Is Benedict Cumberbatch ‘desperate’ to kill the ‘secret girlfriend’ gossip?

cumberbatch time

As we discussed yesterday, Beyonce covers Time Magazine’s Most Influential People issue. There are multiple covers, of course, but Benedict Cumberbatch did not get his own cover. SADS. Thankfully, Time did release this lovely image of Benedict from their shoot with him last year, when he was promoting The Fifth Estate (and he got the cover of the international editions). Colin Firth did Benedict’s write up – apparently, Colin worked with Wanda Ventham and Timothy Carlton way back in the day, and Firth worked with Benedict on Tinker Tailor as well. Anyway, I just thought you’d enjoy this photo.

Two of our biggest stories last week were about Sir Cumber, and both were from sketchy “reports” via Showbiz Spy about a very alleged “secret girlfriend.” The claim: that Benedict had been dating a non-famous woman for several months and that when “sources” leaked that information, he was “furious.” Well, Showbiz Spy is tripling-down on that story:

BENEDICT Cumberbatch is in panic mode! A source close to the actor told a British magazine that the Sherlock star is doing his best to keep his secret girlfriend a secret. As previously reported on Showbiz Spy, the movie hunk has been romancing a mystery woman for the past few months, and is desperate to keep it under wraps.

“Benedict has a girlfriend,” an insider recently revealed. “He’s keeping it very hush-hush. But it’s safe to say he’s smitten! He’s been seeing the lady in question for the past few months. She isn’t in the public eye, and has quite a serious career, so is keen to remain anonymous for as long as possible.”

Cumberbatch was said to be furious when news of his girlfriend leaked online.

“Ben knows people are interested in his personal life,” a source said. “And he’s happy to discuss certain aspects of it with the media. But he was furious when he found out that someone from his inner circle had been gossiping to the press. He thinks he knows who it was, and is trying to plug the leaks!”

And now he’s doing his best to keep the romance a secret.

“Ben is working overtime trying to keep the romance a secret. He is desperate to make sure they’re not seen together,” said an insider. “He’s obsessed with keeping her private. He knows that his hardcore fans won’t like that he has a girlfriend. Plus, she wants to her privacy. Hopefully it won’t put too much of a strain on the romance.”

[From Showbiz Spy]

Is Benedict this neurotic about NO ONE EVER finding out that he’s dating someone? I don’t think he is. I mean, sure, he probably wants to date in private, and yes, he’s probably aware that his crazy fandom (*raises hand*) will freak out when he gets an official girlfriend. But all that being said, he’s been relatively public about it when he does have a girlfriend in the past. I think once he really falls for somebody, he’ll be fine with being publicly “attached.” Just as long as it’s not some sketchy Russian woman. If another Katia happens, all bets are off. The Cumberbitches will be in full meltdown mode.

Time re-released this video of Benedict’s photoshoot. This is just straight up Cumberp0rn.


Photos courtesy of Time Magazine.

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181 Responses to “Is Benedict Cumberbatch ‘desperate’ to kill the ‘secret girlfriend’ gossip?”

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  1. LB says:

    I loved Colin Firth’s write up. Really sweet to reference his parents.

  2. MissMary says:

    Ugh. More from the sketchy site. Really, it sounds like they’re gearing up for a “oh noes, the relationship failed because of the pressure! That’s why he’s seen solo around town and on his movie set!” Meh. Call me when he and Quinto realize they’d be perfect together and start dating.

  3. blue marie says:

    If he’s been seeing her for the past couple of months, wouldn’t someone have noticed by now? I doubt seriously it would be a secret for long. (unless this is just a reference to Secret Squirrel) I don’t see it happening.

    Anyway, I love Colin Firth and that is a nice photo of Cumby. Really like his coat. Now I must stay away from the posts because the dude appears to be growing on me.

  4. Lark says:

    I love the write up Colin did…and please, Showbiz Spy is so sketch as people above said. While I think he’s a private guy, I don’t think he’s that private in that he would panic about news of a gf getting out (paging the Katia thing). I’m so excited that he’s going to be in a movie that Gary Oldman is directing and also starring in….Two of my favorite Brits (along with Ralph Fiennes). Gary is old enough to be my dad but I would hit it over and over.

  5. mia girl says:

    It’s early, I likely still have sleep in my eyes and and I’m reading while out for a walk, so my phone is bouncing around…

    Which lead me to initially think your headline was asking if he was “desperate to kill the secret girlfriend”. Gasp!

