Giuliana & Bill Rancic ‘put our marriage first and our child second’: wise?

Guiliana Bill Rancic

To begin, I’d like to apologize for the dated nature of these photos of Giuliana and Bill Rancic, which are all from 2010 and 2011 because they haven’t walked the red carpet as a couple this year. They’re both so ridiculously tan in these pictures, but Giuliana has toned it down somewhat since then. Did you see her at the Oscars? You can photos of her here, and I think her dress was a wrinkled mess, but her hair looked great. She lost the stringy extensions, and the new shoulder-length cut plus the brunette shade really flatter her face. She looked pretty great.

Anyway, back to Bill and Giuliana as a couple that is prone to red carpet displays of public affection. These two tend to be over the top in their declarations and probably even cuddle after sex, which is fine if you’re into that sort of thing. Now Giuliana has supplied her personal recipe for a happy marriage after baby — put your marriage first and your child second. Hmm, them’s fighting words to the parental brigade. Here are the details:

Guiliana Bill Rancic

Marriage over motherhood? Yes, says Giuliana Rancic, who welcomed baby boy Edward Duke via surrogate last summer with husband Bill Rancic.

Speaking to Us Weekly on Feb. 26 at a Toast to Red Carpet Style event hosted by Crystal Light Liquid and the E! News host, Rancic shared the secret to their happy marriage: She and her husband make their relationship a priority, even when there’s a “cutest baby ever” in their life.

“We’re husband and wife, but we’re also best friends, and it’s funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second,” says the 37-year-old breast-cancer survivor. “That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.”

“So we’re even stronger than we ever were before and even imagined we could be,” continues Rancic, who recently reported from the Oscar red carpet for E!. “Like Oscar morning, Duke wakes up, like, twice during the night because he’s so hungry and wants to eat every 4 hours. So Bill, like, no question was like ‘I got it. Tonight you get a good night’s sleep.’ And when Bill has shoots the next day or meetings the next day, I do it…. It’s kind of amazing…. I always say to Bill, ‘You were my first baby,’ because he was! He was my first love and my first baby and Duke is my second baby.”

The couple, who have plans for a second child (“We’d love to do it, so hopefully it’s sooner rather than later,” she says), also makes sure to schedule in time for date nights. “We do it all the time. I had Oscars and then Fashion Police, and now I’m done. Awards season is over. So last night Bill surprised me. He had Chicago deep dish pizza flown in from Giordano’s!,” the reality star tells Us. “He knows after awards season, I go to town! We had that and some frozen yogurt for dessert and…walked around Santa Monica. It was sweet!”

[From Us Weekly]

I see what Giuliana’s saying about her relationship with Bill, but I think she’s really just talking about sharing the parental responsibilities between the two of them and probably also taking time out for special dates. She’s gushing, and it sounds a bit insensitive to all the parents out there who don’t have the resources to dump their kids with nannies (or whomever) just to enjoy special couple time. And a lot of parents actually prefer not to do so because they feel like they’d spend entire outings worrying about their kids. Yet Guiliana does make sense in that if the marriage fails, that doesn’t benefit the child at all. I don’t think that Guiliana and Bill would neglect their baby in any shape or form. This is probably more of a case of them being very effusive about their lovey dovey ways.

Now for that last ridiculous paragraph … does anyone actually believe that Giuliana actually ate deep dish pizza after the Oscars? I’ve always wanted to try that Giordano’s place. They actually pre-make the pizza, put it on dry ice, and ship it anywhere in the United States. All you have to do is pop it in your oven for authentic, Chicago-style pizza. Yum.

Guiliana Bill Rancic

Guiliana Bill Rancic

Guiliana Bill Rancic

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

 

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148 Responses to “Giuliana & Bill Rancic ‘put our marriage first and our child second’: wise?”

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    • Apples says:

      I also agree. My parents did this and they are pushing 50 years together.
      (To clarify, it plays more of a factor when kids are older. My parents didn’t go out that much, but, after dinner they would have tea and talk and we were NOT to interrupt. We were expected to do our homework, study, or read. Because that was THEIR time. It annoyed me because I was used to my mother dropping everything for me when he wasn’t home, but, it sent a strong message about relationships that has served my brothers and me very well.)

