W. Kamau Bell: When I got a vasectomy nobody protested about it


As Kaiser and CB have touched on both on the latest podcast and in their posts, women’s reproductive rights are under attack. Many women have joined the fight to protect them, some more effectively than others. It’s very important to keep the conversation active and in the headlines. What’s also important is for men join the discussion in a way that extends past their retweet button. Fortunately, some are starting to do just that. Seth Meyers gave a very clear explanation of how these bans are all designed to get to the Supreme Court where they *will* overturn Roe V. Wade (3:17 mark). The latest man speaking up for women’s reproductive rights is Comedian W. Kamau Bell. Bell is one of the best sociopolitical comedians out there and hosts the docuseries United Shades of America.He’s just gone public with the story of his vasectomy and contrasted his no-hassle experience with what is not being afforded to women.

When my wife first suggested that I get a vasectomy, I thought she was joking. (We’re all comedians in my family; I’m just the only professional one.)

But then I saw the look on her face — and it was a look that read, “I am absolutely NOT joking.”

“Fifteen years,” Melissa told me. “For fifteen years, I’ve been taking the pill.” That means my wife had been altering her body chemistry for my pleasure and carrying the responsibility of our family planning, while I just got to be footloose and condom-free.

So, I went ahead with it. I scheduled the surgery. I chose to do it now because at the same time I was considering it, I was also working on a very special episode of “United Shades of America” in Jackson, Mississippi.

I spent a week in Jackson learning about the fight for reproductive justice. It is an episode filled with mostly black women who, although they are well aware of the redness of their state’s politics, are unfettered in their struggle to make their state recognize each woman’s human, civil, and reproductive rights. It may sound intense, but it was also incredibly inspiring, and inspiringly filled with laughter.

If those badass women can stand up in the face of all that, then I can lie down for a ten minute surgery. And in an effort to get more men to talk about their private parts in healthy and helpful ways, we filmed the whole surgery — you can watch it right at the top of this page.

[From CNN via Seriously OMG]

Bell goes into detail about his decision-making process and the factors he weighed. It’s worth it to read his full essay. Ultimately, though, he recognized how selfish he’d been making his wife bear the sole responsibility on preventing future pregnancies. And that part is very important, because it’s true, most men expect women to handle all of the family planning with no regard to the toll it takes on us.

But what I really appreciate is what he said in his tweet above – that his whole experience was safe, easy and fully covered by insurance. Everyone says if a man could get pregnant, there would be reproductive clinics on every corner. But cis men don’t get pregnant, and far too many men are still using women’s bodies as a way to keep them down. That’s why it is so important for men like Bell to speak up like in this way. I hope many other influential men follow their example.

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Photo credit: Twitter and WENN Photos

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78 Responses to “W. Kamau Bell: When I got a vasectomy nobody protested about it”

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  1. stormsmama says:

    Yes to this! So succinct and easy to understand…Why do so many people think they have a right to women’s bodies?!! it makes me so angry…
    I will be retweeting his brilliant message

  2. Jujumanji says:

    I love that he did this. We definitely need more men to join in on the fight.

    • Bindu Chandrabose says:

      I remember in the late 70′s I had a bumper sticker that said “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” Can you imagine if Trump, McConnell et al were the ones at risk for the consequences of illegal abortions? There would be federally funded no-questions-asked clinics on every corner.

      I was so hopeful in the following years that this was an issue that would be settled in favor of womens’ rights/health, so disappointing to be 56 and see the horrible backwards slide since Roe was decided.

      Thank goodness for men like Bell who realize that this is an issue that effects all of us, regardless of gender.

  3. Franke says:

    This is one of the most important stories you’ll ever cover here. Every word he speaks is full on truth. Particular that black women in red states carry the heaviest burden and fight the hardest battles for us.

    Make no mistake. This is a war on women’s autonomy.

    • AryasMum says:

      On the news I saw the best protesting sign: “If my uterus shot bullets you wouldn’t regulate it.”

  4. elimaeby says:

    I’ve never heard of him before, but I’ll definitely be supporting him now. Well said, sir!