    • j.eyre says:

      She must have threatened to expose his secret novelty sock collection. If news like that got out, he would be ruined – she has to be dealt with.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        How tedious…..sigh. Cumby & I are still a secret—-the Nuns here would never let such a holy secret leak out into the world. They can’t—they’re a cloistered order & their mouths are duct-taped.

        That other bitch, if she exists, must be a beard or at least a moustache. Miss Eyre, would you be a darling & get the riding crop, please? The next person who tries to start a rumor like this must be smacked silly.

      • Hiddles forever says:


        Good post J. Eyre!

      • j.eyre says:

        EsCon, must we review this again? That is not what the riding crop is for.

        And I think adorning the Nuns duct tape with Pasche’s Tongue and Lip Design was positively inspired.

        @Hiddles Forever Belongs to J. Eyre – thank you darling; your laughter is like a ray of sunshine. It’s too bad you have to concatenate your name to fit the space but don’t worry – I shall always write it out in long hand for you. *bisou*

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        Miss Eyre, could you please clarify if that is his wear-on-his-feet novelty sock collection or his trouser stuffing novelty sock collection? I understand they are separate collections as he doesn’t like the socks he wears to be anywhere near his baby maker…

      • j.eyre says:

        Oh, you truly are the sleuth you are purported to be, SS. I know not of this secret sock stuffing collection – is it as vast? Are the characters adorning them as whimsical?

        Surely you are not referring to his dong sweaters? They are kept in tissue in the drawer of his nightstand – the one where he leaves out his copy of Corpus Hippocraticum to impress his dates (and his BFF Tommyanna when he sleeps over)

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        Squirrels can fit into amazingly small spaces, so I see a lot of interesting things from backs of drawers, bottoms of pockets and occasionally shower sponges (although that last one makes my fur poufy).

        Well there must have been a Tommyanna sleep over recently because I think Tom has one of Ben’s trouser sock puppets over in Toronto. The trouser sock puppets are of course from a very private collection. I almost died of fright when I came face to face with the Curious George sock puppet. I don’t think George is curious anymore!!

        Corpus Hippocraticum sounds like a Harry Potter spell. Are you inferring that they dress up as wizards when Tommyanna sleeps over??

      • Janeite says:

        Or maybe now George is more curious than ever, Squirrel! ;)

    • mia girl says:

      That must be it @j.eyre!

      But how would Sr. Crumby pull it off? Is he a poison-in-the-tea-type? Or since he appears to be motocoach-inclined, perhaps he’s a cut-the-brakes kind of fella?

      Or maybe he would be extemely cruel and just starve her of his affections, which would lead many a woman to die of despair.

    • j.eyre says:

      I think we can count out the tea; poisoning it would make the tea undrinkable for him and that’s just wasting money to dump it out.

      Starving her of his affections – its hard to think he could be so cruel. But we may be able to eliminate it by sheer efficacy; even deprived of his outright affection, his luminosity is enough to sustain a beating heart for as long as is necessary. I think I might go with épées, he likes a little bit of the dramatic, doesn’t he? A simple challenge that went horribly wrong? The bonus being it affords him the chance to correct every interviewer who pronounces épée incorrectly.

      Either that or smothering, which he would blame on the cat.

  6. allons-y alonso says:

    1) Colin Firth was just wonderful. Very tongue in cheek
    2) The excerpt seems like a re-hash of old and probably bullshit info from an even more bullshit news source. PR not addressing the rumours makes me believe it’s not true however I think it sucks to have your personal life invaded like that – rumour or no rumour.

  7. PunkyMomma says:

    Cumberbatch and Firth! Firth’s words and My Otter. My day is made. (Kaiser – thanks for the Time cover. Sigh.)

    • kri says:

      Oooh, I love watching Cumby work in front of a camera. It’s all magic and rainbows and singing unicorns! The first time I saw him I thought he was one of the strangest looking I just accept that he is beautiful and delish-and that I won’t be a secret for much longer. It gets tiring, all of this stealthiness.

  8. Jen says:

    How is Benesquatch influential at all? I’m seriously asking. I can’t think of anything he’s influenced, except for some fangirls on the internet.