    • LadyJane says:

      The best thing you can do for your child is to prioritize your marriage. Agreed. In doing so, you are actually prioritizing both.

    • Naye in VA says:

      My parents have said the same thing and they have been together for 36 years. My dad boils it down to “happy wife happy life”
      but i think the best statement i heard of it was in a movie somewhere that said effectively “you kids will be gone and starting your own family and your mom will still be my family. I have to keep her happy” I think i was a Robert Deniro movie but i cant be sure.

    • Cait says:

      Totally agree. During our premarital counseling with our priest (I know, I know), he made an incredibly important point: you set the example as parents for what your children will use to idealize marriage. Your marriage will impact how your children view the institution, so it’s critical to always put your relationship first – not above the welfare of your family, but to actually bolster your family. My little girl will look to our marriage as an example of what to expect when she’s 25-30, right? And if I can help her seek out healthy relationships with partners based on a strong, solid example of a loving, committed relationship, so much the better.

      It’s been four years of marriage and 1.5 kids (#2 will debut this summer), and we make a point to love our daughter to pieces, but to also take time to work on us. We talk, go out on dates and make sure to shut off the TV well before bed so that we can spend actual time together.

      So far, so good.

      • bluhare says:

        I don’t know if you’re Catholic, but if you are, for a guy who can’t get married and have kids, he’s pretty smart!

        My mom and dad were the same. They lived their lives around us, but they also told us when to butt out. Dad died last year after 56 years of marriage. My sister and I have both been married over 20 years. So they did something right!

    • Bluebear says:

      Though I agree that marriages take work and we should put in that work whereas loving a child comes naturally, I have to point out that the last celebrity to claim the same “love husband first and child second” mentality was Heidi Klum… and that ended well.

    • curegirl0421 says:

      Yep. Too many parents forget about each other… good for them!

    • Jill says:

      My husband and I were talking about this very issue this weekend. We’ve been married 11 years and have 2 kids. We agree with Rancic, too. To me, being married with children is like being on a plane that’s crashing (stay with me here). When the oxygen masks fall, you put it on the parent (the marriage) first, then the child. If the parent passes out, you’re both out of luck. Same with marriage. Gvev it your best shot. Because divorce is very hard (I know, I’ve been there, too. Not with kids, but I can imagine that it’s incredibly painful for everyone involved.)

    • irishserra says:

      I’m with you. Putting your marriage first pretty much encompasses the happiness of the children. I won’t even elaborate because I’m still reading through the responses to your post, and thus far, it seems everyone’s got it covered.

  1. KellyinSeattle says:

    I don’t think it’s matter of first or second; it’s all intertwined.

  2. TQB says:

    I saw this quote and cringed the same way you did – because it’s clearly out of context and there’s nothing we love more as Americans than criticizing someone else’s parenting.

    I take it as similar to Gwen Stefani saying that her real accomplishment is her marriage. Kids are not easy, but loving them is. You just do. Remaining in love with the other parent is the really hard work. I don’t know if I’d phrase it as “spouse first, kid #2″ because that’s a bit harsh. But the idea that you have to make much more of an effort to remain connected to your spouse when the kids come – that’s absolutely important, and so many of us don’t get it. It’s better for the kids in the end for them to see parents who love and respect each other – even if that means the kids don’t always come first.

  3. eileen says:

    Sorry but she looks like a praying mantis. :shudder:

  4. Kim says:

    I believe it she starves before award shows than binges

  5. Sweet Dee says:

    I don’t have kids, but I’ve been one, and I know my childhood would have been a lot better had my parents paid more attention to their marriage. I can’t hate on them for loving each other that much, either. Their son will benefit from this unless he’s neglected, which I highly doubt.

    • Erinn says:

      Same Sweet Dee. I grew up in a household full of fighting, and parents who were not fair to each other. I think there are going to be people who freak over her quote. But honestly… my fiance and I have decided to spend our lives together. We’ve made that commitment to each other. We’ve had discussions about how his sister treats his dad like absolute crap, and his mother will never allow her daughter to be punished. And that’s not fair. We’re a partnership. We’re going to stick up for each other, and back each other up where any future kids are concerned.

      • Sweet Dee says:

        It just makes everyone miserable right? People are biologically inclined to love and nurture their offspring. Not so with a romantic partner, but it still takes attention and nurturing to have a good marriage. Good luck to you two, it sounds like you’re on a good road.

