Bradley Cooper covers the April issue of GQ magazine to promote his role in The Place Beyond The Pines. On this cover, he looks slightly less serial killer-esque than usual, but there’s no masquerading those piercing blue eyes that can see into your soul and dismantle it at the very same time. Speaking of soul-crushing entities, Bradley shows himself to be surprisingly revealing in this interview — moreso than I’ve ever witnessed in any of his interviews. He discusses many topics including his fellow actors, his sober status, and his feelings about his father’s death (from cancer two years ago). On that last topic, he talks a lot, and it’s very sad.

Oh, and Bradley’s also using this interview to try and convince us that he never wanted to win that stinking Oscar in the first place. Kaiser is calling bullsh-t on that one, and I agree that Bradley probably wanted that Oscar very badly, which is probably why he chose to play a lead character in an Oscar-bait, Weinstein Co. film in the first place. However, I can say that Bradley probably knew with all certainty that it truly was an honor for him to be nominated because he had no chance in hell of winning against Daniel Day Lewis, et al. Oh, and I’m issuing a SPOILER ALERT for the third excerpt below, in which Bradley reveals a bit too much about his TPBTB character’s actions, but he does appear to have a bit of a mancrush on Ryan Gosling. Here are some excerpts:

On actors & egos: “[L]et me tell you about actors. Back then, I had a couple of high-profile actor friends who were pretty successful and they were saying, ‘Why are you doing that movie called The Hangover? I read the script and I passed.’ And I’m like, ‘Oh, OK. Well, I’m doing it.’ Something I’ve learned: other successful actors love telling one another they’ve passed on a script. And then it turns out the script was sent to them but wasn’t offered to them. Actors are a crazy breed. I feel honoured to be a part of this profession, but I also feel a lot of gratitude that I am not a typical actor. Not at all.”

Why he quit alcohol: “I had my reasons and I don’t like getting into it too much. I’m not going to say I’ll never drink ever again. I mean, who knows what will happen in the future? I just consider… What I will say is that my life was going in one direction and that terrified me. It scared the sh-t out of me. I knew I had to make some changes if I ever wanted to fulfill whatever potential I had as a human being. I felt a huge sense of responsibility to my parents, especially to my father. When I took out a loan to go to grad school to act I could see that deep down he was f—ing terrified.”

On The Place Beyond The Pines: “Who would ever want to be in a movie where you’re the guy that kills Ryan Gosling? Ryan Gosling looks sexy as hell in this movie, too. He’s all muscled out, tattooed up; a super-cool outlaw bank robber who gets to hold a baby for most of the movie. And me — my character, this cop who lies and rats on his buddies — is supposed to turn up 45 minutes into the movie and kill Ryan Gosling? I love Ryan.”

On his father’s death: “Death became very real. And very tangible. Because my father — someone who had been in my life for 36 years is just f—ing gone. I watched him dying and I was there by his bed watching him, breathing with him, and then I saw his last breath and he was gone. I experienced the whole thing. And that was a watershed moment that I was privileged to experience. And it changed everything.”

On how he’s changed since then: “Nothing has ever been the same since. You know William Blake’s Songs Of Innocence? Well, right there, in that moment, the innocence was gone. Done. Never to return. The beauty is that I just don’t sweat sh-t any more. My father gave me two gifts — having me and dying with me. I used to be the kid that got the shakes if I had to talk in public; now, I just don’t get nervous about stuff. I can’t control everything. I watched my father die and I realised that is the way we are all going to die. For me, it was a switch from knowing something intellectually to knowing it by tangibly experiencing it. It rewired my neurological system. It almost did the opposite of motivating me. It was about keeping the main thing the main thing.”

He doesn’t want to win an Oscar: “It would change nothing. Nothing. The things in my life that aren’t fulfilled would not be fulfilled. Career-wise, right now, it’s better that I don’t win one. I don’t want to win. I don’t.”

[From GQ]

Aww, poor Bradley. He’s been hit really hard by his father’s passing, and by all accounts, he’s been taking care of his mom (even asking her to move in with him) quite well in the aftermath. I know he looks like a serial killer, but he does seem like a really nice guy. A really nice guy who still wants an Oscar.

