Tiger Woods’ mistress: “We have crazy Ambien sex”

2009 Australian Masters - Day 3

I’m not even going to try to sum up all of the crap that’s out there about Tiger Woods and his wife and his mistresses. The sheer volume of tabloid and mainstream media reports about this situation is overwhelming. So, if you need a recap of our coverage, go here or here or here. Anyway, this report from Radar, the Enquirer and the New York Daily News was too good to pass up. The headlines are along the lines of “Tiger Woods mistress says Tiger took drugs” so I was preparing myself for some juicy Tiger-doing-blow-and-bangin’-hookers stories. That’s not the case, however. One of Tiger’s mistresses, Jaimee Grubbs, once worked at a medical marijuana facility. But Tiger didn’t even smoke the reefer! Grubbs claims (through friends’ recollections of her conversations) that she and Tiger used to have “crazy Ambien sex”. Yes, Ambien sex.

Tiger Woods secret extramarital life continues to yield new scandals.

Rachel Uchitel, the first woman publicly named as Tiger Woods’ mistress, told friends that she did drugs with the golfing legend before they had sex, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively.

That’s the second too-close drug mention for one of America’s perceived squeaky clean sports idols. RadarOnline.com reported exclusively Thursday that another of Tiger’s women, Jaimee Grubbs worked at a medical marijuana “pharmacy” at least until a month ago.

Now we’ve learned that Uchitel told friends that she and Tiger liked to have sex while taking the drug Ambien. Uchitel told one pal, ‘You know you have crazier sex on Ambien – you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex.’”

Ambien is a sedative used for short-term treatment of insomnia. Many people claim it enhances sexual experience dramatically immediately after ingesting it.

Uchitel told several friends that she and Tiger had Ambien sex. She at first vehemently denied an affair with Tiger when the National Enquirer broke the story. After Tiger’s wild ride early-morning crash, Uchitel continued to deny the story and then decided to tell the truth.

She hired power attorney Gloria Allred who scheduled a news conference for Thursday, but then abruptly canceled it. RadarOnline.com reported exclusively that Tiger’s reps were in contact with Uchitel’s team the night before the news conference and a $1 million deal that would ensure her silence was discussed.

[From Radar]

Chuckle. “Crazy Ambien sex” is my new favorite sexual act. Jude Law and Sienna Miller are probably having crazy Ambien sex. Lindsay Lohan has crazy crack and Ambien sex. Question: if Ambien is a sleeping pill, wouldn’t “crazy Ambien sex” just mean that you were half-asleep while you were faking your orgasm?

In another piece of Tiger Woods’ mistresses news, the original one, Rachel Uchitel might not have done the press conference yesterday for reasons other than money. TMZ and the NYDN are reporting that Uchitel is “scared” because she knows too much. It just got Hitchcockian in here, y’all!

Tiger Woods did not pay purported gal pal Rachel Uchitel to cancel her expected dish-all news conference. She backed out because she was “scared for her safety,” sources told the celebrity gossip website TMZ.

The 34-year-old New York party girl cancelled the planned conference after a spate of late night phone calls with Woods, TMZ said Friday, citing unnamed sources.

Uchitel, one of three women identified as love interests of the married golfer, “walked away without taking a cent from Tiger Woods,” the website reported. “This was absolutely not about money.”

Sources told TMZ that Uchitel was “scared for her safety because she knows so much about Tiger, his alleged affairs and a variety of other Woods matters.”

“Rachel does not fear Tiger, as much as she fears all the other people caught in what is becoming a very large net,” the website reported.

Earlier, Uchitel’s lawyer, Gloria Allred, said the leggy blonde had pulled the plug on the press conference “due to unforseen circumstances.”

Woods and Uchitel purportedly carried on a steamy affair for several months, including a tryst in Melbourne, Australia, reportedly set up by the golfer’s childhood pal, Byron Bell.
Other women linked to Woods include Las Vegas night club exec Kalika Moquin, 27, and cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs.

Woods has publicly apologized for his self-confessed “transgressions” and is revising a prenuptual agreement to give his wife, Elin Nordegren, a staggering $55 million to keep her from walking a way with their two young children.

If Nordegren remains with the golfer for at least seven more years, she gets a cool $80 million, a “lawyer familiar with the couple’s negotiations” told Daily Beast reporter Gerald Posner.

