Beyonce wants to release her own cookbook even though she can’t cook

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For awhile now, the ever thoughtful Beyonce has been preparing the public for her (fifth?) 30th birthday by reminding us that she wants a baby at some point during the year, and it seems that girlfriend is doing some serious nesting in preparation thereof; that is, she’s now planning to release her own cookbook with the help of BFF Gwyneth Paltrow. This news follows prior admissions from Beyonce that she’s “a disaster in the kitchen” and only manages to hold dinner parties because she “order[s] from the best restaurants and [has] the food delivered.” Still, if spoiled, privileged Hollywood actress Gwyneth can “write” her own cookbook, well, Beyonce can too! Sh-t is about to get real:

She dreams of having a bun in the oven but Beyonce, 30, is cooking up something in the kitchen first.

She has been inspired by pal Gwyneth Paltrow, 38, to release a cookbook – but not your usual Delia Smith. This one will give fans the bootylicious figure she has.

I’m told: “Her mum Tina started the tradition whereby anywhere in the world they are, she always puts on a soul food spread of collard greens, cornbread, mac ’n’ cheese and fried chicken. Bey would love to include these family recipes in a book.

“As she thinks about a family, she’s spoken about this with Gwyn and is raring to go.”

[Daily Mirror]

So my question is this — is there anything inherently wrong with authoring a cookbook when one cannot even boil water? Just like many of you, when Gwyneth released her own culinary tome, which was largely developed through the aid of a “kitchen assistant,” I found that pretty sketchy in and of itself. And now Gwyneth has gotten Beyonce all revved up to transcribe her mother’s soul-food recipes even though Beyonce herself can’t lift a finger in the kitchen (unless it’s to pick up the hotel brochure and call for room service). Never mind the fact that all of the foods mentioned are very high in fat and calories, which Gwyneth will never be able to tolerate. I really hope this cookbook never materializes, and Beyonce’s mother really ought to shut this idea down immediately, but you know that probably won’t happen.

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Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

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49 Responses to “Beyonce wants to release her own cookbook even though she can’t cook”

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  1. Rita says:

    The guy standing behind Gwyneth is her fish monger.

    Beyonce’s mom is probably the real author of the book and is just looking for something to do.

  2. Hanna says:

    Ha! I guess bitches attract eachother!

  3. Samihami says:

    Well, why should being a lousy cook stop her from writing a cookbook? She’s a lousy singer and she keeps putting out CD’s.

  4. arock says:

    i like beyonce but thats over-reaching. just cause you could doesnt mean you should.

  5. caitlinsmommy says:

    I imagine it will contain her recipe for master cleanse.

  6. Truthful says:

    doubt it will happen, smdh.

  7. DenG says:

    What a crockpot. Please buy my new book “Surgery for Dummies”.

  8. honeybunxo says:

    whaaat?!! oh beebee when will u learn?? cookbook?? how you gonna write a cookbook when u cant even cook?? thats like you making albums when u cant even sing…thats like u being a fashion designer when u have no fashion sense…thats like saying u write songs when u really buy/steal another writers lyrics…thats like saying u directed a documentary or music video when u cant even direct your mouth to speak past pre school level…thats like you doing a loreal hair color commercial when u wear artificial lacefronts…thats like saying your black n proud when u clearly r bleaching your melanin away…thats like saying you wanna make a movie when u really cant act…thats like saying your a good christain girl when you have a 7-8 yr long fornicative relationship with an older camel…thats like saying your curvy when u actually owe those curves to depends daipers and the best surgeon jayz can buy….thats like saying i wanna feel smart when youre actually getting dumber by the day!! oh beyonce…selfhating delusional thirsty mediawhoring beyonce…when oh when will u learn????

  9. Quest says:

    Birds of a feather, do cookbooks together.

