Spencer Pratt: “My earth father wishes he had worn a condom”

10 April 2010 - Las Vegas, Nevada - Spencer Pratt. Heidi Montag Celebrates Liquid Grand Opening at Aria Resort and Casino at CityCenter. Photo Credit: MJT/AdMedia

Yesterday was Father’s Day in America, and everyone’s least favorite famewhore douche decided to tweet a little message about his thoughts on fatherhood. Spencer Pratt got on his Twitter and wrote this: “This is the day my earth dad wishes he had worn a condom. No joke.” Haha, I think even the heavenly father was like “Seriously, Mr. Pratt, wrap that sh-t up, I know how this sh-t ends.” But it’s good that Spencer is lucid enough to realize that his parents hate him. Good for him. It’s good that he’s aware enough of his surroundings to know that it was Father’s Day. Of course, he probably spent the whole day jerking off on his crystals and his guns.

Spencer Pratt’s thoughts on Father’s Day?

“This is the day my earth dad wishes he had worn a condom. No joke,” the MTV reality star, 25, wrote on Twitter Sunday.

Us Weekly has reported that he is estranged from his younger sister Stephanie and doesn’t speak to his folks because “he felt his parents would talk to him only about Stephanie and that they charged him with taking care of her. He thinks she’s a loser and doesn’t want anything to do with her.”

“They noticed him changing two years ago and stayed by his side. But now it’s too much,” the source added. “They even took the pictures of him out of their home.”

His wife since April 2009, Heidi Montag, filed for legal separation on June 8 and moved to Malibu to work on a new reality show about her single life.

But a source close to the couple told Us they’re faking their split in a desperate attempt to remain famous. “Heidi and Spencer are laughing over it and having a blast,” the insider said. (Indeed, even Spencer Twittered that he was at “the beach house in Malibu” on Saturday.)

[From Us Weekly]

Eh. I was going to update everyone on what’s going on between Heidi and Spencer, but at this point, who gives a sh-t? Here are some articles about Spencer if you want to catch up – he and Heidi have accused each other of cheating, Heidi wants a quick divorce, she’s concerned about her money, Spencer wants to open up a paparazzi agency, and according to some legit sources, Spencer and Heidi are already working through the division of their assets. Aren’t their assets just Heidi’s plastic face and body… and crystals? Like, that’s what they’ve spent their money on, plastic surgery and crystals and there’s little else. But who knows? Maybe Heidi has something stashed in her big fake knockers.

Oh, one other thing – Spencer likes being called a “douche” because “it cleans a magical place with loving care.” So The Frisky is asking for help with a new insult to call Spencer. My idea: let’s call him “Crystalf-cker.”

41150, MALIBU, CALIFORNIA - Wednesday June 2, 2010. Spencer Pratt, channeling his inner mountain man, deals with the split from wife Heidi Montag by going for a solo run on the trails in Malibu. The heavily bearded reality star is seen in complete hiking attire, holding onto a walkie talkie and a water bottle. Montag has allegedly initiated legal separation from Pratt, her husband of one year, and has reportedly moved in with friend Jen Bunney. Photograph: Pedro Andrade / Kevin Perkins, PacificCoastNews.com

41150, MALIBU, CALIFORNIA - Wednesday June 2, 2010. Spencer Pratt, channeling his inner mountain man, deals with the split from wife Heidi Montag by going for a solo run on the trails in Malibu. The heavily bearded mountain man is seen in complete hiking attire, holding onto a walkie talkie and a water bottle. Montag has allegedly initiated legal separation from Pratt, her husband of one year, and has reportedly moved in with friend Jen Bunney. Photograph: Pedro Andrade / Kevin Perkins, PacificCoastNews.com

41150, MALIBU, CALIFORNIA - Wednesday June 2, 2010. Spencer Pratt, channeling his inner mountain man, deals with the split from wife Heidi Montag by going for a solo run on the trails in Malibu. The heavily bearded reality star is seen in complete hiking attire, holding onto a walkie talkie and a water bottle. Montag has allegedly initiated legal separation from Pratt, her husband of one year, and has reportedly moved in with friend Jen Bunney. Photograph: Pedro Andrade / Kevin Perkins, PacificCoastNews.com

 

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55 Responses to “Spencer Pratt: “My earth father wishes he had worn a condom””

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  1. bellaluna says:

    Us too, douche-tard, us too.

  2. Stork says:

    Actually, douches are irritating, abrasive, unnecessary, expensive, and potentially cause infection, so I think he’s got it just about right.

  3. krissy_kitty says:

    I chuckle every time I see those wilderness pics of Spencer… He’s an idiot.

