It feels like forever since I’ve written about Shailene Woodley. Did you miss her? Last year saw a fast and furious press run where Shai gushed about dancing with “hairy pits” and “war paint“ and introduced her sunshine vadge. There was a messier era where Shailene displayed confusion over the definition of feminism, which happened with a lot of starlets last year.
Shai covers the April issue of Glamour UK to promote Insurgent, which I’m not looking forward to watching. This second book was awful compared to Divergent, and it put me off reading the third book. This shoot includes some saucy photos, which you can see here. Shailene’s still wearing her short hair in an unflattering style. I don’t think she plans on growing it out. In this interview, she covers some decent ground. Is she hinting that 50 Shades producers pursued her for the lead role?
She gets into sex scenes: “I’m totally comfortable with nudity. I’m not sure it empowers me as an actress or anything, but if I’m going to do a movie with sex scenes, then I’m going to be naked, because I don’t know about you, but I don’t have sex with bras and panties on.”
European vs. US attitudes on sexuality: “Part of the reason I love Europe is that sexuality is no big deal there. You go to a topless beach and the dudes aren’t checking out your t*ts, because they’re just boobs. [In America] sex is something that’s not talked about — yet it’s in our faces more than anything else. In school, rather than teach you about sex, they tell you about abstinence, which doesn’t work.”
She was approached for Fifty Shades? “I wasn’t really interested … I’d already signed on for Divergent anyway,” she explains. “Also, I’d read the book and thought, ‘If somebody really can pull this off and make a movie out of it, they will be the biggest genius.'”
Her sister,
Kate RocknrollWinslet “When we started doing press for the first [Divergent] film, she sent me this beautiful email … Kate has become like an older sister to me. I know she’s got my back. I’ve got hers, too.”
[From Glamour UK]
This girl loves to get her kit off for movies. She’s raved about her marvelous rack before, and she feels more authentic taking it all off with her co-stars. I assume these dudes are fine with it, so why not?
Shailene does have a point about the futility of teaching abstinence in schools. Teenagers are going to do whatever they want no matter what, so parents and teachers may as well teach them the practicalities. That’s just common sense.
Photos courtesy of Glamour UK, Lionsgate & WENN
What about that cover is glamorous? Horrible horrible styling.
I flinched when I scrolled down to her pants. Atrocious.
Aiyeee – yes, atrocious is the best description. Whole cover is atrocious really. These are like the Jessica Simpson chili cook off pants LOLLLLL.
Those pants would only work on someone uber-skinny. They’re not meant to be attractive, just be less hideous on her figure than they would be on anyone else.
Teaching abstinence was never believed to work that well by itself… hence the use of chaperones.
Abstinence does work. If you don’t have sex you won’t get pregnant. Teaching people only abstinence doesn’t help those who intend to have sex avoid the consequences. Both should be taught because condoms don’t prevent herpes and they do break (hullo) and you need to understand how that would feel and what you would do if that happens.
There are people with HIV now because the condom broke just like there are women who have had abortions when the condom broke.
Kids will always take what you give them and go forward one step. If you say “try not to have sex but if you do” that’s as good as saying “go have sex”.
I’m not anti-sex or you have to be married to have sex. I just know how immature teenagers are in the west and most of them couldn’t deal with a life threatening disease.
Liz – Your point is well taken, but when people say that abstinence doesn’t work, they mean that *promoting* abstinence doesn’t work. Sex happens. And then it happens again. Sex ed and condom availability at least gives the kids a fighting chance to not get pregnant or contract STDs (or be exploited out of naiveté).
Abstinence only doesn’t work.
Telling teenagers to not have sex but if they do they should use protection – that doesn’t work either because it is a contradictory message.
Teach teenagers the facts of life and tell them to not let anybody pressure them into having sex. Now that is more realistic.
My parents never gave me ‘the talk’. I was very curious as to what sex was all about. When I asked I was told that it was something that you can’t do until you are married, but then, in movies, it looked like so much fun. Of course, being a teenager, you want to have fun, you sneak cigarettes and alcohol and you want to know about sex.
In any event, every time I came home from a date, my mother would ask me if we’d had sex. To the point that even now, in my 40s, and married for 20 years, if my mother asked me, I would still say no.