  6. annaloo. says:

    I agree. The bond that brought you together, the bond that is the basis for the child in the first place, is extremely important. Obviously not so much that one neglects the child, but if you are the type of person for whom maintaining the original family is very important, putting the kids before your partner is the quickest way to lose connection, intimacy and ultimately, your family unit.

  7. Elizabeth says:

    No one should really ever say anything at all about their lives as someone, somewhere is living differently and will be horribly offended by it

  8. MG says:

    Your spouse is supposed to be first…according to the bible anyway. And I think it makes sense. Your children are going to grow up and leave and have their own lives and when they do you are going to be all alone with your spouse….who you either kept as your priority or put after the kids? Your spouse is the person you are going to grow old with…put them first.

  9. Jessie says:

    I see where she’s going with that comment, so no, as a patent I don’t feel offended at all. If anything I might show this post to my husband to see if we can take a leaf out of the Rancic’s book for a change!

    PS Bedhead, go for it and try the Giordano’s. I have a Giordano’s down the road from me and were it not for the fact I’d be 2000lbs I’d eat there every day. Also check out Home Run Inn pizza, they’re awesome!

  10. Debbie says:

    Understand what she is getting at but that is a bad way to say it.

    I would have gone with we make sure our marriage is a top priority because that is in the best interest of our son and our relationship.

    But that’s just me.

  11. aud says:

    i see what she means

    but she worded it poorly, imo. it makes it sound like she would choose Bill over her child, if forced.

    I think she just means that she makes it a priority to have a healthy relationship because mentally and physically healthy/happy parents are better parents. Which is correct. Just explained in a way which sounds selfish/awkward

  12. BB says:

    Please prioritize your health first because you’re a skeletor now. To think that TV can make you 10% heavier. Can’t get it off my head how she looks like that pedo teacher Sarah Jones IMO.

  13. shewolf says:

    I dont really understand what that means. I don’t think she phrased it properly.

  14. DeltaJuliet says:

    Well, as a married woman and a mom of two who works full-time, I have to say it’s a juggling act (like any of you don’t already know that)

    Would I like to go out more without the kids? Sure, but I don’t see them all freakin’ day. I don’t want to leave them at night or on the weekends. Plus, I can’t afford to pay a sitter AND go out. The way I look at it, hubby and I need to suck it up and put the kids first for now.

    I imagine it’s easier too when you are a celebrity with all kinds of help. I mean, sure they get busy, blah blah, but they aren’t committeed to an office 5 to 6 days a week from 8-5, along with cooking meals, packing lunches, laundry, all that other crap. It’s GOT to be easier for them.

  15. mel says:

    I love this couple, I can’t help it.

    @Bedhead, are we going to have a JLaw smoking weed post?

    • Sweet Dee says:

      +1

      Please someone do the JLaw weed post! I love her more now.

      • mel says:

        lol seriously? you love her because she smokes weed? do you know that she is a role model to young girls and just got caught smoking weed??? If any other actress got caught, you would hate her

      • Sweet Dee says:

        Methinks someone’s a little presumptuous!

        Yes, seriously. She’s not a role model, she’s an actress. If moms think their daughters have a weed problem, it’s not JLaw’s fault, it’s their own.

        And please. Do not assume you know for a second my stance on the subject. Weed is legal where I live, my family and friends all use it and not one of them is a deadbeat stoner. For the most part, they’re published scientists. I support legalization, and the science would tell you that the alcohol she’s drinking is far more dangerous than what she’s smoking.

        I even liked crummy KStew a little better when I saw her pictured pipe-in-hand.

      • Erinn says:

        @Sweet Dee
        Don’t mind mel. I recall her declaring her love for Kristen and telling to keep her attitude in yesterdays post, as well as trashing JLaw. Another poster pointed out she’s likely the same poster that trashes JLaw on another site as well.

        I’m not sure how anyone else grew up, but I never idolized or looked up to an actress. It’s a shame to feel the need to rip down such a great girl like Jennifer, for no real reason.

      • Sweet Dee says:

        @Erinn

        Thanks for the explanation! I wondered why someone would pounce like that. Her being a KStew die-hard would explain a lot.

