Rob Kardashian: ‘I see myself naked & cry, because my p-nis looks so small now’

Rob Kardashian

These are photos from a few weeks ago (that I’ve sort of been dying to use but needed an excuse) of Rob “Prefontaine” Kardashian prowling London with his new lady, Naza Jafarian, about a week after we covered his alleged escort fetish, which was supposedly a way to trick himself out of missing Rita Ora. This kid is such a mess, isn’t he? And his girlfriend looks to be very fond of heavy-handed makeup application.

Rob Kardashian

The weirdness doesn’t end there because Rob has spoken with Ryan Seacrest as part of a Kardashian Klan special, and god only knows what possessed him to talk about how sad he is about his vanishing wang. Say what? Well Rob calmly explains that his recent weight gain (40 pounds in 2 months) presents another challenge besides the obvious health and image considerations. That is, Rob says that his little Kardashian looks much smaller now since he’s a bigger guy. Hey, dudes out there … is this a thing? I would think that wangs don’t exactly “disappear” unless one gains a great amount of weight, say, in the hundreds of pounds. Also, I can’t believe Rob is actually admitting this to poor Ryan Seacrest. This has got to be one of the weirdest interviews Seacrest has ever had the misfortune of conducting. Here we go:

Rob Kardashian isn’t keeping up with the slim and fit physiques of his sisters.

On last night’s E! News special “Ryan Seacrest with the Kardashians” Rob revealed the shame he feels about his body after gaining weight. “Every time I hop in the shower and see myself naked I cry,” the 26-year-old reality star told Seacrest. “My p-nis looks so small now.”

The pressure of being part of a beautiful family that is under the media spotlight has definitely gotten to him but he still managed to joke about the situation. “The upside is, every time you lose 10 pounds you gain an inch on your p-nis,” he added.

Aside from his battle with weight the young Kardashian has seriously struggled with finding the same level of fame as his sisters. “There’s a lot of haters in the world,” he confessed.

Launching the sock line Arthur George has given Rob individuality from the reality show pigeon hole he often finds himself in. “I really like socks,” he explained. “Now that’s turning into boxers and pajamas. I’m excited to have a niche.”

While he continues searching for his rightful place in the world among a star-filled family Rob said thrives on the support he receives from his entrepreneurial mom Kris. “Four in the morning is when she starts,” he boasted.

[From E! Online]

Somehow, I’m not surprised to learn that Kris Jenner is raring to go at 4:00 am. She’s probably just putting down the bottle at that point, so why not just keep going? At that hour, she has plenty of time to practice cheering for sock patterns designed by Rob. I guess we should congratulate him on expanding into boxers and pajamas at some point? Nah.

While I feel bad for laughing at Rob for his admission, I have to wonder what his motivations are in revealing this information. Surely, he must have a point unless he’s truly that dumb to not consider that he’s telling the entire world about his size issue. I wonder what Naza Jafarian thinks of her boyfriend’s “tiny little wang” confession. Maybe she just loves him for his personality and amazing sock designing skills. Or maybe not.

Rob Kardashian

Rob Kardashian

Rob Kardashian

Photos courtesy of WENN

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87 Responses to “Rob Kardashian: ‘I see myself naked & cry, because my p-nis looks so small now’”

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  1. A says:

    It gets small like that when you let your mom baby you.

    • BB says:

      Rob is lazy and lacks ambition. I don’t blame his family, I blame Rob. He has the tools to be successful in life and he has not been.

      • Dutchy says:

        Haven’t you heard the news? Rob has a super succesful line of classy socks, including a chic brand name. And he is about to sell underwear too! I am blown away by this great new fashion talent.

      • Izzy says:

        Remember that big bruhaha over his attending law school? Somehow he gave the impression that he’d been admitted, and whatever school it was – USC? – was all “we don’t think so.”

        I laughed my butt off at that. I’ve been through law school. More accurately, I SURVIVED law school. It is no cake walk – widdle Wobbie wouldn’t have lasted a semester. He doesn’t have the work ethic, the brains or (apparently) the balls.

