This is just a quick Goop post, because honestly, the headline says it all. In this week’s GOOP newsletter, Our Dame Gwyneth Paltrow does a “recap” of her night at the Emmys. She did a similar newsletter a few weeks ago, when she had been promoting Contagion in Venice. Anyway, you can read the full Goop-letter here – it includes some very budget photos from Gwyneth’s night, including her ass-kissing of Tina Fey (who defended her several months ago).
What’s amusing is that Gwyneth just had to complain about something. She had won her guest-star Emmy, she was invited to be the final presenter of the evening, she was showing off her Goop-belly in that unfortunate dress (that she had to be sewn into, naturally) – so what went wrong? Goop writes, “The seat filler before me was sweaty, so my chair was wet. Gross!” Do you hear that, Emmy producers? Gwyneth Paltrow, A-list movie star, was forced to sit in a puddle of peasant sweat. SHE WILL NEVER FORGET.
Sidenote: If you were a peasant (let’s face it – we all are) and you knew that you were sitting in Gwyneth Paltrow’s seat, and that she would be taking the seat in just a moment, would you do something to the seat? I probably would. I would definitely wipe a boog on the arm rest. But would I pee a little bit? It depends on what I was wearing. If it was something that wouldn’t show a little pee, then I would probably go for it. Is that gross? This is Gwyneth we’re talking about.
…All that being said, I hate sitting in other people’s sweat. It’s not a peasant thing, it’s just a gross thing. So on that, I feel Goop. But I’m not sure why she had to “call out” the poor sweaty seat-filler who just trying to do his job.
Oh, and in the photo with Tina Fey, Goop complains about having “9 chins”. STFU, skinny Goop.
Photos courtesy of Goop, WENN.
I can’t see…my eyes have rolled so far back in my head all I can see is my brain…
Why won’t she just go AWAY!!??
i can tell instantly that I would not be able to tolerate meeting her
I’m surprised she used the peasant word “sweat” and not perspire. She’s so up her own derriere (“ass” to all us peasants).
If it was anyone else writing the exact same thing, wouldn’t you laugh?
to Liz2> I agree completely
OMG how is she going to recover from this.
Goodness, all the woman did was complain about some sweat on her seat (which, EW, I would be complaining about myself) and somehow you managed to turn it into a whole post with your vitriol.
Just how much must one perspire in order to leave a seat feeling damp….through their clothes, and through her dress?? That must have been so gross….and it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving snot. Yaaay for the sweaty peasant seat-filler!!!!
Kaiser says: “Sidenote: If you were a peasant (let’s face it – we all are) and you knew that you were sitting in Gwyneth Paltrow’s seat, and that she would be taking the seat in just a moment, would you do something to the seat? I probably would. I would definitely wipe a boog on the arm rest. But would I pee a little bit? It depends on what I was wearing. If it was something that wouldn’t show a little pee, then I would probably go for it.”
OMG, you slay me Kaiser! Too, too funny. And, yes, I’d pee on her chair too. And then take out a full page ad about it so the whole world knows Princess Goop sat in my pee and boogers. Mwahahahaha.
hey, she has the same hairdresser that Mariah used 10 years ago… (it’s sad that I know it, I know) 🙂
by the way, Tina Fey looks way prettier in the picture where they’re posing together.
That is disgusting, I’d be grossed out too. I’m with Goop on this one.
I looked at the photo of her getting her hair “styled” before the event and am wondering what the hairstylist ACTUALLY DID. Look at her stringy-ass hair at the event…is that something Goop couldn’t have done herself?!
I think I may hop a train to H-wood & become a “stylist” & make gobs of money just for washing/blow-drying & “styling” hair…hahaha!
#11 (can’t read your name)..it’s funny you zeroed in on the same thing I did!!!
Egad, her lack of breeding is showing. Women glow, men perspire and horses sweat.
Has she ever changed one of her children’s diapers? A child’s diaper is the gross of the gross. It is smeared, brown or green slime that smells like rotten catfish. Diapers are digusting, and I would much rather sit in a little tiny bit of sweat than change a child’s diaper several times a day for 2.5 years. I bet she tried to toilet train her children as soon as they could hold their heads up. Of course, since motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice, the only thing that gives a woman’s life any real meaning, she probably looks at diaper changing as one component to that sacrifice, or as something you pay a peasant 20 bucks an hour to do.
That dress would have been better if it were one piece.
What a c*nt.
She just can’t keep her refined flaps shut about anything.
