Lindsay Lohan to SNL: You hurt my feelings! (update: surveillance tape)

This weekend’s Saturday Night Live hosted by Miley Cyrus included a few very mild barbs aimed toward Lindsay Lohan’s latest foibles. Compared to the stuff that late night talk show hosts, comics, bloggers, judges, prosecutors, random preteens on Twitter and anyone who has ever “worked” with her says about her, it was very minor. During Miley’s opening skiton SNL she sang “I never stole a necklace or got a DUI .. never cheated on wife like that golfer guy … so what if you can see a little boob from the side … I’m sorry if I’m not perfect.” Instead of “I never,” Miley could have substituted “I haven’t yet” for accuracy. Miley also made an appearance as Lindsay on the Charlie Sheen spoof show “Duh, Winning!” That’s at about 1:00 to go in the video above. (Only plays for US visitors.) She joked “My new movie Herbie opened 68 months ago and the Los Angeles Court House just gave me my own parking spot. Winning! Duh!” She also grabbed some “baby urine” from Sheen, presumably for help with an upcoming drug test.

That was enough to upset Lindsay, who hosted Saturday Night three times between 2004 and 2006. (Which apparently never prepared her to graciously accept her status as a punchline staple). According to TMZ, which has been running stories from the Lohan camp for weeks, Lindsay considers creator Lorne Michaels “a mentor and father figure” and has “fired off an [email] to… Michaels – explaining she was disappointed with him for allowing Miley Cyrus to take digs at her on the show. [She] felt betrayed that he would let Miley mock her on TV [and] sent an email to let him know she was upset.”

Meanwhile the case of the purloined necklace is still happening. The jeweler has sold a copy of the surveillance tape showing Lindsay in the store to Entertainment Tonight, and they insist that the public release of the tape does not violate the law and will only help their case. Lindsay’s people of course insist that the tape vindicates her and that she was either loaned the necklace or forgot she was wearing it.

Only that latest excuse doesn’t hold water when you view the tape. ET had on famed lawyer Marcia Clarke, (you can view Marcia’s analysis here) who reviewed the tape and noted that Lindsay touched her neck repeatedly after she put the necklace on along with her own necklace. According to Clarke, that is a strong indicator of intent and the fact that Lindsay was conscious of the necklace being there. Clarke says that Lindsay should try to use the same excuse she gave at the beginning of this debacle – that the necklace was lent to her, a claim that the jeweler strongly denies and that isn’t supported by the tape. As Clarke explains, if Lindsay was loaned the necklace, she would have been shown on tape filling out paperwork, and it would have been wrapped up prior to handing it over. As it is, it looks like she intentionally stole it. For a probation violation like this one, Clarke says that you don’t need proof beyond a reasonable doubt and you don’t get a jury trial. “All you need is a preponderance of evidence. That means that she could get jail time even if this case never goes to trial.” Clarke thinks Lindsay might squeeze through however.

Some light jokes on Saturday Night Live are the least of Lindsay’s problems. How is she going to handle the jeers and catcalls she’s sure to get from the other women in jail? Is she going to cry and talk about how upset she is when she gets teased by the corrections officers? “You hurt my feeeelings! I’m innocent! Don’t you know that I’m a celebrity?

Update: here’s a clip of the surveillance video as shown on ET. From what I can tell it doesn’t show much except for in the preview that follows. Warning: this will launch sound about :38 seconds after the video starts playing. Mute it if you want to make sure that the sound doesn’t play.


Lindsay is shown on 2/24/11 with her “mom” Dina visiting a lawyer she used to work with. Credit: MAC/Fame.




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29 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan to SNL: You hurt my feelings! (update: surveillance tape)”

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  1. Hautie says:

    Well maybe if she stops with all the five finger discounts, while on probation for car jacking, there would be no reason to mock her. Ya know.

    And I love how, now, Lorne Michaels is “a mentor and father figure” . I bet money he has not spoke to her in 5 years.

  2. Melanie says:

    ‘Lindsay is shown on 2/24/11 with her “mom” Dina visiting a lawyer she used to work with. Credit: MAC/Fame. ‘
    Oh, hahaha. I think she should sue. The milkaholic thing was lucrative for her..

  3. Jackson says:

    Boo hoo, you hurt my feelings. Who cares? And she considered LM a ‘father figure and mentor?’ Why, because she hosted the show a few times? Very sad indeed.

    Oh, and CB, she is never going to hear those jeers from other inmates since she’ll be segregated into the “I am a Celebrity’ jail space. If she even goes in at all…

  4. the original bellaluna says:

    And if SNL hadn’t made fun of her, Blohan would be bitching about being irrelevant but for her criminal behaviour.

  5. TQB says:

    Jesus Christ, Dina. That picture. I CAN’T.

  6. CeCe says:

    I find it funny that one loser is playing another.

  7. GIA says:

    thatnk you so much!!!! that was HYSTERICAL.!

  8. Marianne says:

    God I am so tired of hearing her whine about how everybody makes fun of her. Face it Lindsay, your life is in shambles which makes you media fodder. It’s not like this was the first time, and it’s not going to be the last. I mean Miley was able to do a sketch where other cast members played her and her father. Do you think she started whining about that? After Gwyneth Paltrow poked fun at Taylor Swift (a former host), do you think emailed Lorne about her “hurt feelings”. No. It’s a comedy show, it’s what they do.

    And if you don’t want to me made fun of on other shows like Glee, clean up your act for act for god sakes. And it’s not going to happen overnight either. You’re gonna have to put some hard work into your image, for people to start taking you seriously again.

