Britney Spears is clearly doing whatever she can to make her life as difficult as possible. While it often seems she’s doing it for attention, she’s also doing it because she’s an idiot. Yeah I know you were looking for something a little more profound on that last one. A psychologist would probably say that she’s subconsciously sabotaging herself for some reason. Probably true. But that girl doesn’t have two IQ points to rub together. She’s not just emotionally immature, she’s flat-out dumb. Britney’s lawyers can’t handle her immature, self-centered behavior, and are about to quit. If they do, it’ll be the third round of lawyer’s Brit’s gone through since her divorce started.

The high-powered firm of Trope and Trope filed legal papers today asking to withdraw as Brit’s hired guns in her custody dispute with K-Daddy.

In the legal papers, attorney Tara Scott from Trope and Trope wrote, “There has been a breakdown in communications between [Britney] and Trope and Trope making further representation of her interests impossible.” Ding dang wha?!

No word on whether Brit has a new lawyer. You may recall, disso-queen Laura Wasser quit Brit last year as well. Representing a popwreck can be a bitch!

UPDATE: Sources tell TMZ the reason Trope and Trope withdrew is because Britney just didn’t listen to her lawyers’ advice, and her behavior was generally sinking her case.

[From TMZ]

Celebitchy also pointed out that Brit also may be facing jail time as a result of her immature, lazy behavior. She’s failed to show up to multiple depositions recently, and it’s been noted that she could be held in contempt of court if she missed another one. OK reports that Brit blew of (what I’m guessing will be) her final deposition this morning.

As first reported by OK!, following her decision on Wednesday to blow off her second court-ordered — and seventh in total — deposition in her custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline, Britney Spears was given one final chance to make good on her legal responsibilities. All she had to do was show up today at 9:45am PT to give her deposition.
And yet, as off 10:20am PT, she had not arrived at the office of K-Fed’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan.

[From OK! Magazine]

Where exactly is Brit? According to OK, she did leave her house sometime around 10:25. Keep in mind that means she left at least an hour after she should have, to safely be at the lawyer’s office by 9:45. But did she end up going there? Nope. A few minutes after she left, she turned around and headed back home. OK reported that Brit only has until 10:30 before Kaplan goes straight to the judge and asks him to give K-Fed permanent custody. This makes eight depositions Britney Spears has blown off. After such a ridiculous history, I’m guessing the judge will give serious consideration to Kaplan’s request.

Britney seems hell-bent on proving to everyone that no one can tell her what to do. The problem is that pretty much everyone else in the world realizes that no matter who you are, there are a few people who can boss you around no matter what – and judges are one of them. Britney’s much more concerned with her own “freedom” and out of control ego than she is with her kids. Someone like that won’t ever mature to the point that she’d be a good mom. Hopefully she’ll lose her kids for the long haul, and then she can have all the freedom she wants.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Britney on Dec. 23rd, the night she slept with that married paparazzi. Does anyone else thing her smile isn’t so much “joyful” as it is “psychopathic?” . Images thanks to Splash Photos.

The other day I was really bored, so I stripped off all my clothes in my trailer and took some naked pictures that were only meant to be seen by me. And really, who hasn’t? One of our God-given rights as Americans (or whatever nationality you are – it doesn’t matter, this is a God-given right) is to take private nudie photos whenever you’re bored and know that there will never be any repercussions. If anything, people should respect you more for it. Shockingly, when “High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens did the exact same thing in her trailer, there was a bit of a scandal. I have no idea why that didn’t happen with my photos. Probably because Vanessa’s boobs are about 2 feet higher than mine. Reason 232,388 that I hate her.

Poor Vanessa – who apparently thinks the scandal that resulted from the release of her naked photos was some kind of trauma inflicted upon her, instead of something she did to herself – has rallied, and gave a heart-wrenching interview to Seventeen magazine talking about that devastating time in her life.

“I’m much better now,” the High School Musical star, 18, tells Seventeen magazine for its February issue. “But truthfully I don’t like talking about it.” She now says of the intimate posing session, “It was something that was meant to be private, and even though it isn’t anymore, I’d still like to keep it as private as I can.”

