Dickie Arbiter used to be the Queen’s go-to communications guy. He left the Queen’s service in 2000, and he’s spent the ensuing years as a royal commentator and general fly in the ointment. I remembered that Prince Charles doesn’t care much for Arbiter, and Arbiter strikes me as someone extremely old-school, the sort of person who thinks that everything the Queen does is brilliant and everything done by everyone else in the royal family is utter sh-t. Anyway, Arbiter has been chiming in a lot later about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Arbiter criticized the expense of Meghan’s baby shower (which her friends paid for) and he also threw shade on Harry for planning to take paternity leave. So what’s new? Arbiter continues to find new and exciting ways to tell a woman of color to “know her place,” basically.
The Queen’s former aide has warned Meghan Markle that she needs to respect royal staff and should stop “trying to be clever”. Royal expert Dickie Arbiter said that the Duchess of Sussex should be aware she is just a “supporting player” and that there is only “one star in the monarchy” – the Queen.
Speaking to Nine News Australia, Dickie said: “What Meghan has got to do is forget she is on the red carpet of show business – she is now on the crimson carpet of monarchy.”
Dickie said that Meghan needs to realise her pecking order in the royal family, and that she’s even below her husband Prince Harry. He added: “She plays a supporting role, not just to Harry but to the Queen as well.”
Speaking of the recent report in Tatler than Meghan has been given the nickname Me-Gain by Kensington Palace staff, he said: “I put a big question mark over it…. The officials there, yes, there are probably one or two or maybe three or four who might not like the way Meghan operates.”
Dickie added that Meghan has got to “settle down” when she returns from her maternity leave in autumn. The royal advisor said: “She has got to think about how she is going to operate. And the way she is going to operate is to listen to the officials. Listen to the communication secretary and operate under their advice. Don’t try and be clever. Don’t try and do things yourself.”
I’m starting to believe that Clever Meg sized up the palace communications shops pretty quickly and she decided that they couldn’t be trusted to serve her long-term (or even short-term) interests. Everyone from the communications offices to the British press to the actual Windsors, all of them keep showing their asses and revealing themselves to be extremely untrustworthy, parochial and bullying when it comes to Meghan. I still believe that all of this irritation towards Meghan from people like Arbiter and the royal reporters/commentators is because she continues to make it clear that she isn’t their plaything, and that she’s perfectly willing to go past them and operate how she sees fit.
As for the idea that Meghan is, like, trying to upstage the Queen… that was an “issue” with Diana too. Everything became The Diana Show. It’s a different time now and Meghan isn’t the Princess of Wales. But the real concern is that this vivacious American woman is going to expose the whole royal system for what it is: small, petty, racist, cruel and out of touch.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Backgrid, Avalon Red.
This guy sounds like a super huge walking asshole. He needs to take a seat. She hasn’t done anything to provoke the Queen, or anyone else. I mean, besides existing.
You just know he’s a huge racist.
He’s also on the outside looking in, particularly since he published his book about the royals against their wishes.
EXACTLY. what he’s basically saying is ‘the black lady needs to take a seat’. He can F right off with his veiled racist bullshit. I am not a BRF fan (and that includes Harry and Meghan and their insane spending), but this is just ridiculous, and disgusting. He needs to stop being such a dick, basically.
Yup, the uppity black woman needs to fall back, is basically what he’s saying.
As NOTA says, he’s on the outside of the RF. He has no access so is talking through his butt cheeks. He is a former Press Sec for the Queen but since he published a tell all he burned his bridges and is a bit bitter about it.
He’s another Wharf and Burrell – a talking sh!t head for hire.
There’s also talk his daughter the RR tried to get a position with Harry and Meghan but failed. Maybe she wanted the Head of Communications position that went to Sara Latham.
Exactly my thought. Dickie is a wannabe who wants his 15 minutes of fame too. These remarks just leave me speechless, absolutely disgusting.
@Digital Unicorn…..Absolutely, this man should be ashamed of himself, touting himself as a royal expert and making money from dissing Meghan. How dare he complain that she is too clever. So she should pretend to be stupid to please the likes of him?
He is also one of those infamous “plus royaliste que le roi”.
The queen is the queen. What is Meghan supossedly doing that could be upstaging the queen? It’s not like she’s parading around dressed head to toe in vibrant green sorbet or with a crown on her head….
This crabby has been can drag Meghan all he wants, but at the end of the day, she’s one wearing the tiara.
Yep. I had to google him and he appears to be a thousand years old. Maybe just step back and enjoy retirement dude.
Clever is often a euphemism for cunning. When someone is being sincere they use the word intelligent. Obvious racism is obvious.
I think one of the things that ruffles the feathers of people like Dickie is that Meghan has an identity beyond royal wife. She could divorce Harry tomorrow and go right back to working in Hollywood. They feel the need to ridicule her past success and fame because it offends their so-called “sensibilities” that she is not entirely beholden to Harry and the BRF. Like she’s nervy for not spending her 20’s waiting for her prince to come.
He is jealous because he started out as an actor and wasn’t very good. All of these critics are very authoritarian and
condescending in tone keep talking about Meghan knowing her place.
I’m not quite clear what Meghan has done wrong…. She’s done her engagements and has performed beautifully, so what’s the problem? Dickie can’t make the people fall in love with W&K.
“Nobody” Dickie Arbiter needs to shut it.
It’s interesting. If we’re to believe that courtiers are the ones behind at least some of the negative stories, we should consider that the palace is full of snobby, racist, classist old white men like Dickie, who don’t take kindly to Meghan’s mere existence. Maybe the employees are the terrible ones, not the royals. Remember, Dickie was indignant and obsessed every time Harry’s relationship with Meghan was reported. She was just supposed to be Harry’s “exotic” fling, not a future royal wife.
