The Kardashians’ ridiculous lingerie photoshoot for Sears: photoshopped to hell

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I’m really getting burnt out on the Kardashians. It’s like a constant barrage of inane news about these twits, all converging to push their latest crappy products in our weary faces. So I’m torn on whether to even report on them today, but part of me still yearns to mock them. Kaiser calls them “gossip junk food,” and that really captures the sick-to-my-stomach feeling I get when I read too much about them, but here goes.

First we have a photo shoot they did with Annie Leibovitz to promote their new clothing line with Sears. The resulting lingerie promo photo, above, looks pieced together and Photoshopped to hell. They look like plastic dolls, basically. It also looks like someone did something to Kim’s face to highlight it so she stands out from her sisters. There’s a video of the moments they captured the raw footage for some of this mess. (Also above.) My favorite part is when Khloe looks sexy-scared. Here’s a screenshot of that moment.

sexyscared

Also, in the video Khloe looks like a total giant compared to her sisters. She towers over them and is about a head taller than Kim. Here’s a screenshot of that:

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The ad photo shows Khloe as only a smidgen taller than Kim though. Ridiculous.

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This is just what they do every day. They show up for stuff, try to act like they know fashion and styling, and put on their best sexy faces to sell stuff. Then some kid works some heavy-handed, very obvious Photoshop magic to try and make them look like “models.” It would be funny if it wasn’t so predictable.

In news about the Kardashians that’s easier to cover, Kim’s new husband-of-the-moment, Kris Humphries, had an awkward run-in with her sex tape partner, Ray J, in the first class cabin of a recent flight. Kris tried to act like he didn’t know who Ray J. was, but Ray J. called him out on it.

Also, yesterday I mentioned Kim’s really obnoxious cliche honeymoon photos in US Weekly. It gets better. There’s video, in which Kris plays grab-ass. The comparisons to her sex tape just write themselves.

Here’s Kim out yesterday in a hideous belted shirtdress in a jarring pattern that I wouldn’t even display as a hand towel. Kourtney looks slightly better in that full cobalt skirt and lace shirt, but check out her makeup!

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Photo credit: Fame

 

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98 Responses to “The Kardashians’ ridiculous lingerie photoshoot for Sears: photoshopped to hell”

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  1. Kimberly says:

    Annie Liebovitz must be hit up for cash to be involved with these gossip fodders .

    For sears no less .

  2. brin says:

    Bubble bubble toil and trouble. All that’s missing is the cauldron.

  3. jover says:

    Do the people at sears have no class, standards, or shame; who was the whizbang that thought teaming up the Kartrashians with what was once a great american retailer was a good idea. Someone has to be getting paid off, that’s all I can say.

  4. Rita says:

    I was burnt out on the K’s before Kim made her sex tape. The only thing they have left is for Bruce Jenner to perform on DWTS in one of those lingerie
    outfits. Now that would be great PR. Sell it as Mangerie.

  5. jamminatorr says:

    I feel like you would have to use steel wool and a paint scraper to get the makeup off the trio.

  6. Quest says:

    You really have to wonder about marketing campaigns nowadays…it looks like Sears is dragging at the bottom of the talent pool

  7. MellaYellow says:

    It looks scary because thier heads look like they are floating. It so air brushed.

  8. caitlinsmommy says:

    @jover- have you been to sears lately? the answer to your question is yes- no class, standards or shame.

  9. Kaboom says:

    @1 She is. Her entire library of work as well as her real estate were close to getting foreclosed on a little while back, she had used them as collateral for a big loan from some investor.

  10. MellaYellow says:

    Khole looks so bad!!! they purposely make Kim look better.

  11. I detest that these females are observed by young impressionable girls, we need some strong, intelligent, role models for our youth, not these pointless twats!

  12. 4Real says:

    You mean you all don’t get your lingerie at…SEARS?? LOL!! These people are just laughable now.

    REALLY though WTF is up with the POMPADOUR Kourtney??

