'12
Imagine for a moment that you are Tom Cruise. You wake up in the morning, put on your massive lifts (with the help of twelve assorted bodyguards and assistants), go to work and do some crazy-ass stunts (because, thanks to Xenu and your pocketbook, you can fly) while surrounded by very short extras for several hours, and then head home to your London hotel and find yourself at a loss. Wasn’t there something else you meant to do today? Lawsuit? Check. Oh well. I guess there’s nothing else to do but head out to be weird, silly, and icky in some nightclubs and maybe check your son Connor’s latest DJ gig like you did in these photos when Connor played London hotspot Chinawhite in August. You’re so bloody proud of Connor. He’s making it really big these days as “DJ C-Squared,” and he’s very in demand. In fact, Connor has social connections that might help you find a fourth wife without being accused of cruising for da ladies like some 50-year-old man in the midst of a midlife crisis. Which you obviously aren’t, right? Great son, that Connor.
HA. Tom is still at it with this nightclub raving business, and I guess his “hunt for the next Mrs. Cruise” is as good a theory as any why he hasn’t been photographed with Suri in 13 WEEKS. For those theorists who claim that we don’t really know if Tom has made secret visits to Suri, well, that’s not possible for Tom. Whenever he does visit with Suri, Tom always makes sure that the paps get a good, clear shot. Really though, poor Tom. He is so lonely and miserable and has been forced to degrade himself by trawling hotspots for his next wife since, obviously, he can’t have Scientology just order a bride through a series of auditions again. That cover has been blown.
So according to this week’s issue of Star, Tom has been spotted trying to cozy up with some of Connor’s club buddies; Tom was even seen “flirting” with busty Playboy twins Carla and Melissa Howe, who were also recently photographed swapping numbers with Russell Brand after one of his stand-up comedy gigs. These are the Howe twins, and here is the story from Star:
He may be the biggest star in the world, but even Tom Cruise needs a wingman. The recently divorced Top Gun star has turned to his 17-year-old son to help him find a replacement for Katie Holmes. “Tom is looking for a beautiful brunette between the ages of 23 and 30,” says an insider. You would think he’d have the confidence to land any woman he set his sights on, but any man’s game would be a little rusty after five years of marriage.
Son Connor is one of the hottest DJs around right now, and he has been encouraging his dad to come and meet his friends, says the insider. Recently, Dad came to see his boy perform a gig at London hotspot Chinawhite, where he met and flirted with two of Connor’s friends, Playboy models Carla and Melissa Howe, reveals an insider.
Who wouldn’t be excited to hang out with Tom Cruise? Instead of being worried about his dad honing in on his territory, Connor is actually Tom’s biggest supporter, explains the source. “Connor feels like he knows Tom best and would be the perfect guy to find him a new woman.” Never mind all the fringe benefits that are in it for him!
[From Star, print edition, November 1, 2012]
Yes, Tom is now all about finding his next wife, and nothing else matters to him at all. Twins even, but hey, two robots are better than one! Even Scientology might be put on the back burner during this all important hunt. Of course, there will be no true crisis of faith, but this week’s issue of In Touch claims that Tom is planning for “a quiet drifting away from the church” and has made a “powerful statement” by “snub[ing] Scientology.” Apparently, Tom skipped the CO$ annual fundraising event, which was held on October 19 merely an hour away from the London set of All You Need Is Kill. For the past several years, Tom has always attended this gala, and now he’s just too busy — cruising for chicks, I guess.
Meanwhile, this week’s issue of the Enquirer says that Tom has another new wingman, screenwriter/director Christopher McQuarrie (who directed Valkyrie and Jack Reacher and is one of the writers on Tom’s upcoming All You Need Is Kill). Apparently, they’re visiting all the London clubs together too. I bet David Miscavige is totally jealous.
Photos courtesy of WENN
Written by Bedhead
Posted in Connor Cruise, Tom Cruise
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This beyond pathetic, even for little Tom.