      • Jarredsgirl says:

        Actually I feel sorry for him a little bit. I mean, he does seem like a douche, but aside from that, he has obviously had no help in finding out who he is, what his strengths are and coming up with a workable plan for his future. I know he’s an adult and should do it on his own, but parents should be helping their kids when they are still teenagers. I doubt he got anything like that from Kris. She can’t figure out how to capitalise on him so he gets less attention. Kinda seems like it has affected his identity, he doesn’t know where he fits into the world.

    • april says:

      A – good one!

  2. gillie says:

    He’s dating a girl who looks like an amalgamation of his sisters Kim and Kourtney. This has got to be the most bizarre family ever.

    • Liv says:

      Only if you think that all whites, blacks or asians do look the same.

    • bangbang says:

      Same colouring, but I think she looks more like Farrah Abrams (spelling? whatever that teen mom who makes the poor decisions)

      The gf and kimmy/kourtney seem to share a similar love of heavy makeup and extensions though. I think its the similar makeup, the type that removes all identifying features, that makes her look so much like his sisters…

      • jaye says:

        “that teen mom who makes the bad decisions” pretty much describes 98.99999% of the girls who’ve appeared on that show.

    • Kate says:

      I think she looks a touch like a dude.

    • ShaCur says:

      From her last name she’s likely Armenian as well (“ian” at the end of the last name is usually indicative of Armenian) and shares a lot of features common to that ethnicity, and subsequently his sisters. I’ve always thought Armenian/middle eastern women were so naturally gorgeous, it just makes me sad when the pounds of make up ruin it. But, I think the same can be said of any other person….there’s a point when makeup stops “enhancing” and the person looks like a clown.

    • littlestar says:

      Whoever his girlfriend is, I think she looks beautiful. But I don’t like her because she’s linked to a Kartrashian now haha :D.

    • whateveryouwantittobe says:

      They really put me off wearing eye makeup. She looks like she was shot in the face with a clown make up gun ( as seen in The Simpsons).

  3. brin says:

    This guy has always been a little dick.

    • Scott says:

      Exactly. His dick was always small. He needs to stop looking for excuses. Few extra pounds, low temperature, your vagina is too big… bitch please!

      • popcorn11 says:

        The bigger the frame the smaller the penis looks, its all about proportion. C cup boobs look bigger on a petite girl than on a slightly over~weight one.

        Having said that, a guy as nasty as he was to Rita Ora is probably carrying a tiny pecker. Small man syndrome!

      • Hakura says:

        @Scott – “…your vagina is too big…

        LOL! I’d never heard that one before. I’m amazed someone would actually try to *use that* as an excuse for their unfortunate dong size issues.

      • Chicagogurl says:

        Hakura – its from a Sex and the City episode – “Goldic-cks”. Samantha is in a relationship and can’t take one more minute of therapy, so she finally breaks down and tells him his penis is too small, in turn he tells her maybe her vagina is too big and he storms off. Samantha looks at the the therapist, “I need a big d-ck!” and the therapist (older demure lady) says “I hear that”. Its classic.

    • littlestar says:

      Bahahahaha! So true :D.

  4. swack says:

    Has anyone taught anyone in this family about editing what they say? Poor, poor Rob – not! Get off the couch, stop stuffing food and alcohol into your body and go get some exercise or a trainer (you have enough money for one). Does anyone else think it is weird that his girlfriend kind of looks like Kim?

    • wonderwoman21 says:

      No, this family is disgusting. Incestuous feelings and actions on their part wouldnt shock me, they have no limits or shame.

  5. neelyo says:

    Keep talking Robbie, I’m sure that call from Weight Watchers is coming soon.

    • misscare says:

      I thought the exact same thing. He’s waiting for a weight loss endorsement of some kind like all the rest of the Kartrashians.. this family just needs to go away already. The only purpose they have is to make people feel better about their own lives!

  6. Dutchy says:

    *shame on me* but I saw the special.. and I guess he was somewhat kidding (not that it was funny).

    His girlfriends looks like she could be a sister.. ‘Naza Jafarian –> Kaza Kafarian’, sounds good

  7. Faye says:

    Rob, we always cry (metaphorically) when we see you or any member of your family.

  8. Miss Kiki says:

    Well that was uncomfortable.