Photos courtesy of GQ

This is just a brief interview with Halle Berry following the Oscars. Apparently Extra named her one of the best dressed (she actually was) and was asked for her thoughts on the show, the paparazzi and her upcoming roles. Halle is also promoting that B-movie thriller she’s starring in that I keep seeing commercials for, The Call. It’s out next week and looks pretty bad. When Mario Lopez asked Halle if she was offended by the “we saw your boobs” opening skit at the Academy Awards she said she wasn’t, because people always say bad things about her basically and she’s developed thick skin. Here’s more:

“Extra’s” Mario Lopez sat down with Halle Berry and the superstar opened up about the Oscars, about life with daughter Nahla, and her new movie, “The Call.”

Mario, did not have a chance to interview Halle Berry on the red carpet of the Academy Awards, but told the star she made “Extra’s” best dressed list and asked her how she thought host Seth Macfarlane did. Mario, “What did you make of his performance?” Halle, “I think hosting that is one of the scariest things a comedian can.” She went on to say, “He did what he wanted to do. That’s his brand of comedy and people will love it and they will hate it, I thoroughly enjoyed the show…It takes so much to offend me these days after all the things that have been said about me, to me, so I didn’t feel offended by that boob song.”

What does offend, Halle, paparazzi and the pursuit of her and her daughter Nahla. Mario, “Does she ever think like it’s normal when photographers take pictures of you?” Halle, “No, it’s totally abnormal, it’s weird for her and she’s at that age where she’s questioning why and she wants to be left alone and it’s bothersome it’s scary for her.”

Halle’s new movie “The Call”, also scary, Halle plays a 911 operator desperately trying to save a kidnapped victim played by Abigail Breslin. Halle said she trained with 911 operators and listened to live calls to prepare, she also shot her own stunts. Shooting some of the movie scenes so intense that Halle ended up in the emergency room. Halle, “I get hurt almost every movie, I always want to do my own stunts, I got a little hurt, but that’s ok.”

One of the next possible roles up for Halle, reprising her role as Storm in the upcoming “X-Men: Days of Future Past, Halle, “It looks like that’s gonna happen. I love that character and people love Storm too so it will be good to be back.”

[From Extra TV]

I like what Halle said about how that’s MacFarlane’s brand of humor and what we should expect, that’s pretty much what I said about it too. Note that she then turned it around to how she’s a victim and people are always talking smack about her. She was just one actress mentioned in that skit, but it’s all about her and how she feels, not the larger context.

One actress included in that bit who was offended, and whose opinion I respect a great deal more, was Jamie Lee Curtis. She wrote a whole editorial on it for The Huffington Post if you’re interested. It wasn’t just about Jamie Lee, she thought the Oscars should be classier and that they shouldn’t be reduced to “roast” type adolescent humor. I won’t get into all that, we covered it last week, but her opinion is interesting to me in contrast to Halle’s “they always talk about me” sentiment.

In terms of the rest of Halle’s interview, it’s typical from her. She definitely hates the paparazzi and she’ll tell you about it. She used it as a premise for her bid to move to France, which has either stalled or been shot down at this point. But she’s not above calling some friendly paps when she wants us to see her on the beach with her fiance and daughter. Or at least she plays nice for them occasionally, it’s hard to tell.

Last week Kaiser mentioned that Halle’s man Olivier didn’t accompany her to the premiere of The Call in Chicago, which was strange. It’s possible they’re having trouble, especially considering who we’re talking about. There was a photo of Halle and Olivier at a My Little Pony event together with Halle’s daughter Nahla on February 9. (That’s the last photo I can find of them together.) Olivier looked pissed off, but he was a grown man at a My Little Pony show, so that may not mean much. We haven’t seen them together in a while though and they’ve been traveling separately recently.

Halle Berry is shown at the premiere of The Call on 2-28-13 and at the Oscars on 2-24-13. Credit: FameFlynet

People had very strong opinions about Seth MacFarlane’s Oscar hosting gig. Some of the jokes made me groan and shake my head, but I giggled at some of them too. Mostly, I thought Seth got a bad rap because Oscar producers tried to jam in too much stuff, which CB pointed out yesterday. Watchdog groups and professional commentators are already saying that it was the WORST Oscar telecast in years (I guess since Hathaway & Franco) and that Seth should never, ever be allowed to host again. The problem? Sunday’s Oscar telecast scored huge ratings, the best ratings in years. Is it the case of everyone watching a trainwreck? Or is something else?

