Tiger Woods has a new 22 year-old girlfriend that’s the daughter of one of his agents or something. I was going to report about this when I saw that it was one of the top stories on Huffpo, but I questioned whether anyone would really care. The guy is a serial cheater who is trying to make some sort of long-overdue weak media tour after that huge scandal last year, and maybe part of that is rolling out a new girlfriend. She’s really young and probably impressionable, and Tiger needs to seem like he didn’t go back to immediately banging hookers and strippers. It turns out that this girl’s dad lives right next to Tiger in Windemere, Florida, and that when she was a little girl she used to draw him good luck pictures. Ew. Tiger is currently 35, so 35 and 22 isn’t that big of an age difference, but if he knew her as a little girl it seems creepy.

From childhood fan to girlfriend! Tiger Woods’ new squeeze, 22 year-old grad student Alyse Lahti Johnston, used to make crayon drawings for Woods, 35, when she was a child, a friend tells Hot Stuff [US Weekly]. Johnston – whose stepdad lives next door to Woods in Windemere, Florida (and serves as an executive at the pro golfer’s sports management company, IMG) “would draw good luck pictures for Tiger before his tournaments,” her pal Stephen Burack tells Hot Stuff… “They had photos in their house of their family with Tiger and other athletes. But Alyse never said she was interested in him!” Things turned romantic recently, adds another pal: “They started dating around New Year’s Eve after seeing each other at one of her dad’s functions.”

[From US Weekly, print edition, April 4, 2011]

After I read that the girl was Tiger’s neighbor I remembered a story in the National Enquirer that had a full interview with a neighbor girl who was a college student when Tiger seduced her. (And cheated on his then wife Elin, natch.) The news came out well after the dozen plus mistresses crawled out of the woodwork so it didn’t get a lot of press. The thing is, this was a different neighbor’s daughter coed, named Raychel Coudriet. The Enquirer reported that she was a neighbor in Orlando, FL not Windemere. At least he waited until they were of age, right?

It’s already sort-of known that Paris Hilton is a racist. (I say sort-of because a lot of people have forgotten it.) In one of the videos unearthed by that “Paris Exposed” site in 2007, Paris is shown dancing at a party or club with her sister, Nicky, and making an awkward reference to their skills by saying “we’re like two n-words.” (You can watch the video here.) On that tape, she also calls a guy the anti-gay f word and calls some girl she doesn’t like a “f’cking hoodlum whore, broke, poor bitch from like Compton. Public school bitch.” It’s dumb, racist and bigoted, but I guess we can’t expect much more from this girl. A new book has come out by Neil Strauss dishing on some of the things he’s witnessed interviewing the rich and famous. He details an interview with Paris Hilton in 1999, when she was just 18 and bragged about getting a boob job at 14 (but supposedly being made to take them out by her mom) and how she rejected a hook up with Vin Diesel because she thought he was black. She was of age, but Vin Diesel is 13 years older than she is and would have been 31 at the time.

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
Which guy?
HILTON (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.

[From LA Weekly via The Superficial]

I’m sure Diesel didn’t want to catch the herp either, but maybe Paris hadn’t contracted it at that point. (Doubtful.) So not only is she a racist fool, she’s also dumb enough to turn down a hook up with Vin Diesel because he looks possibly black. It boggles the mind that someone could be that bigoted. Chances are that most of her family members are raging racists too. Dumb bitch had to learn it somewhere.

Paris is shown on 3/1, and on 3/18/11 with her high BFF, Brooke Mueller. She’s not looking pregnant anymore, thank God. Credit: WENN.com. Vin Diesel is shown on 11/4/10 in Rio. Credit: Fame Pictures

I read a little something about this earlier this week, and oddly enough, it didn’t depress me. Usually when I hear about Gerard Butler rubbing his glorious stank on some girl, I get out my rage shank and count to ten. Why am I not depressed about this one? Because allegedly, Gerard was rubbing on model Selita Ebanks. Selita is his type – leggy, slender, dark. And it sounds like if there’s something there, it’s not much:

Gerard Butler had model Selita Ebanks on his [arm] at Madonna’s Oscars afterparty on Feb. 27.