By the way, I started dating my husband at 15, got pregnant and married at 19. I don’t regret it, but I think that if more options and open mindedness was available, this probably wouldn’t have happened.
Abstinence ONLY works if people are actually..abstinent. Which has NEVER, in the history of mankind, been a viable option. People have sex: Teenagers, young adults, adults, even pre-teens (as much as people might not want to acknowledge it). My parents NEVER had “the conversation” that needed to be had in the terms it needed to be had in, and I expect that I am not alone in that regard. TEACH IT IN SCHOOL. Make FREE birth control and prophylactic devices FREELY available, no questions to whoever wants them with no shame or judging. The only TRUE shame is refusing to acknowledge that this is an issue that needs to be dealt with not just personally, but socially and governmentally at every level. The money saved vs. the money spent for free birth control is enormous~look at how successful the pilot birth control program in Colorado has been.
Now I know I’m old. Back in my day, it was our parents that gave us the “birds and the bees” talk. These days, kids are taught sex by rote. Abstinence absolutely does work, it’s just really hard. Especially these days when sex is in your face 24/7. Hormones are hormones (always have been) and kids have been having sex younger than their parents would prefer since…oh, forever. That’s very true. So there is some merit in teaching kids about it. Although I don’t understand the virtue in teaching kids about the mechanics of it (that works itself out) but rather the emotional side of it (which many young people are not prepared for). There was a period of time when young people mistook sex for love. Maybe they still do. Now, many just consider it a benign act with no meaning, like washing your car. I’m not sure how I feel about it, except to say that sex is natural. It will occur naturally. The “bird n’ bees” conversation with our parents made it embarrassing. But having it taught in schools sucks all the passion and romance out of it. I dunno.
I think parents expect everything out of schools instead of being participants in kids’ education. Just because a school teaches math, it doesn’t mean parents cant help their kids solve a problem in a different way. And likewise, if the school teaches anatomy and physiology in sex education, it doesn’t preclude the parents from addressing all of the emotional/psychological elements attached to that. People have varying degrees of sex drive and opportunity, so the idea of teaching abstinence alone is a foolhardy measure that does not work in a one size fits all measure.
I wrote a research paper on abstinence only sex education for one my college classes last semester and i found out some absolutely horrifying things about how abstinence only education is implemented in schools. To put it in a nutshell, these programs are often taught with false information (having sex increases the risk for breast cancer, condoms break every single time, and many more…) and the people teaching these programs are usually not qualified to do so.
I agree that there is merit to teaching abstinence but it becomes exceptionally problematic when that is the one and only focus. Of course no one is advocating for the mechanics of sex to be taught but kids should learn about proper contraception and STDs because there will be some people who are still curious and want to try it. Unfortunately, years of false information and bad education often leads to risky, unprotected sexual behavior and things like pregnancy result out of that.
My niece had some sex ed people come to her school. They handed out pamphlets with all kinds of crazy crap that is in no way true. And tons of made up statistics. Example—93% of all people currently incarcerated say their life of crime began with looking at pornography. My sister was IRATE. She called the company that was doing the teaching and gave them the what for. She demanded to see these studies and asked where they found time to interview every person in prison in the US. They of course had no answers. She then went behind them and explained it to my niece in a more thorough way. But most parents are too scared to talk about sex with their kids. So they don’t know jack about it before they do it. I think abstinence should be encouraged but I’m also a realist.
I went to catholic school. They told us that guys who have sex before marriage will get the clap and we had a woman tell us she couldn’t have orgasms as a wife because he sex she had before marriage turned her vagina into leather. It’s terrible stuff
My parents sex talk consisted of “if we don’t mention it, then she won’t know about it”. When I got pregnant, I remember thinking, “Well, I CAN’T get pregnant, because I don’t want to be right now.” I honestly thought that if I thought or wished that I wasn’t then it wouldn’t happen. Nine months later I had a beautiful, healthy baby and realized that there was some fault to my logic, lol. The following year when I got pregnant again, I told my husband that I thought I had finally figured out how it happened!