    • Badrockandroll says:

      His CNN show is very thought-provoking. The Mississippi episode last Sunday was particularly timely. The one the week before was on Hmong refugees in the USA, a community I didn’t really know that much about, and it was great too.

    • otaku fairy... says:

      This. It’s good to see so many standing up for reproductive rights, because this is all so infuriating, scary, and sad.

  5. Aims says:

    My husband got snipped because it made sense to us. It’s so much easier and since childbirth is no where in comparison, he could do that for our family. I’d love to see a bunch of people protest outside a urologist off to make a point.

    • Coco says:

      My husband is having a vasectomy once our youngest turns one. I’ve been shouldering the burden of reproductive health and prevention my entire adult life so now it’s his turn. He didn’t bat an eyelash and is gladly stepping up to do his part so it’s not on me anymore. Which is a relief. I know a lot of women who’s partners pushed back when a vasectomy is the easiest solution possible to prevent pregnancy. Bell is right, birth control alters our body chemistry. After taking out my Mirena before getting pregnant with our first I told my husband I’m never going on birth control again and it was his turn. I was so done I cried with relief.

      • wowza says:

        When I got my Skyla removed, I really felt the hormone shift.

        I have sung the praises of an IUD to many, and I’m so glad I had it for the first five years of my sexual activity, but once I clocked the effect of the hormones, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore.

        I’ve gotten confused, muted responses from people when I talk about this, because it seems too close to a conservative talking point, that it might discourage friends from pursuing one of the best forms of birth control. But I don’t oppose IUDs at all !!! I want to make that clear, I just realized it wasn’t right for me. And it makes me sad that women are expected to experiment with their body chemistries while men could easily get a vasectomy and don’t.

        (Current boyfriend thought I was joking when I suggested he get a vasectomy, even though he frequently talks about how he doesn’t want children. We are very careful with condom use, but I have been honest with him that at my age, 30, if I got pregnant, I would probably keep it, because I very much want children. Which really freaks him out. Even though he could take control and get a freakin vasectomy! He’s a great guy, but he is so immature on this topic, it sucks.)

  6. OriginalLala says:

    It’s a full on war on female bodies. This kind of crap is gaining steam in Canada too, an elected official recently said he was going to “Make abortion unthinkable in our lifetime” – it’s an assault on our rights. Buckle up ladies, we are gonna have to fight like hell.

    • Who ARE These People? says:

      The politeness gloves are off!

      Given Doug Ford’s election in Ontario and the shifting ever-rightward of the Conservative Party nationwide, a lot of complacent people are going to be shocked out of their boots. Are people paying attention? Will Canadians respond in time and in sufficient numbers? It can happen here!

      • Scotchy says:

        Not enough Canadians are paying attention. We need to start talking about it and dig our heads out of the sands.
        It makes me happy to see Canadian folks here be so aware and awesome all we can do is start talking about it and pay attention to what MP’s stand for what especially during this upcoming election. We need to be informed and ready to protest and use our vote wisely.

      • JBC says:

        I agree! We are not paying enough attention and we have to start. Ford’s election was bad enough. We HAVE to be careful who we vote for at the MP (and MPP/MLA) level. Scheer scares me, and I’m in a Conservative riding. I will be doing my due diligence when the time comes and researching the heck outta the candidates. But I don’t see much chance for a Liberal re-election. I’ll see you ladies at the voting booth. And at the rallies.

    • North of Boston says:

      Oh, did he mean “make abortion unthinkable” by doing everything in his power to prevent unwanted pregnancies – advocating for easy access to reproductive education, care and birth control? I’m betting NO, because why go to the trouble of trying to prevent unwanted pregnancies through public policies when you can just force womenfolk to carry pregnancies to term even when they don’t want to or it is unsafe for them to do so.

  7. Jensies says:

    Feminist as f***,

  8. Miss M says:

    The post is so important. Thanks for covering this story, Hecate!
    Kamau is a jam and I love his show: United Shades of America.