“They’ve been hooking up,” an insider tells us. “But it’s nothing serious.”

[FromLife & Style, print edition, March 21, 2011]

Selita was last rumored to be dating Kanye West, although I haven’t seen or heard anything about Kanye and Selita together recently, so maybe that fizzled too. However, Gerard’s rep went to Gossip Cop and denied it, saying that the rumors of a hookup are completely “not true.” Gerard really is trying to make sure I continue to love him, isn’t he? That’s what this is all about – he’s making sure that I’m not too overcome with Fassbender lust, and that I always remember that he’s saving himself for me. Ha… I couldn’t even type that without laughing!

Oh, and for all of you saying that Gerard is going to be Jessica Biel’s new boyfriend… ah, no. They are scheduled to work together on that movie where she plays a soccer mom and he plays a soccer coach, but that doesn’t mean he’ll bone her. He really, truly has a type, and Biel isn’t it. Selita is, though. I’ll buy Gerry with Selita before I would ever buy him with Biel.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

When a celebrity’s boyfriend or girlfriend gets a “five things you didn’t know about” or a “get to know” segment in People, you can bet it’s been signed off on or even planted by their publicist. In Ryan Reynold’s case we’ve been hearing plenty about his estranged wife Scarlett Johansson’s strange relationship with king curmudgeon Sean Penn, so it’s time for him to say “see, I’m dating a hot German model!” He is, and his people want us to know that she’s more than just a pretty young thing:

Two months after they announced their split after more than two years of marriage, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson are both moving on – but with very different types of people.

Johansson has been spending time with Hollywood heavyweight and activist Sean Penn, while Reynolds has been spotted getting cozy with a more low-profile lady, model Agnes Fischer.

Reynolds, 35, and Fischer were recently seen together in South Africa, where he’s filming Safe House. And while Fischer is relatively unknown, the size-six German model has an impressive resumé. Here are 5 things to know about her.

She’s Diverse
The 5’8″ blonde has been in ads for Bebe, Reebok, Sure deodorant and Adidas sportswear. She also graced the cover of Shape magazine in 2007, the U.K.’s Health & Fitness magazine the following year, and has appeared on several covers of South Africa’s Runner’s World magazine.

She’s Outdoorsy
Fischer stays in tip-top shape by participating many sports. “I do running, cycling (race & mountain bike), scuba-diving, climbing, snowboarding, skiing, inline-skating, yoga, aerobics,” she writes on her Web site.

She’s Been Banned by MTV
Reynolds isn’t the first celebrity to brush elbows with Fischer. Last year, the model appeared in 30 Seconds to Mars’s 13-minute bondage-themed music video for “Hurricane,” which was banned by MTV in December for being too explicit. In the video, Fischer stabs, handcuffs and kisses Shannon Leto, brother of the band’s lead singer Jared Leto.

She’s a Small-Town Girl
The beauty often works winters as a model in South Africa – where she was spotted with Reynolds – but Fischer is German, born in the small Bavarian town of Furth im Wald (population only 9,045).

She’s a Pisces
Fischer reportedly turns 25 this week, on Friday, March 11.

[From People]

I was initially confusing this blonde short-haired German model Agnes with that very tall blonde short-haired British model Agyness Deyn. Obviously they’re different Agneseses.

See – Ryan Reynolds has a girlfriend too, he’s not pining for Scarlett. The more he tries to convince us the more it looks like he is. Can you imagine if you went through a public divorce like this and saw photos of your ex on vacation with someone else? Even if you were glad to be rid of them it might sting. You’d want to get a new partner and parade them around too, so I can’t blame Reynolds for this Poor rejected Ryan Reynolds has to console himself in the arms of a hot 25 year-old German model. Do you think he’s going to jump right back into another long term relationship? I do.

This might be the one for Ryan too. She looks a lot like him, doesn’t she? We’re attracted to people who look like us, and there’s even a new website coming out that helps match users with people who share the most facial characteristics.

