Lindsay Lohan was crack-hustling at the Marmont before her crack-thievery

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Every week, I read the print issues of the tabloids, and on occasion, there’s a particularly rich piece of PR cognitive dissonance, a story that some publicist or celebrity planted just before something dirty or scandalous broke, after the tabloid went to print. This week, one of the major stories is Lindsay Lohan’s crack thievery of a $2500 necklace, a story which came out too late for the print issues of the tabloids. So imagine my enjoyment when I was reading In Touch Weekly’s Lohan story in this week’s issue, all about Lindsay table-hopping/hustling at the Chateau Marmont last week:

Lindsay Lohan was once kicked out of LA’s Chateau Marmont hotel, but the fresh-from-rehab star was right back at the swanky West Hollywood hotel on January 26, schmoozing with celebrity pals. She even shared a plate of fried with John Krasinski and Emily Blunt.

“She started to look bored at one point,” an insider says. Lucky for her, she spotted old pal Sean Penn and Daniel Craig at another table.

“She became much more animated when she was sitting with the guys, it looked like she and Sean were having a serious discussion.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Yes, can’t you just imagine that “serious discussion” with Sean Penn, both of them blitzed out of their skulls. I imagine a passionate, cracked-out monologue from Sean, all about how the UN is evil and he’s the only one making a difference in Haiti, to which Lindsay, bored out of her skull because he’s not paying attention to her, plays with her busted weave and asks “So… do you wanna get a room or something?” Now, the thought of her table-crashing John Krasinski and Emily Blunt is also interesting, and I would imagine that Emily wanted to slap the hell out of her. Wouldn’t you? But the point of the story: Lindsay is back at the Marmont, and Lindsay is still on the crack hustle, acting like she’s relevant enough to hang out with celebrities.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled crack drama. Remember how Lindsay narrowly avoided a police raid on her home? The police already had the search warrant when Lindsay’s friend/stylist “dropped off” the stolen necklace at the police station. Why the suspicious timing? Well, TMZ’s sources say that Lindsay was tipped off. The hell? Also, remember how Lindsay claimed she only “borrowed” the necklace and how it’s all one big massive crack conspiracy against her? Yeah, not so much:

You can’t just walk in and “borrow” jewelry from Kamofie & Company — the place Lindsay claims loaned her the allegedly stolen necklace — because we’re told, there’s TONS of red tape to get through first.

The jewelry store owner Sofia tells TMZ, “When we loan out jewelry, we have a whole procedure that needs to be done. There is paperwork that needs to be filled out and there needs to be insurance information given or credit card information in case something happens with the jewelry.”

We’re told the paperwork entails an itemized list of what the customer is borrowing, a signed contract claiming responsibility for the item while it’s out of the store, and credit card and insurance information in case anything goes wrong.

According to Sofia, the store RARELY deals directly with celebs — “The stylist will come in and ask to borrow the jewelry for a shoot or an event.”

Sofia wouldn’t comment on the Lindsay situation — but the surveillance tape could be the smoking gun here if it shows Lindsay signing any paperwork … or not.

[From TMZ]

At the end of the day, Lindsay just isn’t going to have to face the consequences, I know. The DA was supposed to make the decision this week as to whether or not to press charges, but that’s not happening. Yet.

And to make myself feel better about this “The Crackhead Will Never Go To Jail, For Real” situation, I’m using my second favorite set of photos of her.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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43 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan was crack-hustling at the Marmont before her crack-thievery”

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  1. Tiffany says:

    I LOVE any chance you get to use these pics! The eyebrows! The lips!
    The crack!

  2. YT says:

    Those photos are always fun to see. Perfect for Lindsay’s drama-of-the-week events.

  3. brin says:

    She’s out of her cracked out mind. Stay tuned for more stories of Lindsay at the Chateau Marmont. *sips coffee & sighs*

  4. lin234 says:

    Did she also get botox and fillers on her forehead? Those photos where she looks like a hard 45 yr old were all taken around the same time and wrinkles only get deeper.

    She’s teflon. Seriously. I’m surprised the store owner is bothering at all. Shows how far she’s fallen.

  5. Marjalane says:

    Everytime I hear of some celebrity shmoozing with Lohan, it takes that celebrity down several notches. Now, Sean Penn didn’t have far to go, but Daniel Craig and Emily Blunt? Do they not smell the cracky stench failure coming off Lindsey?!

