Prince Andrew ‘may have to write a memoir’ to make some money, lmao

Prince Andrew is so sad and pathetic, you guys. It’s actually just… funny. Andrew is a human trafficker, credibly accused rapist, nonce, friend-of-Epstein, friend-of-Ghislaine and total liar. And yet he continues to employ a top-notch private-sector PR team and he tasks them with making him sound so arrogant and yet so pathetic. Some recent classics of the genre: Andrew is innocent because of the size of a bathtub inside Ghislaine Maxwell’s London home; Andrew wants to do another TV interview to “clear his name”; and Andrew is incandescent with despair because King Charles won’t share his inherited loot. As I’ve said before, many of these stories seem to have an audience of one: Andrew is communicating with Charles via the press. Not just communicate, Andrew is often threatening Charles and openly suggesting that he too could sell out family secrets if Charles doesn’t keep him in the lap of luxury to which he feels he’s entitled. Keep that in mind for this new story: Andrew wants to write a tell-all memoir too!

Prince Andrew “may have to write a memoir” in order to bolster his ailing finances, a friend of the prince has told The Daily Beast, following reports that he was left out of the queen’s will, and her entire estate passed to King Charles.

The friend said, “He has done everything he has been asked to do. He settled the lawsuit, he kept a low profile, he hasn’t complained. His mother always valued his loyalty. She would be aghast at his allowance being reduced. He may have to write a memoir.”

Asked if writing a memoir was a serious prospect that Andrew has actually talked about, the friend said: “It’s being talked about regularly. Sarah has had real success with her books and has great publishing contacts. Harry’s book has proved that there is no shortage of appetite for stories about the royal family. Why shouldn’t Andrew tell his side of the story now his mother is gone?”

Sarah’s books are published by the romantic imprint Mills and Boon, which is part of Harper Collins. An email to Harper Collins’s non-fiction division, asking about the possibility of publishing an Andrew memoir, went unanswered. Several other publishers approached by The Daily Beast declined to comment, which hints at just how controversial publishing his memoir would be, especially if it took aim at his sex abuse accuser, Virginia Giuffre. Given the toxicity of Andrew’s reputation it seems likely that mainstream publishers would not want be seen giving him a huge payday.

He may face an uphill struggle to secure a lucrative deal with a reputable publisher; one independent publisher told The Daily Beast: “I wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole.”

However, another literary agent told The Daily Beast that any book by Andrew, while not in the same commercial league as writings by Harry or Meghan, could fetch “several million” dollars.

Asked if reports that Virginia Giuffre is contemplating publishing a book were contributing to Andrew’s thought processes around doing a memoir of his own, the friend of Andrew’s said they didn’t believe it was “a major factor.”

[From The Daily Beast]

Andrew: Screw you, I’m going to write a tell-all memoir! *leaves in a huff*
Andrew, one day later: It turns out, no one wants to give a credibly accused rapist a book deal, so I could still get to live rent-free at Frogmore Cottage, right?

That’s basically it – Andrew is so delusional that he thinks he could get himself the same kind of lucrative deals that Prince Harry has managed to secure. The problem is, no one cares. Andrew’s threats are worse than hollow – they’re doing even more damage to his position. He hasn’t kept quiet this entire time, he’s been whining loudly for YEARS about how he’s desperate to come back and how he deserves this or that. I think Charles is a f–king disaster in all things, but I don’t blame Charles for basically showing Andrew how powerless he is now.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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49 Responses to “Prince Andrew ‘may have to write a memoir’ to make some money, lmao”

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  1. Dee says:

    Maybe he should self-publish an “If I Did It” book like OJ.

  2. Tessa says:

    Sarah s books are not huge successes

    • AuntRara says:

      Right? Nobody in my circle follows royal news/gossip and if I asked them they would have no idea who she is let alone that she’s written books.

      Maybe she was “America famous” back in the day of her divorce and related scandals, but not now.

      • Barb Mill says:

        Sara’s books are historical fiction, romance type books. I read her first one and it was actually very good. I’ve just started her second one and I believe she will be writing more. They are based on women from her family tree during victorian times.
        I know she wrote a memoir several years ago so not sure how popular it was at the time. She was a very popular WW spokeswomen back in the day so I know she had fans then.

      • Christine says:

        I read this genre, and I haven’t bothered with her books.

  3. B says:

    These people really don’t get how talented they are or how much work Harry and Meghan put into the successes they have. They really think its just the titles and any mediocre (or worse) royal can achieve the exact same thing.

    • Chaine says:

      Right?!! Plus he doesn’t grasp that Prince Harry is a fascinating figure and beloved by a nation, even worldwide, so there is an appetite for his story, even from the haters, while Andrew never has been fascinating or beloved, just a sleazy pompous royal known for criminal and crime-adjacent activities.

    • Christine says:

      I agree, but it’s going to be damn funny to watch Pedo think he can pull off anything remotely comparable to Spare, so I say bring it on!

      • Mary Pester says:

        @Christine maybe he could get a job advertising deodorants! Or how about a book titled “Prince Andrew and the penny less purse. But there again, he has his horse, so he could just Don a mask and a tricorn hat and wait on the common at night to Rob the Royals as they ride past 😂😂😂

  4. Amy Bee says:

    I don’t believe this story. As Kaiser says it’s just Andrew making threats to Charles.

    • ML says:

      Yeah, I don’t believe this story either. In order to actually publish a memoir, he would have to reveal some “delicate” information to make it worth the publisher’s while. They want to make money. However, they also don’t want to be sued—Paedrew does not want plebians poking around in his business for whatever paycheck his memoir would bring.

  5. Jan says:

    Fergie and randy Andy always lived above their means.

