Trump has been out stumping for Republicans this midterm season, which is exactly what all those candidates deserve. Because once Trump gets before a crowd with a microphone, all bets are off on what he actually talks about. So Humpty Drumpty was in South Carolina last Wednesday at a rally for Darline Graham — you know, the one who was only supposed to finish her late brother Lindsey’s senate term and not actually run herself? Anyway, Trump strayed from Darline to his obsession with (illegally) renaming international bodies of water. This has been a theme of Trump 2.0, with his asinine efforts to whitewash both the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Ontario to being named America. Well, now he’s losing the America pretence and getting at what he really wants: his name splashed across an ocean. Trump told the South Carolina crowd that he called up Google CEO Sundar Pichai asking that Google Maps rename the Atlantic Ocean the “Trump Ocean.” For ONCE, Google said no. But in as pitiful a voice as possible.
Trump told supporters at Wednesday’s rally in South Carolina that he asked Google CEO Sundar Pichai to suggest renaming either the Atlantic or Pacific Ocean the “Trump Ocean,” but was told it could not because oceans span numerous countries.
Trump said he had contacted Pichai after Google updated its maps to reflect the renaming of the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America for U.S. users.
“We seriously looked at the Atlantic Ocean, I called Google Maps who were really great with the lake, really great and I spoke to a brilliant guy, Sundar, he heads all of Google, he’s a brilliant guy, Sergey and Sundar, totally brilliant guys,” Trump said.
He then recounted asking Pichai whether Google could handle another geographical name change.
“And I said Sundar I’m thinking of the Atlantic Ocean can you handle it?” Trump said.
According to Trump, Pichai rejected the idea.
“‘No, no, no this time I’m not doing it,’ he said,” Trump recounted, laughing. “’Oceans are different, sir, they cover really a lot of countries please don’t ask us to do that.’”
Trump said he would likely abandon the proposal, asking the crowd whether he should leave the Atlantic Ocean’s name unchanged.
“So I’ll probably pass it, should I pass? I think let’s keep it the Atlantic Ocean, right?” he said.
…The president has also floated renaming the Strait of Hormuz the “Trump Strait,” adding to his suggestions for rebranding internationally recognized geographical landmarks.
As reported by Newsweek, earlier this month at a rally in Tennessee, Trump said he wanted to add a river and an ocean to the list of places he would rename before leaving office.
“We’ve got the Gulf, we’ve got a beautiful lake, and now somebody said, ‘You need a river,'” Trump told supporters.
Trump suggested either the Atlantic or Pacific Ocean could eventually receive a new name.
“So I was thinking either the Atlantic or the Pacific,” he said, floating “Trump Ocean” or “Ocean of the Americas” as possibilities.
“Oceans are different, sir. They cover really a lot of countries. Please don’t ask us to do that.” Someone PLEASE start a petition to make this the Google Doodle of the day. May these haunted words of emasculation follow Sundar Pichai for the rest of his waking life. In the case of the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Ontario, I’d previously charged that Google Maps “couldn’t trip over their d-cks fast enough” to appease Dear Leader. But renaming an ocean — and after Trump instead of America — is what finally made them seasick. Well, now we know where the bar is: the inky, unknown depths of the ocean. So basically, water hell. There’s only one antidote, folks: go out and vote in these midterms, and vote BLUE! To protect our oceans!!
Note by CB: Instead of using Google Maps, you can switch to MapQuest for directions. They haven’t changed the names of anything and even let you view the locations of license plate cameras. You can also switch your default search engine from Google to DuckDuckGo, which actually works.
Photos credit: IMAGO/Hindustan Times/Avalon, Avalon and via YouTube
We’re watching a narcissist decompensate. The dementia is the cherry, on top.
What, no plans for the Pacific Ocean? Someone is being uncharacteristically humble.
He doesn’t know it exists.
LOL
I switched to DuckDuckGo a while back. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. I will switch to MapQuest too.
I’ve used ddg for at least a decade but over the last two years going back to a masked google. The ddg search results have deteriorated a lot. Plus if I’m using a browser for shopping comparisons I have to use google, unfortunately. Such a bummer.
Just when I thought I couldn’t hate him more 😾 Google sucks.
Lake Ontario and the Gulf of Mexico border other countries, too. What a mindset these people have.
There is a public toilet named after him in British Columbia. Maybe a toxic waste dump is next.
He also suggested that New Mexico change its name to New America and Montana to Mountains.
Well, I’m changing the phrase, from ‘his name is Mudd’ to ‘his name is Trump’. Because I don’t think Mr. Mudd was nearly a horrible as Trump.
I don’t get why no one has ever pulled Humpty Trumpty aside and told him that he doesn’t have the authority nor the legal or implementing powers to rename an international body of water — no matter how many executive orders he has signed.
And it’s sad and infuriating that Apple and Google rolled over and obediently changed the names of the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Ontario. It’s almost as if they don’t mind normalising oppression by an authoritarian regime.
I want out of this timeline now.
Can you imagine the next Democrat president who will have to put all the original names back like “sorry about that, I wish we could pretend it didn’t happen” ?
Also kind of wild to look at the other current dictators of the World who are not putting their name on everything, it says a lot.
These tech bros are really into public humiliation aren’t they? Not here to kink shame but it would be nice if they would leave all of us out of it.
In my opinion, based upon far too many years of listening to his crazy, any recounted conversation in which someone humbly calls him sir is nearly completely made up, not quoted. So my hope is the Google dude will be haunted by other terrible decisions and not this (probably fake) quote.
as a Canadian, I do not think things will ever be the same. Americans can vote whoever they want in, hell, this idiot was voted twice. The damage between the countries has been done and I don’t think it’ll just get back to normal because a democrat moves in. The idiot keeps inciting stupidity whenever someone puts a microphone in his fat, ugly face. Who knows how far the delusion will go between his brain and these other appointed brains. It’s frightening to see and hear each day is a new day of delusion, and where will it stop? He is imploding his own country and bringing about anything and anyone he can with it.