  9. Joanna says:

    i thought guys liked the natural look. then you see them out with chicks like this one, with a pound of makeup. all i gotta say is, you must be pretty d*mn ugly without makeup to need that much to go out of the house.

    hate the drag queen makeup trend. i’m surpised his sisters kourtney and kim don’t have a makeup line,

    • Gossip Garl says:

      Joanna,pls dont give them anymore ideas,(if they dont already have a make up line) Thnk you so much

    • lem says:

      they do have a makeup line. it’s that krome shit that they’re currently being sued for.

      • Hakura says:

        I hadn’t heard about that. What are they being sued for?

      • lem says:

        there is high end makeup line called Chrome and the Kardashian makeup line is Krome. The owner of Chrome is basically accusing them of ripping off his name in order to convince people they are the high end line when in reality it’s shit makeup. So it’s damaging his brand and he’s losing business.

      • Hakura says:

        Oooh. How stupid can they be? There are plenty of other words they can f*ck up by adding a ‘K’ in it. It was underhanded & deceitful to try to ride another, more successful company’s coat tails.

        But really… How could anyone expect the makeup not to be Krap after seeing their faces?

  10. NerdMomma says:

    I’ll bet he’s angling for a spot on that celebrity weight loss show

  11. elceibeno08 says:

    I don’t understand why Rob has to tell the world about his weight gain and his endowment. That’s his business and no one else’s. Rob is a vapid, silly boy, but he is not a bad kid. He needs a psychologist to help him deal with his self-esteem, and to deal with the fact that he is a male and his mother cannot (much to her regret) famewhore him out like she does her daughters.

    • TG says:

      I think rob just needs to stop being such a p*ssy and go seek work on his own like the rest if us have to do. I really can’t stand this guy. You know his mother came up with this business venture for him and she is probably up at 4 am designing socks, underwear and pj’s for her loser faux euro trash of a son. I just want to say I was laughing so much I was crying about the comment on Kris Jenner starting work at 4 am because that is when she has put the bottle down

    • arock says:

      screw that. its rob kardashian and he just said, “everytime i look at my dick, i cry” on national television. as far as im concerned thats jesus throwing me a cookie for that people cover with goop.

  12. lem says:

    first, i think he’s gained wayyyyy more than 40 lbs. the way he dresses isn’t slimming in the least but he still looks more than 40lbs heavier.
    second, yes i’ve heard that overweight guys are always super happy when they lose weight and they actually gain inches on their d*cks. like, some guys I know use that as motivation to lose weight once they find out it’s a “side effect” of weightloss. so i’m sure the opposite is true too.

  13. DanaG says:

    Doesn’t mama Kris have a big enough penis for both of them. She certainly has the balls. His girlfriend does look like a cross between his sisters. Rob should be more worried about that. Wow sock designer is that all they trust him with?

  14. Quinn says:

    Will someone please de-tongue this entire family???? Nothing but mouth diarrhea from the lot of them.

  15. GTO says:

    It’s no big deal, he could always buy a strap on.

  16. Gossip Garl says:

    Shopping for a (DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM<CALL US,JUST AS ROB KARTRASHIAN*IM NO HATER* DID)Penis commercial, VIAGGRA advertisement, DIET PILLS?With KRIS JENNER WHO KNOWS!We will find out in the future..After Kanye, im glad this family still has 11 minutes of fame..The minutes tick away slow, BUT SURELY!!!

  17. kristine says:

    My guess is it was always small.

  18. Susie Q says:

    He shouldn’t feel bad, even though he has a little dick, he acts like a big one. Seriously, this family needs to STFU!

  19. Carolyn says:

    Laughing at him, not with him. I so wouldn’t want to see him naked. Stupid boy. He makes Ryan Lochte look smart.

  20. Emily says:

    No one cares enough about him to offer him a weight loss deal…
    Most people wouldn’t know who he was.

  21. Muffy says:

    WTF-“star filled family'” really? They’re full of something that starts with an “s!”

  22. Skins says:

    My God! Is there even one ounce of class anywhere in this skeevy family?

  23. Hoya_chick says:

    It was probably small to begin with!

  24. MrsB says:

    Stay classy kartrashians. Stay classy. Seriously though, anybody else heard the rumor that his weight gain is due to a sizzurp addiction? I read that on another blog somewhere.

