A Dutch priest used his home phone to call in a bomb threat for a Madonna concert in Amsterdam and was easily caught. Police realized right away that the threat was a hoax and Madonna got more publicity for her tired gimmick making fun of the old Christian boys’ network.

Madonna gets rich off the same schtick for 20 years, and these dumb old priests just play into her hands.

Here she is outside the gym in one of her gorgeous tracksuits and baseball hats. Her husband, the hapless Guy Richie, is also shown after working out. [via]

I was going to add an “h” to the title, but figured everyone already knew that she was a whiner. People know she’s a wino too, as Gwyneth was spotted no less than two times imbibing in public during the late stages of her pregnancy with little Mortimer Moses. She now says she enjoys a little quiet time in her garden at night with a glass of Pinot Noir, the stuff made famous by the movie “Sideways”. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I’m just trying to spin it into something more controversial because there’s not a lot of news about Gwyneth, so don’t flame me:

Gwyneth was also spotted out taking surfing lessons of all things while on the beach in Cornwall near her in-laws place:

Here she is outside her North London gym. A commentor on Lime-Light, where I found the pictures, notes that it’s the same gym Madonna goes to. Gwyneth looks great, her hair is gorgeous and there’s nothing wrong with a little wine. Hell I only have one kid and I enjoy imbibing in, uh, moderation.

The MTV Video Music Awards are tomorrow, but new mommy Gwen Stefani won’t be there. She’s said to be pissed at her poor treatment at last year’s show, when Kelly Clarkson scooped up all the awards and the camera kept panning in on Stefani’s dissapointed face. Instead of sucking it up and showing up for her career, she’s just staying home:

Aw, poor Gwen. It must suck to be a best selling recording artist charging exhorbitant amounts for clothing designs ripped off from hipper cultures and manufactured by sweatshop labor. If you can’t get a little award once in a while, why bother showing up?

Here’s Gwen taking a jog in NY with a trainer yesterday.

Images removed by request.

Update: Images restored, courtesy of Splash News Online.

When I reported on the scathing letter Lohan received from the production studio head of her latest film, I said, “Lohan has become a parody of herself and will have a steady career of increasingly more embarassing endorsements if she doesn’t slow down and focus on her acting. Oh wait - she can sing too, right?”

She can sing, but her music career has fallen prey to her partying ways, too. The British arm of her record label has given her the boot because her single tanked in the UK. Lindsay’s blamed for the failure since she couldn’t be bothered to go to England for promotion:

Oops Lindsay, better concentrate on your career instead of how good you look to the paparrazi.

Here is Lindsay kick-boxing on the beach this weekend. Her trainer looks perplexed and a bit scared. That little firecracker might just hurt him if he’s not careful.

Pictures [via]

Matthew McConaughey was photographed drunk, high, or a bit of both on the fourth of July weekend in Costa Rica. This sort of contradicts a British report that showed Matt with a fat stomach and said he held an Independence Day party at his Malibu mansion. Both might be true and Matt may have been in Costa Rica on the weekend and back in time to throw the party on Tuesday. He doesn’t look fat, though:

We all know he loves to party and as long as he’s not pulling down Christmas trees or assaulting anyone it seems quite harmless.

Matt’s hangover must not have lasted long. He was biking in the Malibu hills with Lance Armstrong and Jake Gyllenhaal on Wednesday, July 5th.

Here is Matt on the weekend in question and riding his bike a few days later with Lance and Jake. [via]

Jake Gyllenhaal and his costar weak Heath Ledger won the MTV Movie award for “Best Kiss” for their on-screen guy on guy snog in “Brokeback Mountain.” Gyllenhaal joked during his acceptance speech that he told Ledger at the time that if they didn’t win the award it wouldn’t have been worth it. Gyllenhaal was a good sport and attended the ceremony, while Ledger stayed at home cowering from the paparrazi.

Gyllenhaal was recently linked with Natalie Portman after he was said to be dating an Olympic snowboarder. We just don’t see it happening - either one.

Ryan Phillippe and his powerful sperm are going to star in the Iraq War drama “Stop-Loss” headed by “Boys Don’t Cry” director Kimberly Pierce. Phillippe will play a soldier who refuses to return to Iraq after being called back to battle unfairly. This is a big opportunity for Phillippe and should help his faltering Hollywood career.