Agreed. And his first name is very fitting, hehe.
“…his first name is very fitting…”
aren’t red and crimson the….same color?
Crimson is a shade of red, but not all reds are crimson. He’s trying to be clever, but isn’t.
it would have been more powerful if he’d said the purple carpet…because isn’t purple the royal colour?
@Lizzie He is probably attempting to imply, fumblingly and with what I imagine he perceives as clever nuance, that Red = left wing credentials = inappropriate for the Royal Family, wearers of the Crimson (see https://www.royal.uk/state-opening-parliament). In other words, he’s being a colossal arse and should be led gently away for a Pink Gin by a nurse in a stiffly crackling apron or, failing such a paragon of virtue, Nanny: the sun MUST be over the yardarm SOMEWHERE in the British Empire, right?
Walking the red carpet is the long walk Hollywood actors take for award shows like the Oscar, Emmys, Grammys etc where they pose for photographers and stop for interviews. It’s literally a red carpet. So Dickie’s basically slamming Meghan for her Hollywood background as well as telling her she’s playing a supporting role and to know her place.
Shhhh. You’ll addle his mind.
If they would just shut up and enjoy the fruits of all this attention she’s bringing to the monarchy it would work out better in the long term. Oh well.
Those are some vicious bitches over there.
My money’s on the Duchess.
Mine too! I think it’s a safe bet.
Indeed. The reaction to Meghan by the Brits in general has made me look askance at the British. I thought of them as reserved yet friendly. They are a nation of incredibly clannish and hateful people. But then again millions of American women have revealed their nasty savage sides toward Meghan as well. It’s been a revealing moment for women. Pecking order and knowing one’s place are incredibly important to women apparently.
@Margaritas for Breakfast No, no and no again. We’re not a nation of around 70m incredibly clannish and hateful people. As with all nations, within all social constructs, there are clusters of bad apples. In Britain, there are those who are indeed racist; those of a “certain generation” who fear and despise progress; some of the lower middle classes who, while jockeying for admission to the middle classes, live lives of unyielding judgmentalism; the jealous, the lonely, and the keyboard psychopaths. And then there is everyone else. Humans are deeply nuanced creatures, each with their own sets of baggage, but they’re certainly not uniform. Please don’t assume that we are as one because, frankly, it’s deeply hurtful.
It’s the hateful and clannish who are usually the loudest, so it makes it seem there are a lot of them. That goes for all countries.
@jadedBrit really nicely said, and very true. Imagine if we lumped all American’s into one pile 😐
I largely agree with you, but want to share a small nuance to also consider.
This notion of “bad apples” — and “good / bad” in general — really needs to be stripped from the conversation about racism and sexism, etc. These things are woven into the fabric of our society. We all swallow and regurgitate them on a daily basis — both “good” and “bad” people. The key is recognizing these hurtful, problematic biases and resisting the urge to get defensive when people point them out.
For example, I’m black and my husband is white and Jewish. Sometimes, he says shit that is flat out racist or has a negative racial impact…and I call him out on it. I don’t think he’s a “bad” person for doing something that upholds the patriarchy or white supremacy, but I point out that the statement or action in question DOES exactly that! He does the same to me when it comes to antisemitism.
Even good people can be “racist.” Again, a large part of the work is not getting defensive and staying present to have the difficult conversations (which you are totally doing….please don’t read me wrongly (wrong ? lol); but yes, we sometimes have to make generalizations to kick-start the conversations). Actually, the key is not only listening, but BELIEVING Black women when we share and explain the pain and stress that implicit bias causes.
Margaritas, as an American, I’ve met many Brits and they’ve all been lovely and very generous. I have a feeling the normal people, as opposed to the turnip toffs, really like Meghan.
@Margaritas….please do not judge British people by what you read on DM, or magazines that are so desperate to sell copies, and exaggerate and sensationalise.
Yes, Jadedbrit. You are correct. There are clusters of dysfunction everywhere, and clusters of people just trying to get by in every country. We have the old guard here in the States, too, and I thought that we’d be free of racism and sexism when they died, but they have taught their children to think like them.
Being Anglo doesn’t have to mean being rascist. We of color see so much bias and direct racism directed at us that we can sometimes come off as blaming all white people. As Valiently Varnished eloquently wrote, individual white women have been wonderful to her, and I know many wonderful white women, too, but Trump’s election numbers told women of color something we suspected but couldn’t confirm until the election ratios were revealed of who voted for which candidate.
@Ader Thanks for your comment – and it is indeed thought provoking. I had a conversation on similar lines with @Reese. further down the page – that I’m aware of implicit biases within the social construct and have been on the receiving end of them myself. I hope to high heaven I’ve never subjected anyone to similar treatment, subconsciously or otherwise. I do examine my behaviours on a daily basis.
I understand what you’re saying re Bad Apples, good/bad and them/us; my issue was the casting of everyone from my nation as, well, hateful. Do know that there are many of us who call out bias when we’re confronted with it, and are eager and willing to listen – really listen, not interject or colour or diminish the narrative – to the lived experiences of black women. I was lucky to be raised by parents who call out bias and have always taught me to do the same. It is an uphill battle, for sure. I don’t think it effective to write off those we have a problem with, however – that is not the way to create change, but give them the opportunity to accrete around even more hardline viewpoints/centres in the echo chamber that is the Internet.
On a positive note, we are lucky on this site to have a forum in which we can have these kinds of conversations and come to greater understandings of the human condition.
