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Oh. Snap. Lainey Gossip has an exclusive preview of a story that will be coming out in this week’s Star Magazine. The scoop: Reese Witherspoon’s rebound romance with Gerard Butler. Ah… NO. Shall I go into why this all kinds of wrong? First of all, keep your damn hands off my Butler, Reese! Second: The Butler likes them dark. For real. Like, he has a thing for Indian girls, Brazilian girls, girls that look exactly like Zoe Saldana. And Reese is a pretty little blonde. Third: He’s probably still contractually obligated to Jennifer Aniston’s vadge until Bounty Hunter promotions are done. Fourth: Reese likes ‘em clean. She likes men who don’t stick ‘em in every vagina that falls from the sky. Reese wouldn’t. Would she?
This week’s Star Magazine takes fantasy to a new level. The cover, of course, is an Angelina Jolie exclusive. This time she’s supposedly working on Johnny Depp, driving a wedge between him and V Paradis, and openly pursuing him because she is your husband’s hot ass bad ass vixen of a secretary. What?
The second feature is Reese Witherspoon’s rebound romance.
With GERARD Butler.
Please God, if only it were true. It’s not, obviously, considering the source, but can you imagine? Upon hearing of Star’s latest f-ckery, Duana hilariously just wrote: “I mean, is Gerard Butler just on standby for when you need to appear not frigid?”
How did Spittle become the validation of a single sweetheart’s libido? Gross. Like I said, I will NEVER understand the Butler quiver. He’s vile. And he’s a pig. And Reese has an ice ass. Which is why the mere suggestion of two together is absurd. She’d use the wrong fork before she’d step to that sh-t.
If you’re looking for fiction, Star Magazine hits newsstands tomorrow.
[From Lainey Gossip]
Why it could make sense: Reese is allowed to rebound, especially after what I can only imagine was straight vanilla everything with Jake Gyllenhaal. She’s allowed some Hot Scottish Moobed-Up Spice. It would also make sense because, despite what I said about Gerard liking darker girls, the man is a wh-re who probably does not really care about hair color. Third reason: Opposites attract, at least for a short time. She’s a tightass, he couldn’t care less. It’s like a trite romantic comedy, only it’s about The Butler.
Reese has made my enemies list!
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Gerard Butler, Hookups, Reese Witherspoon
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he s gross
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Mmmm mm MMMMMMM. He’s so yummy! I don’t get the Reese appeal. I think she’s a great actress and I like her movies but she’s strange looking to me.
But if Gerry will make out with a violin player on the street in front of photogs, he’s not going to turn down a rebound romp!
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I thougth the tabs had him w/ Jessica S.
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I think that Butler’s type is “female” and “heterosexual”.
honestly, I think he just likes women, all shapes, sizes, colors and fame-levels.
however, I don’t believe this story because I don’t really see Witherspoon going for HIS type.
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geez Gerard Butler is a slut
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I call bull on this one.
No way would he be able to put up with her.
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is there a woman in hollywood this guy hasn’t boinked? don’t get the appeal there…he looks like would reek of stale beer.
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IF he is shtupping this uptight woman it is proof he is drinking again and needs to go back on the wagon.
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They keep trying to attach him to all of these high profile actresses without much success in it being true. Meanwhile his real lady friend is probably somewhere cuddled up next to him at night and laughing her a$$ off with him over these made up romances.
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I don’t think so. There is opposites attract, and then there is “One is in space and the other is buried in the center of the earth”. Just too different, and considering how controlling Witherspoon is and how “I do what I WANT!” Butler is…maybe they had a one night stand, but even then I could still see some fighting over who plays what role.
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@wow – you make a good point. I wonder if my this is his PR team try to keep him high profile? After all, actresses are suspected of that all the time.
But anyway, I don’t buy it. I think she’d be too uptight for him, and he’d be way too…whatever for her. I think she is a driven woman, and I can’t see her wasting time with any guy like him.
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Good Lord Kaiser isn’t their a rumor you don’t believe. I don’t believe this at all. I can’t imagine Reese hooking up with somebody with a reputation for being a sleazebag.
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butler looks like a walking herpes to me.
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I don’t find Reese even remotely attractive – never have. She’s got a hard, tough look about her, and my well honed GUYdar tells me she’s a totally self-absorbed bitchhead.
Plus, I prefer olive skinned brunettes – they’re more fun! Just ask my girlfriend!
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Beth wrote: “Good Lord Kaiser isn’t their a rumor you don’t believe?”
LOL! This is one of the ‘quirks’ about Kaiser that I rather like, actually. I find it rather fetching.