Of the tempest that the pictures caused, she says, “It was very traumatic, and I am extremely upset it happened. I hope all my fans can learn from my mistake and make smart decisions. But I wouldn’t have been able to get through it if it wasn’t for my family, friends and fans, who supported me all along the way.”

Asked how she had been informed that the photos had gone public, Hudgens answers, “I found out from my manager. We heard some story was going to break in the tabloids, and I was like, What?!? A few days later, the picture came out while I Was on vacation in Australia. Thank God, I wasn’t home – it would have sucked if I was at home. So I got to be away from L.A. for about a millisecond. But when I came back, it got kind of crazy.”

[From People]

Who in the world would have guessed that a young celebrity taking naked photos of herself could have ended up in a scandal? If I were famous, I’d make it my job to make sure that I was in clothes 110% of the time. I would become a Never Nude (bonus points if you catch the reference) and wear jean shorts and a tank top in the shower. What’s the most important lesson Vanessa Hudgens has learned from all this?

“With the Internet these days, you don’t have a personal life. Nothing is private: Everyone knows everything, and they can find out everything about you. You’re not as safe as you think you are, and you have to be aware of the people you’re around.”

[From People]

Is Vanessa saying she’s learned not to email naked photos of herself? She’s sorta vague, but I’m going to interpret her quote the most salacious way possible, and read it that she’s learned that emailing her naked photos is not nearly as safe as she thought it was. JayBird’s goal for next week: only email half of the naked photos I did this week. Thank you, Vanessa Hudgens, for teaching me such a difficult lesson.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s a rare photo of Vanessa with her clothes on at the 2007 American Music Awards. Images thanks to PR Photos. Click here for the NSFW photos.

Let the conspiracy theories commence. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are reportedly trying to have another baby. The two have had no luck in the supposedly second attempt to impregnate Katie with the seed of Tom.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are reportedly seeking medical advice following a series of failed attempts to conceive a second child.

[Contact Music]

After the miracle of Suri, Tom and Katie want a biological boy to add to the clan. They have been trying to conceive since this summer according to sources. Holmes feels that having a son for Tom is “what she wants more than anything.” I guess she forgot about Connor. Nice way to show your love for someone who you claim calls you “mom.”

The fact that she has been unable to produce another Cruise offspring in the last 5 months has worried her. The two sat down and decided to take Katie to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles to get the problem identified and solved. (Yes, that is the same hospital where Dennis Quaid’s infant twins nearly died of an overdose.)

Yes, I am sure Katie is the problem here. Being that Tom is 45 and creepy probably isn’t a factor. I know being creepy doesn’t have anything to do with potency, but I am sure Katie’s eggs are hiding in fear. Let’s not forget the fact that he and Nicole had the same problems getting knocked up. I smell a dirty plot afoot!

Picture note by Celebitchy: Katie Holmes is shown looking like she’s going to a business meeting, but she’s really just trying to look fierce while she’s out spending Tom’s money on designer luxuries she won’t wear for more than a few hours out of her privileged life. There was speculation after the Bambi awards that Katie might be pregnant after she was seen with a tiny amount of bloat, but these photos from 12/22 show that she’s probably not. Thanks to Splash News.

As sad as it is, I think it’s really good that more and more public figures are coming out and talking about their battles with mental illness. It takes the stigma off of it, and lets the rest of us know that we shouldn’t feel ashamed or alone, and that everyone, no matter how successful, goes through times of struggle. Nicole Richie’s ex-fiancé, DJ AM (nee Adam Goldstein) recently gave an interview to Glamour magazine in which he talks about his past struggles with drugs, alcohol, obesity, and depression. Goldstein says his addictions and mental illness had gotten so out of hand that he tried to kill himself, putting a loaded gun into his mouth.

Addicted to crack cocaine, overweight, and miserable, “at 24 I felt like my life was over,” the hot Hollywood deejay, who has dated Nicole Richie and Mandy Moore, tells Glamour magazine.

