Jennifer Aniston’s worst first date ever is documented by In Touch

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When one of us has a really bad first date or blind date or first blind date, we can go through it all privately, enjoying the slow, creeping horror when you realize that the person sitting across the table from you is creepy/douchey/gross/disgusting/rude/fug. But when Jennifer Aniston goes on a first date with a creeper, it gets splashed across In Touch Weekly. POOR JEN. But seriously, poor Jen. This guy sounds like a total douche, but the whole disaster takes on a comedic edge:

Jennifer Aniston’s love life has been a disaster lately, so she was excited for a blind date with a mystery man on March 9. However, things quickly went downhill when her would-be suitor insisted on dredging up her painful past.

“He kept asking questions about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie,” an eyewitness at West Hollywood’s Sunset Tower Hotel tells In Touch.

It was totally depressing for Jen, who has had a string of horrible dates and boyfriends since divorcing Brad in 2005. This time, an insider tells In Touch, friends convinced her to try a “non-Hollywood guy” – and she thought things would be different.

But the romantic rendezvous got off to a terrible start when her companion, an entertainment lawyer, didn’t even wait for Jen to show up before ordering.

“It was supposed to be just drinks, but he ordered a full meal,” says the eyewitness. Then, after subjecting her to a battery of questions about Brad and Angie, “when the bill came, he wanted to know if they should split it!” says the shocked onlooker.

At that point, a humiliated Jen had had enough. “She paid the entire bill and left!”

Adds an insider, “we all want Jennifer to find a nice guy she can date.” Sadly, that’s proving easier said than done.

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

After that, In Touch prints Aniston’s “Dating Rules”, which probably deserve their own post. They include:

*No sex on a first date.
*No excessive tweeting.
*He must not watch lame dating shows.
*Don’t kiss and tell – like John Mayer.
*Never bring up an ex and their new lover.
*A gentleman always picks up the check!

Maybe if she doesn’t want men to bring up their exes or her exes, she should follow that rule as well? No more mentions of Brad or Angelina ever again? Who am I kidding?

Just to play devil’s advocate, let’s just look at it for a moment from the guy’s perspective. He’s a lawyer, he’s probably been in meetings and negotiations and calls all day. He gets set up with Aniston, who he’s only read about, or heard about from whatever mutual friends they have in common. He gets to the restaurant early – and he even let her choose the place, I know because Aniston always takes her dates to the Sunset Tower. He’s hungry, so he orders food. Aniston keeps him waiting – she needed liquid courage and a blowout, so she’s late. She finally shows up, tipsy. He’s impressed with her figure, and after they’re exhausted the subjects Aniston feels comfortable with (exercise), they don’t have anything else to talk about. So the guy, just trying to fill the void because he‘s so bored, asks some gossipy questions about Brangelina. Now he’s just trying to piss her off to see if he can get her to walk out. You get the idea.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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67 Responses to “Jennifer Aniston’s worst first date ever is documented by In Touch”

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  1. lucy2 says:

    Was someone eavesdropping the whole time? Because otherwise I don’t see how anyone would know what they discussed or didn’t.

  2. truthSF says:

    I like your theory much better than InTouch’s bullsh*t story.

  3. Harley says:

    I’ve had dates like that. Ugh.

    The first and second pics are hysterical. She looks great in the last pic. Who’s the dude in the middle shot?

  4. DenG says:

    She put up with that? Can’t believe she’s that much of a dorrmat. This has got to be fiction. But she sure is “humiliated” a lot in all these stories. Glutton for punishment?

  5. Anastasia says:

    Well, what WOULD you talk with her about? She’s as exciting as beige paint drying on a wall.

  6. Trace says:

    haha, good analysis on the guy’s take on things, Kaiser!

  7. sandy says:

    didn’t you know this jealous hag was going to reappear?, now this is what a real fame seeker does, perfumes, smart water, dumb movies, etc, after all the Jolie-Pitt noise, this is so her m.o., but she is so forgettable, she has no choice but to fame whore her way back into the spot light, try and be more interesting, at least we might care, shallow one. ugh!! can’t stand her, it wasn’t him talking about brad, it was her, after all, who or where would she be, had it not been for brad? that’s why she can’t stop reminding us of it.

