I don’t know too much about British singer Joss Stone (except that her last name is pretty fitting and she’s been in a longterm feud with Lily Allen) but she just made a big impression on me. Access Hollywood has a new interview with her and she laughs her head off about the failed murder kidnapping plot against her, calling the would-be criminals “pathetic” and “very rude and uncooth,” as if they’d thrown a drink in her face at a party. Joss was targeted in June by two men lurking in the neighborhood of her country home. Neighbors noticed the men were casing the area and called the police, who found the men be in possession of an aerial map of Joss’ estate, swords, rope and a body bag. They were arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit robbery and intent to commit grievous bodily harm. It sounds scary as hell but Joss laughed it off and wondered if she knew the guys and had somehow ticked them off.

On trying to figure out why those guys targeted her
I feel like I’ve been Sherlock Holmes… ‘What about this time I went this place I told that guy to shove it? No, it’s not him.’ I don’t know

People are crazy and maybe they need – a hug?

On the murder plot
It was very rude and uncouth. You know what I mean. Come on, you can’t do something better with your Tuesday?

On the guys getting lost trying to find her
How can you get lost? You’re doing something very important here, you know. Come on, they got lost. It’s just pathetic.

My mom [would] kill them, so I feel safe.

[From Access Hollywood, video above]

Well Joss really is adorable. I don’t find her response at all typical or understandable, but she’s got a bubbly personality that’s for sure. No wonder she scored an invite to the royal wedding while Lily Allen got snubbed. She explained “all I’m doing is making a noise [by singing] and I’ve met the Princes of England who are lovely… they’re just really lovely, funny, witty guys.”

Joss has a new album coming out tomorrow through her own music label called LP1. She’s also collaborating with Mick Jagger, Dave Stewart (of Eurythmics), Damian Marley (Bob Marley’s son) and A.R. Rahman in a new band named Super Heavy. As for her thoughts on collaborating with such great names in music she said “I feel like an imposter. Somehow I blagged my way into the coolest thing in the world.” They’re coming out with an album soon and Joss describes it as “different sounds meshed together” and “quite tasty.”

You can watch more interviews with Joss on Access Hollywood. She’s fun as anything.

Here’s Joss at the royal wedding on 5/10/11. Credit: Pacific Coast News. She’s also shown on 9/10/10. Credit: WENN.com

I didn’t even want to write about this because it just seems so utterly bizarre. But it really happened – police in England arrested two men who are accused of plotting to kidnap and murder singer/actress Joss Stone. The alleged kidnappers possessed “detailed maps and aerial photos of her rural property in east Devon” as well as “swords, forensic-style overalls… and a body bag.” Oh, and ROPE. The Sun even has a photo of rope, in case you need to see it illustrated. I’m sorry, I’m seriously not making light of this, it sounds so sketchy and scary, and Joss is really lucky that she has paranoid neighbors:

TWO men were being held last night over a suspected plot to rob and murder singer Joss Stone. Cops found swords, rope and a body bag when they swooped on the pair at around 10am yesterday near the star’s isolated country home.

The men, aged 33 and 30, also had detailed maps and aerial photos of her rural property in east Devon. The suspects had travelled from the Manchester area 200 miles away.

Police insiders said they were arrested on suspicion of planning a terrifying raid on Joss, 24, who has a £9million personal fortune.

The alleged plot was foiled by sharp-eyed neighbours who saw two black men acting suspiciously in a red Fiat Punto. The car was being driven slowly around the isolated lanes of the Cullompton area. Police were alerted and took the men to Exeter, where they were being questioned last night.

A 20-strong team of detectives is now working on the case, liaising with colleagues in Manchester. Sources said the car was registered in Manchester but had a different owner. Cops said the men were initially held on suspicion of possession of offensive weapons and being equipped to steal.

Joss, who is close friends with Prince William and was at his wedding to Kate Middleton, is said to be in Britain and being kept informed of developments.

She said today she was “absolutely fine and getting on with life as normal”.

Det Insp Steve Parker said: “The men had information and items that lead us to suspect that they may have intended to commit a criminal offence.”

There was no sign of the singer yesterday at her farmhouse home, where workmen were busy. Joss, among the five top-earning female UK singing stars, is due to go back on tour next month. She has sold over ten million albums and worked with legends such as James Brown, The Rolling Stones and Stevie Wonder.

[From The Sun]

Thank goodness she’s safe! And thank goodness the cops were so proactive. This whole thing sounds so sketchy. It’s totally creeping me out that they might have gone through with their plot… at her country house. For some reason, that’s the detail that really bothers me. She would have been out in the country, perhaps her closest neighbor would have been a mile away, and if they had gotten a hold of her, it would have been a really bad situation.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Remember when Lily Allen promised that she was going to take a break from music, and remember when she quit twitter? Those were good times.