  13. Andrea says:

    Love how they just so happen to be carrying DASH shopping bags…….ugh!!!!

  14. Devon says:

    Kourtney is the only one that doesn’t looked that bad the first photo. The rest look like hell. I always thought that Kourtney was most beautiful out of the 3. She got the beauty, Khloe got the personality and Kim got a fat ass.

  15. Cherry says:

    Is there anybody else out there who, like me, is absolutely positive that this alleged ‘awkward run-in with her sex tape partner’ never actually happened? It was just another story made up by Kris Jenner to makes us talk about Kim’s sex tape. AGAIN. And I hate myself for being bothered that much about it that I’m even leaving a comment here! I try to have a strict Kardashian-ignoring policy…

  16. i.want.shoes says:

    LOL! Khloe can only do that sexy-scared-angry face.

  17. AB says:

    Khole looks awful…the Kardashians are like greasy food, tastes good initially but will totally kill you in the end! :)

  18. laylajane says:

    The video is funny, he can’t really touch her because everything is fake. He can’t run his hands through her hair due to the extensions.

    Don’t touch her face because he might mess up the: makeup, eyelashes, fake tan. Leave her boobs alone because she can’t feel her nipples due to them being fake, don’t want a nip slip on camera.

    Her ass probably feels fake as well, plus she doesn’t want a half cheek slip of the bikini bottom. Or an unbecoming moment on film.

    PLUS that was the 100th take the fun lost its appeal after the 10th take. Now the water is cold and he has to pee.

    The picture are to ridiculous to even comment on.

  19. anne says:

    Sears – the only people who wanted them – beyond hilarious

  20. MellaYellow says:

    @laylajane
    That is all so true!!!!! LOL!

  21. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    OMG Annie Leibovitz…Sears…The Kardasians…Nooo Annie…my heart just broke into a million fu*king pieces.

  22. Henry says:

    Kim and Kourtney look Armenian, Khloe does not. Khloe looks more like the two younger sisters who aren’t Armenian. I’m thinking Khloe might have a secret ‘dad’. Even the brother looks Armenian. Khloe needs to have her DNA checked and find out who her real father is. If I were her I’d be asking Mama Kris some questions. Like, when did you and Bruce really meet?

  23. UKHels says:

    seriously, who ARE these chicks?

  24. mimi says:

    A reflection on the direction this country is going in…awful.

    I remember when Cheryl Tiegs rep’d Sears..she had a pretty,natural, wholesome look.

    Now we get this trash…so sad.

  25. Javagirl1 says:

    @Quest – Um Sears is the bottom of the pool. This is totally appropriate.

  26. Firecracker says:

    Celebitchy, I vote for no more articles, even though I love to make fun of them too.

  27. nikki says:

    Wow both those videos were super awkward/hilarious. Watching them trying to pose was great especially when Kim just keeps her finger in her mouth. Then that honeymoon video….what was that? He picks her up by the ass then lays her back down into the water? Then a few awkward seconds of nothing and then it’s hug time? Silly stuff.

  28. AB says:

    @Henry: OMG, my hubby said exactly the same thing when i showed him a pic of the sisters, Khloe and Kendall look very similar and Khloe looks nothing like Kim or Kourtney…

  29. jill says:

    They’ve shadowed the crap out of each of their respective double chins in that first pic. Compare it to Kourtney’s obvious extra chin in the video just below it. Yikes.

    Kim is starting to look like The Carver from Nip/Tuck.

  30. ZenB!tch says:

    Poor Khloe – she has that banging bod but her face is fatter and more manly than Chaz Bono’s will ever be.

  31. e.non says:

    poor annie l … this is what happens when your millions in debt and have to take any job offered….

  32. Alice says:

    All that Photoshop and they can’t shop the scary out of Khloe’s face?

  33. lola lola says:

    I second Firecracker! Anyone doing a shoot for Sears is hardly news and these overexposed nobodies are a less-than-news story. I vote for a Kardashian blackout. pls! Pretty please!? Cherry on top?

