Charles Saatchi is divorcing Nigella Lawson because she didn’t defend him

Charles Saatchi

Nearly a month has passed since paparazzi caught Nigella Lawson’s husband of nearly a decade, Charles Saatchi, choking her in a public restaurant in full view of other patrons and the street. Of course, Saatchi immediately dismissed the incident as “a playful tiff” even though it looked anything but that, and then he followed up with a claim that he was merely picking her nose. All along, Nigella insisted that she was “not some sort of battered wife,” but clearly, she’s still in denial. About a week ago, Nigella officially moved her belongings out of the marital home, and their respective lawyers were spotted lunching together at the same restaurant where the choking incident took place.

Last week, a few more tidbits came forth, but I didn’t cover them because they alleged various reasons why the restaurant fight took place, and I didn’t see the importance of wondering why Saatchi was choking his wife. All that matters is that he was doing it in the first place. But since we’re here, one of the theories floated was that the couple was arguing over Saatchi wanting Nigella’s 17-year-old son to move out because he felt “crowded … even though their house is huge.” Another possiblity was that the couple could have been rowing over Nigella’s assistants allegedly misappropriated funds, but that theory doesn’t seem too plausible. Whatever the case, Saatchi isn’t sticking around to wait for Nigella to file for divorce. He’s already gone and done so himself, and he gave an exclusive statement to the Mail about how “disappointed” he is that she never defended him for choking her. What?

Nigella Lawson

“I am sorry to announce that Nigella Lawson and I are getting divorced.

“Thisis heartbreaking for both of us as our love was very deep, but in the last year we have become estranged and drifted apart.

“I feel that I have clearly been a disappointment to Nigella during the last year or so, and I am disappointed that she was advised to make no public comment to explain that I abhor violence of any kind against women, and have never abused her physically in any way.

“The row photographed as Scott’s restaurant could equally have been Nigella grasping my neck to hold my attention — as indeed she has done in the past, although not in front of Scott’s with a photographer snapping away.

“I must stress again my actions were not violent. We are instinctively tactile people. Yes, my hands were around her neck, and they had been touching her arm. Difficult as it may be to believe, for those who have seen the pictures, there was no pressure applied to her.

“In fact it was merely a gesture — one to which a still photograph gives a wholly different and incorrect implication.

“Nigella has given a statement to the police to support this view.

“I am sorry we had a row. I am sorry she was upset. I am even more sorry that this is the end of our marrige.

“I wish Nigella only the best for her fugure, and for her contnuing global success.

“She remains the most wonderful woman in the world. I feel very fortunate to have had such a lovely wife for many years.”

– Charles Saatchi

[From Daily Mail]

The Mail also has a predictable followup about how Nigella is “floored” and “blindsided” by Saatchi’s filing. I don’t doubt that she’s upset for many reasons. I would hope that she most regrets that he filed first, but I don’t know. While her publicist insists that there will be “no comment” a “friend” says that Nigella is “devastated” that Saatchi is divorcing her.

Now commences the battle for the marital fortune. Between his art collector earnings and her celebrity chef status, there’s £150 million in assets to divvy up between the two of them. One can bet Saatchi filed first to try and get a leg up on keeping some of Nigella’s money.

Charles Saatchi

Nigella Lawson

Nigella Lawson

Photos courtesy of WENN

 

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163 Responses to “Charles Saatchi is divorcing Nigella Lawson because she didn’t defend him”

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  1. UghInsomnia says:

    Textbook abuser. His letter is so offensive on so many levels- he’s still blaming her for everything. Gross.

    “Never abused her in any way”? Clearly, putting your hand around someone’s throat to “emphasize a point” is abusive. There is NEVER an excuse for behavior like that.

    • Turtle Dove says:

      +1

      Classic abuser + d-bag.

    • Nalgene says:

      Hes employing his PR machinery to the fullest. Daily Mail had a piece that was so far up Saatchis butt, I thought he may have typed it out himself. He claims that he only agreed with the police charge because Nigellas PR team demanded he do so. And he did it to appease her. Oh and in his stoopid head, Nigella is only mad because shes embarrassed that shes viewed as a victim but she could have ended her shame by publicly defending him. In plain English, “this is Nigellas fault. All of it”.

      I can see why shes so afraid of him. Apart from the physical and psychological abuse, hes also a very very powerful man. This guy owns Saatchi and Saatchi, can you imagine how many News outlets he can get in his pocket. Hes going to spend the next few years tearing her apart. Vindictive douche.

    • LakeMom says:

      Exactly! Abusers always blame the victim. It’s never the abusers fault.

    • SheilaSheilaSheila says:

      I love how he states this was a “gesture” used without applying “pressure” but also refers to it as “grasping” her about the neck to “hold” her attention. (That’s a ridiculous number of quotation marks I just used to make my point.) He’s a f-kface. Grasping is not a word one uses to refer to a mere gesture without pressure. It’s abuse. Puke.