Thanks for the response. And again, not dumping on you at all. I agree with much of what you say. It was just a reminder that generalizations are sometimes necessary, so we can get the conversations started.
And…(I’m saying this as gently as possible)…there’s about a zero percent chance that you haven’t said or done something in your life that has had a negative racial impact. It’s woven into the fabric of our society. The key is being able to acknowledge that, bear witness to our own imperfections in this area, and learn from it.
I think you would enjoy, and get a whole lot out of, watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45ey4jgoxeU&t=7s
@Ader I’ll check out the video, for sure. I would like to point out, though, that given my background and upbringing, I’ve always been morbidly sensitive not to give offence, only ever to put people at ease; my grandmother was a diplomat and passed on ways in which to address whosoever I should meet with the utmost of charm and awareness of their dignity. I wonder if perhaps you’re generalising a little too greatly? though it is not for me to pass judgment on the content of your character; we don’t know each other beyond our interaction thus far (though long may it continue: I love communicating [at a distance, currently: agoraphobia/c-PTSD has me housebound, and so my social interactions are limited at present to CB and a very few other sites where support, rather than malice/one-upmanship/trolling is the name of the game] with others, and having my worldview challenged. So – shall watch the video and get back to you, probably on another thread!
With all due respect, you don’t quite get it yet — evidenced by your response to me. It appears that you’re more worried about people seeing you as not racist than you are genuinely concerned about the actual issue and learning.
I highly encourage you to watch the video and engage in a little self-reflection.
I am not generalizing too greatly; I’m trying to point something out that’s just not quite clicking for you yet.
Good luck. Hope you do eventually “get it.” And with all due acknowledgment, just because your Grandmas was a diplomat who “taught” you about “charm and dignity,” doesn’t mean you haven’t swallowed and regurgitated implicit bias in your life. It’s basically impossible NOT to spew implicit bias, no matter who you are…that’s the point.
Moreover, if you’ve read even one modern book on the issue, you’d know that the “but I was taught to treat everyone equal” is one of the biggest canards out there…and it’s such a common excuse, that doctors of sociology have written books about this topic and the problematic nature of spewing similar…well…crap. Sorry, but it is. Saying stuff like that just keeps the unequal status quo in place.
Meghan is extremely popular here in the UK (though the average Brit doesn’t care about or pay any attention to royals). It’s only racists and Tumblr stans who hate her, and most of the people online who are super into royals are American.
@Margaritas For Breakfast: “It’s been a revealing moment for women. Pecking order and knowing one’s place are incredibly important to women apparently.”
This is so true! And it’s very frustrating!
Can this man shut up already?
How else would this dick (and yes, I mean both literal AND his name) stay relevant anymore unless he throws in his (unwanted) two pence in the hat?
Dickie the Dick wants attention and so pretends to be back in the fold. Someone needs to tell this has-been to stay in his lane. Meghan has brought a breath of fresh to the BRF and the powers that be had better come to realize this. Her enthusiasm and obvious work ethic should be encouraged and celebrated but the old guard only seem to see the uppity blank American woman who’s making them look bad, IMO.
Apparently not. Old Dick sure has a bug up his arse over Meghan. Saying she should listen to the very people who have probably thrown her under the bus repeatedly? I think not. What a dick….
I think it’s great that Meghan’ s presence may be finally getting people to realize how useless , horrible and out of touch the monarchy is…maybe soon we can be rid of the lot of them…
I agree. I’m really starting to question their purpose. Taxpayers are funding all of these royals and their staff to behave like a bunch of spoiled snobs. Am I really supposed to think these people are better than anyone else in the world?
Seriously! They’re becoming even more annoying than usual. William and Harry and their merry wives all need to just go away to their mansions/castles/apartments and think of their next vacation.
I’m an American but I believe after Prince Charles, there may not be a monarchy.
I’ve seen a number of royalist Meghan fans say this as well. The negative treatment she’s received and how she’s been unfairly singled out has made them rethink a lot of things about the monarchy and dimmed their enthusiasm for it.
Everything you said, Kaiser. She’s not trying to be clever. She IS clever. This is a chance for the royals and the Princess Michaels and Dickies of the world to see how perfectionist many minorities have to be to acheive half as much. She is compelled to work hard for a reason, and she is a foil to white mediocrity. It’s all so dumb and so freaking familiar to so many of us.
They are so gobsmacked that a black woman is educated, intelligent and outplaying them. How dare she? Shouldn’t she still be hidden in the kitchen? And now they have to bow for her? What’s next, a black royal baby? Gosh, how is a royalist suppose to live without the believe their are better than everybody else, especially people of any color that isn’t white?
Remember when Meghan was asked to give a reading at the Thomas van Straubenzee memorial? The reading was “Our Deepest Fear” and it was around the time the media onslaught was just ramping up after the Oceania tour. The poem talks about not choosing to shrink and dimming your light so that others don’t feel insecure around you. It’s very fitting because that’s what some of these racist white royalists, RRs, royals want Meghan to do.They feel threatened by her and want her to dim her light because she’s making some of the royals look inferior despite her class/race/background. And that goes against their whole construct of the monarchy and royalty (ie a bunch of privileged, unblemished people who are somehow better than the rest of us by virtue of birth).
This is exactly it. It’s also behind this sudden about-face to paint Kate as the most perfect and beloved woman who has ever lived. White fragility is real & it is a hell of a drug.
Did anyone hear what Piers Morgan was saying this morning on Meghan? This guy doesn’t stop – ever!
No… what drivel/racists crap is IT spewing now?