“I went into my living room, reached into a cabinet above my TV and grabbed my gun, a loaded .22,” recalls the now 34-year-old. “I sat back on my heels, cocked it and put it into my mouth. I pulled the trigger. The gun didn’t go off. I thought, ‘Are you kidding me? I’m such an [expletive] failure I can’t even kill myself? I dropped the gun and broke down. That was the turning point in my life.”

[From People]

After that, DJ AM went into a recovery program where he worked on his addictions and began watching what he ate and exercising. Though he relapsed three months later, he started over again, knowing that his only options were to “recover or die.” He eventually had gastric bypass surgery, and has maintained both his sobriety and his weight loss.

“I no longer needed a trophy girlfriend or drugs to feel good about myself,” he says. “It’s been nine and a half years since I’ve had a drink or taken drugs. But every day I have to remind myself that no matter how much time I have behind me, I’m still a drug addict. At any given moment, I’m five seconds away from walking up to someone, grabbing their drink out of their hand and downing it. And if I do that, within a week, tops, I’ll be smoking crack.”

[From People]

Goldstein, who is equally known for his on-again, off-again relationship with Nicole Richie (who’s no stranger to drug addictions and weight issues herself), seems to be appreciative of what he has. Whenever his ego gets a little too big, he says, “I have to remind myself [that I’m] a fat crackhead who’s lucky to be alive.”

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s DJ AM at the Paris and Nicky Hilton-hosted New Year’s Eve 2008 Party at LAX Nightclub in Las Vegas. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Surprise! Nickelodeon Pulls the Plug On Jamie Lynn’s Zoey 101 [Yeeeah!]
Posh has banned about half of the UK’s glitterati from the Spice Girls concerts [Dlisted]
Someone has got to talk to Coco about the camel toe [Bossip]
The 12 best films you didn’t see this year [Pajiba]
Mira Sorvino’s looking a little haggard [Celebslam]
Sarah Michelle Gellar And Freddie Prinze Jr looking cute surfing [I’m Not Obsessed]
Alessandra Ambrosio at the beach [The Bastardly]
Eric Dane has naked girl tattoo removed. Oh, to be a tattoo on Eric Dane… [In Case You Didn’t Know]
Kourtney Kardashian at the beach. Yuck. (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
Tom Cruise is in danger of going broke [Hollywood Rag]
Is Nicole Kidman pregnant or is it the wind? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Woody Allen’s latest film, Cassandra’s Dream, will go straight to the DVD bin [Agent Bedhead]
Christina Milian in a bikini [The Blemish]
Kate Moss Nude Pictures [CityRag]
Random Celeb Photos [Crazy Days and Nights]
Mischa Barton Brings Her Serious Sad Face to Church [Popsugar]
Another blow to feminism: Paris and Britney Opening Strip Clubs? [The Grumpiest]
Britney’s Deposition Lasted 13 Minutes [Evil Beet]
Carrie Underwood likes to be the only girl in the room [Gabsmash]
Kim Kardashian’s still sporting a 7-carat ring on her left hand, despite claiming she’s not engaged [CelebWarship]
Josh Duhamel and Fergie take the weirdest beach pictures I’ve ever seen [I Don’t Like You In That Way]
Mel Gibson Looks A Lot Older Than 52 [Glitterati Gossip]
Are Paula Patton & Robin Thicke Expecting Their First Child Together? [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Katherine Heigl Gestures Dramatically While Shopping [A Socialite’s Life]
Eddie Murphy’s Wedding Pictures [Just Jared]
Lindsay Lohan’s Slutcapades Continue [Egotastic!]
Celebs donate specs go for a good cause [Lifeline Live]
Project Runway Is Fun Again… And No One Is Watching to Care Enough [Best Week Ever]

Cops called when Britney refused to hand over children
Just when you think that Britney Spears can’t get any more crazy she goes and tops herself. America’s favorite trainwreck just managed to bring more attention to herself while ensuring that her kids are scarred for life. She refused to hand over her boys to her ex Kevin Federline’s bodyguard at 7 pm as scheduled after their visit at her Studio City Los Angeles home. The cops were called an hour later to mediate the dispute and they ended up staying four hours while a media circus gathered outside. There were news and police helicopters, nine police cars, three fire engines, multiple paparazzi cars and three ambulances. There was no violence or injuries on the scene, according to the LAPD.

