Scott Disick’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About” is epic in its douchebaggery

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Scott Disick is the subject of this week’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About…” piece in Us Weekly. He is, in a word, DISGUSTING. Is it a good thing that I chuckled and winced throughout the whole piece? Scott Disick is a d-bag, this is nothing shocking. Some theorize that he plays up his perceived douchiness for the cameras, because he’s been cast as “the villain”. Some theorize that he’s probably a lot worse when the cameras are off. This piece would seem to indicate that Scott is at best a total a–hole, and at worse, a Patrick Bateman-esque serial killer:

1. I am an only child.
2. I don’t use coasters for drinks because I don’t respect surfaces.
3. I don’t tolerate lactose.
4. I eat tons of snacks every night in bed. Usually Goldfish crackers and pretzels.
5. Cars and watches are my hobbies.
6. The coolest person I know is my son [Mason, 20 months].
7. I represent New York.
8. I have a really hard time sleeping every night.
9. My favorite movie is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
10. I’m obsessed with motorcycle and car racing.
11. I used to have long hair down to my shoulders.
12. My parents call me at least 10 times a day.
13. I order Chinese food once a week.
14. I’m as choosy about beverages as I am about clothing, and I prefer VnC Cocktails — the Pacific Breeze reminds me of the Caribbean.
15. I hate when people tell me they watch the show because their wives or girlfriends make them.
16. I tie the best double Windsor tie knot.
17. I don’t wear underwear with suits.
18. I don’t like doing interviews or being asked about myself.
19. I only own one pair of sweatpants.
20. My favorite thing about Kourtney is her sense of humor and how she makes me laugh!
21. I’d rather talk on the phone than text.
22. When I’m alone, I drive with no music on because it gives me time to think.
23. My favorite song is “Return of the Mack.”
24. After a trip, I don’t unpack my luggage until the next trip.
25. I watch Seinfeld every night before bed.

[From Us Weekly]

He gives only children a bad name! We’re not all like this, I swear. Anyway, now I can’t get the images out of my head. Scott Disick driving around in a suit (with no underwear), his tie in the perfect Windsor knot, not listening to music, looking for his next victim. *shiver*

My favorites were “I don’t use coasters for drinks because I don’t respect surfaces” (WTF?), “Cars and watches are my hobbies” (no, COLLECTING cars and watches would be considered a “hobby”, not the objects themselves), and “My parents call me at least 10 times a day” (his parents need to chill, but they made him this way, right?) and “After a trip, I don’t unpack my luggage until the next trip” - which means that when he packs your body in a suitcase, it takes him forever to unload it. So if we’re ever missing a Kardashian or a Jenner, look for his suitcase.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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79 Responses to “Scott Disick’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About” is epic in its douchebaggery”

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  1. Lisa says:

    No, my favorite is #18 “I don’t like doing interviews or being asked about myself.” HILARIOUS!

  2. Waldemar says:

    23. My favorite song is “Return of the Mack.”

    Shit! I had that song on repeat the last couple of days. Time for a new one.

  3. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    I thought his 25 things list was cute. Expect for the no underwear while wearing a suit thing, thats disgusting, now all I will think about when I see him in a suit is the fact that he is free balling, and the coaster thing. Like seriously dude do you know what kinda damage water can do to an amazing wood coffee table? He should learn to respect surfaces, he would in my house.

  4. hmmmm says:

    Ha! I love you, Kaiser, and I usually agree with you …. but I was expecting something so much worse! I guess I find EVERYONE on that show annoying, this guy being no worse than the others.

  5. Krissy says:

    My fav is “I don’t tolerant of lactose”

    Gee, if only they had a name for that something like…. Lactose Intolerant!

    I think he is trying to be funny but just by association with that family..he will never be cool enough to pull it off.

  6. Crys says:

    He looks like a character straight out of Mad Men.

  7. John Wayne Lives says:

    I’m not sure a more useless douche has ever been concieved.

  8. Jeanette says:

    LOL..this guy totally ruined any chance of ever having a career by hooking up with the Kardashians. Everyone thinks he is sick and evil, like everyone thinks Clint Eastwood is just like The Outlaw Josey Wales….how many times have we heard after the fact that reality tv is very scripted??? How many tuned in the Keeping up with just to see what a jerk he is? Puleazzze. Hes actually nice on the eyes if you ignore the whiff of Kardashian coming off of him…why ppl watch them I have noooo clue.

  9. jill says:

    “which means that when he packs your body in a suitcase, it takes him forever to unload it.”

    Damn, that was funny.

