Those of us who follow Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop ramblings religiously (and really, who doesn’t?) know that Gwyneth fancies herself the second coming of Martha Stewart. Think about it – they can both come across as icy, haughty, snotty blondes with too much time on their hands. It sort of works. Except for the fact that Martha Stewart has every damn reason to be haughty – she’s actually a lifestyle goddess bitches, and she was put on this earth so we could all bake the perfect cake, make our own icing and create our own icing mold tips. Don’t forget the wax paper! The wax paper will help you not get all of your homemade icing on your beautiful antique cake stand that, of course, you bought on your little weekend escape to the Connecticut antique shops. What? You don’t live like that? Too bad. Martha does. And she’s the original. Goopy’s just a budget imposter.

Anyway, Fox News 411 is reporting that Gwyneth’s next step to becoming the snottier, goopier version of Martha is to launch a series of Goop-branded products. Part of the Goop brand will be beauty products, launched under the Estee Lauder umbrella. Which means that Gwyneth probably isn’t mad about the weird circumstances surrounding the loss of her Estee Lauder modeling contract – it was probably mutual, and Gwyneth remained friends with the Lauder women. Gwyneth also wants a “Goop For Moms” brand that she can sell through her website, or as Fox’s source says, she wants “to create products for real women.” Oh, barf. In Goopy’s mind, “real women” = fat peasants.

An inside source tells FOX411 that Gwyneth Paltrow has secret plans to shift her public image and become the next Martha Stewart. She wants to create her own lifestyle brands for women and families and cut back to doing one movie per year. Husband and Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin has even dubbed Gwyneth’s appointments to plan her takeover of the lifestyle sector her “Martha Stewart meetings”!

The insider, who works with paltrow, tells FOX411, “Her plan is to stay visible in the occasional film, but to create products for real women. She is working on new products for her own beauty line under Estee Lauder and looking at different products for moms at home that she can tie to her website, GOOP.”

And Gwyneth has new product lines all ready for launch, says the source.

“Her charity clothing line for ZOEtees, which will benefit Kids Company, is about to debut, and that was a major project. Other products will follow suit.”

Martin lightly mocks Gwyneth’s big plans, but he never asks her to stop them, the insider adds. “She still spends plenty of time with him and Moses and Apple and she continues to be a very protective and present mother.”

It’s a good thing Chris doesn’t try to hold her back, because he’d lose, says the pal. “She has become a power multi-tasker, so she’ll take meetings while she’s sitting around her movie sets. Gwyneth wants to create an empire, but her first priority is always to her family. She is finding ways to merge the two so that other women and mothers will be able to do the same.”

[From Fox News 411]

Interesting that Fox’s source seems to stress that Chris Martin is all for the Goop brand. Chris is probably thinking, “Anything to get her to shut her goopy piehole for two goddamn seconds.” The “source” is probably very much a Friend of Goop, because the rumors we keep hearing are that Chris and Gwyneth are having problems.

As for the main part of the story – would you buy Goop products? Perhaps “Goop Mascara” (yikes) or the “Goop Diaper Pail”? I could have fun with this – how about Goop Tissues, for when you’re feeling snotty (snotty = “Gwyneth”). Or the Goop “Roach” Killer, for when the paparazzi just won’t leave you alone?

Gwyneth and Martha are shown at the same event, the premiere of Valentino: The Last Emperor at the MoMA in NY on 3/17/09. Credit: Splash News

My favorite “Real Housewives of…” series will always be the Atlanta season. Those women were authentically crazy, and it was the best. The Orange County seasons are like taking a friggin’ sleeping pill they’re so boring, but allegedly, the latest New York season has buckets of drama. Lots of divorce drama, cheating drama, gay drama and money drama, which always makes for good television. And now we cane add one more drama – Martha Stewart drama.

