About a week ago, we heard that a judge had issued a protection order against Brian Hickerson, Hayden Panettiere’s boyfriend, ordering him to stay away from her following a domestic violence incident in their home on May 2nd. Brian was charged at that court hearing with felony domestic violence. US Magazine, which has had exclusives about Hayden in the past, claims that her friends are worried that she’s still seeing Brian in violation of that court order.
“It’s disturbing to family and friends that Hayden and Brian may not be following the court order,” a source tells Us Weekly exclusively. “There is not one single person out there who isn’t concerned about Hayden. What Brian did to Hayden is unacceptable behavior, and it’s not to be tolerated.”
Those closest to the 29-year-old actress are unsure whether the two are seeing each other but know how severe the consequences could be if the couple ignore the terms. “Violating the court order puts both of them in jeopardy. They could both get in serious trouble,” the insider says. “Hayden’s friends and family are giving her space because she is going through a lot. They are being supportive as much as they can and as much as Hayden is willing to take it all in.”
“It’s going to take her some time to realize this is all for the best and to protect not just Hayden but other people. If it’s not Hayden, it will be someone else,” the source tells Us. “Everyone hopes she’s following the rules. Her friends check in with her. But when she wants privacy, no one can do anything.”
According to the insider, the aspiring actor is not living with [Hayden] at the moment.
At least they’re not living together, but as I said in the last post about Hayden, abuse is insidious and hard to escape. She may legitimately fear for her safety if she tries to leave or cut him off entirely. She may also think that it will be ok and that she can manage everything. We heard earlier this year, also from US Magazine, that Hayden’s four year-old daughter, Kaya, has been living with Kaya’s father, Wladimir Klitschko, and his family in Ukraine. That sounds like the best situation for the girl. I hope that Hayden can find a way to get out of this relationship. I’m really worried about her.
This photo at the top of this story is from October, 2018, when they were visiting Hayden’s family in Florida. Event photos are from February, 2019. Credit: Backgrid and WENN
Her situation right now makes me incredibly sad. I hope she can get through this, not only for her sake but for her daughter’s as well.
Yes, I do, too. It’s so hard to break away from that particular toxic situation, though. Its energy and its hold on you come from a terrible pattern of fear and relief, rejection and acceptance, isolation and belonging. It would be hard to describe how those patterns take hold of you, make you dependent on your abuser and grateful for the briefest episodes of peace and affection. It really is a form of Stockholm syndrome–identifying with your captor, feeling flooded with relief and gratitude that suddenly he’s embracing you, not hurting you, “loving” you. He is both good cop and bad cop, all in one.
So we’ll put Lahdidahbaby.
I stayed with a horrible man far past when I should have. My roommate thought I had Stockholm syndrome. When someone vascillates between adoring you and treating you like you are less than human, you lose your self worth to them and feel like they are the only one you can get it back from.
Great point, Hmmm—an essential one, really: Because of the fact that they’ve taken it from us, we feel we can only get it back from them. I stayed seven years. We need to let women in that situation know that they CAN get free of it even if they don’t—can’t—see past the trap they’re in at present. After hiding it for years out of shame and embarrassment, I’ve come to understand that it’s a cause for pride to have gotten free of it…and that maybe I owe it to others who feel trapped in that situation to speak out and say, You can get free. You can take back your life.
Proud of you Lahdidahbaby.
I hope she gets help and stays away from him, he’s a nasty human being who will never change.
‘Aspiring actor’ says it all about him, he’s a user and abuser who think he can get a career out of this. Muppet.
Yep. Exactly right.
I dont recognise her!
I’m not being disrespectful of her when I say, Maybe she no longer recognizes herself. That’s what happens.
She didn’t have a stable home life IIRC. Her dad was abusive to her mother, and her mother was a classic state parent. Then she had a baby and seriously struggled with her mental health. There are also reports of lots and lots of drinking. She’s just not in the space where she should be having any romantic relationship, and I worry she doesn’t see how bad this guy is. I hope she figures it out soon and gets herself safe.
On top of that she was a child actress and probably carries all the scars that come along with that. She was much less famous than Lindsay/Hillary/etc but she came up around the same time, and while she was in movies not TV were still seeing some of the results of being brought up in the industry.
I honestly have no idea why any parent would sign their little ones up for this kind of life, knowing what happens to the majority of child actors when they grow up. Between her abusive home life growing up and the Hollywood machine, Hayden’s present makes a lot of sense. It’s sad but unsurprising.
There are some truly awful and disturbing stories about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her family. If only half of it is true, it’s sadly not surprising she’s in this place but twice as important that she gets out.
People with C-PTSD repeatedly seek out “rescuers,” struggle to set and enforce boundaries, and for those reasons tend to be revictimized. You have to be able to recognize it in order to break the destructive cycle. She has a lot of hard work ahead of her, and she clearly isn’t there yet.
Took your 4 yr back to Ukraine is just something I can’t get past.
The four year old’s dad is by all accounts a great father. And he’s not struggling the way Hayden is right now. It’s better for the child to be with him.
Wladimir Klitschko is a calm, nice, intelligent, stable and wealthy man. The kid is in good hands.
I think this is the best choice she has done. Keeping a 4 years old in a situation like that would be crazy.