      • Jen says:

        lmao what stupid reasons. So because his fans raise some money he’s influential? Uh….that can be said for every single actor with a large fanbase. I feel like those Supernatural guys or whoever raise hundreds of thousands of dollars because their fangirls are the craziest. Why aren’t they in Time? He starred in 5 movies? yeah sure, and two were boring and one was a GIANT flop. Need receipts for all the magazines he’s on the cover of selling out. And people buy books he mentions? Ok, yeah, proof of that to please.

        So basically he’s like every single other actor out there. Wow ~so influential~

      • LadySlippers says:


        The list posted was from a fan and should be treated as such. (Not to knock the list but it’s not really encompassing of *why* he’s influential).

        I think perhaps the questions you seek are better answered by what other actors/actresses, directors, writers, producers, etc. etc. say about him. Most fall all over themselves to get him in something, anything, they are working on.

        So while he might have a big fan base, he commands an ENORMOUS amount of respect within the acting world and beyond. Check out what the others have said about him (e.g. Sir Tom Stoppard, Steven Spielberg, Meryl Streep, Gary Oldman, Rebecca Hall, JJ Abrams, etc.) to get the answers you seek.

    • Freebunny says:

      Lol at the bitter tears.
      Is Miley influential? Is Beyonce influential? Are they more important for “society”? Nope.
      It’s just a list published by a magazine, nothing to cry about.

      • Jen says:

        Beyonce and Miley were two of the most talked about people this year around the world (love them or hate them).

        I’m not sure why you’d think I’m bitter or angry, he’s just an actor I don’t really care about outside of ridiculing some of his weirder fans.

      • Freebunny says:

        @Jen And Miley and Beyonce are just “singers”, like he’s just an actor.
        I don’t think any of them are influential but single out Cumberbatch is petty.

      • Beth says:

        “Ridicule?” Ouch. That’s not cool.

      • Nighty says:

        Influential in this case, per se, may have nothing to do with politics or economics around the world… Influential can have a broaden meaning than that : (taken from Cambridge dictionary) influential /ɪn.fluen. t  ʃ ə l/ adjective – having a lot of influence on someone or something
        She wanted to work for a bigger and more influential (= powerful) newspaper.
        Johnson was influential (= important) in persuading the producers to put money into the film.

        So, yes, they have influence, they change people’s mentalities and ideologies with their behaviour, whether it’s for the best or for the worst… Lots of teenage kids want to copy (unfortunately) Miley’s or Bieber’s behaviour, attitudes, clothes, etc…. That’s what idols are for, they shape your personality to some extent..
        As far as Benedict is concerned, he may have influence also whithin the film industry….

    • jammypants says:

      This was fan voted so I feel the list is rigged. Ben’s a great guy, but influential? Puhlease. Same with Beyonce. She is not the first to drop a surprise album. Bowie did it that year in February.

      • icerose says:

        I think that Some actors have clout in the film industry but Ben is not one if them. Stephen Moffat who wrote Sherlock has more clout than him and rightly so. Nothing he has been in recently has been out of the ordinary or shaped the arts significantly. This is all about pulling in readers .The only people he has influence over is his fans. Colin Firth however did a great job in the praise department whilst avoiding the whole issue of influence.

      • LadySlippers says:

        Actually I disagree.

        Moffatt might have pull in the UK but not as much here in the US.

        Sir Tom Stoppard said he was *nervous* about approaching BC because of how good he is. Apparently BC was their first choice for Parade’s End. Moffatt and Gatiss both said it was BC or nothing for Sherlock. I’m sure there are other stories like that.

        Kenneth Branagh became a champion for TH which opened doors. One was Marvel which is a pretty damn big door. But he needs to work on establishing himself outside of Loki — not always an easy task.

        Both men are exceptionally talented and hopefully will have amazing careers. So far their path hasn’t been identical but in reality, what two people ever do?

        Right now Benedict has a touch more respect and gravitas than Tom but that’s NOT indictive of their talent. It’s more a reflection of how their respective careers are unfolding. Nothing more.

        Can we stop all the putting on down to build the other up? Seriously?

      • jammypants says:

        Wait, why are we talking about Tom in this conversation? I simply thought calling Ben influential is a bit silly. And what gave you the impression I’m talking Ben down to build Tom up? where on earth did you even come to that conclusion based on my remark on Ben being considered “influential”? Also, if we’re bringing Tommy boy into this, I also don’t think he has great influence either.