Well, Allen is back and she’s been back for a while, picking fights with people and getting indignant about stuff, as she’s known to do. Her latest tweets involve raging that she wasn’t invited to the royal wedding and that her rival, Joss Stone, was. Then she tried to take it back and claim that she was making a joke. Besides, she has something to do that night anyway, so nya.

@gracedent well, you can quote me as ‘outraged’, why does bloody Joss Stone get an invite and not moi? I sang at the Diana concert too!
25 Apr

From: JustKallMeTall
@lilyroseallen no disrespect however I have a feeling joss stone will behave better on the juice than u, sorry
25 Apr

@JustKallMeTall yeah, but she’s a stoner though so she’ll probably pull a whitey after her 2′nd glass of champers and vom everwhere.
25 Apr

@gracedent it was pretty obvious that I was being sarcastic about not being invited to the royal wedding, right ?
26 Apr

Oh my god, if I get one more tweet about not being invited to the royal wedding. IT WAS A JOKE you humourless fools, now run along.
26 Apr

Besides I wouldn’t be able to go anyway, I have a previous engagement.
26 Apr

[From Lily Allen's Twitter via Radar Online]

Lily is also in some kind of twitter feud with a guy from News of the World who is calling her out over the fact that she said she wanted time off. You can check out the details on her Twitter account, with the relevant tweets linked here. It’s not worth recapping.

Just reading through Lily’s Twitter account, it’s clear why she wasn’t invited to the royal wedding. This girl has been drunk in public multiple times, she’s talked smack about many different celebrities, and she’s wondering why she wasn’t invited to the most important event of the year in her country. She may have changed with her recent engagement and terribly sad miscarriage, but it’s obvious from her Twitter musings that she hasn’t changed that much.

Here’s Lily with her buddy Karl Lagerfeld at the Chanel show on 3/8/11. He looks like he wants to suck her brains. Credit: Fame.

Joss Stone is one of those singers I used to like. Until she started talking. While she’s only semi-famous in the U.S., in the U.K. she’s a big deal. She definitely has a bit of influence and an audience. Joss’ latest pearl of wisdom: pot is not a drug, it’s an herb. Okay other people have said that, no big deal. But here’s the best part. According to Joss, everybody smokes pot. That’s right, everybody . The pope? High as a kite right now. And anyone who says they don’t is a big liar. Here’s what she told Star:

“I smoke weed, but I don’t think it’s really a drug. It’s more of a herb. I don’t regret saying that at all. I think everyone smokes weed and people who say they don’t are lying! Weed has been given this evil stamp, but how is it dangerous? It’s going to make you laugh your arse off? You might go to sleep? I think alcohol is much more harmful. People beat the f&@* out of each other on alcohol.

But I don’t smoke weed all day long. I live in Devon and hardly ever go to clubs. When I do, I’ll drink three or four beers then move on to a vodka. I don’t want to take all those horrible drugs. Although some sound fun, so I might dabble now and then!”

[From Dlisted]

Well I guess I’m nothing but a liar because I don’t smoke pot and never have. My shameful secret is out: I’m straight edge. So I’m a liar or Joss is an idiot. It reminds me of Paris Hilton’s statement that everybody’s made a sex tape. Celebitchy and I were talking about this earlier today, and it seems that both these girls are probably of the mindset that if they do something, and everyone they know does it, then everyone in the world does it. And that’s a pretty narrow way of looking at the world. The people you know are likely to be similar to you. That doesn’t mean the entire world is the same as you.

I’m not going to go off on the pot, alcohol, or drug statements. Everyone just yells and no one agrees. I really find it much more interesting that someone could have such a limited ability to see beyond their own life.

Here’s Joss at the Mayfair hotel in London on November 3rd. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

There’s a British wannabe-diva battle brewing, and I can’t pick a side. Joss Stone gave a recent interview in which she claimed that Lily Allen “can’t sing” and that Lily is “more of a personality than she is a singer”. Now… here’s the thing. I don’t hate Lily Allen, but I think she’s a famewhore. And I like Joss’s voice, but her personality seems very… vanilla? Like, smug vanilla, though. Joss also seemed to be criticizing any singer (or perhaps any person) who wanted to, you know, actually make a lot of money doing what they love. As in, “Who said that musicians have to be millionaires? Who made this a rule? We don’t need that much money. We just don’t. We only need enough to make music and to eat and to go on tour.” Uh…

Joss Stone has launched an attack on fellow British singer Lily Allen, saying she “can’t sing.” She believes that Lily is more of a personality rather than a singer.