New York “housewife” Bethenny Frankel was once a protege of Martha Stewart, and now Bethenny hates Martha with a passion. I should point out – Bethenny isn’t a housewife. She’s not married, she doesn’t have any kids, and her voice is the worst, most grating, nasal, whining trainwreck ever. Bethenny was once a runner-up on Martha’s now defunct Apprentice spin-off, and Bethenny developed some strong, negative opinions about domestic goddess Martha. Specifically, Bethenny thinks Martha is lonely and pitiful, and “alone with her business”. Yes, I’m sure Martha is weeping into her queen-sized bed made of $100 bills.

Martha Stewart is fed up with her one-time protege – The Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel.

Bethenny, who appeared on Martha’s Apprentice show in 2005, has been taking verbal swipes at the domestic diva on her reality series, painting Martha as a lonely and pitiful woman. And when the news got back to Martha, she was livid!

Referring to Martha growing her business empire at the expense of finding true and lasting romance, Bethenny quipped to fellow Housewife Jill Zarin: “Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. I don’t want to end up like Martha Stewart. She’s alone with her business.”

But currently single Bethenny, 38, who has been married once and has no children, is dumping on Martha as payback for not being chosen as the winner on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart four years ago, say sources. Bethenny was runner-up, losing to a contestant who was more pleasant than the sharp-tongued natural-food chef.

“Bethenny is using ‘Housewives’ as a platform to air her grievances about Martha – a dig here and a throwaway line there,” an inside source told The ENQUIRER.

Martha feels that Bethenny is an “ungrateful fool,” says another insider.

“She’s disgusted with Bethenny – especially since it was Martha’s show that helped launch Bethenny to where she is now.”

[From The National Enquirer]

It is disgusting. Team Martha all the way. It’s no secret that Martha had a bitter divorce back in the day, but she and her adult daughter Alexa are still close, and Martha built an incredible empire out of the ashes of her failed marriage. Personally, I doubt Martha is in any way lonely or pitiful. I think she enjoys her life immensely. She has all of those beautiful homes, her animals, a job she loves and an empire to run beautifully. Bethenny should be so lucky to have a life or career anywhere close to Martha’s.

This is such a sad story – one of Martha Stewart’s dogs has died in a freak accident at the boarding kennel where he was staying.

One of Martha Stewart’s dogs has died in a deadly propane explosion at a Carbon County kennel in Pennsylvania.

Her Chow Chow — Genghis Kahn — was one of 16 or 17 dogs killed in a tragic propane blast that happened during a propane delivery to the elite kennel.

Some of the deceased were show dogs, all were beloved pets. Many terrified dogs made a beeline for the turnpike and the forest. All of those have reportedly been recovered.

The delivery man was able to toss a few dogs to safety before he himself was burned.

Several police officers also were burned in the process of rescuing dogs.

Los Angeles Times

It’s heartening to hear that the delivery man and police tried to help the dogs, at their own risk. Following recent bushfires in Australia there was an outpouring of help directed specifically at animals hurt in the fires. People care deeply about their pets, they are part of the family, and to lose one when you think they’re in a safe place must be such a shock. Martha’s official blog has further details, as well as a pictorial tribute to her pet Genghis Khan.

A day after a propane explosion killed 15 show dogs in a Carbon County kennel, co-owner Karen Tracy mourned the passing of a 16th dog that died Saturday morning, and tearfully described the propane delivery driver as a ”hero.”

Badly burned in the explosion, the truck driver managed to first toss a cairn terrier named Chilli over the fence to safety before getting himself out of harm’s way.

”That man is a hero,” Tracy said. ”My heart goes out to his family.”

Timothy Kleinhagen of Summit Hill was taken to Lehigh Valley Hospital-Cedar Crest where he was listed in critical condition Saturday, a hospital spokeswoman said.

He was filling the kennel’s propane tank when the explosion occurred about 2:25 p.m. Friday. Fire officials have said a spark or static electricity could have ignited the fire, which sent flames 75 feet into the air and ripped through the pens at Pazzazz Pet Boarding kennel, near Beltzville State Park in Franklin Township.