Piers Morgan is a classic narcissist with the most unsavoury of histories and no integrity, journalistic or otherwise (how soon, sadly, are his sins forgot, simply because he is held up as a benchmark for the controversial). He’s an embittered and twisted little man who cannot bear the fact that Meghan didn’t make him one of her besties immediately, rather than meeting him for a drink and – probably based not only on his history but having to be in close proximity to the toad; heaven knows how uncomfortable she may have felt, or how unctuous he may have been – chose not to continue the acquaintance. His wounded self therefore chose to take said “rejection” as a crippling insult and neatly coincided with Father-From-Hell TM’s equally narcissistic outpourings. Mutual ego stroking and ongoing outrage ensued.
Thank God Morgan isn’t a representative of Britain, British values or – well – anything to do with the decent people amongst us.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 — This right here!
Bless is heart, his parents named him well. I can’t read it without my brain saying arbitrary dick.
@Cherie👌👏👏👏👏👏 Y’all came and took no prisoners today. ‘arbitrary dick’ clearly cannot stand ‘Duchessing while Black’.
How this institution could feel this threatened by a poised, intelligent, thoughtful woman who came in good faith to serve their history is just befuddling. This will backfire on them because the non-White Commonwealth and Minority Britain may start to pay attention. Charles and Camilla are in the Caribbean glad handing and making nice while they are tearing apart the first real minority entrant into the BRF. The BRF serves the Commonwealth and minority Britain too, you know. So they can’t carry-on like this.
My friends friend is a black brit. This is the first time I’ve ever heard her talk about racism in the UK, including what Meghan is dealing with.
Commonwealth nations of color could yank their chain and pull out. The raw materials of wealth is in these countries. They see what’s happening and if they target the baby it will require BRF to take a stand. If not, there will not be 53 nations and Charles will not be president of the commonwealth long.
“…this vivacious American woman is going to expose the whole royal system for what it is: small, petty, racist, cruel and out of touch.”
She’s been doing this for the past two years.
While we all know of the “Never complain, never explain” rule, it just still makes me insane that all it would take is one statement, put out by TQ, to put the bullies in their place. Something to the effect of (and I’m using “Queen-speak”: “We do not wish for our press to bully our granddaughter. Meghan is a member of this family, under our protection and in our full esteem.” Or something to this effect. While it may not *stop* the press (and def. won’t stop the haters), but it WILL put them on notice that they either start playing “nice” or they won’t be RRs anymore.
I swear, every single day I see at least 3-4 things that prove to me how batsh-t racist a lot of my fellow white people are. I cannot believe we’re still doing this in the 21st century.
@GR – oh, how I do agree! I get so frustrated with the stoopidness, pettiness, small-minded-ness and overall hatred for POC by some of our fellow white people. I am ashamed. We are fighting rich white men on so many different levels, why perpetuate ANY of it for the sake of tradition (?). Yesterday a woman tried to hold our Prime Minster to account regarding MERCURY in the drinking water on the reservation (not their ‘traditional’ territory, but where they were placed when removed from their traditional territory) FFS white men with privilege are destroying our whole world for money, profit and holding themselves above us all. They are not fulfilling PROMISES made during their election run….clean water rights for our First Nations and proper care for our Veterans. This is what he ran on…sunny ways….oh, yes, I am ashamed daily
I’ve been shocked at the level of vitriol some? many? white women spew toward Meghan as if she has murdered someone. These vitriolic ladies fully expect others around to agree that Meghan is a horrible monster whore who voodooed Harry into marrying her. I’m still in shock. What happened to sisterhood and being supportive of a fellow American? Or at least not ripping them to shreds?
That’s why, sadly, black women know that (as a group, NOT as individuals), white women cannot be trusted. See 2016 election. They will side with white men when push comes to shove. Every. Time. It makes me sad to say that because I have had white women who are dear, firm friends who I trust completely and who I believe support me. But white women (collectively) will always pull rank over WOC. See the vitriol over Meghan “taking” one of “theirs” Do white women who date black men get this kind of vitriol? Sure, individually, but I can’t think of a collective response as stark in comparison as this.
What lanne said. All of it. I have really close girlfriends who are white. But collectively? I do not trust white women. For the very reasons mentioned above. There seems to be a general hatred of black women among white women. The appropriation of our culture, hairstyles, lingo, etc while absolutely despising us at the same time.
what lane and Valiantly Varnished said. This is why I don’t call myself a feminist. IMO it’s a group of white women looking out for white women interest. I have white female friends who I consider family and vice versa but as a whole, nah.
Add me to the list for all the reasons above.
You know that sisterhood is only for white women. I’m including a number of even supposedly progressive white feminists with platforms, who would no doubt speak out on behalf of their American princess if she were white.
Can I come sit with you? I am a white woman who doesn’t trust other white women. They certainly don’t have my best interests at heart so I know they don’t have yours on their radar!
Holy moly everyone on this site is out of their minds. Get a grip.
What can I say that hasn’t already been said? Nothing, really. Megan is damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t. She was expected to work and she works, she works her butt off! If she quietly spent her days shopping, spa-ing or vacationing, she’d be criticized for that as well. I wish the best for Megan, Harry and their children.
She can’t do right.
I know a lot of people made fun of Chelsy and Cressida, but they are looking very smart for rejecting the royal life. I see why Harry was having trouble finding a partner. What woman would want to tolerate this level of viciousness and hate?
I pray for Harry abd Meghan and I wish them much love and protection.
Chelsy and Cressida wouldn’t have to deal with this level of vitriol because they’re white Brits.