[From The New York Daily News]

Haha… yeah. I don’t think it was because Rachel Uchitel ever knew too much about anything. I think she just wants some money, and she’s waiting for her story to be worth more. Oh, and by the way, we don’t have to call Uchitel Tiger’s “alleged” mistress anymore. TMZ just got proof that Tiger’s manager person arranged for Rachel to fly to Australia, just as the Enquirer alleged. What else… there are nude photos of Jaimee Grubbs floating around. Shocking. And Grubbs tells Us Weekly: “He told me he was very insecure about the size of his calves. He said, ‘I can’t grow calves.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, sorry!’” Chuckle. Why the hell do I believe every tabloid story about Tiger? Because they’re too tragic-comic not to!

AMBIEN UPDATE: Oh my f-cking God, this sh-t is priceless. Us Weekly just put up a new story about Tiger and Rachel Uchitel, and it involves Ambien too! Us Weekly says that Uchitel forwarded several of Tiger’s e-mails to her friends. And one of them involved a bizarre dream/fantasy/what-the-hell of Uchitel… well, just read Tiger’s words: “I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f–ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that…Now I can’t get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is awake. Need an Ambien.” Oh. My. Ambien. This is ridiculous.

2009 Australian Masters - Day 3

 

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107 Responses to “Tiger Woods’ mistress: “We have crazy Ambien sex””

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  1. snowball says:

    He wears pants while he’s golfing. Why does he need special calves? Does that hobag Uchitel think Tiger knew some sort of sooper-dooper ultra secret spy stuff? She knows too much. Sounds like she thinks Tiger’s in the mob. That’s probably tomorrow’s story.

    Ambien sex? Tiger’s getting a little freaky.

  2. Praise St. Angie! says:

    Regarding the crazy Ambien sex…

    from what I’ve heard (REALLY, I swear!) you take the Ambien, and try to stay awake. the attempt to stay awake is apparently what brings on the “crazyness” and supposedly it’s almost like you hallucinate.

    probably makes you do things you wouldn’t normally try. IMO, that’s what alcohol is for!

    (personally, I’ve heard too many stories about how f-ed up Ambien can make you…sleep walking/driving/eating/sexing…that I’d never even want to try it. Sounds kind of scary to me.)

    EDIT: to shooswineflu…that’s not so far fetched. according to the police report, a neighbor at the scene of the accident said that Tiger was SNORING as he lay on the ground.

  3. shooswineflu says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Ambien is the real reason for Tiger’s car crash!!!

  4. Eileen Yover says:

    All right here’s my admission! I just had to go through a “detox” from Ambien. I have insomnia and was taking it, then I started taking one a night, every night. I guess you can’t do that. I started blacking out and doing things I don’t remember at night. I thought I was going to sleep, but evidentally I was emailing people, eating, and having “Crazy Ambien Sex” with my husband. I woke up one morning naked, neck ties laying all over the floor, and my husband with a big grin on his face. The grin quickly disappeared when I asked “Did we have sex last night?” LOL
    I guess after a few months of taking it every night it begins to build up in your system and its a hypnotic so your basically taking too much and blacking out. I quit cold turkey and had the shakes, jerks, throwing up…and its just from taking ONE at night before bedtime!! Beware people if you are taking Ambien! I won’t touch the stuff with a 10 foot pole now!

  5. Codzilla says:

    Praise: I can confirm your speculations based on firsthand experience. BUT, it didn’t help me sleep at all, which was kind of the point, so we parted ways.

  6. bros says:

    ive taken ambien before and experienced nothing of the sort. this is too. weird.

  7. knotstu says:

    Tut … I thought this was gonna be interesting…

  8. Cinderella says:

    Tiger is turning out to be one screwed- up SOB. What a weirdo!

  9. Whitey Fisk says:

    Eileen, your post is absolutely hilarious. Imagining his face going from saucy to stunned is too much.

    I take Ambien a couple of times a month on average. I’ve never had a problem, and most nights I fall asleep just fine without it.

    I did have a friend tell me once to take it after you lie down in bed with the lights out when you are literally ready to go to sleep – no tv, reading, etc – which I do. Maybe that makes a difference…

    Anyway, this whole Tiger thing is going from juicy to downright disturbing.

  10. seven says:

    Eileen – I took Ambien for about a month or so and I started doing crazy shit too. No ” Crazy Ambien sex” but i was making sandwhiches, playing on the internet and apparently trying to walk my dog… Ambien is not to be messed with lol.