Lily is currently campaigning to try and make internet file sharing a criminal offense, to which Joss says, “She needs to sell records because she’s not a singer, and that’s not an offense to her because I think that she knows that too.”

“I think she’s a performer and she’s more of a personality than she is a singer. But I think when musicians are really making real music people come to the show and that’s what we make our money from, from playing live. And I think it’s probably harder for an artist like Lily and any other pop acts.”

“It’s really about the track and about their personality and their celebrity and that’s how they make their money is selling those records.”

“So the downloads – she’s not going to win that fight. None of us will win that fight. So let’s just accept it and let’s see it as something that can be beautiful and it might change music for the better. It might sort the weeds from the flowers.”

“Who said that musicians have to be millionaires? Who made this a rule? We don’t need that much money. We just don’t. We only need enough to make music and to eat and to go on tour.”

We highly doubt a lot of musicians agree with Joss on that one! We’re sure they’ve all gotten used to their cush lifestyle and could never go back to having a regular life with a lot less money! Do you agree with Joss here?

[From Hollyscoop]

So, if Joss wants to just make enough money to get by, good for her. But she seems a bit judgy about other people actually wanting to stock up a few million dollars for a rainy day. As far as the Lily Allen stuff goes… well, I’ll give Lily credit for actually co-writing most of her songs, and for using her mediocre voice to it’s fullest potential. I just don’t know which side to choose… probably neither.

Joss Stone is seen outside of a studio in London, UK on November 2, 2009. Lily Allen is seen attending The Q Awards 2009 held at the Grosvenor House in London, England on October 26, 2009. Credit: FAME.

Headbutting is the new bitch slap. First it was Naomi Campbell. Then Amy Winehouse. Now Joss Stone has publicly headbutted a man – her own half-brother to be exact. When two celebrities do something, it’s a fad. But once you get three on board it’s an absolute trend, and pretty soon people will be doing/watching/wearing whatever it is in the street. So keep that in mind when you glare at the rude clerk at the grocery store.

Joss was a little late to her nephew’s baptism, and she was supposed to be the baby’s godmother. A fight ensued between Joss and her half-brother Daniel, resulting in her headbutting him.

Pop star Joss Stone amazingly headbutted her brother as a family baptism descended into an ugly brawl. The diva, 21, was to be godmother to half-brother Daniel Skillin’s year-old son Louis but incensed her family by arriving 30 minutes late. She then refused to properly read out the church order of service – and as elderly relatives confronted her she branded them “old biddies”.

When ex-heroin addict and jailbird Daniel, 29, later quizzed her, she turned violent. One guest revealed: “She was absolutely furious and they had a full-blown argument. They were screaming at each other and the next thing, Joss headbutted him. Other family members ran over to break it up and she stormed off. It turned from a nice family affair into a brawl between Joss and her brother. No one could believe it.”

Rev John Cunningham later confirmed he had reminded her about the reading but said: “The conversation I had is between me and her.” The ugly bust-up exploded after guests decamped to Daniel’s home.

However, her pals insisted Joss’s headbutt was little more than a tap. One friend said: “She had been looking forward to the baptism. No one seemed bothered that she was a little late but a few people from Daniel’s side had a go. At Daniel’s house she got lots of stick and eventually had a go back. But she didn’t want trouble and when things got a bit too heated she left. She was really upset.”

[From The Mirror]

Clearly. You know, when I’m really upset I yell, scream, or cry. Or generally do the wasp thing and keep it all inside, which is much more dignified and less healthy. But rarely do I resort to headbutting. Not never, but rarely. I imagine Joss looking like a charging rhino, coming at her poor brother with smoke coming out of her nostrils. Do rhino nostrils smoke? I think I’m mixing this up with dragons. But with that occasionally purplish-red hair of hers, Josh does look a bit dragon-esq.

Considering she couldn’t hold her temper together for a few hours over something that was clearly her mistake to begin with, it seems like it’d be a good idea to pick a new godmother. Heaven forbid the kid fail to blow out all his candles on his 5th birthday and Joss sucker punches him or something.

Here’s Joss Stone performing live at LA Pride 2008 on the WAMU Mainstage at West Hollywood Park on June 7th. Images thanks to WENN.

How is it possible that Joss Stone may be having money problems, while crackhead Amy Winehouse is somehow still worth millions? It’s hard to believe, but the Daily Mirror is reporting that Stone’s company is in debt after paying out 2.2 Million pounds to the singer so she could purchase a home.

Joss Stone may have to live on a diet of free chocolate bars if her business accounts keep dwindling.

The singer and Cadbury Flake girl paid herself a whopping £2.2million salary last year.