I see what you’re saying, tifzlan. I don’t really have a “stand” on the issue, because the issue really is so complicated. It’s not cookie-cutter. Children reach puberty at different times, hormone levels differ, maturity levels are different, the households they grow up in are different, the people they hang out with are different, the evel of peer pressure is different. There are so many variables. I don’t think, however, there is any virtue in teaching kids the “mechanics” of sex. It is a natural and completely subjective thing. What what be acceptable to one person is not to another. What might be pleasurable to one person is not to another. I think human instinct and natural sexual curiosity takes care of the “mechanics” themselves. As to disease and pregnancy prevention, yes – that should be taught, along with abstinence (the ultimate protection against disease and pregnancy). But we shouldn’t use scare tactics. We shouldn’t lie. Nor should we push a particular sexual agenda or treat sex so casually. What I think a lot of these sex education classes are missing is the emotional component and also the social repercussion components. Children should be given full information (minus the de facto Karma Sutra lessons) and then – in concert with their parents, pastors, community leaders or mentors (whoever) – make a decision about sex that is right for them personally.
I had the bees talk. My parents were embarassed.
I think having a stranger who explains you everything you need to know to be safe, allows you to feel more comfortable and ask questions for example.
For the emotional side…well I am 34 and I think it’s a lifetime experience and you can’t teach that stuff you have to live it.
You can teach some things, although you can’t make a person ‘feel’ what they have yet to experience. But subjects such as coercion and manipulation could be addressed. Kids may not grasp the concept of love, and may have sex when they are not ready because, there are strings attached, etc like if you loved me, you’d do this. Or I want this because I love you, which can be a lie. KWIM? Part of it could be using critical thinking skills while being overwhelmed by feelings or hormones. It’s probably something that needs to be addressed more than once.
I went to two different high schools, and they had TOTALLY different approaches to sex ed. But the schools were both in the same state. One of them was focused on promoting abstinence, and one of the things the textbook taught was the myth that abstinence= self-respect. The teacher, even though he was a nice and respectable person and for the most part a good teacher, even went into a weird little mini-lecture that implied that women wearing revealing clothes (like belly shirts- that’s the example he used) is what’s making teens have sex so women shouldn’t be dressing that way; and there was also a little debate about whether or not it’s ok for people to have sex for pleasure or how much sex people should be having. (Most of the classmates were smart and had open-minded views though).
I have no problem with abstinence itself, whether it’s abstinence until marriage/engagement, abstinence until a certain age (without the implication of “You need to be having sex by this age, or else you’re a freak”), or abstinence until in love and committed, but it matters how it’s taught. Teens are not complete idiots- a lot of them do think for themselves and know when adults are trying to indoctrinate them with some false kind of moralistic agenda or trying to make their decision for them, especially if your agenda contains some outdated tropes. And once they sense that that’s what’s going on, they may take you and your class less seriously, or even take a defensive approach to what you’re teaching and become more concerned about making sure their other classmates don’t fall for what you’re teaching then actually learning facts about sex in your classroom. Abstinence needs to be taught not as the only option, from an honest approach (rather than a doom and gloom ‘sex is bad and ruins lives’ approach), and the reasons need to be realistic ones that don’t ascribe a value to people based on when they start having sex.
The other high school I went to had a better approach to sex ed. Abstinence was taught as a valid option, but not the only one. Masturbation was taught as a healthy, normal way to begin experimenting with sexual pleasure for people of both sexes, we were taught facts about sex, pregnancy, and protection, the sex-ed was not exclusive to heterosexual people only, we were taught about consent and abusive relationships, and had discuss ions about marriage equality and debates about the age of consent. There was no reason to feel defensive in that classroom, or pressure to feel like you had to make sure your peers weren’t falling for a bunch of ignorant, intolerant nonsense. You felt like you could relax, learn, and talk. And the teacher was a feminist to boot! She was so freaking cool. 🙂 I do think her being a feminist is part of what shaped the direction the sex-ed class went in. She didn’t volunteer the fact that she was a feminist to the class, (there was this thing about people not wanting teachers to have too much of an influence on our political beliefs) but I found out later.
I don’t think morality has a place in the abstinence teaching in public schools. But as you said, one method of not acquiring STIs and of avoiding pregnancy. No one is better for being a virgin, no one is worse for not being a virgin.