  11. Meow says:

    I have a feeling that although Tiger did fight with his wife, reports of her scratching,hitting, and beating his car window in a rage are incorrect (and the source was probably Uchitel).I think Elin did break the windows to get him out, his wreck was much worse in later reports, compared to the earlier reports. I think Tiger refused to speak to the police because he was driving while taking ambien and drinking, perhaps even sleep driving. Here is an article where a woman was raped after taken Ambien/and alchohol and had a black out. http://www.wesh.com/news/20146933/detail.html

    I live in the Orlando area and Tiger’s crash has been all over the news and radio. Just when I started to watch the local news again, I stopped when the coverage was all about Casy Anthony.

  12. Megan says:

    “Crazy Ambien Sex”? hmmm… i’m gonna have to try that!

  13. wow says:

    I think Tiger just got himself another “sponsor” in Ambien. *rolling my eyes*

  14. Meow says:

    http://www.wesh.com/news/20146933/detail.html

    This report states that he was snoring after the crash, and that is car was traveling at 30mph.

  15. ogechi says:

    men!!!!!!i cant believe this man that looks clean can be as dangerous. looks can be deceptive.

  16. Guest says:

    ding! round 2 if elin reads this!

  17. Iggles says:

    Wow… this affair thing is REALLY getting back. Opened a can of worms and this WILL effect his career. He’ll still be the #1 golfer, but beyond that he’s screwed (bye-bye endorsement deals!).

    However, being a top player will still get him major bucks.

  18. Eileen Yover says:

    Whitey: Oh yeah, my husband was torn between loving the Ambien for bringing out the inner freak I used to be before kids, or hating it because I didn’t remember!
    I went to my doctor and she said it takes about 3-4 months of taking it every night for some people to experience anything, and some just a month. Depends on your sensitivity to it. She had a patient that gained 20 lbs from eating while on it. Her husband walked in on her in the middle of the night in a “zombie type” state eating raw hamburger meat! She was eating anything she could get her hands on! Blech-can you imagine!??

  19. Bob Lawblaw says:

    Maybe he’ll be endorsing Ambien soon.

    His tagline:

    For when your body is tired, but your mind is Awake. Ambien.

  20. Rae says:

    When, when, when will people learn not to conduct their affairs through electronic means that can be saved and forwarded and shared with EVERYONE on the planet! What happened to the days when clandestine affairs were … you know … clandestine?

  21. gg says:

    omg Eileen!

    I was prescribed it a few years ago for menopause. It made me wake up at 2am every morning and that drove me insane. So I quit. Now when I have sleep problems I take Lunesta, but I never got withdrawals from either!

    After all the terrible driving/eating/raping while Ambien-ing stories I’m shocked people are still taking this crap.

  22. Lantana says:

    Eileen – I was prescribed Ambien and I thought it helped me sleep. I started having severe panic attacks at any random time…driving, sitting in my manager’s office, watching the news…all of a sudden I would feel like I was going to pass out and die. This was about 2 weeks after I started the Ambien. I thought it was just a menopause thing, but something made me think to just quit taking the Ambien. About 2 weeks later, all was good. I told my dr and he swears that 99% of the people he prescribes it to are fine with it…I’m not sure if my hubby and I had crazy ambien sex as he probably wouldn’t tell me unless he thought it was about to happen again in which case I wouldn’t remember.

  23. l says:

    this is seriously the BEST comment thread in a while! you guys are FUNNY!!!!

  24. Boo says:

    I take ambien a couple times a month when I’m having trouble sleeping. About a month ago I had a couple drinks with dinner, then an hour or so later took an ambien before climbing into bed. I was all over my boyfriend! It was totally hot, but I definetely only remember pieces here and there. Apparently afterwards I freaked my boyfriend out because I said I had to go to the bathroom and *tried* to get out of bed three times before he had to help walk me in, hold me on the toilet and walk me back to bed. Very embarrassing and I don’t remember a bit of it. I’ll never drink and take ambien again, dispite the hot sex, because I don’t like to be in situations where people have to hold me upright on the toilet.

  25. MPovich says:

    Took ambien once and tripped my balls off. No lie, I saw imaginary people standing around my bed, holding candles and chanting. I actually talked to these hallucinations. Crazy.

  26. birdie says:

    Loving the Ambien stories!

    My roommate junior year of college started taking ambien for insomnia, and experienced a 20 pound weight gain. I experienced constantly missing food. I had a feeling she was sleep eating but she insisted she couldn’t be, she didn’t remember it. It took 6 months before I finally caught her standing in front of the fridge eating butter sticks at 5 in the morning.

