Here is the Adam Driver discourse some of you asked for. While I find Adam Driver attractive, I can go months without thinking about him or writing about him. But I like that too – he’s never in-your-face about anything. Which makes it special that he agreed to be the face of a new cologne: Burberry Hero. The ad campaign was shot by Mario Sorrenti, who seemed to be enchanted by Adam’s completely ripped torso. For the commercial, all they had to do was make Adam stand in front of the camera shirtless while he dabbed some cologne onto his naked torso. That’s all it would have taken. Instead, we got this:

Don’t you understand? The man was a horse the whole time. You can be a horse too, if you spritz on some Burberry Hero. Burberry Hero: A Horse Is A Horse Of Course. Honestly though, do you think they first pitch for the cologne name was “Burberry: CENTAUR”? Clearly, the man was always a horse but if you are a man and you wear Burberry Hero, you become a centaur. My guess is Marc Jacobs already trademarked a cologne name of “Horse C–k.”

Of course, perhaps this is some high-level trolling? Adam Driver is attractive to me, but I acknowledge that he is unconventional-looking, perhaps even a little bit equine in his features. Were they making a joke? Or are they really trying to appeal to people with centaur fetishes? Deep sigh.

adam driver doing a cologne ad where he becomes a centaur is completely on brand for him pic.twitter.com/l7ASsiry98

— M🌙 (@adambsolodriver) July 27, 2021

Photos courtesy of Mario Sorrenti for Burberry.