I guess I’m not surprised by all of the DM commenters/Keen Defenders’ hypocrisy, about subjects both big and small. The Duchess of Cambridge spent years wandering around events with too-heavy makeup and her defenders cried whenever anyone mentioned that maybe she didn’t need all that eyeshadow for a morning event with kids. But Meghan has some rouge problems in her first year of duchessing, and suddenly rouge problems mean “Meghan is ill-equipped to duchess, she’s too Hollywood, too gauche, too tacky!” So it is with Meghan and Harry’s staffing problems too – nevermind that for years, Kate and William hemorrhaged personal staff, household staff and office staff, suddenly Meghan’s assistant quits and it’s the end of the world and Meghan is the most impossible diva. So what now? According to Vanity Fair, Meghan and Harry are looking to hire two new employees in the coming months:
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are believed to be looking for two new members of staff following what has been (somewhat dramatically) described as a “stampede” over at Kensington Palace. According to reports over the weekend, Harry and Meghan recently lost a much-trusted aide known as Melissa, who is said to have been instrumental in the success of the royal wedding but recently resigned. The walkout comes six months after the royal wedding, and follows the departure of Prince Harry’s private secretary, Edward Lane Fox, who announced he was leaving the household after years of service this past summer. He was succeeded by the Queen’s former assistant private secretary, Samantha Cohen, who is acting as the couple’s joint private secretary.
Australian-born Cohen, who is affectionately nicknamed “Samantha the Panther” in the royal household, came over to Kensington Palace from Buckingham Palace and oversaw the couple’s recent tour of the Commonwealth. She has proved so popular over at Kensington Palace that Meghan and Harry are desperately trying to convince her to stay on.
“They are aware that they have lost some key staff members in recent months, but they really like Sam and want her to stay on,” says a source. Harry is said to be particularly fond of Cohen, having known her since he was a young boy, while Meghan has also struck up a rapport with her.
According to Kensington Palace, though, Cohen’s appointment remains temporary. A statement released in April said, “The recruitment process to appoint Mr. Lane Fox’s successor is ongoing. In the meantime, Samantha Cohen, who will shortly complete her tenure as assistant private secretary to Her Majesty the Queen following delivery of a successful CHOGM [Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting], has kindly agreed to serve as interim private secretary, starting late summer.” Sources say there are no plans for Cohen to leave the household anytime soon. “She is working on long-term projects and is staying put for the time being.” That should be one less worry for Harry and Meghan.
William and Kate’s private secretary quit less than a year after their wedding too, and it was because he had “organized” the changeover from Waity Kate to Duchess Kate, and after that he was like “I’m retiring.” It’s quite a big deal for these old guys to manage a royal wedding and stage-manage the debut of a duchess. Anyway, as others have pointed out, royal staffers aren’t paid very well and there’s generally a high turnover with assistants and communications officers anyway, so maybe this is a good thing – Meghan will be able to find an assistant who will remember to iron her clothes and take the tags out, and the Sussexes will be able to hire a private secretary who is dedicated to all things Sussex.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Women who have standards and vision are called “difficult” while men who don’t have standards and vision are called “losers.” This, too, shall pass.
The lane guy i think had planned on leaving after 15 years. Samantha was only to work 6months.
The assistant? Who knows? But apparently she was the one stuck handling the Thomas disaster during the wedding.
And he’s since made legal threats about visitation. Perhaps Melissa decided against handling Thomas all over again next spring.
It’s possible Harry or Meghan were volatile or difficult last few months. It would be easy to understand why they might not be at their best.
Thomas gave the entire UK heartburn all summer.
And she is pregnant for the first time at 37. A second or third pregnancy at 37 is not a big deal if the earlier pregnancies went smoothly.
A first pregnancy at 37 makes providers more cautious. And the rate of first trimester loss is much higher in this group.
This couple had early pregnancy to worry about. And her lovely dad.
Even if the stories are true, I’m inclined to not pass too much judgement at this point.
“The assistant? Who knows? But apparently she was the one stuck handling the Thomas disaster during the wedding.
And he’s since made legal threats about visitation. Perhaps Melissa decided against handling Thomas all over again next spring.”
Hershey, if the quoted is true about Meghan’s assistant and is why she quit, I do not blame her. Honestly, TM should be handled by someone with a lot of experience in contentious public squabbles for PR, and an attorney. There aren’t many people who’d want to manage that hornets nest, not without being well compensated, and I can’t blame them.
Honestly after the summer of Thomas and being pregnant first time at 37, there are plenty of reasons for all of these people to be tired or short tempered.
All parties here were probably not at their best the last six months, and the assistant had a lot to deal with it sounds like.
Even if the story is true, it’s not surprising, given the circumstances. Think it’s fair to give Harry, Meghan, and the staff a pass on this one, if it’s true at all.
And if it is, whoever leaked it shame on them. It seems like a credible leak, given the sources and the statements from the reporters.
It seems pretty crappy for anyone working in a palace office to put this out to the papers. Even if it’s true. They have lots of material comfort, some of which is provided by British taxpayers. But they still human beings with feelings and any human would not be at their best given the events.
