Robert Pattinson, armpit licker, wants “a girl of her mind, refusing to smell ‘pretty’”


Is it wrong that I looked at these photos of Robert Pattinson and some pretty cows and my first thought was, “The headline should be: ‘K-Stew and Sparkles reunite!’” Cheeseball, I know. And insulting to both Kristen and the cows. Is it also wrong that I think the cows are the real stars of these photos? They’re SO pretty. These pics are from Ontario, where Sparkles is still filming Life, that film where he plays the photographer who was assigned a photoshoot/road-trip with a then-unknown actor named James Dean. I’m not sure where the cows come in. But I’m sure they’re union cows. And Rob looks like he’s having a great time with them too. Sweet Rob, he loves animals so much. He should do more films with animals.

Anyway, Rob has a new interview with Teen Vogue, to promote his Dior Homme endorsement. To me, this is bad marketing. You don’t send Rob to do an interview with Teen Vogue! If you’re aiming to get young women to buy their boyfriends the Dior Homme cologne, make Sparkles do interviews with, like, ELLE or InStyle. The target market shouldn’t be high school girls, it should be college girls. Here’s the interview:

Few male fragrances have managed to capture female attention quite like Dior Homme Eau for Men. Perhaps that’s because the scent—classically masculine according to perfume tradition—gives a couple nods to the ladies with notes like grapefruit and iris. Or, perhaps more realistically, it has to do with its spokesman: The painfully handsome Mr. Robert Pattinson.

“The idea of revisiting a classic fragrance was very attractive,” says the star, who imagines the scent’s wearer to be “a free spirit who does whatever he wants, and is fearless about it.” Indeed, the fragrance’s film campaign, directed by Romain Gavras, depicts just that: Viewers can watch as he races a vintage car along the beach, runs on rooftops, kisses (Twilight style!) in an elevator, and more. These various scenes embody a guy who’s a lot less Edward Cullen…and a lot more James Dean.

For R.Patz, it’s fitting that the fragrance he’s fronting is all about rebellion. “When I was 12, I remember being on holiday in Portugal and watching teenagers going into bars,” he says. “I believed that splashing cologne would convince everyone I was an adult. I thought wearing perfume was the cool thing to do.” Reluctantly, he adds, “That…and hair gel.”

But, Rob acknowledges, it’s totally possible that the dude who wears this scent may be slightly outdone—by the ladies. In fact, he seems undeterred by the female fanbase the fragrance has garnered. “She’s a girl of her own mind,” he imagines, “refusing to smell ‘pretty’ or do what’s expected of her. And clearly someone who isn’t confused about her idea of femininity.”

Luckily, this free-spirited lady is a familiar figure in the actor’s life. “My mum’s quite a dominant personality,” he explains, “so I’ve always been very comfortable around girls.”

Somehow, we think the feeling might be mutual.

[From Teen Vogue]

“She’s a girl of her own mind, refusing to smell ‘pretty’ or do what’s expected of her. And clearly someone who isn’t confused about her idea of femininity.” What? That sounds pretty much like Kristen Stewart. Or, it sounds like K-Stew’s front, like how she wants to be seen. But I don’t get the whole “I want to be with a girl who refuses to smell pretty.” How avant-garde! He wants a girl who smells bad so he can lick her armpits. Sparkles, you nasty. I mean, it’s one thing for a guy to be into tomboys and independent women who refuse to conform. But what does he have against a girl who bathes regularly and smells like coconuts?



Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

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76 Responses to “Robert Pattinson, armpit licker, wants “a girl of her mind, refusing to smell ‘pretty’””

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  1. paola says:

    What’s the harm in not wanting to stink?


  2. Sixer says:

    Doesn’t he just mean pretty as not wearing girly perfume, but, say, boys’ perfume? I had a phase of wearing male fragrance when I were young and thought myself so original and non-conformist. Rob probably just needs to grow up. I don’t think he’s licking armpits or owt.

  3. notpretentious says:

    “Sparkles, you nasty!” I howled at that!

  4. nico says:

    I’m confused by the “refusing to smell pretty” part. Does he mean that he wants a girl that is willing to get dirty?

  5. Original Tessa says:

    He could mean that he prefers more sophisticated smells over say, a Victoria’s Secret fragrance from hell. Some “pretty” smells are migraine inducing. I would rather a guy smell like gasoline and sweat than certain colognes you can find at the mall. I think guys can have the same sense about girl’s fragrances.