  9. Brittany says:

    Is everyone for real here? How about comparing a vasectomy with what a female equivalent would be which is having your tubes tied or some form of sterilization. No one would give women a hard time about that!! A vasectomy is not the same as ripping apart a fetus and stopping a heartbeat. Am I being punked??

    • Billbop says:

      Brittany, I completely agree, you can’t compare a vasectomy to an abortion. Apples to oranges. Compare it to a tubal ligation, that is equivalent. And no one is trying to take that right away from women.

      If you think of it scientifically, the fetus is 100% human. So the argument is one of civil rights, not reproductive rights. If you can’t communicate and are dependent on another human to survive, do you have a right to live? This is really something everyone should ponder rather than just jumping on the bandwagon.

      • Megan says:

        @Billbop – My point is as scientifically accurate and logical as yours:

        If you think about scientifically, cancerous tumors are 100% human. So the argument is one of civil rights, not reproductive rights. If you can’t communicate and are dependent on another human to survive, do you have a right to live? This is really something everyone should ponder rather than just jumping on the bandwagon.

      • otaku fairy... says:

        @Billbop: Women who are pro-choice are not ‘just jumping on the bandwagon.’ That kind of statement is infantilizing and misogynistic in and of itself- doubly so if you’re a man, and the height of hypocrisy from any ‘traditionalist’ or religious person of either sex. For many of us, being pro-choice is often about protecting and valuing the human lives and well-being of women and girls who are already alive.

    • Original Jenns says:

      Are you serious??? Do you know the counseling and rejection a woman gets prior to her sterilization? Everyone and their mother will try to talk a woman out of it before they even consider letting her go forward. Please stop talking about things you clearly know nothing about. That includes your description of abortion. I can assure you that did not happen during mine.

      And Billbop, this embryo and fetus cannot live without my body. Wouldn’t I also be correct in terming it a virus? Please stop using “science” to control a woman’s right to her own bodily functions.

      • Aven Sharp says:

        Do you want to take bets on how many years before tubal ligation becomes heavily regulated if not illegal? Don’t kid yourself, it’ll happen. Women can’t even take birth control pills without “oversight” (ie. a dr with a prescription pad and an insurance company that will pay for it).

      • AryasMum says:

        And in some cases, a bible-beating boss or pharmacist who refuses to cover or even fill the prescription.

      • historybuff says:

        Tubal ligation absolutely needs to be an option for women. So does over-the-counter birth control. I don’t know why the pro-life lobby isn’t making more of that; many of them are staunch believers in a woman’s right to choose and have judgment-free access to all sorts of birth control.

        A fetus is an unborn human being. An embryo is a proto-fetus. They both have individual (different from the mother’s) human DNA. They both fit the definition of a living being. Neither of them is a virus.

      • franke says:

        I would like to meet these pro-life people who are vehement supporters of accessible, affordable birth control for women, and who are vocal proponents of the morning after pill. And for making that pill absolutely accessible to all at a low cost.

        I would listen to them. I would applaud them. I just don’t know that they exist.

      • Juls says:

        @ History buff : If that embryo implants itself in my fallopian tube, which is where it will probably implant itself if my IUD fails, then it will not survive. And will kill me in the process if I don’t have it removed. So I would consider it a tumor, not a human. And have that sucker cut right out of me with no regrets. The government is starting to lean towards letting me just die if this happens. Rather than remove it like the tumor that it essentially is. So yeah, sometimes the comparison to a disease is fitting.

    • franke says:

      Did you read his comment or just react? He said the fight for “reproductive justice”, which includes but is not limited to abortion access. Many of these bills will have far reaching consequences beyond abortion access.

      He was talking about the ease of getting a vasectomy and how it was entirely covered by his insurance. That is not true for many forms of birth control for women. The whole comment started with how his wife wanted to go off of birth control pills, and how easy it was for him, once he decided, to take up his responsibility for family planning.

    • Emily says:

      I agree that a vasectomy shouldn’t be compared to an abortion, but it can be compared to birth control. There are laws in the US that allow employers to not cover birth control for women because of religious beliefs. Ive never heard of the same restrictions, hoops and protests about vasectomies. Men are permitted to have sex with woman and decide if they want children or not but those women men are having sex with are punished for it.

