'09
I have a thing about people who wear sweaters that tell a story. You know, like those overly-detailed Christmas sweaters, many travel sweatshirts, things like that. When I was in third grade I had a sweater with an image of a house and an actual plush Santa doll hanging off the chimney. Unfortunately, the chimney was placed right over my just-developing left boob, drawing attention (at least in my paranoid mind) to the mortifying changes going on south of my neck. What girl would want Santa hanging off her boob? This left some emotional scarring, resulting in an instant hatred of anyone wearing tacky clothing bearing images. Cheesy animals are no exception.
Luckily the reviewers at Amazon.com are more jovial than my bitterly sardonic sense of humor – though they clearly share my lack of appreciation for ugly-ass, why-the-hell-are-you-wearing-that-you-cliché-soccer-mom type clothing. And their reviews have pushed one of those cheesy-ass wolf t-shirts to the top of Amazon’s sales charts.
Can a T-shirt go viral online? Well… of course it can.
There’s an informal comedy-writing workshop of sorts going on over at Amazon, where a growing wave of reviewers have latched on to a T-shirt bearing the image of a trio of wolves howling at the moon.
Snarky reviewers at the site are giving the T-shirt credit for everything from psychedelic vision quests to new and intense attention from the opposite sex. Some of the tales are quite elaborate.
“I have been wearing this shirt for about 15 weeks and I have not needed to wash it!” claim’s one Amazon shopper’s review. “You don’t put this shirt on your torso you put it on your soul.”
“Rex Creekmur” of Washington, DC, puts a J.J. Abrams-style twist on his review. “If you inadvertently put this shirt on backwards AND inside out, you will cause a tear in the actual fabric of space-time,” he warns.
Another reviewer makes a veiled reference to a previous product that somehow became the butt of a viral wave of joke reviews: “I accidentally spilled a glass of Tuscan Whole Milk down the front of this shirt, and my soul was torn from my body and thrown into heaven by a jealous God.”
So far the T-shirt has earned 158 5-star reviews, climbed to the top of Digg, and is now riding high as the number-one item in Amazon’s apparel store.
That’s right. People are not just reviewing the three wolves T-shirt — they’re buying.
“It’s nice to see our shirt at number one at Amazon,” Michael McGloin, one of the partners at The Mountain, the New Hampshire-based company that makes the shirt. “We’re of course, okay with publicity… [and] it’s hilarious that you can comment on an Amazon product and push it to number one.”
[From the Washington Post]
All of these reviews could also apply to any of those pathetic unicorn t-shirts or anything with a kitten. But I’ve got to say, I’m really glad Amazon’s reviews are getting more humorous and less useful. Actually I’ve rarely found them to be useful, so they might as well be funny. The only thing that isn’t hysterical about this story is the result: people are actually buying this shirt. And I really don’t think it’s possible to wear it ironically – at least in a way where other people can tell that’s what you’re doing. Which means I’m going to have to go around town, ripping this ugly-ass shirt off people. Thus tearing the fabric of space-time.
Written by JayBird
Posted in Humor
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28 Responses to “Three wolf moon is top-selling t-shirt on Amazon”
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Still? this shirt was popular when I was in 7th grade. The D&D club had the monopoly on it. Holy 10 sided die!
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Reflects on why so many people hated Palin. Killing a pack animal for sport is a sin.
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I don’t see what the big deal is. Unless theres some negative connotations than who cares, its just a stupid shirt.
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The best is when people tattoo that shirt on themselves.
Yes. Yes I’ve seen that.
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very mid-1990′s
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that shirt is hideous, although I could see members of my family loving it.
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My husband… has a similar TIE. Just the other night I was able to get him to throw away his dragon tie, his Christmas tie, and his Superman tie, but not the wolf tie.
(He also has the tattoo.)
ugh.
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yes, but you can’t wear a kittens or unicorn t-shirt to a Twilight outing, now can you? But all those crazy Twilighters can wear THIS one to New Moon.
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Yeah I was about to say… I have a feeling the reason this shirt is so successful right now is because of Twilight. In case you all forgot, it doesn’t only have vampires. There are werewolves in there too and the 2nd movie New Moon will prominently feature them. I bet you all the fan girls will be wearing this shirt to go see the movie.
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This totally cheered up my day. Oh wacky internet, please never change!
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This shirt is a truck stop lovefest.
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(He also has the tattoo.)
ROFL. Oh hunny, my sympathies go out to you!
But you can get him to cover it up right?
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Hahaha!!
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Haha Jen you poor thing. At least you’re improving his wardrobe.
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lowbrow. same with the wolf or geese or chocolate lab clothing and blankets. for your bed. like it is a design option.
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All that is needed to top of this shnazzy t-shirt would be a nice pair of culottes, some white keds with stretchy swirly shoe laces, and a fashionable pleather fanny pack. I’m feeling summery already!
Sigh.
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LOL this looks like something a geeky anime and video game-loving, pale, greasy-haired, pimple-faced, skeletal pubescent boy with braces would just adore. Thanks for the laugh! I love when you add stories about non-celebrity but hilarious news i wouldn’t have otherwise known!
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This entire story made my day. Truly.
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@adleisa, You mean I can’t wear my unicorn T-shirt that says, might wanna get tested Bella he caught that sparkle from me. Damn.
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where did you see that “I choose Me” I want it! (not a huge twilight fan— But I can’t stand Edward and that makes him seem kinda slimy, which would make me smile )
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Down South I see a lot of this t-shirt. It’s like a symbol of, like…. Pagan Redneckery, it’s so awesome. I see it at the Flea Market and the fair grounds a lot…. and also on at the full moon. I’m not even kidding. And usually it’s worn by pasty, fat, middle-aged Dungeon Masters who still have the -sided die rolling around in their cars, and also they have long, greasy, filthy hair. Not mullets, though… their hair grows WILD, I tell you… all four strands. And they live in trailers or shitty apartments decorated with more wolf statues/framed pictures/posters, dream catchers, and rebel flags.
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Ah, I was just poking fun hollz. However if you make your own T-shirt feel free to use that. lol
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I spent way too much time reading the “reviews” the other day and laughed so much even my baby got the giggles.
Cletus: “Pagan Redneckery”. That is priceless. Just add dream-catcher earrings/roach clip and you’re good to go!
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LMAO
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you should check out the comments on the playmobil TSA airline security checkpoint. Hilarious
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If this shirt screamed ‘unwashed gamer nerd’ any louder, I’d be able to smell the BO through my computer screen. I love it.
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@ Hollz-if u dont like edward might wanna check out this shirt: http://www.jinx.com/men/shirts/geek/buffy_staked_edward.html?catid=1&cs=19&csd=buffy+staked+edward
i didnt know who edward was until my 12 yr old cousin explained. i am so out of touch these days….
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I swear Bret has worn this exact shirt on Flight of the Conchords. So I can’t help but love it.
Manda, the Playmobil reviews are absolutely hilarious. I can’t believe I’ve never seen that page before. Thanks for mentioning it!
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