  6. Polo says:

    I don’t think Andrew is that powerless. He could make some real trouble for Charles if he actually wanted to. The British press would eat up any of this mess and shoot so would regular people who just love drama.
    He wouldn’t sell books necessarily but the tabloid press would have a field day and you know what Charles would deserve it.
    I’m rooting for Andrew to make a mess and help in abolishing the monarchy….

    • equality says:

      Yep. He needs to do a book and a tour with many interviews. Let the UK see what their money pays for with this RF.

  7. ThatsNotOkay says:

    If Andrew told real secrets, with evidence, especially about Charles’s and Camilla, I’d actually be interested.

    • Old_Crone says:

      Me too. I wouldn’t like buy it. But I’d love to read the coverage on it.

    • Puppy1 says:

      Right! Fred & Gladys – Their True Story
      How many millions would Charles pay to have that NOT be published. At least 12 million, right?

  8. terra says:

    I don’t believe this for a second as he’ll never be willing to 100% close the door on the idea that he can just waltz back in and retake position in the monarchy. Perhaps if his mother were still alive, he’d chance it, but with the big brother with whom he shares mutual hatred in charge? No chance.

    I suppose the one argument in its favor is that it would be utterly pointless, since he’d just plow his way through whatever money he made having his name slapped on someone else’s poorly written fanfiction in no time flat, seeing as all of Andrew’s genuine ideas are complete drivel.

    • Christine says:

      I agree, terra. He is so egomaniacal, I truly believe there will always be a part of him that thinks he will be the savior of the monarchy, somehow. I don’t think he can imagine being irrelevant, much less notice that he already is.

  9. Brassy Rebel says:

    He hasn’t complained? He’s done nothing but complain, ffs! And I agree this is a pretty empty threat. Even if he could find a bottom feeder publisher, he would never burn it all down even to the extent Harry has. Unlike Harry, Andrew loves all the creature comforts and has lived with them for over sixty years. I don’t see him giving it all up for a minor pay day which is what this would be.

  10. Ceej says:

    “She would be aghast at his allowance being reduced”

    Is he a 14 year old boy? You’re in your 60s sir – maybe you should have gotten a job or made a plan other than relying on handouts. (Isn’t that the sort of thing Tories always say about the working classes?)

    • Lauren says:

      What he should have done was suck up to Charles decades ago, instead of acting like he was better because he was born while his mother was Queen.

  11. nutella toast says:

    People purchased “Spare” because they were FOR Harry and Meg. People rarely purchase books because they are against someone. They’ll wait for excerpts in an article or review, but they won’t want to give Andrew a dime, and publishers know that. Any time Andrew opens his mouth, it only hurts his case. I think Charles would be happy for Andrew to spend time in the clink or be eviscerated in civil court and be out of his way…it might even put a poor light on QE for being so loyal to Andrew and help people let her perfect image go (which Charles might see as a good thing). Idk.

    • Emily_C says:

      Or they’ll go to the library or pirate it. Getting a book from the library does benefit the writer, btw. So you should get books from the library almost all the time if it’s one you’re interested but you don’t want to/can’t afford to buy it. However, if you actively want to not profit the author at all — arr.

      Don’t pirate books except in the very rare circumstance where the author is a totally horrible person, though, because it hurts authors terribly.

  12. Alexandria says:

    He can write a book to spill more dirt on the royal family. I’ll buy it to encourage their downfall 🤣

  13. CC says:

    In the Us at least, I believe titles do not fall under copyright. He should also call his memoir “Spare” in the hopes that people get confused on Amazon.

  14. Eurydice says:

    Andrew didn’t settle the case, his mother did – just as she bailed him out on the Swiss chalet and, most likely, a host of other things. Maybe she figured he got his inheritance up front.

  15. ohheyhi says:

    That joke can’t even spell his own name. He’ll love talking on and on about himself to a ghost writer. i do like the idea of him handing some publisher his first draft and it’s all emojis.

  16. Jenss says:

    Dear god, the spectacle of a man in his 60’s moaning about his allowance from mummy being cut off. Get a job FFS. Or live off your navy pension of about £20,000 per year – plenty of other people manage it.
    And does he really think his book would have the same success as Harry’s? Er, nope. The delusion.

  17. Jaded says:

    More sabre-rattling from Andrew’s camp. If he writes a memoir trying to whitewash the fact that he consorted with a couple of pedophile predators and raped one or more of their trafficked teenagers, Virginia’s anticipated book will crush him like an overripe grape.

  18. Izzy says:

    LMAO how cute that they think anyone else in that family of fools could even come close to Harry’s level of success in publishing a memoir.

  19. phlyfiremama says:

    Nah, this is a direct threat to Charles: pay up or ELSE.

  20. Dr Mrs The Monarch says:

    An honest and complete biography would become court evidence. Any biography that passed the legal test would have a lot of information missing or single-sentence chapters titled “I can’t recall”.

    Maybe he could write about his childhood and avoid legal problems.

    Either that, or he would have to publish in the fiction category.

  21. jgerber says:

    Please write your memoir, Andrew. There are many excellent and discreet writers in England to collaborate with. Maybe ask Charles for extra security while you’re penning your tome? Some people might be jealous of you making millions of pounds telling about your fascinating life, so why not take pre-cautions? I’m sure your big brother would agree. And how dare he try to kick you out of your home! Mummy wanted you there forever! Everyone knows that!

  22. Bren says:

    Andrew actually dated Ghislaine in college I think it was.

  23. Bren says:

    He highly likely has secrets from the pedo ring

  24. Saschafrom76 says:

    Well he certainly isn’t starving now is he? BooHoo Prince Rapier