Anyway, now that the controversy has happened, the question becomes: will Seth ever be asked back? Someone on Twitter asked Seth if he wanted to come back, and he had an answer: “No way. Lotta fun to have done it, though.”

[From Seth’s Twitter]

Eh. That’s what Ricky Gervais said too and then he came back to host The Golden Globes two more times, didn’t he? These event producers LOVE controversy. They love it when a Ricky Gervais or a Seth MacFarlane are still being discussed and analyzed days after the event. And they love the ratings too. My guess is that even with the cries of “sexism” etc, Seth will be asked to host again. Whether he does it… well, God knows.

I do think this awards season has given us one thing: Amy Poehler and Tina Fey co-hosting the Golden Globes. I definitely think they’ll be asked back next year, or maybe they’ll be asked to do the Oscars.

Last thing – Page Six claims that Seth was hanging out with Charlize Theron at the after-party he threw for himself. Where WAS the Khalessi?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

If there’s one word I would use to describe the Oscars, which clocked in at three hours and 35 minutes, it would be “long.” Maybe “boring” would be the second word, but just overall the show drags and that’s how it is every year. I’ve said many times that they need to put the awards for things like cinematography, visual effects, sound editing, and makeup into that other non-broadcast ceremony for technical awards (where they also moved the honorary Oscar award after a 98 year-old dude gave a three and a half minute speech in 2008). They need to tighten it up, get a single theme and stick to it, and get people in and out of there in two hours or less. That’s not going to happen, and apart from 2009, when Hugh Jackman killed it as a host in a kind of “nightclub” theme, the Oscars haven’t been very entertaining.

So this year they hired Seth MacFarlane, known for “Family Guy” and Ted. Of course he made some off color jokes that were edgy and that some would consider offensive. (Which unfortunately didn’t do much to save that bloated mess of a show. What was the theme: musicals meet modern entertainment? It didn’t go together.) Now watchdog groups are commenting on his performance, and many are offended by his jokes about women, people of color, gay people and Jewish people.

Jewish, women’s and family organizations on Monday publicly flung knives at Seth MacFarlane’s off-color Oscar show. Hollywood for the most part stayed true to form and aimed its cutlery at his back.

Post-Oscar Monday found the movie capital coming to grips with a 3-hour-35- minute ceremony that climbed in the ratings but at its best seemed to hide a great year for film behind a flurry of musical numbers, TV memories and Michelle Obama. At its worst, members of the Academy of the Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said, the ceremony trafficked in offensive humor.

“I think I’m a very liberal guy, but I actually winced,” said Lawrence Turman, an Academy member who is chairman of the Peter Stark Producing Program at the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts.

He echoed criticism that a number of people in Hollywood voiced privately, speaking on condition of anonymity to avoid complicating relations with the Academy and the show’s producers.

Mr. Turman, who described the producers, Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, as longtime friends, referred specifically to a joke by Mr. MacFarlane about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

Cathy Schulman, a producer who won a best picture Oscar in the past for “Crash” and is the president of the industry group Women in Film, took aim at a song-and-dance routine about female nudity in film. “Among the women I’ve talked to today I would say I haven’t heard from any who thought it was in good taste,” said Ms. Schulman. She expressed particular chagrin that the dance number poked fun at nudity, which is generally a difficult issue for actresses, in connection with performances that were often “wrenching and moving in many ways…”

But the post-mortems here included unease over gay jokes that began with an appearance by the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles, and frank dismay at some of the riskier humor, particularly bits that turned on gags about women and Jews.

“It is offensive, even though comedians have great latitude,” said Rabbi Marvin Hier, speaking of a skit in which Mr. MacFarlane, in character as the trash-talking teddy bear from his movie “Ted,” counseled Mark Wahlberg that it’s best to become Jewish and donate to Israel if you want to work in Hollywood. Rabbi Hier, an Academy member and dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center here, was seconding an opinion offered earlier in a statement by Abraham H. Foxman, the national director of the Anti-Defamation League. Speaking by telephone Mr. Foxman said he was particularly troubled by the “duration and intensity” of a skit that was likely, in his opinion, to be seen as reinforcing anti-Jewish stereotypes among Oscar viewers around the world.

“It wasn’t funny,” Mr. Foxman said. “It was ugly…”

Julie Burton, president of the Women’s Media Center, an organization that recently released a report on the shortage of female movie directors, said “The sexist tone throughout the show indicates a critical need for the Academy to expand its talent pool of female writers, producers and directors.” Ms. Burton added that instead of celebrating film, “the whole world saw them honoring men and mocking women.”