        Another reason why I mentioned Beyonce. Her fans also rigged her poll. It’s a silly thing altogether.

      • Intro Outro says:

        Hmm, i think i will agree with @LadySlippers. I also get this impression that BC has more gravitas (this word is imo more suitable here that influence) than TH in film industry. I also think it has to do with how Ben’s career developed and the roles he got to play. First of all, he played in a bigger number of films, and secondly, his roles are more substantial. However, i doubt either BC or TH are as influential as some fans wish to think they are *sighs*. Both have a looong way to go.

      • Maggie says:

        The poll was fan voted but TIME chose the 100 most influential before the voting was done. The voting was to get people interested in the list and to sound out possible future nominees, perhaps.

        Some of the people who got a lot of votes did not appear in the final list. As I said it was all decided before hand. Don’t forget they had to contact all those people to write the wee tributes to the 100.

        “To assemble the list, we rely on our journalists around the world and our TIME 100 alumni (many of whom are as influential as ever). Somehow, each year the group grows ever more interconnected: when we asked Colin Firth (2011) to write about Benedict Cumberbatch, his first reaction was to recall his early acting days when he worked with Cumberbatch’s parents. Gabrielle Giffords (2011 and 2013) wrote about Malala Yousafzai, who wrote about Hillary Clinton, who wrote about John Kerry. Both of last year’s breakthrough albums from Miley Cyrus and Beyoncé featured tracks produced by Pharrell Williams—who now has his own breakthrough album.

        If there is a common theme in many of the tributes, it’s the eagerness to see what some engineer, actor, leader or athlete will do next. As much as this exercise chronicles the achievements of the past year, we also focus on figures whose influence is likely to grow, so we can look around the corner to see what is coming. So join us for this journey, and visit to hear more of the story behind the stories.”

        I don’t think TIME made it clear enough that the voting would have little effect on who they chose in their final 100. With the result that some people were upset with the results.

      • LadySlippers says:


        Sorry this wasn’t clear but my post was an answer to several posts. I had read a few threads and answered all in one. The BC vs TH was the next thread down.

        Again, my apologies!

      • jammypants says:

        @Lady, ok that makes more sense. Confusion sorted! :p

      • icerose says:

        @ladySlippers it has nothing to do with comparing Tom or Ben or even which has the most gravitas or is praised for his talent. I would have said the same thing if Tom or even Colin Firth had one. For me being influential is either about power or influencing trends through the power of your creativity/words/actions. Neither Tom or Ben have significantly done either. Being a good actor does not make you influential it just means you are in demand and on that score Ben is certainly not as in demand as some. Now Kenneth Brannagh has been influential both from an acting perspective and through the body of films he has produced and directed. In his hey day he could get backing for a film just because of who he was.
        Stephen Moffat is influential because he has power with the BBC and that also carries through into casting. He may not be as high profile as BC but he has still had offers from the states to write for TV out here which he has turned down. Actors may have higher profiles than directors/producers /writers but it is only a handful that have the power to influence what gets made and BC does not have that much clout at the moment. Maybe in 20 years time you might be able to say he changed the way films were made or his style of acting altered a generation of actors or even the films he was in were influential creating new genres but not at present that’s for sure. None of the films/TV he has been it were innovative or exceptional apart from Sherlock and that was down to the writing. Frankenstein had some innovative staging but I have seen a similar style of acting which was equally as good in Berkov’s adaption of Kafka’s Metamorphosis with Tim Roth which precedes Frankenstein. At moment he is a talented actor who is popular and pulls in an audience and that is about it.

      • jammypants says:

        “None of the films/TV he has been it were innovative or exceptional apart from Sherlock and that was down to the writing.”

        The writing is the worst thing about the otherwise flawless show.

    • icerose says:

      I agree -makes no sense to me -I think it is really a plot be the really influential money moguls to keep the masses happy by pretending their heroes actually have some influence when they are really their to distract us from those who really do shape the world.
      I did however see Osage County today and he gave a very credible performance which was a nice contrast to his Sherlock. Having seen this and 12 years I think he is actually very good at playing weak men without over doing it.

      • Katie says:

        Nah, I can see why he’s there. But I think it’s pop cultural influence.

        5 movies in one year, 4 of which were nominated for major and minor Oscars and grossed over $1 billion regardless of quality. A television show that’s now generating $1 billion+ in rights because it’s in 100+ countries. Whether you like Sherlock or not, it’s got incredible reach.