    Not gonna lie, I have taken it and “fought” the sleep intentionally to experience the hallucinations. My feelings were “Meh” I saw birds nesting in my closet and thought that I shared my apartment with other animals like mice and squirrels. I woke up with post it notes all over my room “Call Exterminators” … “Mouse Hole” (over a wall socket) It wasn’t altogether a very pleasant experience, I should’ve had some sex.

  27. Sumodo says:

    I have a first cousin who was prescribed Ambien, and in her jammies, she drove from Queens into her job in Manhattan in the middle of the night. When I heard that, I was mighty scared. My doctor says sometimes Ambien problems run in families and she wouldn’t prescribe it for me.

  28. Orangejulius says:

    I seem to be missing out on all the fun. I had ambien for a few nights and slept fine with no trippy stuff. I’ll keep it in mind for the next time I have company for the weekend!

  29. Praise St. Angie! says:

    holy crap, these stories are scary!

    and birdie, butter sticks?! wow…

  30. wif says:

    Wow! Thanks for the anecdotal education you guys. I’ve never even heard of Ambien, sounds like it can be powerful stuff.

  31. birdie says:

    Yes, butter sticks. When I told her about it the next day it was like stages of grief. First shock, then denial, then anger, then she went to the gym for 2 hours, then she cried.

  32. SolitaryAngel says:

    I was born with a sleep disorder and was first placed on Ambien in 1998; if you DON’T take it and go straight to bed and stay there–YES you will do shit you won’t believe. I would wake up and find out I’d changed the message on my answering machine, watched movies I’d later swear I hadn’t, and yes, sometimes “crazy Ambien sex” happened. I would tell the doctor all this and he said Ambien couldn’t cause amnesia like that but time tells the story.
    I only take it now for 3 months a few times a year to settle my sleep schedule because that shit is scary.

  33. Firestarter says:

    @Seven- Yeah, I found myself eating all the time. I woke up one morning and it was like I had been frozen. I was sitting upright on the couch, cookie in hand. Ambien food crazy for me.

  34. Eileen Yover says:

    OMG Birdie, the butter sticks gross me out! I can’t stand eating butter unless its melted onto something. Just thinking that I might have eaten cold stick butter is enough to have scared me straight if I wasn’t already!

  35. Praise St. Angie! says:

    geez, birdie, your poor roommate!

    I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to be gaining weight and not know why…then find out that YOU’VE been doing it while sleepwalking?

    wow, that’s tough.

  36. inthiseconomy says:

    I guess Ambien is his new sponsor then?

  37. Lem says:

    quick, send me a pill!! Hello, pill? Here!

    I’m really waiting for the tape to be released of Tiger all tied up, ball gag and such getting punished like a ‘bad, bad boy’. Thank you m’am may I have another.

    Ew nevermind, I don’t want to see that. But I have a feeling it’s out there.

    Something good to come out of this (cause I don’t know them and am a gossip wh*re) regular joe’s are discussing the freaky side. I always think it’s a good thing when peoples freaky shows.

  38. Goddess711 says:

    Crazy sounds about right.

  39. juiceinla says:

    Hopefully he can now be the new celebrity spokesperson for Ambien- Here come more Endorsements!

  40. crash2GO2 says:

    My ex totaled my car driving out for cigs at 2 am on Ambien. He also talked and waved his arms around like crazy while he slept, and once even slugged me. It’s a weird hypnotic, no doubt.

  41. jaundicemachine says:

    Oh hands down – Ambien is awesome.
    And sex on Ambien is. . . well it’s just fantastic.
    You get a some mild hallucinations like when you’re on mushrooms, only dialed back. Like a fuzzy little blanket of “unreality”. Wonderful stuff.

    Unfortunately, I had a bad run in with the stuff and, long story short, I no longer have a prescription. But if I managed to get a hold of a couple. . . damn! I swear I’d use them for good (and not for evil).

    Wait. . . what were we talking about, again?

  42. Eileen Yover says:

    Hey if any of you want to come out of the Celebitchy Closet,friend me on Facebook! I want to put a face to the post on here!
    I’m under my real name Kristi McCarty Yover.

  43. Pole says:

    Wow, that email is pretty tacky :O

  44. Pete says:

    The hell Tiger Wood is good at sex. No wonder he needs drugs for “stimulation” and dumbass women who are desperate for money.

    Woods has the personality of dishwater. He’s boring as hell. And he’s been sleeping around like a hound since he’s been on the pro tour, long before he met his wife so the mistress’ claims about him being “unhappy” are irrelevant. He’s always been this way.