        Still, while I’m not a Kristen fan I would never waste my time trashing her on multiple gossip sites. That’s just strange.

  16. the original bellaluna says:

    I don’t, for one second, believe she ate pizza. And if she did, she purged afterwards.

  17. paranormalgirl says:

    She’s right. A healthy marriage makes for healthy parenting as long as the child is loved and cared for (and not excluded.)

  18. Jacqueline says:

    God first, spouse second, children third. Think about it, how many marriages have you seen where it revolves around the kids, they go to college and the marriage dissolves? Your children are only a temporary part of your full-time lives together. You can’t build your relationship around them, because they go on to live their own lives (ideally) and you need something left when they go.

  19. Syko says:

    These people are really odd looking. That said, they’re right. Putting your marriage first doesn’t mean you neglect your kids. But kids come and go, and you need to work on the relationship that you hope will last past kids and grandchildren.

  20. Itsa says:

    First of all, Giordano’s is the BEST! Stuffed Spinach Pizza……mmmmmmmmm.

    Second, I agree with what she said. My husband and I have always made our marriage a priority as well. You have to stay in touch with each other so you can provide your kids with a solid foundation and a happy home.
    She’s not saying that she ignores her child. She’s saying that because she loves him, she knows she has to keep her marriage strong.

  21. Ms Kay says:

    Making your kids the most important thing in your life and nothing else may seem sweet but it’s a bad idea and a trap, it’s opened to risks dangers such as coddling, indulgence, and other practices that can lead to a sense of entitlement say the child belongs to you. Making your children happy priority #1 is like I said a trap, a propaganda that marriage requires the sacrifice of one’s personal needs and desires in order to fulfil the higher moral imperative of child equals responsibility. Of course some degree of sacrifice is required for any relationship worth it’s salt to be successful, but the real question should be : “where is the line between my responsibility to my children, my responsibility to my spouse, and my responsibility to myself?” same goes for needs, which most people fail to understand and thus criticize those who say that marriage comes first etc.

    When one or both partners make their kids a higher priority than the health of their marriage, neglecting the needs of the marriage is around the corner, resentment, neglect, resignation follow and the blaming game starts. It kills the couple connection and give children the message that marriage isn’t a particularly fun place to be much of the time.

    So being in a happy marriage can show a solid example to your children rather than being an overprotective parent etc.

    My two cents.

  22. spinner says:

    I agree with her. No matter the wording it all adds up to the same thing. I lived & am still living my life in this way. If you’ll notice — on a airplane, they say to put your own oxygen mask on first — and then put your childs’ mask on.

  23. Hubbahun says:

    Grew up in household like this – made us kids feel like second class citizens. Just saying.

    • bluhare says:

      There is a big difference between putting your marriage first and damaging your children. My mom and dad didn’t go out much (i only remember a babysitter other than my grandmother once!), but we went to bed early so they had their time. It doesn’t have to be any more than that, but they made sure they connected with each other every day.

    • Troubadour says:

      This.

      I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. This sort of thing can be done right and it can be done wrong. Making it a “truth” without exceptions is at best simplistic and at worst can result in damage to the child.

      I would also say that “everything for the children” can be an equally problematic way of viewing things.

  24. kk says:

    oh good lord if you are going to do deep dish chicago style pizza do lou malnatis! i can’t stand that woman. she looks like an alien.

  25. T.Fanty says:

    I used to work at Giordano’s, when I lived in Chicago. The pizza is AWESOME and we were always shipping it to people in LA.

  26. Sabrina says:

    My kids are my first priority. I’ve seen too many divorces to place a man first. Women have this tendency to idolize men, married women especially.

    • Itsa says:

      It’s not about idolizing your husband though. It’s about keeping the connection alive, checking in with each other and making sure you’re still on the same page. It’s hard to do that while you’re caring for the kids so you need to set some time aside on a regular basis.

  27. aims says:

    I think her list goes, she’s #1 Bill’s#2 and baby #3.

    But, I think that it’s a valid conversation. I think it’s important to make time for each other. It doesn’t even have to be huge, when your honey is talking, listin. You don’t always have to agree on everything, but it’s important to respect each other. In the long run, the kids eill pick up on it, and hopefully treat their honey with the love and respect they’ve seen. We’re the first teachers

  28. RobN says:

    The attention my husband and I pay to our marriage means that my kids get to grow up in a happy, healthy household with two parents who are both there for them every day. That’s a gift that will pay dividends for them for the rest of their lives. She may not have phrased it very well, but I agree with the sentiment.