  10. Rose says:

    I’m thinking the “I don’t respect surfaces” thing might be a Curb Your Enthusiasm reference…? It’s gotta be. They had a whole “you don’t respect wood” plotline on last season’s finale.

    He’s definitely creepy, though. I’m imagining him with long hair and getting the shakes.

  11. smith says:

    I can’t believe I’m defending him but this column is always full of irrevelant and tongue-in-cheek answers. I think he was being kinda funny/silly.

    I agree he’s been cast as the “villian” and he’s certainly no prize, but no one (no one) is worse than mother Kris. She is one awful piece of work top to toes.

  12. Calli Pygian says:

    18. I don’t like doing interviews or being asked about myself.

    Riiiiight. Hence the interview and 25 item ditty.

  13. Meadowlark says:

    I had almost no opinion of this person until now. My fresh annoyance is brought on only by the fact that he partook in a “25 Things About Myself” list. This is a glorified myspace quiz and I despise any form. Seriously, it seems like interesting people never do these; only people that have to take up three spots to tell you what they do before bed. /Rant Over

  14. WillyNilly says:

    I’m 99% sure that he is being tongue in cheek. Return of the Mack? Nobody would admit that unless they thought it was a funny response.

  15. angelikap says:

    Whether you like him or not, he’s clearly trying to be funny. Dry, non?

  16. cait says:

    I’ve always found his “style” puzzling. I saw American Psycho last night, and now it makes sense. That hair….ugh.

  17. curleque says:

    #7: I represent New York. No, you don’t. You barely represent a man.

  18. Roma says:

    Maybe you have a hard time sleeping every night because you are coked out of your scull? Just a thought.

  19. Far and Away says:

    yeh I dont think he is such ass a he is presented on the show. All these “reality” shows are so scripted. Especially Kardashians, u can see it and hear it if u dare to watch it.

  20. HannahG says:

    Lol his favourite song is Return of the Mack – nice!!

  21. sara says:

    I didn’t think it was that bad. He came off as nice. I kind of like him. I think he is an alcoholic, for sure, but other than that I think the guy MEANS well it usually falls apart.

  22. The Original Ashley says:

    I thought he was trying to come off as slightly cheeky in the article. I got a chuckle out of #2. But driving with no music? It’s a bit weird. I’m the type of person that needs background noise.

  23. meg says:

    He strikes me as a guy who’s trying to be funny, but comes off as a doucher. The no underwear thing makes me sad for his dry cleaner.

  24. laura says:

    What a tool. For someone who in allegedly lactose intolerant, why is he eating Goldfish crackers – which contain dairy?

  25. lola says:

    He’s trying too hard to sound eccentric and unique. He just ends up sounding like a serial killer instead.

  26. Leticia says:

    I don’t know anything about him, and I’ve never watched their show.

    But I think several of his answers were witty and amusing. I don’t think he is a bad looking guy, and I like that he doesn’t seem to be seeking public approval.

  27. thelovingcholera says:

    I’m kind of underwhelmed by the douchery of his 25 things. I actually expected douchier. I was unwillingly amused and actually cringed as I realized I identified with many of his 25. Maybe I’m also just a douche.

  28. gee says:

    @laura, there are varying degrees of intolerance. My brother can eat a lot of things containing dairy, but he’s out for the count when he has milk, ice cream or yogurt.

    This wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. He has a dry sence of humor, thats for sure.

  29. kim says:

    He looks like he watched one to many episodes of gossip girl, like he woke up one morning and thought to himself, “I think I should be just like that chuck bass fellow.”

  30. Phoenix says:

    Ooh I love Scott. I have no idea how “evil” he actually is. On the one hand, if Kris Jenner hated him so much, wouldn’t she have gotten rid of him on the show? I think she’s a producer on the show and clearly someone was paying him to be filmed doing the things he did. On the other hand, maybe it was just considered “good” television for him to be acting like a A-hole? I know I really don’t have a right to express an opinion because I do watch the Kardashian’s Krap.. but I did find him very funny on the New York spin-off. Plus, this guy is probably raising some other man’s child. Feel bad for him.. ha!

  31. KLO says:

    I think this guy is a secret sweetheart. I just have that feeling. LoL, someone save me.

  32. Amanda says:

    “2. I don’t use coasters for drinks because I don’t respect surfaces.” HAHAHA

  33. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @Rose, curb your enthusiasm was the first thing I thought of when I heard that!

    @Laura, I would have thought that too. However,
    as @gee said, a glut of milk products usually causes GI distress. Some individuals are more intolerant than others. My mom eats butter without a problem, but when she eats yogurt she’s a gas machine and when she drinks milk she runs straight to the loo within 30 minutes.
    My son, who was born with a milk allergy (which he outgrew) reacted to even the smallest amount of dairy when I breastfed him. I couldn’t eat milk products, including chocolate cheese and butter or eat any prepared foods with caseins (a milk preservative found in almost everything)!

