When Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara split in 2023, I pretty much took her side. That was well before we knew that Joe had significant health issues, and back then, I believed that Sofia wanted out of the marriage because she was in her early 50s and in no mood to be a mother again, while Joe wanted fatherhood. Like, I believed that was the root of their divorce and I defended Sofia’s right to stand her ground and not have motherhood foisted upon her. Now that Joe has written a memoir and is seemingly setting the record straight about his marriage, I don’t know where to come down. Joe paints a portrait of Sofia as cruel, uncaring and unsupportive as an autoimmune disorder ravaged his health. I think it’s possible that Sofia tapped out of being a caretaker to an ill husband at some point. I also think it’s possible that Joe is twisting certain stories to make Sofia the bad guy.
Well, over the weekend, Sofia’s son Manolo posted an Instagram Story about narcissistic men versus “normal men.” Sofia reposted it on her IG. I’m including the post below. It just so happened that Joe appeared on CBS Mornings on Monday, and Gayle King asked him directly about all of this:
Joe Manganiello is addressing recent rumors stemming from a social media post. The actor appeared on CBS Mornings on Monday, Oct. 12, to promote his memoir Bloodlines about his near-fatal autoimmune disorder, when Gayle King asked him about a recent Instagram Story from his ex-wife Sofía Vergara.
The Modern Family alum, 54, had reposted a chart to Instagram comparing the behavior of a “good man” to a “narcissistic man.” It was originally shared by her son, Manolo Gonzalez Vergara, 35.
Under the chart were the words, “Remember kids, when dealing with a narcissist, it doesn’t matter how much you do for them, because they will resent you for it and nothing will ever be enough, and they’ll always somehow try to paint you as the bad guy.”
Referencing Vergara’s post, King said to Manganiello: “Her son posted a thing about, ‘This is what happens when you deal with a narcissistic man,’ and she has liked that post. They appear to be saying that basically, it’s terrible what happened to you but the bottom line is that you’re a narcissist. What do you say to that?”
Manganiello, 49, replied: “Well, I think anybody who said that should read the book first and understand what the book is actually about because it’s not about that. It’s about the suffering I went through.”
Bloodlines, he said, is about “survival and it’s also about hope.“
Yeah, I’m still going back-and-forth. You have to understand, Sofia Vergara became America’s Sweetheart during Modern Family’s run – she was the highest-paid woman on television at the time, and she became a household name with a huge following. People absolutely love her, and I do feel like Joe is really trying to tarnish her crown and/or take her down several pegs. Like, that’s absolutely an element here, even if his stories are completely true. Is that narcissism? I feel like narcissism is becoming a catch-all armchair diagnosis for a lot of more complicated issues. Incidentally, I’d still like clarity on the Bubbles issue, because Sofia said for years that Bubbles was her dog and Joe completely destroyed that story.
Joe Manganiello opens up to @GayleKing about how his life-threatening health battle affected his marriage to ex-wife Sofía Vergara, including a moment he writes about in his memoir, when he says she refused to give him a hug.
The actor also responds to criticism from Vergara’s son, who appeared to call him a narcissist, saying people should “read the book first.”
— CBS Mornings (@CBSMornings) October 12, 2026
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Sofia’s Instagram.
