Dominic Monaghan: Evangeline Lilly broke my heart in 2007

Anna Faris has really found her footing with her Unqualified podcast. She not only has a knack of putting her guests at ease, she finds just the right angle to get them to open up about a topic. The stories that come from her episodes sound like therapy sessions. The latest one from Dominic Monaghan is no exception. He laid bare his heartbreak over his break-up with Evangeline Lilly. The couple starred together on Lost and began dating in 2004. Things ended in 2007 when Evangeline started seeing someone behind Dominic’s back. He’s only gone public with it once, when he responded to a tweet about Evangeline with, “Nah, I don’t date cheaters.” But he expounded a lot more to Anna. Dominic said Evangeline was the only time he’s ever truly had his heart broken. They’d talked about marriage and kids in their future. And when he was told she was cheating, he found out everyone on Oahu where they were shooting knew, so he was mortified too. However, Dominic recognizes his addictions at the time played a part in pushing her away. And that the whole painful experience led him to sobriety and stronger relationships with people.

On their relationship: I’ve only really got my heart broken once in my life. I was dating an actress on Lost called Evangeline Lilly, who, you know, has gone on to have a name all of her own. And yeah, you know, I don’t really know how she would explain the narrative, but from my point of view, it was probably the first time in my life that I was just kind of all in.

He admits his addictions played a part: I was always the guy that wanted more. I always wanted to drink more, take more, stay up the latest, go on benders. And I just thought that she was OK with that. I think probably she was consistently exploring the idea of like, ‘Well, this is OK for a time, but, you know, he’s not gonna be a great dad or a great husband because he’s got all this work to do,’ which I certainly did.

There was crossover: I think she was kind of looking around to see what else was an option, and unfortunately, there was a little bit of a crossover, which was pretty upsetting for me. It just kind of exploded in my face.

Being in a public relationship made it worse: It exploded in my face in like an awful way because not only do you go through a public breakup, because at the time, that TV show Lost was kind of a big deal around the world, so it was kind of known that we were together and then known that we were not together.

How he found out: To say I was devastated is an understatement. I had to be told by a third party like, ‘You do realize that she’s with this guy,’ when we were together. And I was like, ‘Wait, what?’ And this person was like, ‘Yeah.’

I genuinely think that they were trying to help. They were just kinda like, ‘You don’t have all of the facts, and we do. And there’s kind of a chance that, you know, the island of Oahu is laughing at you. And I was like, ‘Oh, well, thank you for the transparency.

The bad and the good: I think like losing that potential was super sad, but it also got me to where I am as a person. So I’m very happy that it all happened

[From Yahoo]

This is difficult because I really like Dominic and I’m not a fan of Evangeline, but I can’t totally fault her. I don’t like the cheating part, that always sucks. But if she’s in love with this guy and wants to forge a future with him and he’s falling deeper and deeper into his addictions, maybe she felt confused and trapped. She’d been with Dominic for three years and was 28 years old at the time. I’m not absolving her or anything but she was young and likely had no idea how to get out of his orbit. I do feel bad for Dominic getting his heart broken and how much it’s stayed with him. It sounds like a tough situation.

The good news is that Dominic said that despite Evangeline’s deception, he’s not given up on love and isn’t even cynical about it. The bigger picture is the heartbreak snapped him out of a spiral. It sounds like he was headed towards rock-bottom and, as upsetting as that breakup was, it set him on a much healthier life. And, it saved him from settling down with a Covid-denying, anti-vaxx tool. So, see – silver lining.

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32 Responses to “Dominic Monaghan: Evangeline Lilly broke my heart in 2007”

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  1. Steph says:

    Was he one of the hobbits?
    I hate the cheating aspect too but I’m guessing they were both heart broken. At some point she realized he wasn’t her future.

    • StellainNH says:

      Yes! He was!!

    • Owlsyn (to Isengard!) says:

      He was Merry, one of the two ‘funny’ ones (with Pippin). Sam and Frodo were the main ones, Merry and Pippin were the other ones.

    • BeanieBean says:

      He was also in the Hetty Wainthropp series, with Patricia Routledge, who played Hyacinth Bouquet (hah! sorry, that’s actually spelled ‘Bucket’, I just naturally wrote it the way she always said it!).

  2. SAS says:

    I’m just a regular person not in a crazy industry but the amount of people I know in their 30s that have totally quit drinking in the last few years because they felt it was getting problematic is fairly large!

    If we’re giving Evangeline any kind of pass for her age/life period/circumstances I would give him a pass too. But HOLY he dodged a bullet.

    • Kokiri says:

      Did he ever dodge a mess.
      She’s all kinds of awful in her personal life, & not a great actress either.

  3. Flower says:

    It’s interesting that Evangeline has never spoken about this publicly.

    It’s also interesting that he admits he was an addict.

    • TIFFANY says:

      Considering her narcissism, are you surprised she never talks about anyone else?

      She used her children to justify not following Covid protocol in Hawaii.

  4. Owlsyn (to Isengard!) says:

    I loved him as Charlie on Lost and am still bitter about his character’s fate. Harrumph.

    I’m glad he was able to get to a better place but it absolutely sucks that his wake up call was getting his heart broken.

    • Lightpurple says:

      “Not Penny’s Boat”

      I sobbed through that episode, Charlie sacrificing himself for Penny and Desmond.

