It’s the time of year that all young starlets prize over all others; that is, the moment when the Maxim 2011 Hot 100 List reveals itself to the world. As is customary, the annual list contains many of the same swimsuit and lingerie models that I’m not terribly familiar with, but a few names seemed rather surprising. Paz de la Huerta, drunken, violent mess, came screaming in at #84 with a smear of dark lipstick, and Taylor Swift took #20, which is strange because Swifty is certainly pretty but not, you know, hot. Jake Gyllenhaal will be thrilled, I’m sure.
Other highlights include the following ladies: #69: Emma Watson (which shall provide another convenient taking a break from college excuse); #64: Miley Cyrus (if only because she’s barely legal); #61: Eva Amurri (Susan Sarandon’s daughter); #58: Christina Aguilera (naturally, Maxim used a very old photo); #56: Christina Hendricks (who should’ve at least made the 20s); #54: Vanessa Hudgens (validation, finally!); #42: Emma Stone; #38: Lindsay Lohan (no comment); #36: Brooklyn Decker (her likely response? “Duh.”); #35: Kim Kardashian; #31: Evan Rachel Wood; #30: Sofia Vergara; #28: Lea Michelle (not if her stylists have anything to do with it); #26: Kate Middleton; #25: Britney Spears (minus a few hot dergs); #22: Rihanna; #21: Jessica Alba (yawn); #17: Megan Fox (she was #2 in 2009 and #4 in 2010); #15: Olivia Wilde; #14: Scarlett Johansson (who wastes it by dating crusty old Sean Penn); #12: January Jones; #10: Jennifer Lawrence; #8: Natalie Portman (bitchface extraordinaire); #7: Anne Hathaway; #6: Bar Refaeli; #5: Mila Kunis; #4: Cameron Diaz; #3: Katy Perry; #2: Olivia Munn; and finally, #1: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (a.k.a. “Megan Fox 2.0).
Conspicuously missing from the list? Miranda Kerr (truly a surprise considering her Victoria’s Secret popularity), Gwyneth Paltrow (the curse of the Goop finally kicks in) and Taylor Momsen (probably because she’s still underage).
Yes, Maxim is merely a lad mag, but this list of ladies is rather underwhelming, isn’t it? Several of them have seen much better days, several of them are alcoholic messes, and a good number of them merely feel like obligatory token additions. You can read the full list at Maxim.
Photos courtesy of Juan Rico/Fame Pictures
Completely underwhelming list. In what decade are these men living when Cam Diaz comes in at #4? And when did ScarJo break her ankle?
I swear, I dont think Ive ever seen Scarlett Johansson look so fug than in that picture above. Seriously – she looks like a linebacker.
And I almost always like how she looks.
Yikes. I think 14 year old boys must be making this list. Olivia Munn #2? And anything that includes Paz and Linnocent is instantly dismissed as nonsense.
On a side note, I love that green dress Scarlett is wearing.
I think RHW is hot, and it’s OK to put her on first place… BUT TAYLOR SWIFT, CAMERON DIAZ, KIM K. …… ???
This is one stupid list 😉
Who is on the panel of judges besides Quentin Tarentino and Sean Penn?
what’s wrong with that woman’s face (first pic) is that actual wax on her face?
And that last pic where’s that leg going leave the other (EVIL LEG HAS A MIND OF IT’S OWN LOL)
Brin I agree with you…LOL
crazy hollywood, crazy list.
I think the top 10 are probably jsut all women they can get to pose next to naked in their magazine.. I’m sure if you poled men on the street who they lust after the most Oilivia Munn and Cameron Diaz are not in the top 10.
I will say all the guys I know think Katy Perry is hot..annoying but hot
Honestly these blah or blah headlines are getting a bit tedious
What is up with scarletts leg in the last pic
Paz La Huerta looks exactly like a bad wax figure of Juliette Lewis, stoned.
The first woman looks like an ugly wax figure!
Yuck!
I think I threw up a little…
What the fuck is going on with ScarJo’s left leg??!! Is that angle even humanly possible? I can’t be the only onw who noticed that o_O
They could not have found an older picture of Christina Aguilera. They might as well have put a picture of her as a mousketeer.
LOL all the bitching is getting annoying. I mean seriously, they’re all hot in different ways it’s not just physical… well some of them but some of them in different ways. well at least for me.
What is wrong with Johanssen’s leg? She looks like a Barbie doll that the owner got angry with and twisted it inwards. Very odd pose. Not impressed with this list at all.
Considering who made the list, it has to be some weird methodology used.
JWoww #78
Miley Cyrus #64
Vanessa (tat-ta, vag showing)Hudgens #54 not 42
Lindsay (crack-whore)Lohan #38 not 36
Kim (OMFG-Katface-attention-grabber) Kardashian #35 not 31
Goopy didn’t even make the cut (bahahaha)
I am shocked that Snookie wasn’t there consider Paz made the list…lol
JLo did not even make the list, considering she was dubbed the sexiest female…ha ha
I know that standing pigeon-toed supposedly flatters, but Scarjo looks ridiculous in that pic, like her leg is bolted on wrong.