In addition to the 15 dogs that died Friday, 13 dogs were taken two nearby animal hospitals. A 3-year-old chow chow named Shamrock was badly injured and didn’t make it through the night, Tracy said. Six were released Saturday.

Creature Comforts of Saylorsburg was treating five of the dogs, most with second- or third-degree burns. Two were in critical condition Saturday, two were stable and ready to be transferred to another kennel and one will need skin grafts, said Dr. Karin Breitlauch, the veterinarian who owns Creature Comforts.

One of the dogs in critical condition sustained burns over 80 percent of her back, she said.

Like human burn victims, the dogs will get fluids, diuretics and antibiotics, Breitlauch said.

”Fortunately, they have very thick skin,” she said, but added that for the dogs in critical condition, ”the next three or four days will be touch and go.”

Martha Stewart Living

Fortunately at such an exclusive kennel the owners are likely to be able to afford the pet care their animals need. Martha is a known animal lover, owning Chow Chow dogs, French Bulldogs, Himalayan cats, and Friesian horses which she often features in her magazine and show. In April 2008 Martha’s Chow Paw-Paw died, and she blogged about it, featuring a few pictures of her pet’s last days that are touching.

The people running the Martha Stewart Show must be getting desperate for ratings. Either that or they are just flat-out bored with their jobs and trying to spice it up a bit. Which I can’t blame them for. According to Entertainment Weekly, Martha’s doing an entire show about pot. With some tired jokes to go along with it. It’ll have Jimmy Fallon bringing Martha brownies! And joking about Michael Phelps! And there will even be a discussion about pot bellied pigs.

Attention, stoners! It seems somebody has finally given Martha Stewart the right kind of viewer research—you know, the kind that lets her know that plennnnty of you are at home watching her daytime talk show and hittin’ the pipe on a regular basis. At least, that’s my guess after receiving an e-mail this morning that included an announcement that next Monday’s episode of The Martha Stewart Show will be “entirely dedicated to the world of pot.”

I’m not really sure how this will go over with Martha’s dedicated fan base of type-A closet reorganizers and guppies in search of the perfect cassoulet recipe—I mean, do those people even know what pot is?—but the e-mail release had some pretty smokin’ (sorry) teasers. For instance, Monday’s episode will feature Martha talking about her stash of pots while an onscreen crawl highlights every word she uses that includes “pot.” She’ll hang out with some pot-bellied pigs, chat with some professional plant potters, and welcome guest Jimmy Fallon, who brings Martha a plate of brownies upon entrance (while cracking an already-tired Michael Phelps joke) and later cooks his favorite chili in, yep, a Crock-Pot.

Haha. Pot. Get it? You know, this isn’t the first time our Martha has flirted with pot culture—plenty of us recall our jaws hitting the floor when she made her uproarious appearance alongside Busta Rhymes at the 1997 Video Music Awards. For all the times we’ve heard rumors of nasty, cutthroat behavior, Martha’s her own best lampoonist, and it’s pretty admirable that she plays along so well. Or maybe, after all those months in prison, the girl’s just got a need for weed. Weed HUMOR, I mean! (Seriously, Martha, don’t sue me. I in no way presume that you toke up on a regular basis.)

[From Entertainment Weekly]

I feel nauseous from all the cheesiness. And the desperation. You know what they say is a good cure for nausea… pot. Something tells me this show will involve a lot of winking at the camera. That said, I am absolutely watching this. I’m sure it’ll make me groan and cringe, but it’s not often you have the possibility of Martha Stewart eating special brownies. Which I’m sure are only special because they’re gluten-free or something.

Not surprisingly, when I looked up “Martha Stewart” and “pot” on Google Images, all I got where several pictures of lovely cassoulet dishes. The show’s concept sounds like a stretch, to say the least. But she competes against “The View” in several markets, and I’m sure it’s hard for her to beat them. Those ladies know how to harness a controversy, whereas yesterday’s “Martha Stewart Show” included a demonstration about how to sew your own pretend felt food for your kids’ play kitchen. And make a little oven and stove out of cardboard boxes. It’s a pretty big leap to go from child’s kitchen to heavily-hinted-at recreational drugs. Hopefully the whole show won’t go to pot.