  34. jesikabelcher says:

    LOL!!! Sexy scared!! I love it!!

  35. Forever says:

    Why can’t khloe wear kitten heels she is far too tall for the heels she wears. Makes her look like a giant.

  36. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    Called him out on it? Called him out on what, getting married? On not being a member of the sister-killer piss baron jug ass band? So, he thinks he’s the only man in history to have ever had an ex-girlfriend, or is he one of those people that just shuts down at the idea of a girlfriend who had not been locked into the attic until the day she met you kind of people? We all know he didn’t get there first, just before, so he can swagger on if he likes, but happenstance and geography are Oscar categories, nothing else. Dude still married her for-I-don’t-know-why, clearly he was born with that umbilical cord wrapped tight and was brought up on Cream Of Lye. But I don’t think the pro athlete has anything to be about when it comes down to this For The Love Of Cable man.

    Or maybe he thought he didn’t know about the tape

  37. Denise says:

    Simmer down, people; true hell is when Kim gets pregnant. It will be so much, that you will be longing for these days of Photoshop foolery.

  38. Dani says:

    I think we need an island for all famewhores. Let them fraternize with their own type and then maybe they will get a taste of what the general public goes through on a daily basis.

    They turn everything into a money making scheme. No it goes even beyond that. It is a money making scheme within a money making scheme within a money making scheme, and on and on it goes.

    I am surprized Kris hasn’t figured out a way to sell their body waste. Sorry for that visual.

  39. Matt says:

    I heard somewhere that Annie Leibowitz is strapped for cash- maybe that explains this mess.

  40. garvels says:

    Actors, actresses,and singers with actual talent do not get a fraction of the PR that the Kartrashian’s get-What is wrong with this picture???

    How does the dweeb Ryan Seacrest and the Pimp(Kris Jenner) have so much clout in Hollywood??

    I personally make it a point not to buy anything that this trash markets.

  41. TG says:

    @Henry – Many of us think Khloe looks totally different from the rest of the Khards, but since her entire identity is wrapped up in who she is I think she would never want to know that she isn’t a true Khardashian. The only reason she is in any photos is because they have to include her. She looks pregnant in the top photo and Khourtney is touching her baby belly. It would such to be the odd ugly duckling in the family.

  42. Scarlet Vixen says:

    In the pic of them all in black on the couch Khloe looks like she’s farting on Kim. :-D

    Did any of you see the clip on The Soup where Kris humphries finds out that Kim was married before but never told him? (And apparently he was too stupid/ignorant to know already?) HILARIOUS.

  43. smh says:

    worst photoshop i’ve seen in years.

  44. Rachel says:

    This family are so incestous. I just know they have all fucked eachother when they were kids.

  45. SueAnn says:

    Who buys this crap? Who watches their shows? If everyone wants them out of the spotlight so bad they need to quit giving them attention. They want to be talked about, good or bad. It gives them more press. People need to stop paying attention!!!

  46. Mary jones says:

    Khloe is 5’10 kourtney and kim are 5’0 and 5’2. Why are they all the same height? This is bad. And isn’t this a little risque for sears?

  47. dorothy says:

    The fact that they had to go to Sears to sell their clothing line speaks volumnes. Have you been in their clothing department? Outdated, cheap and senior citizen clothing.

  48. Blithe says:

    When are these idiots going to stop and realize that we don’t give a rat’s ass what they’re doing/dressing in/producing? Ugh. And I know some of you are going to hate me for saying it, but I think Khloe is such a fugly neanderthal. There. I said it. I’d like to say I feel sorry about it, but when they’re pushed in my face all the time, my opinion counts.

  49. fizXgirl314 says:

    eww… I don’t understand why females look up to these women. They’re always so hypersexualized with their greased up bodies and their fingers in their mouths and shit. What kind of woman does this appeal to? I don’t get it… if a guy was being sold something by a guy who was making sexy poses and putting his finger in his mouth, I think they’d be grossed out more than intrigued to buy the product. Why are these ads clearly geared toward males but selling women things? I DON’T FUCKING GET IT!!