  8. lisa says:

    I don’t get it. It is not like her divorce happened yesterday or a year ago or 2, or 3, or 4 or 5 or.. well.

    nor is it like she has not been with other men since.. Vince, Mayer and seriously the woman is 42 years old. not a nun.. She has been with someone since Mayer.

    but why is it that all these other women can date and go out and have fun. Why is the perception about her that she is some kind of virgin waiting for Mr. Right. This is 2011. Women can enjoy a healthy sexual relationship without any stings.

    I don’t understand her whole situation. If she wants the way she is seen to change then do like Kate H, or Cameron or Drew or Halle.. Own your life and to hell with what people think. She has never done that to me. Always seems to want to be the woman the “mini van” sees her as. And judging by her friends or some of the things she has said that is not who she is.

    If that story is true and I doubt it.. did they have a recorder at the table. Then why not tell him to go to hell and leave. I sure as heck would have.

  9. Hollowdoll says:

    Is that someones but crack in the 2nd to last shot? What am I looking at?

  10. Mrs.Krabapple says:

    THAT was her “worst date ever”? The guy sounds like a jerk, and if I were in her shoes I would have found a reason to leave early. But really, in the big scheme of life, there are much worse dates than a guy who’s a boor and wonders whether you’ll split the check with him. What a non-story. I was hoping for something more juicy.

  11. Kaye1 says:

    This sounds totally made up.

  12. Rita says:

    This is why it’s a bad idea to date gerbils, especially blind ones.

  13. Ell says:

    Ridiculous story. I’m with lucy2, how on earth could someone be eavedropping on the whole date.

  14. Flotus says:

    Such total BS! All of it..

  15. Reality says:

    Sounds like fiction. The inclusion of Sunset Towers is just because they’re trying to legitimize an obviously made-up story, and everyone knows she’s gone there a few times.

  16. Elfie says:

    I think there shouldnt be any tweeting, at all..

  17. mln76 says:

    This is just such a funny bitchy story… But I don’t believe a single word of it.

  18. DetRiotgirl says:

    I really don’t understand the obsession some people with have with this woman. I don’t fully get the obsession with Angelina and Brad either. But, at least with Brad and Angie we get exotic backdrops for their made up stories. With Aniston we just get a live action version of a Cathy comic strip. *yawn*

  19. Jenny says:

    This story is so ridiculous, that it is truly funny. She cannot possibly be that insecure that she would take that kind of nonesense. I give her her more credit than that and I don’t even like her. But, I also think it is funny that folks believe the same kind of completely silly story about eavesdropping with Penn and Johanssen, but don’t believe this one. Both seem far fetched to me.

  20. tpass says:

    Gosssipcop already checked and found out that the story was completely made up.

  21. skibunny says:

    I like her hair better long.

  22. Whitey Fisk says:

    I must admit I am digging her new hair. The color and cut are just different enough to make her slightly less boring. The cut alone wouldn’t have been enough of a change. Nice work, hair person.

  23. someone says:

    I don’t believe this story, unless there was someone standing next to the table the whole time, writing down all that was being said..

  24. Deeta says:

    BS story and BS article. She is a succesful entertainer – why do people continue to paint her as a desperate woman? I just dont get it.

  25. Louise says:

    It’s obviously madeup. Jennifer is always photographed at Sunset Towers. If she was there than everybody would know. Also nobody can hear the entire conversation of an hour or two date. Maybe some words here and there but come on. I find these “poor, pity me” stories worst than the Brad/Angelina breakup stories. Although Jennifer keeps saying she can’t wait to remarry and have kids, it’s obvious based on her personal life that’s far from the truth.

  26. scarlet says:

    Stupid story by desperate stupid tabloids.

  27. truetalk says:

    mags needs to be sold so,yes,there’ll always be stupid stories like this.
    do they pay their writers to dream up these nonsense?

  28. Isa says:

    I had a terrible date once. He became very drunk, I took him home and he farted in my car!

    But Anistons date also sounds terrible……

  29. Whatever says:

    Another vote for this is a bs story.

  30. Kim says:

    Sounds like a fairy tale – all made up. Who had the bionic ear to know he was asking about Brangelina and that he asked if they should split the check? silly story

  31. Cheyenne says:

    Why in HELL does In Touch insist on fabricating total bullshit? Are they that desperate to sell their shit rag? Is their bottom line really that bad? (I sure hope it is.)