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- , Los Angeles, CA -20200106 – The 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards – Arrivals, at The Beverly Hilton -PICTURED: Joe Manganiello, Sofia Vergara -PHOTO by: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Startraks Photo for licensing fee and rights information at sales@startraksphoto.com or call +1 212 414 9464 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Startraks Photo reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded Featuring: Joe Manganiello, Sofia Vergara Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 05 Jan 2020 Credit: Sara De Boer/startraksphoto.com
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- WEST HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – JUNE 28: American actor Joe Manganiello arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere Of AMC+’s Original Series ‘Moonhaven’ held at the The London Hotel West Hollywood at Beverly Hills on June 28, 2022 in West Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 703713068, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Joe Manganiello, Credit line: Xavier Collin / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – JUNE 28: Joe Manganiello attends AMC+ Original Series “Moonhaven” Premiere Event at The London West Hollywood at Beverly Hills on June 28, 2022 in West Hollywood, California.,Image: 703766430, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Joe Manganiello, Credit line: Jeffrey Mayer / Avalon
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- BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 12: (L-R) Joe Manganiello and Sofia Vergara attend the 2023 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Radhika Jones at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on March 12, 2023 in Beverly Hills, California.,Image: 762893116, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Joe Manganiello, Sofia Vergara, Credit line: Jeffrey Mayer / Avalon
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- LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 6: Caitlin O Connor, Joe Manganiello at The Art of ElysiumĂ•s 2024 Heaven Gala at The Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles, California on January 6, 2024. Copyright: xFayexSadoux,Image: 834982177, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO/Faye Sadou / Avalon
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- – Los Angeles, USA -20220628- Los Angeles Premiere Of `Moonhaven`. -PICTURED: SofÃa Vergara, Joe Manganiello -PHOTO by: Faye`s Vision/Cover Images/INSTARimages.com -51735590.jpg This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded Featuring: Sofia Vergara, Joe Manganiello Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 28 Jun 2022 Credit: Faye`s Vision/Cover Images/INSTA
Honestly, team Sofia here. Until he came out with all of this, she hadn’t said a single negative thing about him, just that they were in different places about wanting children. If the book was really supposed to be about his illness and struggle, he could’ve made it just about that.
She really didn’t. Sharing an ambiguous post from her son is tame AF compared to writing a book.
To be clear, I’m not really team anyone here because I think two people can have a completely disparate view of a relationship once they’re out of it and neither is necessarily wrong–just different views of the same experience. But I’m not gonna sit by and watch people trash Sofia, who hasn’t done a damn thing to deserve it.
I am team: fuck that guy.! She has been a fucking saint, staying quiet while this asshole runs around all over town talking smack obviously about her and their relationship, yes of course, for clicks and eyes on him and his stupid tell all. Dude. You have a new young hot wife, who obviously adores you, go knock her up and go away. Your dance moves suck and yes you were definitely the worst of the magic mikes, all that ass and can’t shake it. I am old enough to remember all that shit nick lowe put her through, what a fucking nightmare, and in the courts, don’tcha know. And if you don’t, you should foooking google it!!!
Poor lady, yes a goddess, still after all this time no doubt but wtf and now this piece of shit “wrote”a “book”. He can fuck all the way off.
He literally confirmed his narcissism answering Gayle’s question! She said:
“They appear to be saying that basically, it’s terrible what happened to you but the bottom line is that you’re a narcissist. What do you say to that?”
Manganiello, 49, replied: “Well, I think anybody who said that should read the book first and understand what the book is actually about because it’s not about that. It’s about the suffering I went through.”
Now, reread his very last sentence: “It’s about the suffering *”I” * went through. “Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me…” (Elvis Costello song, beautifully covered by Linda Ronstadt)
The second I read “the suffering I went through”…total victim, total narc. Gayle got a great answer out of him.
2131Jan, I believe “Poor Poor Pitiful Me” is a Warren Zevon song. Agree it was beautifully covered by Linda Ronstadt.
Women have done the same thing and not been labeled narcissists. I would say people need to look up narcissism but it won’t help they’re just going for the self important user angle. If a man just left his wife because of an illness this would have been a different discussion as it has been in the past on here. She immediately put out the kids thing which was unnecessary. She could have just said they grew apart. I remember people ripping into him for that.🙄
I can’t believe this is skewing in her favor.
He is a terrible man autoimmune disease or not. I also have an autoimmune disease but I never use it to gain sympathy nad in this case tar this woman with feathers in the public square. He should f*ck all the way off like another commenter suggested.
I am team no one, but I think the truth must be somewhere in the middle: the relationship ended because multiple factors combined.
I’ll join you on the Team No One couch.
Same. Listen, both of them had good reputations before this so yeah, I think the truth is in the middle.
I’m sorry but that was really shitty of Gayle.
Gayle king sucks.
This *seems* like a situation where both parties feel like they’re telling their truth.
Through their experience.
Maybe she was extremely devoted, but for fuck’s sale there are limits to someone sapping your energy.