The Parents Television Council, a group that has been a continued critic of Mr. MacFarlane’s animated “Family Guy” series, was also harshly critical.

“The Academy Awards broadcast contained sexist, misogynistic and sexually exploitative content,” Tim Winter, the president of Parents Television Council, said in a statement. “Clearly, families are no longer a welcome part of the audience.”

Asked whether they regretted having included the number, Mr. Zadan and Mr. Meron, in a telephone interview on Monday, both answered, “No.” Mr. Zadan pointed to the show’s strong ratings, and said, “You hire Seth MacFarlane, you want something to be cutting edge and irreverent.”

Hawk Koch, the president of the Academy, did not respond for requests for comment. An Academy spokeswoman defended Mr. MacFarlane and the show’s producers in a statement.

“If the Oscars are about anything, they’re about creative freedom,” the statement said. “We think the show’s producers, Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, and host Seth MacFarlane, did a great job, and we hope our worldwide audience found the show entertaining.”

Did Mr. MacFarlane want to say anything about how he thought it went?

“Nope,” his publicist, Joy Fehily, wrote in an e-mail.

[From The NY Times]

I wasn’t offended at the jokes about women, but I run a gossip blog for a living. I did get a little uncomfortable by how long that Jewish bit went on, with the CGI Ted and Mark Wahlberg. They could have just dropped a one liner or two but they went pretty far with it. The thing is, this is Seth MacFarlane. Have people even seen one episode of Family Guy? He’s known for being really offensive, that’s his thing, and in his mind he probably toned these jokes way down for the Oscars.

Again, to me the real probably was how long and boring this was. It was also inconsistent. There was a tribute to musicals which was cool but didn’t go with the superlong tribute to Bond clip montage. (Credit for Kaiser for reminding me of that.) There were some really clever presentations in which the celebrities had some faux banter, but that only happened in about the first quarter of the show and it gave way to straight presentations for the duration. (I actually thought at first that Kristen Stewart was playing a character when she presented with Daniel Radcliffe.)

Maybe the issue is that the Oscars tried to appeal to the younger generation by having MacFarlane host and tell kind of risque jokes – for the Oscars. If you listen to any other current comedian that stuff wasn’t that out there. Then they tried to appeal to the more conservative folks with song and dance numbers. None of it went together and apart from some rare bright moments (JGL and Daniel Radcliffe dancing for one) it wasn’t particularly entertaining. This is nothing new and is how the Oscars always go. Except this year they offended people.

In the end it might not matter, the ratings for The Oscars this year were really high, and it was the most-watched “entertainment telecast” in three years. It beat out The Golden Globes and The Grammys this year, and earned ratings that put it in the top 20 Oscars of all time. So MacFarlance could be asked back.

Photo credit: WENN and Fame

When Anne Hathaway’s Nips of Doom stepped onto the Oscar red carpet, everyone was shocked to see that she was wearing a pale pink Prada (with sketchy darting). Annie was supposed to be wearing Valentino. Everybody said she would be wearing Valentino. Valentino’s people had already sent out the press releases. So a million fashion conspiracies were born! Did Anne and Valentino have a falling out? Did the original dress rip? Did Anne just want the night to be about her Nips of Doom? Well, the answer has come – E! News says that Anne decided at the last minute to change out of the Valentino because she was worried Amanda Seyfried’s McQueen gown was too similar!

When it comes to selecting the Oscar gown, it’s no surprise that quite a bit of careful analysis goes into the strategic style selection. After all, an Oscar dress on a nominee, let alone a winner, will forever be remembered in history.

So upon seeing Anne Hathaway in a blush-pink Prada design on last night’s red carpet, we couldn’t help but wonder what happened to her trademark Valentino couture loyalty. After all, the star has consistently worn the designer on countless red carpets, and even had Mr. Valentino design her wedding dress months ago.

More peculiarly, Valentino even sent out a confirmation press release earlier in the afternoon declaring that the Les Misérables actress would be donning a design from the house, and shortly thereafter Fashion Police’s George Kotsiopoulos predicted on-air during the E! Oscars preshow that she’d wear an ivory embellished gown with a high neckline by the designer.

So what happened?