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Isn’t he little too old for middle age crisis?
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He’s a little old for “brunettes ages 23-30″ too, but clearly that isn’t stopping him. It’s weird, because he will only date girls literally young enough to be his daughter rather than spend time with, you know, his actual daughter.
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First word that came to my mind too.
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I cringe when I see “stars” wearing sunglasses at night. What’s with that? Too cool for school or what??
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eh, i like to do it, it’s fun. to each his own. everything in life doesn’t have to make sense.
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Yeah heyheyhey i agree, i’d wear mine at night, too, but i need prescription lenses…i love wearing my sunglasses all the time, rain or shine, because i’m shy and don’t like random eye contact. Also, for those days when i’m hangin’ or sans makeup, my shades are life savers! My babies are Roberto Cavalli, Chanel, Jil Sander, and D&G (i like to rotate depending on weather and outfits.)
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Often they wear them because the lights from the paparazzi cameras are very bright.
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Didn’t Demi Moore did the same with Rumer? Clubbing together??
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Yeah, and what a great idee that was!
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I was just thinking the same thing. He and poor Demi need to start a support group for former A list movie stars going through late mid life crises!
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Yikes! The Howe twins remind me a bit of the Kardashians, somehow. Look at us! Russell Brand? YUCK! Conor looks handsome; I’d like to see his smile.
Tom is shopping the sale in the first pic; maybe he can’t afford gas for his plane
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Disagree. Actually these bimbos look like if Carmen Electra and Shannon Doherty have a love child(ren)
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These twins look like Khloe Kardashian. Yuck!
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Connor is one good looking boy.
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I don’t think those girls are very pretty. They remind me of timer Willis!
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I think turning to your 17yr old son for help getting a date is when you have to turn in your man card.
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Tommy has a man card? :/
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Two somebodies look like bimbos.
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Twinbos?
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Bimbtwins?
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Gross. And sad. I guess Scientology doesn’t teach dignity, eh?
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If Suri would just make the effort to set Tiny Tom up with a few dates maybe he’d spend time with her too. Some kids are so selfish!
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Ugh. They’re as homely as a hedgefence. With no business wearing Louboutins. Just ugh. The look like cheap hookers.
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IMO, they look like hired “escorts”. I am guessing the shoes met with some red spray paint at some point in time. & the one in white?..whoa, thats a big gut on her! Is she pregnant & out snaking at the clubs? Eww! They look like greasy pigs. If Russell Brand got with them, they probably have several STD’s anyway. Katie can smirk now, all she wants. She has earned that right. Enjoy it Katie! & I agree totally, Conor is good looking! Bella? meh…Not.
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First off, those twins are totally beat. They look rode hard and put away wet and I bet they’d go with any guy who wavred a beer under their snouts.
Secondly, Tom Cooze is about the most pathetic man in Hollywood now. He has no clue what a normal life is and I actually feel a bit sorry for him. He takes himself so seriously, he comes off as a total joke.
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23?! Tom, you are FIFTY. Grow the hell up already. Though I suppose it’s easier to brainwash the young, and in this case trashy?
If he had visited Suri, he would have tipped off the paps. If he had done it secretly, he would have released that info along with the lawsuit.
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The twin in white looks totally pregnant. Or maybe she swallowed a basketball or something.
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I thought the same thing. She looks pregnant. How classy!
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LMAO! I think she looks really pregnant too! Or she OD’d on jizz. Nasty azz whoooores!
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Thank you! I thought it was just me and was going through the comments to see if anyone else noticed it!
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Those girls are bargain basement, despite the shoes. The one on the right has a paunch!
Tommy has no skills as an actual human being. Everything he does is for film or publicity – he has no interests or actual friends or ideas because inside his body there is nothing but a howling void. This would be sad except he is an egomaniac who screams at people for days on end and he thinks he deserves to be treated like the dictator of his own banana republic.