    • Sarah says:

      Yes, I thought the same thing. I have worked with abused women who have left their abusers and were going through court. He sounds like every guy that I dealt with – total narcissist, blaming her for everything, he’s so “hurt” by her, etc. What a cliche. Goodbye and good riddance, douche bag!

      • MoxyLady007 says:

        Wow. Text book narcissist. “I am in so much pain because she never defended me after she hurt my feelings by causing me to lose my temper in the first place. My arthritis was acting up. It was so painful to choke her, but she doesn’t care. She made me mad, made me choke her knowing full well it would be hard on me.”

    • stevie says:

      Exactly, a classic abuser. Abusive people have to be in control so they are not going to let someone else leave them!

  2. Msmlnp says:

    Typical abuser talk. Clearly she is better off without him. If there was any question about him being an ahole before, he just removed all doubt.

  3. SallyBee says:

    What a controlling and manipulative asshole.

  4. RocketMerry says:

    Bastard.

    Well, at least she’s rid of him, now. Not a moment too soon.

  5. Meaghan says:

    I’ve been waiting all morning for this story! He is such a jerk, throwing her under the bus like that. And expecting her to give up her career and protect the guy who assaulted her in public? This man disgusts me. I hope she takes him for everything she can and cuts his money in half.

    Also, why don’t ANY of them go to another restaurant? And their lawyers meeting at the same place he abused her? What is up with that? I know he went there as a follow-up to give her the middle finger, but the lawyers?

  6. rundee says:

    He really makes me sick. How can it be,that he really seems to think that degrading his lover like this is anything but abusive? Hell, he´s not dumb Brandi or laughable Gwyneth, his job wasn´t to play to amuse others, he has a brain and used it brilliantly so I can only asume he´s a real, genuine asshole.

  7. gloaming says:

    He’s such a fucking pig!

  8. Jayna says:

    I called it. I knew he was blaming her and felt she was being forced to leave him. But then I had read last week he left her and wasn’t begging her back, and I realized she’s a mess because he’s making her feel like the bad one, typical abuser, and making her feel desperate, not he who should be desperate to keep her. What a narcissistic personality. And his statment turning it on her, that she’s done it to him. Ugghhhhhh. I want to strangle him myself. Arrogant SOB.

  9. Emily C. says:

    Such a completely typical abuser. And he’s rich so he’ll never really pay for it — not that most of them do.

  10. duchessofhazard says:

    Saatchi is worth £100 million. Nigella, about £20 million. I think he’d try and ring fence his wealth, lol. The British courts don’t really play at that, though.

  11. Dragonlady sakura says:

    Classic abuser move is to blame the victim. He is scum and Nigella is better off. I wish her nothing but happiness and him, nothing but public ridicule!

    • bluhare says:

      Karen, he’s already been cautioned by the police for it. He did go in voluntarily to the police station. When I say voluntarily, i mean he did it to get the pressure of him. And to make a preemptive strike before she did exactly that.

  12. lady mary. says:

    typical abuser,cowardly ,victamizing the victim, exactly how vile is he?srsly nigella,go fight this man,make him crawl back under the stone that he came out frm

    • Jenna says:

      You know, I’m not by any means normally a violent woman (one of the GOOD reasons I get gigs working security. I ~can~ & ~have~ if forced, put an idiot’s head through a wall, but I’m so much better at mind games and making the drunk idiots of the world think it’s their own idea to get a cab and call it a night) but it IS moments like this that I kinda wish I could loan out my services and just either dribble his head like a ball on the concrete OR mindfrell him into walking into a police station crying, begging to be arrested & unloading every illegal act and abusive crap he has spread over the years. Nigella? Call me! I work cheap – one meal, long as you let me sit in the kitchen and chat.

      Dang it. For so long my default answer to the (now granted facetiously asked because I’m well past childhood) ‘what do you want to be when you grow up as always been “Nigella Lawson!” And now THAT bubble of hero worship has been popped and I just want to feed her tea and cookies while letting music play in the background JUST loud enough to drown out the ‘conversation’ my ~husband~ would like to have with the piece of crap who claimed to be hers. (I’m married to a man who is unfazed if someone swings at HIM – but seeing women, children or critters get hurt or even shamed… well. Get’s him all tetchy like!)

      Hmm. How loud does a stereo need to be to cover the sound of a woodchipper?

    • bluhare says:

      LOL, Jenna! (And really, really loud. Either that or just play death metal and people will think it’s part of the song.)

  13. OhDear says:

    And he proves himself to be a bigger piece of [redacted] than before, if it’s even possible.

  14. Nicolette says:

    “The row photographed as Scott’s restaurant could equally have been Nigella grasping my neck to hold my attention — as indeed she has done in the past, although not in front of Scott’s with a photographer snapping away.”

    Um, sorry but grabbing someone’s throat is NOT how you get someone’s attention, unless you are a sadistic abuser. Typical, he blames her and tries to paint her in a bad light. Please. She will be so much better off without this douche in her life.

