Kim Kardashian is in “danger” because she boned Cristiano Ronaldo


Several days ago, it was widely reported that Kim Kardashian hooked up with Cristiano Ronaldo while she was in Spain. At the time, I didn’t really think anything of it, mostly because I was too entranced by Kim’s “tweaked” face, and because the reporting of the hookup made it sound like it was literally a one night stand. Not even – they f-cked during the day, and Ronaldo made Kim leave his house after a few hours. Anyway, most of the tabloids now have stories about Kim and her new “dangerous” romance. “Dangerous” because Ronaldo is something of an international douche it seems, and he’s going to break poor little Kim’s heart. Here’s Life & Style’s version, who put this nonsense on their damn cover:

Things between Kim Kardashian and new love interest, International soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo, may be getting steamy but some close to Kim hope the two don’t get too serious. Life & Style has learned Cristiano has an arrest record (charges were dropped) and a reputation for being a massive playboy with a taste for call girls and group sex. Cristiano has reportedly hired prostitutes for group-sex parties on several occasions. When asked how many women the soccer star has slept with, an ex-girlfriend of Cristiano’s laughingly guessed 80,000!

“Cristiano loves to party,” British journalist Debbie Manley, who has followed his scandalous personal life, tells Life & Style. “He’s gone out with paid female escorts. Like a lot of European men, he doesn’t see a problem with that, I don’t think.”

In the past, he’s been known to have friends text women on his behalf to arrange hotel trysts. After having fun, Cristiano leaves solo and asks the woman to wait an hour before she exits, Manley claims. The reason? He doesn’t want to risk getting photographed with her.

“Women throw themselves at his feet,” another insider tells Life & Style. “The last time Cristiano was in LA, I saw three different women trying to push their phone numbers on him at once! He’s a huge celebrity, and he’s gorgeous too.”

And while Cristiano is a fun, sexy rebound, he’s not boyfriend material.

“Cristiano is wild,” adds another insider. “I just don’t think he’ll ever settle down and be faithful to one woman.”

[From Life & Style]

Ugh. For goodness sake. Either Kim knew what she was getting into (likely) when she hooked up with him – ONCE, or she didn’t know but now does, and will likely never see him again. Why the need to feel so protective over Kim? She’s not a girl. She’s a grown woman, nearly 30 years old. If she wants to fly to Europe to get laid, let her.

CB and I were just talking about why this one hookup has garnered so much press. I theorized that it’s because tabloids are lazy, and writing about the Kardashians is so f-cking easy. CB replied: “Maybe that’s part of the reason why these people shot to fame – they’re easy on so many levels.” True fact.


Kim Kardashian Makes Instore Appearance

Life and Style cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

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44 Responses to “Kim Kardashian is in “danger” because she boned Cristiano Ronaldo”

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  1. DoMaJoReMc says:

    He’s ‘greasy bear’ gross.

    C’mon, Kim, you can do MUCH better!

  2. Lisa says:

    It’s like they’re trying to portray her as an innocent little girl. She’s a gold digging sl*t who will do anything and anyone to gain more fame and money. Sure she has her own money coming in, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind snatching a rich beau.

    Ugh this h0e and her whole family make me sick! They are beyond disgusting; full of gold diggers and famewhores!

  3. Celebitchy says:

    Thanks for quoting me as if I possess some great gossip wisdom! lol! Well Ronaldo is super easy too, so these two will be perfect for each other for about a week or two. I wonder how Kim feels about hooking up with Paris’ ex hookup.

  4. operaghost says:

    The Kardashians have a major ick factor for me. Like Ebola, they represent everything that is wrong out in Hollyweird. I wish they would all just go away. The sooner the better. Their 15 minutes were up looooong ago.

  5. bros says:

    they are truly gross. every week one of them is posing in a bikini talking about HOW I DID this or that. lost 5 lbs in 5 days, revenge body, lost the baby weight, blah blah. they are disgusting tramps, each and every one including that svengali mother other theirs. Im so sick of seeing them on magazines talking about their bodies-they arent even that hot, and it goes to show how worthless and untalented they all are because they LITERALLY have NOTHING else to be recognized for. I dont understand it! I can think of a hundred hotter people to be in their bikinis on top of the hundreds of others actually news worthy or who have talent. these kardashians are like cockroaches! they wont die! they keep coming back! they are everywhere, slithering around, infesting every damn magazine cover, and you know they would survive a year in the freezer and through every plague. complete cockroaches.

  6. JulieNewmar says:

    Something tells me that the Kardashian sisters have a natural built in immunity to STD’s. Her friends need not worry.

  7. Marjalane says:

    She’s a grease-licking cootie queen! And her face is taking on a Cher-like quality around the lips and cheeks which is pathetic because Cher is like 40+ years older than she is! Make the Kardashians go away! What is their attraction?!

  8. Beth says:

    Slightly off topic but how many times can Kourtney talk about her “bikini body”?

  9. TG says:

    I think Khourtney is the prettiest one of them all. And why did Kris name all her girls with a “K” that is just as hokey as those idiot Duggars.

  10. Iggles says:

    He is HOT! Know he’s a manwhore, but I don’t blame Kim if she did hook with him. Hopefully she protected herself because getting a STI is so not worth it..

  11. guesty says:

    she looks like a combo of cher & nicole from the pussycat dolls. she really needs to stop with the tweaking.

  12. bellaluna says:

    @ bros:

    Excellent rant! I am so completely sick of the over-saturation in Kartrashians. At least these twats are finally endorsing something they know about – Kotex! How appropriate. ;)

  13. QB says:

    When you have a sex tape and are know for taking your clothes of for any camera .