A source close to the actress confirms to E! News that shortly before Hathaway stepped out on the red carpet she learned that Amanda Seyfried’s Alexander McQueen Oscar gown was strikingly similar to her selected Valentino design, and opted for the Prada dress last minute.

A quick side-by-side comparison shows that both pale gowns were embellished with beautiful delicate floral embroidery—perhaps a little too close for comfort, in the opinion of the Oscar winner.

Hathaway explained to E!’s Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet that she “didn’t know what I was wearing until about three hours ago,” and said her work schedule was to blame. “This is the one that spoke to me in the end.”

[From E! News]

You can see the Valentino design at E! News – the look was strikingly similar to Amanda’s McQueen. The biggest different was basically that Seyfried’s dress had that little “cleavage window” and the Valentino didn’t. As I think I said yesterday – this speaks more to how Sarah Burton is really screwing up the Alexander McQueen label. I seriously doubt that the late Alexander McQueen would have put a lacy, Valentino-looking gown out there… much less on Amanda Seyfried. Here’s Seyfried’s again:

After the Prada disaster, Anne changed into the grey-blue Saint Laurent gown for the parties. She looked way more comfortable and much less cloying. Speaking of “cloying,” when Anne spoke to reporters after the Oscars, she answered questions about the backlash against her “cloying” Oscar campaign:

Anne Hathaway is a world-famous movie star — and now an Oscar-winning actress — but that doesn’t mean she’s immune to insecurity. In fact, she may be more vulnerable than anyone. Though the 30-year-old star has been praised in recent months for her spectacular performance in the epic movie musical Les Miserables, she has also been criticized for what some believe is a false, cloying sense of earnestness in her awards show appearances.

Addressing the jokes about her emotional acceptance speeches after winning the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award on Feb. 24, Hathaway admitted to feeling hurt by the backlash. “It does get to me,” she confessed. “But you have to remember in life that there’s a positive to every negative and a negative to every positive. The miracle of the universe is that, as far as they know, there’s 51 percent matter versus 49 percent anti-matter — things tip in the scale of the positive,” she continued. “So that is what I focus on.”

The star — who beat out fellow nominees Sally Field, Jacki Weaver, Helen Hunt, and Amy Adams — then went on to say that she tries not to let other people’s criticism change the way she approaches her own relationships. “I live my life with love,” she explained. “I live my life with compassion. I live my life hoping the best for absolutely everyone, no matter how they feel about me. And when you live that way, it’s amazing how beautiful every day can be.”

[From Us Weekly]

For the love of God, Anne. “The miracle of the universe is that, as far as they know, there’s 51 percent matter versus 49 percent anti-matter — things tip in the scale of the positive.” STFU!!! I love her and everything, but don’t you want to see her tip her head back and yell, “Haters gonna hate, suck on my Oscar, bitches”? I don’t know why she thinks that we’ll only accept this cloying, too-sweet version – show some spunk, show some chutzpah. And for the love of God, stop talking in that gaspy little-girl voice.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Does anyone else think it’s very, very interesting that Liberty Ross came out for Sunday’s Vanity Fair Oscar party? She had to know that Kristen Stewart was going to present at the Oscars (that was known for days) and she had to know that Kristen was on crutches (that was known since Saturday I think). So while Kristen grunted, slumped, eye-rolled and greased her way through the Oscars, Liberty was taking off her bra (and her panties, probably) and slipping into this ridiculous little black dress and showing her nips to everyone at the VF party. Needless to say, K-Stew didn’t make it to the VF party. Poor Trampire! As for Liberty’s dress – this sh-t is tacky. I think Liberty is really pretty and she has an amazing body, but… God, this is TACKY.

Naomi Campbell in a midnight-blue velvet gown, which she wore to all of the post-Oscar parties. She looks good!

Zoe Saldana in black Givenchy – she changed after the Oscars, because apparently she’s some huge star and major fashion girl and people just demand to see her in something else? What’s funny is that this gown looks so, SO cheap. Like, is this a poly-blend? What’s with the dust ruffle?

Julie Bowen in Max Azria Atelier. Judging Julie on her own scale of the kind of fug styling she usually goes for, I think this look is a total win. Yes, the dress is kind of annoying (I find the lace to be super-precious), but she looks good and her styling has improved a lot. I think her hair and makeup look especially good.