Living in Hollywood is proving expensive, leaving her company Joss Ltd in the red to the tune of £412,295 last year.

The Devon diva hasn’t had a Top 10 hit since 2004 so her record company will be putting pressure on her to produce a new album.
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A source said: “Joss bought a house last year, so a large chunk of money went on that. But she needs to rein [sic] in her spending before she gets in trouble.”

Another company, Joss ROW Touring, ended the year £210,050 in the red and Joss Publishing Ltd lost £62,588.

Expect more Flake ads or the cookie will really crumble..

[From the Daily Mirror]

To clear something up: while Stone may not have had a Top 10 single since 2004, her last album, “Introducing Joss Stone,” debuted at number 2 on the UK Billboard charts and sold 118,000 copies in its first week, becoming the highest debut for a British solo female artist on the U.S. charts, surpassing the record previously held by Amy Winehouse with “Back to Black.” So it’s not like Joss is about to be living in a cardboard box or something. And when you put it into context, 2.2 Million really isn’t that extravagant- Amy Winehouse probably goes through that much per month just to maintain her beehive. Hopefully, this is just another exaggerated story. But if not- Joss- put down the joint and start writing some new material, honey!

Joss Stone is shown performing at Rock in Rio Lisboa on 6/1/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Joss Stone has been complaining that British fans no longer like her because she has an American accent now – anyone who returns from an overseas trip with an accent is held in contempt in England. They don’t have to dislike her for the way she talks, but rather for the stupid things that she says.

British singer Joss Stone shocked guests at a heart disease benefit, by singing the praises of cigarettes. The star was one of a number of celebrity guests at a New York Fashion Week bash on Saturday (2FEB08) to promote U.S. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute’s (NHLBI) annual Heart Truth awareness campaign. When asked what she did to protect her heart, Stone, 20, revealed she smoked hand-rolled cigarettes – which she wrongly claimed are less harmful than pre-packaged ones. She told the New York Daily News, “In England we smoked rolled cigarettes. It’s better to smoke rollies than straights because straights have chemicals that keep them burning. So if you have to really smoke, smoke rollies.”

[From Contact Music]

Contact Music points out that hand-rolled cigarettes are more likely to cause lung and esophageal cancer.

If Joss Stone was even a little bit clever, she might have just lied a little and said ‘I exercise’ or ‘I try to eat right’. Not something like ‘I only smoke hand-rolled ciggies’.

It’s not just that what she said was wrong, but it’s also the venue in which she shared her medical expertise. I’m guessing she wasn’t at the bash for the free food, but to actually learn about heart disease, since she obviously knows nothing about it.

By the way, eating well and exercising, as well as not smoking, are good ways to improve heart and lung health. For more information check out the United States National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute website.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Joss Stone is shown wearing a dress similar to the one Lindsay Lohan wore to the Maxim Hot 100 party back in May of last year. She is shown outside the Herve Leger By Max Azria show at fashion week on 2/3/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Many times I have written articles about pregnant celebrities and mentioned how absolutely terrified I am of the concept of giving birth. I mean I want to have kids more than anything in the world, but I really wish I could pick them up at the local market, instead of growing them from scratch. Well it turns out all of my fears have been diminished. Why? Because not-very-well-respected-anymore singer Joss Stone wants to be a midwife. And what rational person wouldn’t want a barefoot-in-public, purple-hair-sporting quasi-soul-singer pulling a baby out of you? That’s right, no one.

Joss sat down for an intimate question and answer with the Sydney Morning Herald, and talked about her plans for the future and her struggles as an artist.

At midnight, sitting in a Swiss hotel room, the rest of her life weighs comfortably on the conversation. “I really don’t plan on dying and saying I was just a singer,” says Joss Stone, thinking about her future. “I want to do many different things. I’m really excited to see what’s going to happen in the next couple of years because it’s not going to be the same.”

“I would actually like to go back to school, which is funny because I really hated school with a passion. I’d like to go back and do some degrees and I want to be a midwife, actually. I think that would take me about three years.”

[From the Sydney Morning Herald]

Well I feel relieved. I love how almost all celebrities say they’re going to do this or that other thing because they know what they’re doing isn’t helping people and they want to enrich their lives and all that stuff. How often does it come to fruition? I know there’s a couple famous people out there that have tried their hands at other professions, but how many have done so successfully? Can anyone think of a well respected actor/cardiothoracic surgeon? A brilliant model/trial lawyer? An esteemed former-teen-prodigy soul singer/midwife? It’s just too weird. I mean it’s cute for a movie of the week, but you don’t want someone like that between your legs.

Incidentally, spending a bit too much time between her producers’ legs is exactly how Joss Stone got her current reputation/lost all credibility as an artist.