  45. Lantana says:

    omg, this is about the funniest thread in forever. Birdie – the post-it over the electrical outlet (mouse hole) totally cracked me up. Did you hear when MJ died, they found 100′s if not 1000′s of post-its all over his wall? When I heard that I thought OMG THAT IS ME. I leave myself notes everywhere. And I never fought the sleep w/Ambien as I wanted to sleep (which is why I took it) but I could so easily see doing that. And the butter stick thing! ICK GAG. I’d be happy not knowing I did that. But that reminds me of something my mom always says, which is that you can never gain more weight than the weight of something you are eating. So if you want to eat a pound of cheesecake, the most you can gain is one pound. I’ve done the math and I think she’s right. So a stick of butter is 810 calories. It takes 3500 to gain a pound. Let’s all go eat a stick of butter!

  46. Gistine says:

    Both these people are pigs and now they have to drag Ambien into it! I took it for awhile and once I drank a bottle of wine with it and I started hallucinating. My ex-husband looked like a Picasso painting. And this is FDA approved medicine. Nice.

    After I started having suicidal thoughts I stopped taking it. I find my 215 for medical marijuana makes me sleep the best with no side affects; not even munchies.

    David Letterman and Tiger Woods have really fallen from grace this year. Crazy time for seemingly normal dudes who are in fact freaknasty penis villians.

  47. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “freaknasty penis villians”

    OMG, I LOVE that!

    I’m totally going to use it!

  48. Gistine says:

    @Praise St. Angie! Go for it Chicky! I did spell villains wrong though. Whoopsie!

  49. Lem says:

    “I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament. I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f–ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that…”
    “freaknasty penis villians” “get into that Ambien haze”"standing in front of the fridge eating butter sticks”"come out of the Celebitchy Closet” !
    “I woke up one morning naked, neck ties laying all over the floor,”"I’ll never drink and take ambien again, dispite the hot sex, because I don’t like to be in situations where” “I had been frozen. ”
    “I was prescribed it a few years ago for menopause” “wouldn’t “crazy Ambien sex” just mean that you were half-asleep while you were faking your orgasm? “Oh hands down – Ambien is awesome. And sex on Ambien is. . . well it’s just fantastic.”

    “Call Exterminators” … “Mouse Hole” …
    “Tiger’s getting a little freaky.”

    “Crazy Ambien sex” is my new favorite sexual act” “It just got Hitchcockian in here, y’all!”

    (with liberties)

  50. BiggieShortie says:

    LOL@ Gistine & Praise- that is HILARIOUS….

    “freaknasty penis villains”
    {falls off chair cackling like a loon}

  51. Firestarter says:

    Takes a crazy to know one! *eye roll*

  52. Kathie says:

    Another poster who was writing on another TW post on this site made a very good point..to paraphrase, You don’t pay hookers for sex, you pay hookers to keep their mouths shut afterwards. See? no pay Jaimie…no shutee mouth! As for Rachel, she was scared for her safety…deposit box! As you can see money bought her silence..TW needs to start spreadin the green instead of putting on it!

  53. WTF?!? says:

    shooswineflu, you may be onto something. The neighbor who found him at the scene said he was snoring.

  54. Jax says:

    I don’t feel one bit sorry for Tiger since he brought all this on himself

    BUT

    I imagine he thought these women cared about him and now he finds they betrayed all his secrets everywhere. He must feel like shit now. However, not as shitty as his wife feels.

    More and more I wonder if having megabucks is worth it.

  55. Jax says:

    OMG That can be Tiger’s new excuse! He was having all this crazy sex with women BECAUSE of Ambien and he remembers none of it. Off the hook!

  56. Yae says:

    OMG I think I got a contact-high reading the blogs.

    Funniest thing all week.

  57. Darlene says:

    This thread is HYSTERICAL.

    For my two cents, I take Ambien two or three times a month and go straight to bed. Once, I was awakened in the middle of the night by something, about 2 hours after I went to sleep taking one, and I felt REALLY out of it. I remember telling my (awake) husband that I just had to go back to bed, and staggered back and fell asleep. I remember it though.

    No hallucinations or anything like that, I’m kind of sad to say. Maybe next time I take one I’ll try to stay awake and ask my husband to watch me – I don’t want to eat the butter! LOL!

  58. Goddess711 says:

    Does the board expert know how to say “Ambien” in “Scandanavian”?

  59. Bob says:

    I hear the real scandal that all these women are threatening to reveal is that in bed Tiger is only swinging a “five iron.”

  60. lastwordlinda says:

    This is the best site ever. Everyone who posts here is hilarious. I just had a really shitty day and am now feeling better after lmao reading these posts. Love you guys. Thanks!