Here’s Martha at the grand opening of the Fontainebleau in Miami Beach on November 14th. Images thanks to WENN.

In an effort to ensure that her office is clutter-free, Martha Stewart has banned employees at her publishing division from having personal photos and any kind of clutter on their desks. Their cubicles must be clean at the end of the day with no photos or extra junk lying around. She also has rules about the type of office supplies they use. The National Enquirer ran this story in their latest issue, and it seems to be based on a Gawker report from late January along with Martha’s response on her blog, which kind of acknowledges that it’s true that she doesn’t permit clutter. She does say that it’s not true that people are only allowed to use certain kind of pens. She doesn’t like blue pens at all and it’s about to have them in the office supply closet, but if employees want to bring them in they’re not banned or anything.

Kevin Sharkey and Martha have decided that their new design scheme will be marred by any of the following: ink colors other than red or black, desks that are not completely clear at the end of the day, except for one metal basket of approved office supplies, and anything that could be construed as being personal, such as photos or coffee mugs (I guess drinking fluids slows down the proletariat). Perhaps they are figuring the last part makes it that much easier to lay people off quickly, because they won’t have to waste everyone’s time by clearing out their desks.

[From Gawker]

And here’s Martha’s response, in which she hilariously plugs her office supply line:

I just want to say that this Gawker.com article is a misrepresentation of what actually was discussed within our offices. The list of pens is an assortment of what our company will provide our employees with at our expense. We never stated that other pens were not allowed to be used. In these tough economic times, harmony is essential within the working environment. I must also inform you that we use a great assortment of writing implements from the Martha Stewart crafts line available at Michael’s Crafts and Walmart.

[From Martha Stewart's blog]

I love Martha Stewart and while she’s probably a pain in the ass to work for at least she seems to have a sense of humor about it. It’s Martha Stewart, of course she wants her office to look impeccable as that’s what she promotes on her show and in her magazine. This woman has taught me so many tricks for organizing my house and making guests feel welcome, and I feel like she has a right to demand that her employees keep their desks clean. That way, Martha can go around and put ribbons around their computer monitors once they’ve left for the night.

Thanks to Gawker for these pictures.

Martha Stewart has revealed her beauty secrets in her weekly “Ask Martha” column. Ever wonder how Martha Stewart gets that 1950′s housewife glow? It involves a lot of exercise, organization and personal care. Martha doesn’t mention how she maintained her fitness routine in the slammer under threats from gangs of lesbians taking over the prison gym for orgies.

1. SKIN CARE: Skin care is vital, and my routine includes a thorough cleansing every morning and night. Toners, enriching day and night creams, and serums keep my skin elastic and supple and glowing. Sunblocks, balms and skin healers are also necessary as preventive treatments.

2. GYM: My home gym is furnished with aerobic machines, weights and Cybex machines, and has a lovely view of the farm, a television so I can watch the news while running on the treadmill, and yoga equipment. The importance of aerobic exercise cannot be overemphasized. Aerobics keep weight down and stamina up.

3. MORNING JUICE: Every morning I drink about 8 ounces of what I call “green juice.” I use a juicer to make a blend of spinach, celery, cucumber, carrot and some fruit – pear, apple, pomegranate, plum, peach, a bit of orange peel and a small piece of ginger. The more of these ingredients that come from my organic garden, the better. I actually feel a jolt of energy when I imbibe these drinks.

4. CALENDAR: An organized calendar with every meeting, trip and appointment carefully listed and timed enables me to accomplish a lot each day. Each appointment is listed with phone numbers of all the principals. Addresses include cross streets so no time is wasted in finding a location.

5. WALKING: My favorite outdoor activity has always been hiking or walking. Good footwear, good socks and a jacket with pockets (for water and a cell phone) are crucial items of clothing.