CB thought Amber Heard was Allison Williams – they do look alike, right? Amber looks so different every time I see her – these days she’s doing the ombre hair which is kind of leaving me cold. This Versace dress is boring too.

Solange in Emilio Pucci – the same canary yellow shade that Jane Fonda wore! I like the color on Solange more, but… her styling is meh.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Some Vanity Fair Oscar party photos came in later on Monday, so long story short… we’re still doing some catch-up Oscar coverage! It’s nothing major, just the party photos! Let’s begin with Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson just because they’re so adorable and happy and dear God, don’t you want her to get pregnant? Diane is wearing this absolutely enchanting Giambattista Valli mullet dress which would not work on nearly anyone else, but on Diane it’s great. She looks kind of 1960s, right? But it’s perfect. She did it perfectly. And Joshua is always adorable.

Next couple: Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber. Naomi Watts changed out of her Armani Oscar gown into this Emilio Pucci party gown. This dress looks way more comfortable… but I think I might like the Armani better? Weird, right?

Kate Bosworth and Michael Polish. She’s wearing Giambattista Valli too. I actually like her dress a lot, I just hate the styling and her whole vibe of “PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.”

Gina Carano and Henry Cavill. Again, I guess I’m the only one all over this couple. They’re so sexy together. But at this point, we’re going to have to do an intervention for Gina with that black hose and her consistently awful open-toe shoes. Dear Gina: Love you, but STOP IT. Her dress is Narciso Rodriguez – it would look cuter without the hose and shoes.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kaiser and I were on phone yesterday trying to coordinate Oscar party coverage after we realized that one of our photo agencies had released their Vanity Fair party pics in stages, and we’d missed the second wave. We were so tired we decided to cover these people today, hence these additional photos. One of the things we talked about was who bugged us the most at the Oscars. Kaiser was saying Zoe Saldana, because Zoe wore two dresses and seemed to be seeking attention, but I say Zoe pales in comparison to Olivia Munn here. At least Zoe was a presenter and had some kind of excuse.

Olivia, on the other hand, showed up for whatever reason looking like she was about to pop out of her Oscar Marchesa monstrosity (that dress is over here) with chest spillage that was approaching Brandi Glanville levels. When she changed up for the Vanity Fair party, and of course she changed, she wore this peach beaded Versace Atelier number that showed skin all over the place. I don’t know where to start with this dress, so I’ll let it speak for itself. You guys can probably come up with better adjectives than me, with “trashy” being at the top of my list.

In contrast we have Kate Beckinsale, who almost always wears ball gowns and overdoes it, but at least she’s not pulling back her hair, slapping on some cheap lipgloss, putting on her best wide-eyed “oh me?” look and showing us her goods. Ok I got that out of my system, thanks! Getting back to Kate, she’s so lovely and we know what we’re getting with her. She wasn’t at the Oscars this year but she came to the Vanity Fair Oscar party and classed up the joint. She was in a strapless black Monique Lhuillier gown with gold details. I like the geometric design on her gown but find the skirt a little too much. It’s the Oscars Vanity Fair party, it’s appropriate.

I’ll be damned, is Hillary Swank wearing the same red dress that Sally Field wore to the Oscars?! It’s also by the same designer, Valentino, and Hilary’s dress is sheer while Sally’s was much more opaque. The draping around the bodice and arms is very similar, as is the way the skirt falls into a long train. (Although Sally’s dress was more ruffled.) I’m not a fan of that sheer skirt over a mini combo and think that Sally’s dress worked better.

Valentino is the designer whom Anne Hathaway is chummy with, headed by the oompa loompa dude, and Anne ditched her Valentino Oscar gown at the last minute for that nipply Prada. Here we have two actresses at Oscar events in strikingly similar dresses from the same fashion house. I’m not an insider by any means, but this shouldn’t happen should it? As it turns out, Anne rejected that Valentino for being to similar to another gown, Amanda Seyfried’s Alexander McQueen. (Kaiser talked about that here.) So Valentino royally screwed up this awards season.

Again, Sally Field’s dress. It’s too close for comfort for me. I would be pissed if I was either of these women.

photo credit: WENN.com

Amanda Seyfried managed to surprise at the Vanity Fair Oscar party by changing out of her beloved, custom-made Alexander McQueen gown, which I found odd at first since it’s so rare to find Amanda in a red carpet dress that her stylist didn’t make her wear. But I do believe we’ve found the secret to Amanda’s sartorial happiness — dresses that are made just for her. Hence this tomato-red, custom-made Givenchy haute couture gown that Amanda seems quite pleased to be wearing.