  61. gg says:

    I’m tellin ya – IF you HAVE to take something to actually help you to, you know, SLEEP – DON’T take Ambien.

    Either check out Benadryl or Lunesta (in bad cases). They appear to be safer from my experiences.

    but Ambien, NO NO NO…

  62. Eileen Yover says:

    Are you kidding me? Freaknasty penis villains? I love it! That needs to be a name of a shot! “Yes I’ll have the Freaknasty Penis Villain…”

  63. vlad469 says:

    I can speak to the feelings from trying to stay awake after Ambien. It’s just CRAZY. It’s like mescaline, and I’m not just speculating here. Ambien nookie is awesome.

  64. Di says:

    Hasn’t it occurred to anybody that these women could be LYING about the details. Pretty soon we’re going to be hearing that he dressed up in women’s underwear.

  65. mik says:

    not sure why but this guy is starting to remind me of Scott Peterson.

  66. fizXgirl314 says:

    damn, I took ambien for quite some time and I never experienced anything strange… that kind of sucks… I have no good stories to tell, except of me sleeping soundly… BOOOOORRRIIIIIINGGGGGGGG…

  67. raine says:

    elin… divorce ur crazy husband.. not just 1 but 2, 3, 4 or who knows.. 10 same type of mistress!

  68. diva says:

    This story is really as bad as it gets. It is so sordid, that you just can’t help but read it and believe since no one could make this sh-t up. I think Tiger has either an alcohol or prescription drug problem since he seems to be spending a lot of time in night clubs picking up random women sexting. Alcohol and or prescription drugs I believe are at the root of Tigers problem. He should just go to rehab it would be a hell of a lot better to blame it on the alcohol as the song says rather than admit that you were stone cold sober acting like a total perverted a-hole. I vote rehab, there is no other way to clean this mess up.

  69. Tess says:

    Crouching Tiger, Hidden Leopard
    Sequel I:
    Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant
    Sequel II:
    Crouching Crazy, Hidden Calves

  70. crash2GO2 says:

    @Goddess711: WTF is your problem?

    Hilarious thread – I feel like I’m hallucinating just reading it.

  71. DD says:

    why do i expect prescriptions for ambien to go up by 100%.

    hey doc i’ve been having trouble falling asleep while having sex… I suppose a prescription of ambien would help.

  72. Jag says:

    lol Y’all are great. :)

    I just slept for two days straight after taking 1 prescription Ambien pill. Halfed it, and slept for an entire day the next time I took it. So no Ambien for me.

    My mother would hallucinate on it, and dad would wake up to her trying to climb the dresser, or hanging off the side of the bed; she would go back to when she was 5 years old and fish with her father. Dad would hear her side of the conversations and she did all the movements. The dresser climbing was her trying to climb trees. Freaky stuff.

  73. Bobby the K says:

    ~

    Diva – “As sordid as it gets”?

    The car crash was too minor to be a hot detail, and the rest, banal.

    Don’t read ‘Hollywood Babylon’ without an oxygen tank nearby.

    Best joke of the episode (imho):

    ‘He should have used a driver.’

  74. ! says:

    “Oh hands down – Ambien is awesome…Unfortunately, I had a bad run in with the stuff and, long story short, I no longer have a prescription.”

    Wow, just wow. You’re probably the stupidest person I’ve ever seen on Celebitchy. “Its awesome! I’m no longer allowed a prescription because I got carried away!” What a contradiction. And after reading these stories, why would anyone recommend it to anyone else? DUMB

  75. wif says:

    #76, !; that was way too harsh.

  76. DärkSøck says:

    I peed in a horse once on Ambien. True story.

  77. K-Love says:

    As I read the comments, it’s so funny to everyone what Tiger is going through. Too me it’s sad. When the action of a person does so much damage to there family. Everybody thinks it’s a joke. The hurt Elim is going through is not funny, it’s real. I wish that everyone would step back and realize that this is not just about Tiger. If this was your mistake would you want the actions rveryone is showing to be done to you? The real deal is when we do something stupid, we as individuals don’t want it broadcast. I wish society would show compassion to the realness of this terrible,embarrasing, hurtful,situation that his wife and enventually his children will have to go through. No to me it is not a joke, it is not funny, it’s sad. I will pray that the Woods family get through this and that Tiger will learn to appreciate what he has and understand why he has such a great gift and be the responsible adult that he should be. To whom much is given much is required. I pray that none of the jokesters ever have to experience anything close what to the Woods FAMILY.

