Holy crap. I saw this photo yesterday and just assumed this dude was just wearing one of those superhero-style muscle shirts that give average-to-plump people the illusion of defined abs. That’s not the case though and this Celebrity Brother Contestant had those fake six pack muscles surgically implanted under his skin. I’m not kidding and my mouth is hanging open as I type this. The guy is a 46 year-old Australian paparazzo and he’s chub with “six pack abs” thanks to a process known as “contouring.” I would assume his arm muscles are enhanced as well. I guess it’s better than a beer gut, but it still looks like one with some balloons under the skin. Here’s more on this story, from The Daily Mail.

It seems Amy Childs and Tara Reid aren’t the only surgically-enhanced celebrities in the CBB house.

Australian paparazzo Darryn Lyons has revealed that he had an appointment with a surgeon to create a set of abs.

Instead of sweating it out at the gym, the 46-year-old underwent the surgical procedure known as ‘contouring’, which gives the illusion of a washboard stomach.

The pink-haired housemate confided in co-star Paddy Doherty, 52, and bared his torso in the bedroom to reveal the transformation.

Talking about the procedure, Lyons said: ‘I had contouring done to my body.

‘I had to get really fit and lose a fair bit of weight. It takes away all the fat around it and actually lets your natural abs be there.

‘Basically it’s the male version of a boob job.’

An impressed Paddy called Lyons’ new look ‘the bees knees’, as photographer Lyons added: ‘I’m over the moon with it.’
Lyons’ torso has something of the superhero look about it and is quite obviously superficial. Indeed, he could almost be wearing padding.

[From The Daily Mail]

The Mail has more on the procedure, which involves liposuction to the stomach along with those implants. The Sun quotes a cosmetic surgeon who estimates that it cost around £6,000 or around $9,900 USD.

Overall the effect is totally ridiculous, but it probably fits this guy’s personality well. He says he loves it, after all.

On the checklist of drug addiction steps to recovery, there are many tough things you have to go through to get to the point where you achieve lasting sobriety. Blake Fielder-Civil’s story hasn’t been that different so far: trouble, jail, then in-patient rehab, followed by declaring the only way to truly save himself and his “soulmate” was for them to not be together. Seems logical, smart even, but this is Blake Incarcerated, logic and smarts don’t seem to last long with this one.

Apparently the step for Fielder-Civil that comes after “declare remorse and responsibility for ruining lives” is “sign up for a sensational reality TV show”. And what better reason for it than your crazy estranged wife loves junk TV and will be able to watch you anytime she wants?

Blake Fielder-Civil – who has been in rehab since leaving prison last month – reportedly thinks starring on reality series ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ would be the perfect way to prove his love for the troubled singer and show he has quit drugs.

A source said: “Blake has told me he’s been asked about doing ‘Celebrity Big Brother’. Amy is a big fan of reality TV and Blake knows she will be watching it.

“He thinks it is the perfect chance for him to show Amy he is off drugs and loves her to bits.”

[From Female First]

I have to admit, Amy wouldn’t be the only one who would watch that. I’d be all over it. I would like to see what makes a guy like that tick. More importantly, I’d like to see what kind of charisma he has that could so totally ensnare someone like Winehouse. I actually find myself really hoping he takes the Big Brother people up on their offer, if for no other reason than to know Blake is still somewhat Incarcerated. Watching is just a bonus.

Note by Celebitchy: It looks like this stint on Big Brother won’t happen as Blake is set to remain incarcerated for some time. He failed a drug test in rehab and is being sent back to prison, where he could remain until 2010. Blake broke out of rehab and rushed to Amy’s side in the hospital to tell her that he’d be going away again.

Blake is shown talking a walk outside his rehab on 11/12/08. Credit: WENN

In the story so Big they named a Brother after it … the international hubbub around this year’s Big Brother UK is moving onto its triumphalist tidying up phase. Taking the “Real World” template to new highs, or do I mean lows, the eventual race and class throwdown had an impact far in excess of the usual ratings bump. Prime Ministers, Columnists and Germaine Greers worldwide got in on the action … with a healthy dose of the sort of crazed over-coverage that the British tabloids have raised, or do I mean lowered, to an artform. A hysterical artform with highly amusing puns …

Quick recap for those of you who might have missed the teacup tempest :

The three celebrities accused of tormenting her on the show—Jade Goody, Jo O’Meara and Danielle Lloyd–have spent the past few days giving tearful interviews and explaining their side of the story.

Shetty was called a “dog” on the programme and a few of the housemates referred to her as “the Indian” saying “She should f*** off home.”

However, Shilpa is now looking at the brighter side of life. According to The Mirror she has been approached to write a book, appearing in UK films and a comedy show on BBC television.

The actress said: “I’d love to do a cookery show called: ‘If Shilpa Can. Anyone Can’” Turning to her love life, Shetty, who still lives with her parents, told the paper: “I’m single and I’m ready to mingle.”

Now Shetty … who sure can rhyme like a Cockney… and whose personal charm has a lot to do with the outpouring of public support is scheduled to go to the House of Commons, meet Tony Blair and the Queen. Ohhh and she won Big Brother as well …

She’s also in talks for books, TV, and movies etc. etc. etc. Satire and real life are dancing awfully close to each other these days – how are we gonna write funny about these things when they are proving that in some career boosting televisual way – that racism is the single girl’s new best friend?

Although for the full and final collapse you can’t really beat this quote from the producer Ronnie Screwala (not a made up name!)–

According to sources in London, the actor’s office has been getting offers for modelling assignments, films, and an endorsement of a Shilpa Shetty line of clothing and jewellery. “Shilpa has almost become an internationally recognised face against racism. Her celebrity status in the UK has certainly gone a lot higher and it will have an impact on her career here as well,” says producer Ronnie Screwala.

Backlash is of course mere minutes away … The Mirror is the first one off that news cycle block. It’s guarunteed to get up folks’ noses.

A TEAM of servants waits on Shilpa at home in Mumbai – including a hairdresser, a makeup artist, a secretary, a personal trainer, chauffeurs and a “spot boy” who tends to her every need.

She said: “My spot boy is my help wherever I am. He runs errands, makes tea for me and serves my guests. And he’d hold an umbrella for me if it got too sunny.

“A servant wakes me up in the morning and delivers my breakfast, and says something like: ‘Madam, it’s time to wake.’