  4. margo says:

    LMAO @ STORK!

    Man…that is the best comment I’ve read in a long time…LOL

  5. Cari says:

    Your “earth father” is not the only one who wishes that, Spencer. Trust me on that.

    And Stork: HAHA! Love it!

  6. Kelly says:

    He looks like an orang outan jumping around in these pictures…

  7. Anna says:

    @Stork: BEST. COMMENT. OF. THE. WEEK! ’nuff said

  8. Sarah says:

    EVERYONE wishes his “earth father” wore a condom!!!!

  9. SolitaryAngel says:

    @ Stork: AWESOME. LOLOL :D

  10. Bubbling says:

    I want to die every time I see those pictures, too funny

  11. logan says:

    Since the idiot has all the fatigues why doesn’t he join the army? They would slap the stupid right out of him.
    I’m sure there is something they could find for him to do.

  12. Nessie says:

    People are laughing at him and making jokes, but I believe that SP could be a very dangerous person, becoming more and more isolated and a loner.
    This combat thing is just the start. He is obsessed with guns and anti terrorism, spiritualism in a bad way. He is not taken seriously (maybe because of his wife and the show) and because of this he could totally lose it one day.I hope nobody gets hurt.

  13. Anna says:

    I’m sorry, one more thing: what is he *doing* there in those pics? And he’s also wearing two watches. Guess showing off his money with just one Rolex is not enough for the Prouche.

  14. Penguen says:

    When I lived in Cambridge, MA (Central Sq, if any of you know of it), there was a pretty well known resident homeless woman. I saw her near the subway a lot – she wore sweatshirts in 90 degree weather, and her hair was one, giant dreadlock that kind of funneled past her shoulders. She sat on the corner muttering to herself and occasionally would scream at passers-by.

    All I’m sayin’ is that Spencer Pratt looks like he’s about a train ride and a bottle of mousse away from turning into Crazy Cambridge Homeless Lady. Hmm. Seems like he could turn that into a reality show.

  15. Roasted says:

    Doesn’t everybody wishes that?

  16. Feebee says:

    What more is there to say?

  17. kelbear says:

    WOW! That’s all I have to say about those pictures. What the hell happened to him?

  18. Q says:

    Stork FTW!!!

    Penguen, Central Square represent!

  19. bizzy says:

    i love these pictures of wild-man action!spencer more than i can say. also, us marine-corps-groupies gotta stick together.

  20. Atticus says:

    it’s not really very funny to me anymore. I’ve always thought he was a creep but he seems to be genuinely disturbed. I have a very close family member who suffers from schizophrenia and it’s nothing to laugh about or at. I hope someone is taking a closer look at this guy and trying to get him some serious help. The episode of the Hills when he was going off on Holly Montag, when he was so upset he was sweating, was truly scary. These psychological breaks frequently happen in the early to mid 20s. If I saw a picture of my son looking like this, I’d be hauling him in for evaluation.

  21. Sugar & Spice says:

    “This is the day my earth dad wishes he had worn a condom. No joke.”

    I think it’s universally agreed, that we all wish that!

  22. Katija says:

    @Stork

    Douches – much like Spencer Pratt – are not generally recommended by physicians.

    “Earth father?!” I’m assuming that this refers to Spencer’s pal Jesus (although I am not a Christian, I have to imagine that Jesus is somewhere up there saying, ‘Uh, bro? Maybe you could try one of the other religions? They’re all great. Just don’t be in mine, ‘k?’), but I couldn’t help but get a Spencer-thinks-he’s-an-alien vibe from it.

  23. MeMyself says:

    WTF…? I rarely look at a story about this guy or his plastic doll and just saw these photos….?!

    Someone please explain.

  24. Katija says:

    @ Atticus

    TOTALLY. I think around season one of The Hills he was like, what? 21? That’s the age when schizophrenia shows itself. Contrary to popular belief, the disease rears its ugly head around 18-26. You can have totally normal kids who don’t show symptoms until that age.

    Even though his “Earth father” is a dentist, he most likely took Pre-Med courses in undergrad that included psychology and neurology. Perhaps Daddy Pratt should have used his medical training to ask questions about his son’s mental health before it got to this point, instead of just throwing more money at him.

  25. Leek says:

    He is hilarious! I think he’s growing on me.

  26. Whatever says:

    If only I had a time machine and a box of Trojans!

  27. mhjmc says:

    Yeah me too .. as well as Heidi’s dad and Miley’s dad and Paris Hilton’s Dad!!

  28. MissyA says:

    A douche is an utterly useless, misogynistic tool.