  78. Roma says:

    DärkSøck, you peed IN a horse?!?!

  79. David says:

    I really want someone to be monitoring the sales of Ambien right now. Holy shit, I might just buy some and try that crazy Ambien sex.

    Actually, my distinct impression of this whole affair is that Tiger Woods is a perfectly normal human being with the impulse control of a rich person.

    The only thing he did that I can’t behind is the deception of his wife and his waitress mistress who was genuinely in love with him. But his other nine mistresses… they and Tiger were just using each other. All of them go out of their way to volunteer information about how good the sex was.

    Look, Tiger was just not temperamentally right for a normal marriage, and he never should have done it. Or rather, he should have married someone that he could be honest with, and tell her right up front that the marriage won’t be monogamous but that he’ll be nice to her and any kids when he’s around, that the sex will be good, and that they’ll all have no want for money.

    Are there any hot women who would say ‘yes’ if Tiger Woods proposed to them in this way? Countless many. He should have married one of those, and then been sincere with his mistresses. Apart from this, he did absolutely nothing wrong and nothing weird.

  80. MzMaryMac says:

    Hilarious thread…thanks for the giggles…(funny I do a lot of that stuff in the middle of the night and I don’t take ANYTHING!!!)

    But with all this talk of Ambien and Oprah…anyone else feel a stint in rehab coming soon??? That would take the heat off of the affairs and put it on “prescription drug addiction.” Slick!

  81. Freakygrl says:

    ROFLMMFAO! Tee hee heeeeee!!!!!!

  82. DärkSøck says:

    Roma:

    Yes, but I don’t think I was erect at the time so I don’t think it could be construed as gay sex (it was, erm, a male horse). I believed at the time that I was mowing the lawn behind a large hairy push mower, and as I often do whilst mowing my lawn I proceeded to do “the walkin’ piddles”. Anybody here know what I mean? Anybody here from rural Mississippi?

    Anybody?

    H’lo?

  83. Dasbeer says:

    I think I ate a PayDay candy bar out of my dog’s ass while tripping on Ambien once, so I refuse to judge the actions of Tiger Woods.

    Ambien is a helluva a drug.

  84. Moon J. Bracket says:

    Listen, you all are making much ado about nothing. I popped a 10 mg Ambien as I climbed in bed and began reading this thread, and now 10 minutes later I feel compelled to tell you all to speak to the cheese arm of United Face; wet ham flies at night. Sherpa vs. cupola, B&R at Tidy Bowl Man.

    Fart,

    Gompers.

  85. mouth.like.a.sailor says:

    i swear to god, when i first heard about this whole car crash thing where his neighbor found him sleeping i thought LUNESTA!!!! i had a friend who was on it and she would get up in the middle of the night and drive places, one night her husband caught her right as she was getting ready to go out the door and she told him she need to go get a sub at Wawa-in her pajamas with no shoes. she also would log onto chat rooms in the middle of the night and talk to all kinds of guys-basically having an internet affair-and not remember a single thing of it. it actually ruined her marriage! her husband found out and couldn’t believe that she didn’t know what she was doing(she really didn’t) and she thought he was making stuff up and going crazy on her for no reason because she honestly had no idea WTF he was talking about. it wasn’t until the going to Wawa at 3am incident did she realize that he was telling the truth and he realized she was in some weird Lunesta-coma.

    now about Ambien…………back in 1999 i was prescribed it for a while and i would take it and then stay awake for an hour or two just for fun. i never hallucinated or anything but i definately felt a weird kind of “high” and i liked it!!! i would get on ebay and just bid on CRAZY stuff. the next morning i logged on and found that the night before i had gotten into a bidding war over some crazy ancient tibetan beads-god knows what i thought i was going to do with them-nevertheless, i certainly didn’t have the $$$ to pay for all the stuff i ended up winning. it was CRAZY.

    i never tried doin the dirty while on ambien, but damn! i wish i had, i’m starting to feel like i really missed out. after my friend’s experiences with lunesta, it really scared me, that’s some really crazy stuff-and REALLY dangerous. can you imagine driving to friggin WAWA at 3am?!?!? you are essentially sleep-driving. LOOK AT TIGER!!!! he crashed in his own neighborhood, could you imagine if he had made it to the freeway and hit someone going 60mph or more?!?! talk about ending his career…..yikes.

  86. FRIEND says:

    K-79, YOU NEED TO STAY OUT OF THE CHURCH AND INVEST YOUR TIME IN THE SCHOOL YARD. SINNERS ARE FORGIVEN, BAD IGNORANT SPELLERS ARE MADE FUN OF. JOIN THE REAL WORLD – NOT THE CHURCH.