We don’t need to know every nit picky little bullshit thing about you! It’s like all she does is complain about “normal” people stuff and praise “better than you” people stuff.
STFU.
She’s starting to look like a bobble-head.
I don’t think I buy her claims of sitting in sweat. The person would have to sweat THROUGH their layers of clothes on the bottom (and if it was a man, it would be a suit). It would have to be so damp as to soak all the way through her clothes in order for her to feel it.
More likely, she saw the seat filler as they were leaving her chair, thought they looked sweaty, and got overly paranoid about the germs of commoners. It just seems like a diva looking for something to complain about.
Oh Gwynnie!
Instead of complaining about peasants, she should be doing something about her hair. Cut it off, or at least get some sort of treatment. The way those over-processed split ends look, she comes across as some D-Lister way out of her league.
PS: I’m not calling her Gwyneth because she insists on calling Lenny and Billy by names no one else besides her uses.
she was wearing a backless dress, so that probably makes it grosser.
Is there anyone in Hollywood more arrogant and entitled than this snotty “Bobble Head”? Good one Jen!
9 chins?? god..just .. GO AWAY bitch
Oh Lordy, she’s going to try to be on 30 Rock now probably too.
That is gross, but I have a hard time believing someone sweated THAT much to soak the seat in the short time she was out of her seat – 20-30 minutes tops, probably.
She looks better with no makeup on. I’m not a fan of airplane or movie theatre seats myself, public swimming pools gross me out. If I really think about it restaurant silverware is kinda gross as well. Nope don’t blame her a bit! My own sweaty shirt after a workout feels gross nevermind a stranger’s sweat!
Of FFS. If I (or any of you) sat in a seat that was sweaty enough to feel it through our clothes, we would be bitching too.
Wow-you guys take her WAY too seriously. Maybe I’ve been worn down because she’s everywhere-but I find her amusing (and not always when she’s trying to be funny.)
Is this woman ever happy? I mean with something other than her own self? She must be hell with. No wonder hubbys always on tour.
OK…..she paid someone to do her hair and that’s the best it could look?
Like the kings of yore used to have food-testers before themselves partaking of their own meals, GP should have a seat-tester. Or just simply exchange seats with the person sitting next to her.
Oh the hair, so damaged. Time to go back to Iron Man long bob look. That worked
I dunno. I think it’s gross too. What’s wrong with saying it was a seat filler. No shame in that job. They ARE seat fillers.
Gwennie ain’t just happy she won the emmy she is “chuffed” because, as she points out, her dad was nominated 9 times and lost. That’s right, Mrs Bueller, nine times.
Gwennie ain’t just happy she won the emmy she is “chuffed” because, as she points out, her dad was nominated 9 times and lost. That’s right, Mrs Bueller, nine times. Oh, and Kaiser her dad would have been “over the moon” about her win.
Tina Fay looks so much better than her.
Too many grinning pictures!!!!
that HAIR!
Even WITH a stylist, her hair still looked like THAT??! WTF?
“If you were a peasant (let’s face it – we all are) and you knew that you were sitting in Gwyneth Paltrow’s seat, and that she would be taking the seat in just a moment, would you do something to the seat?”
OMG Kaiser, I love you to death for that. Bwahahahahaha!
Firstly, anyone who doesn’t think it would be gross to sit in a sweaty wet seat is lying through their teeth. She’s not up herself, she’s telling it like it is! The way your friend would tell you about it if they had a day at the Emmys. The comment about her arms looking fat and her chins – don’t we all feel like that sometimes when we look at photos of ourselves, even when others can’t see what we’re talking about? I like her humor, I like the way she doesn’t take herself too seriously.
She is so gorgeous – I want to like her, but am not sure. I wish she would cut her hair though – at least to her shoulders.
So tired of her. Who told her she was all that? She gets up and puts her pants on the same way as the rest of the world.
I am not a Gwyneth lover, by any means, although I do think she could be a passable country singer. I just don’t get all the hate for her. Yes, she can be a bit pretentious, but she was born into a certain lifestyle, so she no longer really fits with the whole “new money” trash syndrome and so a certain pretension befits her role in life, I think. So why we think she should understand or relate to the whole “peasant” lifestyle is beyond me.
And I have to say, as lowly as I am, I would not enjoy sitting in someone else’s sweat pool, if that is indeed what happened, and I would probably tweet about it too.
Is she really saying this stuff, or are people just making this up. I just can’t believe a person can be this bleeping bitchy, arrogant and a serious c*&t. I hope she has horrible fortune because karma is a bitch, Pretty soon she may end up being a ” peasant” her self. What an ugly person, I see why her and Beyonce are friends, the only difference is Beyonce knows how to fake being a descent person, Gwen has no class at all.