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Tom did you know that Taylor Swift is available? She’s been done wrong in love too, and she has definite stepford potential. And in the right shoes, you’re totally taller than her.
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Taylor Swift creeps me out more than Tommy! Something in her eyes…
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I think I caught chlamydia just looking at the t!tty twins.
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Christopher McQuarrie’s wife is Katie’s partner in her fashion line Holmes & Yang. Must make for some interesting conversations all around.
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Connor is such a cutie
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Can we stop it with the “rode hard and put away wet” description? It makes me think of horses being mistreated and I can’t stand that. Thanks.
Cruise is a snooze. I mean, if he’s seriously looking for women in their 20s, he’s not serious about having a relationship with a woman. He’s looking for a trophy. Probably the CoS has always been a cover for his real problems, one of which is that he’s an insecure little man. I doubt he’s truly “drifting away” from the church. It’s just not convenient for him right now. By living it up in the clubs, he’s trying to change his image, but it’s a fairly poor and sad way for a man like him to go about it. Does he not have anything in his life of value that he can spend time with and invest of himself? LIKE HIS DAUGHTER?
What a loser.
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Seriously, who actually thinks anything in the Star is true? And who actually reads that crap, because it’s the same thing every week. It seems like whatever TC is doing, which is his own business, it sure does provide for lots of imagination. Far more interesting is the apology letter Timberlake issued this morning over the homeless video incident.
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Oh Lord, that letter is APPALLING.
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I must say I quite like Connor’s hoody. And Cruise is turning into a big dweeby loser…. no surprise of course.
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He’s pathetic. He needs to calm down and find a woman who is closer to his own age. But I doubt he could find one close to his own age that would put up with his scientology crap.
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I need a little light relief after reading the Timberdouche post so this is right up my alley.
Hmm, I wonder how to pronounce the twins’ surname, Howe? Is it like ‘how’ or ‘hoe’?
Looking at those pictures I know how (ha!) I’d pronounce it.
At this point, Tom Cruise is such a pathetic figure.
If he thinks we buy into the idea that he’s distancing himself from the cult, then he’s more delusional than I thought.
He’s well aware of public opinion so he’s happy to allow these rumors to circulate to improve his chances of a box-office hit with his next movie. As far as he’s concerned it’s PR and part of the plan.
Mind you, I bet he was relieved not to be at that fundraiser especially when his best bud Miscavige blamed the Holocaust on psychiatrists during his 3 hour speech.
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that 3rd guy with the glasses was described yesterday as cruise’s new bromance. they do everything together; he apparently wrote several ofcruise’s movies.
ain’t buying the playboy models… just another pr move.
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I really hope this isn’t true because its rather sad if it is.
I mean really why couldn’t he just marry a Scientologist and be done with it would save him a lot of problems.
And at this point the 23-30 year olds right now probably didn’t fawn over him back then.
Maybe if it he were Brad Pitt sure
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TC is a disgusting little jerk!!! These twins look like a walking disease. Maybe sleezy is his future but I pity the next victim(s).
His PR is so lame lately – surprise us Tom!
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As I thought, women of all ages will queue up to be seen with TC. He’s got his pick of one night stands, if he so chooses. Club trawling is one of the least harmful post-divorce escapist choices. Many men turn to drink after divorce. TC is joining the long, long line of unattached celebrity men over 50 who predictably keep going after much younger females, before they are forced to adapt to the inevitability of middle age and tone down their social life. I can’t think of any exceptions to that rule. It has nothing to do with relationships, it’s all about image and ego. Michael Douglas managed the transition, but look how old he was before he did.
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The twins are a bit icky looking. Ok a LOT
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So this is like the Reverse Dina Lohan maneuver?
Where the kid chaperones (sort of) the parent?
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Everytime Connor Cruise makes those ‘gangsta’ signs I want to break his fingers off…
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