Why? Dad is stable and wealthy. He can give her a great life. IIRC his mother(kaya’s grandmother) is with her all the time and is taking on the day to day care, so she has constant care from a loving family member. Plenty of kids out there should be so lucky
The only good thing about any of this is the fact that she was aware enough (I hope) and wasn’t selfish (like many parents not fit to parenting, sadly, often are) and realized she really isn’t capable of giving her kid a good, stable home.
Although, even before all of this, there was talk on gossip sites, forums and so on that she wasn’t a really involved parent. It’s easy to get to Ukraine in this day and age, and it seems she isn’t an often visitor. So, by all accounts, being with her father is absolutely the best solution.
I work with underserved and at risk families as my job in social services. I applaud her for relinquishing custody of her daughter to the stabilized environment her husband’s family is able to provide. I hope the best for Hayden and want her to be in a place where she could be a part of her daughters life, but having witnessed so many parents who were struggling with personal issues and watching their children suffer along through that, is not the best for either party. Her daughter is much better off where she is. Many parents can’t make this decision, especially mom’s, and I want to give Hayden credit where it is due. Hoping she can remove herself from this toxic place and move towards better things.
I agree. By all accounts, Kaya’s father is an excellent parent who has support from his family, as well. The little girl is in a stable, loving home. It must have been a terribly hard choice for Hayden to make as a mother. For all her questionable decisions, I have to applaud her on that one.
Sorry posted on wrong thread.
I’m not going to credit her for getting rid of her daughter to be free to live a crazy lifestyle. How about being responsible and getting it the f together? I’m sad for the little girl. Being abandoned by a selfish parent is so hard.
And if she’s in an abusive relationship? Wow. So “she’s living a crazy lifestyle?” Does that mean she “deserves what she gets?” I know this is a gossip site but you can still show some compassion as a human being. No one “deserves” to be abused. Everything in her history, both what’s known and even worse, what’s rumored, indicates that she was dealt a piss-poor hand by life—horrible parents, abuse, and that doesn’t even include the minefield that is Hollywood. Rendering judgement from on high is a really bad look. And it’s not “selfish” to let your child be raised by a stable parent if you’re not capable of being a stable parent yourself.
I never said that she deserved to be abused. I have compassion for her daughter only. Her mother never tried to be a stable parent. She just doesn’t love her child enough to try. The child is what, 4 year old? And she gave up on her. She doesn’t care about her child’s health. I have no compassion for someone capable of such an awful thing. Her life, her choices, my prerogative to judge her about it.
Come on. She relinquished custody long before she got involved with this guy.
It’s absolutely for the best that the kid is with her father,yes.
Should more people take note and remember that, when this kind of decisions are to be made, parents shoukld think about their children’s welfare FIRST and their feelings and wishes second? yes, of course.
But the fact is, by all accounts, the question of custody wasn’t even a question for Hayden. And to know that your mom decided that addiction and lifestyle that comes with it is more important than her kid, well, that WILL sting in the future.
People, if you decide to have children, get your ish together! World is full of sad, tragic and betrayed children’s destinies as it is.
Bans how do you know her mother doesn’t love her enough to try? Maybe Hayden loves her daughter so WELL to realize she is not the best parent right now. It’s terrible to assume the mother is ALWAYS the best parent. The child belongs with whoever can best raise her. You’re free to judge her, but I’m free to call you out (and I’m not the only one) on your appalling lack of compassion. There’s a saying for judgey people like you : the person who wanted to set Christ straight.
what do you mean by “free to live a crazy lifestyle”? do you think hayden is really having fun living like this?
How sad and hopeless must you be to allow that? To say “the kid is better off without my trainwreck self in her life?” You can call it selfish, i guess, but I’d call it a sign of major depression issues.
The child star cliches once again prove their staying power, and combined with an abusive family history? Ugly stuff. I feel like I’m watching a slow motion car crash. But I still don’t think we have seen the worst yet.
My bestie is in a bad relationship with drug use and it’s so hard. I’m so worried about her I started attending Nar Anon Family Groups. I’m not saying Hayden has substance abuse issues but for my amiga it’s a bad bad bad relationship with bad drugs too and I’m worried. I’m rooting for Hayden.
Been there. You think love will solve anything. You begin to feed and thrive on it because you subconsciously believe it’s what you deserve, and that all the drama and tears will bring you closer together because you just know you can fix him (or her). It’s a terrible loop of low self esteem and chronic shame. It took me a long time to move past it.
I am shocked that her life is closely mimicking her character on Nashville. Kind of chilling.
Regardless of anything or nothing happening in Hayden’s life, after a separation if the parents of a kid don’t live in the same state or country then obviously one or the other has to be the custodial parent. No one bats an eye if that parent is the mother. No one assumes that a non custodial father mustn’t care about his kid, or is off having a “crazy life” but the minute a mother isn’t the primary caregiver she’s a terrible unfeeling cow who doesn’t care about her kids.
Mothers have no biologically bestowed skills, society has trained us to insist they do but their parenting is not inherently better or worse than a fathers and the decision as to the most appropriate custodial/primary parent should be made on a case by case basis. If you don’t automatically assume that non custodial FATHERS are somehow deficient/worthy of scorn then you shouldn’t do it when it’s the mother either.