        He’s all over the Internet and very polarized, odd when you consider his age and appearance. That’s influence, just not the political kind.

        The Time poll doesn’t affect the list, so it wasn’t fan affected in that sense.

      • allheavens says:


        Never change but it must be tiring to be that transparent.

      • 'p'enny says:

        @katie “A television show that’s now generating $1 billion+ in rights because it’s in 100+ countries.”

        Can someone tell me where this money is going? and why am i still being forced to pay for TV license?

      • icerose says:

        @allheavens I have no intention of changing -unlike some I differentiate between fanning, critical appreciation and logic. I may like an actors style of acting ,think he is cute or charming but I never confuse it with adulation, and hype as opposed to artistic excellence and innovation.

      • Freebunny says:

        For some reasons, CB posters speaking about artistic excellence and innovation always make me chuckle to myself.

        Like for Hamlet, people debating about how young Hamlet is and should be played by a very young man until someone reminds all the CB’s self-proclaimed Shakespeare specialists that Hamlet is 30 years old in the play….

      • Intro Outro says:


        From what i’ve read and perceived between the lines, lots of CB posters have various University degrees, enjoy nice professions and are quite well-versed in the subjects they’re discussing ;) Which is why i come here, actually. It feels so liberating to read funny smut next to high-brow discussions on artistic excellence and innovation :P

        As for Hamlet’s age – a person can know exactly how old Hamlet is in the text but might fail to grasp the more subtle aspects of the text. Sorry for bringing myself up as an example, but i’m HORRIBLE with remembering dates and years, wouldn’t be able to tell you the dates of birth of my fav musicians, but can rabbit on about various aspects of their music and style and lyrics for hours.

      • Freebunny says:

        @Intro Outro
        I know what you mean but I’m always suspicious when people display their diplomas on an anonymous site or explain they have seen and read everything .
        Maybe I’m too cynical but I dislike the “I know what real art is” attitude. I think the most interesting people are the humble ones who know what they’re speaking about but stay modest about it.

      • Intro Outro says:


        I understand and agree. It’s a tricky subject and one that requires a “case law” approach imo ;) Sometimes people feel the need to mention their education or profession in order to explain why they have a strong opinion on a particular subject. I understand that, too.

      • Sixer says:

        In defence of fellow Celebitches: I’ve never seen anyone announce their job or knowledge or education to give weight to what they are saying. I’ve only seen professions and experience mentioned in the course of conversation – never as a stick to win a difference of opinion.

        The last time I recall Hamlet’s age being discussed, it was regarding the appropriateness of the age of the actors playing him. Then, it was mentioned that the text has him as 30 but, as the First Folio doesn’t include that, perhaps because the role first went to a 30-something Burbage, it’s entirely reasonable to theorise that he should be much younger, even a teenager. As I remember it, this was much more about the discussion on whether older actors should or shouldn’t play Hamlet and there was a degree of irony about the current conversation on age actually being an old one dating from the first life of the play; not some internet dickswinging joust about who knew most.

        Jus’ sayin’.

      • Intro Outro says:

        “I’ve never seen anyone announce their job or knowledge or education to give weight to what they are saying. I’ve only seen professions and experience mentioned in the course of conversation – never as a stick to win a difference of opinion.”

        This is exactly what i meant. Like in the last but one Hiddles post people discussed their love/hate of writing and mentioned their university majors along the way. It was done to place their experiences in context and support their opinions. And it’s completely appropriate imo.

        In the end, it all comes back to the intentions behind what each of us says.

    • allheavens says:

      Damn girl it’s just a list and as an artist Cumby is considered one of the best of his generation. So calm down, he doesn’t have access to the nuclear launch codes.

      • Katie says:

        LOL ‘p’ enny I’m sure a lot of it is wasted, sadly I can’t see the BBC being much different than American networks in that respect. A lot failed initiatives too: that DMI thing alone cost $100 million.

        On a more serious note, what they don’t waste goes into new shows, infrastructure, web services and BBC Radio. I would think the licensing fees collected (3 billion) would maybe cover the base cost of TV programming but nothing else tbh.

  9. TG says:

    I wonder of this guy still looks in the mirror each day to see if he indeed does look good enough for all the attention he gets from fans. I will never understand what people are in him. At least his physical looks.