    • LadyGrainacorn says:

      My forty something mother had to have my dad sign a permission slip before she would be ALLOWED to get her tubes tied. Funny how in country where abortion rights are constantly under attack, those doing the attacking are also trying to strip a woman’s access to things that would reduce the number of abortions being performed. Want to stop abortion? Support science based sex education and easier access to birth control. Support things that ACTUALLY reduce the number of abortions and let go of the idea that women need to be punished for having sex. How is using these babies you supposedly care about to punish someone even pro life? It isn’t. It just isn’t.

      • AryasMum says:

        That’s because they’re not pro-life, they’re pro-pregnancy. They care nothing about the woman carrying the child, or even the child once it’s been born.

      • North of Boston says:

        Exactly! I’ve heard more than one story of women being “counseled” aka discouraged or refused or told the had to get a man’s permission before they could get their tubes tied. Anyone who thinks it’s always as easy and smooth as this man’s vasectomy story needs to get out more and talk to more women.

        It’s about control, it’s about shaming women for being sexually active for reasons other than procreation. Heck I remember Congressmen trying to slut-shame a woman because she testified that birth control pills should be covered by insurance just like other medication. And she was taking them because of endometriosis or some other medical condition that is treated by birth control pills.

        It’s just a bunch of judgey-ass, mostly white, mostly men who think they should be able to control what women who are not them do with their own bodies, and who want to substitute their judgement for hers AND her doctors’.

    • lucy2 says:

      “No one would give women a hard time about that!!”

      Countless women would disagree with you.

    • Jerusha says:

      Brittany, There have been amazing advances in medical science, so I suggest you contact your nearest abortion provider and sign up as a willing vessel. Then, instead of “being ripped apart” those unwanted fetuses could be transplanted into your uterus. They could do five or six at a time. You can get your anti-choice friends to sign up, too. Think of all the babies you’d save. Of course, you’d have to raise and provide for them until adulthood, but You can do it. I mean, you’re not just mouthing off, are you?

    • michkabibbles says:

      you obviously have never had your tubes tied or known someone who has. a 32 year old married friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied and had to go to five different area hospitals before she found a doctor and place that would do it. she had insurance, was married, already had kids and was of sound mine. and they still wouldn’t grant a grown-ass woman the right to make her own reproductive choice. if your hospital has a ‘saint’ anywhere in the name, chances are you can’t get it done there, even with insurance or a handful of cash. vasectomies were and still are readily available at ALL the hospitals that refused to do her tubal ligation.

      • Isa says:

        The doctor that does them in our rural area has rules- you have to have a certain number of kids and you have to be a certain age.

    • Cali says:

      @Brittany, I was thinking the same thing, like what is this guy talking about? We’re talking about burning or tearing apart a human fetus with a heartbeat. It makes proabortionist look pretty deliberately delusional about what an abortion is in order to justify it.

      • North of Boston says:

        Very few people are “proabortionist”, whatever that is (some fringe zero-population growth zealots, maybe?) . Many many people are pro-choice and support the ideas that a) women should be able to chose what they do with their own bodies and b) abortion should be safe, legal and very rare.

        BTW if you really think about what the guy was saying, aside from the broad point that women’s reproductive choices should be just as straightforward as his experience with vasectomy was, the most equivalent procedure to vasectomy in women is not abortion, it is tubal ligation and many many many women run into all kinds of roadblocks when they try to have that procedure: not covered by insurance, access denied if they don’t have their husband’s permission, access denied if they aren’t married (what if her future husband wants children!) access denied if they have not already birthed x # of babies, etc etc.

    • Jrock says:

      Hey Brittany, you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about so shut the fuck up. I lived with severe PCOS and endometriosis so bad that my uterus was soft and getting stuck to itself. It was like Velcro, and it stuck to my intestines, etc. I went through 5 miscarriages, had a son, then one D&C (abortion) at 29 weeks because my body saw the fetus as a virus and began tearing it apart.