The last time we discussed Dickie, I said he was a professional asshole. I stand by that statement.
Well, I guess he’s chosen this strategy for a reason, seeing as how we’ve been talking about him at all. He saw how some of the hateful ones are cashing in on bashing Meghan and decided he needed to pay the bills.
Kaiser, I agree with everything in your post. My question, sincerely, is: aside from an Australian media outlet interview, picked up by The Sun (and probably by the DF, and similar ilk) is Arbiter really someone the British RF or public even listen to at this point?
I need someone to tell me what Meghan is doing to be the “center of attention” that people like Dickie claim Meghan is doing? The only time we see Meghan in the UK is when she’s doing her job.
He needs to talk to the press that won’t stop talking about her.
The press are the ones who report on Meghan several times a day. They are the ones obsessed with her. What they want is to bully Meghan into submission. They hope that she starts kissing up to them to receive good press. They want to control Meghan, and it burns them up that this biracial American won’t submit to their will.
If the horrible Markles did not get Meghan to pay them off to make them disappear, she can survive these vicious media attacks.
With Harry and Doria’s support Meghan will be fine.
What, exactly, do they want her to do? Change her skin colour? What would kissing up to them look like?
I want to know too.
To your second point, exactly. His peers are obsessed with Meghan and not in a good way.
I mean, the woman wears only navy, cream, and blergh colors when she’s with the Queen and the rest of the royals. I want her to show up at Trooping in neon orange and cause some real fainting spells.
Good points in the article. I might add that I don’t see Meghan in that light at all. That she outshines everyone is not by her design – she’s doing it without trying too because she is smarter and more capable than the lot of them in particular the lamebridges. I see in Meghan, someone who is simply trying to do her work and it’s blowing these racist assclownes minds – particularly crusty old white men. That includes you Piers Morgan you pos.
God forbid a woman should be clever. I mean how nervy to be intelligent.
Likely she’s a ‘nasty woman’ too (heh, heh, heh)….
Without a doubt.
Meg is clever. No doubt about it. But that’s not the only dynamic at play here.
Even if Meg did nothing, said nothing, and patiently waited for instructions…he’d still be talking like this. Because implicit bias is REAL, yo!
Practically speaking, that means we all see life through filtered lenses. We’re so used to them we don’t realize their presence. And for White folks (and, at times, many black folks who internalize hate…we’ve all been there), part of that lens filter is that Black women are “pushy,” “uppity,” “angry,” etc. And if we’re not complete idiots, “arrogant.” If we have any semblance of agency, “insubordinate.” It’s the starting point, and there’s an infuriating double standard. People have to actively work to undo this about their social conditioning. If your immediate reaction is “not me!” and defensiveness…then you’re probably not as “clean” on the issue as you think you are. That’s the most maddening part: People refusing to consider that they may be part of the problem.
Anyway, yeah…Meg is not going to be able to win, no matter what, with these old heads. It’s a lost cause.
True. This is at play everywhere even on these boards. You have a poster defending a racist reporter bc they have good gossip and know where the bodies are buried. When as a WOC I respond, I have an ulterior motive, calculating, manipulation. It just can be offensive to see somebody defend a bloody racist?
White people don’t understand that POC can’t look the other way when it doesn’t suit their agenda. So forgive me if my social conditioning doesn’t allow me to always believe the best in people, bc as of yesterday on these boards underlining social bias against standing up against and excuse racists is alive and well.
@Reese Could you possibly point out which posters were defending Core’s racism/taking issue with claims that he has demonstrated racist behaviour? Few would deny that Coren is an arsehole – the point was more that he was a source of the gossip upon which the article was predicated and, as a member of the journalist tribe of scandal-outers, is better placed to be privy to said gossip. And who on earth would take issue with you as a WOC for pointing out his unsavoury biases??
This started days ago and it was about a James Whitaker who was a misogynist, classist and racist pile of rubbish. The commentor defended her choice to quote him bc it was a quote which was tearing down Kate.
I’ll slag Kate but I won’t support quoting an asshat to do it. When I pointed it out again in the past post about Me-Gain, we went tit for tat and she still refuses to back down even acknowledging he was a known asshat, by claiming “whatever else he was”. You either stand against discrimination or you don’t. As I said, as a WOC I don’t get to look away bc I can’t stand Kate and think it’s ok to quote a twat. I have no love for Kate, but still can’t stand by and let somebody quote a bloody known racist asshat. BC that poster is exactly part of the problem and just can’t see beyond her own bias.
@Reece I do see your point: if people such as the one quoted do possess undeniable and implicit bias, we must question whether there is any truth-value to their claims, and the fact that the poster took issue with your rightful umbrage.. Well, it says a lot about them; which you have articulated eloquently in your posts.
My only query is – if a racist asshat is in possession of a direct quote and quotes said information without adding their own opinions to it, is the quote itself therefore negated?
I see the point you are making with your query and it is a good one. My problem doesn’t stand with the quote, it stands with the reason why the person feels it’s ok to quote something by somebody who’s history of work was filled with racial bias in the first place. Why is ok to quote a racist when the means justify your point of view? How do you then turn around in another post and say that MM is facing racism in the media? The hypocrisy is staggering.
Is is ok for me to quote a white supremacist? If I were to quote one of their hateful messages? I’m using their words to prove my point of view about people I don’t like. I don’t see the difference. It’s not ok. Using certain people to make your point when you know they have a jaded past is never right. As I said, as I WOC It’s insulting when people defend racial bias based on whom they like, and look away when it’s somebody they don’t like. That is not a privilege not afforded to me. Every time somebody defends a racist asshat it keeps discrimination alive in my eyes.
