When Enrique Iglesias sings “Tonight I’m f’ing you,” maybe he should add “and you’re going to be disappointed.” (Although I heard yesterday from Sue Johanson that size doesn’t matter. I think she means statistically, because on either extreme end of the scale it’s got to be difficult.) Enrique, who is engaged to gorgeous tennis vixen Anna Kournikova (or at least he was at one point, I can’t figure out the state of their relationship, but here are some cute pictures of them together in February), went on a bizarre tangent during a show in Australia. He talked about his small d*ck and about losing his virginity. He also claimed he lasts less than 10 minutes during sex. Disappointed indeed.

The Spanish singer stunned gig-goers by going into excruciating details about his shortcomings in the trouser department.

Onlookers were left baffled by his odd behaviour at the gig in Melbourne, Australia, on Tuesday night — which also included an episode where he discussed losing his virginity.

During the bizarre 20-minute interlude he declared: “I have the smallest penis in the world. I’m serious.”

He began the unexpected behaviour by inviting three men from the audience to join him on stage.

The foursome perched on a bench from where the conversation took an X-rated turn.

He quizzed his companions on the age they first had sex.

He initially claimed he was a virgin until 25 — preferring not to pay for prostitutes as he claimed his pals did.

He said: “I grew up with a lot of my friends and all of them lost their virginity with hookers, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

“They had to pay for it. I wanted to wait for the right girl so I waited until I was 25.”

But, within moments he changed his story and claimed he was in fact 17-and-a-half when he slept with his first woman, saying: “I was nervous as s*** the first time.

“Usually the first time is not the best. Let me be honest, I was 17-and-a-half, I was so nervous. It lasted ten seconds.”

One of his companions then claimed he lasted ten minutes the first time. Iglesias replied: “Really? I don’t even last eight minutes now.”

The audience member said the singer’s “good looks” would be great for getting ladies.

Iglesias then asked: “What does Spanish good looks have to do with the size of your penis? Maybe I have the Spanish looks but I have the smallest penis in the world. I’m serious.”

The singer then asked his companions to lift their shirts so they could all compare chests.

During the bizarre chat the four knocked back shots of whisky.

Iglesias told the crowd that he was on antibiotics and should not have been mixing them with alcohol.

[From The Sun]

Yes, the dude was drunk and talking smack. The Sun has a video so it’s not like they made it up or gleaned it from someone’s phone messages. Doesn’t Howard Stern always say this? Then he had a contest or something and a bunch of poor guys proved him wrong. Well, I’d rather have sex with a guy who is poorly endowed than with this dude. A teeny one may be disappointing but you can handle it without a problem. Especially when it’s attached to a dude as beautiful as that.

Photos are from April and June. He definitely has a performance uniform Credit: WENN.com

Whenever I hear the name Enrique Iglesias I get that “Tonight I’m f’ing you” song stuck in my head on a loop and picture greasy guys like The Situation and Pauley D picking up women with big hair at a club. (Inglesias does say “here’s the Situation,” so the guy inevitably comes to mind.) So I don’t really think of Enrique Iglesias as an “artist” or someone who wouldn’t benefit from hitching his name to a bigger star. He seems to think he can do fine on his own, though, and made a statement last night that the joint tour that Britney Spears just announced with him wasn’t happening.

Update: Enrique just released this statement, confirming he WON’T be touring with Britney.

“Unfortunately, Enrique Iglesias and Britney Spears will not be touring together,” his rep said. “Despite initial reports based on formal discussions of the possible run, Enrique will continue on his solo tour in support of his new album EUPHORIA. Enrique has great respect for Britney and is a longtime fan of her work. He is very sorry for the confusion this might have caused to anyone.”

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The Britney Spears and Enrique Iglesias tour is over even before it began, after the hunky star pulled out just hours after they announced the joint venture, RadarOnline.com has learned.

The tour was made public on Tuesday, moments before Spears shook her stuff for a much talked about performance on Good Morning America.

But it appears that the Spanish hunk no longer wants to pair up with the pop princess and has since cancelled.

Live Nation is promoting the show and sent out a media advisory stating: “Enrique Iglesias is no longer on this tour.”