  32. sandy says:

    she may or may not be a successful entertainer? again, thanks to brad! but if you will check, this story has nothing to do with anything that is true, but to get people talking about her, to me? that’s desperate, if you are so successful as you claim she is, why do her team,(yes, her team-with her permission,-yes!) have to continue down the same boring path to get attention, after planting it, claim it’s untrue, it’s a game most celebs play, but some are more obvious.

  33. Majosha says:

    @Isa: I once had a date fart in my car, too! I realize these things happen, but he didn’t even say “excuse me” or anything like that — just kept on yapping like nothing happened. And this was our first date, so it wasn’t like we were comfy enough with each other to fart openly without saying something like, “whoops, that kind of slipped out, sorry.” And later on, he asked me if I wanted to “make out.” Classy.

  34. nnn says:

    All the tabloids should be burned !

    Since they are into fantasy more than reality, they better write an Harlequin book featuring Jen’s fabritaced stories instead of writting those same BS in tabs, selling them like they are real facts.

  35. Becky says:

    This story seems like total BS. It really plays into the whole “poor, sad Jennifer Aniston” narrative that the tabloids perpetuate. I don’t get it. Yeah, she shouldn’t have talked publicly about the break-up with Brad but she hasn’t said anything about it for a long time now (at least not that I’ve heard of, anyway). Whether or not you find her talented, she’s had a long career in a tough industry. She’s wealthy, attractive and seems to have plenty of friends-I don’t get the “poor Jennifer” thing. It’s boring and feels false.

  36. Kat says:

    I’m sure I’m in the minority here, but I am not okay with not splitting the check. I cannot allow a guy to pay for dinner.

  37. Lee says:

    I agree with Kat (above), if the guy is a creep, I will gladly pay for my own dinner. That way I don’t owe him ANYTHNG…..Poor Jen…I really hope she finds a nice guy who is not in the Hollywood scene.

  38. Cat says:

    IDK, I could see someone over hearing a whole conversation. My hubs did. We bought a home a few years back & he wound up going to lunch & sitting next to the woman we bought the house from a few days before signing. He didn’t know who she was though. He came home & told me about how loud she was & she was telling her friend all this stuff about the troubles she was having w/her soon to be ex & that she was selling her dream home so low she having to bring $ to closing, etc. He didn’t hear everything, but the bits & pieces he did catch sounded like the woman we were buying from.

    When we got to closing that Monday he totally recognized her as the woman from the restaurant.

    People over hear conversations all the time; not really uncommon. Besides, people are always divulging information on celebs. It could very well had been any old Tom, Dick or Harry sitting along side them…a wealthy Tom, Dick or Harry more than likely. People are gossipy. That’s why we’re here. ;)

  39. John Wayne Lives says:

    @ Anastacia & Detriotgirl. Cosign! (Tehe she’s totally Cathy)
    I agree with the devils advocate theory personally. She’s a rich, pretty, famous movie star, but personally, as a woman and potential mate, I just don’t think she’s that great of a catch.
    Its not to hard to imagine her as the “love me! Love me pleeeease!” type, and some guy being totally turned off by her.
    My opinion of her totally changed with pics of her and Mayer. I don’t remember exactly… I think they were on a vacay in Mexico, but it was pics of them in a pool, and she was totally just hanging all over his back, and I swear he just looked annoyed. The body language was pathetic. And telling. And she just came across as so…cringeworthy, I guess.
    But I think this story is fake.

  40. Kiska says:

    I’ve had plenty of bad dates. My Mom says I should write a book because some of the men I met were real characters.

  41. alexandra says:

    Why? why put herself thru that. If I were her I would bang every beautiful model Brad Pitt look alike, non look alike. She is beautiful and rich why not have fun instead of waiting for mister right instead of mister dissapointment. Get it out of your system by doing every beautiful man she can get her hands on. And then focus on substance. If I had her money I would go hot dong crazy. Oh well that is just me

  42. Stella says:

    Dis may or not be true but jeny got 2 chose her life, its not also bad for a woman 2 pay 4 d check

  43. tracking says:

    Good for her for managing to stay under the radar. This story is obviously nonsense, but then again most of them are.