@Reese I agree. I think we stand at the crossroads of history, during this latest industrial revolution we’re in the midst of: the opening of the world through the Internet and associated media has revealed more – unconsciously – about the biases held by the human race than all the philosophical musings of the past.
I understand and share your viewpoints, having suffered systemic racism myself: I’m Jewish, and there is deeply engrained within both past and present implicit tropes that are repeated, taken as gospel, sometimes directly aimed at me or nonchalantly offered as ‘truth’. I’d no more quote a white supremacist to prove a positive point than you; to do so would feel like a profound disloyalty not only to my own background, but to all POCs and minorities who have to navigate through a system invisibly charged with inherited bigotry. I fear that – perhaps as a consequence of postmodernism (a debate in itself) – that even in tearing hierarchies down, many still cherry-pick quotes, phrases etc (and believe them without substantiation) to create their own version of the truth. And truth has become a vanishing point, a horizon that has receded further and further the more that the world has become interconnected.
Personally, I find it intellectually dishonest to engage in the behaviour of the poster you cite; contorting themselves into knots to create a narrative, and then explicitly contradicting that narrative in claiming support for someone damaged by the likes of the Whitakers of the world. I think it behoves us all to extremely careful – and thoughtful – of what we say/mean and have the courage and integrity to confront our inner selves. So – yesterday I did indeed state that Coren, being aristo/celeb adjacent, would probably be more au fait with the doings of the “great” and the “good” than the majority. But this is in no way a support of his character, which indeed is the epitome of asshat-ism, only to attempt to arrive at a conclusion via logical speculation – and I hope that that is not intellectually dishonest of ME. If you think that it is, please say so: I’m always ready, willing and able to confront my own behaviours. Doing the right thing and being the best version of oneself is something one has to work at tirelessly.
A very interesting conversation, this – where and how truth starts and ends, and how language is manipulated.
Very well said jadedbrit, a very interesting conversation indeed.
It behoves us all to be ready, willing and able to confront our own behaviours.
THIS. They set one bar,she keeps reaching it and exceeding it each time, and it just gets higher. She has never even been photographed with RBF like the other royals or normal human beings, has only ever looked engaged and smiling at engagements, not caring if her clothes get dirty… Yet she’s somehow being smeared as an angry, bullying diva. But then you hear criticisms of her always being “on” and smiling too. She can never win.
It’s clever the way she pretends to be a humanitarian while flying on private jets, spending a half million dollars on clothes, and convincing the black community she actually gives a damn.
What? You need to go read some books and talk to some decent people.
Back to the Daily Fail with you. Shoo! This ain’t your playground.
How dare a black woman try to be clever. What’s funny about him calling Meghan a “supporting character”. Dickie isn’t even a supprting character. He’s no one to the royal family at this point. It’s been 19 years since he held a position with them. He’s a non-factor in all aspects.
He’s a vulture. Just a more polite one than the others. He still presumes to know what the Queen cares or thinks about. I think it’s safe to say that the Queen isn’t thrilled with any former staff member making a living off of commenting about the royal family, even when he used to do it more nicely.
I honestly think that a lot of these royal reporters are threatened by Meghan and they thought that they could get away with mistreating her . And that people wouldn’t called them out for their disgusting racist behavior toward her to me the Meghan hate got worse when she and Harry announced the pregnancy that the moment when it got worse for her . For her whole pregnancy there not a day that goes by that she is not villianly by the British press and people online she never had a honeymoon period with the British media it’s like they made their mission to continue relentlessly bully her . It’s not Meghan fault that she gets so much attention it’s the media
I don’t think it’s racism as much as it’s flagrant misogyny. Meghan is supposed to be this demure wilting flower who barely speaks, walks with head bowed behind Harry and doesn’t make direct eye contact. Kate Middleton is precisely this. It was years before I even really knew what her voice sounded like. Meghan is threatening because she’s a strong, independent woman. That’s what makes people so triggered.
Actually it’s a huge chunk of both. Signed a black woman who has experienced both. And this is what it sounds like. All the time. We get the one two punch of thinly and not so thinly veiled racism mixed with a healthy dose of misogyny. Because black women are often seen as even LESS capable and LESS intelligent than white women. And we are not given the same leeway as white women. People protect and make excuses for Kate. They do the opposite for Meghan.
And just a general reminder: When we say things like “I don’t think it’s racism” or “I don’t think it’s homophobia / Islamaphobia / abelism / et cetera” all we’re doing is allowing bigotry to flourish. It’s the equivalent of brushing it under the carpet. And who does that serve? Not discussing things is a huge part of the problem! Silence is violence.
And just because “you” (universal you) don’t “think” something is racist, it doesn’t mean you’re right. If you’re a white person telling black people what is and isn’t racism…step back for a second and think about the arrogance of that. (Again, just speaking generally here.)
You’ve pinpointed something I haven’t focused on. The consensus certainly is/has been that the concerted smear campaign began after the hugely successful South Pacific tour. That tour coincided with the pregnancy announcement. How triggered do we think the racist RRs (and others …) are that the arrival of a mixed race baby in the royal family is imminent? That’s more inflaming than H/M’s success as working royals, or Meghan’s personal accomplishments before and since becoming a Duchess — even more than the fact that she’s (a) a woman 🙄 and (b) a woman of color. How dare she?
I know that’s simplistic and that there are a myriad of “triggers” for these delicate flowers, but I dread the vitriol they’ll spew when this sweet baby is born. The racism and misogyny is so deep and broad, we’ll never get a handle on it.