It’s when times are difficult that you are supposed to show nobility of character. It wasn’t as if someone was dying, it was just a wedding. If they really behaved badly, it’s not right. I’ve known and seen people at death’s door be gracious.
Can I just say, the vast majority of the UK population has no idea who Thomas Markle is.
KP leaked it when they insisted on giving her a glowing review in a statement. That’s why the story generated all the rumors. KP doesn’t give glowing public reviews about their employees like that. It’s usually “no comment.” It could be innocent and she really was just an awesome PA and Meghan wanted that known. She wouldn’t realize all the speculation it would cause. It came off to a lot of people who are used to KP’s way of handling things as if they were sucking up to Melissa for some reason. It also didn’t help that the press made her name sound like an alias. There were a few press articles about Meghan hiring Melissa Crowe last spring because she had worked with Madonna.
@Ainsley7, your theory is interesting. Have they really not done this for previous assistants/employees?
Lane’s retirement was on the books before the wedding and Cohen was a temporary hire…time to hire new staff, simple.
This.
Edward Lane and Samantha Cohen were always temporary placements. They were simply helping Meghan through the transition period. Lane put in his retirement last year and Cohen was on loan temporarily from the Queen and was only supposed to stay 6 months after the wedding.
This is much ado about nothing, especially since there has been a lot of turnover recently with Buckingham Place, Prince Charles and the Cambridges.
Obviously Meghan draws a lot of clicks because there are so many nothing stories about her. They will have a lot of staff turnover in the early years as they figure out their priorities and how they intend to balance work and family. It’s to be expected and not newsworthy.
This could be all about timing – especially since they announced they are splitting up the offices of K&W and H&M. I just don’t see Meghan as a bitch.
Co-sign! The timing makes perfect sense in light of that change. So she has high standards? Um, that’s a good thing. She’s obviously a very intelligent woman who puts a lot of herself into her work and it’s disheartening to see that people still equate that with being a demanding shrew.
Having high standards doesn’t mean you should be rude to the staff working for you or that you should throw tantrums when you don’t get your way. That would make anyone sound beyond childish, spoiled, and bratty/bitchy. The interesting tidbit in the Times piece was about how Kate&Meghan have different approaches with the way they treat the staff. I think the timing of the household spilt was a good one because if credible reports are leaked again, I guess nobody can blame the Cambridge’s.
@SK – You are assuming a lot out of nothing. There was nothing in there that outright said that she was rude to staff. If that was true, a lot of people would have left by now. This narrative is clearly – look Kate is an angel, Meghan is a demanding witch. I am sure they are both very respectful and kind to their staff. Perhaps there is a difference in the expectations that each couple has for their staff but that does not necessarily mean that oh one is a controlling pushy person and the other is this understanding angel.
This really isn’t a story as staff turnover happens.
Meghan is going to be subjected to the same scrutiny as other royal women. Make-up, clothes, expenses, staff turnover. She isn’t off limits to critiques from the public.
IMO, what’s different in her case, is the media usually build you up and eventually tears you down. Meghan was never really “built up” so to speak. She was constantly subjected to racism and even a compliment in the media seemed more like a back handed slagging.
After all the tearing down the media has done to Meghan, she is in six place in favorite Royals, not bad for being on the job five months.
Really? I definitely think she’s been built up to be torn down. The only negative crap is about her family and even that gives her a lot of sympathy as most ppl relate to dysfunctional families… Including Harry. Everyone loves Doria. I’m not saying there haven’t been comments about her race but are we really taking daily mail commenters seriously? Go criticise everyone… Except Trump.
I really don’t think she’s been treated more unfairly as any other royal bride. In fact for being a divorced actress she’s sailed on in there fairly seamlessly.
But she will be torn down. I personally am sick of the blanket coverage. Not her fault but it will happen to everyone in her position. I don’t think she knew what she was getting in to.
Are you American? The British have been vicious to her.
The British tabloids. Not the British public.
I haven’t seen anything particularly negative written about her and I’m British. I’ve seen much more ridiculously positive stuff, which annoys me just as much the undeserved negative. Why does everything have to be so extreme?
I’m British too. The Daily Mail (and its appalling commenters) really have it in for her. The Sun is not particularly sympathetic. The Express and the Mirror generally seem ok, and the broadsheets generally seem to like her.
We Brits had wall to wall positive coverage of their tour on all of our news channels, so it baffles me when people constantly claim the British media are out to take her down! I don’t know anyone who reads the daft Daily Mail! The tabloids can get away printing whatever they want – even if it’s made up. But I do believe The Times because they never post trashy tabloid stories and they would have never run the article if they didn’t have credible sources to confirm/back up the story.
I also agree with this…”Meghan is going to be subjected to the same scrutiny as other royal women. Make-up, clothes, expenses, staff turnover. She isn’t off limits to critiques from the public.” Meghan has received the same criticism as the other Royal women. The big difference is the horrible racism and xenophobia. Kate received a ton of hateful classism as well.