Britney taken to hospital for “evaluation” and was under the influence
Paramedics were in Britney’s house at 11 p.m. to “treat” her, but doesn’t seem that there was anything wrong with her besides the usual, and photos show her smiling and sitting up on the gurney. Police said she was detained as she was under the influence of an unknown substance. Britney was wheeled out of her house on a gurney, smiling maniacally. She arrived at Cedars-Sinai medical center at 12:30 this morning and is on a “medical hold” while her mental state is evaluated. She could be in the hospital for 72 hours as they try to diagnose what’s wrong with her.

Jayden James, 1, is in the hospital for unknown reasons. Sean Preston is with K-Fed
Sadly, at least one child was said to be in another ambulance accompanying her to the hospital, according to E! Online, but it seems as if they may have been using the ambulance to transport one of the tots since the police say there were no injuries. CNN reported that both Jayden James, 1, and Sean Preston, 2, were returned to Federline’s custody after the incident, but additional reports have Jayden in the hospital.

Pop star Britney Spears was taken to hospital for tests to see if she was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and for a psychological evaluation after police were called to her home Thursday night to mediate a custody dispute, a police spokesman said.

Spears appeared to be conscious as she was rolled out of her Studio City home on a gurney about three hours after police and ambulances arrived there.

The children were returned to their father, Kevin Federline, who has primary legal custody of the two sons, a police spokesman said.

Doctors at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles will decide whether to invoke a California law that allows a patient to be held for psychological evaluation for 72 hours, the police spokesman said.

Aerial video provided by local television station helicopters showed Spears on a stretcher and surrounded by police and paramedics as it was rolled to an ambulance near her home.

[From CNN]

K-Fed’s lawyer went to Britney’s house with court order, she just wanted to keep kids overnight
This story is a bit confusing to me due to the ongoing custody battle between Britney and K-Fed. Britney has visitation rights and Kevin has full legal custody, but why did Britney chose to hold onto the boys at this time? She was 90 minutes late to a court-ordered deposition that morning, and didn’t miss it as we first reported. She could only be questioned for 14 minutes. Maybe she realized at that point that she’s about to lose even supervised visits with her children and decided to stage a last stand off. K-Fed’s attorney did go to Britney’s house after she refused to hand over the children and was seen carrying papers that were thought to be the court order to show police. The court order could have just been the proof that the children should be with K-Fed and wasn’t necessarily new. K-Fed’s lawyer left before Britney was wheeled out.

Britney’s lawyer, who just quit on Wednesday, said “In a normal case when someone shows up with a certified court order saying the kids need to be somewhere else, the police see to it that the order is obeyed. But that is in a normal case.”

He meant that’s with a normal person didn’t he? If Britney wasn’t about to lose visits with her boys before, it seems like she is now. Maybe that’s what she wanted all along.

Update: E! Online reported that one child was transported in an ambulance, and Page Six says it was Jayden James:

Brit’s divorce attorney, legal ace and saint Anne Kiley drove Sean P. to Federline’s house and Jayden James has been taken to the hospital.

[From Page Six]

TMZ confirms that report that Jayden is in the hospital, but it is not known why.

Page Six also says that Britney was “hysterical and just want[ed] to keep the kids overnight.” She has also lost a lot of weight recently or something. I haven’t seen it, but whatever:

Our very well placed source has also told us that the stress and mental anguish of the ongoing custody battle and deposition has caused Spears to “lose a tremendous amount of weight in the past several weeks.”

Story details from Reuters, TMZ, MTV, CNN, and E! Online.

Photos from TMZ and Splash News.