No further explanation was given, but Billboard is reporting that he ducked out because he doesn’t want to be an opening act for anyone.

“Plans called for Iglesias, who is currently on tour in Europe, to be much more than a standard opening act; he was slated to carry full production on the Spears tour,” Billboard reported. “While two such high-profile artists with top-shelf production values was sure to be attractive to fans, such an endeavor is also very expensive to produce.”

[From Radar Online]

So what happened? Did Enrique see the hilariously bad “performance” that Britney gave on Good Morning America? She was kind of teetering around the stage, moving her arms and lip syncing but that’s what she did on her entire Circus tour from what I remember so it isn’t new. He probably realized he was better off not being associated with Britney or relying on her in any way. I bet his people cooked up that joint tour idea and he was on board with it until he saw her perform and realized what he was getting into. It’s possible that it was some business decision as they’re claiming, but that seems like a convenient excuse to me.

TMZ is reporting that Enrique didn’t want to be opening act for anyone, but I bet he didn’t want to be second biller to Britney.

Photos are of Britney performing last night on Jimmy Kimmel credit: Fame and of Enrique performing on 3/25 in London and 3/28 in Holland. Credit: WENN.com

Enrique Iglesias has admitted that he is/was married to Anna Kournikova, but he doesn’t seem too sure about how his relationship is going. The two dated for five years, splitting in May 2007.

Speaking exclusively to us at his Malta gig for MTV, he said: “Oh I’m not married, no. I mean I was married. I was married, ­seriously. I was married a year ago to Anna and I don’t know what ­happened.

“We’re not married any more but we are kind of still in contact.”

Daily Star

I know that the Daily Star is not the most reputable of sources, but this seems to be a very strange thing to make up a year after the couple split, which makes me think it could be true. What does ‘still in contact’ mean? Are they still in contact through divorce lawyers? Are they already divorced? Was it a cheesy fake wedding in the Bahamas? Or is Anna Kournikova a douche, as US tennis player Justin Gimelstob claims.

He branded Kournikova, whom he trained as a junior, a “bitch”.

“I have no attraction to her because she’s such a douche,” he said. “I really have no interest in her . . . I wouldn’t mind having my younger brother nail her and then reap the benefits of that. She has a great body but her face is a five.”

London Times

That Justin seems like a top notch fellow.

In the past Enrique Iglesias has claimed he has a small penis, although he later tried to say it was a joke.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias are shown at Shaquille O’Neal’s Super 60 party on February 3, 2007. She was wearing two bands on her left ring finger at the time.

Lock up any fans of easy listening crooners – Enrique Iglesias says he’s easy and ready for lust.

He said: “Sex and love are so different that, of course, you don’t have to be in love with a woman to sleep with her but it’s amazing when you get them both together. I’d say I’ve been in love about 10 times in my life, although those feelings usually turned out to be lust.

“I’ve had my heart broken a few times, but really, I’ve only been in love once. Love is lust that lasts and develops into trust and friendship.”

While you don’t have to get Enrique to fall in love with you before he’ll bed you, he says he isn’t planning on emulating his father Julio Iglesias’s legendary sexual past. Which is probably good news for his girlfriend of five years Anna Kournikova.

He said: “I wouldn’t say I’ve learnt anything about women from my father, although I did decide that sleeping with 3,000 women was not the way I wanted to live my life.

“Anyway, I think a lot of his Lothario image was an act and I don’t know whether he was any happier than I am now.”

New Zealand Herald

Now, if you do happen to answer to the call of lust with young Iglesias, or even the senior Iglesias, I can tell you what he’ll be wearing: a red g-string. Apparently this is his private (or not so private) way of celebrating the festive season. Some of us just put up a tree and drink egg nog, and avoid the festive themed clothing altogether. Still, I’d rather have a pair of red knickers then wear a reindeer t-shirt anytime.

It seems to be far more acceptable for a man to say he doesn’t need to be in love to have sex, while a woman seems more likely to be branded a slut. Julio Igelsias seems to have a made a career from being a ladies man, but you very rarely hear a woman claim sexual prowess in numbers. Probably because we all know it’s not how often you do it, but how well.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Enrique Iglesias is shown on 6/19/07 at MTV’s TRL.