You raise a good point. The baby has definitely triggered something in people too. You can tell because normally the press and royal commentators, fashion blogs give pregnant women a break and absolutely celebrate her womanhood, yet Meghan’s coverage has only gotten worse. Racism is something so deeply ingrained in people, even liberal people, and there is some implicit bias here at work. SOMETHING bother them about all this but they can’t quite put their finger on it. I think we’ll see a real turning point when Baby Sussex arrives. All hell could break loose, and I don’t know if it’s going to be for better or worse.
I think it’s also the fact that she got pregnant so quickly. All the RRs were ready with their gleeful “too old to conceive” stories and she went and destroyed a whole year’s worth of stories for them.
OMG he’s so pressed because Meghan has charisma and star quality. Stay pressed!
Meghan is a capable woman who will not suck up to the British media. They are still mad about the People story. The media believe if a senior royal runs to them they have control of that royal. They brought future queen Kate to heel. The wife of the sixth in line to the throne must comply and she won’t.
The media is always bitching about Kate not even acknowledging their presence and KP going around them to release information. She didn’t start working more when they were running stories about her being lazy either. There was literally a documentary about how Will, Kate, and Harry are going to bring down the Monarchy because of the way they treat the press. I’m not sure why you think they brought Kate to heel.
Kate’s numbers remain pretty low. People think she’s doing more, but it’s barely more. But she’s benefiting from all the scrutiny on Meghan and her simple existence as a white woman gives her a ton of breaks Meghan will never get.
I’m going to wait Meghan’s panorama interview then.
Unless, Panorama turned out to be a US TV, it’s not going to happen.
or Canada. After the interview (me dreaming) I hope her and Harry say bye b******
Ah, the Arbiter of 1950s decorum: when women were decorative and diffident, cleaving to their menfolk and ever-respectful of their opinions, no matter how fatuous they may be; who was reared on British Empire textbooks depicting happy people of colour diligently tending the crops that made mercantilism so profitable, always careful to maintain a discreet Them vs Us in determining who was deemed worthy. One could almost feel sorry for someone whose head is so firmly buried in the backside of history, were he not displaying such overtly racist, classist and misogynist characteristics and – such terribly bad form, Dickie – making such sentiments public. One doesn’t speak out in such a matter, let alone be so appallingly graceless, indiscreet and indiscriminately bitchy, dontchaknow… Bad move, Dickster. Copybook blotted. A one way ticket to Coventry awaits.
What is Coventry?
Being ‘sent to Coventry’ is an archaic and outmoded way of cutting people out/off, ignoring them utterly and pretending that they do not exist. I imagine he experienced such spartan treatment at whatever boarding school he attended for living up to his name.
And in a Freudian full circle Arbiter has already been banished from the Inner Circle himself, and reduced to making up sensationalist claims in order to stay relevant.
A town or county in England?
Basically shunning, the silent treatment. The monarchy did that to the queen’s nanny Crawfie when she wrote a beautiful book about Elizabeth and Margaret as children. The coventry tactics don’t work so well for them now I expect because the press can just make stuff up and get away with it.
Meghan is independent, able to use her own voice and goal-oriented in what she wants to accomplish personally in her humanitarian work. It seems inevitable that her personal ambitions will at some point clash with what is expected of her as a working royal in support of the monarch. I don’t see the monarchy modernizing to fit her expectations, just as I don’t see her bowing down to theirs if she disagrees. I don’t think it will end well.
*And my comment is not in support of Dickie, who is old and old-school.
Old and and old-school, does not excuse racism.
Peg: My post was not about Dickie or what he said, but about the restraints of the royal system. I said my comments weren’t in support of him. He IS old and old-school. Don’t know how you jumped to that being me excusing racism.
MaryContrary: didn’t say that Meghan has done anything wrong or inappropriate. My point was that I think it is going to be difficult for her to live a happy life in a royal system that “is small, petty, racist, cruel and out of touch.” As a working royal, she’s bound to an archaic institution and its rules. They will try to hold her back or reign her in if she crosses a line they don’t like, even if it’s a ridiculous, outdated line. Seems like an incredibly frustrating life for a forward-thinking, driven woman accustomed to being independent and voicing her opinions.
Oh please. What, exactly, has she done that doesn’t support the monarchy? She went to Morocco at a late stage in her pregnancy in support of the Queen. She goes to every occasion she’s meant to attend looking engaged and appropriate.
That Dickie. Such a wanker, isn’t he?
He needs to zip it. Toss-pot that he is.
I don’t speak British but I think these comments are accurate, not that I’m trying to be an arbiter of anything.
Humor vs. humour, what can one say? Tomato, tomah-toe, as it were.
Too long; didn’t read?
SHUT UP, DICKIE!
I was just going to comment: Shut up, Dickie!! But ya beat me to it! 🙂
The misogynoir just jumps out of Dickie.
Thank you! Misogynoir is a new word I’ve learned today — I’m sorry I wasn’t aware. Now, I am.
With a little luck, it will jump back in!
‘But the real concern is that this vivacious American woman is going to expose the whole royal system for what it is: small, petty, racist, cruel and out of touch.’
Hit the nail on the head right there
A grown man who goes by the name of ‘Dickie’ has the nerve to tell anybody ANYTHING about being ‘clever’? Piss off, DICKIE!!
I absolutelly LOVE me some Meghan. This woman hit the ground running and running fast, very unlike Waity Kate.
Maybe he should follow his own advice, and respect the pecking order, he was an employee for the Queen, and Meghan is a Duchess, so he should watch his words.
He’s not part of British Royal Family. What pecking order applies to him?
