Gwyneth Paltrow goes topless, wears fishnets for Vanity Fair: Goopy or cute?

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Fishsticks in fishnets! Sorry, I just had to jack Michael K’s moniker for Dame Gwyneth Paltrow. This fishy fishnets photo is from Vanity Fair’s “jewelry supplement” for the August issue – the one with Emma Stone on the cover, with Emma making fun of Goopy’s BFF and business partner Tracy Anderson! That alone is delicious, but this photo kind of makes my day too – look how slim Goopy is! Look how she doesn’t have any peasanty stretch marks or any peasanty flaws! I’m not even sure if we’re actually looking at her fishnet-covered biscuit… is she wearing a thong? I can’t tell. But the best part about the shot is the look of veiled contempt on Goopy’s face. She’s all “Fine. I’ll show you how hot I am, because I know you need an aspirational goal. Fatties.” All of the jewelry that she’s wearing is Louis Vuitton, by the way. Just like she wore at the Oscars this year (and she got paid handsomely for it).

Meanwhile, Gwyneth just released this week’s Goop-letter, and it’s a decent one. This week, Goop talks about “stress”. You know, the stress of having to use your outdoor, wood-burning oven to cook cavier-and-gold-crusted chicken for Paul McCartney and Vladimir Putin. But Goop has a solution – meditation!

I have never been very good at handling stress (though a bit of meditation helps), and I wanted some very practical ways of reducing it that I could use during the course of my day. I got some good answers that don’t require a 90 minute yoga class, or flying to a hippie style silent retreat (I’ve actually done one—don’t ask), just simple things that we all have access to. Here they are!

Love,
gp

[From GOOP]

You can read the whole thing here – I just skimmed it. Some of the advice is straightforward – a hot bath, a glass of wine, acupuncture, etc. Meh.

Here are some recent pics of Gwyneth out to dinner with the guy who runs Topshop. Now people think that she’s going to be starting her own Topshop Goop line. Why not?

UPDATE: Ah, so the guy in the photo isn’t Sir Philip Green. But the photos are still from the same evening where she did dine with Green.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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84 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow goes topless, wears fishnets for Vanity Fair: Goopy or cute?”

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  1. Quest says:

    For crying out loud: eat some fn snickers already

  2. ladybert62 says:

    Wonder what her husband thinks about her nudie picture? Got to admit she looks good – though I could do without the finger in the mouth!

  3. Julie says:

    I think her face is air brushed or photo shopped because she looks older (no fat in face problem) and skin not as fresh.

  4. luls says:

    ya’ll have got to admit she looks FANTASTICLY FIT for her age. Im in my early 20s and she can put me to shame.

  5. Rose says:

    She’s definitely single, or as good as just not in writing. I thought exactly the same thing when I saw Christina Aguilera’s Bionic album artwork: ‘wow, her husband’s cool with that?!’ – 3 months later=divorce. I thought the same thing when Goopy wore that DISGUSTING white dress, that backless/sideless/knickerless thing with the dental floss holding it together.
    GP is losing it faster and faster by the day! Ick

  6. Kaboom says:

    Love her or hate her but she’s in great shape.

  7. mln76 says:

    Have to admit she looks really good. I guess all that starvation I mean ‘fasting’ is paying off. Oh and I love that she is willing to go topless and it’s not even a cover of the mag.

  8. gloaming says:

    Begrudgingly I think she looks good here.

    BTW that isn’t Phillip Green but he’s a right Munter so you should keep the photo you’re using.

  9. Missfit says:

    Well she was full of shit on Shallow Hal, now wasn’t she? HA HA. They picked the wrong actress. When the message was supposed to be it’s not all about looks, but how beautiful a person is inside. This broad doesn’t fit the ticket.

  10. Rita says:

    Don’t care about the nudity, it’s just there. She’s very pretty and well made in her fishnets. Her marriage seems like a hollow conk shell of a relationship. She appeared much more affectionate with Beyonce’s Jay Z than she ever has with her husband.

    (Note to Beyonce: Check the fish and chips. Keep your friends close but lonely women even closer) (I doubt Beyonce cares for my advice but there it is)

  11. TrixC says:

    If I had millions of dollars and servants at my beck and call I’m sure I would find it really stressful too.