  87. duffy1958 says:

    As time goes on I think Tiger will begin to lose endorsements. The first one to cancel is going to have to have some big kajones. If the women were smart they would take a couple mil and shut up and allow Tiger and family to heal and repair how ever they are going to. Elin will probably stay for at least 2 more years and receive 55 mil. THAT may give her the courage and strength to stay an additional 5 years for additional 25 mil for a total of 80 mil if she stays for 7 years. The term of agreement is she will appear in public with him and act as a wife. Heck if she just has to “act” that’s a pretty good gig. I don’t think anything else is going to pay her as well. yes?

    Tiger has BEEN the #1 golfer. He may no longer be, he won’t have the confidence he once had. etc. etc.

    Infedelity is a bitch and the fall-out is very painful. I’m pretty sure Tiger regrets his irresponsibility.

  88. CindyLow says:

    OMG!!! I can relate to the hallucinations & the romping in bed when this stuff kicks in. I used to think I saw fairies in the trees outside me window. Like anything else..be responsible and for God’s sake don’t pick-up the phone!!

  89. Sarah Ian says:

    Car accidents caused by driving under the use of Ambien are not that rare. There is a lot of information about the drug at http://www.ambienoverdose.org.

  90. ambien comments says:

    After reading the first 10 comments above…All I can tell you is my own story..(and I NEVER sign up to comment on things with the internet)

    in 1996 I worked 2 jobs and couldn’t sleep. A dr. gave me ambien (10 mg) i had never heard of it nor had anyone I was around. I nicknamed it the ‘Star Wars” drug because if I forced myself to stay awake I would see things… the light through the curtain was moving, the walls moved, the clock number got bigger and smaller. Once I finally went to sleep it was amazing and I woke up with no ‘hang over” nor did I oversleep. about 5 years later I took them again when needed and realized they made me want to have sex. The person I was with realized this and God As my Witness started putting them into my food/drinks at night but I didn’t know what happened until the next morning when I could tell something was wrong. Once this became WAY to familiar I told him I thought he was doing this and got ride of them and told him while a female friend of mine was at our home if he touched me again I would call the police. He admitted it front of her (to both of our disbelief that he HAD been doing this and said SO WHAT?).

    No judgements please, I know i’m stupid and should not have trusted him after that. Long story short… we had a child… around 2004-2005 he came home and said he couldn’t sleep and that he had gotten ambien. I said “ok”… he told me the next day he never wanted to take it again because I watched him get up at night and make food, check the doors, watch tv, etc… and he knew nothinbg about it. HOWEVER, I guess he thought it was ok since he had them to play with them. He brought wine to me a month or so later and all I remember is some funky hazy sexual things happinging and the next day he told me some weird things as well then let me know he thought I needed some sleep so he gave me some without telling me. I do not need to hear the issues with this I am WELL aware and I check everything I have now believe me. I can tell you without writing a whole book about this that I have taken them on my own before and without anyone around… if you cannot find someone to have sex with you will have it alone period. My best friend took these and her boyfriend told her he had never had sex with her or had her been that open before. IF this was a good, unharmful, decent drug I would say go for it for those of us that are insecure, but since it can be taken advantage of by a**holes that deceive you then PLEASE be careful the first few times you take it. You sleep like an angel (later) and wake up refreshed but you need to be alone or be able to just go straight to sleep and trust the person you are with to let you get just that… SLEEP.

  91. famousde says:

    I like to snort Ambien lines and then have like 3-day long sex marathons with multiple escorts dressed as kitty cats.

    Joking
    DE

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  93. Christina Nunn says:

    Wow, ambien sex. I don’t think I’ve experienced that before, wouldn’t remember it if I had. I’ve been taking it off and on since it came out in the late 90s. About a year and a half ago, I woke up with no hair on my arms and the word “BATH” made with tape in my bathtub! Apparently, I shaved my arms and “decorated” my bathtub. Hilarious!
    Now when I take it, I make sure I lay down immediately afterwards and fall asleep. As long as I don’t get up and do anything after taking it, I’m fine.

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  100. Meanchick says:

    Not about the money? Puh-leaze Miss Coochie-Tell, it’s ALL about the money! This happened how long ago? She doesn’t want to be forgotten and her new hubby (she got married, right?) must also be a scumbag or he’d tell his squeeze to STFU about it already! What man wants his lady to keep running her mouth about boning a married dude 99 years ago?

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