  9. normades says:

    Wow she looks like hell. Those pants and shoes are just all kinds of wrong.

  10. GradStudentEatingHotPockets says:

    Some celebrities take the SNL jokes and parodies in stride (Celine Dion, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears) and even appear on the show and make fun of themselves. I love watching those people on SNL…especially when Celine was on haha.

    But seriously Lindsay? Shut up. No one cares anymore. You took the damn necklace so just own up to it. Blaaahhhh.

  11. junk573r says:

    I like how she thinks an email is going to get anyone’s attention. There is not ONE PERSON on this earth who gives a shit if this twat’s feelings are hurt. You have to be liked and have connections to be able to threaten anything at all. Also, seriously? Two different shades of nail polish on her hands? She has the mental capacity of an eleven year old. My life would be better for never having heard of her. I cannot fucking stand this waste of space.

  12. anoneemouse says:

    Every saga with her starts and ends up the same. First she’s accused, then there’s outrage, then there’s talk of her going to jail and then she skates free again. She’ll probably do 55 minutes of jail for this. How many chances can one person get already? California should certainly be ashamed of their judicial system – it’s a joke.

  13. mln76 says:

    If I remember correctly Lorne and Tina Fey did a little intervention on her at SNL way back when and warned her that if she didn’t make changes she’d end up a punchline or worse. Guess she should have listened because she’s a punchline and about to go to jail. (Let’s keep our fingers crossed)

  14. Relli says:

    Actually Miley impressed me on SNL, she was pretty funny and clearly in on some the stuff that is her life. The Disney acting classes were hilarious and seriously Linds I do not see a press release from Raven Simone about how Keenan does not accurately portray her(OMG that was so hilarious and true). She needs to get over herself because really what were they saying that wasn’t true? She hasn’t had a new movie out in FOREVER becuase and has become more famous for her “antics” than anything else.

    And if i remember the gossip correctly the last time she hosted SNL Tina and Lorne had a intervention type discussion with her about changing her lifestyle and if that was in 2006 it obviously did not stick. I don’t think she understands that when you disappoint time and time again, people start giving up on you.

  15. Relli says:

    mln, I just hit submit and saw your post. EXACTLY!

  16. Javagirl1 says:

    God she’s stupid. And if you walk out of a store forgetting you’re wearing unpaid for merchandise, it’s still theft.

  17. brin says:

    Awwww, poor little sensitive crack thief.

  18. sapphire says:

    I think TMZ is getting short on material:they’ve been punching on this video like it was a taped confession from the store.

  19. jover says:

    The pic of lilo and her mom – the delusional accompanied by the detestable. Yes, hollywood is so admirable and sets an example for all us common folks. Right.

  20. Kim says:

    Lilo is a joke! She brought on everyone thinking is he is a joke by her own actions. She has no one to blame but herself for her terrible reputation.

  21. Marie says:

    @sapphire-I agree TMZ is ridiculous anymore. I don’t know if the Lohans pay them to keep them relevant or if Harvey just obsessed with her. They don’t have one story that have 50 of the same story spinning it a different way.

    Edit: by the way I don’t care for Miley either but I did lol at the video.

  22. Brittany says:

    If Lindsay doesn’t want to see herself made fun of then she needs to 1) stop making herself a punchline, and 2) stop watching tv.

  23. Louise says:

    Is there video of Lindsay leaving the store? They just keep showing her walking around, wearing the necklace. Since it’s in full view of the salesperson, I don’t see how they can claim theft if nobody tried to stop Lindsay.

  24. moopsie says:

    not a miley fan, but she rocked SNL, good for her

  25. Sammy says:

    Isn’t it a little weird that the store allowed here to try on this very expensive necklace, that they had to get out of a case, and yet just let her walk out the door without stopping her. I mean I dont want to defend her but that just seems like a little oversight on the stores part. I know when I go to even Walmart’s jewelery section and try on anything they watch me like a freaking hawk.

  26. skeptical says:

    @ Louise and Sammy…. you two must not work in retail.
    One of the top safety rules is NEVER CONFRONT A THIEF. Seriously. If a thief feels threatened he/she might lash out. I was taught this my first day on the job. If a thief lashes out you might not even get your medical bills paid if employer can argue that you provoked the thief.
    What’s even worse…if you touch or grab a thief’s arm, that thief can try to claim assault, and the thief might win. And you’d get fired.
    Now add how lindsay already has a history of violent temper tantrums. She threw a glass at her own girlfriend’s head, broke Samantha’s window, etc etc etc.
    That salesgirl acted like she follows the same safety rules I do at my work. Watch the thief and try to remember what was stolen, but do not confront. Let the cops and any cameras handle it.

  27. gg says:

    I just watched Miley on SNL and she was hilarious. She’s not a loser like somebody above said and cannot be compared to Lohan.

  28. CB Rawks says:

    Jesus christ, Sammy. *eyeroll*

  29. CB Rawks says:

    “I don’t see how they can claim theft if nobody tried to stop Lindsay.”

    Good GOD. I am gobsmacked at the mental illness here. It’s just willful ignorance on your part though, to make excuses for criminal acts. “They should’ve stopped her.” Stopped her from? STEALING? Did your parents never tell you it’s simply wrong to steal? Or did they say it’s everyone else’s fault for not stopping you? Does this extend to murder, too?
    I hope none of you psychos ever procreate. You can’t be reasoned with, because your brains aren’t fully formed.