  15. Peanut says:

    I was waiting for you guys to cover this after I read his statement over the weekend. It’s just shocking to me how OBVIOUS it is that’s he’s abusive. Everything about this statement is manipulative, humiliating (for Nigella), and he takes absolutely no responsibility for anything.

    • aims says:

      right! It’s her fault he grabbed her neck, it’s her fault that it was photographed, it’s her fault for the press. This guy is a classic abuser, and the layers of abuse are very deep. It’s not just physical, it’s emotional, mental. I really hope she gets help to repair the damage he caused.

      The silver lining here is that they don’t have kids together, so she never has to see him again.

  16. LAK says:

    I don’t understand why you think he would take/need her money.Sunday Times rich list puts her money at £20M.

    He would have to be a complete B to want her money when he has so much of it already.

    If anything, she’s the one who should be asking for a slice of HIS money.

    • Jen says:

      And I hope she takes him to the cleaners!!! I also hope she does have some damning evidence against him so she does not have to take this humiliation much longer…and takes all his money in the process. Divorces should only be about money, but in this case, I hope he is left broke, broken, and humiliated.

    • gogoGorilla says:

      Agreed. And what an asshat douchebag! Textbook abuser language, for sure. I love how it’s all her fault, wah, wah, wah. Clearly he lives in some other reality altogether.

  17. Elodie says:

    The strategy is to paint himself as a victim and make himself look good…

    I can’t even call him an utter cunt given how even the cunts would be offended to have such comparison.

    I shall call him a conniving scrotum of a worthless human being.

    • Sloane Wyatt says:

      THIS. Thank you for calling him a scrotum! Possessing a c–t myself, I’ve never liked using any word for vagina as a putdown as mine has never given me anything but pleasure.

      • TrustMeOnThis says:

        <3 Thank you, Sloane. I feel the same way.

        Also, cannot agree more with the folks calling this out as classic abuser style tactics. Mine could have written this himself (except it would have had numerous spelling and grammatical errors, LOL, because he can’t afford a secretary and I’m not doing it any more).

  18. TheOriginalKitten says:

    At first I thought that maybe he heard she was going to file and the arrogant dbag just wanted to beat her to the punch to save face.

    After reading the details, it’s very clear that he wants to manipulate her into thinking it’s her fault.
    I hope she moves on with someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated.

  19. Jennifer12 says:

    Imagine what would’ve happened if he said, “We were arguing and it went too far. I wish it hadn’t happened and we are going into counseling to understand how to be a better couple.”

  20. littlestar says:

    When I read about this on the US website yesterday, all I could think was, “This guy is seriously an abuser/manipulator”. I think he honestly thinks the world believes what he says. That we would be stupid enough to believe that Nigella wasn’t a supportive wife, who deserves to be divorced because she didn’t defend her husband over some “playful tiff”. His words reek of someone who is used to manipulating others and getting his way.

    Little does he know that by pulling this latest sh*t on Nigella, we all see him for the mental, emotional, and physically abusive man that he is. He needs serious help.

    • Cazzie says:

      Exaclty. In a really weird/twisted/sad way, this man’s announcement is actually good for Nigella.

      Just based on his statement alone, the entire WORLD can see what an abusive piece of work Charles Saatchi is. Nigella doesn’t have to say anything, ever, to explain to people why the marriage ended.

      I wish her healing and peace.

    • Sarah says:

      But all abusers believe this! Because they have been bulls**ting people their whole lives. Lying about who they really are and how they act. Abusers put a great deal of effort into their fake nice and shiny lives. Sometimes they fool people for a very long time.

      • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

        Agree completely. They know what “nice,” “reasonable” and “sincere” look like, and they do excellent imitations of all three. Very believable because they believe it themselves. It’s only when they get caught in an extreme situation and they pull out the same old excuses in a context where they make no sense that people start to question the reality.
        It will be so hard for her to stop playing his sick game, and stop trying to get him to see her and what he’s doing to her. He never will. She just needs to walk away.

      • TrustMeOnThis says:

        Yep. The Sociopath Next Door (by Martha Stout, PhD) is an excellent resource on the subject.

        “Imagine – if you can – not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern for the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life…”

        Charles Saatchi is a classic case.

        Run, Nigella, run!

    • gefeylich says:

      Saatchi a complete narcissist and probably at least a borderline sociopath, and it would never occur to him that his statements won’t be taken at face value, and that people WON’T feel sorry for him. His closest American counterpart is probably Charlie Sheen.

      He’s surrounded by sycophants who never contradict him, and obviously he terrorized Lawson into doing the same all these years.

      As for this being a pre-emptive strike so that he can get her money: please. His fortune is at least fifty times more than hers, and as everyone hates him so thoroughly (this may have gotten through to him now) he’ll probably try to get it over with ASAP and move on to his next victim, er, romantic partner.