      I put this off because my anti-choice doctor and parents-in-law thought abortion was barbaric. It isn’t. You know what’s barbaric? Influencing someone to keep a fetus in the hopes that things “will sort themselves out”, get them all worked up about how this time, things will be different, and instead go through losing pieces of a fetus into a toilet, and being told everything is ok and given pain medication and specimen bags to refrigerate and collect fetus bits in order to to “ride it out” and “letting it come naturally”. After two weeks of the heartbeat and brain being nearly the only thing still there, and having fevers and vomiting constantly, I found the strength to tell my door to go fuck himself and my husband and I went to a different hospital emergency room, who immediately gave me real pain medication and gave me a surgical abortion. It was an incredible kindness.

      My infection from this was so bad, I spent nearly a month in the ICU. I tried to sue my doctor. In my state, doctors are protected from giving abortions if it is against their ethical or moral code. So he would’ve had me die and my fetus “torn into pieces” morally, rather than just giving me the medication and procedure I needed, and that’s ok in my state.

      This was in 2013. In 2014, I began bleeding all the time and having horrible pain constantly. My PCP recommended a hysterectomy, but we couldn’t find a doctor to do it, because “You’ll change your mind”, “You’ve only got one child”, “What does your husband think”. Even with my husband showing up, it didn’t matter. I lost my job. We were plunged into poverty. It took me 2 years to get some pathology back that could justify a hysterectomy at my age (34 then). Tada! I had stage 1 cervical cancer, stage 2 ovarian/uterine cancer. By then, I had 2 ovaries that were essentially glued shut due to scar tissue/adhesions. My uterus was 4x the normal size and complete with roped veins, and stuck to my intestines so badly that I had to have a GI surgeon cut it out and resection my intestines while they were in there. I nearly died because the veins were so large, I nearly bled out.

      So, when you anti-women’s body autonomy assholes come at me, you better be prepared, because this fucking bullshit about “the fetus” isn’t about that, it’s about not seeing women as anything more than a baby dispenser. My son wouldn’t have a mother thanks to people that take hard stances on this shit. I’m so glad that he’s male and won’t inherit my horrible curse of a reproductive system. I sincerely hope you and your loved ones never in this position, but if you are, I hope you remember me. Because I’m remembering all of you and your “it’s a baby!” arguments, and I’m counting the days until you people are banished back under the slimy rock from whence you came, and I’ll fight until you’re so ashamed, you won’t even feel safe bringing it up anonymously.

      • Snowflake says:

        You go girl! Preach.

      • Jordana says:

        @JROCK
        You need to run for office!

      • Jrock says:

        Thanks @Snowflake & @Jordana! Man, I have been trying to be kind to everyone about everything, and tried to be understanding about people having their own feelings and morals, but holy crap, I have just had enough. I’m in Missouri, and they just signed in the 6-week ban. Nothing says “I want every woman to die” quite like a universal ban on abortion, and I am just over it. I’m trying to get in touch with some lawmakers to present my story (with receipts) and hopefully save some lives.

        During that 2 weeks of hell, I was taking care of my then-1-year-old, and I was feeling so guilty and horrified and disgusted that I wanted to kill myself. I honestly didn’t think I could go another minute with the constant contractions and feeling yourself lose another fetus part while you’re just trying to get your kid back to sleep. I was crying all the time and pulling my hair out, and my doctor wouldn’t even talk to me on the phone and said he couldn’t see me again for a month. A MONTH! Not only is this still the law if you’re morally against it, but now it’s illegal even if you want to help in my state. Politics and religion have no place in medicine.

    • Trashaddict says:

      No duh, Britanny, you are so NOT being punked:
      https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/9kxam7/tubal-ligation-requirements-doctor-denials

      And here is the America that the people behind abortion bans wish to bring back:
      1977 Arkansas:
      Arkansas: hospital ordered to stop requiring spousal consent to wife’s sterilization.
      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12259978

      This took all of about 5 minutes of searching on the web.