6. EXERCISE: Weights are all-important for bone health and body toning, and yoga is essential for calming the mind and strengthening the body’s core. I love weights for arms and shoulders, and my Pilates ring for strengthening thighs, arms and chest. A yoga block, a ring and a yoga strap come with me wherever I go, so I can at least get a bit of a workout when I’m on the road.

7. WATER: I have three offices in addition to my home office. Alongside every one of my computers I keep a pitcher of mineral water infused with lemon, lime, orange, or cucumber and mint. I find that I drink more if the pitcher is there as a reminder.

8. HAIR CARE: Because I have my hair styled so often, I wash it almost every day. I use a variety of shampoos and conditioners to keep my hair from becoming dry or brittle. Sometimes I visit my colorist for a glossing, which seems to infuse my hair with a new vitality.

9. DAILY MAINTENANCE: Skin care is not the only daily routine one must adhere to. An electric toothbrush is essential for gum care and shiny white teeth, along with a good dental-care program (twice a year cleanings and checkups). Mouthwash and salt-water gargles are also helpful in keeping colds and sore throats from developing. Feet, hands, arms and legs should also be cared for.

10. RELAXATION: I do try to find some time, perhaps not every day but as often as possible, to curl up with a new book – often downloaded onto my Kindle – or to watch a movie. A great cup of tea or even a homemade cappuccino (one shot of espresso only) is an added perk and pleasure.

Philly.com

I’ve never noticed Martha Stewart looking particularly gorgeous, although I was surprised to find that she is 67. She might not ever look stunning, but she does look groomed and put-together. Being a housewife, I sometimes watch a bit of Martha on television, and wonder if I too could have perfectly organized drawers, a handy touch with ribbons, and live that general sort of lifestyle she’s professing. Then I sober up.

Martha adds, and this is probably the best of it, that catching up with friends and family is intrinsically important to our lives, since this is the ‘real reason we do what we do’. Martha is winning me over, in a way Gwyneth Paltrow and her pretentious Goop newsletter never could.

Martha Stewart is shown on 11/14/08 at the Grand Opening of the Fontainebleau Miami Beach. Credit: WENN

The National Enquirer has an interview with a woman who claims she was friends with Martha Stewart in prison, but has since been ignored by the millionaire homemaker after multiple attempts to contact her. Martha Guarino was in Alderson Federal Prison Camp serving time for cocaine possession when she befriended Martha Stewart. Guarino says she protected a clueless Stewart from beat downs and serious threats from other inmates and that in turn Stewart promised to help her find the best doctor to treat her breast cancer. Guarino is upset that Stewart didn’t keep in touch with her after she got out of prison, though, and says she broke her promise to provide help and assistance.

The best part of the interview is this anecdote Guarino recounts about how Stewart learned the hard way to mind her business in the slammer:

Mother-of-three Lisa was already serving time after being sentenced to 40 months for cocaine possession.

“We both found each other taking the same walks each day,” Lisa told The Enquirer at her home in Boston.

The two became friendly, says Lisa, after she loaned Martha some blush. Soon the two began working out nightly together at the prison’s recreation center.

Lisa, who remains on probation and is battling cancer, told The Enquirer: “Martha and I would do crunches at night. I would count in English and Martha in French.”

One visit to the recreation center nearly ended in tragedy when strong-willed Martha shot her mouth off, revealed Lisa.

“We were going to the usual room we used and the lights were off, which was odd. Then I looked through the window and I could make out some lesbians having sex.

“I warned Martha not to go in there, but she said it was our time to exercise, swung open the door, turned on the light and said ‘Chop! Chop! Ladies.’

“There were about four lesbian couples in there, most of them semi-clothed and all of them had clearly been fooling around.

“Most of the women were more masculine-looking than boxers, and as they came out of the room, one of them said she was going to kill Martha!

“I pushed Martha into the room and she began panicking when she realized they were serious. She went white and began shaking. ‘Don’t let them hurt me,’ she said.