When you’re suffering you need a lot of support.
But he’s on my nerves a bit.
He and his team seem to realize that all of this is good promotion for the book.
that is my take as well. NOBODY cares about him if he doesn’t talk bad about Sofia that is way more popular and important in the eco celebrity system.
I do think he suffered from his autoimmune issues but there’s no need to trash his ex-wife. Team Sofia for me too. Also he said that what ended up healing him was going to a shaman in Santa Monica. Lol forever to that.
At 23 I had an autoimmune disorder that doctors told me was incurable. Pulmonary Sarcoidosis. Confirmed with Xray and PET scan. Inflammation of the lymph nodes in my chest, which made it hard to breathe normally, exhaustion, large bumps on my lower legs, and rheumatoid arthritis in all my joints. I could not walk without extreme pain. All at once, and all symptoms appeared overnight. Doctors told me it was incurable, that I would have it for life, and that I would probably have to go on steroids when my lung tissue started to granulate. I went to a Chinese medicine practitioner and had acupuncture with him one time. Two weeks later all my symptoms were gone, and have never returned. *There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.*
I love my acupuncturist.
I’m team Sofía. I don’t think the breakup had anything to do with her age or possible motherhood. I believe his health issues were real, but I suspect she had already checked out of the marriage before the illness became a factor.
She was clearly the main breadwinner, and she likely couldn’t admit that finances played a role without hurting his pride or looking like a gold digger. Motherhood was the easier excuse, one the public would readily accept because of their age difference.
There would also be no book without Sofía.
You are absofuckinglutely right!
Team: fuck that guy
They probably both have more than healthy egos and levels of vanity. Adding illness and care giving onto a high powered Hollywood marriage surely made things worse
My marriage ended when my husband was unsupportive of my health struggles. That said, demanding a hug when someone is angry with you or otherwise not in the mood is the worst.
It seems like she signed up for a marriage to a guy who was one person on the day they married, and, through no fault of his own, became a totally different person within a short span of time, and the person that he became took the place of the person he had been previously. Like, there was no going back to the “before” version of that man. Which ….might be a dealbreaker in a marriage, if you didn’t have a decade or more and / or kids together at that point…. I wouldn’t judge him for feeling abandoned in his hour of need, and I wouldn’t judge her for saying, I’m way out of my depth and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean. It’s a horrible situation.
Look, no one knows what truly went down with these two except them. I had an encounter with them in Positano in 2019. My daughter and I were walking down to the beach and I recognized them and I said “Go Steelers” – Joe smiled and we chatted for like 15 seconds. Sophia was not amused and we got the stink eye. No big deal, but we laughed about it. They looked lovely and you would never have guessed he was sick. My god, they were hot together, just a stunning couple. Flash forward to this year, I was a charity fundraiser in Pittsburgh where Joe and his fiancée Caitlyn attended and the two of them were just so nice. They moved back to the ‘burgh last year to his hometown, Mt Lebanon. He’s very active with a number of charities in the area and is a known as a nice and loyal guy. He’s into heavy metal and those crazy game thingys I don’t get, but to each his own. So, that’s my take on this. I thought they handled their divorce in a good way. I just put Joe’s book on my Kindle so I’ll read about his health ordeal.
Yeah, his whole vibe definitely gives a narcissistic aura here. Especially the “read my book that I wrote about myself about me and you’ll see it’s not about me”. Bit tone deaf, honestly.
Still Team Joe. I think SV released the infertility / “old mom” narrative as a way to give the public a reason the marriage fell apart because it could be looked at as no one’s fault. Just circumstances of life coming between two people. Because that sounds better than admitting you didn’t love your husband enough to want to help him through the hardest time of his life.
Joe. That you?
Yes, and Bubbles is with me.
Sophia, that you? (What a ridiculous way to try to negate someone’s opinion.)
Both of them are narcissists. Everyone in that industry is to some extent.
Team Joe ever since I saw his episode of Finding Your Roots (season 9, episode 6). Anyone who doesn’t believe in the possibility of genetic trauma should watch that episode. It is a miracle that Joe ever came to be born. I always liked Sofia Vergara also. In fact, I used to call her my “home girl” because I was also born in Colombia and lived there for my 1st 12 years (albeit of US parents, father worked for Texaco).