  6. eliza says:

    The cow is cute. I bet it smells better than Pattinson.

    I think the dude is pretty harmless and probably a nice guy trying to just keep working and shedding his Twilight image. I just can’t get past the fact it looks like someone took a hatchet straight down the front of his face or that he does not favor good hygiene.

  7. raindrop says:

    Disclaimer: I like to smell good. “Pretty”, even. I’m a big fan of essential oils and I enjoy smelling like roses. That said, Pattinson’s evident appreciation of natural human (human lady?) scent is refreshing. Maybe it will even convince a few young girls that, even though there’s nothing wrong with perfume, they smell just fine without it.

  8. MrsBPitt says:

    I think in twenty years, we will be seeing Pattinson and Stewart on a tv show entitled “where are they now?”…

  9. Miss Jupitero says:

    My favorite perfumer is I Hate Perfume, in Brooklyn. They have a perfume that smells like burning leaves, another the smells like newly fallen snow. I too hate “pretty.” All those overdone white flower notes. And I hate scented candles and fake fireplaces. Give me beeswax and burning pine logs.

    • Kiddo says:

      I can’t take anything sweet, as much as I love most real flowers and their scents, I get violently ill from floral fragrances, on myself or from anyone else around. It pierces my brain and splits it. But I’m one of those people with an extraordinary sense of smell, so the woodsier, citrus or spice colognes and parfumes have lower notes that don’t kill me as much. Those tend more to be considered gender neutral or masculine.

    • Nicolette says:

      I haven’t heard of that place, it sounds interesting and worth checking out. Traditional perfumes and a lot of scented candles tend to give me migraines, they’re just too strong and I steer clear of the women wanting to spray a sample in the department stores. I stick with a body spray from Bath & Body Works, it’s a nice soft fragrance. Burning pine logs is one of the best smells ever, I love it.

    • Wren says:

      I’ll take the “real scent” over the fake concocted crap any day. Beeswax and burning pine logs sound like heaven. Eu de Campfire makes me happy.

      I buy rose oil and lavender oil and mix them up with water to spritz on if I want to smell “pretty”. Most perfume gives me a headache, especially since many people seem to be under the impression they need to tip half the bottle over their heads to apply it.

  10. MeganDraper says:

    Sounds like he’s describing Kristen. I wonder when this interview was done. I don’t think he’ll ever shade Kristen in public. I don’t believe he wouldn’t like someone who acts not girly but more girly than her. He likes strong women, someone to challenge him, but Kristen p-whipped him. In time, he’ll get over her.

  11. Hannah says:

    There’s really know way to advertise or speak of a scent without sounding like an utter moron, it seems.

  12. Brailler says:

    From the quote in the article, it’s clear he was referring to how some women are wearing the Dior Homme cologne, even though it is a men’s fragrance. The quote mentions how the cologne has garnered a female fan base.

    • Nikkie says:

      You mean his female fans are buying this for themselves? To smell like Sparkles? That’s taking being a Pattinson fan a little too far.

      • Tig says:

        I don’t think folks are buying it, or any other fragrance, to smell like anybody- you buy it bec you like the way it smells on you. Maybe you try it bec of ad ( bec that’s what it’s for!), and its a bit different for a woman to try a men’s fragrance. I remember running someone down to find out what she was wearing-it was that wonderful. I buy a bottle, and had to give it away- hated the way it smelled on me!! The Dior fragrances I’ve sampled I liked, so hope this one is good.

  13. Lizzie says:

    uhhh i reread this a lot and cannot figure out where he says he wants a girl that refuses to smell pretty. I think he was saying the girls who wear Dior Homme Eau for Men refuse to smell pretty and do what they want because they’re wearing men’s cologne, not because they smell like they haven’t showered in a week.

  14. Anname says:

    This is an interview cobbled together from his previous Dior interviews, not new.

    Love the photos, it’s fun to see him so amused by trying to pull a cow through the snow in this ridiculous cold.

  15. BendyWindy says:

    In the context of the text, they’re saying that the men’s cologne he’s selling has developed a female following as in young women are wearing it. Therefore he’s commenting on women who refuse to smell pretty and flowery and perfumy by wearing men’s scents. He’s not saying he wants unwashed women who stink. I don’t like him much but let’s not misconstrue what he’s saying.