    Spencer Pratt is an utterly useless, misogynistic tool with the paparazzi on speed dial.

    . . . Papa-douche?

  29. Tia C says:

    @ Atticus: You are right. SOMEONE needs to haul him in for an evaluation. He’s obviously several sandwiches shy of a picnic at this point. Yikes.

  30. Meaux says:

    Kimberly is still kicking around in Central Square. Although she does spend a lot of time having one sided conversations, I think she’s saner than Spencer. He has no grip on reality. Kimberly just wants to rant, chat sometimes and hopefully cadge some smokes

  31. Joe says:

    see some bad things in the future for this cat. Get those guns away from him.

  32. original kate says:

    he looks like a yeti these days.

  33. Spring says:

    @penguen

    His new name should totally be “Crazy Cambridge Homeless Lady”.

    Also, what the HELL are those pictures about??? He really looks insane.

  34. Kiska says:

    He scares the crap outta me. I can see a murder-suicide on the horizon.

  35. mamalama says:

    @Kiska – he scares the crap out of me, too. Heidi I just find sad and aimless, but Spencer is a real whack-a-doodle. I don’t know that I’d go so far as murder-suicide, but something crazy is a-comin’.

  36. Arbencita says:

    I hate myself a little when I click on stories of these two.

  37. DoMaJoReMc says:

    I’m SURE he does!

    Actually, MY EARTH FATHER wishes your Earth Father had, too!

  38. Carey says:

    I can’t help thinking that his mindset is such that he is getting ready to go on a huge killing spree and die in a blaze of “glory”….famous and talked about forever….It is terribly frighteneing.

  39. My2Cents says:

    His “earth father” should be really ashamed of himself. How can a father let his mentally disturbed son constantly humiliate himself in front of the world? Spencer OBVIOUSLY has mental issues and it’s not something to keep making fun off. His parents should be getting their son some help. God knows they can afford it.

  40. bellaluna says:

    While I frequently jest at his expense (he just makes it so darn easy!), I hope he never gets his hands on real guns. I can easily see him taking the cast/producers of The Hills, his wife, a night club, insert your own group of choice here, hostage. He really is unstable.

  41. Penguen says:

    @ Spring:

    Oooh, can we use that now?

  42. archiepelago says:

    This story scares me because if Joran van der Sloot’s parents and family had institutionalized his ass, the last five years might have been different. For the mother to now say that the family thinks he is ‘sick in the head’ is too little, too late. I’m actually worried about Heidi after this story. No joke.

  43. Lady LaLa says:

    Joel McCale calls it ” His creepy flesh-
    colored beard” I guess Heidi can be called that now, too, lol

  44. Katt says:

    It never fails to amuse me that anyone takes ANYTHING this person does as a serious event. Every single thing he does in public is carefully calculated and planned out and done in full view of every bit of media that can be scrounged up. It is all fake, played out for cameras and a gullible public.

  45. CB Rawks says:

    It’s hard to read the article because I keep having to close one or both eyes depending on how easily I can blank out the pictures of that utter douche.
    I sure as hell can’t focus directly on them.

  46. BamaGuy says:

    The only clip of Spencer Pratt you need to watch to know all about him is the episode from last season where he SCREAMED abusive cruel things to his sister Stephanie and then pressed a big crystal against his forehead. He is a miserable mentally unstable deeply unhappy person. This will not end well.

  47. cheryl says:

    he’s mentally ill and needs help….maybe he’s beyond help…if big boy likes playing army so much, than why isn’t he man enough to join the service and take a hike to
    Afghanistan….that’s where he belongs!
    him dead sounds good to me…he’s a worthless piece of crap and a lousy excuse as a human being

  48. aenflex says:

    Look here’s the thing -Spencer has some issues, but honestly, at least he’s honest about them. He’s gone metaphysical, but he is not the only person in H-wood whose done that. No one talks any poo about Carradine, who was hung in a hotel closet in Bangkok, found wearing women’s clothes. Heidi, IMHO, is wayyyy more of a famewhore douche than Spencer. Spencer’s just nuts, but I really don’t think he cares any more whether or not the world is watching.

  49. crab says:

    @ Penguen, I’m from south of Boston and I know exactly who your talking about!! Ya she was definately out there!!

  50. Atticus says:

    @Katt: I totally get your point, and would have agreed even just a few months ago. I just can’t believe he’s THAT good of an actor. He looked seriously deranged on the most recent episodes of the Hills when he was freaking out at his sister and his sister-in-law.

  51. Fae says:

    Come on, someone section the poor lad. I honestly think he needs proper psychiatric help.