“I went back out and spoke to the women. The angriest said ‘That b- is dead! I am going to kill her. She may be somebody outside, but she’s just a number in here!”

As the tension mounted, Lisa did some quick thinking.

“I said Martha wasn’t right in the head and she wasn’t with the program yet. Then I got Martha to come out of the room and apologize t the women. It seemed to work.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 19, 2008]

Martha was grateful for the help, and for another incident in which Lisa convinced an inmate who had it out for Martha not to hurt her. In turn she told Lisa that she would help her with breast cancer treatment once she was released. Stewart’s promises ultimately were hollow, though:

After Lisa’s release, the mother of three says she sent letters to Martha at her Connecticut home. “Martha had given me a telephone number for her assistant, but the number came up dead. And no one replied to the letters I sent. I did get one thing from her – a signed photograph.

“I am sorry if Martha wants to wash her hands of me because I may bring up memories of a bad time. I have nothing but respect for her, but I am in a terrible way now because of my health.

“The cancer has not been reduced, and I may well have a double mastectomy in the coming weeks. I just wanted Martha to know.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 19, 2008]

This could all be fabricated by this woman, and who knows how much of it is true or if Martha really told her this. You don’t know what really happened and maybe Martha thinks it’s best that she keep her distance or worries that people are trying to take advantage of her. It’s sad for Lisa that she’s dealing with breast cancer though and maybe the cash from the National Enquirer will help pay for her expenses.

Martha Stewart is shown on 11/20/08 at a benefit. Credit: WENN

The National Enquirer’s cover story about Martha Stewart is hardly as damning as they make it sound. There’s a new tell-all book coming out about the homemaking mogul and the advance details in the Enquirer are pretty tame. Martha Stewart is said to have gone into a depression before she was jailed for insider trading in 2004 and to have hit the fine wine hard. When Martha drinks, she doesn’t eat bars of chocolate or bags of chips like the rest of us, she makes gourmet desserts and pigs out in style. Stewart’s binging is classy:

“Martha worked as a model as a young woman, and in public she’s always meticulously groomed. But family members will reveal that booze and eating binges left her bloated and disheveled before she went to jail,” said the publishing source.

“When she’s upset, she whips up fattening desserts and gourmet treats and washes them down with pricey fine wines. The authors will reveal that this behavior played out for days in Martha’s Connecticut home before she went off to prison in West Virginia.

“Martha also cried almost nonstop, and there were times when family members couldn’t get her to come out of her bedroom.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 22, 2008]

According to this new book, Martha Steward had to go to jail for five months so she cried a lot, drank for a few days and made herself tasty desserts. I would be doing much worse in that situation and my house wouldn’t be as spotless and ribboned as Stewart’s surely was at the time.

Stewart is said to “loathe” the competition Rachael Ray and feel that “Rachael is too common and does cooking a disservice by dumbing down the art of fine cuisine and food preparation.” She also hates Donald Trump for dissing her “Apprentice” spin off.

Meanwhile Martha’s “special friend” as mentioned on the Enquirer cover is just that. There’s no lesbian relationship even implied, and Martha never got down with the ladies in jail. I was hoping for some more scandal and maybe a gay romp or two, but Martha’s personal life seems to be as in order and wrapped up as her surroundings. She can even get wasted and make exquisite desserts that would put Rachel Ray to shame. I want to hang out with Martha Stewart and get some organizing advice and treats.

Martha Stewart is shown on 11/14/08 at the Grand Opening of the Fontainebleau Miami Beach. Credit: WENN

Lucky bastards. The British have gotten to do what most Americans wish we could do: tell Martha Stewart to stay the hell away. The country rebuffed the domestic diva’s request for a visa – because of her criminal conviction five years ago. That’s right, the British consider Martha Stewart to be a potential threat to their citizens. And frankly, who can blame them? Though by that logic, I feel we should get to kick her out of our country too.