    Rule number 1 of dating Ronaldo : shut your pipe hole , he does not want peopl to know he is banging you . For example Gemma atkinson she was really public about their relationship , he denied their relationship.

    Rule number 2: Don’t tip off the papparazzi like Kim and her mom does because he will end up dumping your ass after the paps show one to many times to your secret relationship..

    Rule number 3 : Don’t ever think he is serious about the relationship because you will end up doing a tell all interview about how he told you he wanted to marry you but his evil mom got on the way.

    And the Final rules is:

    Never cross Ms.Dolores(his mom) or sisters because if his mom don’t like you then is over.

    Sadly for Kim her past puts her on Ms.Dolores shit list.

  14. sauvage says:

    “He’s gone out with paid female escorts. Like a lot of European men, he doesn’t see a problem with that”. I’m European, Austrian, for that matter, and hiring hookers is NOT common in my social circles.

  15. Erin says:

    Last picture = wax sculpture = EWW

  16. snowball says:

    If Kartrashian can survive getting peed on and bad plastic surgery, I think she can live through a few hours of quick Euro danger sex.

  17. Toe says:

    Yeah, the last picture you can clearly see she had something done to the lips/cheek area. Maybe a chin inplant? I dunno, she does not look natural.

  18. mel says:

    I used to like Kim’s natural look but now she looks alien.

  19. Bella says:

    ROFLOL on the article and the comments. Keep it coming ladies and gentlemen.

  20. ryan says:

    better then cristiano? all you haters, cristiano’s is great and there are all lies written in that magazine.

  21. Katyusha says:


    Haven’t you heard? Alliteration is the big thing among families with 2 or more kids.

    The Duggar’s next one will probably be Jesus, since they’re bound to run out of ‘J’ names soon.

  22. bubbs says:

    ugh 2 pieces of trash. at least he has a talent.

  23. ogechi says:

    Kim i want to be like u when i grow up. Jealousy is killing me. Having any man at your feet..U are too much!

  24. GatsbyGal says:

    Eww, that guy has a gummy smile. Not a good tooth-to-gum ratio. Gross.

    And that last photo of Kim there…is that really her, or a wax model? I honestly cannot tell and it’s scaring me.

  25. Tru says:

    I guess the public is forgetting about her being a lazy lay in a seedy sex tape huh??

    she’s so innocent, wow!
    again, at least he is a sportsman..
    and worth tons of money and he has a talent.

    the thought of them writing a relationship book cracks me up!!

  26. Novaraen says:

    That guy is so fugly and Kim is looking more and more feline every day. WTF is up with her extremely slanted eyes?

  27. hottathanholywatta says:

    these two are perfect for each other, they both love themselves sooo much. She has a gross sex tape with a washed up reality star and he hires hookers = match made in heaven. Maybe he can pay her for sex and then the transaction is complete

  28. Slymm27 says:

    Well, its her business isn’t it? She is a grown woman, and he is a grown man, neither of them is married, let them f**ck themselves all the way to the moon and back if they want to, its not your business. @Ogechi, seriously?

  29. thepickle says:

    Thought she was in danger because she is going to catch a disease, and here people are worried about her heart. As if she had one.

  30. Harmony says:

    what happened to her face?? :( i always thought if it werent for all that damn makeup, she was one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen! now it looks as if every part of her face has been bought :( shouldnt she have learned her lesson from her stepdad?

  31. maya says:

    Kim wears too much makeup. She looks like a totally different person without all that makeup. She has not have an plastic surgery, but she definitely has had botox and it is showing.

  32. tango says:

    KK’s outer appearance is a true reflection of her inner cattiness.
    Looks likes the plastic surgeon is only helping the true Kim be seen! LOL

  33. chi chi says:

    I hope he had all his shots and used a condom, she’s the skankiest skank from skanksville. Still, she’ll smile as she twits with her twat daily, what a waste of skin.

  34. Kim says:

    Shes only with him for the publicity and to try and make Reggie jealous. Not like she is going to marry this guy or he wont be done with her sonn anyhow. Does she copy EVERYTHING Paris does for attention?

  35. Kim says:

    They are both greasy media and fame whores so could be match made in heaven – haha!

  36. Anonymous says:

    This guy used to be Elisabetta Canalis’s boyfriend. How did you miss that little detail?

  37. mags says:

    i’m just glad to have some pictures of that sexy soccer boy to look at….they don’t make men like that in korea :(

  38. Spaniard says:

    “He’s gone out with paid female escorts. Like a lot of European men, he doesn’t see a problem with that” This is one of the most Stupid things I’ve read lately, Then Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Charlie Sheen, and a long etc may be all european

  39. weslyn says:

    eww he just looks like a greasy, rich man with a nice body…STD test anyone

  40. guess who says:

    Ha’ha well..ronaldo should feel honored.. First non purple crayon lol and kimmy should to! I mean.. She isn’t a prostitute ! BRAVO! Kim needs to give up for a while and STOP giving it up.

  41. eternalcanadian says:

    Oops, spoke too soon in previous post. I guess he’s had sex with 80,000 people, not 1,000. LMAO! :P

    “When asked how many women the soccer star has slept with, an ex-girlfriend of Cristiano’s laughingly guessed 80,000!”

    Yegads, that picture of him up there, Shell called, they want their oil back.

    I wonder if Kim is smarter than her sisters about birth control as they all seem to have some sort of ditz record regarding using them…

  42. Portuguese says:

    His only 25 years old.
    What to expect him to marry????
    His to enjoy his life, like her.
    Go Cristiano. Get the best of it