      The sick thing is there will probably be a ten-mile long line made up of women only too eager to take Nigella’s place as punching bag.

  21. Gina says:

    Yes, he’s a real piece of work, but I don’t think he’ll try to get any of Nigella’s money. He’s worth about ten times as much as she is, so it’s more likely he’s trying to keep her from taking his.

  22. MissMary says:

    Ugh. Like posts above pointed out, textbook abuser. Victim blaming/shaming, denial…ugh.

  23. Keats says:

    I’m so sorry that she has to go through this in such a public way.

  24. Eleonor says:

    I can’t believe this man is advertising mogul…
    What really is sad to me is that they still be married if he weren’t caught by that paparazzo.

  25. Violet says:

    Don’t know why Nigella was surprised. His previous wife found out from one of their daughter’s teachers that he was ending their marriage. (It was a big scandal at the time, because Nigella was the other woman in his last marriage. Despite the sketchy start, I’m not saying that Nigella deserved to abused; however, she knew from day one he was capable of great disloyalty and cruelty.)

    Anyway, he’s doing her a favor because I tend to think Nigella is still in such denial about the whole situation that she would’ve returned to him once the press died down.

    • Violet says:

      I agree that Nigella’s marriage was abusive. But I doubt she’ll ever file criminal charges against him, considering she doesn’t even appear to believe that he’s done anything wrong. (He was the one who told her to leave the house, in order to avoid the paps right after the photos that started this all. And, of course, he was the one to file for divorce. Left to her own devices, I doubt she ever would’ve left him.)

      I think Nigella needs to spend some time with a good therapist. She’s beautiful, rich and successful yet she got involved with a man who treated her like sh*t. The bizarre thing is that she wanted him so badly that she didn’t care that she broke up his family — he was married and his daughter still young — to get him. The whole situation is just beyond comprehension.

  26. Merritt says:

    Textbook abuser behavior. I hope the split sticks. Sometimes abusers pull this crap to get back with their victim.

    • Liberty says:

      You’re right, and I hope she doesn’t fall for his obvious game. What a horrible bastard.

      I think I read she will be in LA for awhile filming her show. I hope friends here support her. And that Anthony Bourdain gets to kick this sociopathic abusing prick’s entitled bum someday, New York style.

  27. Jess says:

    Just to clarify something, Saatchi is significantly wealthier than Lawson. Ballpark estimates, he has something like 100-120 million and I don’t believe that includes a big chunk of his private art collection, while Nigella has something like 15-20 million.

    Assuming the divorce goes ahead, she’ll be getting a large settlement from him and who filed first won’t make a difference.

    • gefeylich says:

      I doubt she’ll get much from him because the SOB probably made her sign an iron-clad pre-nup before they were married. No matter; she has her own money, and while she’s not as rich as he is, she’s doing OK. Much better now, actually.

  28. drdoolittling says:

    Wow, way to use the press to continue the violence. He’s torturing her and using the press to do it. I feel bad for her.

  29. apsutter says:

    This guy is a complete POS and I hope she absolutely RUINS him in the divorce.

  30. d says:

    TYPICAL NARCISSIST ABUSER, imo. That letter is almost laughable in its obliviousness to the obvious. Very self-serving. I don’t think he ever loved Nigella, frankly. I mean, that’s not love, nor have his actions ever been loving. More, possessiveness. Like, he wanted her as if to say, look what I got. And I’ll bet he’s the type of man that gets quite tickled to make a woman like her feel like poop. Not a nice man at all. I read somewhere that he was a nasty, vindictive SOB and there we go. I wonder if he actually will go after her money, based on the fact that she did grow in business during the marriage. Let’s see if his vindictiveness goes that far. I can’t believe his lawyers let him publish that letter. It’s just jaw-dropping.
    I’m still disturbed by the fact that the pictures were published a WEEK after the incident happened though. If never published or even taken, she’d still be with him. With this kind of man. Blech. What an awful marriage it must have been. And he’s a millionaire art collector? BIG WHOOP.

  31. JL says:

    WHY does this guy still have his balls?

    If he choked me there’d be hell to pay IMMEDIATELY!

    Bye, Bye Bastard.

  32. heatheradair says:

    I read that he issued the public statement because she wasn’t responding to his calls. To that I say: GOOD FOR HER. It can’t be easy, but I’m glad that she (her handlers? family?) had the presence of mind not to engage in a big back-and-forth, public brouhaha — don’t engage someone who’s full of backpedaling excuses — get out, move forward, protect yourself.

  33. Ruyana says:

    Typical abusive manipulator. He’s trying to make her feel guilty so she’ll “make it up to him”.

    I know of a case IRL where the abusive husband did everything he could to destroy his ex. Saatchi is a monster, plain and simple. If Nigella won’t crawl to and for him he wants to erase her.

  34. Dommy Dearest says:

    He’s a piece of shit. Him filing is a good thing. She needs to get far away from him.