Seriously??!! Paz? She is so fugly!!!
Olivia Munn is number 2?
wtf.
I guess they all payed someone to be in the list.
Men are from mars.
Olivia Munn is #2? Uh, okay…
Okay maxim is a officially a joke; those pics are awful – Rosie looks like a moron; Megafarse is her typical brainless plastic self; and Swifty is hot only for the playground set – mags like Maxim could’ve been good, but they(it) have just become water carriers for our pedestrian pop culture.
whoa whoa whoa, according to this list…Lea Michele…is HOTTER…than Sofia Vegara!?!??!!? I can’t even…..no.
They are just listing the women who are making the biggest headlines of the year in the entertainment industry. Paz has done some steamy sex scenes so that is why she is on the list. Same with Eva Amurri who did nude scenes in Californication. Paz and Lea Michele aren’t on this list for their faces, that’s for sure. Really, does anyone think most men out there would choose to be with Paz or Lea Michele over Christina Hendricks or Sofia Vergara? So why are they ahead on the list?
Oh boy. You know what, I’m a heterosexual girl and I don’t consider Paz pretty at all, but if I had the chance, I’d totally have some stinky raunchy violent disgusting sex with her. I don’t know what’s her charm, she’s such a mess, an ugly, hot mess but she has me by the she-balls.
I can’t stop looking at Scarlett Johanson’s foot. I don’t think I have ever seen anything like it.
some of them look like cheesecake for necrophiliacs.
maybe maxim’s definition of “hot” = women who will lie still?
as for paz, she absolutely looks like an ad for “date me and you will eventually become morally and fiscally bankrupt.”
really, maxim? cameron looks like an old catcher’s mitt, paz looks like she is made of wax and melting, olivia munn is boring as hell, and katy perry looks like a damn blow-up doll. and in what universe is lea michelle hotter than sofia vargara?!
What surprises me is that so many women don’t understand what men Maxim age want in women. They don’t want perfect pretty nice women with crossed legs and appropriate hair and nails. They want the hot bod chicks with ok faces that look like they are either a) naughty b) a little crazy (dangerous) c) kinky in bed, or preferably, all three.
…yeah, I doubt a single man or woman in the world actually prefers these women in this order. The list has very little to do with actual physical appeal.
All the girls are fugly on this list
Paz de la Huerta is hot only in the sense of temperature, since she always looks sweaty and very much like she smells.
Snow White & Rose Red
Swifty has diamonds and pearls falling from her lips,and Paz is dripping snakes and toads.
I love me some Paz, ever since watching Boardwalk Empire I can’t hate on her anymore.
Ouch. What a terrible list. I’m glad to be dickless with that kind of an inventory. Although, I’d be all over Kunis. She should have been number one. That Rosie chick has a shovel face just like JT.
Why the hell is Paz De La Huerta so shiny in every picture?
I was watching Gangs of New York the other night, which Cameron Diaz is in, she is so beautiful in that movie, but the sun has aged her dramatically.
I also think men don’t have the same standards women do on attractiveness. Women critique everything as a whole, while most men are basing the levels of hotness on hips, lips, tits and ass, who cares about the crazy eyes and wonk boobs, as long as they are there, it works!
Paz? You are kidding me!
Blake Lively is not on this list lol
Plain jane Olivia Munn at #2? Puhleeez!
Whose d!ck did she have to suck over at Maxim? A blind mans?????
I think Leighton Meester needs to be in the top 10
Doesn’t Maxim do their list by who is googled the most? I am going with that theory because there is no freaking way that Paz, Lindsay, Taylor should be on the list at all or ever. Jesus my blind saint bernard could pick a better list.
How the fuck do they explain putting Olivia Munn in the top #70, let alone at #2?!?
I personally think that’s a horrible picture of Cameron Diaz, too x_x Something about that dress makes her body look too masculine. And Paz De La Huerta.. I’m sorry, I don’t find the woman the least bit attractive.
God… That’s a shame. x_x
What, Aniston isn’t on this list?? I thought she was the hottest thing ever over 40?? 😮
No Angelina Jolie in the top 100? This list is a joke. If I find the time I’ll come up with a better top ten that has no one from this list in it.
Scarlett, quit pointing your toes in! sheese, she’s getting worse! Also why in hell is Paz always sweaty and greasy, and what is up with the horrible hair?
Paz de la Huerta? Seriously. Proof that masturbation does cause blindness.
Dear god.
Whos the brilliant idiots who make this list? seriously.
*shrug* seems pretty predictable to me. I love that Hathaway is in the top ten, though. I think she’s beautiful and she never seems to get credit.
Logan?!! Wtf. Number 1 should’ve been Sofia vergera
I find katy perry completely asexual.
OLIVIA MUNN?!!!!!?!?1/1 WHAT.
I usually find ScarJo beautiful, but she looks awful in that pic!! Maybe it’s the hair? The new Transformers chick has a face like a damn pug. And that Paz beast is truly frickin’ terrifying.
Obviously, their PR teams paid to have them on this “list”. Look at these pics, all Botox, all plastic. What happened to natural beauty?
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