    • Courtney says:

      Younger women and women with no children or only one child are discouraged or prevented from getting their tubes tied all the dang time.

  10. Kendra says:

    Vasectomy on males is not as big medical procedure on men as with women. But the real comment Jere is about abortion clearly which has nothing to do with controlling reproduction but belief that life begins at conception and that you can’t make arbitrary lines that are moved as medicine advances.

    • otaku fairy... says:

      Would you and your husband be ok with being a part of an emergency gestational carrier draft to prevent abortions?

    • LadyGrainacorn says:

      Great, support science based sex education and easier access to all forms of birth control. These things have been proven to reduce the number of abortions being performed. Speak to your fellow pro lifers about letting go of the idea that women need to be punished for having sex and that the best form of punishment is a pregnancy that could end said woman’s life. To do otherwise, shows you lie when you say that it’s not about taking away reproductive rights.

    • Megan says:

      @Kendra – If you think the politicians passing laws to control women’s bodies are doing it because they believe life begins at conception, I have a great opportunity with Lu La Roe for you.

    • Wisca says:

      Dear Kendra, I am so sorry for your suffering.

  11. E. B. Mann says:

    To those who would meddle in my private healthcare decisions, I say:
    Don’t like abortion? Great, don’t have one.
    Don’t have a uterus? Then shut the f**k up.
    Don’t remember what an abortion ban looks like? Study Ireland.

    • AnnaKist says:

      I think that’s the entire point, E. B. What you decide is best for you is none of my business. If I’m not prepared to support, then I should step aside and not hinder you, and I should shut the feck up.

      These bans are getting a lot of coverage here in Australia. In some states here it’s still a bit difficult to get a termination, but o impossible. In my state, while it’s not publicised it’s relatively easy. Every woman (I know) knows where at least one clinic is. My daughter and I have accompanied (adult) friends to such clinics and then brought them to our home to look after them for a few days following the chemical or surgical procedure. We are incredulous that in a nation such as USA women are still having to fight for the right to govern their own bodies, whether that be to enjoy a healthy sex life with whomever they choose, contraception or termination of a pregnancy. This is still the most basic way of men controlling women, and women shaming their sisters. It’s despicable.

      • Lozface says:

        Yes, I agree the outrage in Australia has been quite surprising but also promising. Even with a conservative government here there’s never any talk of taking away a woman’s right to choose. I even read up on the laws in each state and territory to make sure they were available for all Australian women.

        Religion has too much influence in the US and I feel for our sisters over there – it breaks my heart that in 2019 this is even up for debate. Don’t like abortion? Don’t have one.

        Great to see men championing the cause too!!!

  12. Susie says:

    When my husband went in for his, his doctor’s main concern was that he was going to divorce me and marry a younger woman that wanted kids!! I couldn’t believe it!

    • bettyrose says:

      Wait, his doctor’s concern was that he was hurting his chances to be a middle aged douche bag? Gah. When I first told my (female) doctor I wanted to discuss permanent sterilization options, her exact words were “No reputable doctor would recommend this for someone your age.” I was 36.

      • astrid says:

        I was in the same boat. I had to demand to have my tubes tied after having my fourth kid at 40. I was done!

      • Original Jenns says:

        At every step, other people are trying to control a woman’s body. It’s disgusting.

      • Susie says:

        Yeah! He said that the doctor told him “you have to be honest with yourself. Realistically, what are the chances you’re not going to divorce?” My husband told him that realistically, his wife would kill him before signing divorce papers! 😂

      • lucy2 says:

        I have seen so many women say that they want their tubes tied, or a hysterectomy, and their doctors say no. It’s infuriating.

        I’m really glad he shared this publicly. It is so much physically easier and less risky for men, and while there is some push back like Susie’s husband experienced, I bet all of those doctors of male patients expressed their concerns and then said OK, let’s do what he wants. Whereas female patients get flat out turned down and refused.

    • Harryg says:

      OMG.

    • schmootc says:

      If his doctor was a guy, bets on whether or not he had a second or third young wife/family himself?! But but, why don’t you want to be a middle-aged cliché like I am?!!