  44. Newbie says:

    I like the fact that the onlooker, who witnessed the barrage of questions, was also very informed of how the date was supposed to go, ie “it was only supposed to be drinks”. But then again, when I see couples out for the first time I’m usually the same way. “Your creole soup was supposed to contain shrimp”. “WTF are you doing? You were supposed to start the second course at 7:30″. And of course, “You wanted a mojito. Stop with the Sam-Adams-I’m-so-straight-if-I-were-an-arrow-I-could-fly-to-china act. Order your mojito and come out already”.
    But…is this not how onlookers are supposed to behave???

  45. Newbie says:

    I don’t get the whole “mini-van majority” thing. Ms. Aniston is “trying to appeal to the mini-van majority”? I could be wrong, but doesn’t the mini-van majority elude to middle-class working soccer moms with multiple kids? Thus, the “van”? She’s about as far away from that image is they come. How can she appeal to them if she’s single and spends most of her nights drinking margaritas and wearing mini-skirts? Can someone explain this to me? I don’t mean to be a smart-ass (at least in THIS post! Hahahaha!), I just really don’t get it.

  46. well, if the guy was not impressed by a date with Aniston in the first place (so that he arrived there hungry and unwilling to wait for her) – why did he even agree? HE is the douche even if she made her mistakes as well.

  47. Zelda says:

    I have to say–if she did go on a horrible blind date and then pick up the entire cheque, that’s pretty badass. Almost like a “Look what a loser you are, and look how much cooler than you I am” type-move.
    If she did do that, she’s not quite as bland as I thought.

  48. Micki says:

    I’d like to read for a change about her very best date as it seems she has only floped ones.
    But what would one ask her on a (imaginary)blind date? I can’t connect other topics with her than:her “revenge” body, how she’s fine after divorce, Mexico holidays and wanting babies someday…do I miss someting?Oh, yes planning a some changes in her life that haven’t happened yet…

  49. Predictor says:

    Nowadays it seems a bad date is all to normal! Maybe we can blame this on internet dating and their perfect chemistry tools. /joke

  50. wunderkindt says:

    Well she got what she deserved, dating an entertainment lawyer! Shoulda known better.

  51. guesty says:

    The devil’s advocate theory is hysterical & probably spot on!

  52. John Wayne Lives says:

    @ Newbie, I think her whole “mini-van” appeal, or attempt at retaining that, is she has built her rep on “gosh, I’m such a nice, down home girl, and all I really want with my golden heart is to be a little wwife and mommy, and live happily ever after”. Isn’t that the unspoken ending to all her romcoms? Isn’t that the Ross & Rachel ending fans were screaming for? But that reality is pretty much gone forever now, so she has to keep bringing up her baby desires and dream life as though its still what she wants. I think it perpetuates that it was all stolen from her and she’ll never give up, so the minivan set keep pulling for her. I think she’s really just a SATC Samantha, but that doesn’t sell romcoms. At least not her kind. I’m still of the belief that Brad wanted a family, and she wanted a career, and that ultimately was the fissure that led to him walking away when he met someone who wanted the same thing, and was willing and eager to give it to him. Imho.
    Someone else posted that if it was really what she wanted, she would be living very differently, and I agree. Her actions don’t exactly scream “hey, I’m the one you want to be the mother of your children!” And at her age, step-mom is about all she can hope for now, and she’s not exactly the maternal type imho. I’ve always felt her saving grace id courtney cox.
    But whatever. Sorry for the long post.

  53. The Bobster says:

    Wow, that guy’s fugly! Is he rich or connected or something?

    And if that her worst first date, she’s lucky. I’ve had dozens that could top that.

  54. Ell says:

    All these theories about Jennifer Aniston and her life make me smile. Surely it would follow that if Jen was such a horror then it doesn’t say much for Brad, loving her and spending 7 years of his life with her. At this point she’s the only woman he’s married. I’m not on any team, just ‘playing devil’s advocate’.

  55. Melanie says:

    @ Bobster: Hahaha, that is not her date that was her perfume launch. I think that guy asked to smell the perfume on.

  56. Cheyenne says:

    @Micki: I wonder the same thing. Her interests seem to be severely limited. Besides her hair, her body, and holidays in Mexico, what other topics can she talk intelligently about?