  10. Lilacflowers says:

    Pictures of Colin, please? Pretty please? Lots of Colin, please?

  11. Shiv says:

    Adore the new photo! Swoon.
    Colin Firth is just adorable. His words made me melt! Love the ‘he must be stopped’ comment. Never!!

  12. Encumbered says:

    Oh, that is a beautiful photo shoot. Still knocks me over when he looks into the camera a couple times–and when he unsuccessfully tries to cover that little bit of leg peeking out. No wonder the photog ruffled his hair….aah….

    Speaking of beautiful, how stunning is his mom! Gorgeous woman, and so delighted that she’s being acknowledged as the “creator-of-our delight” in People mag.

    Someone enlighten me, please–what/who is “Secret Squirrel?”

  13. Just Here says:

    These posts keep sucking me in, lol. But really, “working overtime to keep the relationship a secret”? Who talks like that? And “working overtime” how? He seems to have been travelling non-stop, at least according to the posts here on CB. Frankly, the CumberCollective is being trolled. Someone at ShowBiz Spy is pissing themselves laughing.

    Until definitive photo evidence is presented, there is little to discuss.

    And yet here I am. *looks ashamed*

    Edit: I know! I know! He’s “desperate” to keep his girlfriend a secret because he’s pullin a Simon Cowell and she’s a married woman!

    Hell I should write for ShowBiz Spy…

  14. T.fanty says:

    Good luck to him if he does. I couldn’t fathom living as he and Hiddles do, knowing that their every move is documented on fan sites. The level of knowledge some fans have about his personal life is horrifying, and I would consider it am invasion. I’m starting to hope that he’s banging every Risduon hooker from here to at. Petersburg.

  15. Nighty says:

    Oh for Goodness sake… still with this story? I doubt he has a secret girlfriend but if he does… Good for him….And he should just reveal it if it’s true…. If not, good for him too… Getting tired of this story already…

    • LadySlippers says:

      Agreed. That’s why I was trying really hard not to comment on it. (Obviously failed)

      The write-up is adorable!!!

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        I actually avoided the first posts about a secret girlfriend, but Kaiser is just too good at getting me to take the bait!

        I think it has to be remembered that if he has a girlfriend who is not in the business, then she might want as much privacy as she can, so it is not only up to Ben to decide if/when to announce he is seeing someone. If it were me (and damn that it isn’t!), I would want to wait as long as possible before the fans found out. Whilst majority of BC and TH fans would probably wish them well with a girlfriend, there are the crazies that would make it very scary/tiring/annoying for someone not used to the attention their boyfriend gleans (and who could be used to that sort of attention really??).

      • LadySlippers says:

        Agree 100%.

        And luckily most of these posts have veered off into different directions, per our usual.

        Back to yesterday’s post.

        Should we designate a ‘dog’ or a ‘animal’ park within the fields and grounds? Apparently Miss Eyre is determined to foist them on us, I say, let’s not fight it and create a space for them. Away from us. Ya know? Whatchya think?

      • Nighty says:

        Yes Secret but it’s becoming annoying this story… jeeee
        Let the man be, date, f*ck, or whatever, who he wants, when he wants, if he wants,,,

      • Secret Squirrel says:

        Maybe a private zoo?? Complete with cruel little cages for holding exotic animals and randy English toffs (exotic animals optional!). Feeding time would become a paid spectacle where guests could watch the lads fighting over the scones and chantilly cream (a war could erupt over the whole “you double-dipped your spoon back into the cream pot after licking it” accusation). They would also argue over who would get to be in the cage next to the Jaguar, then feel disappointed when they realize it is a big cat and not a car… Cleaning of the cages/animals/lads would include long hot showers which I personally feel responsible for supervising, you know, as self-appointed Shower Safety Officer!

      • LadySlippers says:


        Agreed. Which is why so many of us create our *own* stories (see all BC & TH posts). They end up being just as factually based as the published ones, so why the h•ll not????

        My dearest Squirrel,

        We already have a petting zoo? Do we really need another such as you described?

        No, no, I meant something to mollify Miss Eyre and her damnable pesky critters she harbors in the house (I mean the small four legged ones not the Gods of Sex on two legs or three. Depending on the God). You know, the ones we Garden Creatures loathe.

        I think we must harness the Power of the Garden — she threatened me yesterday with *shears*. 😡 That means war.