What exactly do you mean when you write “Abstinence absolutely does work”? Is it on a personal level? If it is, OK. Good for for you. But statistically teaching abstience really does not work. There is a reason why the US, as a Western society, has such a high level of teenage pregancies compared to other Western societies where teaching abstinence is not that common (Europe). Teaching kids about sex (and safe sex!) and that they should set their own limits and be in control of their own bodies and sexuality is what works! Not feeding them lies and making them ashamed of their natural sexuality and instincts!
Hi Mira – I meant abstinence absolutely does work in terms of not getting pregnant or sexual transmitted diseases. However, I also acknowledged that is difficult to do, therefore “safe sex” must be taught.
I’ve been to beaches in Europe where women went topless and I disagree with her. They most definitely get attention. Maybe not comments but a lot of looking. I saw a group of young French men “subtly” taking cell phone pics.
Really? I’ve seen loads of topless women on beaches here, and while they maybe get a few looks, I’ve never seen anyone be upset, or taking pictures. The same with naked toddlers and men in speedos, which is apperently also frowned upon.
We also have a lot of naturist beaches, so ocasionally seeing completely naked people isn’t shocking either.
Well I’ve never seen anyone upset, just disagree that boobs get no attention whatsoever. Of course Europe is a big place too 🙂
Totally agree and love the less uptight attitude about bodies in general. Lately I’ve gone frequently to beaches in turkey and my son (2) can be naked and my daughter (6) just in a bottom and no one cares. In the US it seems even toddlers have to be covered up.
I’m Europen and nobody cares about topless women here. Sure some will look, but they look at those in bathing suits too. Beautiful women get attention in all situations. But somebody having issues or stare at women just for being topless? Nah.
But Europe is so damn big, it’s a CONTINENT, for Christ’s sake, so experiences vary from country to country. Where are you from, France, Italy, Greece, Bulgaria…? It makes a huge difference where you are from, mentalitywise.
You are right Sauvage, but since Shailene talked about Europe as whole, I did too. I meant Croatia, specifically.
I’m from Europe and I agree with Crocuta. I’m from Denmark but have been to the beach in Spain, Italy, Croatia, France, UK, The Netherlands, Sweden and Norway.
The topless beaches I’ve been to along the Mediterranean, no one gave a rats ass about boobs.
Suavage: I’ve been to the seaside of France, Italy, Spain, Slovenia, Croatia, Bulgaria and Turkey. I don’t sunbathe topless myself and I wasn’t particularly paying attention to this phenomena, but topless women are common and nobody seems to care much, except (out of the ones I mentioned) of Turkey (or so I’ve heard). I have also bathed in a lake in Finland and Finns cared even less for boobs than southern Europeans, I suspect because they see each other (= friends) naked in saunas anyway. But that’s just my guess. So if you speak of Europe in general, topless isn’t particularly frowned upon, although there might be exceptions. There always are.
I can’t with kate rocknroll winslet. like I crazy love her and have since I watched titanic, but I can never get over she married someone with that actual name.
I’m strangely looking forward to Insurgent. the thing is, the movie for divergent was incredibly smarter compared to the mess of the book, and at least from the trailers insurgent seems to be an even more improvement in the visual department and they changed enough (or so it seems with the box and the better visual style for the simulations) to make it neat than the book!
And yes, she was approached for 50 shades! I remember the rumors and the casting and she was one of the names. loving the shade she threw too!
The hair is still a mess, I wonder if she will keep it short until she finishes shooting for the final movie of the series, she went on record saying she refused to wear a long wig for the entire run of the movie cause she thinks it looked too fake and didnt like it.
Teaching safe sex doesn’t work either! I have given my daughter a supply of condoms and the majority of the time she forgets or even let’s the guy talk her out of using it. Accordig to her not many people her age even bother with condoms. It was that way when I was her age, as well. Horny people are dumbasses which explains the out of control std situation.
i think this is a problem even with older people, i’ve definitely met guys 25-35 who wouldn’t wanna know about condoms.
First off, I’m applauding you for educating your kid! I was a teenager just a few years ago and TRUST ME, it helps.
My guess is even if a boy talks your daughter out of a condom, she understands the risks, because it sounds like you’re making sure of that.