Yesterday Celebitchy mentioned that Lindsay Lohan was honored for her “contribution to film,” at the Capri Hollywood International Film Festival. Lohan spent most of her time in Italy whoring around with various men and being photographed… whoring around with various men. She gave a fairly gracious speech at the film festival when she accepted her award… though you’d think she was accepting her much-coveted Oscar, rather than an award from a festival few have ever heard of. Either way, she came off as shockingly classy… though that’s probably because our expectations of Lindsay Lohan are so low. But she eventually reverted to good ‘ol LiLo, after she was taped swigging from a champagne bottle a few minutes later on the dance floor. Stay classy, Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan suffered a setback in her sobriety over New Year’s, but is back on track, her lawyer said Thursday. A video of the actress drinking champagne directly from a bottle while in Capri, Italy, hit the Internet Thursday, first appearing on TMZ.com.

“After being handed a champagne bottle while on a dance floor in Italy on New Year’s Eve and drinking from it, the good news is that Lindsay stopped herself, called her sponsor, and got herself back on track,” her lawyer, Blair Berk, tells PEOPLE. “There is no magic cure here. The most unfortunate part of this is that Lindsay has to share her ‘one day at a time’ with the entire world.”

Lohan was in Italy to receive an award at the 12th Annual Capri Hollywood International Film Festival. In a video, she is seen thanking organizers for inviting her to the festival, giving a shout out to John Malkovich, then later taking a swig from a bottle of champagne while on the dance floor.”

[From People]

How unfortunate that the first – and only – time Lindsay Lohan has had a setback in her recovery, it just happens to be caught on tape? I’m sure she’s done nothing but walk the straight and narrow since completing – what was it, her nineteenth? – round of recovery. Considering all the reports that LiLo is broke, maybe she was just drinking the champagne because it was free. A girl’s got to get her calories somehow.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Thanks to TMZ for the header image. Here’s the brief video of Lohan drinking, also from TMZ:

High School Musical’s onscreen and offscreen couple, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, have parted ways. Zac, 20, is said to have broken the news to Vanessa, 19, over the phone just a week before Christmas. He had given her a brand new Audi S4 convertible as a birthday present on December 14, just a few days before he broke up with her. Maybe it was one of those guilt gifts:

Zac… phoned Vanessa about a week before Christmas and told her he was ending their relationship. She was stunned and upset, a source close to them confided.

“They’ve been together for a long time, and he didn’t even call her to wish her a Merry Christmas. She was crushed!” a source close to the teen idols told The Enquirer.

Vanessa was blindsided by the breakup because Zac had just given her a brand-new car - that matched his - for her 19th birthday, which was Dec. 14.

But the sleek black Audi S4 convertible ended up being a parting gift, says the source.

“Zac wants to move on, start seeing other girls. He’s had no shortage of women hitting him up to become Vanessa’s replacement. Zac’s got enough numbers to fill a phone book!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 14, 2008]

The Enquirer goes on to say that Vanessa has been coping by hanging out with her co-star and new nosejob recipient Ashley Tisdale. The two teens have been seen out shopping, getting fast food, and hitting the gym together.

They also note that Vanessa wore a T-shirt to LA Fitness on December 26 that said “Love Stinks!” It often does, especially when you’re young. Vanessa won’t have much trouble finding a replacement if she wants one, and we’re all likely to hear about it.

JayBird reported yesterday that Vanessa called her nude picture scandal “traumatic” and went on to blame the Internet for her lack of privacy. She should really learn not to e-mail naked photos of herself then, as JayBird pointed out. Now she doesn’t have to send her potential suitors naked pictures, though. All they have to do is google to see the goods, and surely that will work out to her advantage.

Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale pre-nosejob are shown at the High School Musical 2 DVD screening on 11/19/07, thanks to WENN and PRPhotos. Ashley looked so much better before. Also look at how happy Ashley and Vanessa look while Zac is just brooding.

Update: These two showed up at an event together on January 5th, so if they were broken up they’re either back together or acting like they are.