We needed a filmsy excuse to publish these pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Phillippe working out with the same trainer. If only they were high resolution and we could zoom in the pics of Phillippe wiping his sweaty face with the bottom of his shirt.

(We are totally ripping off The Bastardly’s favorite expression in that headline.)

Pictures [via]

Britney Spears was photographed working out on Monday! She was even wearing makeup. This is good news for Britney. She’s learning to drive stick, has a new car and a new male nanny and may be divorcing Kevin finally. Now that she’s working out you can be sure that she’s getting out of the rut she’s been in since hurting her ankle in 2004 and shacking up with K-Fed.

Britney is said to be planning to design her own line of baby clothes a la Gwen Stefani. She’s reportedly bored and doodling sketches for an infant fashion line aimed at high-end boutiques:

Britney has terrible fashion taste, but people are going to market and buy that crap if this story is true. My son has several outfits that people have bought him with ears and tails on them. It’s not like you can humiliate a baby by dressing him in dumb clothing. Babies are just about the only demographic that Britney can safely design for.

Here she is at the gym. Thanks to breatheheavy.com for these photos, which were supposedly taken two days ago on June 5th.

In a charity auction for The Prince’s Trust, a single yoga lesson with Gwyneth Paltrow went for £30,000, nearly $56,000 USD:

[via]

We don’t like Gwyneth much because she seems quite snotty, but reader Millie points out that she is super-nice to a friend of hers. Angelika also bashed us for bitching about Gwyneth’s night out so soon after her second child was born.

Regardless it’s nice that she’s donating her time to a worthy cause. Gwyneth’s one hour of time is worth much more than $56,000. She made $3.6 million for a three-minute cameo in the film Infamous, or $1.2 million per minute.

It came out about two weeks ago that Katie Holmes was following the Buff Brides program to get back in shape. It was said that she met personally with Sue Fleming, the owner of Buff Brides. Sue is a close friend of the family, and we reported that it was not true that Katie had met with her.

Now everyone is up in arms because Tom Cruise is supposedly overseeing Katie’s shape-up plan, but they’re basing that on quotes from Sue Fleming which are false.

Several newspapers are running the same story in which Buff Brides fitness guru Sue Fleming says that Tom managed Katie’s fitness program and that he brought her to tears by saying that he wanted her to be a beautiful bride. We e-mailed with Sue today, and she assured us that she did not say the following:

Maybe another trainer said this, but Sue Fleming did not. Sue’s never even met with Katie Holmes, and these quotes are definitely not from her.

Meanwhile Katie’s dad is said to be quite pissed that Katie is exercising so much, but given the fact that the quotes from Sue Fleming are totally fabricated, it sounds like this is made up too:

Those quotes from Katie’s dad sound fake too, don’t they? Who says things like “I simply can’t go along with what is happening?” In fact this whole story stinks of b.s., but it’s getting carried by plenty of newspapers. People want to believe that Tom is so controlling that he’s telling Katie exactly how to work out.

My aunt is best friends with Sue Fleming, the personal trainer and founder of Buff Brides. Sue has written three books to help brides-to-be and moms shape up: “Buff Brides,” “Buff Moms to Be,” and “Buff Moms.”

That’s why I got all excited when I read in yesterday’s The Sun that Katie Holmes had hired “a personal trainer from BuffBrides.com” to help her get in quick shape for her wedding ceremony. Here’s what The Sun wrote:

There are no lists of personal trainers on Buff Brides.com, so it sounds like Katie has hired Sue Fleming, the owner, herself.

TMZ then runs with this story, stating flat out that Katie has met with Sue:

While Katie may be using the BuffBrides method with her own trainer, she has not met personally with Sue Fleming, and TMZ is mistaken. It seems like they could have simply asked Sue about it if they were able to get her on the phone.

BuffBrides and its companion books are excellent, easy-to-follow programs that you can do at home to get in shape quickly. Katie is sure to be looking great for her summer wedding with Tom Cruise if she faithfully follows the program. You can get the books from Amazon.