  35. Dawn says:

    There is no defense for what he did. What a POS. She probably won’t believe it but at the end of the day she is better off without this awful excuse of a man.

  36. lisa says:

    she’s better off

    it will interesting to see how soon he is at that same restaurant with a new girlfriend

  37. lucy2 says:

    It doesn’t matter what he says – she’s away from him now, and that’s all that matters.

    All his whining and proclaiming himself the innocent victim only hurts his image more. We all saw what he did, and now everyone is seeing that his words are, as many put it, “textbook abuser”. He needs to give her whatever she wants in the divorce and just go away quietly – everyone has seen his true character.

  38. Quinn says:

    I hope this guy trips into a vat of acid.

  39. Maum says:

    Looking at some UK forums a lot of women that have escaped domestically abusive relationships think he’s doing it to get her ‘to behave’ and come back to him.

    Failing that I wouldn’t be surprised if he went after her money just out of spite.

    It’s interesting that he mentions her ‘global’ success as a pointed comment in his official statement.
    Apparently Nigella turned down a lot of work because he didn’t like the idea of her being too successful. Oh, and he also said that her cooking was vile and that the nicest thing he’d ever eaten in their house had been a bowl of Weetabix.

  40. Feebee says:

    Wow. If there was anyone left who was wondering exactly what a POS this guy is, this latest work should have cleared any doubts.

    From the comments above everybody has this guy’s number. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about Nigella. Maybe he saw her as an asset, and I mean literally an asset. And now she’s a millstone because he got caught being physically abusive to her.

    I don’t have any doubt that this divorce will be filled with poison tipped daggers aimed at Nigella. He doesn’t need her money but he wants to make her pay, For making him abuse her, for not defending him, for embarrassing him and probably just being an embarrassment of a woman in general.

    Brace yourself Nigella. He won’t be able to strangle you anymore but he’s clearly not done with you yet.

  41. Lucinda says:

    What a creep. She should thank him for leaving!

  42. Emma says:

    He’s a creep. Poor Nigella, he’s obviously trying to manipulate her. Abusers believe they’re so smart, but the truth is they all have the same textbook and this douche is clearly playing by its rules.

  43. BLOGAHOLIC says:

    The best thing that ever happens to her was that photographer, she owes him her life.
    Sadly I believe she would have stayed with him if the pics didn’t surface.
    Sad that this has happend but she has the rest of her life to heal.

  44. some bitch says:

    You know, I generally consider myself non-violent, but I really want to punch this abusive, victim-blaming knob in the face.

  45. paranormalgirl says:

    That letter is such a piece of stereotypical abuser crap. What’s sad is hearing a woman who is abused take the exact same party line. “It was my fault, that’s how he is, it was just a little argument, etc. I see it all the time in my line of work.

  46. TheyPromisedMeBeer says:

    All I can think of right now is Miranda Lambert’s “Gunpowder and Lead”. Judge me all you will, but he (and any abuser, really) genuinely sickens me and makes me see red.

  47. Holden says:

    Well, at least she won’t be going back to him now, like Rihanna did.

  48. Reece says:

    Reading this I could only think of the words of Tolkien, “There is no curse in Elvish, Entish or the tongues of Men bad enough for such treachery!” Yet still, this POS!

    I’m sure Nigella feels like hell right now but as long as she stays away then she’ll be alright. Whoever is helping her right now, I’m glad she has somebody to lean on.

  49. Jennifer12 says:

    Imagine if he’d taken responsibility, both publicly and privately, what a difference that might have made. Don’t like Chris Brown, but at least he stood up and took responsibility and only blamed himself. This rich guy is a total POS.

  50. Helvetica says:

    I kinda dig how she hasn’t said anything about this. Let him talk himself into a hole. It looks bad on him, all of it and blaming her and then acting so immature and vile about it says it all. She is way better off.

    It kinda reminds me of Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. He kept talking so much crap about her and she has never said a word.

  51. Helvetica says:

    I kinda dig how she hasn’t said anything about this. Let him talk himself into a hole. It looks bad on him, all of it and blaming her and then acting so immature and vile about it says it all. She is way better off.

  52. Maggie says:

    Well a thread where everyone is in agreement!!! Guy looks like a miserable prick!

  53. ParisPucker says:

    sending Nigella a hug. She’s a brilliant woman, great to her kids, and she *truly does not* deserve this! (NO woman deserves abuse, ever — but Nigella is a true gem.)

    sadness. my heart goes out to her. Stay strong…it’s clear your children adore you – may they help you in this rough period. You’ll come out stronger and hopefully love will find you again…

  54. ShakenNotStirred says:

    Can’t wait to see joy in her eyes again. What an asshole.

  55. Ag says:

    what a piece of shit this man is.