  12. original kate says:

    does goop realize that not everyone has “access” to acupuncture? lots of insurance won’t cover it and it is pricey. my acupuncturist charges over $100/session. this is not the first time dame fishsticks has mentioned the silent retreat, and she always does the “don’t ask!”, which of course means she thinks it’s way cool and wants everyone to know about it. ugh. i will say goop looks great here, but she is also photoshopped into oblivion.

  13. Gina says:

    1) Seems desperate and needy.

    2) Love to see the unshopped version. Consider how good we might all look if we had her silver-spoon-in-her-mouth-background, money, trainers, chefs, fawning sycophants, botox, and Photoshop.

    3) The only way this helps anyone lose weight is from vomiting from disgust that another celebrity wants to show us how ageless they look and, of course, it’s all due to “just plain old healthy exercise and diet” never plastic surgery, eating disorders, drugs or $1000/day trainers. Gag.

  14. Riana says:

    I’m basically looking at a 12 yr old boy’s body.

  15. Vanessa says:

    ew

    cannot get past her personality and arrogance to compliment her figure

  16. mln76 says:

    @original kate some insurance does cover acupuncture for certain diagnosis. Also depending where you are there are some that do ‘community acupuncture’ that is more like what they do in China. Which costs less because you are in a group setting.

  17. spinner says:

    She really does look wonderful.

  18. tapioca says:

    a). Her body looks great, but that’s only a size you can aspire to if you’re naturally thin and have access to Photoshop.

    b). She looks really uncomfortable.

    c). I barely noticed the jewellery so it’s not a great ad for LV!

  19. jocular says:

    That isn’t Philip Green… Did she meet him?

  20. S says:

    she looks like she gained a bit of weight… *cough*…not. If she is really that skinny, no photoshop added, how does she do this without starving?

  21. The Bobster says:

    Even when clothed, Goopy is topless.

  22. islandwalker says:

    She looks good ( a bit thin for my taste) but there is something very asexual about her. She comes across as very sterile and the antithesis of sensual. I can’t explain why.

  23. nan says:

    She’s georgeous just like her mom. They would have passed for twins if they were the same age.

  24. ZenB!tch says:

    At least she is holding up her droopy boobs. Think back to some Oscar disasters. Her abs have always been her good part. Maybe she is finally learning.

    She looks good in that pose but wtf is up with her hair in the clothed pics?

  25. Cheyenne says:

    She looks damn good for her age after having two kids.

  26. tanya says:

    She’s clearly in great shape, but this whole thing reeks of desperation.

    I agree with @islandwalker, she seems devoid of any sexuality.

  27. Lala11_7 says:

    Will NEVA understand the “Goop hate”…like her site…have always liked her…

    Love the pic…she should wear her hair up more…great neck…and it showcases her eyes more…

  28. Novaraen says:

    Desperate to be attractive…yeah, she’s getting a divorce.

  29. Elizabeth says:

    @ tapioca – “her body looks great, but that’s only a size you can aspire to if you’re naturally thin and have access to Photoshop” – wickedly funny, darling! I also didn’t notice jewels until 3rd look.

    @ islandwalker – “something very asexual about her … comes across as very sterile … antithesis of sensual”

    Good analogy for the state of her marriage – no matter how good she looks, Chris won’t go near her. Pretty sad really.

  30. Audrey says:

    @ Gina – exactly. Also, she is just too old to be trying to look so “shy” and “oh my gosh”. Don’t like her at all.

  31. pnwperson says:

    tsk tsk

    so sad when a woman is trying to prove “she still has it”

    props to the hand behind the mouse in the air brushing department

  32. Bill Hicks is God says:

    Fishsticks in fishnets, oh the irony!

  33. original kate says:

    “some insurance does cover acupuncture for certain diagnosis.”

    @ mln: yes, i know. i said not everyone’s insurance covers acupuncture, which implies that some do.

  34. lrm says:

    @originalkate and others….
    Community Acupuncture clinics are available in so many places now….They were started in portland, OR by someone as ‘working class acupuncture’=
    you sit in a recliner with others doing the same; treatments are always sliding scale, anywhere from 5 to 50 dollars, depending on the clinic and location-they decide.
    The most common rates that i have seen are somewhere between 15 and 40, and I live in southern california! So it’s very cheap….you should google ‘community acupuncture network’ for a nationwide list of clinics participating. And also google the topic with your city name after it….