  29. MollyB says:

    I agree. I mean, look at a celeb like Mayim Bialik, who admitted there was very little room for intimacy in her marriage as they shared a bed with their kids and didn’t believe in leaving their kids with a sitter, ever, so they didn’t go on dates, they homeschooled so they literally never spent a moment alone without their kids. Great if that works for your relationship but since they’re getting a divorce, I have a feeling it didn’t.

    My husband and I adore our kids. We love them more than anything–more than we love each other, I imagine, because they are our little babies. But we both came from divorced homes and we know that the best gift we can give them is a healthy, strong marriage. So yes, we are lucky enough to be able to leave them with Grandma for a night or a weekend to reconnect as a couple. Unless someone is sick or has a nightmare, our bed is for us to share as husband and wife–our place to talk and cuddle and read together. Right now it’s trendy in child-rearing to believe that the more you sacrifice of yourself for your children the better parent you are and I think that’s b.s.

  30. Jenny says:

    I guess what is bothering me about this quote is the prioritizing of marriage OVER children. That is what makes it a little problematic for me; my marriage is certainly a priority for me, but I would never say my child is less important. I think the juggling metaphor is much more apt than simply saying husband #1, child #2.

  31. That praying mantis looking mop did not eat deep dish pizza. No way.

  32. jwoolman says:

    Why do people think there must be a hierarchy, that X must be “first” and Y must be “second”? Their relationship is one thing, their child is another. Different needs, not one more important than the other. And they certainly have so many more options than other people, her “advice” is pretty silly.

    Most parents are run ragged during their children’s early years because the children have needs that require it and they don’t have the option for paid help. That doesn’t mean the wife and husband ignore each other, but they have to work together and realize life is going to be different than B.C. (Before Children). Men in particular who think their needs trump the kids’ needs in such circumstances should have avoided becoming fathers. I’ve seen the heartache that comes when fathers become jealous of their own children because suddenly the guy is no longer the wife’s “baby” and he has to share her attention. Really, I saw so much of that as a kid in my own and other families, it was obvious that certain men just saw kids as an annoying side effect of sex, like an STD that wouldn’t go away. They had kids to keep the wife happy and then were aggravated that the wife had to focus a lot of attention on the kid and could no longer baby their husbands 24/7. These are the guys who never grow up. Her husband isn’t in that category, but she talks as though he is and would leave her in an instant if god forbid she should “put the baby first”. Honestly, unless her husband is unable to feed himself, clean himself, and use a toilet – the husband and the baby are not competitors for her time and attention. They have different needs but also different capabilities. Starting with the fact that a full grown man is quite capable of tending to the baby’s needs also. It’s a joint project.

  33. diva says:

    As a Chicago girl I can say Giordanos’s is great! Its annoying to hear celebs talk about their family lives. If your average person could pay for a sitter to watch their kids when they need sometime with their spouse life would be much easier but it doesn’t work like that in the real world.

  34. squeakie says:

    Ugh i think they are the most disgusting couple in show biz. They cant keep anything private! The trying to get pregnant/surrogacy/breast cancer. These issues should have been dealt with privately and then presented to the public. FACT:No one wants to hear about you going through in vitro. I swear this woman was giving interviews to us weekly the night before having surgery for cancer. Who does that? Their poor kid

  35. Amory says:

    Always worries me when people over share about the bliss of their marriage. Seeing her at the Oscars made me wonder whether she was majorly stressed about something. She looked sickly.

  36. pastyousayyouneverknew says:

    I think she could have phrased it a little better but I get what she’s trying to say and I agree.

  37. Mela says:

    I’d take her advice more seriously if:

    1.) They survive the reality show couple curse (which I don’t think they will.)

    2.) If she was really honest about her list. Her hype/career will ALWAYS be number 1. She will always want to live in LA even though her husband wants a life in Chicago. She will continue to starve herself (This woman, who waters down 1% milk, eating pizza? Yeah, right.) even if it continues to put her life at risk.

    The advice isn’t bad, but the source is unreliable.