And these articles in the press are click bait. It’s all about the number of people visiting sites. Meg just needs to keep on keeping on, and her next event or project will be another home-run.
Gosh.. Meghan has looked pretty unHappy the last couple of appearances. I wonder if its all starting to hit home that this is her life now…. The excitement of the wedding is gone.
I’ve had a feeling all along that this will end in tears. She and Harry barely knew each other. Engaged after a yearish and a lot of that was apart as she was finishing Suits…. At 37 she has to change her whole life. She can’t even pop out and meet her friends for a coffee.
It all looks like a misery to me. Kate had years to adjust and know what she was in for. Plus the benefit of not really knowing a life outside of royalty after 18. I don’t really think Americans get how humdrum royal life is… They see it as a fairytale. English people are born and reared with the scandals and in and outs of it all. Could be wrong but I see it all exploding.
You would like her to be miserable, at 37 you should know what you want.
Memorials are sad occasions, should she have been smiling?
Kensington Palace is not a prison, the Duchess can pop out if she want or have friends over for coffee.
Pity Meghan did not wait around ten years for Harry, she was busy living her life and working, not making her self available for a man’s convenience.
She probably isn’t miserable with her new life, but she’s pregnant and is most likely exhausted and not feeling good all the time. These pictures were taken at a memorial, and it would be inappropriate if she went around giggling, grinning and cheerful, so I think her serious look here is fine and doesn’t mean she’s miserable. Marrying into the BRF will change the life she was used to, and take a while to adjust, but if she’s in love with her husband, she’ll probably be happy and excited about starting a family
I think she has morning sickness. That’s what women miserable with morning sickness look like when their mask drops briefly.
Exactly, she’s pregnant and it was a solumn occasion. There’s another photo where’s she’s chatting with the wife of the head of Germany, and she’s smiling.
Yep, what I lovingly referred to as, morning, noon and night sickness. Every day brought some new thing I’d never experienced. My second trimester I just became exhausted, I’d come home from work every day and pass out for two hours. It’s no wonder my son is my only child. lol
PattyCakes, it’s fine if it was that way for you, but it wasn’t for me. Every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. You can’t make a sweeping generalization like that about pregnancy because ten different women will have ten different experiences, and different experiences with each pregnancy.
I was ill and vomiting throughout my first pregnancy until the eighth month.
Nice concern trolling there. As another poster said, it’s a somber event that called for a muted demeanor. I just find it funny that people will tell others not to assume things from pictures of other royals…but once it’s Meghan, they can craft whatever dramatic storylines they’d like. No one knows how she truly feels, least of all you.
Her last few appearances were solemn occasions. You would prefer she giggled and played with her hair?
I would imagine it’s pretty freaking dull at the best of times. How many meets and greets can you do with a smile plastered on? Ugh.
As an American, I will say all the protocol will weigh on her. We Americas are a fiercely independent lot.
@jenni
If you don’t work at someplace like the Enquirer, you should!
Hi @jenni, i definitely did not read that you wanted anyone to miserable, just that you thought she might be not feeling great.
Agree that being royal and a princess does not magically make problems disappear.
They did not wait very long to marry, but at 36 she needed to start trying asap if they wanted kids. It is not as difficult to try for a second or third baby at 37, but trying for the first time at 36 does not always work out.
Hopefully, they will make it as a couple. Both being in their thirties is a plus in their favor.
Hopefully those around them will be supportive of them. The short courtship, the dad drama, and the pregnancy have put a lot on their plate.
Harry is the most popular Royal, topping the Queen, folks must not have heard of his tantrum about the tiara with emeralds.
Less than half the nation, 48%, had a positive opinion of Charles. I guess his big “70th” media push didn’t have the impact he was looking for.
77% Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex
74% Queen Elizabeth II
73% Prince William, Duke of Cambridge
64% Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge
56% Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
55% Meghan, Duchess of Sussex
48% Prince Charles
Princess Anne
Zara Phillips
29% Camilla,
Royalty isn’t a popularity contest otherwise Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden would have taken the King’s place at 18 years old.
You pretty much get what your given. They should be happy to have popular members that can support the “firm” and probably do enjoy Harrys good will.
I wonder if Meghan being polled as more popular than Charles will affect his feelings for her (considering how jealous he was of Diana’s popularity). Maybe the coming grandchild will mitigate it, but considering the press bashing he’s pulled with W & K, and concerning the kids, it just makes me wonder. He’s a pretty petty man.
See, I do think these polls need context. For all we know, a good chunk of that 52% who don’t call Charles their favorite are simply indifferent to him. It’s better than all of that 52% outright disliking you. Sophie is rather low on the list, and it’s not surprising because she doesn’t get as much attention as the other royals. I’d bet the majority of people think she’s nice enough but don’t care about her.
I don’t believe the Queen is behind Prince Harry. She is THE QUEEN for heavens sake!! And she has been our Queen for most of us for most of our lives (all of mine @ 64). She is my TOP ROYAL and will be for as long as I live, because no matter what, she believes in her oaths, vows and duties .