Some photos credit: PRPhotos and WENN.com

Ashlee Simpson has been linked with a few guys since the news of her seemingly shocking split (to those who care) with Pete Wentz. She’s been rumored to be hooking up with heavy tatted drummer Travis Barker, which would be a dumb move considering Barker’s history of fighting and reuniting with his children’s mother, Shanna Moakler. Ashlee also tweeted a photo of herself out to dinner with the former guitarist for her band, Ray Brady, right before she filed for divorce. (They were there with Ashlee’s friend, stylist Natalie Saidi.) And she’s reportedly been hanging out and partying with some pro skaters. Now Ashlee has been linked with yet another guy, a rocker friend of Pete’s named Craig Owens who is signed to Pete’s record label. They were photographed together and Star Magazine claims that Ashlee somehow seduced this guy, as if guys need seducing usually. Here are two reports on this, from Star and In Touch via Jezebel’s tabloid roundup.

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has been seeing Craig Owens from the band D.R.U.G.S., which just released its first album on — DUN DUN DUN — Pete Wentz’s record label. The mag has three pix of Ashlee and Craig hanging out together, and apparently they were seen holding hands at the Beverly Center Mall, and they even kissed on the lips. (There’s a lot of teenage behavior in the tabloids this week.) But Ash & Owen better watch out. A family “friend” says Ashlee’s dad Joe is “looking for a professional athlete for his little girl to date.” – In Touch as told by Jezebel

Ashlee Simpson is having a “revenge romance” with Craig Owens, a longtime friend of Pete Wentz. “She played the part of the temptress, getting Craig to ignore his friendship with Pete,” says a source. “She loves that it worked.” Craig has been Tweeting subtle messages like, “When you wake up to messages from someone special… knowing you’ll look at them over & over throughout the day… Smiling really big each time” and “the faith I have in us will keep you near.” There’s a chance that these are song lyrics, but whatever. “Ashlee’s determined to move on first,” the source says. “She won’t tolerate being seen as ‘the poor ex-wife who got dumped. It’s just not an option.” In Touch as told by Jezebel

[From Star and In Touch via Jezebel]

Star is really phoning it in lately. They have a nice twist on this by claiming that Ashlee somehow tempted the dude, but from most all accounts Ashlee is the one who dumped Pete, not the other way around. She’s not seen as “the poor ex wife who got dumped,” and Pete was supposedly begging her to reconsider. These two were 24 and 29 when they got married. Ashlee is just 26 now and she’s playing the field. She may be dating one of Pete’s friends, but it’s probably just because the guy is convenient and her type, and not necessarily because she wants to hurt her ex. Pete is probably pissed off about it though.

Photo of Ashlee and Pete is from 10/18/10, Credit: PRPhotos. Photo of Ashlee alone is from 11/2/10. Credit: WENN.com. Owen is shown performing (color photo) on 8/23/09. Credit: WENN.com. Other photos are from his Facebook page.

Say what you will about smack-talking funny girl Kathy Griffin, she’s getting the last laugh after her public feud with mama bear Sarah Palin. Kathy, 50, is probably boning the guy we all wish our guys looked smelled like, Old Spice hottie Isaiah Mustafa, 37. We’ve heard rumors that these two are hitting it, and now Isaiah tells US he thinks Kathy is “amazing” and “a force of nature” but adds that he’s single. Maybe he’s contractually obligated to say that by Old Spice so we can still fantasize about him lathering up in our shower while showering us with diamonds.

Isaiah Mustafa — a.k.a. the Old Spice Guy — was coy with UsMagazine.com on Monday about his rumored romance with comedienne Kathy Griffin.

“I think she is amazing!” Mustafa, 37, told Us at Cosmopolitan mag’s Fun Fearless Males of 2011 bash in NYC.

“I think she’s a force of nature. And she’s on Broadway, so if you get a chance, go check her out!”

“But,” Mustafa insisted, “I just happen to be a single man!”

Still, a source told Us last month that Mustafa and Griffin, 50, “are not boyfriend/girlfriend, but they are definitely spending time together and getting to know each other.” The duo began seeing each other several months ago, and were caught canoodling between takes on the set of Glee Feb. 23.)

On Mustafa’s list of requirements in a woman? “I’m looking for someone who’s respectful of my needs because I’m always respectful of the lady’s needs, and that’s pretty much the bottom line.”

He added: “I like brunettes. I like red-heads or gingers. I like blonds!”