  13. bettyrose says:

    Bet strangers on the street don’t order him to “smile” either. We have some issues, ‘Murica.

  14. Ana says:

    Again, we GIVE BIRTH to those same men-turned- a-holes trying to control our bodies. Education has to start from the crib. Sure it won’t do much for this generation, but the next generation can be changed and turned in our favor. As the mother of a young boy, I know I will be teaching my boy to respect, admire and support women. We women have to fight as OP said but this sistem needs to be destroyed from the inside. Start from home.

    • Original Jenns says:

      I agree. I’m just terrified that it’s too late. We’re closer to having the Supreme Court strip women down to their uteruses than having the young men we raise be able to speak out for us.

      • Bettyrose says:

        It’s not too late. R v W was what we needed in 1973 to prevent states from outright banning abortion (remember, if it’s overturned, it will still be legal in a number of states). What we need now is a federal law. And we may be moving that direction.

  15. Harryg says:

    His show is great!

  16. CES says:

    I’ve never heard of him until today, but he has my full stamp of approval. Considering sperm is literally the seed to make a pregnancy happen, why don’t men get shamed for a vasectomy? They’re destroying the seeds of life how could they!!?? The hypocrisy in pro-lifers is astonishing. I’m just glad more men are speaking up. I live in North Carolina and the last I heard we aren’t looking to change our abortion laws, but North Carolina will likely follow suit if all the surrounding states do it. I feel confident we’ll be okay since Virginia, to the north of us, is a lot more progressive and our state as a whole is very split politically. Pat Mccory lost his attempt of a second term for governor because of the bathroom law he passed and it cost our state millions of tourist and event dollars. Money talks! I have every intention on moving out west if that changes though. I also refuse to travel to any of the states that have changed their laws. That’s the best all of us can do is not give these states our money. I’ve already seen ads to travel to Georgia so they’re already struggling it seems.

    • Eliza says:

      So many shows are filmed in Atlanta or nearby. I hope Hollywood stands strong. Money does talk. People losing jobs talks. I hate that everyday people need to hurt because 25 white dudes need to hurt women

      • CES says:

        I’ve read that two shows so far have pulled out of filming. Hopefully more will follow.

    • madthinking says:

      I see your point, but a vasectomy is closer to getting your tubes tied than an abortion. I fear you give these crazy we need to reproduce like rabbits guys another idea. They may make getting your tubes tied an issue too. For all we know they might think life begins at the thought of having a child. Personally I think they are nuts plus woefully unrealistic. It’s not like people who are desperate are not going to find other methods, probably better than coat hangers as times have changed, but still unbelievably unsafe.

      Now I’m torn on the film boycott, as the people of Georgia don’t want this law according to polls. Do you stay in and try to change it from within or do you boycott. Don’t know.

      • North of Boston says:

        Getting your tubes tied is already informally an issue in many places.
        See all the the posts on this thread describing the resistance some women have met when the wanted the procedure.

  17. madthinking says:

    One thing that bothers me a lot about the abortion fight is all the white old men who make the laws. They showed a picture of the men who created Alabama’s law and all white men most old, no women or p.o.c. to be had. Granted a woman governor signed it into law, but still she’s old. I just feel like if women decided this, even with the ones who are anti-abortion, we could come to a better ground. I honestly think men think some women want to have abortions. I don’t know a woman who would like to take the time, the procedure- which isn’t fun, and the money to have one, plus the mental anguish I think most women go through in doing the procedure. It’s crazy to think that women seek abortions it’s more the last resort not the I’ll schedule it after my mani kind of thing that a lot of men make it seem.

    • bettyrose says:

      Yet women keeping voting for these men, and the governor of Alabama is a woman who signed the bill. Yes, old white dudes are calling the shots, but plenty of (mostly white) women are propping these geezers up against their own best interests. I don’t understand it, but let’s not let the women involved off the hook.