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We won’t comment about where Reese’s recent “man” in fact was sticking his and please Hubby #1 was a manwhore if you recall.
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Reese would not touch this fool with a 10 foot pole. He’s a walking disease, a major ‘ho and UGLY!! His PR people need to pick a woman that people would believe he could hook up with, like Lohan or Hilton or other filthy people. They would make more sense than a lady like Reese.
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@JohnnieR – i’m with you. reese always has bitchface and she seems so freaking uptight.
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“Scottish” and “hot” should not be used in the same sentence. I imagine a date with a Scot to be cocktails with bagpipe accompaniment, then a haggis dinner, blood pudding for dessert, and then 3 minutes of stick yer wee head under me kilt: “ooh, lassie, yer a goer, ye are!”
And you’d pay for you own cab home.
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I just absolutely love these kinds of stories – I mean they make me laugh. I’m always amazed at how desperate they make every single woman in Hollywood look. If they are not pass around Butler then it’s Bradley Cooper. It’s comical how they portray single women!!
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Does it help if the bush is dark? Anyway, I agree with everyone that calls BS on this. If Reese wanted to make a booty call, there’s lots more fish in her sea.
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Reese seems like a down to earth girl and hasn’t been around the block. She’s clean and fresh so to speak and if he’s ready to settle down it won’t be with a bed hopper like Jen. I think her vicious fans run all the good guys off.
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Gerard gives new meaning to “the Butler did it”, but the man’s wang must exist in four dimensions for him to be tapping the percentage of Hollywood booty he allegedly has!
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Agree on all 4 points- no way this is happening. the Star is becoming “OK!” just making shiksa up.
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Does this mean Reese has a new gig as a beard?
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First, I think this story is ridic. Gerry is totally man-whore, but I don’t think Reese would lower her standards.
But with regards to this:
“Second: The Butler likes them dark. For real. Like, he has a thing for Indian girls, Brazilian girls, girls that look exactly like Zoe Saldana. And Reese is a pretty little blonde.”
Seems like Gerry goes for women of all colors (from Bollywood actresses to Violin lady). Though I’m sure he zeros in on pretty women of color too, lol.
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I don’t get Butler’s appeal at all. He looks like something growing on the side of a tree trunk.
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agree with St. Angie. Unless Reese is gettin’ whack on crack I don’t see her giving Gerry a second glance.
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@teri: I doubt Reese or any other Hollywood actress is all that squeaky-clean, but she’s not giving off desperation vibes either, so I don’t see her jumping into the sack with Gerard Butler.
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Ugh he is an ugly mofo. Reese can do so much better.
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nO WAY, Reese has way too many functioning brain cells to get together with this manwhore.
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I don’t buy this at all. Reese wouldn’t touch him with a 10- foot pole. Well at least I hope not! Leave my girl alone Spittle boy!
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I don’t believe this one either – but do remember that Reese was married to Ryan Phillipe – as noted elsewhere, another big man-whore.
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They are probably planning on making a movie together, that’s all!
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I know this isn’t true, but I so want it to be just for the potential comedy factor. Sigh… missed opportunities…
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She’s starting to look rather terrible.
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For all of you saying GB likes ‘em dark – where’s this coming from? I read stories on this site about him here and there but have never seen pics of him with a dark girl (well, other than fan photos), and have never seen a story of him supposedly being linked to a dark actress/singer/celeb. Just curious as to why this is such a frequent comment and why some people seem convinced the “pretty blonde” type isn’t his thing?
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@JohnnyR – I’m with you too
Too much chin going on there and she’s not that pretty, then again they said the same thing about fugly troll Aniston
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Its a sad state of affairs in our society when an actor has his handlers working overtime to try and convince the public that he’s straight to the point of making the man a joke. I guess its better to have an image of an immoral, weak-minded, disease infested MAN-HO than a loving, sensible, monogamous HOMO.
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@justbitchy – you made me laugh out loud! My grandfather was Scottish and that’s exactly how my grandmother described their first date!
LMAO!!
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@Just Bitchy..LOL, I nearly spit up my coffee on the computer.
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@producers of Larry King Live ITA, can anyone come up with the name of any woman GB has had an actual relationship with? There have been nothing more than rumors and media speculation about even dating much less sleeping with one. His PR people work 24/7 to give him a straight image.
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GERARD is in Cabo w/ Aniston so I guess he’s cheating on REESE
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Gerard was photographed kissing a woman he didn’t even know last week. If he’s in Cabo this week, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t hoooking up with Reese. He’s a whore.
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