      • Make mine a double says:

        I say the animals can roam free range and only the men are kept in cages. My kind of zoo.

  16. Froop says:

    Is this story still going on??

    Anyway I love Colin Firth and he was a good but unexpected choice for a write up. I’d never heard him say anything about Ben before so would have expected somebody else e.g. Gary Oldman. Loved the ‘He must be stopped’.

    • Boredwithimdb says:

      I might buy the idea that he could have a secret girlfriend if only I could work out how. How and where could they meet without any of the ever vigilant Twitter and Tumblr hoardes noticing?

      Does he pack her in his hand luggage when he travels ? Was she hiding in his publicist’s cleavage at the Oscars (plenty of room for her and a packed lunch there!) does he keep her under his increasingly large flat hats when out and about? Truly tis a mystery worthy of his alter ego.

    • Green Girl says:

      I adored Firth’s writeup, too! It was a nice way to pay homage to Cumby’s parents while also praising Cumby. It also makes Firth look good – like, really good – with the compliments. And the last line gave me such a good chuckle!

      I am also surprised this secret maybe girlfriend is still going on. How is he meeting her anywhere without anyone taking pictures?

  17. 'P'enny says:

    Poor Benny, he is just endless click-bait and we are feeding it. :-( he will be hiding right now in his London pad, quivering in fear of Showbiz and unable to go out …
    ‘rolls eyes’

    he is having a bit a slow time at the moment, and filling it up by being King of PR. If he had a girlfriend would have spent the last four months showboating from LA to Far East? and spending what? a flying week or two in London after New Year.

    Mind you know what they say, if you want to hide something, put in plain sight? mmm

    • EleanorRigby says:

      Although it’s been awhile he’s always acknowledged his “legit” relationships. It’s the “models” and such he tries to hide. “Desperate to keep private” usually backfires.

    • CoffeeCat says:

      A Skype relationship perhaps, ‘P’enny? lol.

    • CoffeeCat says:

      Speaking of hiding things in plain sight… what if BC’s niece is not what she appears to be? Just sayin’… :D

      • CoffeeCat says:

        You misunderstand: I mean that his niece is in fact a secret gf disguised as his niece. Well, well, Uncle Benny, you’re a clever one! :-)

      • 'p'enny says:

        Niece by half-sister?…. that’s illegal! ewwww

        he is either sha@@:”G”ing his Agent, because he can’t resist her hanging out her boobs all the time.

        maybe he is secretly seeing posh-totty daughter of the lesser-known royal family, or the Bransons.

        Maybe he is having an affair and she is secretly married? maybe he is knocking off Amanda, whats her name Martin’s missues while he was filming in states?

        ooor maybe it is Tom Hiddles after all and it’s a cover up.

      • Ellen says:

        @ “p”enny covering up for Hiddles? Why? If it’s that music exc fangirl woman then she doesn’t sound like she wants to be hidden. According to someone on tumblr her favourites on twitter reads like a fangirls and she’s done it again. If he has got a secret girlfriend I hope it’s not her. I seem to get a bad feeling from her and she could wind up other fangirls (don’t deny the fact-she is one) like fassy’s ex.

      • 'p'enny says:


        LOL no i mean’t he is secretly dating Hiddles, but i now i read back i know why it was misconstrued. heheheee.

      • Ellen says:

        Edit: talking to someone on Twitter not tumblr ga! And the bad feeling is if it’s true she acts like this. (Might give Jim a run for his money in the fan fic race)
        Maybe I should hire a proof reader.

        What I’m trying to say is that I doubt either of them would date a fangirl or a fangirl that doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut.
        It’s also a pity if either if them date an opputintist.
        If they date either of the above I wish them luck. I would hate to be in a position not to know if someone is genuine or not.

      • CoffeeCat says:

        Y’know, when you come to think of it, dating/marrying a rabid fangirl isn’t as bad as it may appear at first glance. A fangirl would make a perfect wife for a celebrity: everything would be forgiven, everything would be forgotten. A hubby is traveling across the globe for months doing cons, award ceremonies, movies and such? Fine! A fangirl wife would be sitting by the fireplace, knitting socks for their children and patiently waiting for him to return. *eyeroll* While an intelligent, independent, strong, self-respecting woman (which BC claims to prefer, lol) would strongly object to being a grass widow, as it were.