    • CreamSoda says:

      I hope they make it, but item #2 that you mentioned could play a big role in why they don’t make it if that happnes. I watch their reality show and the LA versus Chicago thing is a big issue, even though they seem to gloss over it. She might think Bill will come around and want to stay in LA, but he is determined to get back to Chicago. If they do make the move to Chicago permanently, I can’t imagine her being truly happy with that long term. We’ll see what happens.

      • NewsGirl88 says:

        I think their location is going to be a major issue eventually too. However, if he just giver her a few more years she’ll be phased out of E! News. She’s starting to look OLD mainly because she starves herself! I love her but she is EXTREMELY unhealthy. Anyways though Bill can’t exactly expect her to move as long as her career is thriving in LA. But I do agree with her view on marriage and parenting. My parents did that and are still madly in love after 30 years of marriage. My husband and I are following their lead. We adore our kids but we realize the importance of making us work bc in 18 years when our kids are going I don’t want to be married to a stranger

  38. Dee Cee says:

    They are too irksome and fake personalities to make any interesting connection with a couple reality..

  39. Cocobelly says:

    Mmmmm. Giordanos is so yummy, wish I was having a slice right now.

  40. PS says:

    They are absolutely correct. You should put your spouse first. It doesn’t mean your child/ren are less important but I think that’s what’s wrong with so many marriages today – - it’s all about the kids. What happens when the kids grow up and the couple has little in common or to talk about anymore?

    My parents have been married for over 45 years by following the “marriage comes first” rule.

  41. Laura says:

    Giordano’s deep dish pizza is so delicious. I’m eating carrots and sugar snap peas right now – so, yeah, I want some pizza.

  42. Andrea says:

    I always felt like my birth (I am an only child and 32 now) ruined my parents marriage (they are still together but they haven’t slept in the same bedroom in 15 years and they have held hands maybe once in the 15 years). Maybe it was because my mom always needs to be the center of attention and always felt like she was competing with me afterwards (my father had to pick up her slack). I have numerous friends who totally neglect their spouses and put their kids first and most spouses end up straying (wifes and husbands, seen both). I am not saying that the spouses should cheat, but when you make your children a priority over your marriage, there is a lack of sex, intimacy, love and the relationship falters (from what I have seen).People seem to have a hard time maintaining a solid marriage and a solid childrearing life imo. Why I don’t want kids.

  43. delia says:

    I agree with them. Knowing how much my parents loved each other and the way that their love just naturally flowed into me and my siblings as children gave me the strength to get through many very difficult times as an adult. It still does. Despite the death of my father when I was 21 and my mother when I was 30, remembering their love and the sense of warmth and security it gave me, reminds me that the world can be, albeit somewhat rarely, a kind, good, unselfish place.

  44. Kait says:

    I completely agree with her. Look, if we do it right in 18 years my kids will leave and my spouse will stay. So while that doesn’t mean we ignore our kids it just means that we don’t backburner the marriage for the sake of the small dictators that want to suck up all our time. (says me, mom of six small humans under the age of seven, who loves her kids dearly but loves her husband more)

  45. Melissa says:

    I can’t believe so many people are fans of Giordano’s – they are not good! Lou Malnati’s blows them away, and they also ship out of state on dry ice.

    As for her comment on marriage and kids, poorly phrased but I know what she means. Unfortunately, many people, including myself, find that very difficult to do. I’m not playing with my kids for hours on end while ignoring my husband. But there aren’t that many waking non-working, non-commuting hours, and there are even less when you take into account dressing, clothing, feeding, diapering, and bathing little ones. And date nights are incredibly expensive, so they’re a treat, not something we can afford to do once a week. Sigh.

  46. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    They can always find one another by their glow in the dark teeth.

  47. Ainslee says:

    No husband wants to be second after the baby arrives. All it really means is taking time for each other and making date nights a priority. To not do that can spell disaster for a marriage.

  48. fabgrrl says:

    Good sentiment, bad phrasing.

  49. Bonfire Beach says:

    I don’t like them but I think this is one of the most sensible things she has said, even if she didn’t phrase it exactly right. Too often after a baby comes the wife is seen as nothing more than “mom.” She loses her identity as a wife & sexual being. Does this happen to everyone? No. But marriages all too often take a back seat to being a parent. If it works for them, then good.