  34. DeeVine says:

    I expected something douchier judging from the headline. Thought it’s quite sweet he mentioned Mason and Kourtney.

    If Brad Pitt or Fassbender said exactly the same thing all of you will be swooning all over him.

  35. Pyewacket says:

    It wasn’t as douche baggy as I had anticipated. Bad, but I imagined worse.

  36. mia girl says:

    @Rose
    ITA I actually laughed at #2 because I figured he was echoing Larry David. Then he states he watches Seinfeld every night before bed, so it would seem he is a LD fan… I am certain he made a joke at #2. It was actually funny.

    I can’t stand to watch this guy, but the list was pretty passable. I expected A LOT worse.

    And I love Return of the Mack! I’m off to download that guilty pleasure now. :)

  37. TG says:

    Scott is my favorite one on the show. He says the funniest things and gives the best advice. Also, I like how you can see how obsessed he is with Khourtney. I know that might not sound healthy, but I like it when a guy is totally into you physically. There was a time when I couldn’t stand him, but I really think this is all an act. I guess it is because I can’t believe any woman would tolerate it otherwise. The K brand is annoying but at the same time I really like their shows and find myself laughing so much and I do believe that they are all super close which I really like as well. About the unpacking part is too funny that sounds like me. I haven’t unpacked from my recent vacation over a week ago. And I probably never would if it wasn’t for my husband who likes things to be neat.

    I loved last fall when he had that walking stick. If only he would wear a quizzing glass. I loved it.

  38. original kate says:

    “I don’t wear underwear with suits.”

    aaaaahhhh!

  39. anne_000 says:

    “20. My favorite thing about Kourtney is her sense of humor and how she makes me laugh!”

    notice that what he likes about kourtney is what she can do for him – entertain him. so it’s a half-assed compliment.

  40. JJ says:

    yeah number two is him just trying to be clever..but changing it to surfaces instead of wood makes it sound odd. Also..he seems to have some sleep issues. He eats tons of snacks and watches Seinfeld and then cant sleep??

  41. Kellie says:

    Ha! devils dont need sleep

  42. Hmmm says:

    I’d like to quote Michael K over at DListed “the ‘s’ is silent”. What a tool this guy is…

  43. ladybert62 says:

    Gross: (1) his parents call him 10 times a day – why?;
    (2) He doesnt wear underwear with a suit – why? – supreme gross;

    (3) he doesnt unpack from one trip until the next trip – why?

    This man is loopy.

  44. e.non says:

    ‘i represent new york’ … oh sweetheart, puh-leeze, i could kick your ass..

  45. lexirei says:

    “I represent New York.”

    Yeah, only a cocky, self-entitled jackass would say something like this. Scott, if anything, you embaress my home state for real. *SMDH* at this foolery….

  46. the other mel says:

    He comes across like a boring nitwit, self obsessed, but that’s about it.

  47. Bronson says:

    lactose intolerant yet eats goldfish crackers daily…those are made with cheese, are they not?

  48. fizXgirl314 says:

    Admittedly, I don’t like this guy but what about this particular interview made you think he was a total a-hole or a serial killer? The answers are so boring!

  49. LittleDeadGirl says:

    I was mostly bored by the whole thing. He didn’t reveal one truly personal thing about himself … save for the free balling thing which is gross more so than personal. Boooorrreddd. He sounded like a sociopathy trying to blend into society and mimic what he thinks the answers should be.

  50. ally says:

    The coaster comment is a joke from ‘Curb your Enthusiasm’.

  51. deanna says:

    ah i love scott, he’s so cute esp with mason an u can tell that he really digs kourtney.

  52. Thea says:

    I didnt recognize him without his Don Johnson Miami Vice pastels. He looks almost….normal….which is still vomit inducing.

  53. Thea says:

    Reminds me of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho minus the Huey Lewis music in the background.

  54. Katija says:

    Not wearing underwear with suits is disgusting. I’d give a pass if he’d said “with sweatpants,” but with SUITS? Oh, ick.

  55. garvels says:

    ….and US magazine thinks its readers really care to know 25 things about this douchebag???????

  56. JPX says:

    This is a perfect example of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. He’s loathesome and isn’t able to recognize it.