  56. Kosmos says:

    Thank God she’ll be done with him, the little bratty abuser. He can’t even take the blame for what he is. He is spoiled and in denial. He’s likely been abusing her for years, now she can be FREE of him, poor thing….with all the proof in those photos that were taken, I don’t think anyone would side with him or feel that he hasn’t been abusive to her.

  57. skuddles says:

    Good riddance to his abusive old ass!

  58. mrsmc says:

    She should have the one filing for divorce against him for trying to choke the life out of her. He looks mean. Who knows what he was doing to her behind closed doors, if he couldn’t even control himself in public.

    • UsedToBeLulu says:

      Thanks for the link. Obviously some people still want to believe in surface appearances. It doesn’t at all change the fact of what he is and what he did and what he continues to do – publicly humiliate her in an effort to bring her to her knees.

    • z says:

      The only thing I can make of that article is that they have their head shoved so far up the abuser’s ass that they are pulling the “WHY DO YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE MEDIA TELLS YOU?!!?!” bullshit.

      The media didn’t tell me jackshit, assholes. The pictures showed me what that abusive POS did, and that anyone would ever try to claim otherwise is disgusting.

      • d says:

        I kind of think it illustrates a common problem with abuse, or more likely, the perception of abuse. I have heard, from an early age, “oh, that’s just the way he is,” or what have you. And even now, it’s like, the message is, “well, sure, he’s an asshole, but he’s not an ABUSER.” Very commonly…like someone’s behaviour is really atrocious, but they’re not abusing their partner. I wonder if the general public still associates abuse with PHYSICAL abuse, but verbal abuse or emotional abuse, just doesn’t count. I think of someone like my own dad. Would never hit my mum, but boy oh boy, has he called her dumb? Yes. Treated her occasional forgetfulness like it’s a huge disappointment? Against him? Oh yes. Laugh at her discomfort when taking photos of her that don’t look good and then belittle or dismiss her feelings? Yes. Expect her to be there for him at all times, never mind any of her desires? And it’s always, oh “that’s just your dad, that’s the way he is” and I’m like (in my head), “yeah, he’s a jerk. I would never marry a guy like that, why did YOU?”
        So that’s what I got out of that article…that’s the way they’re spinning it. As in, they’ll admit he’s not a nice man necessarily, kind of an asshole, but he’s not an abuser, because that’s just the way he is.
        All I can think is I’m glad Nigella is away from him, but I wonder if she really sees why she accepts all that behaviour in turn for some kind of stability as it says in the article (which it actually sounds like she didn’t get, given the whole walking on eggshell thing, but maybe that’s classic denial/self-contradiction in cases like this). I really hope she gets some good counselling and nesting and excellent support during this time.
        You know, Saatchi could have saved himself a lot of trouble simply by saying a very simple statement along the lines of “I’m sorry I humiliated my wife. As this is a private matter, please gives us privacy as we deal with this away from the media.” Something like that and i think it would be very different.

      • RdyfrmycloseupmrDvlle says:

        I grew up with this line of thinking…..My father, a fine artist….late 70s early 80s everyone constantly making excuses for him…”But thats just the way he is.” Or “He’s an artist.” “Artists are like that.”…So, all the broken bones my mother suffered are justified because my father is an artist and thats “just the way he is.”
        My father needed to be heavily medicated and institutionalized.
        Im sorry to see that the same bad attitudes persist in excuse making for abusers. Disgusting. PS: I am happily married now to a very gentle man.

    • Ally8 says:

      The overall arc of the article is couples-are-a-mystery blah-blah-blah, but the anecdotes from Nigella about her interaction with her husband, though she apparently experienced them as positive, all make him sound like an insensitive neandarthal. They seem to have bonded over him confirming every insecurity and general sense of I’m-not-worthy that she has.

      It’s also weird to me that he is so invested in his stepchildren. Part of his general controlling meddling, wanting to remove witnesses from the family home for the benefit of future throttlings… Besides concern for herself, Ms. Lawson should care a bit about exposing her daughter with her previous husband to this kind of abuse (psychological and physical) and malfunctioning relationship.

      It’s bizarre that he choked her and in public. It’s also bizarre that she didn’t slap his hand away for a long time. His only defense at this point would be dementia, as with degeneration in the brain, people do sometimes become cantankerous, irrational and violent. Nonetheless, they both need interventions and help of one kind or another.

      Btw, this is Don and Megan Draper, the later years.

    • jwoolman says:

      Considering his age, I wonder if he had an undetected mini stroke or other disorder that made him cross the line from curmudgeon to dangerous bully. That would explain better her obvious love for him in past years, her deceased husband’s approval and encouragement of the relationship (when he was terminal), and the problems they’ve been having the past year. His personality might have made a major shift. Not that he was saintly before, but it does seem that there was a huge change somewhere.

  59. EscapedConvent says:

    HE’s divorcing HER? That’s *@#!ing hilarious. What a piece of scum is Saatchi.