  50. Pandora says:

    He seems a bit stitched up, I always thought she was “dumbing down” somehow by marrying him, just can’t exactly pinpoint why I think it…….

  51. KMB says:

    I agree with the idea of prioritizing your marriage as the backbone of a strong family unit. But her comment “[Bill] was my first baby” gave me the creeps! That is not a normal way to talk about your husband.

  52. Amanda says:

    Wow, just costs $45 and I’m assuming that’s not including shipping. Guess I’ll just stick with Papa Johns. :(

  53. Carol says:

    I am guessing she just likes the smell of the pizza. I can’t imagine that she has ever tasted it.

  54. Memphis says:

    I agree with making your marriage a priority so children grow up in a solid family, but I think they way she worded it “Bill first and baby second” was bad.

  55. lola says:

    Yes.

    I’m a divorce lawyer by the way. Those of you poop-pooing this are free to some of my cards.

  56. joanna says:

    I get a gay vibe off him, always have. anybody else?

  57. Fred says:

    Is there any way to stop them from announcing every move in their life, as if each move had some significance.

  58. That’s exactly the advice we were given in our pre-marital counseling, and it has always made sense to me. It’s not making your child less of a priority, it’s working to give them as much stability as possible. Nothing’s guaranteed, of course.

    Yes, it’s tough to do because kids, especially when small, have very concrete and immediate needs, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

    I don’t even think she worded it all that badly. It just isn’t what most people expect to hear in our society.

    Oh, and while I still think she’s too thin, I thought she looked better at the Oscars than I’ve ever seen her.

  59. lisa2 says:

    I don’t think when you say you put the children first means you are neglecting your relationship; any more then when said that the marriage is first you are neglecting the children. I think when people say the children come first it simply means there needs are put before your own. The children eat if there is not much food in the house. If you have to decide between a Field Trip or getting your nails done.. well the kids go on the trip at school. Children can’t take care of themselves. So yes if you have children you have to make sure their needs are met first. Nothing wrong with that. And how anyone comes to the conclusions that this makes children spoiled and entitled is strange.

    Many people haves said it already and better. I know what she means. And on that basic level I agree. That being a parent should not make you forget you are a woman/man in a relationship that needs you to work on it. I know friends that forget that and neglect their spouse not good. But there are couples that seem to think about this and keep the romance and connection alive.

  60. Nicolette says:

    I hear what she’s saying, but taken out context it seems very harsh. As a parent of 2, we put the kid’s needs above our own. We do manage to steal time alone, and “date” nights when we can. The fact that we can’t do that all the time makes it mean more. You manage, it’s all a balancing act.

    She looks great in the link. I really like her with darker hair, and goodbye and good riddance to those extensions.

  61. MrsRut says:

    This may have been stated. I didn’t take the time to read the comments, but you should put God first, spouse second, children third. I have a hard time putting my husband above my children, but that is how it is supposed to be. God first is the most important.

  62. Jag says:

    That poor kid. Waking up ravenous because he’s not being fed often enough and his parents caring about themselves and their own sleep more. Babies need attention and are biologically wired to have their needs met. They definitely don’t practice “attachment parenting,” that’s for sure!

    • Abby says:

      I must have missed the part of the interview where they said they neglected their kid by not feeding him often enough. It looks like she said they share duties. Are you referring to a different interview?

      I agree with her. Don’t know much about them, but I hope I remember to cherish my husband when we have kids, rather than make him a bystander or slave labor or something.

  63. janie says:

    Her only problem is actually said what the rest of us leave unspoken.

  64. Ariel says:

    Everyone is thinking on perspectives of happy marriages. what about the fact people get divorced. Everyone doesn’t stay happily married. There isn’t a guarantee that all couples will grow old together. Your children will always be your children. Couples get divorced all the time, you can’t divorce your child. It should be a balance of marriage and kids.

  65. Meg says:

    i agree with her, it may have been phrased weird but you are a role model to your kid at all times. you’re showing your kid how to take care of yourself, how to respect yourself, how to nurture your relationship, etc. so i think telling the kid-’mom and dad need time alone’ is great! of course people will go to the other end and refer to kids who are left home alone or raised by nannies 90% of the time. of course that’s not good either

  66. A Fan says:

    Absolutely, unequivocally, 100% – yes.