        Of course there is a risk that one day the rose tinted glasses would fall off and the fangirl would stop being a fangirl but that’s another story, folks…

  18. EleanorRigby says:

    A middle-aged man trying to have a middle-aged relationship in a world of adolescent fury. I wish you good luck, dude. Hope you can pull it off.

  19. CoffeeCat says:

    Oh puhhhlease, Showbiz Spy, it’s getting old and pathetic to boot. Rehashing the same idiotic story over and over… sheesh. If you have some tea on the guy, go ahead and spill it! And if you don’t have any – and I believe this is the case – unleash your imagination, will ya? How about the story about the broom closet encounter? Come on guys, you can do better than that!

  20. Abby_J says:

    Cumby doesn’t always do it for me, but that video is amazing. Sometimes I get the love, and sometimes I don’t. That video? I do!

    That said, I would throw him and Hiddles overboard for Colin Firth. He is so dreamy.

  21. itsetsyou says:

    Okay, now, give me one reason why Tom hasn’t been on the cover of Time magazine yet?

  22. Abby says:

    Lmao this mess is still going on.

  23. J says:

    Hi guys,

    totally random question but i’m trying to follow these threads/comments using an RSS reader on my phone and i’m new to it/it doesn’t seem to be working. is there an app fellow iPhone users like? mine seems to be finding the new stories but not picking up all of the comments effectively :(

  24. Ellen says:

    It’s turning in Spartacus on heresy the moment.
    “I’m Benny’s secret girlfriend”
    “No I’m Benny’ secret girlfriend, he doesn’t know it yet”

    Best quote so far is that ‘Benny’s girlfriend is so secret that she doesn’t even know she’s dating him yet’. LMAO this sums up what I think of this none story completly

  25. blended says:

    does anyone know why lainey keeps slagging our cumby off every chance she gets? she’s even done it on her show ‘the social’ (it’s only in canada). the only thing she ever alludes to is the fact that she thinks he’s unattractive, but that’s hardly a reason for her to be so bitchy. just wondering.

    • Lark says:

      I like Benny for the most part, but he’s given some pretty stupid and posh answers to questions about social class. Also, while I 100 percent believe his distant family history shouldn’t be held against him or dug up he gave a couple of cringe-worthy comments (although he meant well) about having relatives who were slave owners back in the day. Something about his mother worrying about him using his real name because people who were enslaved by his ancestors might notice (and it was implied asked for monetary gain). Again, 100 percent saying he is in no way responsible for his great grandfather or whatever and he did say quite eloquently that it was a despicable, barbaric practice BUT I can see that comment plus some of his posh comments on social class rubbing Lainey the wrong way. I’m a POC and while nothing he said bothered me, I did cringe that he so casually repeated that comment his mother said too….

      • blended says:

        lots of her ‘fave’ celebs have said problematic things (goop, scarjo, beyonce, tom hardy, etc.). in fact if you look hard enough ALL celebs have said something objectionable. they are human after all. i honestly think it’s only because she thinks he is unattractive. quite possibly the most shallow way to judge another human being. i don’t care for lainey in general.

    • jammypants says:

      She slags off everybody, honestly.

    • Lola says:

      I was under the impression – just my opinion – that even though she does not blame him (BC), she is of the opinion that him reading the lyrics to R Kelly’s song was inappropriate, especially with or due to R Kelly’s court cases.

      • blended says:

        it was sarah her contributor who wrote the r.kelly article. lainey hardly ever writes about him herself. when she does it’s always with a snide remark. i’ve been reading lainey for years. she always has a concrete reason for hating on a celeb, even when i don’t agree. but with cumby, it seems all about his looks.

    • Katie says:

      @ blended, we have a winner LOL!

      All celebs mess up, him included, but he’s not done anything truly horrendous. It would not be an issue if he was more attractive going by how quickly people forgive attractive domestic abusers and the like.

  26. Lola says:

    The “re- harsh story” … -0.00 cents
    The fan fiction (or truths that have not yet been realized) … PRICELESS!

  27. Raven says:

    I would bet that Benedict isn’t even aware of this story, or the fact that he has a secret girlfriend.

  28. FlaviA_deluce says:

    I wish he would get a girlfriend. Him being out there and single is extremely distracting.

  29. Petra says:

    Poor Benedict Cumberbatch. He can’t even have a secret girl-friend…