I’m also a firm believer that all it takes is one close pregnancy scare for it to “click” for sexually active young women. At least most of us. Nothing beats that relief when you realize you’re NOT qualified to apply for Teen Mom 7!
I agree, but being a single mom – even a young single mom – doesn’t have the stigma attached to it like it did when I was a teenager. Back in my day – aka “the dark days” (I guess) it was rare for a girl in high school to get pregnant and if she did, she suddenly “disappeared” from school and everyone gossiped about her and her reputation was ruined. Say what you want, but that’s how it was in those days. These days, teenage mothers get their own reality shows! How times have changed. And many people – in particular, single Hollywood actresses or celebrities – often treat their children (whether natural or adopted) as fashion accessories. They are the new “mini dogs”. It’s sickening, really. Yes, of course, there are still plenty of young women out there that are scared by the thought of becoming pregnant before they are ready to take on the responsibility fully (married or not), but culture has changed. And not necessarily for the good. I know far too many single working mothers who are struggling to feed and clothe their kids. They are great Moms, they do their best, but the guilt they feel in not being able to provide their kids with more is an unspoken tragedy that these women suffer.
How does it work in American schools? Do they teach complete abstinence?
Here, we learned about the reproductive system, types of protectiond and STDs in biology in primary school, and we also had a gynecologist come and talk about it.
Then in high school we talked about it in more detail, and had medical students teach a seminar about it ( they showed us hw to put a condom on a banana wich we found hilarious, of course ).
It depends on the school system and the town. Some are similar to what you described with detailed discussions of all types of contraceptive methods. Others barely a mention of how the reproductive system works and heavy emphasis on abstinence.
I went to catholic school from first to eight grade where we were taught that you should wait until marriage to have sex, though my mom always made sure I knew that it was completely my choice (she didn’t want to be hypocritical since she was four months pregnant with my sister when she was wearing a white wedding dress in a church lol) and that if I was in love and wanted to be intimate, that I should take precautions i.e. birth control, condoms, etc. In my public high school, during our sex education class, we were taught about the different types of contraceptives in detail and how to practice safe sex.
In the US the religious people get so up in arms about any sex education being taught that many schools either give almost no information for fear of parental reaction or even worse abstinence based misinformation.
My experience in school back in the early 90s was really clinical and not that informative but condoms to prevent STDs was emphasized.
Thank god for my mothers copy of ‘Our bodies ourselves’
In the two American public school systems my kids have been in, they don’t teach complete abstinence. What you’ve described sounds very similar to what they’ve learned. I think abstinence only is taught mostly in religious schools, although there are advocates for abstinence only education who are trying to get it into the public schools. Similar to the creationists wanting to change the textbooks.
Taught for 30 years in the public school system. And it does vary. Unfortunately it only takes one parent complaining enough to shut something down. We had an English teacher do a unit on The Joy Luck Club. She did everything right. Sent home permission slips (and this was for Sophomores in high school), had an alternate project for the students to do if the parents didn’t want their child participate, when nudity was shown in the movie (or any other questionable scene) she turned the tv around so that the students didn’t see it and she still got shut down because of one parent. It’s sad that we can’t teach the children safe sex. When I was pregnant with my third child, there were at least 20 girls in the school pregnant at the same time. With my daughters, I taught them to be safe. With my second daughter (as I did with the other two), I constantly told her that if she was going to be sexually active then I would get protection for her. Didn’t mean a thing – she became pregnant at 16. Too many parents depend on the school system to do the jobs they should be doing and then when something goes wrong blame the system.
We all had bananas on our desks and 3 condoms. I went to a public school in suburban western Pennsylvania. They didn’t pretend like we weren’t going to do it, or weren’t already. We got the hard facts. This is how you do it, this is how you protect yourself, yada yada.
I think that’s great!!!