  67. Lily25 says:

    I don’t know why people are claiming they neglect their son and are never home. Julianna was just saying they make time for each other. A lot of parents put so much focus on their kids that they let their marriage fall apart. It’s not healthy to put too much attention in one place.

  68. Tuxedo Cat says:

    Do that if you want, but don’t tell your children when they’re growing up.

  69. Tulip says:

    After this entire discussion, I want to get my tubes tied and never have any children.

  70. Leek says:

    She’s right on in this case and you don’t have to be rich to spend quality time with your partner. My husband and I are poor but we manage to take walks together, grab a coffee, sometimes even just going to the grocery store is a fun little outing. We’re both content with our lives though so we’re not picking up extra work to buy another car, or take a vacation, we just live our lives with our kids and take it slow. If the kids want to play a sport for fun, then we sign them up, if they don’t, we don’t. For us to put “us” first it just takes living life a little bit slower and it’s lovely. Once the kids are grown, if we don’t have each other and a job to go to then what are we left with?

  71. Dena says:

    I’m for the balantcing act. I have seen so many marriages and relationships where the parent’s relationship comes first and the children feel locked out and/or starved for attention as if they were an afterthought. Like someone said before it’s like being a second-class citizen within your home. That’s a sad place to be for the child.

    However, I will say that the relationship between mom and dad doesn’t stop and shouldn’t stop growing initimately just because children arrive. Children and childrearing shouldn’t stop the progression of that relationship–unless that was the point of the relationship.

    I also wonder if “putting your husband first” is a backdoor way of keeping the patriarchy well and alive.

  72. Ciku says:

    If Jay Z and Beyonce…carry their children to vacation who are this people.How do you leave a six month old baby behind ?There is no way another person will ever take care of your child the way you would leave alone meet that child’s emotional needs as parents.Children grow up so fast why would you want to miss those special moments.You can take some time out with your husband….you can go out for dinner…..book a hotel ,have a romantic evening and go back to the house…. or have a quickie when the kids are asleep,.This people can afford to take their nanny with them and their baby.This is to extreme for me…….i am sure the child will also appreciate the different scenery.How do you take a plane to a new destination and leave your child behind….can someone pliz make me understand.If you are to in love with yourselves don’t have children so that you can leave them in the care of others period.Children =Responsibility .

  73. Aud says:

    I’m sure many couples do the same thing to keep their marriages together, the difference between real couples and idiot celebrity couples is that the former don’t actually say it out loud and take the risk of appearing like selfish idiots. But if your child is a baby and is put second, then you need serious help and maybe should consider having your tubes tied or undergo a vasectomy.

  74. Larissa says:

    What a bunch of idiots you are, you children should be priority always! A relationship may or may not last doesn’t matter how much effort or priority you put into it. Get a reality check! Being a devoted parent doesn’t mean you are neglecting your marriage!!! Your children will always be your children, and it is not so freaking hard to find time for each other, even if spending quality time together AS FAMILY.

    • Ariel says:

      It seems people forgot about the fact marriages don’t always last forever. They end. When it ends who do you still have your children. Your children will always be your children, whether they are gone or married. There isn’t a guarantee your husband will always be your husband or wife.

    • novaraen says:

      I agree with you 100% Larissa. I scrolled down to read peoples comments and saw waaaaay too many saying they put their spouse before their child!?!?! What??? You work on both a the same time TOGETHER. There is no putting my children second…EVER. These two are selfish a-holes…obviously. Just saw photos of them going off on vacation without their baby. They worked so damn hard all that time to have a child and then when they finally get one they put it second??? /facepalm

  75. Sara says:

    It’s weird to me that people would rank their children against their marriage. How does that work? I always think of my daughter, my husband and myself as a family, not as two married people and then a kid.

  76. Kitty_Cal says:

    What’s nice about this for me is that this is what my parents said worked for them. And we were a lower middle class family with 4 kids! But my parents realized that their marriage was the core that held the family together and maintaining that core was very important – especially for us as their kids! And now some 30 odd years later with all 4 kids grown they’re still happily married and deeply in love. So more power to the Rancics. I can get behind that philosophy as long as its done from that perspective rather than a selfish one.