Crimson carpet! I want to walk on a crimson carpet! Haven’t actually heard that word in a while, but now suddenly I want everything “crimson.”
Horrid old fart. He can’t rein Meghan in though, hehe. Must feel so annoying.
This Dickie…oh lord, just saw his pic he looks like all kinds of hell…
So Dickie is really just a dick.
Meghan has made exactly one appearance in the last two weeks but Royal Reporters are claiming she is attention seeking?
They talk about her 24/7 and wonder why everyone’s got “Meghan on the brain”?
The honest truth is, people expected Harry to marry some silly blonde who would be sloppy and an easy punching bag to compliment Harry who’s been a punching bag. They never expect him to marry a woman who is smart and knows who she is. Meghan hasn’t dropped to her knees and begged them for mercy despite the many months of attempting to break her and her spirit.
They really hate the fact that they can’t get her. When they trash her, people attack them for it and Meghan doesn’t budge and give into them. They use her father and half-siblings against her and she still doesn’t bite.
It’s uncomfortable to watch these Royal Reporters and people who think they are gate keeps for the monarch try to beat Meghan into submission. She’s a very strong woman and I hope she find comfort in knowing many of us see what they’re doing and we are with her.
I’m disgusted at the media and royal watcher’s racist rants towards Meghan. Let her do her job and leave in peace.
“Don’t try and be clever. Don’t try and do things yourself.” — ugh, my pet peeve. It’s “Try TO” not “try and.” He did it twice in row! If this guy wants to be “clever” maybe he should learn to use proper English first.
THANK YOU, Mrs Krabapple! Give him detention and make him write on the chalkboard!
Not saying that she deserve any of this, but i don’t feel bad for her at all. The moment she married into that family she became a willing participant in the white supremacy and class system. She is there token for PR and they use her well. Just show up to take the picture when they ask you to and move on.
I’m sure the Duchess, don’t want anyone to feel sorry for her.
She is doing more than showing up and getting her picture taken, that’s why you’re so pressed.
I disagree with this take. If I’m a black police officer, correction officer, or judge- do I deserve racial abuse because I work in a system that oppress and exploits blacks?
Serena William is one of few minorities in the tennis world and faces a lot of racism. Should she accept it because she entered that white space?
Meghan does her job but she shouldn’t have to accept this kind of abuse. Literally no one Royal woman- dead or alive- has dealt with this kind of abuse.
@mkay, you basically said she deserves this treatment since she willingly married into the family. But don’t most people willingly marry into their families? And I’m quite sure that no one told her how devious and racist the press and the courtiers would be AND that the family would do nothing to protect her. I think that is what is most galling to her is that the family didn’t speak out on her behalf.
That Meghan is more highly educated than William, Kate, Charles, the Queen, Harry, the whole lot of them, must hurt.
You must play dumb and never appear to be smart so as to show up the other members of the family. What are we, back in the 1700s? You would think she kicks puppies or something to get the level of vitriol that’s directed at her.
Yes RoyalBlue. She is more formally educated than ALL OF THEM, & so is her mother.
Don’t all of them have Bachelors Degrees? Meghan, Kate, Will, and Harry?
Harry does not. And she’s the only one who’s actually done anything on her own. None of the others have ever had to hustle for a job or fight for a career. Silver platters for Harry, Will and Kate
The unwarranted hatred is pathetic, sad and transparent. 2019 and globally people still operate openly with bias toward women and minorities…a combo, woman of color enlarged the target.
She fell in love with Harry oh well I hope they have a happy ever after as a huge eff you to haters!
Something that bugs me so much is that Meghan does the same things that every other royal woman does: she wears couture, she buys expensive clothes, she hangs out with her wealthy friends, she flies private planes, they ALL do, but the media just reports on everything she does, who she hangs out with, how much everything she wears costs. SHE is not “rubbing her spending in the public’s face,” the media is. SHE is not running to the press to tell them she’s going to ride a private plane and hang out with her celebrity friends, the media is literally following her around, taking her picture, and publishing every detail. SHE is not “rubbing her American ways in our face” by telling the press to write articles about her baby shower, the media is finding this stuff out and making a big deal out of it. SHE is not trying to be a superstar celebrity and stay in the press, the media is just publishing multiple stories about her every single day. They are publishing stories about her doing the same exact things that other royal women do and then pretending like ishes the only one who does those things. They are writing 400 stories a week about her and then getting mad at her for being in the press so often. They are treating her like some super strange anomaly and then getting mad about the fact that people are interested in her.
Commenters do this too. They’re continually on here claiming that she needs to be more mindful of her clothing budget, or accepting rides on private planes, or going to expensive and lavish events because she seems super tone deaf and Marie Antoinette-like to the people who are struggling with the uncertainty of Brexit, but they don’t seem to understand that the press writing an article about how much they think Meghan’s friends spent on her private baby shower is not the same thing as Meghan releasing a press statement with the price of her babysbower. She isn’t doing anything different than Kate or Camillla, she’s just being reported on more often.
Piers Morgan turns my stomach. He keeps saying Meghan dropped him. If Prince Harry told her not to deal or talk to him again and gave her his reasons-what does Piers think Meghan is going to do . He knows the royal family does not like tabloid reporters especially Harry. Don’t blame Meghan- he is scared to say the royal family (Harry) banned Meghan from talking or being friends with him or any other tabloid reporters.
“But the real concern is that this vivacious American woman is going to expose the whole royal system for what it is: small, petty, racist, cruel and out of touch.“ Touché Kaiser! BTW Dickie Arbiter sounds like a gasbag douche.