The Telegraph breaks down the numbers and gives more context. I still find the popularity polls of the Royals problematic. For me, it simply makes for harmless gossip! I can’t remember the break down of those who were neutral on Charles. I was just surprised as all the positive media he has been receiving lately, he wasn’t more favourably reviewed by the nation.
@jan90067 I wonder too the impact of Meghan being so favourable. I hope her popularity with the nation doesn’t backfire on her within the Firm.
Eh, Harry has done many messed up things in the past and he’s always been loved by the public. I don’t think anything will change his likeability factor. He’s just “one of the lads, Harry” to many people. Whether that is true or not, is another story, but the majority of the public see him as Diana’s charming son.
So where do I apply?
@Kittycat – Beware before you send in that application. The royals are alleged to pay crap wages, assuming it’s a privilege just to work for them. You might get free travel, of course, but that’s about it. Think about your old age before you go for that interview . . .
Isn’t Meghan’s personal assistant Amy (Pickering? Pickerel?)? The blond woman who walks behind her at engagements and collects her gifts? My guess is the Melissa person, if this story is even true, is just some lower level office staffer or we would have heard of her before now, like we have with Amy and ELF and Samantha the Panther.
Or perhaps Melissa came from W&K’s offices and this is another sign the Sussexes will be splitting off from KP and they want staff who are solely loyal to them? In any case, I don’t see the big deal…staff people come and go both by the staffer’s choice and by the employer’s choice.
I hope the split from KP is coming soon because the horrible raci$ts comments being allowed in royal accounts is disgusting and needs to stop. Harry and Meghan need staff who will be monitoring that sort of thing.
No she’s her private secretary, not her assistant. They are two different jobs. I am assuming they may have multiple personal assistants? I don’t know because we don’t really ever get a full list of their staff so it’s hard to say who’s coming and who’s going. Plus there are also people called courtiers in the palace? Does anyone know what they do?
Courtier is the general word for all their staff. So, private secretaries and assistance and such are all coutiers because they are members of their court.
Oh, I didn’t know that. Thanks Ainsley7
The Cambridges got criticized for all these things as well. Apart from the racist comments the rest of it is nothing new. Kate & her family were repeatedly attacked for years. The only difference now is that the Sussexes are the ones in the firing line.
All the stories we’d hear about W&K being difficult people readily believed it & lapped it up. The latest accusations against H&M makes it a level playing field.
+1
I think we have actually heard from a lot of sources for years and years that William is difficult. Kate I don’t know.
It all depends if you choose to believe ‘sources’. There have been many sources that claims Harry has a temper, Meghan’s former best friend called her a diva not unlike what were hearing now. These can be the rantings of people with axes to grind or they can be true. The point is some will readily believe stories that fits with their own point of view regardless of the credibility of the sources.
I don’t think either the Cambridges or Sussexes are difficult people or divas. It’s probably just people with axes to grind (as myo has mentioned). I do believe that all these negative stories coming out so far (including tiaragate) are Charles’ doing. Even when there are legitimate sources, that does not mean these sources don’t have an agendas. These stories about both his kids and wives are PR tactics by Charles and he’s having his courtiers boost his image while bringing down his kids. Horrible really.
“Apart from the racist comments” sounds a bit dismissive like it’s no big thing. If a lot of the comments are being generated simply because she is black, then, no, it’s not the same at all. I sure wish for the day that I, as a black woman, can brush off racist comments as easily as some of you.
@Gigi La Moore
I agree
Racism is not dismissive, neither is sexism, classism & misogyny. We shouldn’t dismiss or downgrade the victimization of someone. The point being both Kate & Meghan have been victimized & none of us can put a grade on their personal experiences.
MVO, yes, a grade can be placed on this. That’s like saying robbery and rape shouldn’t be graded. Both a violation but I would argue that to a victim, one would be considered worse. A woman being called lazy is wrong but a woman being picked on because she is black sure the heck is worse and to have it dismissed as if the criticism is the same is very sad especially from those who “claim” to be woke.
I doubt anyone would dismiss it if it were anti semitic comments.
Nobody has the right to “grade” anybody’s experiences. Using an example of a women being robbed vs raped, which is worse? Nobody has the right to determine how any victim should feel, respond, heal, their journey is their own. It doesn’t get to be under scrunity for them to respond under pressures from others who deemed their trauma not tragic enough.
What are you trying to say here? What gives you the right to determine that rape is worse for one women versus another women who was robbed? Why is it ok to even go here?
There are currently comments on the KP site wishing death to her baby or that she ends up in a car accident like Diana. And they are from racist twitter accounts that aren’t being banned by KP. And that’s after the media went on a spree saying she was from the ghetto and Harry got fed up and intervened. How is this the same as saying Kate’s mom was an airline attendant? There were negative comments about Kate’s family background, but there is an increased level of hatred happening with Meghan. It’s not the same at all and it is disingenuous to pretend that it is. It’s like saying Obama faced the same amount of threats as Bush.
@nic919 sad isn’t it that people can’t see the difference. There are no words, I just shake my head in despair. Sign of the times I’m afraid, we are definitely going backwards!