    There should be a recipe on how to remain 30 for the rest of our life

  10. anyway says:

    She stars in movies and can’t act, so this is not a stretch.

    leave it to Beyonce to want to do everything even though she really cant do it all. Ever since her Destiny’s Child days I’ve always has this feeling about her. Like something about her is kinda phoney and although she plays the humble act, she’s really full of herself. The fact that she and Goopy are BFF’s kinda furthers the argument. Birds of a feather………..

  11. RHONYC says:

    *nibbling my delish heirloom tomato & basil salad*

    uhmmm…

    i’m kinda fond of my unclogged arteries & buying a ‘recipes-4-thunder-thighs’ book isn’t high on my must-have list.

    i prefer to stick with a healthier vision of food.

    “For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.” ~ Audrey Hepburn 😉

  12. My horse wants to write a cookbook,too.He has a killer recipe for a carrot,oat ,and bran mash.

  13. Tierra says:

    I never got into Beyonce and never understood they hype with her but I think her 15 minutes are over. There was never anything spectacular about her music to keep ppl interested and now she’s been out of the spotlight for awhile, i just dont see any kind of comeback for her whether it be a cookbook or new album.

  14. Firecracker says:

    Cookbooks are the new perfume for celebrities.

  15. Annaloo says:

    No, I am waiting for the INSUFFERABLE book titled “LETTERS TO MY DAUGHTER” BY GWYNETH PALTROW.

    This book will extol Gwyneth’s high lessons of motherhood and life she passes on to that little fruit she bore (as well as all the plebian poors that will purchase it)

    Can’t wait for the chapter how she tells Apple she can empower ANYONE, bc her mommy was able to do it for Beyonce, a person who couldn’t cook and then by the magical presence of the Goopster, felt enabled and empowered to write a damn cookbook even though Beyonce is more McDonalds than Michelin!

    Oh THE VOMIT the vomit is coming.. this is nothing! The worst book is on its way!

  16. jover says:

    Sign on with everyone – this dimwit needs to disappear everything about her – her music, intellect, fashion, singing, acting, personality (what personality) are mediocre to snooze inducing monotonous; tons of money and time but no intellect to them properly; and now a cookbook -played out and pathetic but when everyone around you is on the gravy train, self-delusion is boundless.

  17. Blue says:

    Samihami and honeybunxo both have me cracking up. Why is she doing a cookbook. I mean how many different ways is there to fry chicken and make mac’n cheese. I don’t buy cookbooks, I just use an app or search the internet

  18. Annie says:

    @samihami and honeybonxo Just because u hate someone shouldn’t blind u to their talents beyonce can sing, is beatiful and no plastic surgeon can give the curves she has

  19. Hotpockets says:

    In reference to your comment about Beyonyce, “Bitch got tweeked..”

    She reminds me of the Cheshire cat now with the new work done to her face, devious little grin.

    @Jover: I enjoy your pop culture comments, hilarious!

  20. zephyr says:

    Comments 8 & 12 (honeybunxo & horsepoor hanna): knee-slappers. Thank you!

  21. anyway says:

    @Annie,

    Beyonce has small breast implants (much like Kelly Rowlands and Rihanna’s) and she has had lipo on her stomach. Compare her stomach to Kardashian and Tara Reid. They all have that play-doh molded-type look to it.

    Those hips and ass are 100% real though, but she is known to wear body and booty shapers and corsets to accentuate the hourglass figure and pop out the booty.

    And plastic surgeons give women and queens those curves every day – See Nicki Minaj and Carmen Carrera from RuPaul’s drag race just to name a few.