I don’t hate this dress, and I even kind of like it to an extent. To begin, the color looks amazing next to Amanda’s pale skin, and the fabric is very interesting. The full skirt carries a certain charm, and the waist (the belt is kind of cool) and bust cut are very flattering to our girl’s body. Where things get a little bit sketchy are with hints of bondage-like details of the straps and built-in-choker. Of course, this is an unusual, one-of-a-kind dress for which (presumably) Amanda had a good deal of input, so I’m going to go with it. This dress looks good on Amanda, but I can’t think of another person who could get away with wearing it. Her makeup looks great, and the swept-back hair is just right too.

Isla Fisher looked gorgeous in a cobalt blue Monique Lhuillier dress that perfectly set off her ginger hair. The dress looks great from the front, and the fabric and train are quite lovely, but the way that the backless part of the dress is cut leaves much to be desired. Isla looks cute but worried that the dress might fall down. Or am I just imagining that part?

Minnie Driver went silver with a plunging neckline, but it’s not nearly as scandalous as Heidi Klum’s Oscar-party boob dress because Minnie’s pretty small busted compared to Heidi. So it’s no big deal that Minnie’s doing it. Remember when she was the “it” girl in the days of Good Will Hunting and Grosse Point Blank? Minnie’s still as gorgeous as always here.

Marisa Tomei (for whatever reason) chose to wear a taupe-colored, beaded pantsuit. This outfit is so shapeless and would be unflattering on pretty much everyone, but Marisa looks really good from the shoulders up.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Selena Gomez worked it at the Vanity Fair Oscar party in a very adventurous nude Atelier Versace gown with bustier detail. She’s been attempting to grow up right before our very eyes for a couple of years now, and even though Selena is 20 years old, that baby face will probably haunt her for the rest of her life. When she’s 50, she’ll be able to laugh at all of us with our adult-looking visages, but for now, Selena will suffer the wrath of her own beautiful cherub likeness. Certainly, there are worse things to endure, but I can understand why it must be frustrating to not be able to push past her teenage image.

In very recent days, Selena’s mixed up some grown-up looks with a cute Gucci dress and a sexy Atelier Versace suit, but she doesn’t have as much luck with this dress. For one thing, her rack looks conspiciously larger than usual in those bustier cups. Can I start a rumor about a possible Selena boob job here? Done. Seriously though (and to borrow a term from Kaiser), has Selena invested in some bolt-ons to make herself appear more mature? I couldn’t say for sure, but her girls are suspiciously out there in a big way. Similarly, I also feel like those Lorraine Schwartz earrings are completely out of place, and some silver dangles would have been more appropriate. Her makeup looks good though — she’s so pretty. Obviously, I’m quite distracted by the boob mystery at hand. Witness:

Vanessa Hudgens tried her very hardest to bring it in this shimmering, bronze Moschino gown with Jacob & Co. jewels. I think she succeeds here, don’t you? She’s a very cute girl, and this dress looks great on her figure. Her hair and makeup are both youthful and slightly glamourous, and I think Vanessa is one of the rare people who can get alway with a bold, red lip color. Yes, this is a win for Vanessa! If I were to hit a red carpet, I’d probably wear a dress just like this. Then I’d trip and fall just like JLaw.

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend looked adorable together as always. I can’t find a designer ID on this gown anywhere and even trolled through her Twitter page only to find a photo of Sally Field standing on the dress. I tweeted Chrissy for the designer ID; she didn’t tweet me back, but she did follow me. Sadly, she might unfollow me if she ever learns that I don’t understand this gown at all. The black column skirt is sophisticated, but the gold top half is quite perplexing. Clearly, there’s a mesh overlay involved with the illusion effect, but it makes me cross my eyes trying to figure it out. Can I call this a statement dress? Is that allowed? So be it. I love Chrissy, but I’ll freely admit that she has much better taste in food than VF party dresses.

Alessandra Ambrosio wore a really awful gold, sheer gown by Zuhair Murad. There is so much going on here that I don’t see how anyone could point out a good aspect to this dress. It looks like a kaleidoscope threw up all over toilet paper. It’s completely awful, and not even a Victoria’s Secret model can get away with this mess.

Photos courtesy of WENN