    Other option: If you live in a metro area, there is probably an oriental medicine college [this is what it's called-the degree is a medical 4 yr program, resulting in an M.S. in OM], and they always have GREAT clinics-low cost and you see senior students under supervision of instructors.
    The quality of care is usually excellent, and you get the benefit of multiple approaches/insights, with students and faculty there. These rates are anywhere from 20 to 40 dollars, and they will often work w/you if you cannot afford that.

    Many acupuncturists for straight up private visits, full rate, that I have seen only charge 5o to 60, which I admit is alot for me and many others, as well…[my husband only charges 60, and charged 40 for his community clinic], but when yo uthink what you would otherwise spend 50 bucks on-pants, a skirt, a meal or movie out-you have to decide what’s important, at least on that particular ocassion…..
    Sure, a new skirt can be de-stressing, but you can always go out to dinner or buy a skirt at a later date.

    Honestly, acupuncture is one of the best investments you can make-not only de-stressing, but preventative, as well….and they will always treat everything you have going on, not just the stress. So you get your sore back or knee or tight neck or sinus infection treated, along with the stress or insomnia….it’s a 2 for 1, really!

    I hope this info is helpful to someone or anyone-but I could not go without sharing the community acupuncture-such a great service out there that is designed specifically to make acu affordable.

    Goopy should have consulted with me! lol

  35. Amanda says:

    Sorry, but she’s like the chick on th Bachelorette– just NOTHING sexy about either one of them.

  36. phlyfiremama says:

    I am a licensed Acupuncturist in the state of Texas. I feel qualified to speak on the matter. :) Acupuncture is tremendously successful for stress relief. It is commonly being used in disataster areas and for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sufferers, such as military veterans or rape victims. It is also very useful treating drug addiction, chronic pain issues, emotional issues, and almost any condition can be helped or cured using Acupuncture. It is endorsed by the World Health Organization, verified by numerous rigorous scientific studies with more pouring in on a daily basis, and has over 3000 years of clinical practice & experience to back it up. It works, and it doesn’t have to be expensive-check around. If you are interested in more information than the snippets you get here, you can use these links to get a better ides:
    http://www.orientalmedicine.com/home
    http://www.acupuncture.com/
    http://www.acuwithoutborders.org/index.html
    http://www.yinyanghouse.com/theory/auricular/nada_detox_protocol

  37. jover says:

    Interesting comment islandwalker – chicks in fishnets are cool – paris,kp,and others have recently done this – but goopy is not it; I do hope she continues appearing in glee; along with the announcement that the cast will be replaced after next season, her obtrusive appearances will help kill that show that once, long ago in a televsion world far away, had promise but has now completely lost it.

  38. Toe says:

    Her body is perfect. she looks like a 20 year old. Her face is the one that tells she’s older than 35.

  39. I think she’s beautiful, that’s it. She works hard for her body so why not show it off? Think she’s probably a good person as well. I just don’t get how people can be so mean about someone they don’t know. Doesn’t make sense to me.

  40. Me says:

    I think she looks great! Is she slender? Of course, that’s her natural physique coupled with proper eating and exercise. It smells really stinky around here when people are jealous of that or cant appreciate a shape different than their own.

  41. original kate says:

    @ irm – i live in seattle and bastyr college is here. before my insurance covered my acupuncture i used to go there and have students work on me, but for people who don’t live in areas where there is such a thing as community acupuncture it may be impossible to obtain. for some people it isn’t a choice of acupuncture vs. a new skirt, it’s a question of acupuncture vs. paying the phone bill. i agree, it is a great investment, but my original point was that it – along with many medical treatments- is not accesible for everyone, as goopy maintains.

  42. Hannah says:

    It looks like her (possible) jump-off has moved on from the vanilla ice princess to something with a little more flaver. Goopie creys!

    http://justjared.buzznet.com/2011/06/29/renee-puente-matthew-morrisons-new-girl/

  43. sapphire says:

    Would love to see the non-photoshopped verson. No doubt she looks great, but the little flaws and scars that anybody, even Goopy, aquires have been erased.