The sexy rising star did fess up to bizarre requests from fans of his hit commercials — who’ve demanded he take his “shirt off, strap on a saddle, all sorts of stuff!”

[From US Weekly]

See, he’s acting like he’s not with Kathy and likes all kinds of women so that we’ll continue to imagine him taking us to that thing we love and rubbing our feet afterwards. It’s more of a fantasy for me to think that Kathy scored him, though. It means that there are hunks who don’t take themselves seriously who go for older women who make them laugh. If only he would admit to it. At least he said a bunch of nice things about her. And if they aren’t anything more than friends, the way he handled that question was so gracious.

Mustafa is shown on 3/7, 2/25/11 and 8/21/10. Credit: WENN.com

This week’s Star Magazine has a quick blurb about Ashlee Simpson and Travis Barker hooking up now that Ashlee is single, having abruptly dumped her husband of nearly three years, Pete Wentz. For Ashlee’s sake I hope this isn’t true, but she’s no prize either:

After splitting from Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson, 26, is spending time with another tattooed rocker: Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, 35, who is Pete’s pal. Says an insider: “She’s keeping it quiet because she’s afraid Pete will be p*ssed.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, March 14, 2011]

I could have sworn Travis Barker was in his 40s, but that’s just due to how rough he looks. Ashlee has horrible taste in men. Travis makes Pete Wentz seem like a decent choice for a husband.

Ashlee hasn’t tweeted much since she filed for divorce. She only only posted once in the past four weeks and and it was an obvious promotional tweet. Whatever is going on with her, I hope that she didn’t leave Pete for Travis Barker. Reports varied after Pete and Ashlee broke up, with some outlets claiming Ashlee wanted to be single and party and others saying that Pete was a pill addict who spent a lot of time away from home. Both of those accounts are probably true.

Last Fall, Ashlee confirmed that she’s working on a new album and plans to put out a fashion line. She should ask her sister Jessica to help her with that. Jessica might not be the brightest bulb, but she knows how to stick her name on stuff and make money.

Ashlee Simpson is shown on 11/2/10. Travis Barker is shown on 2/15/11. Credit: WENN.com

Here’s Travis Barker at work on a music video (with The Game, Rick Ross and Swizz Beatz) on 2/19/11. Ashlee is shown out with Bronx on 2/25/11. credit: Fame

Here’s a story in In Touch that suggests that Sandra Bullock is on the prowl and is reaching out to her old flame, the highly hittable Ryan Gosling. The last we heard of Sandra’s love life, she was enjoying some friends with benefits sex with newly single Ryan Reynolds. (In my fantasies, don’t ruin it for me.) Maybe she accidentally confused the Ryans in her contact list on her phone, sexted the other Ryan, got a positive response and decided to follow up on it. Ryan Gosling is of course said to be dating Olivia Wilde, but she’s all over him and you know Sandra is playing it cool like she couldn’t care less. Men love that.

According to a friend, Sandra wants to rekindle a romance with old flame Ryan Gosling – and has been secretly taking steps toward making that happen.

“She carries a torch for Ryan, and now they’re both available, so she’s made contact with him,” the friend reveals. “They’re both open to getting back together.”

Ryan, 30, and Sandra, 46, first met on the set of Murder by Numbers back in 2001, where they clicked instantly, despite their 16-year age difference. They embarked on a steamy romance – but because of Sandra’s reservations, the relationship ended before it was able to run its course. “He was just too young at the time,” the friend explains. But Sandra now feels she may have made a mistake…

Now she wants Ryan to know that she’s ready to give him another chance.

And it seems he’s very interested in the offer. The friend says that he and Sandra have spoken on the phone and exchanged flirty text messages – and so far, things have been looking good. “They made plans to get together,” the friend shares.