We reported yesterday that Britney Spears is said to have told her pregnant 16-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn, not to marry her baby’s daddy and end up like her. That story was first covered by The Enquirer, and now they have a follow up that states that Britney also recommended that Jamie Lynn get an abortion. She wasn’t aware of how far along her sister was at that point, though, and is said to regret giving her that advice. Jamie Lynn’s mother Lynne is also said to have told her daughter not to carry the baby to term.

When Britney learned Jamie Lynn’s baby news, she called and had a showdown with her sister, telling her “not to ruin her life by going through with the pregnancy,” said a source.

“Britney told Jamie Lynn it was best for her to get an abortion and move on with her life and career and not to look back.”

But Jamie Lynn, who is due March 7, told Britney she is going to keep the baby and that she is making her “own decision and not letting anyone tell her to get rid of the baby.”

Britney began crying, could barely speak and quickly hung up the phone, says the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 14, 2008]

It sounds to me like The Enquirer knew that Britney told Jamie Lynn not to get married or have the baby and that they broke the story up into two parts for maximum impact.

It’s entirely plausible that Britney said this. The baby gift basket Britney bought her sister is rumored to be a peace offering after she felt guilty for recommending an abortion.

Jamie Lynn is said to be due on March 7 and to be expecting a baby girl. That would make her seven months’ pregnant, as commentors pointed out, not six as we incorrectly reported before. It sounds as if Jamie Lynne may have deliberately kept the news from her mother until it was too late for her to safely have an abortion. Obviously she decided to keep the baby against the advice of her family. Given the quotes from Jamie Lynn, it sounds like this baby wasn’t entirely an accident. She may have deliberately “forgotten” to take precautions, and indeed she is quoted as saying “Whatever happens, happens” when asked in an interview about her future plans, including children.

There is speculation that the father of Jamie Lynn’s baby is an older producer on her now probably-canceled tween show Zoey 101. The unknown adult would surely face statutory rape charges if he did father her baby.

This whole story is just sad, especially considering Britney’s very public meltdown early this morning. When you think about it, though, she had a lot of motivation to act like such a twat. Her sister is all over the papers and she’s not getting much press for her average wacky antics. Getting the focus back on Britney required a whole new level of crazy, and she brought it.

Header image is an older one of Britney during her first pregnancy and Jamie Lynn, thanks to Splash News.

Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from her husband of a whole two months, Rick Salomon, on December 14th of last year. Then she tried to take it back, saying simply on her blog that “We’re working things out.” Things didn’t work out so well for Pam and Rick. She filed for divorce again just two weeks later and managed to beat her three month divorce record with musician Kid Rock from 2006.

In the second set of divorce papers Anderson listed their marriage as lasting from 10/6 to 12/13. That means it was really only a week that they tried to make it work and then gave up again. That’s not enough time to go through couples’ therapy, although from Anderson’s marriage record it seems that individual therapy might also be in order.

The papers were served two weeks after Anderson first filed for divorce from Salomon, a decision she rescinded just a few hours later with a blog post that they were “working things out.”

Seen alone on New Year’s Eve, Anderson recently blogged on her site: “2007 was an interesting year for me. What’s the definition of insanity? This is the year I do everything I wanted to do – my way… I’m going to be proud of every single day – and make sure I do not veer from the path.”

Anderson, 40, stated in her divorce request that she and Salomon were married from Oct. 6 to Dec. 13.

[From US Weekly]

In her blog she seemed to say that it was foolish to try and make it work with Salomon, saying “What’s the definition of insanity?,” the answer to which is usually “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” In Anderson’s case that means getting married, so maybe this will be the last divorce we hear about from her for a while. She probably still thinks the problem lies with her chosen mates, though, and not with herself.

Anderson can quote all the dimestore psychology she wants, and say that she’s making a change with this divorce, but really it’s just status quo for her to get a divorce. She doesn’t seem the most self-aware person in the world. She’ll probably say she’s making a change for the better later this year when she divorces her next husband - just in time to publicize her latest Vegas act.