    His statement is pathetic. He still believes he’s in the right, & other people are to blame. Denial & refusal of accountability is classic narcissism. He seriously believes you put your hands around someone’s throat to get their attention?

    I hope money doesn’t enter into this divorce, so that she can cut the cord quickly & be rid of him.

    Also, I hope that she’ll be on her own for awhile & seeing a good therapist, so she can avoid being drawn to another callous, cold, controlling prick.

  60. UsedToBeLulu says:

    Gah! The next book written about abuser mentality should include a copy of this letter.

    Also – how greasy is his hair in every photo? The guy is ugly, inside and out. Nigella will be thanking her lucky stars one day.

  61. L.S. says:

    I don’t believe it. I think he’s saying it to appease the crowds. I don’t think they’ll really divorce. Mind you, I hope I am wrong! I hope he divorces her and she gets help and she finds who will treat her with such love and adoration. Alas, I am a pessimist. Saw one of my dearest friends go through this sort of thing with her abusive husband–years and years of it. They even divorced once, but remarried in short order. :/

  62. Jade says:

    Obviously he doesn’t care for her regardless of his “words” and he believes he has never been abusive verbally or physically. That’s what is so sick about it. If it was indeed a tiff and not long term abuse, both of them would have issued a strong joint statement refuting the photos simply and factually. But they did not. A loving husband would not ask his wife to move out either. A loving husband would have been trying his darndest to please or placate his wife after the so called “tiff”. He didn’t.

  63. DAFFY says:

    Nigella needs to now start new with new thots of letting go of this monster. light to her xx

  64. Jessiebes says:

    Since she obviously has been manipulated by him for so long, I worry that she will actually fall for his bs and go back to him.

  65. dagdag says:

    Yeah, hang him by his balls and burn the witch.

  66. the original bellaluna says:

    Oh, those looks on her face…they say it all!

    She’s been emotionally broken by this man for years, and I don’t even want to speculate what he’s done to her physically.

    Suffice to say, any man who doesn’t think twice about choking his wife IN PUBLIC has done it and worse in the privacy of their home.

    He’s an ass.

  67. I Choose Me says:

    Of course it’s her fault. Of course.

    Ugh. Unmitigated assholism at its finest worst. Here’s to the day Nigella realizes she’s well rid of the POS.

  68. Meanchick says:

    How to choke without choking, eh?

  69. AnnieC says:

    Reading between the lines of his ‘finely crafted statement’, it is clear that he’s doing this to ‘save’ whatever is left of his public profile & to try & play the sympathy vote like he has been the one who’s been hurt. But most of us were not born yesterday Saatchi & we do have eyes!

  70. Dedrie says:

    Stupid, weak-willed enabling woman found out the hard way.. don’t do that with overbearing, rude and control freak jealous jerks., such frantic worry wasted, suffering in silence compromises, over pacifying, peacemaking entreaty, one more forgiving chance to please.. with obnoxious behavior often comes back to bite you..

  71. Lia says:

    That she allows herself to be manipulated in this way is very sad. He won’t divorce her; he would lose control over her if he did. He is a classic abuser. He isn’t going to let her go. She needs to break away from him on her own.

  72. MavenTheFirst says:

    Well, of course! To this psycho, it could only be All. Her. Fault!

  73. FLORC says:

    Agree with almost everyone here. Hopefully he gets crucified in the papers and court if he tries to go after her money.
    The last thing I have to say is every time I read a thread on this situation i’m muttering “That POS”. That about sums it up for me.

  74. poof says:

    This dude is a D K, with a capital D! UGH

  75. Lenore21 says:

    You know, he violated her physically and mentally in front of the entire world. The only thing that comforts me is the fact that Nigella could probably body-check that geriatric son-of-a-gun into next week should she so desire. Enjoy the next stage of your life, girl. You totally deserve it for putting up with that walking corpse.

  76. Tulip says:

    YAY! File charges and take that horrible, nasty excuse-for-a-man to the cleaners Nigella!!!

  77. jemshoes says:

    What a piece of work this horrible man is.

  78. DanaG says:

    Maybe Nigella will see him as he truly is. What a douche and he looks like he is aiming for some of her cash which he doesn’t deserve. In the UK it takes 2 years to divorce and this is going to get nasty. Nigella will have to admit he abused her. They both have money to hire good lawyers this is just the start. Nigella had better start fighting back or he will walk all over her. The DM hit a new low how can anyone think what he did was right. He is such a pig he wouldn’t even eat her food what an idiot.

  79. Joanna says:

    wow, this guy is a real pos. if he thinks this is going to make anyone feel sorry for him, he’s delusional. he and his pr team have lost their effing mind. they are trying to salvage his image, good luck w that!

    maybe nigella can find herself a boy toy now. gotta switch it up, girl. out w the old fart, in w a hottie!

  80. c'est la vie says:

    And it’s time for her to lawyer up and use those pics…

    Abuse should never be tolerated. Glad to see she at the very least, got away from him.