I think that his narcissism is a BIG factor in why their marriage ended and then his illness really brought it out unfortunately (he has all of confirmed this himself whether he realizes it or not). This would be hard for anyone to deal with. And yes, he’s selling his book by any means necessary (an a cherry on top would be to stick it to her for not sticking around). He’s a bitter betty.
Have you met many actors? Most of them are narcissists. I think that’s a given for both of them.
There’s a difference between being a narcissist and being narcissistic. I think many actors are self-involved or egotistical but that doesn’t mean they have a personality disorder. There’s actual diagnostic criteria for NPD that requires rigorous testing and I don’t see how anyone can cite the examples detailed here as proof that Joe has NPD. I do think he comes across as a self-involved guy but to be fair, battling a chronic illness can be really all-consuming and doesn’t leave a lot of room to think about others. I believe that he was necessarily focused on himself and his health and Sofia felt ignored or not prioritized. I don’t fault Joe for retreating inward and alienating his partner but Sofia’s not wrong for wanting her partner to be present in the relationship either. *shrug*
@Kitten, you’re right. I was not trying to conflate the personality trait of many actors/performers with actual Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
” battling a chronic illness can be really all-consuming and doesn’t leave a lot of room to think about others. I believe that he was necessarily focused on himself and his health and Sofia felt ignored or not prioritized. I don’t fault Joe for retreating inward and alienating his partner but Sofia’s not wrong for wanting her partner to be present in the relationship either. *shrug*”
I think you nailed it @Kitten
I honestly don’t see a villain here.
Yeah, it could have been about Joe, but she also has her son’s father and the ex that kept trying to sue her for her embryos. So it could have just been about the men she’s been with in general. It’s narcissistic for him to assume it’s about him. Yes, I know he was asked that question, but all the questions on those shows are pre-approved talking points. So he wanted to talk about Sofia. Otherwise all he needed to say is, I’m not the only man she’s ever been with and I hope that wasn’t refering to me. Also, he started dating his fiancé right after they split. And his health was suddenly better too. So Sofia can be a bit bitter about that imo.
Also, if Joe says he was sick right after he got married, then why was he pushing to have kids with someone, who had publicly said she didn’t want more, when he was going through a health crisis? Imagine being Sofia and you are doing ivf which is tough while dealing with your husband’s illness. And let’s talk about this illness too. It was healed by a shaman in Santa Monica?!? You lost intestines and need an ostomy bag, but a shaman healed you? BS. You know, protein powder and *other* things men use to bulk up and make muscle can be really bad for the digestive system and health in general. I haven’t read the book to know if that’s addressed, but I’m sure that stuff didn’t help.
As for bubbles, I remember both of them referring to her as Sofia’s dog before she got with Joe but that she didn’t like Sofia and became Joe’s dog. So if that wasn’t the real story, he thought it was cute and promoted it too. But now he’s going to change the narrative to sell books. Which is really what this is all about. He hasn’t worked much beyond true blood and magic mike. Doesn’t he host a game show or something now? He needs good gossip to make money. That’s all this is about.
Can we also remember that Sofia was being sued by her ex Nick from 2014 until 2021? Not excusing anyone, but unfortunately there is such a thing as limited bandwidth. So while he was dealing with health issues and she was dealing with this lawsuit about embryos and parenthood, I’m not sure either had sufficient bandwidth for the other.
Has he ever provided a name for his autoimmune disorder? I know they can be murky but there are many known diagnoses as well.
Team Sophia 💯. I don’t see how anyone can be team Man jello
He’s a written a book cashing on her name and you’re talking HIs side ???
Graphynya Heather, I liked your comment about bandwidth. That is certainly true. It does seem like Joe is trashing Sofia to sell his book. Also, the second I heard he had a new young wife, he lost me. Why not talk about his younger bride instead of his famous ex in his book, which he wants everyone to buy? Every actor’s new young wife always pisses me off. Let her take care of him.