This is what they call regression. Always trust Jessica Simpson to regress, to never learn from her mistakes. So, back in the day (circa 2007), Jessica had a rumored affair/relationship with her Employee of the Month costar (and I wrote that “Employee of the Mouth” at first, which is appropriate for both of them) Dane Cook. Whatever happened between the two them, it didn’t last for very long, but Dane never really said a bad word about Jessica, and she stayed pretty quiet about him too, so whatever. Although there was a rumor that she was planning a tell-all book last year, in which she would detail her relationship with Dane, John Mayer and Jude Law (seriously).
In any case, Jessica may be feeling a little down in the dumps because her ex John Mayer won’t shut up about her, or because she and Billy Corgan aren’t really dating. So Jessica needed an ego boost, and she may have gotten it from Dane Cook. Oh, girl. Get it together!
John Mayer’s “sexual napalm”—otherwise known as Jessica Simpson—hit the town in Los Angeles last night, and the seedy singer was the last thing on the blonde’s mind.
It seems Jess was more than happy to focus all her attention on her supposed former flame…Dane Cook!
Simpson watched her rumored ex-lover perform at the Laugh Factory Tuesday, and she was all smiles.
“She came in to see [Dane] with two girls and two guys,” says an eyewitness. “They snuck her into the back door right before the show began, and she sat at a table on the floor level.”
Our spy says Simpson, dressed in a Rolling Stones T-shirt with jeans and heels, looked very natural and relaxed as she laughed, dined on cheese pizza and drank Stella Artois beer.
Was the admiration mutual between Jess and Dane? It seems like Simpson has been the media’s mini Jennifer Aniston lately, always being portrayed as the lonesome older sis after splitting with Tony Romo.
Well, we hear Dane was happy to have old flame Jess there and even sent over a round of drinks to her table. He then invited her backstage after the show, natch.
“After the first round of drinks, the waitress went over and said, ‘This round is on Dane,’” dishes our source. “Jessica seemed so excited. Once the show ended, Simpson was taken upstairs to the VIP area where she and Dane flirted and had another round of beers.
“The staff left, but Jessica, Dane and her four friends stayed in the VIP section after hours.”
But not everyone had a great evening.
“Jessica didn’t tip the waitress at all!” adds our sassy insider. “Dane paid for the first round of drinks and then the Laugh Factory comped the rest of the check…But she’s still supposed to leave a tip, and she didn’t leave anything.”
Maybe she was so focused on Dane she simply forgot, right?
[From E! News]
Honestly, I’m constantly surprised that Jessica Simpson is able to manage and function in society so well, considering the staggering breadth of her stupidity. Of course she forgot to tip the waitress. What’s shocking is that she doesn’t walk around naked covered in butter, just because she “forgot”.
As for Dane and Jessica, Agend Bedhead summed it up nicely: “It’s all very repetitive and inane and a little bit sad, like a Dane Cook comedy routine. But on the plus side, this job will get a lot easier if we can just start recycling material from 2007.” If Jessica is regressing, perhaps she’ll go back to Mayer after this?