There have been death threats made against the Cambridge children & kidnapping plots. Just this year a person was jailed for planning an attack at George’s school. If you followed the KP account for a long time you would also have seen many vile messages made against Kate especially. The senior royals get threats made against them all the time so let’s not try to make out that there is only one victim here.
@MYO Totally agree. How can we act like someone planning an attack at your child’s school is not something serious. Or being a victim of social class prejudice in Britain.
You can’t All Duchess Lives Matter this, Meghan’s experiences are drastically different. Her humanity is seen as lesser because of the color of her skin, it’s apalling and nothing like being called work shy or a social climber. The latter the accuse Meghan of too btw.
There have been attacks on Kate which are sexist and classist in nature. Attacks on Meghan have been sexist, classist and racist in nature. I am a white woman who will argue that the racism adds levels of harm that I CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE.
Being raped is worse than being robbed. I’ve been robbed and I’d take that experience any day over being raped.
Last week in my workplace breakroom I was with some fellow colleagues. We were discussing Armistice, I made a comment on how all the tributes for Armistice 100 were so touching. A co-worker looked at me and said he was surprised, I asked why? He said he felt I could not fully appreciate Armistice since I wasn’t really “British”. I couldn’t understand since I was born in the UK, raised in the UK, went to Uni in England, my passport says “British Citizen”. He said since my father was from Nigeria, we don’t have “British history, British ties” so I’m not really “British” in his eyes.
I don’t need a lesson on classism and racism in my own country, I face this garbage all the time.
What would be nice is if we didn’t feel so entiltled to say that rape/robbery is worse. We don’t get to make that distinction for others. That becomes a very problematic thing to put on victims, our judgement of their trauma.
@Reese…that is really awful…my African paternal grandmother’s first husband was killed in the First World War fighting Germans, and my African paternal grandfather was awarded a medal for outstanding service during the First World War. Both fought in German Cameroon. The levels of ignorance are amazing.
Yeah.. As a person with two black parents, Megan is not black this one drop rule needs to end. She is a biracial woman. Two different catergories. However I do agree that Megan is great differently because of the Black Part of her.
Yup. Very true. Ultimately, people believe what they want to.
It is weird there is such a fuss over the assistant leaving – my first assumption was that this was the assistant who had left the tag on the dress and instead of being fired, she quit to make way for someone perhaps more experienced etc.
Yes! I though this was more of a I’ll let you breakup with me before I breakup with you situation so that this Melissa person could save face!! I’m surprised more people don’t think that.
They made a big deal after the Cambridge’s assistants left too. I recall it was more about how William is a diva that doesn’t listen though. Which… no one is surprised? And the press protects the golden boy.
I still don’t understand the tag on the dress fiasco. It seemed like it was the washing instructions. Beyond that – Meghan could have / should have noticed it as well. She, Harry, and every assistant that looked at her before she left for the event should have noticed it. It passed through so many people and nobody noticed.
I don’t know how you can place the blame solely upon assistants when it comes creased clothes or tags left on clothes or whatever. Meghan has been an actress for a number of years, she can check her outfit before she leaves.
It’s nice this site is a Meghan defender as many are so nasty to her.
But I think we all can agree that the Daily Mail just makes stuff up. I don’t think anyone thinks Meghans bad makeup is Hollywood and Kate’s bad makeup is English rose. They’re both overdoing it (in different ways) for the cameras. They need a new tutorial or for more important events to hire someone.
I think working for the royals is a great job for a short time, A great thing to put on your resume and then keep it moving.
Its a door-opening career move, tons of experience and travel, but that’s about it.
You’re right, the wages are low working for the Royal family, but it looks good on a resume.
It’s not remotely the same, but I used to be an Exec Assistant for two senior executives that had crazy schedules (meetings from 7am to 6pm were a slow day) and traveled non-stop. After almost three years of working 10-12 hour days with no vacation and little time off for holidays, I was like the walking dead. I loved working for them, but a pace like that is not sustainable in the long run. I don’t regret taking the job, but I also don’t regret walking away when I needed to. The Devil Wears Prada is only a mild exaggeration when it comes to life as an assistant. Still, you’re right, work experience like that stands out on a resume.
FWIW I lived in Toronto and worked in film/ television while she was on Suits and it was pretty well known that she was a bit of a pill. Generally nice, but difficult and a bit “bratty”- a term thrown around frequently regarding her. I think that’s the position Lainey writes from. Lots of things can be true at once.
I always distrust rumors that call women “difficult”. We saw with the #metoo how they were all lies.
Maybe! It was mostly women that I know/spoke to, but you never know!
This. A woman’s difficult is a man’s assertive. She’s been on the record saying she questioned gratuitous underwear scenes on Suits. Shrug. If I was a man who wanted to see her in a skimpy outfit and got told no, I’d call her a brat and a pill too.
Yeah. I’ve always viewed those kinds of rumors with a little bit of skepticism, but even more so now, after Trump’s win and after #MeToo. Plus, sometimes any type of negative emotion or mood expressed by a woman gets automatically interpreted as proof that she’s a bitch or a spoiled brat- especially if there are circumstances in her life that make people feel that she should shut up and be grateful. This is sometimes even more true for women of color- being seen as having a bad attitude.