  6. mimi says:

    This girl used to be so youthful and pretty and all that hard drinking/snorting coke has her looking like she’s a hard 40+. We are the same age yet she could prob pass as my older aunt. I was reading that she’s hoping for a Mickey Rourke comeback but I think her career is dead and gone. She needs to leave Hollywood, go to college and try to find a job like regular people

  7. cici says:

    two words: METH. FACE.

    gross. :(

  8. someone says:

    Why is it that the public at large seem to be the only ones that know Lindsey has a very serious problem..not the courts, not her family, and not her close friends..I don’t get it at all.

  9. Bex says:

    From being a young actress with some talent and unique looks, has she gone to being one of the peroxide haired, fake boobed, trout pouted Hollywood masses. Perhaps what annoys me most is the hair, WHY would anyone with natural auburn hair bleach it white aargh..

    Sorry having a bad day..

  10. Tiffany says:

    I am 41 and my face looks 10 years younger than Crackie’s. Put down the drugs…Oh that’s right, she can’t.
    She’ll be dead before she turns Wildenstein, though.

  11. Gracie says:

    So sick of the big fat lies that she’s a changed person….utter boll*cks

    How deluded are people to believe she is all ‘better’ now

    Sad, but she is no longer a starlet, just a washed out criminal junkie with really bad prospects who lives in denial trailer trash crack land

  12. normades says:

    Should read:

    “She even table crashed John Krasinski and Emily Blunt and mooched off their fries.

    “She started to look bored at one point because she has ADD and everyone was ignoring her,” a hanger-on says. Lucky for her, she spotted old coke/f#ck buddy Sean Penn at another table…”

  13. OriginalGracie says:

    I have spent 25 years dying my hair to the exquisitely lovely shade she was born with. That beautiful shade, as was pointed out, that she continues to butcher with that bleached out mess. That infuriates me to no end.

    This chick is dead inside. She doesn’t know or appreciate her life, her friends, her possibilities. It’s just a short hop, skip and jump from this to her being a for-real prostitute. Living out of some cracked out motel room on the Sunset Strip.

    It will be the only way she’ll be able to make a living. Sick. Sad. But unfortunately, inevitable.

  14. TeeTee says:

    The Betty Ford Center did nothing for her..she needs to go out of the country and be in a desolate area and NOT to return to LA..

    she will fizzle out, right there on those streets…perhaps in front of this
    hotel–alot of crack history there for her..her mom has her own substance abuse issues..

    she looks 40+ at least.

  15. Kat says:

    Love the fact that she steals shit. So hot.

  16. mln76 says:

    @Normandes I think you are exactly right.

  17. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Maybe someone will make a cracked out version of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? with LiLo & Tara Reid. In the end, Lilo will be like Al Capone: going to jail for tax evasion. Someone call the IRS on this bitch.

  18. happygirl says:

    @ brin – could you please pass the sugar? :) I think I’ll sit back and enjoy the crack show this morning as well.

  19. Way. Too. Many. Chances. No one’s doing her any favors, especially the courts. I just don’t get it. Anyone else would’ve been locked up for YEARS for the same crap. I thnk we should just stop talking about her, Dina, Michael, the whole nutso gang of Lohan.

  20. lucy2 says:

    She looks horrific. I don’t think anything will help her at this point.

    I feel bad for those she table-crashed, I’m sure they do not want their names mentioned in the same breath as hers. Can you imagine how awkward that would be, her just sitting down with you? Icky. I hope they checked for their wallets and purses after she left.

  21. NC native says:

    I don’t think she is ever going to leave LA. We are going to be reading about her “squatting” on other’s houses like Randy Quaid and his wife. She can’t be too far from running through all her money…

  22. Waldemar says:

    I love this set of pictures! Mainly the first one. Look at that forehead!

  23. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Original Gracie – totally agree, sad but def where I see her ending up too but have a feeling she may already be doing the sex for money anyhows…

  24. Bailey says:

    check out her crack brow!
    isn’t she like 24, she has a skin of someone stranded on a desert island for 40 years. yikes!

  25. the original bellaluna says:

    Frankly, I’m offended that so many people think she looks like she’s 40 (in the face). I’m 40, without any fillers, Botox, or other “assistance to my youth”: I don’t look like that. My forehead is smooth, unless I choose to express emotion. Which I do (side-eye to NK, even though I do adore her).

