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Selena Gomez gets criticized for her weight and appearance a lot. She also responds to that criticism a lot, usually on TikTok, more times than I’ve even covered. Sometimes she mentions her medications, sometimes she mentions holiday eating, and sometimes it’s just an I don’t care vibe. Selena appeared on an episode of Apple TV+’s docu-series Dear… and admitted that the despite her outwardly brushing it off, the body shaming comments actually do get to her.
Selena Gomez is being honest with fans by saying she was unable to ignore online criticism about her body, even though she made it seem like she was unaffected by it.
While appearing on the latest episode of Apple TV+’s documentary series Dear …, Gomez, 30, reflected on the body-shaming comments she’s received because of her fluctuating weight, which she said she’s struggled with while living with lupus.
“My weight would constantly fluctuate because I would be on certain medications. And obviously, people just ran with it,” she said. “It was like they couldn’t wait to find a thing to bring me down. I was being shamed for gaining weight because of my lupus.”
The Only Murders in the Building star admitted that although she has typically used her platform to show others that she’s unfazed by criticism, it actually left her in tears when she was alone.
“I lied. I would go online and I would post a picture of myself and I would say, ‘It doesn’t matter. I’m not accepting what you’re saying,'” Gomez said. “All the while, being in the room posting and crying my eyes out because nobody deserves to hear those things.”
“Though I was posting these things saying it doesn’t bother me, because I didn’t want it to bother other people who are experiencing the same thing, getting shamed for what they look like, who they are, who they love,” she added. “I just think it’s so unfair. I don’t think that anybody deserves to feel less than.”
This completely tracks. Body shaming comments bother — I don’t want to say everyone — but most people. And especially the volume and nasty specificity of people commenting about Selena’s body since she was a teenager, of course it bothers her. The fact that she responds at all also indicates that these comments bother her. I get what Selena was trying to do though, by posting that the comments didn’t matter to her. She was trying to empower fans who might have the same negative experiences and show them that they shouldn’t let it bother them. That was kind of her, but I’m glad she’s being honest now. Selena’s acknowledging that mean comments hurt and they do affect us, but we don’t deserve them and shouldn’t let them run our lives. She’s very relatable. And speaking of relatable, Selena posted a couple of makeup-free selfies recently. It’s nice to see a celeb looking normal instead of all glossed and glammed at home.
As a side-note, in the same docu-series episode, Selena also talked about Francia Rasia donating a kidney to her. She said: “I will never ever, ever be more in debt to a person than Francia. The idea of someone not even second-guessing to be a donor was unbelievably overwhelming.” It’s unclear when this episode was filmed in relation to that apparent snub after Selena’s doc came out, but it’s good that she said this.
photos credit: Roka/Backgrid, Getty and via Instagram
Selena is a such talented hard working young woman who between her health issues and the social media attacks actually seems to be dealing well with it all. The recent problems with Kylie and Hailey B only emphasized how worthless they are while highlighting Selena’s varied talents. Selena is an example that young women should emulate.
I feel for her. My weight has sometimes fluctuated over the years for different reasons and I-like a lot of people- are hard on themselves. As if that’s not bad enough, she has to deal with the public getting on her case. I can’t imagine what that feels like for her.
Even if the comments didn’t bother you at the time and you can brush them off, there’s a cumulative effect of negativity just piling up.
Why do some people have to be such a$$holes?
Exactly. People forget that.
I’m glad she’s being honest too. I remember that old saying my mom taught me “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” when some a-hole boy on the school bus was being mean to me. Except that it’s bs and words are just as harmful and powerful as physical weapons. While we should all aim to control our emotional reactions to things people say to us, and we can logically understand that insults are really reflections of the person insulting, it’s not realistic to expect not to be stung or bothered by insults.
If I were her I’d just turn off all comments on social media. There’s a lot of people out there with personal body issues that they like to project onto everyone else. And apparently existing in the world as a woman means you are inviting everyone’s opinion on your body and what you are wearing at any given time.
I so relate to this! Although I’m not a public figure, I was a “known name/face” in a section of the entertainment industry for years due to my job. This was before social media (thank goddess), but my name & photos of me were in weekly industry mags. The things (mostly men & family) would feel free to say to me about my appearance were appalling! And as an adult, my weight has always gone up & down (I also have an ED history dating back to 13 yrs old & it still rears its ugly head in times of stress).