I could see this being true in the sense that Meghan is assertive and she knows what she wants, she is going to be forceful about it. I can tell by the way she carries herself that if she is not happy with something, she is going to be make herself heard. It’s hard because women are often labeled difficult when men are just being demanding but you know “they are just being men!” Time will tell!
Exactly Amelie. Whenever someone describes a woman as “generally nice, but difficult” I automatically think “assertive” and assertive women ruffle people’s feathers, men and women.
Women are not supposed to be assertive. I had a male colleague tell me one time after a team meeting “you know WH, you are a nice enough girl, but could you chill with the arguing. It makes it difficult to work with you.” NVM that I had literally only spoke up in the meeting maybe once or twice EVER by this point (was still new to the org) and tried to be as deferential as possible.
With Meghan, I think she is blunt and exacting and people read that a certain way. But everything I have read about her is that she is also deeply caring and nice too. People can be both. They can be strong willed and hold high standards while also being generally nice. It is just that MEN get rewarded for that combo and women get derided.
“With Meghan, I think she is blunt and exacting and people read that a certain way. But everything I have read about her is that she is also deeply caring and nice too.”
But that doesn’t need to be either or. You can have two people who are both very blunt or both very sure of what they want- and depending on the way they approach things can get two very different things across. Right now I’m sitting next to a supervisor of another department. The woman is somewhat blunt, and she’s very sure of what she wants and what she expects. But the way she phrases things, and the tone she uses come off as a very caring person to me. She has high expectations, and doesn’t put up with garbage work from people or dumb excuses. But she manages to do it in a way that comes off as very kind, very almost no-nonsense motherly toned when she speaks. She allows them to make mistakes in a non-micro-managing way, but will work very hard with the rep to get things right and spend some time coaching people where they need it. I think she’s absolutely lovely. But there are other people in this building who have similar expectations and aren’t afraid to say what they want – but they do it in a way that can come off as very demeaning.
And I know that the “when men do it it’s called assertive, or a go-getter attitude” thing gets thrown around a lot – and sometimes that’s 100% true. But how many of us around here will call men out for that kind of behavior? I’d say an awful lot. While some people might reward that kind of thing – there are plenty of people out there who rightly call assholes assholes.
Now – I have no idea what Meghan is like. But if she’s going about being confident and assertive in a way that is demeaning or obnoxious – that’s being an asshole no matter the gender. If she’s going about it in a way that makes her point clear, but still is respectful of others who haven’t disrespected her then she’s unfairly being labeled. The thing is – we just don’t know. Only people who have dealt with her directly know what she is like, and no matter how lovely she comes across to the public there’s still a possibility the ‘difficult’ label could be rightly earned. It’s not completely black and white, and I think people need to realize that everyone is human, and that no matter how great someone is about some things they can be less great about others – and vise versa.
Agree Erinn! 100% I think as the years go by we’ll know more about Meghan as stories will continue to “leak.” But as long as she’s respectful and kind to those around her then I think being assertive isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The thing about the PA leaving doesn’t really tell us much about how Meghan is as a person when dealing with staff. I am very biased, I admit that so I am interpreting KatieBo’s comment about Meghan “being generally nice but bratty” as someone who is respectful with others but blunt in what she wants.
If she wants things done a certain way then she has every right to expect that it is done as requested.
Also did she have any say on who were her assistants? They were probably just assigned. I hope she gets to interview this time.
They are using the pushy American Actress theme. Ridiculous
Agreed. She was a working actress after all. You have to have some pretty thick skin and a tenacity to make it through. This new venture may be more of a role than she had thought and maybe there is some truth. I know I’ve been a bear without my morning tea, we can all be difficult. It comes with human nature.
@Katiebo….Sorry, but what does ‘ a bit of a pill’ and ‘bratty’ mean??
I wonder how big is Meghan and Harry’s stuff overall. Aside from the office stuff, the secretary and the assistant, they probably have other people working for them at home. Meg likes to cook but I’m assuming they have a cook anyway, eight? Does anyone know how many people most likely work for them at home?
If they are still living at Nottingham cottage and I think they are still, then I don’t think they have a live in staff. It’s pretty small (comparatively) and doesn’t really have room for staff. They probably have a housekeeper or a cleaner that comes in a few days a week to clean and do laundry. I don’t believe they have a cook. They might have an assistant or aide who does their shopping for them. Now, their country house is bigger I believe so maybe they have more staff there.
It has been reported they live in their country home in the Cotswolds for the most part. I would guess they have a full household of staff, from cleaners to cooks, groundskeeper, multiple personal assistants etc.
I really dislike it when the kate fans try to make it seem like the hate that both meghan and kate received are the same. You can’t compare the two the moment when you’re race is being used against you where you being called names its a different league altogether the moment you go on the palace instragham account their people active using racial slurs against meghan wishing her and her unborn baby death because the color of her skin. You guys are trying to minimize the racist comments against meghan as well kate get hate too kate not dislike for the color of her skin. You guys need to stop with the hate the same when it clearly isn’t the racial code language some people use to describe meghan its clearly as day to some of us .
