Charlie Sheen has given an official “settle down, hoes” interview, his first minor Q & A since the drunken, coked-out hooker implosion. I actually have to give it to Charlie – he’s not looking for sympathy, and he doesn’t pull out the tired “victim” card (although he still hasn’t said anything about the “allergic reaction” excuse). Instead, he just seems slightly delusional, claiming that the incident – which involved him doing blow, drinking profusely, locking a hooker in a closet and trashing a hotel room at the Plaza, and then yelling obscenities at the NYPD officers that arrived on scene – was all “one bad night” and that he’s entitled to it, I guess:

Jaws may have dropped over Charlie Sheen’s New York hotel adventure, but the Two and a Half Men actor isn’t stressing.

“If a guy has one bad night, everybody goes insane and panics,” Sheen, 45, tells Extra. “I’m not panicking.”

In fact, Sheen is even seemingly fine about that $150,000 watch that went missing. “The way I look at it – if you have expensive tastes, you gotta be prepared for expensive losses.”

Sheen says he’s “doing great” and focusing on his career. “Just finished a show,” he said. “Back to work. Everything’s good, everything’s good.”

[From People]

“If a guy has one bad night, everybody goes insane and panics. I’m not panicking.” Throw that one on the pile with “Everybody freaks out when I pass out in Tijuana after going on a cross-country tequlia and coke bender” and “Why does everyone hate that I hire hookers to be my date when I’m out with my kids?” And let’s not forget “They’re just jealous because they can’t hire $10,000 a night hookers and go on coked-out hotel rampages.”

So is Charlie really doing better? Is this the calm before yet another storm? Eh. Like so many addicts, Charlie is so self-defeating – I give it a few months before another implosion. Perhaps he’ll pull something for sweeps!

Photos courtesy of WENN.