  18. phlyfiremama says:

    Wow, what an ENTIRELY different experience than what I have had to deal with. As a single active duty MILITARY woman with one child, the Military~and subsequently, the VA~ REFUSED to tie my tubes because I “might change my mind”. Flat out REFUSED to tie my tubes, leading to (guess what!!) an abortion because other birth control didn’t work/made my body wonky. F@ck this $hit, every single one of us needs to be IN THE STREETS, UP IN ARMS, about this BS. I am SO tired of having to fight this frigging battle time after time after time. ERA NOW!!!

  19. Baltimom says:

    @Brittney and @BillBob I understand you guys think fetuses are cute and cuddly but that doesn’t happen until they are actually born. Before that, they are dependent blobs of cells. Pregnant women and girls who are considering an abortion have much bigger fish to fry than to worry what you guys think about them. Why not really help them by fighting for more parental leave, national health care, national preschool, a better domestic adoption process? Doing those things will actually decrease the number of abortions. What you guys want will result in more deaths from women committing suicide or harming themselves in DIY abortions.

    • Jrock says:

      Those two and @Kendra don’t give a fuck. They think they’re above it and it makes them feel morally superior to stick their nose in the air and judge others.

      I love babies, too. You know what I didn’t like? Being told by a medical doctor that even though my body was tearing my 29-week fetus apart, it was best to “ride it out”. I had no idea that my doctor was anti-women’s health. He gave me a prescription for codeine for the pain, a hat to put in my toilet, and specimen bags to collect the fetus as it fell apart, which then needed to be stored in the fridge and driven to the doctor’s office every day by my husband, so they could keep track of what was passing.

      They want to talk about cute babies?! Try fishing a baby arm out of your toilet and your doctor telling you that the heartbeat is still there, so you’ll have to just let it happen. Making you begin collecting all the fetus bits into a bag, knowing that your refrigerator is holding it, and then forcing your husband to drive to the office every day with another bag of it. THAT’S fucking barbaric. That’s some 1400′s shit right there. But that happened to me in 2013, because my doctor isn’t required by law to save my life, because of his stance against abortion. My doctor didn’t return my phone calls, but his nurse told me he was “monitoring” via the fetus bits that my husband was dropping off. He wouldn’t check for a heartbeat again so we could do a procedure, he wouldn’t even talk to me. After 2 weeks of spontaneously losing another chunk here or there, not being able to sleep, taking care of a one-year-old on top of it while I had fevers and shakes, we went to an ER my doctor didn’t operate out of, and they immediately gave me pain relief and an abortion.

      It turns out, I was in septic shock, and my body was shutting down. I was in the ICU for a month. I hallucinated, forgot things over and over, and I nearly died. My son would have lost his mother. My state just signed in a 6-week abortion ban. If this kind of shit is what you want for your friends, your family, and your children, keep voting for these fucking barbarists. Be prepared for the women in your life to start dying around you quickly. I thought about killing myself, I tried pennyroyal tea, blue cohosh, etc. I almost grabbed a vacuum and just went for it. As your suffering increases, you get increasingly desperate.

      Also! Pregnancy is one of the most dangerous times for a woman. Do you know why? Because men who don’t want children fucking kill them.

      You don’t have permission to touch others without their permission. It’s assault. So do you want me making your future medical decisions? Here’s my decision: don’t take any medication at all, ever, because you should just die if that’s God’s plan for you. If God’s gonna save you, he’s gonna save you. If not, maybe you didn’t deserve it. Probably made some bad decisions or didn’t pray hard enough, and don’t deserve to be saved. Maybe you make good decisions, but your kids don’t. Your sister. Your parents. Cool. Let’s just start burning people at the stake again! How about that, you anti-women’s body autonomy pieces of shit?

      Something snapped in me today, and I am fucking OVER IT. Come prepared, you fucking murderers of all living women, and despair, because I will keep voting against you and protesting against you and shouting you down the second you reveal yourselves. Nothing’s more personal than you wishing me dead.

      • E. B. Mann says:

        Darlin’, you need to find yourself an angry, crusading (preferably female) medical malpractice lawyer & take that misogynist’s house.