  22. honeybunxo says:

    oh some people are just so entranced by superstars that reality will never sit with them…yea ok sure beyonces curves are au natural…whatever u say…her ever widening romp has the magical ability to pump and deflate at will cause beyonce is made from pixie dust of the booty gods and rainbow kisses of the curvy body godmother…no she hasnt had breast implants..she wears a really super di duper italian manufactured pushup bra that lifts her breasts to the heavens where they belong cause the lowly earth is not holy enough for her tits…and her tummy is from birth flat and perfectly toned due to the good witch of abs and her muscle tone is nothing short of articulate sculpturing by the hands of honey glistened stomach fairies who would make picasso and jillian micheals look like lowly ametuers!! yea thats right how could i have missed that?? **sarcasm**

  23. Nah, nah & nah... says:

    I need some time to miss this lady here. Can somebody cut a deal with her, let her know that if she goes away for a few years, we all promise we’ll give her back some semblance of a career when she makes a comeback?

    You know how you need to miss things like Halloween candy to appreciate them the next October? I need her to take a tip from candy corn and get off the shelf til AFTER about Labor Day 2015.

  24. DeE says:

    I love to cook, when not too tired to do so, but wouldn’t dream of creating a cook book because this dead food, though yummy, doesn’t assist in our longevity. I wouldn’t even last on Hell’s Kitchen, let alone Iron Chef, so my skills though quite good wouldn’t cut it in cookbook competition. Money seems to creat doors where there shouldn’t be any and she is so accustomed to slapping her name on things and they turning to what the world says is gold. Yes, RHONYC, I too need to be more conistent in the live/raw food and juicing organics rather than this dead non nutritious stuff that has my cells sluggish rather than bouncing around inside me like Bouncy does to those stages. This woman does have a voice and the “it” factor for those that can get with her type of substance….I just don’t get any sustenance from her and wouldn’t from her mommy’s recipes.

  25. Carrie B. says:

    As ridiculous as the idea of Beyonce writing a cookbook is to me, I’m more interested to see how the public will (or will not) embrace it. No serious food lover will buy it. But I wonder if Bey has that much influence over her fans that they will merely consume yet another product just because it has her name on it.

  26. honeybunxo says:

    DEAD @ #23 nah nah &nah!!! take a tip from candy corn and stay off the shelves??!!!! bwaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaa!!!

  27. meadowlark says:

    I allow myself 2-3 celebrities for whom my utter hatred can remain completely unfounded. Beyonce WAS one of them, but now that I know she takes advice from Goop, I think I sense a free space opening up for Anne Hathaway!!

  28. It is ME!! says:

    Annaloo@ #15: I agree, the vomit is coming. The sound of a Beyonce cook book is making my morning sickness kick in (at 2:19pm MDT).

    Am I the only one, or did she peak with “Crazy in Love”? Seems to be all downhill from there….

  29. Bubbling says:

    O @honeybunxo went in! Seriously I died a little on “takes her tits to heaven, where they belong”, bless your little hearth, you made my day!
    We are approaching “too much Bey” point rather fast. I understand girl needs to promote the hell out of herself, but isn’t it sad how little of it is left to raw talent and how marketing is more than 70% of work?! Shit, with promotion like that I could be a singer

  30. Lily says:

    Nothing new. She releases music albums even though she cannot sing to save her live and knows nothing about composing or arranging or playing an instrument. She’s as fake as always. 100% manufactured pop diva. Just like the others.

  31. INeedANap says:

    @ #17 Blue —
    This is kinda OT, but about mac&cheese…
    http://www.30days30waysmacandcheese.com/

    Different ways to do mac and cheese, all delicious. Love! 🙂

    (Beyonce should not do a cookbook. We should all eat M&C. Huggles.)

  32. June says:

    “…manufactured pushup bra that lifts her breasts to the heavens where they belong cause the lowly earth is not holy enough for her tits”

    @honeybunxo- I had to roll back my desk chair and hold myself laughing!

  33. hatsumomo says:

    Has anyone ever SEEN Beyonce’s mother?! If ever there was a woman who looks as though she cant brown butter, its her. And besides, wasn’t beyonce’s mother a fashion store manager before her career took off? I have a hard time believing she left her high end boutique every afternoon to joyously do the cooking of family dinners while her husband was out screwing other women.