    @Ell: He spent five years married to her, but I think the marriage was effectively done after two.

  57. sandy says:

    not only did brad leave, but he improved his life tremendously, while Jen is still bed hopping from men to men, brad clearly had a dream and he fulfilled it, Jen career was her dream, look at her actions, they speak volumes, but if they are both happy!!! no worries, just stop with all the faking, Jen is too old for this.

  58. Ell says:

    @Cheyenne – I said Brad spent 7 years of his life with her…not 7 years married. You ‘think’ the marriage was over after 2 years, speculation again. Nobody, including myself knows the facts, only Brad and Jen.

    @Sandy – Jen hardly bed hops. She had several relationships, that’s what many people do when they’re single unless they live in a convent.

    I find I’m defending her again, I think its because there’s such an onslaught on these threads, no balance or fairness. People basing their opinions on speculation not fact.

  59. Anon says:

    I have no idea why anyone entertains that In Touch Weekly could possibly have the scoop on such things, and believes that this story could possibly be true. Jennifer has recently said that she doesn’t allow her friends to set her up much at all, and she has previously said in interviews that when she was once introduced to a dud guy she excused herself from the situation immediately – she’s a successful famous woman, why anyone would think she would stay through a terrible date like ITW describes I have no idea…other than that haters love to believe any story that paints her in a bad or pathetic light.

    Besides her reps already denying this story, there is no way possible for it to be true given the date ITW claims this “date” occurred – March 9th. Jennifer arrived in Mexico City for her perfume launch appearance there on March 10th the evening of March 9th – per multiple reports from Mexican media outlets, including this one that shows a candid pic of her arrival:

    http://www.terra.com.mx/entretenimiento/articulo/1063040/Jennifer+Aniston+arriba+discretamente+al+Distrito+Federal.htm

    Like her or not, she is someone that the tabloids know sells mags – per media sales sites she gave a couple of legit mags as well as tabs their best selling covers of 2010. Her people don’t need to plant such stories to give her press – she gets enough of that for her legit actions and the tabs are just trying to find anything to write about her in order to include her in their editions. Why anyone would think such a story would be a good idea for her people to put out there PR-wise is also beyond me – it does absolutely nothing to paint her in anything but a pathetic light.

  60. Cheyenne says:

    @Anon: ITA and have often wondered why in the world doesn’t she fire her publicist for letting all these ridiculous stories be printed about her. But this is H’wood where bad publicity is better than no publicity at all.

  61. CoffeeTalk says:

    I don’t see why her having fans is such an affront to some people on these boards. What difference does it make who her fans are?

    Some of you act like being a mom with a minivan is somehow negative or pathetic.

  62. Anon says:

    @Cheyenne: What would firing her publicist do to stop tabloids from printing ridiculous stories about her? It’s not like she alone is the only celeb to have this occur to her. And it’s not like her publicist “lets” them publish lies – what is he/she supposed to do? What would a different publicist be able to do that would change things?

    Being that she is a public figure and we are talking about tabloid press, they are allowed to print whatever they like – true or not, fact-checked or not, as proved by the Mexican report I linked to showing Jennifer in another country on the same evening ITW claims she had this horrible blind date. If I can quickly find proof to show the story to be false, then how come someone at ITW couldn’t as well? The reason – because they didn’t want to as they know they are printing lies, but they do so because they know the story about her will attract attention, advertisers and sell mags.

    If she sued every tabloid that printed crap about her she would be constantly in court, and all it would serve to do is bring more press to the original stories anyway. As seen by Beckham’s suit – there isn’t much clelebs in the US can do to stop the tabloids – the law isn’t on their side. All they can do is deny the lies once made aware of them and hope people are smart enough to be able to realize that everything they read isn’t necessarily true – particularly when tabloids are the source.

  63. Camille says:

    @Ell 57#: JA may be the only woman he has married (so far..), but he’s only had kids with one woman as well and I do believe that that wasn’t Jennifer? ;)
    IMO having children with someone is a much bigger lifelong commitment than having a childless relationship that can be done and dusted with a divorce.

    Just saying. :)

    @John Wayne Lives 55#: Excellent comment! ITA. :D

  64. loopygorilla says:

    banging body, nice work on that nose, rich bitch.

    but why is she still single???