When I was in elementary and middle school – in the 1970’s – there was no sex education. At least not where I went to school in New England. All there was in the 5th grade was a single class, in which the boys were asked to leave, where the teacher talked to us about menstruation. The teacher, a woman, was extraordinarily vague about it, using words like “discharge”. What the heck is “discharge?” She never explained. A bunch of us, after class, debated what “discharge” was – and the consensus was that it was throw-up (vomit) – at which point we decided we never wanted to grow up. I remember the day I got my first period – in 1976. I was in a tree at the time (climbing it) and I noticed blood trickling down my leg. I thought I scraped myself on a branch and ran into the kitchen to show my mother. That’s when her ambiguous, vague “talk” about periods came. She simply said this is what happens to girls. I cried. I said it was not fair. I asked how long it was going to last. She said “until you’re about 50″. Man, did I start wailing!!! (I thought she meant it lasted continuously, every day until I was 50!”) I said “that’s not fair!! Why do girls have this? Why don’t boys have this?” My mother said (and I quote) “boys have ‘other’ things.” I asked what other things. In my mother’s timid way she said “they point”. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. Clearly she was talking about inopportune erections, but I was thinking more along the lines of an extended index finger and thinking “whoopee doo.” And back then, there were no mini pads. There was only the ginormous Kotex pad….with “the belt”. I was told that tampons were only for “married women”. :::::shudders::::::
It’s interesting when she says that in America you can’t talk about sex, yet it’s shoved in your face 24/7. I see the same in my country. Sex is everywhere, yet people don’t actually talk about it, I kinda call it a “plastic sexuallity”.
Am I the only one who thinks this actress is quite ugly? It’s not a problem at all, but I sometimes see people calling her pretty and it makes me wonder.
I agree that she’s not “classically” pretty but I believe there should be room for different looks in Hollywood. My issue is when she tries to be sexy.. she lacks sex appeal imo.
I think it’s about time to Hollywood open their doors for different looks, although I do see this chick as ugly, even for non classical standards.
Abstinence have NEVER worked (and it has been taught since Middle Ages) and never will. It is just better to talk about STDs and unwanted pregnancies and how to prevent them, plain and simple and without silly euphemisms. If I had kids I would do it this way.
@spaniard how does it not work? If you don’t have sex, you won’t get pregnant, period. That’s how babies are made and it’s the only option with a 100% success rate. It’s just extremely difficult so maybe you meant to say it isn’t realistic to only teach abstinence?
That’s what i meant. It is not realistic trying to convince not only teens, but everybody to not have sex.
Sorry but english is not my language and sometimes I have problems to express myself coherently.
There is a significant amount of research that shows virginity pledging is not effective for keeping U.S. teens abstinent.
If I were in charge of HS sex ed, I would encourage abstinence and at the same time teach all the details about sex, pregnancy and contraception and provide free confidential contraception to all high schoolers in the U.S.
But I disagree with Bedhead that parents and adults that kids respect cannot influence teen’s behavior or that abstinence does not work. FX, there is a lot of evidence that adults can impact whether or not their kid smokes cigarettes. And to declare that abstinence does not work flies in the face of the facts which is that in 2013 about 50% of US high schoolers were either virgins or had abstained from sex. And in the U.S., teen pregnancy rates have declined since the 1990’s while virginity and abstinence rates have increased. Something is causing these rates to improve but how sad that no one knows why. They only know what is not contributing to improvements.
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/pdf/ss/ss6304.pdf, table 63
I didn’t see the first movie, and I won’t see this one either.
Absolutely I think there should be better sex Ed programs out there, but I still think abstincence should also still be talked about in schools. Like it or not, it a way to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs. It just shouldnt be the ONLY option kids are hearing.
Yes, because it actually does work if someone chooses to go that route. Saying abstinence itself does not work is nonsensical. If it isn’t even presented as a realistic option then it won’t be considered as such.
I feel like I should probably look at her outfit on the cover and thing, blah, but I find it kind of cute and wish I had the figure to pull something like that off for spring (also, I am probably 15 years too old to pull it off). That said, the haircut on her does not work just as it does not work on the Cockatoo to girl (can’t remember her name).
I did not miss this chick and I hate seeing her on my tv screen for her crappy movie lol
haha me too.
A Lister?
when did the definition of being on the A List get revamped to include every starlet who “acts” in a bad trilogy?
remember when A Lister meant… excellent acting skills?
I actually think this girl can act, I saw the The Fault In Our Stars. She was outstanding! The same goes for her performance in Spectacular Now. But I do have a preference for teen-dramz with an indie flavour 🙂
She is fine, for what she does, but A List?