[From In Touch, print edition, March 14, 2011]

Yes, this is In Touch, it’s probably completely made up, but how interesting would this be if it were true? Ryan was just 20 in 2001 when he was working with Sandra (his birthday is at the end of the year) and she was 37. That’s a much bigger maturity difference than 30 and 46 (Sandra’s birthday is in July.) Now they have a chance to finish what they started and see if they really are meant to be together. Only Ryan has been playing the field lately, dating Olivia Wilde, Blake Lively and maybe even hooking up with Charlize Theron last summer. (There are surely plenty of other women we haven’t heard about.) Will he continue to settle for low hanging fruit like Olivia “I used to be a princess” Wilde or will he take the challenge, man up and go for more worldly Sandra? Maybe it’s Sandra who should rethink her dating choices though, not Ryan. She could do better, you know? I used to like Ryan but he’s giving off a douche vibe lately. It doesn’t help that he’s dressing like Hugh Hefner.*

*(Someone pointed that out in the comments, I didn’t come up with it.) Photos credit: WENN

I think Lainey might have been the first outlet to report this, but maybe it was E! News. Eh. In any case, Ryan Gosling and Olivia Wilde are boning. In Cincinnati. Well, that was fast, wasn’t it? Back before Olivia and her Italian Prince Husband officially split up, Olivia was rumored to be super-cuddly with Ryan Gosling back at some post-Oscar party. After that, Olivia announced her split from Prince WhatsIt, and then she stayed single for all of two seconds. She flew into Cincinnati, where Gosling is filming The Ides of March with George Clooney – and as a “date” Ryan took her to the Aquarium. There’s even video – but I can’t embed it. You can see it here, just start watching around the 12 minute mark.

It appears that Olivia Wilde is doing just fine since announcing her split from royal hubby Tao Ruspoli earlier this month. The gorgeous Tron: Legacy star was seen out on what appears to be a date with the equally gorgeous Ryan Gosling. The two were spotted at a Cincinnati aquarium recently and their coziness was caught on tape!

Ryan is in town filming The Ides of March with George Clooney and Olivia…well…she doesn’t have a reason!

Except to visit her new beau, perhaps?

Ry and Wilde were first seen flirting up a storm at Relativity Media and Weinstein’s Golden Globes afterparty at the Beverly Hilton last month.

“They talked for a while inside the show during commercial breaks. Then when Olivia saw [Ryan] at the afterparty she went right up to his table,” a source at the bash tells us. “They were talking and laughing together for a long time. They looked cute!”

Wilde’s rep confirmed to E! News on Feb. 8 that Olivia and Tao decided to separate after eight years of marriage and that they had been living apart for a while. Wonder if the Globes—where Olivia went solo—was the start of this possible romance?

We’ve reached out to Wilde and Gosling’s reps but have yet to hear back.

[From E! News]

Here are my new rules for The Gosdong: No Bolt-Ons, No Bangs Trauma, and No More Making Her Fly To You. He pulled this same junk with Blake Lively – she had to follow him around like she was grateful for The Gosdong. I mean, I’m sure it’s worth it, but it’s starting to make Ryan look bad. He’s a slut, and he makes his women beg for it and travel for it! It’s like he’s turning into the dude version of Kate Hudson.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

A few weeks ago, Us Weekly claimed that after the Golden Globes, Sean Penn was all “Hey, hop on this ride” to Scarlett Johansson, and that ScarJo was all “Eh, why not?” Actually, Us Weekly claimed ScarJo was “smitten” and that after partying together in public, they took their party times private, to a hotel or something. I tended to believe that there was something to the report – but that it was nothing serious. ScarJo is just coming out of a divorce, and chica wants to get laid. Well… it might be love, because TMZ has a photo HERE of ScarJo gently resting her foot on Sean Penn’s Dong of Doom. Ugh.

With her foot in his lap during lunch, Scarlett Johansson, 26, got friendly with Sean Penn, 50, at Cuban restaurant Versailles in L.A. on Monday.

We’re told the two were seen smiling and laughing together during the meal — and one source inside the restaurant tells us Scarlett covered the bill.

Rumors of their “fling” have been swirling since January.

FYI — Scarlett and Ryan Reynolds filed for divorce in December, while Sean finalized his divorce from Robin Wright Penn last July.

[From TMZ]

Haha, ScarJo paid. Is that a sign that their relationship isn’t serious? I think it means that A) They’re friends, B) Sean is cheap as hell, and C) ScarJo is getting laid and she doesn’t mind buying her Dong For Now a little sustenance. Oh, ScarJo. I wanted you with someone better than this.

Photos courtesy of WENN.