    Frankly, she’s over-exposed these days.

  44. whybenice says:

    I’m sure this picture will make her kids proud.

  45. Violet says:

    She looks good, but makes huge sacrifices to be that skinny.

    You too can look like that with some cosmetic work, but you also need to be prepared to starve yourself and exercise at least an hour and a half a day.

    She gets on my last nerve, but I’m starting to feel sorry for her. She’s such a compulsive perfectionist that I’m not surprised her husband can’t bear to spend much time with her.

  46. Violet says:

    Actually, I take that back — I don’t feel sorry for her. This is the woman that cheated on Brad Pitt, called her dead granny a c*nt on national television, and openly shames people about their weight.

    If she’s miserable — and I think she is — she deserves it.

  47. L says:

    1) It’s photoshop people.
    2) My first reaction was they actually had to put weight ON her body. There’s recent bikini pics of goop with her rib cage showing, and her back doesn’t match up with her waist. It’s kinda gross actually.

  48. yeahyeahyeah says:

    @Violet – Did she actually cheat on Pitt or is that just speculation?

  49. velourazure says:

    rich people with nothing to do SHOULD be in shape.

  50. kibbles says:

    Goopy is naturally skinny as many people here have already stated. She lucked out in the genes pool: tall and skinny like so many people aspire too. I am perfectly fine, however, with my size C breasts and curvy figure. Folks need to stop worshiping assholes like Goopy and come to terms with who they are as normal non-millionaires who might not have the same genes as someone borne to two tall and skinny people. She also starves herself and has had trips to the hospital because of her dieting. She is also rumored to have osteoporosis. And she may very well have/had stretch marks. If she does they were likely photoshopped or she went to a dermatologist to have them lasered. Her skin and hair look much, much worse in candid photos. That’s what happens when you are malnourished. Folks need to come to grips that not all skinny people are healthy and not all fat (non-obese) people are unhealthy. I will never compliment someone who is so ugly and judgmental on the inside.

  51. Joe Mahma says:

    She’s SO f’in’ hot. DEEEEAAAMMMMM!

  52. Bruce Johnathan Fick says:

    Gorgeous woman. Chu are waaaaaay too sexy main.

  53. Mika says:

    She looks great, but I’m not into the innocent, whoo meee? hand gestures. You’re not a blushing virgin, Gwyn, you’ve pooped out two kids, the jigg is up.

  54. Becky says:

    Can’t stand her! Arrogance personified!!

  55. Alexis says:

    You’re kidding me right? Of course she doesn’t have stretch marks. Anything like that gets airbrushed out! Maybe she’s fit, but she sure as hell doesn’t look like THAT.

    Please, ladies, wake the hell up. Comparing yourself to a Photoshopped image from a magazine is so warped, it is not even funny.

  56. Robbert says:

    I’ll leave my wife for her. She is gorgeous.

  57. Layzo says:

    She does have a very nice frame and this photo is the most flattering of her in a very long time.

    And it does also scream “Look at me” and despeately attention seeking. Perhaps she’s doing this to get any kind of attention from her husband.

    Because really, indifference is so much worse than hate-that would mean he actually gave two shits about her.

    Or it could mean they will be soon getting a divorce.

    As for stretch marks. I have them. I proudly wear them as a honor badge for giving birth to my two beautiful daughters. But they are very faint. You can only see when you look really closely so maybe hers are faint as well. My husband says I don’t have any but I can see them.

    No one should be saddled in a loveless marriage. I hope for her sake and her children’s sake that if rumors are true that she gets a divorce. Elitist snob that she may be-she still doesn’t deserves that.

  58. Lauren says:

    Skinny and flat. Divorce is imminent. Why is GP seeking all this attention- GP is bored, bleached and flat-chested. I have defended Goopy for months, now I have defected. Goops has lost her bloody mind.

  59. Firecracker says:

    #1 I don’t like her hair that way.
    #2 Acupuncture didn’t work for me when I had a neck injury from a car accident, and it was painful. I could feel those needles. Owwwww! And I went to a licensed, recommended acupuncturist.