It’s lost it’s meaning, to me.
Just watched “A Normal Heart”- wow, how fast has HIV/AIDS fallen off folks’ radar? At a minimum, STD prevention and condom useage should be taught along with abstinence. And don’t wait till high school-12 and up should hear this. In this age of naked selfies and the like, I am so happy not to be parenting a tween- those people have my deepest sympathy!!
It is in public schools, and definitely before high school.
Happy to hear that’s the case where you are-definitely not in the case in public schools in some parts of the U.S.!
If you go topless to a beach of course guys will be checking your boobs. It true that we are more comfortable with nudity that Americans but if she thinks that men won’t stare at her breasts she’s delusional.It’s human nature.
Except she’s talking about the nude beaches where everyone is naked and don’t pay attention to each other.
Waitresses, store clerks, classmates, friends–they tell me I look exactly like this girl. I don’t think she’s particularly pretty but I have to admit, it’s as if we’re twins.
She’s right–abstinence doesn’t work. It goes against human nature, its wiser to educate.
@murphy condoms and birth control go against human nature, wearing clothes etc there are a lot of things that we do that go against our instincts because we know it’s better that way. It’s what separates us from animals, we’re not just a collection of instincts and have the ability to think above them. Well, I guess I can only speak for myself…but anyway, it’s technically the only method that prevents STDs and pregnancy 100% so it does work, it’s crazy to say it doesn’t, it’s just difficult.
Go put you head in the sand….we’ll be over here in the 21st century having safe, responsible, loving, respectful conversations about sex and relationships.
On a semantic level, I’m going to presume that everyone seems to be saying “abstinence doesn’t work” as a shorthand for “teaching abstinence as the only option does not work.” Abstinence itself obviously does work, and it’s always worked well for me.
The only other comment I wanted to make is that there are asexuals, or people who just have low libidos, and it’s not necessarily a sign of unhealthy repression to NOT be having sex. For some of us, it’s not that difficult at all. I know it’s the minority viewpoint, but just wanted to put it out there.
🙂
I can’t disagree with Woodbeaver Vagine on this. But I do wish people would USE condoms consistently because the number of STD cases that come through my small town hospital is staggering. I’m not violating HIPAA here, I’m just saying, holy crap it seems like it’s worse than ever.
I was taught abstinence only in catholic school in the US. The facts they gave me even at 14 seemed false to me. I didn’t have sex until I was 18 but honestly, it was because I didn’t find a boyfriend until then. I have noticed the majority of my friends in the US find 18 to be old to lose your virginity, which means most do so in their teens, when sex education is not discussed correctly.
I have known some people in the US who are extremely religious who marry within 6 months just to have sex. It’s mind boggling to me to pledge your entire life to someone JUST to have sex.
Sex education needs to involve discussing stds and condoms to a great length. I know plenty of people in the Us who were mis-informed/scared to get condoms etc ended up with stds because they had pre-assumptions “only trashy/slutty people got stds etc”. Same goes for birth control. Some women refuse to take it because they think it will make them fat then get surprised when they get pregnant. I really would like all of this naivete in the US to come to an end regarding sex.
I’m from a very Catholic country and know many very religious people, but I never met anyone who waited to get married to have sex. I know people who only slept with the person they married, or who waited for the right person or to be in love, but I don’t know anyone who actually lost their virginity on their wedding night.
I moved to the SE when I was 18 for college and a lot of Protestants wait until marriage to have sex, specifically evangelicals/Pentecostals. I also find it risky to only sleep with one person before you get married, but that is just me and my opinion.
@charlie I know people who waited until they got married. They were Jehovah Witnesses fwiw.
Catholic here. Abstinence wasn’t pushed very hard at all in church, but I remember my Protestant friends getting purity rings, and doing the whole promise ceremony with their dads. The Catholic way is to just ignore ignore and pray that no one gets pregnant, because god forbid you actually have to talk about sex… out loud.