  50. smh says:

    @Matt Annie Leibovitz has sucked ever since she got a hold on photoshop, seriously her work was so much better before. she should go back to her roots

  51. Firecracker says:

    Oh oh oh. I just watched the videos because I’m really bored at work. Why oh why did I do that? The honeymoon one was like a comedic parody of a Lifetime movie of the week of a couple on vacation.

  52. Snowbunny says:

    She’s worried about a sex tape but brings a camera crew on her honeymoon? Sears, really, a Kardashian fashion line? Did they pay Sears? The funniest part is the ‘get the look’ caption, I will pass.

  53. Chris says:

    Kim seriously outshines her sisters. They’re like a blight on “her” photos.

  54. kls says:

    I can’t wait for the day when they will all just go away. This will come to an end someday ! and I hope it will be soon!!! I can’t stand it anymore.

  55. Chris says:

    @56: Why? They’ll only be replaced with more of the same.

  56. Dhavy says:

    Does Sears also carry Paris Hilton’s line as well? that would explain it….

  57. palermo says:

    Sears is where you go to buy tools, not lingerie. Anything these girls would be hawking probably comes with a complimentary STD

  58. OfficialB*tch says:

    Yuck. I like Khloe’s supermodel height and Kourtney’s body and Kim’s face (pre-kat). That’s is all.

  59. rainstarr says:

    @Brin – “Bubble bubble toil and trouble. All that’s missing is the cauldron.”

    Perfect description! If you haven’t seen the movie Hocus Pocus, do and trade out the stars for these three, oh my!

  60. TG says:

    @Chris- I think Khourtney is the prettiest with the best body, but I agree withy you khloe is a blight their photos.

  61. Tristyn says:

    Sears you officially sux now!!!!! How could they bargain and make a deal w/ immoral trash …
    Hell I refuse to let my husband buy even his tool’s from this company any more….

  62. eternalcanadian says:

    It is stupidity like this and with Sears of all places that ensure women will never, ever be considered equal to men job or intelligence-wise. You’ll never see a set of brothers doing stupid things like them.

    I mean look at Bruce’s sons, if there’s anyone that should be sucking up the fame it’s them but they aren’t going around in skivvies posing like skanks for Sears. Why? Coz they smarter and they’re men! Lawds sake we just had that stupidity with JC Penney (another low-class store like Sears) with those stupid “I’m too pretty for homework” t-shirts.

    And we wonder why women continue to make less than 80 cents for every dollar than men make for equal job duties. Role models Exhibit A–the Kardashian bimbos and their even more bimbo mother. *scoffs*

    I’ll get off my feminism soapbox now. ;)

  63. Kosmos says:

    They will continue to have their agent set up marketing ads & campaigns for them and they will constantly be in our faces whether we want it or not. They will continue to amass a fortune for themselves by being media people, or by going on TV or reality shoes. This is how they are able to have $$ millions. What can we do? Don’t help to promote them, don’t buy their products, or show any interest in them, or write in and express your dislike for them. Do NOT watch shows they are on, so that ratings go down. They are shoved in our faces and I’m really over it. I seriously want this family to go away, but they’re making TONS of money by doing this, so they will continue on until the public just doesn’t buy it.

  64. Dani says:

    Maybe Khourtney looks different on her show, but judging by the pics here and other pics that I’ve seen of her, in no way is she the prettiest.

  65. Joe's Mom says:

    “. . .’gossip junk food,’ and that really captures the sick-to-my-stomach feeling I get when I read too much about them . . . “. A perfect definition of “The Kardashians”. (Although that should include “Also when I see pictures of them”.)

  66. Jennys(a male) says:

    Men!this is rubbish for someone to have her honeymoon taped.What!for money which she already have,i think she just wants to gain attention and be remembered for a long time.I know dat her fans will hate me for dis,she needs to be ignored.How many celebrities hav she seen airin their honeymoon.