  60. Violet says:

    @yeahyeahyeah

    The most she ever publicly admitted to was “making a mess” and “being such mess” caused the end of the relationship (http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20471622_516934,00.html) and Brad Pitt is too much of a gentleman to talk about it, but I remember the blind items around that time indicated that the “mess” was infidelity on her part.

  61. fannomore says:

    her coyness creeps me out

  62. Danny says:

    She’s acting, Bitches.

    This is her “pensive look.”

  63. Jag says:

    If she’s trying to look sexy, she’s doing it wrong.

  64. jemshoes says:

    Um, a little TOO much Goopiness first thing in the morning for me, but I saw the post and had to click into it. Curiosity kills the cat, for sure. :)

  65. Naughychimp says:

    She looks great but there’s definitely a bit of photoshop goin’ down there.

  66. kazoo says:

    is this supposed to be sexy?

    also, please tell me an article accompanies the pics.

  67. Franny says:

    I wish that she wore more eye make up. her face looks very pretty in the top picture, but she was the problem all blonds have – light eyelashes and eyebrows.

  68. Jenni says:

    I think a lot of what I will now say is projection. I’m aware of that, and here goes: I know some of actresses/singers have always done nude shoots and Yeah they look great, but it screams desperation when you’re at a stage in your late 30s. It just seems depressing to me, like women still always gotta prove our worth thru our F***ability. I know all women are made different and some love to flaunt at any age. But I like how Angelina Jolie seems like she may foray into directing. (Her try with her new movie.) I think she may be that smart type lady that realizes that you best diversify and start wowing with your creative talent and brains post 30, because you can’t compete with the 20somethings, lookswise, ever again. Jolie recently was at a waterpark in a wetsuit. Maybe she was just not interested in being called anorexic (because her legs are skinnier than I’ve ever seen before lately) but I thought that was refreshing. I think 30something women have this “I’m f***able, really” desperation, too often. It goes along with the botox craze. This photo of Gwyneth is beautiful, but too girlish for her age. The hand to her mouth/arm covering her boobs. Hell to the nah. I like how Erykah Badu at least just let it all hang. I mean if you’re gonna do it…

  69. april says:

    I don’t like it at all. I don’t see anything from the neck down worth flaunting.

  70. Alecto says:

    Why does Michael k call her fishsticks? I’ve been wondering that for awhile now.

  71. Melissa says:

    I’m cracking up at these comments. The majority of the women are insulting her, saying she looks flat & overly photoshopped. The men are swooning and saying they would leave their wives for her. HAHAHA But come on now… she looks fantastic. GP is a beautiful woman.

  72. Holly:) says:

    Right, Its a magazine obviously its photo-shopped and air brushed. Which magazine company does not do that to people that pose for them? If they didn’t do that then there wouldn’t be any teenagers that want to change their appearance to be like those people that have had a dramatic twenty-seven stone weight loss by editing a picture.

    Anyway, i’m probably the only one that has noticed this but the majority of people that have hatred for Gwyneth is saying that she shouldn’t of done this shoot..blah, blah and blah! You know where i’m getting?

    If everyone here had a figure like that you wouldn’t complain would you? Would you care if you was getting called flat-chested and whatever else you people want to call her? Basically just because she is a celebrity and is modelling for some magazine shoot really doesn’t give you the right to say things about her. The majority of you lot would be too paranoid or embarrassed to get up there and get your picture taken half naked.

    Do you say anything about those people that do magazine fully naked, you know the ones males like to look at.. you wouldn’t judge/call them. But because this women is a few years older then the females in the other sorts of magazines you think it is perfectly alright to call her names.

    Personally I think she looks great, she is a beautiful and an amazing women and if you have it flaunt it. She has a great body and does a lot to get it that way, people don’t encourage her they knock her down with negative comments.

    My rant is over, g’day.

  73. Jollytr says:

    She really reminds me of the Sienna Miller character in Alfie … is that a good thing?

  74. snapnhiss says:

    I was very slender like that back in my early 20s, but my hips and ribs were visible. I think they must have airbrushed her jutting bones, at least.

  75. Mike says:

    by far the sexyiest women in hollywood – big time crush – no secret—–sssssssssssssssssssss hahaha my bad bout that oh well hind sight 20/20 and at the time I was clueless

  76. b003 says:

    Nice, I used never give her a single thought. She looks awesome!