    • dzee says:

      Yep I read a blind about that. Apparently his sisters are more concerned with him losing the weight and looking good than treating his addiction. Go figure. well that’s if it was about him. methinks it was

  25. Pastyousayyouneverknew says:

    Wow is it just me or is this just TMI? Like, who talks about the size of their penis for the whole world to hear? I don’t even know how he gets girls, he is so depressingly pathetic

  26. truthful says:

    All I could do was LOL!!!

    any attention is good attention for them.

  27. Relli says:

    Oh honey no!

    Look male K, when your sisters go on interviews and do the TMI overshare thing women and thier fan base are into feeling like they are just like them. When you do it you look like a giant pussy (no offense kitties).

  28. the original bellaluna says:

    No feel bads for Ryan here, as he’s the one who subjected us to the klan. He’s getting what he deserves.

    Rob really is as vapid as his sisters, isn’t he? And dude, quit bitching. I’ve got huge knockers and haven’t seen my feet in decades! Get over it.

    • Chicagogurl says:

      His d was always small, please. To your point, he’s always complaining or whining about how everything is about his sisters. Pathetic.

  29. Yelly says:

    I think Rob Kardashian cries every time he realizes he is indeed Rob Kardashian.

  30. marky mark says:

    The women in that family have seriously emasculated this guy and this is the result. He will never fully function well unless he breaks away and accomplishes something on his own. This might be extra hard because the mom is one serious MONSTER & won’t ever cut the cord from him or the sisters OR Bruce for that matter

  31. Holden says:

    Thank you for asking for my opinion! I’ve never gained weight to the magnitude of this guy, but if you are heavier than you’d like your twig and berries does get kind of absorbed in a male fupa of sorts. Plus: coke dick. I’m just saying. I’m not sure I agree with gaining an inch by losing 10 lbs, but I’m willing to go anorexic for a few weeks to find out if I have a future making films with the rest of MTV’s teen moms.

    • Hakura says:

      LOL! An enlightening comment, to be sure. Though it’s caused evil mental pictures to assault my mind. >.< I close my eyes & see what Naza Jafarian sees. It should be used as a torture tactic by the police to 'break' suspects in interviews. x___x

  32. Dawn says:

    Well what is a poor KrapTrashain to do when nothing else works so he must resort to using his male member at an attempt to be funny? God just think if his male member was as big as his family’s collective egos he’d be huge. That girl just looks like she wants attention and is hanging with him to get some.

  33. Kelly says:

    I was going to ask if they all really think because they say it, wear it, or do it must be cool then I thought about who we are talking about. Filter, please!

    I know many consider manners and discretion as old fashioned and hypocritical, but please… a little hypocrisy please. Not EVERYTHING is okay.

    What little respect he generated on his hard work on DWTS is gone.

  34. Mac says:

    Maybe he’s carrying Kanye’s kid.

  35. s says:

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  36. AngiePangie says:

    I’m pretty sure he was kidding!

  37. islandwalker says:

    Ewww. Everyone in this family inappropriately over shares. What ever happened to privacy and personal space?

  38. Asdfg says:

    Thanks for the disgusting visual…

  39. Nikki says:

    I’ve been with men who have gained and lost weight, I can feel the difference when we were intimate, I have a feeling it’s the flesh near the base that can gain weight, and visually there is a difference, bigger bodies make things look smaller in comparison.

  40. KellyinSeattle says:

    Just think how awful it would be having Rob as a husband and the Kardashians as sisters-in-law.

  41. Lexi says:

    Can a penis look smaller when a guy gets bigger?? I guess so! It couldnt of been that big to begin wirh

  42. Lemony says:

    Dear Rob,
    It looks small because it IS small.

  43. Deedee says:

    That’s probably how he got interested in socks….

    • Amy says:

      Ha! Oh, Deedee, you beat me to it!

      His quote sounds like a status when someone’s left his facebook open on a public computer!

  44. The Wizz says:

    I thought this dude was trying to lose weight? He bloody looks heavier.

  45. Rachel says:

    What was Rita Ora thinking?

  46. jwoolman says:

    Why do the Kardashians all seem to think we’re so interested in their genitals?

  47. Sara says:

    Did anyone else notice he described himself as a “25 year old kid”?! Since when is anyone beyond the age of 21 considered a kid?! Sad that a full grown man cannot fly the nest. At the very least he could go travel the world in a study abroad program.