  81. bluhare says:

    Well, I guess we all called it. Latest articles have her wanting him back.

  82. Bumble says:

    Bedhead thank you for a few things; pointing out that he’s a master manipulator for making the victim look like the bully-the ‘didn’t defend me’ line is classic abuser rhetoric. But also a HUGE thumbs up for getting it right that Saatchi is an art collector, not a dealer. Even the NY Times got that wrong!! He make make money when he sells something out if his ‘conspicuous consumption’ collection, but he isn’t a dealer. He’s an ad man.

  83. Luke says:

    His statement is interesting, if it is true that she holds him by the neck at times too then it changes things – although his actions are still that of an idiot.

    It DOES appear to be true that he doesn’t physically abuse her, and that she can be spiteful to him as apparently she admits this.

    If all this is true then leaving him hanging to protect ‘Brand Nigella’ means he is bound to want out of the marriage, that’s normal.

    I don’t understand why the article thinks there should be a battle for his fortune – why would should she not have the good grace to take her own money and move on ?

  84. Elm says:

    Well, judge, jury and critics are running ragged without all the information as usual!

    Nigella grabbed Charles neck first, why can’t we see those pictures? Why only a select few showing the ‘Nigella’ view?

    Nigella knew she was being photographed as she is knows and is close to the photographer …. why did she not stop the papping? Indeed why did she initially invoke this behaviour of her husband’s – knowing how he would react?

    The photographer has a private grudge against Saatchi (wanting more money than the Gallery would pay for his work) … this is the photographer’s revenge – with or without Nigella’s connivance … shame the photographer has gone off the radar

    Nigella is a cheat – she created a fake brand of a ‘domestic goddess’ pretending to cook in her home kitchen for friends and family … all the time it was a tv studio set with hired actors …. I don’t think much of her glorified food either… in fact until she married Saatchi, I had not heard of her … not even as the Chancellor’s daughter

    Nigella had an immediate obligation to contradict the presumptive papping … ie that she had started this friendly, normal for them behaviour – by grabbing Saatchi’s neck …

    By refusing to come forward to put the record straight for so long – effectively smearing the Saatchi brand – she has either shown poor judgement (and given that her family/friends know the truth – had bad advice) or this is a deliberate effort to steal more of the Saatchi fortune via an inevitable divorce …

    I think Charles Saatchi had no option but to commence divorce proceedings … Nigella has had ample opportunity to clarify the situation instead of moving all her belongings out of the marital home, renting another property etc all under the public eye with details provided to the media… thereby continueing to perpetuate the drama and undermine her husband

    In due course, when the facts and I hope all the other pictures come out, Nigella will emerge as the woman who made has fools of the public and espcially all those women who have risen to protect ‘an abused woman’ which the spoilt brat Nigella is certainly not

    • Ally8 says:

      By your choice of the word “invoke” I guess you are implicitly comparing Saatchi to Satan?

      Cause you surely can’t mean “why did she initially PROvoke this behaviour of her husband’s – knowing how he would react.” He’s an adult responsible for not being violent. It is not the little woman’s responsibility to keep him from assaulting her.

      Anyway, nice to know that Saatchi still has a few toadies willing to come up with absurd rationalizations like this.

      • Elm says:

        ‘Provoke’ is a better word, thank you!

        because Nigella knew that her husband would hold her throat back – as she had just grabbed his neck – it is part of their regular playfulness – but she could see their colleague photographer papping them ..

        Instead she elected to say nothing for too long, and has dug herself a hole as eventually she will have to apologise publicly for mis-leading everyone

        Indeed I do not know Saatchi …so technically cannot be called a toadie?!

        however I do have some indirect dealings with Mrs Saatchi No.1 … and she claims that Charles was never violent towards her … so it is surely unlikely that a man who has never been abusive towards women to suddenly become abusive towards Nigella?

        Ultimately, when the facts and the pictures showing Nigella instigating the throat-handling by grabbing Saatchi’s neck first, come out … then Nigella will have egg on her face and that will hurt her brand more than anything

        This Nigella-gate has nothing to do with genuinely abused women – please believe that I am not taking anything away from real victims of abuse – my Mother was one for too long so I know how degrading and undermining it is from experience

  85. Nonnymaus says:

    Total.Bag.Of.Shit. I’m a Nigella fan, so team Nigella all the way.

  86. Bitca says:

    I’d be surprised if she tried to revenge-wipe the floor with him financially. Pre-nups are not as common in UK–I think–but mainly, she’s not a gold-digger. Too Debrett’s Peerage (the choke-incident was even raised in the House of Lords!) to scrap over mere lucre.

    Her family should have ensured her own finances are well-protected… but geez–I just can’t look at any pic of SoB Saatchi without that Beatles song Mean Mr Mustard popping into my head :-(

  87. bored_01 says:

    I hope she realises she is lucky to get out now and doesn’t go running back begging… which is obviously what he wants her to do.