  16. crab says:

    Who cares about him or the perfume! Look at the cow’s beautiful face!! She’s so pretty and gentle looking!!

  17. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    I don’t find him “painfully handsome” at all. I think he’s odd looking and not handsome at all. Now I feel mean, but I just don’t get why he’s such a heartthrob.

  18. Wren says:

    Oh, sweetheart, you can come home with me! I work at a dairy so I’ve got all the cute cows and not-smelling-pretty you could ever want!

    I do shower when I come home though……….

  19. LadySlippers says:

    Very true. Then people start to moan because ‘so & so says the same damn thing in every interview’. Noooo they sometimes don’t — it’s more often because journalists recycle quotes now.

    (So sad though, even in new interviews they’ll pull an old quote without sourcing it)

  20. Jamie says:

    Did anyone actually read the article? He’s commenting on girls who wear the mens fragrance he’s promoting. Not his ideal girl. Pretty different IMO.

  21. bee says:

    The people who comment on here clearly don’t read the articles or keep up to date with film news and Celeb gossip. The comments are so cruel and unnecessary. If you don’t like him why comment? He’s doing really well thank you very much, without the help of the bitter harpies on this site.

    • Hiddles forever says:

      That is a silly statement. Do you think that all people who like Kim Kardashian comment on her threads because they like her?

      Bwahahaha best joke of the day!

      • basil says:

        Nope I think she’s just saying bitter harpies be bitter. I’ve noticed pattinson gets less hate from some female types the more they think there’s been a definitive confirmation that he and Kstew are done.

        Because there hasn’t been one and he hasn’t been seen dating anyone and neither has she, its like they are waiting for the other shoe to drop (like if hey’re seen together, dating, pregnant, or tying the knot) and continuing to throw shade his way…just in case. Lol

  22. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    It all smells like nail polish to me and makes me not able to breathe so I like it when people are considerate enough to not wear perfume; It is a form of indoor air pollution.

  23. Elizabeth says:

    As I was reading this I started wondering how I would wear this cologne. I love Chanel 19, which has some citrus and woodiness. My ex loved it. I now wear Hermes Kelly Calêche. Let me say that my clothes are all from Target & I am at one with Top Ramen, but in perfume as in haircuts: you get what you pay for. I am a female surgeon and it’s a world where feminine and masculine both collide and combine. I figured this guy felt the same. I liked him in Harry Potter…Twilight? Eh, saw the first, detested the story.

  24. Onyx XV says:

    Yep, sounds like he’s still hung up on Kristen Stewart.

  25. nadia says:

    My husband and I share a Cartier scent as well as a Creed scent. They smell very different on each of us. Pretty sure he was talking about the kind of girl who would wear Dior Homme, not the kind of girl whose pits he wants to lick? Then again, it could be one and the same. Oh la la.

  26. kimbers says:

    He had his chance with me years ago when he was using his mastercard to buy coffee and wearing that orange beanie about town while filming lol ;)

  27. Ginger says:

    I used to wear fragrance when I was a teen but didn’t again until a few years ago mainly because I can’t stand Too strong, cloying floral perfumes. Recently I’ve found the spicier scents by Chanel and Michael Kors tolerable enough to wear daily. But I still spray the air and then step into the cloud. If I spray directly on my skin it’s too much. Maybe that’s what Rob means? Otherwise I don’t get it.

  28. jwoolman says:

    Uh, nobody needs to wear a fragrance. You can simply wash… Or use unscented deodorant as well. Or use those minerals that keep the microorganism count low (the real source of unpleasant odors). I’m allergic to artificial scents, which are unfortunately put into everything these days. I really wish people would just wear peppermint oil or something equally edible and innocuous (cinnamon? Citrus? Just not anything floral, please, they make me gag). I did have an idea for unscented perfume, please feel free to run with it if you’re full of entrepreneurial spirit.

    Anyway, I would interpret his remark as just meaning perfume wasn’t necessary, although that seems counterproductive if he’s peddling some.

  29. caz says:

    I’ve been wearing male fragrances & ck one for years …the marketers have only just realised not every woman wants to smell like a flower – hehe I thought I was being individual too!

    Those cows are pretty I want one!