I know someone who’s a part of a religion where waiting until marriage is a requirement and dating before you can legally marry is frowned upon. She says that one of the things that happens is that a lot of people rush into marriage between the ages of 19 and 26 because they want to have sex. And a lot of older people there who have either already been married or already had sex have the nerve to be judgy toward young couples for marrying for hormonal reasons. It’s like, hello! What other option have you given them? If they decide to satisfy their sexual needs in any way before their wedding night, they’ll get ‘disowned’ or some other punishment, and they haven’t been allowed to date. That doesn’t mean these couples don’t sincerely love or care about eachother, but I think there’s more pressure to be less choosy in a mate and jump into dating and marriage to satisfy your desire to have sex and be with somebody when you haven’t been allowed to be with somebody before, and when your options are limited.
I don’t think waiting until marriage is a bad thing if the person has intrinsic motivation for choosing that decision instead of coersion. Some people legitimately feel that waiting until marriage is the best decision, and for some people losing virginity on a wedding night is a huge fantasy.
There are currently parents in Ontario losing their sh*t because of the new sex education roll-out. It’s an incredibly up-to-date plan that should have been in place long ago, IMO.
Grade 1: they will be taught among other health curriculum things, the proper names for body parts, including their genitals. This is done in part as an added level of security if a child is abused. A child will be able to report to a police officer, or parent, or whoever they need to report to if someone has touched them inappropriately.
Grade 3: They will be introduced to the concept of homosexuality. The main focus will be on respecting others for being ‘different’ whether it’s their hair color, clothing choices, or the relationship they’re in.
Grade 4: physical changes associated with puberty.
Grade 5: identify parts of reproductive system, learn how they work/changes that take place regarding during pregnancy, puberty, menstruation etc. Appropriate behavior in terms of liking someone – basic idea of consent and respecting others’ boundaries.
Grade 6: more info on gender identity, personal feelings, etc. healthy relationships, being clear about your feelings, being respectful, interpreting body language and facial queues. Positively dealing with end of relationships. masturbation is normal and safe.
Grade 7/8: all forms of sex can pose risk of STI, the idea of abstinence being safe as well as other ways to prevent STIs. Benefits of waiting to have sex; emotional and physical. Harms of stereotyping LGBT people, taking responsibility for the things you say that can hurt people. More on sexual identity and self concept.
There is soooo much fear mongering going on around this curriculum – and if half of the people who are freaking out would sit down and read the curriculum (which is public) there’s really nothing to freak about.
I know, some parents are foaming at the mouth here and saying it’s THEIR business to teach their kids themselves, not the schools. However the difference between one parent’s idea of sex ed and another’s will vary greatly. Some parents may not initiate a discussion about homosexuality or even condemn it, others may not want to discuss masturbation as an alternative to having sex too early, lots of things may be taught differently or not talked about at all. So it’s really important that kids start on a level playing field with sex ed and are given the same tools so there’s no room for misunderstanding.
Another thing that I applaud with this roll-out is the issue of sexting and how one picture can basically ruin your self-esteem, reputation and even get you a police record or kicked out of school. Kids today are bombarded with sexual imagery without really understanding all the ramifications and dangers and those parents who are resisting this new curriculum are doing their kids a disservice.
Sadly, a lot of people in this thread don’t seem do understand what “abstinence doesn’t work” means. OF COURSE if you don’t have sex you won’t get STDs and get pregnant! But that’s not the point! The point is that teaching abstinence as if sex is a bad thing does not stop young people from having sex because it is a natural instinct for all animals. A lot of research has shown this. So logically teaching safe sex is better than teaching abstinence because most people are going to have sex anyways…
Anyways… I think Shailene is lovely:)
The photographer made her look bad.
Theo! <3
I wish she’d think abit more about the reasons those sex scenes are in the movie and why she has to take her kit off……
i went to a catholic school and was taught about birth control and disease prevention
but we were told we really should wait because nothing should interfere with our educations
more importantly, that may be one of the most unfortunate magazine covers i’ve ever seen. my AAA magazine has better covers.
I believe I had to take “Health” class – which was sex ed – in high school when I was 16. I don’t recall ANY message about abstinence, birth control or any sort of guidance about who should or shouldn’t be having sex – only anatomy and the mechanics of fertilisation and pregnancy. I distinctly remember having to label an outline of the female reproductive system.
I think we only had one pregnant girl in our graduating class of 141. This was about 15 years ago.