  67. John Wayne Lives says:

    Am I the only one who thinks that somewhere there is a man Momma Kris knew very well and lookes like Khloe?
    Just sayin.

  68. smh says:

    uummm why is celebitchy constantly censoring comments when it comes to these kardassians? i never used a curse word, wished death on anybody or wrote a group hate comment. do they have a hold on the internet like they do on the guy from The Soup? lol

  69. lucy2 says:

    I never thought I’d read that Annie Leibovitz photographed Kardashians for Sears. Holy crap.
    That photo is hilariously bad, awkward, and creepy.

  70. VintageBum says:

    This makes me dislike Ryan Seacrest more and more everyday. lol I mean yes I will admit, I indulge in the evil corporate monster that is reality television, but I find it is getting more and more out of hand. Borderline disturbing actually. The Kardashian sisters really do take the cake though. I guess it really does go to show you that you can in fact stay “relevant” by whoring your face out to any sleezy product that might happen to offer a deal

  71. trh says:

    I will no longer go to Sears for tools, tires,or brakes. Or lingerie.

    Behold the decline of a once-great nation.

    Reminds me of the old saying… beauty is skin-deep and ugly goes all the way through. Exhibits A B &C. The prosecution rests.

  72. Ms.JAPrufrock says:

    One of the most entertaining post I’ve ever read and the comments are great!

  73. trh says:

    The differences between the giant and the two little sisters are marked. Bone structure, hair color,skin color,cheek bones,eyebrows, mouth, body type. I do respect her for being such a trooper and keeping her chin up when she is so outshined. However I do find her oddly photogenic.

  74. CanCan says:

    Looking at them makes me wanna gouge my eyes out and ask Why? What have we as a people done so wrong to deserve them?

  75. Paige says:

    lmao….everybit of this is hilarious. the comments are spot on!! love the line, ‘pattern so jarring, wouldn’t even display as a hand towel’ Love this, you people are right on and funny! Thank you!!

  76. Tazina says:

    Whatever. It won’t make me want to buy the awful clothes at Sears any more than I do now. What Sears should do is hire more qualified clothing buyers.

  77. AnnieC says:

    Talk about a menage a trois of losers!!

    Annie Lebowitz who’s in dire straits because of her f**ked-up finances and will photograph a cockroach if she’s paid.

    Sears, a store one associates with appliances and cheap tires now featuring cheesy couture. They’re one sale away from chapter 11.

    And the K’s — high-priced trailer park pigs who should be pushing penicillin, not crappy, slutty clothing!!

  78. NancyF says:

    This is not a PR/marketing/sales campaign — it’s a threesome of desperation.

    Kardashians/zero style pushing street walker ready-to-wear (and take off in a hurry!).

    Sears/whose clothing line consists of crap for all ages, especially 65+ (clothes to pee all over yourself in).

    Annie L./a former A-list photographer reduced to taking photos of nobodies (adding insult to injury – the photos were altered to the nth degree).

    This is a lose for Sears. Everyone else has been paid. A bad a desperate move for Sears. Go back to selling tires instead of promoting “tired” sluts!!

  79. constance says:

    I just watched that clip from the Kshow when Kris Hump found out Kim had been married before while talking about how being with black men was taboo. What a completely awkward moment. Kris Humpherass is seriously empty in the brain pan. I bet he didn’t know about Kim’s tape. He likely doesn’t know how to use Google. Sad, but Kris Jenner must be loving it. SHE nabbed a dump, rich-for-now one- for her daughter.

    I bet Papa Simpson is SOMADRIGHTNOW. lol

  80. neff says:

    Once upon a time, a verrrrrrrrrrrrry long time ago, Sears was a successful company where average/low income people bought all sorts of necessities. However, in the last 30+ years, it has faced many severe financial problems and is currently fighting off yet another bankruptcy. Sears has been advised to come up with new, creative, desperate, strategies if it hopes to survive.