It’s ridiculous. There is classism, racism, sexism, and misogyny at play here and Meghan is getting hit on all four barrels. As to Kate, definitely no racism, definitely classism, no sexism (Seriously, people were complaining that she DIDN’T work not that she was), and probably a tinge of misogyny. These things are not the same. These women are not the same. And just because mean things are/were said about Kate doesn’t minimize or negate the vicious things are said about Meghan. I even side-eye the ongoing her makeup is too dark conversation. Uh, her skin is darker than everyone else in the family. Of course her makeup is darker.
I side eye the makeup thing sometimes as well. Especially when Meghan had what, to me, was an obvious tan and people on here were describing her skin tone as “too much bronzer,” like what? That’s literally the color of her skin.
YES!!!! It is the color of her skin.
Nope, it is not the colour of her skin. Meghan is light skinned, we have the same skin tone as we’re both biracial and I tend to agree with the comments when people say meghan is overdoing it with the bronzer/highlighter. Meghan looks like she tans naturally a lot during the summer, I’m the same, but pics of her from before show that she wasn’t overdoing it with the bronzer. Her makeup was different – much more natural looking.
You know what is tiring? The constant need to bash this site for its Meghan coverage. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. I think this site’s OTT stanning for Angelina Jolie is ridiculous, so I don’t read posts about her here. Simple.
As it is, I love how much posters here love Meghan. I don’t agree with some of the Cambridge commentary but I rarely find it over the top negative (its usually a few select posters who go too hard on them). There are a LOT of royal watching sites that absolutely HATE Meghan but love Kate so folks can find their people there if you don’t like the bias of this blog.
I am so often perplexed by how in their feelings people get over the fact that people like Meghan…I’ve never seen people demand to know why someone likes a royal the way people demand this of Meghan fans…
Thank you for saying this. Why people get into knots cause posters on this site like Meghan is beyond me. DON’T click on Meghan posts and then you don’t have to read about folks “fawning over her and elevating her”…..it’s really that simple. It’s crazy that some posters get mad cause others like and care about Meghan.
Thank you!
Thank you. This is one of the very few sites that doesn’t trash Meghan or have shady coverage masquerading as positivity. The fact that certain posters are so offended that people here not only like Meghan but also want to defend her is telling. If some of you are so bothered by people taking up for Meghan, then there’s a couple of simple solutions: don’t click on Meghan articles here or don’t visit altogether.
I do wonder if those people complaining about the so-called “over the top adulation” of Meghan feel similarly about other sites that idolize and prop Kate up at her expense. Something tells me that might be a ‘nope’….
Thank you I’m so sick and tired of of people coming on here with their condensation attitude demanding to know why we like meghan then turn around and called us names for being fans of her. It’s like it ok for them to come on here spread unfounded rumors about meghan or call her names or questions whether or not she can have kids like that ok but the moment you point the way the British press reports on meghan being unfair all hell break loose. You can’t even make mild criticism of kate without her fans losing their minds calling anyone who dare says anything against kate as jealous but when it’s comes to criticism of meghan everything they said is valid and true no one is jealous of meghan she just a social climber and user diva and is not fitted to be a Duchess because she not as perfect regal as kate .
There is definitely a “tone” to these comments…if you are black, they accuse you of only liking Meghan because she is part black.
If you are white and like Meghan it’s “why do you even like her!!? Shes half black. You should be stanning for Kate! Get on code!”.
I notice they get extra vicious and feel betrayed when it’s white people who like Meghan.
Lots of “they’re stealing our men” type comments.
Btw, it’s not just white women making racist comments, they’re the majority but there is also lots of “WOC”, Like asian women, and latinas as well as sprinkles of “ethnic” whites from Europe.
A lot of them feel superior to black and half black women and are bothered about harry choosing meg.
I think these past few years have really “awoken” people and have made us all realize it’s not just white men who can be racist. Some of us knew, of course. But most people didn’t quite get that white women can be equally, if not more, vicious than the men.
Eyes have definitely been opened.
I wish both harry and meg the best and may God bless and protect them from the demons roaming this earth. (Amen).
Justsayin you have hit the nail on the head!
I came here a little while ago as it was the only site that seemed to appreciate Meghan and give a balanced critique. I never commented but in recent months the tone has changed and I’m seeing the usual undertones of racism seeping through and try to add my 2 pence worth as I feel the need to stick up for Meghan a bit. Give a short minute and we will start seeing the same type of comments posted on DM! What a sad world!
Wisdomheaven I just wanted to point out that I see the good work you do on RD despite that site being so hate filled.
Ah, thanks! I have not been over there in recent weeks and honestly am not sure when or if I will return to posting there. A lot of great posters have left 🙁
Right on, @wisdomheaven.
For that and the longer post above.