I also got incredibly sick several years ago & gained about 80 lbs, making me obese & the biggest I’d ever been in my life. I hadn’t changed my eating habits, but I was moving very little due to constant pain. I literally hid from the world for 3 yrs because I was so ashamed—I basically became a very depressed agoraphobic. After years & what seemed like 100 specialists who couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me & why I was having these bizarre symptoms & sudden massive weight gain (I gained 40 lbs in less than 2 mos), I did my own research & concluded I had lupus, later confirmed by many tests with a rheumatologist. A lot of the weight was inflammation & edema, & once I started a lupus specific med that made me nauseous all the time, which was awful, I quickly lost the weight & then some. Then I went on a mandated anti-inflammatory diet & lost even more. I became the thinnest I’ve been since early high school (& I was in my late 40s), dropping down to 118 lbs at 5’9”. You could see every rib, even on my back, all of my chest bones & my hipbones jutted out. EVERYONE commented on my weight loss, from praise to “concern.” I was told everything from I looked fantastic & how did I do it to “eat a sandwich, Olive Oyl!” (And the Olive Oyl comment was from my supposed BFF & her husband!) Even my husband, unprompted, told me he thought I was too skinny & “looked much better with a little more weight on me.” I was crushed. It was awful & I was just as self-conscious as when I was obese. Plus I had all this awful saggy skin, stretch marks & dimples everywhere. I’d gained & lost weight too quickly & without exercise, but it wasn’t my fault. Even skinny I was too sick & in too much pain (& depressed) to properly exercise.
For the past year I’ve been having severe lupus-related back issues—it’s attacking my spine—& have had a series of spinal surgeries & lots of steroids. I also had to go off my lupus meds for weeks prior to & after each surgery, & of course I couldn’t exercise—I could barely move. Weight piled back on, & while I’m nowhere near obese I’m also not skinny anymore. The comments! “What happened?!” “You finally look like a normal person again.” “I’m glad you’re not skinny anymore.” “You should start this new exercise program with me; it really helps you drop that unneeded weight & tones you up!” And my favorite, from family who hadn’t seen me in a while, “Wait, I thought you finally got skinny?!” The kicker is most of these people know about my lupus & back issues, yet they still feel free to make ignorant comments. It’s hell & has brought my ED roaring back. I can’t imagine what it must be like for a celebrity like Selena. I feel for her. Stay strong, beautiful woman!
I’m sorry that sounds really tough. I hope you have some support and feel better again soon.
I am so sorry you have to go through this, both the physical illness and toxicity from people!!
@Kate & @ABCD, thank you so much! I almost didn’t post—I’m a years-long lurker here—but felt compelled to in this case. It’s been a hard road & I don’t have a lot of support, so the kindness & support of Internet strangers is really lovely & much appreciated!
Basically, commenting on appearance and body/weight is NEVER okay and needs to end, full stop. It’s really easy: Just keep your mouth shut when it comes to other people’s appearance! You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes and/or what that person’s history contains, so just don’t say anything.
Thank you for sharing your story, Treehugger. I’m so sorry for the pain and stress you’ve endured. Sending love and virtual hugs to you.
She is such a beautiful girl. My weight fluctuates with my lupus too. It really does hurt when people make comments like “Oh you are so skinny or you put on a couple of pounds!” It’s like “Just Shut-Up!” I am in my fifties & Selena just turned thirty. I understand what she is going through. It won’t stop no matter how old she gets. Dealing with lupus is hard enough and it really messes with your appearance. It’s like that old adage just because you can’t see a disability doesn’t mean you don’t have one. Stay strong Selena. People are stupid. 😉
Selena is even more gorgeous when she’s not wearing any make-up. I’m so glad to see what she’s going through being written about. I don’t know much about her background and she just came onto my radar when discussing what she’s been through. I haven’t seen any mean comments about her body personally, but I’m on a “digital diet” as Harry said, and I knew she would be catching hell after the first photo of her not looking like an 11 year old cropped up. The same thing happened to me as a teenager while recovering from an eating disorder. My mom forced me onto a medication to gain weight and I thought I had to comply at the time and it was awful.