    I believe that this explains why the Kharcreepian Klan, women with the fashion sense of circus Klowns, were able to get a deal to sell their Klothing via Sears. The millions who worship these talentless Kretins will probably buy tons of their dreadful Krap. I bet Sears would even sell Ray J’s bodily fluids if it could get a faux-authenticated supply. Kris needs to start negotiating this one ASAP.

  81. Robert says:

    Kris Humphries basketball career just went down the toilet. In no way will his career be helped by hiring that pimp momager. He’s a sports guy, just on the edge of a possibly decent career with the Nets — granted they’re the worst in the NBA. These K’s just steam-roll over anyone and everyone to get the $$.

    Oh, well, dumb is as dumb does!

  82. Renee et Louisa says:

    We cannot stop laughing at that ridiculous video of Me Tarzan – You Jane!! I hope to god The Soup will feature this pathetic video (they spent more time getting the water out of their eyes) as the Clip of the Week.

    And these are the people who claimed they wanted some alone time and privacy — priceless!!!

  83. Skinnybetch says:

    When the Kardashians did a “kollection” (eye roll) for Bebe I was shocked that bebe would even associate with their brand of nonsense and fuckery. However, Sears is definitely a better fit for them. It’s cheap, trashy, and tacky. A match made it heaven.

  84. atlantapug says:

    Kim’s head looks like it’s not attached to her body.

    I don’t find a single thing about these three to be interesting or attractive.

    They must look like hell with natural faces.

  85. Claire78 says:

    Always felt like Khloe was the result of an affair on Kris’s part. She is so different. It must sux all the comparsions – although Kim is rapidly losing her looks. To me Kourtney is the prettiest.

  86. sophie says:

    Sears will regret soon. It will happen like Bebe that dropped them in a few months. People magazine tried so hard to get sales on wedding issue but at the end they did not win as they expected.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/was-kim-kardashians-wedding-worth-229892.

  87. LindaE says:

    This is one amusing sight. The stories are too over-the-top to be true. Especially these chicks — they are a parody of themselves. The Onion couldn’t write a faux story to top these. It’s just too ridiculous for words…and their clothes or should I say costumes. They must be very popular during Halloween!

  88. carsy e. says:

    No fan of this irrelevant family am I, but ever since the news about their clothing line at Sears, I am
    irate! Does Sears know who they are and what they
    epitomize in society? Their behavior, whether real or fabricated for TV, is deplorable, and while I sus-
    pect that older & wiser people like myself ignore
    them, young girls worship at the altar of Kardashian
    Hasn’t Sears always positioned itself as a
    family dept. store? Now, our young girls will walk
    into that store and see those trashy posters of the K’s in their cheesy lingerie, looking like hookers–
    great for your image, Sears; don’t let the backlash
    shock you. I urge anyone who feels as strongly as
    I do, to contact Sears, (and QVC while you’re at it),
    and tell them they just lost your business.

  89. KoKo says:

    Um, I kinda like Kim style a lil.

  90. Kim says:

    Why are they featuring 3 men in a womens lingerie ad???

  91. Hanna says:

    There all photo shopped to death, nothing in these photo’s are real noting, most of there hair is exstention. SO tired of KKK, YUCK

  92. Gina G says:

    This is a horrible photo…I could careless about Khloe being shortened…why does kim look like a blowup toy with only one large leg that spans her entire body…lol

  93. Debby says:

    I bet the Mom set this whole thing up. Honestly, they are working the system, that is Hollywood for you! Make money whenever you can and sell your daughters to the highest bidder!

  94. EMINEM21314 says:

    ugly transgender deplorable and sick yuck

  95. ss says:

    To all the comments above……FREAKIN HILARIOUS! I am still laughing SO HARD…..

    Scarlet-Vixen….your comment was awesome! It TOTALLY looks like Khloe is letting a huge fart right on Kim! OMFG……SOOOOO FUNNY!

    So, what is even more funny is I am writing this when the news just broke that her marriage to K. Humphries is OVER….Sears is going in the TANK for promoting this trio of SKANKS!