The difference between the whole makeup thing is really simple. Kate started this lifestyle quite young and had to learn on the job. I can honestly say that my makeup in my 20’s was not good. I followed trends instead of learning what works for me and what doesn’t. Meghan has been an actress and in the spotlight for many years now and is almost 40. She absolutely SHOULD know how to apply her makeup
Kate was a grown woman when she became a royal. I mean she was 29!! when she got married. Kate stans need to stop acting like she was a teenager when she entered the firm. You do her a disservice to infantilize her.
I’m sure Kate knew how to do her make-up the way she liked it. Just like Meghan does her make-up the way she like to.
Meh, if I had was hired by the Royals I would work for them on a temporary basis too and enhance my resume. Nothing against them personally but I think it was mentioned that the salaries are not over the top and I believe there are more interesting and lucrative places to work at.
And when did any marriage that began with dazzled eyes and white veils and ecstatic highs not have to come down to earth?! It’s what you do with it AFTER that down to earth moment that matters. The media and the public, in a case like this, are complicit in holding back reality, which really doesn’t do a couple like this any favors.
I’m sure there have been bumps and it’s probably turned out to be a bit less thrilling and more boring than Meghan might have thought; Harry’s always struck me as immature and petulant, so maybe he’s come back to earth, too, now that the razzle dazzle of the wedding is over and it’s back to royal work, and maybe he isn’t handling it well.
No one really knows what’s going on behind the scenes. The BRF are very good, from what I can see, at smoothing over rough PR spots.
Meanwhile, I’m hoping for some socko gowns and jewels at tomorrow night’s birthday bash at BP for Charles!
Is it time to have fun again with all this yet?
@ myo why do you keep trying to compare the level of hate kate gets verses meghan people keep point out over and over that meghan is being subjected to racially abuse she is again being target not because she didn’t work for years during college she being targeted because she biracial. Enough with well kate gets hate too she will never be subject to the nasty vile racially abuse meghan is having people wishing her unborn child death because the color of her skin why do you keep trying to dismiss with the well they all get hate so its no big deal.it is a big deal meghan is targeted because she is black woman stop trying to normalize it with well they all get the same treatment when they don’t it’s been clear since day one that meghan will never be treated as equal she will be regarded as less than by the British press and by some of haters.
Some people want to “both sides” even when it’s clearly not equivalent.
I highly doubt that the Queen and Charles would be fond of her if she was a raging drama queen that couldn’t keep staff. Yeah.. whatever…
Even if these stories that were leaked are true, I am not ready to pass judgement on this couple.
Darling dad Thomas made everyone miserable all summer in a spectacular way that other royal in-laws avoid.
She must have become pregnant right after the wedding. First time pregnancy at 37 brings more worry that a second or third pregnancy at 37.
The miscarriage rate is much higher for a first time mom at Meghans age.
Being royal or having money does not fully protect anyone from this kind of worry. It really doesn’t. Living in a huge house does not insulate anyone from family problems.
If they were difficult, I’m not sure it is really a failing this time. Most people would be on a shorter fuse.
This idea that royals somehow are not affected by stressful events just is not true. They poop just like everyone else.
lol “they poop just like everyone else”
I work for the government in my country and even we have a rotation of personnel on a regular basis. Some are not satisfied with the salary, some want more in terms of carrier, some don’t like the atmosphere or the people at work. People move on.
She on the other hand can be all the things people accuse her off and still be ok. People are complicated and she is not a small little girl. But really I don’t think she is the one and only making decisions of hiring or firing people right now so putting that on her shoulders is not fair.
She is and will be harshly criticized for who she is and race is the main factor here, no kidding. How dare she a 37 old, mixed race, once married woman dare to marry one of the most beloved single princes out there and be part of one of the most known and rich monarchies??? How? I have colleagues saying despicable things about her when all this became public and I was appalled. She is one year younger than me and she was called a “n….. leftover”. It made me reconsider some relationships there. The only thing she can do is enjoy her marriage, her life, her baby (ies) , her work and try and tune the world out as much as she can. And hire not one but 3 PA at once and parade them around to make peoples heads explode of envy.
Whoever her assistant is should leave IMO. The assistant job isn’t exactly include job duties like curing cancer and whoever her assistant was let her walk out in front of the press with the tags still on her dress. And that probably wasn’t the first screw up I’m sure.
There’s really nothing to say here. If Samantha Cohen was only meant to stay on for six months, it seems somewhat ridiculous for anyone to assume that the reason she left is because Meghan is a diva. Or that the reason they’re asking her to continue is anything other than, “Hey, you’re doing a great job, and finding a replacement is a pain, so please stay on at little longer.”
Firstly, biologically there is no such thing as ‘race’. I have white blond blue eyed cousins who had a Great Gran from South India. I treat racist comments with the contempt they deserve. Secondly Royals must function with a lot of adrenaline coursing through their bodies, the public scrutiny would wipe most people out so having helpers that are on the ball and efficient is essential. I’d say the odd snap and shout when things aren’t right is perfectly natural. Many Royals are known not to suffer fools and apparently the nicest to staff are Prince Phillip and Prince Charles who is also very generous, it’s just a new Meghan bashing meme from papers like The Fail
Prince of Wales released new photos. Will you be covering those? They’re lovely!