Martha Stewart has been banned from England — at least temporarily. The famous homemaker was denied a visa into Great Britain because of her stock fraud conviction four years ago. Martha, who served five months in prison in 2004, had plans to travel across the pond for a scheduled speech at the Royal Academy and various meetings when the U.K. Border Agency informed her it won’t be issuing her a visa.

The Agency itself refused to comment on individual cases, but stated the organization is conscious of those the country’s visitors with criminal pasts.

“We continue to oppose the entry to the UK of individuals where we believe their presence in the United Kingdom is not conducive to the public good or where they have been found guilty of serious criminal offences abroad,” the Agency said in a statement.

[From OK! Magazine]

The government actually said they thought the visa decision was stupid – though they didn’t use that exact word. But you can tell they’re thinking it. Really, really hard. A spokesman noted: “It is a bit silly given some of the other people allowed into the country.” Which makes me wonder what kind of hardened criminals they’re letting in. Martha’s rep was all sunshine and roses, stating that she loves the U.K. and is hoping to resolve the issue soon. I say if they take her they have to keep her.

Martha Stewart’s daughter Alexis has been spending over $28,000 a month of fertility treatments in an attempt to get pregnant. Alexis is 42, and says she was so busy with her life and her career that she never stopped to think about how much time is passing. Celebrities get pregnant all the time at what seems like any old age, and we don’t really hear as much about the people that can’t have babies. Alexis says she’ll do whatever it takes to have a child, and has gone as far as giving herself her shots on the street if necessary.

“Even though her eggs are ‘dry and crusty,’ Alexis Stewart is determined to get pregnant – so determined, she spends $28,000 a month on fertility treatments. Stewart, 42, started the difficult process last year, and opened up to People in July about how lucky she is to be able to afford the high-tech procedures and special treatments. On Tuesday, she talks to Oprah Winfrey about the emotionally and financially draining process.

“Having a baby wasn’t always a priority for Stewart, and now that she’s ready to be a mom, she tells Winfrey it’s almost too late. ‘[We] get distracted because now we have jobs, and now we have other things to do. Medicine seems miraculous – you can do anything you want,’ she says. ‘Movie stars have babies late. It seems all possible, but you don’t hear the stories of the people who can’t have a baby.’”

[From People]

As a feminist, I kind of have a problem with the whole notion that women better get to the baby having or we’ll dry up. But biology doesn’t really agree with my feminist principles, and it is what it is. Alexis was married to one of the lawyers that unsuccessfully defended her mother from 1997 – 2004, and has been using a sperm donor to get pregnant.

“Over the summer, Stewart told People she’ll do whatever it takes to make Martha Stewart, her mom, a grandmother. ‘Twice, I’ve given myself shots on the street. I’m much more interested in taking my medication than in what anyone might think about me,’ she said. Stewart has since had three failed egg implantations. ‘Last month, I had no eggs that were viable, so I’m sort of back to square one at the moment,’ she tells Winfrey, adding that she tries not to get too emotional about it.

“‘When I have to think about my other options, then I will do that,’ she says. ‘But at the moment, I can only think about this option.’ Stewart also says financial and emotional backing from her mom helps. ‘She’s very supportive. She tells me it will happen all the time,’ she says. ‘Because she wants grandchildren?’ Winfrey asks. Stewart’s response: ‘Desperately.’”

[From People]

I don’t know, but I would guess Martha’s footing a good portion of the bill herself. But maybe that’s because Oprah kept billing the show “This woman is spending $28,000 a month to make Martha Stewart a grandmother,” which made it sound like it was all about Martha. I’m not really a huge Martha fan – she seems pretty cold to me – but I’m guessing any baby that’s lucky enough to be born into that family will be pretty well taken care of for the rest of their lives. And have access to Martha’s scrapbooking wing in her house. I’d try to be her grandkid just for that.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Martha Stewart and Alexis are shown on 4/28/06 at the Daytime Emmy Awards. Thanks to PRPhotos.