  34. Mingy says:

    @honeybunxo…i love u!

  35. Violet says:

    Good grief. It wouldn’t be so bad if Beyonce documented her attempts to learn how to cook, but just to put her name on someone else’s cookbook when she can’t even boil water seems like a total sellout.

    Not long ago, CDAN revealed Jay-Z as the one in a blind item about a rapper who’s been cheating on his wife for the past decade with a French mistress. I wasn’t surprised, because Beyonce and Jay-Z are often apart due to career commitments.

    It’d be beyond ironic if Gwyneth and Beyonce, who are obsessed with being physically perfect, were both in sexless marriages!

  36. garvels says:

    I am so sick and tired of singers and actresses who promote their clothes,perfumes,cookbooks and whatever else that generates a quick buck. Most of the time, it seems like their supposed actual talent,whether it is acting or singing takes a back seat to all of these promotional projects.I guess this is just the general direction for the entertainment industry.

  37. Carolyn says:

    Thanks everyone for your right-on comments.totally agree. Beyonce jumped the shark when she adopted that ridiculous Sasha Fierce personna (oh pulease). She has enough money and exposure. The sad thing is that if she does release this travesty of a cookbook her fans will buy it and she’ll appear on talk shows and make even more $$$ Just say no.

  38. UKHels says:

    isn’t this the chick that claimed she did the ‘glass of water, maple syrup and pinch of paprika’ diet?

    silly cow

  39. ladybert62 says:

    Dang, everyone’s posts were so funny I dont know where to begin – except maybe with @honeybunxo who had the posts that had me rolling on the floor!

    Thanks ladies – I needed that – its been another tough day at work!

  40. John Wayne Lives says:

    @ garvels, god ITA.
    maybe she should use all that time and money and take a cooking class. Better yourself babe, we all know how to make cornbread and mac&cheese. But thanks for the thought.

  41. jemshoes says:

    This is definitely Tina Knowles territory, and might actually be more successful than the House of Dereon. Anyone’s guess, really. But Beyonce has been listening too much to Goopy’s hype if she thinks it’s a good idea to put her name to a cookbook. 😛

  42. the original bellaluna says:

    This is in the same category as Giulina’s restaurant: DO. NOT. WANT.

    If you don’t eat and you can’t cook, you’ve absolutely no business owning a restaurant or “writing” a cook book.

    (Spoken like the daughter of a true master in the kitchen, who had her own food column in the paper and altered traditional recipes to be more healthy.)

  43. 9 out 10 experts recommend says:

    Don’t quit your day job Beyonce. Hang on she is pretty crap at that too.
    I saw her on Oprah a couple years back and she said that her specialty was putting ice into a jug of water. But her with a cook book, who is going to buy it? Come on now. Even Charlie Sheen would say “that bitch is crazy, not winning”

  44. Tara says:

    JUST WOW

  45. Bopa says:

    This is probably a normal concept for her; to take someone elses ideas and talent and slap her name on it. Taking credit for songs she didn’t write, stealing other designers designs, stealing video of other artists audiences, saying she made up words she didn’t, and selling a perfume although you say you’re allergic to it are all examples to beys business model.

  46. Anonymous says:

    lol… Dts so foolish of her writing a cook book wyl she cant even cook… Wen wil she learn…..

  47. really says:

    This “so called singer” is such a moron, copy-cat, COW…. if she makes any book it should be how to wear wigs, and be a complete fake! As for a cookbook, right ummmmmmmmmm NO (who in their right mind wants to look like her or listen to anything she belches!).

  48. Sheigh says:

    Dresses, perfumes, cookbooks etc, Bee , please go to record a hot master song, not kind of too much auto-tune ear’s bugs !
    Too scattered like a no-talented Paris Hilton!
    Damn!

  49. anonymoose says:

    It’s about time this no-talent delusional child-pageant-mentality stops getting the green light. Basta!