  26. Chris says:

    She looks like an older version of Dina! The creepy Megan Fox-esque tongue thing in the second pic isn’t doing her any favors either.
    I’ve gone full circle on this girl, her commitment to crackbaggery has kind of won my respect. I mean, if you’re going to fail, might as well make the train wreck visible for miles, right?

  27. MarenGermany says:

    “so……you wanna get a room or something?” lmaf Kaiser hillarious. it totally went down like that.

    Plus, you were quick to point that out, otherwise I would have had to: She´s back at the chateau marmont, so yeah, the crack hustle is back on.

  28. Marie says:

    I am with you original bellaluna I am almost 40 and I do not have those lines and am told quite often I can easily pass for 28-29 years old. Hell I still get carded buying my husbands beer.

  29. the original bellaluna says:

    Marie – High fives to us! :D

  30. bondbabe says:

    @original bellaluna and @marie

    I too am offended with the 40+ remarks, but I do understand why they are being said, as she’s nowhere near 40 but looks like it.

    I’m 47 and I DO have some forehead lines–but I’M 47–almost DOUBLE her age!!! I mostly pass for anywhere from 34-41.

    Unfortunately no amount of rehab/counseling will help her if she refuses to recognize her problem(s) in the first place. The pitiful vicious cycle will only continue until she admits it or until she dies.

  31. e says:

    She needs to packed up and stored away. I never thought she was talented as an actress. Same boring ‘Teenie Bop” movies. Blah! Can we just stop looking at and talking about her. If we do this maybe her Slimey Ass Bible toting Father will disappear as well.

  32. to says:

    Why would the store know how to ‘contact her people’ if there wasn’t some kind of deal going on o being floated. the store is looking like the bad guy.

  33. Praise St. Angie! says:

    count me among the “almost 40″ crowd who looks WAY younger than she does.

    And I used to smoke, and I was a lifeguard (for 6 years) and a beach freak for most of my life.

    my skin looks positively DEWY compared to hers.

  34. poopie says:

    even though i’m in my late 50′s i must say that i look a thousand times younger than lohan in that first pic.

    ok, tell me again why she is relevant..

  35. Gaby says:

    Kaiser thank you so much for the pics of beautiful people you post in a regular basis to compensate for this…Ahhhhh!!!!! I don’t even have a word for it. Yuck.

  36. Liana says:

    Why would the store know how to ‘contact her people’ if there wasn’t some kind of deal going on o being floated. the store is looking like the bad guy.
    ***********

    How do you figure? Perhaps the store has dealt with her “people” in the past. Perhaps Lindsay has shopped there before. The store isn’t looking like the bad guy, Lindsay and her shady dealings are. The store wins nothing from this, either way. They don’t need the publicity.

  37. Kim says:

    The serious conversation with Sean went something like this:

    Sean: Lindsay Ill hook you up after you blow me.

    Lindsay: ok thanks Sean youre always good for helping me score coke. Stupid public doesnt know how hard it is to be rich & famous but you understand Sean.

  38. d says:

    I’m disturbed more by the fact that Daniel Craig had anything to do with her. Ug. Talk about dropping down a few notches.

  39. NicoleAM says:

    This may be everyone’s 2nd fave group of photos (pink bathrobe ranks #1), but that top pic holds a special place in my heart.

  40. Kasper says:

    God, that first picture looks like Keith Richards after a sex change

  41. Nimrod says:

    Why would the store know how to ‘contact her people’ if there wasn’t some kind of deal going on o being floated. the store is looking like the bad guy.
    ***********

    How do you figure? Perhaps the store has dealt with her “people” in the past. Perhaps Lindsay has shopped there before. The store isn’t looking like the bad guy, Lindsay and her shady dealings are. The store wins nothing from this, either way. They don’t need the publicity.
    _____________________________________

    The store did their inventory, discovered the necklace was missing, knew that Lindsay must have taken it, checked the video and saw that she wore it out of the store, and then called the police. When a bank is robbed are they required to call around and ask the thieves to please bring the money back? She stole it! Everything else is just BS and peoples attempts to give her the benefit of doubt once again despite all the prior thefts that have occurred in her presence.

  42. Red Riding Hood says:

    Lindsay is going to be charged!!!! According to tmz, justice finally???

  43. Tara says:

    She looks like Heidi Fleiss. Poor kid. She was so great in “Mean Girls” and “Freaky Friday”. What a waste.