  57. sc-wha-tt says:

    I can’t believe that no one else thought that “Pacific Breeze reminds me of the Caribbean” wasn’t the funniest thing in this list. He’s a little special, isn’t he!? Also agree that “I don’t respect surfaces/I don’t tolerate lactose” are actually pretty funny statements. Fair warning that I don’t watch KUWTKs so I don’t really know anything about him.

  58. Paula Berry says:

    Kaiser! I agree w/ u! Scott seems way crazy! It’s sad because it really makes me not respect
    Kourtney. Does she not have an ounce of self respect? I don’t think he’s
    good looking, in fact I wouldn’t even look once let alone twice. I can’t stand how he dresses. I mean I love a man in a suit and I dress my husband up all the time but my gbf (gay best friend) dresses like Scott and I have to wonder……
    The craziest part of their relationship is that when the show 1st started they had only been dating 6months so it’s not even like they had a history to want to cling to! When he shoved the $100 bill in the waiters mouth in Vegas last season at kind birthday dinner, I would have dumped him on the spot! She just sat there and said it wasn’t her
    problem. Maybe she deserves a db like him?! Did you read the article about how when he was in HS he had a “gang” w/ his friends and they would bring girls home and bang them while the friends hid in the closet and recorded it all! Supposedly someone still has the tapes and I can’t wait till that leaks! What a creep!!!!!

  59. ELA says:

    I was expecting some awful list when I the saw heading – its not bad at all! Scott is my favourite on that show (s), he is so funny

    also I don’t think he takes himself seriously at all and people just don’t get his sense of humour.

  60. Debsa says:

    Typical spoiled only child syndrome…

  61. Kim says:

    The whole 25 things you dont know about me is a joke. Celebs use it to
    flatter themselves and brag about things we could care less about. Actually Scotts was less douchey than I expected from him but he always was and always will be a tool along with the whole Trashian klan.

  62. Kim says:

    Yes Scott is crazy – duh you have to be a nut to be with a Kardashian. No one sane would be seen in the vicinity of that trashy family.

  63. Camille says:

    He is such a Disick head.

  64. Melancholy says:

    He can’t sleep because of the mountain of goldfish shrapnel.

  65. loveyourwork says:

    I totally had a Freudian slip of the imaginings and thought I read:

    “I don’t tolerate LACOSTE”

    and I was all HAH! right buddy.

    …I actually liked his quiz.

  66. guest says:

    When I saw the folded money in his hand, I thought he was pulling a Brooke Mueller, i.e., looking for a street dealer. He does look a bit spaced out, with Kourtney out of town. When the cat is gone, the rat plays. What you been sniffing boy? No wonder his parents call him 10 times a day. but, he is funny as hell on the show.

  67. Jilly Bean says:

    ah douche chills….

    but i cant look away from this trainwreck

  68. Miss Beca says:

    as someone who has never, would never, will never watch this show and, therefore, has NO IDEA who this guy is, i must say–i thought this list was HILARIOUS. like, so so so witty. but again, i have absolutely no idea who this person is or why i should care.

  69. Alix says:

    No underwear with suits, but… underwear with other outfits? No underwear ever? I’m confused. But it’s okay if he doesn’t explain further, really…

  70. Bopa says:

    25 Things no one cared to know and will never remember…

  71. Cherry Rose says:

    REally didn’t need to know about him going commando under suits. Meh. He sounds somewhat normal and not too narcissistic.

    Though if he decided to kill anyone on the show it would be Kris and Khloe.

  72. Emily says:

    Creepy. He has a weird way of talking. Who says “I don’t tolerate lactose” instead of “lactose intolerant”? He sounds like he has a strict regime, and it’s when something disrupts that routine that he starts the killings again.

  73. Charlotte says:

    I just don’t effing get what Kourtney K. sees in this douche bag. She’s a cutie, seems to otherwise have such a good head on her shoulders (for a Kardashian).

  74. Venefica Delirium says:

    I like Seinfeld and Ferris Bueller, but he dated (is dating?) a Kardashian and is a cheater.

    At least he didn’t date Kim…?
    Granted, Kourtney is pretty stupid and annoying and Khloe is the only halfway likeable member of that family but Kim’s just a vain, stupid, selfish, narcissistic bitch who isn’t even pretty anymore. Contrary to popular opinion, I find her sisters prettier than she is.

  75. Kitty_Cal says:

    He looks like he could be one the faceless characters from American Psycho. Or possibly even Patrick Bateman himself…

  76. Woody Gollay says:

    He’s a little boy in a grown man’s body.
    In another twenty years, a wee bit more mature…he appear totally normal like every man that age with their little quirks and humerous tidbits!!Right girls ?

  77. Jack Steen says:

    Why is Scott holding a wad of 20′s in two of these photos ??