      • TikiChica says:

        Penny and Desmond though, what a love story!

      • FHMom says:

        They are my favorite Tv love story of all time.

      • Owlsyn (makes her own kind of music) says:

        “I won’t call for eight years, Penny!”

        Oh man in The Constant when the phone is ringing and you don’t know if Penny is going to pick up or not……

      • Christine says:

        I came to this one for EXACTLY the reason you are giving. I sobbed so much at Charlie’s death, it was one of the most brutal on Lost, IMO.

    • LaurieLee says:

      Oh man, I get chills just thinking of that scene. it may be time to re-watch Lost. God I loved that show, until the ending.

  5. Enny says:

    So we’re saying maybe it wasn’t such a stretch that he played a junkie on that show…

    And that she was in at least 15 different on-screen love triangles.

    Art imitating life, or just very little range beyond what they know?

  6. Tatum says:

    I have a little sympathy for her in this situation.

    As anybody whose ever loved somebody in active addiction will tell you: it’s exhausting and draining. Addicts tend to be manipulative and self-focused. Putting boundaries and breaking off contact with them (especially if you are a person they emotionally, mentally, and/or financially depend on) can be very difficult.

    She shouldn’t have cheated and he obviously resents her for it still. For his own sake, I hope he forgives her and works through the trauma.

    • Chaine says:

      I have sympathy for her too, I’ve been there. At some point you get tired of being with someone whose focus is getting high and who will beg borrow and steal to get money to get more drugs. You get tired of days and weeks alone because they are in rehab for the fourth time. You get tired of always making excuses for them and bailing them out. You want to be done with it and leave but you can’t dump the addict because you love them, you think it will break the addict’s heart, the addict will fall off the wagon again, and you end up dragging a toxic relationship out a lot longer than necessary because of guilt over leaving someone who will undoubtedly use the breakup as an excuse to go on another bender. And you don’t want to put the addict’s mom through it because once you are gone the burden of the addict will fall back on her. Then you meet a normal person who is romantically attracted to you and treats you like a human being and has goals beyond looking for the next high, and you have actual fun with them and intelligent conversations without worrying every little second about whether they’re using, and you see the light of real future and possibilities for a life beyond babysitting an addict, and you “cheat” and it’s the best thing that ever happened to you because it gives you the courage to make the break. Not sorry I cheated, it changed the course of my life for the better.

    • lucy2 says:

      I do too, that’s a tough position to be in, and it sounds like she didn’t know how to end things with him and blew it up by cheating. Sadly a lot of people do that instead of having the hard conversations. And given that they worked together in sort of an isolated location, it had to be difficult.
      I feel bad for him too, it sounds like he was spiraling and then really hurt. Glad he’s turned it around and is doing well now.

      I was one of the few people who actually liked her on Lost, and always thought she was so pretty, but she’s turned out to be kind of a crap person.

    • Amando says:

      I totally agree. She should have ended it before moving on with someone else, but it is so hard to deal with an active addict and the fact that he isn’t accountable for what he may have put her through shows me that he is a jerk. This isn’t the first time he’s spoken about her cheating, he loves to drag her every chance he gets.

  7. Honey says:

    “Not Penny’s boat” for any of you LOST fans. A heartbreaking moment in the show.

  8. Mia4s says:

    “And, it saved him from settling down with a Covid-denying, anti-vaxx tool. So, see – silver lining.”

    This all day. Not to mention she supported the far-right “convoy” group who terrorized Canadians for several weeks. To hell with her. I won’t spend a penny on any project she’s involved in.

    • Michael says:

      I had no idea she was so problematic. I never really followed her career and only every once in a while I would see something stupid (IMO) that she would say. But it sounds like she is a jerk. So her cheating on him was a blessing on disguise in that it woke him up from his addictions and it got him away from her.

  9. Watson says:

    Looks like he dodged a multitude of bullets here.

  10. Lens says:

    I don’t have much sympathy for ‘overlapping ’ as he calls it. Just make a clean break with someone beforehand.

  11. Jess Mederson says:

    I’m not a fan of her and her anti-vaxxer ways, but I have a great deal of sympathy for her in this situation. It’s easy to say, “just break up with him.” But for those who are in a relationship w an addict, especially if they were raised in a toxic family where they were taught to have no boundaries and prioritize everyone else first, that’s often near to impossible. I’m always annoyed when people find cheating the ultimate relationship sin – there are so many things that are worse in a relationship and the cheating often comes as a result, for people who feel like they can’t get out of a toxic relationship but need something positive for themselves. I feel awful for addicts-I’ve watched both my mother and brother struggle my entire life-but I also know how hard it is to be in any kind of relationship with them, and how good they can be at using and manipulating others, so all my sympathy here is with EL.

  12. SarahCS says:

    Ok this does leave me with some sympathy for 2007 Evangeline Lilly (and I have very strong feelings about people who cheat). 2022 Evangeline Lilly can take a hike.

  13. FHMom says:

    He is also problematic. Nobody here looks good.

    • Jaded says:

      She’s definitely worse. He’s overcome his addictions, she continues her anti-vax bloviating. “I believe nobody should ever be forced to inject their body with anything, against their will,” she loudly stated after attending an anti-vax rally in which RFK Jr. likened vaccine passports to slavery. SMH.