ROFL!!
@FancyAmazon Regardless of what lifestyle you have it gives her or anyone any right to think they are above people and using the word “peasant” to describe things is fucking ridiculous. I don’t care what she is use to being a cunt is never classy.! She pisses and shits like the rest of us and yes while I would not want to sit in a pile of sweat myself, I believe she is being over dramatic and is constantly saying things that belittle people. If you can’t understand that than there’s no hope.
I like her and I enjoy reading GOOP. I like how she shares all of her info. She is not being preachy ….she is being helpful. I appreciate all her tips. If all of you don’t like it you can go to hell and not take advantage of what she has to say. After all ” No Good Deed Ever Goes Unpunished.”
Sitting in sweat is gross but calling attention to it when it’s very possible the seat filler, or someone who knows who sat in for, may read this and be embarrassed is tacky. She could have kept it to off the Internet.
The pee thing made me laugh so hard Kaiser. You are awesome!
I just want to know what is going on between her and Chris?!? You just don’t see them together at all. I couldn’t believe he didn’t come when she got her star on the Walk of Fame. I know he likes privacy but thats kinda a big deal. I like them as a couple so it would be a shame.
Wooow, how many of you would complain about sitting in someone elses sweat?! I know I would! Thats just disgusting. She should complain, if someone is sweating that much to soak a seat, they should have been fired.
Well now I like Tina Fey a little less
She seems to have gone to a lot of trouble to make her hair look as boring and lifeless as possible.
@JaneWonderfalls I don’t think she is above anyone, nor have I ever heard or read her herself say such a thing. I will admit though, that I do not hang on her every word, nor do I hang on that of any celebrity.
@Tiffany I agree with you-I highly doubt that Dame Gwyneth’s seat was wet with sweat! I think she’s really exagerating.
I hope you’re not serious about the pee thing because that is fucking gross, a booger maybe, but in order for you to pee on her seat you would have to piss yourself so no!
And yeah that’s just goop being goop, I’m not surprised.
I laughed at the blog title for this post. Hilarious! She is probably exaggerating. As if her hair was drenched from the sweat.
Honestly though, I don’t know what it is about Gwynnie but she seems so up herself. There is nothing remotely sympathetic about her. When I saw the film 7 so many years ago, I didn’t really feel upset about her beheading.
To me she is not attractive. She has the type of attractiveness that would be ideal if you were to cast a movie about pseudo Aryan ideal; blonde to the point of nausea.
Rhiley…of course she didn’t change her own kids’ diapers. Someone else had to have done the deed, Otherwise we would have been subjected to hearing how precious it was, and how much their sh*t resembled precious unicorn tears or some such bs.
Y’know…I WAS a seat-filler for a time in my misbegotten college years (Broadway, but it still counts). I don’t even know how one would sweat so much to soak the seat, and my family has sweat that would rival the Xenomorph Queen in pure acidity (we’ve rotted watchbands and wallets and all our pillowcases are bleached in head-shaped configurations).
God, I don’t know how she stands being so precious. The thing that’s always struck me is that she’s always acted Of the Manor Borne…and let’s face it, neither Bruce Paltrow or Blythe Danner are exactly household names. What a sense of misplaced entitlement.
Jesus, seat-fillers at these events always wear a suit. Two layers of clothing drenched with sweat? I call bullshit, Gwynnie.
Egads, I see a smidge of arm fat on the Goopy Fishtick’s arm! She better do another 6 hours of the Tracy Anderson method right now.
Doesn’t anyone feel sorry for the seat fillers? These poor “worker bees” probably are jumping from seat to seat, without a break. Maybe they should be unionized…
@Kloops (#47), I totally agree with you.
It’s not that she’s grossed out by a sweaty seat, it’s that she complains about it to a reporter that she KNOWS will reprint it.
Bitch privately to your husband/friend about said sweat, not to the whole world. It’s horribly impolite.
So she had to refer to them as “the seat filler” than actually acknowledging that it was a person? Sad. Oh…and I’m sure she never sweats, farts, or belches. That would be too peasant-like.
@ Brin… Because Peasants sweat and Royalty Perspire in GOOP’s world.
She’s such a self entitled over egoed _itch! You can insert any letter you wish there…
i would plant bedbugs on the seat 🙂
I laboured through her newsleter and came across this:
“10:13 am
Eurostar back to London”
She takes the Eurostar! She’s no better than us! HA!!!