Lupita Nyong’o details multiple abusive, harassing incidents with Harvey Weinstein

British Academy Film Awards (BAFTA)

Another day, another horrific first-hand account of Harvey Weinstein’s abuse and harassment of young women. Today the first-hand account comes from Lupita Nyong’o. Lupita first met Weinstein when she was still in graduate school at Yale, and he harassed and abused her on several occasions. She detailed their encounters in a New York Times op-ed published on Thursday, which you can read at this link:

Here’s the first incident of sexual harassment/abuse, courtesy of Variety:

According to Nyong’o, she met with Weinstein for the second time — after having initially met him in 2011 at an awards ceremony in Berlin while she was still in school at Yale — when he asked her to attend a screening at his home after sharing lunch at a restaurant. When she arrived at the restaurant in Westport, Conn., where Weinstein lived, Nyong’o described Weinstein ordering her a vodka soda and insisting that she drink it.

“Harvey told me that I needed to drink the vodka and diet soda. I informed him that I would not,” she wrote. “‘Why not?’ I remember him asking. ‘Because I don’t like vodka, and I don’t like diet soda, and I don’t like them together,’ I said. ‘You are going to drink that,’ he insisted. I smiled again and said that I wouldn’t. He gave up and called me stubborn. I said, ‘I know.’”

After finishing their meal, she and Weinstein relocated to his home, where Nyong’o was introduced to his domestic staff and children. Nyong’o wrote that she, Weinstein, and his children all began watching the film together. About 15 minutes into the film, however, Weinstein asked her to accompany him outside the room.

“I protested that I wanted to finish the film first, but he insisted I go with him, laying down the law as though I too was one of his children. I did not want another back-and-forth in front of his kids, so I complied and left the room with him. I explained that I really wanted to see the film. He said we’d go back shortly. “Harvey led me into a bedroom — his bedroom — and announced that he wanted to give me a massage. I thought he was joking at first. He was not. For the first time since I met him, I felt unsafe. I panicked a little and thought quickly to offer to give him one instead: It would allow me to be in control physically, to know exactly where his hands were at all times.”

Nyong’o wrote that after he removed his shirt and she began giving him a massage, he asked if he could remove his pants. She said she would prefer that he didn’t and that it would make her extremely uncomfortable if he did so. Despite her protests, Weinstein got up to remove them, at which point Nyong’o moved toward the door.

“I opened the door and stood by the frame. He put his shirt on and again mentioned how stubborn I was,” she wrote. “I agreed with an easy laugh, trying to get myself out of the situation safely. I was after all on his premises, and the members of his household, the potential witnesses, were all (strategically, it seems to me now) in a soundproof room.” Nyong’o wrote that she “didn’t quite know” how to process the massage incident, and rationalized it. “I reasoned that it had been inappropriate and uncalled-for, but not overtly sexual. I was entering into a business where the intimate is often professional and so the lines are blurred.”

[From Variety]

Weinstein invited Lupita to a staged reading of Finding Neverland after this incident, and she went. She says Weinstein didn’t treat her badly that night and she simply wrote off the Westport moment as an “awkward encounter.” Then Weinstein invited her to have drinks with him several months later, and she agreed, thinking it was going to be within a group. It was not. She arrived before Weinstein and ordered something non-alcoholic. Picking up the story:

“Again he was offended by my nonalcoholic beverage choice but he didn’t fight me on it as hard,” Nyong’o detailed. “Before the starters arrived, he announced: ‘Let’s cut to the chase. I have a private room upstairs where we can have the rest of our meal.’ I was stunned. I told him I preferred to eat in the restaurant. He told me not to be so naïve. If I wanted to be an actress, then I had to be willing to do this sort of thing. He said he had dated Famous Actress X and Y and look where that had gotten them.” Nyong’o said she was silent as she tried to think of something to say, and eventually declined politely, to which he responded: “You have no idea what you are passing up.” Nyong’o replied, “With all due respect, I would not be able to sleep at night if I did what you are asking, so I must pass.” At that point, Weinstein’s demeanor changed and he said, “Then I guess we are two ships passing in the night.” Nyong’o, not having heard the phrase before, asked him what it meant. He explained, and then said, “So we are done here. You can leave.”

Weinstein and Nyong’o left the restaurant, and Weinstein insisted on paying her cab fare. “Before I got in, I needed to make sure that I had not awakened a beast that would go on to ruin my name and destroy my chances in the business even before I got there,” she wrote. “‘I just want to know that we are good,’ I said. ‘I don’t know about your career, but you’ll be fine,’ he said. It felt like both a threat and a reassurance at the same time; of what, I couldn’t be sure.”

The next time she saw him, Nyong’o said, was in 2013 at an after-party for the premiere of “12 Years a Slave.” Weinstein found her and commended her for her rapid progress in the industry. “He said he couldn’t believe how fast I had gotten to where I was, and that he had treated me so badly in the past. He was ashamed of his actions and he promised to respect me moving forward. I said thank you and left it at that. But I made a quiet promise to myself to never ever work with Harvey Weinstein.”

[From Variety]

Lupita goes on to say that she wishes she had known that there were other women in the industry who she could have spoken to, and that she was taken aback by the fact that Weinstein was literally one of the first Hollywood people she had ever met, so she thought maybe all producers behaved that way. She says that she hopes this is a brand new day for women and victims of harassment, abuse and assault to come forward and speak up. Here’s hoping.

2016 Kenzo x H&M Show

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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95 Responses to “Lupita Nyong’o details multiple abusive, harassing incidents with Harvey Weinstein”

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  1. Hunter says:

    The man is truly vile. And he thought she’d never get anywhere without him. I love, love, LOVE the fact that she’s been successful without his help.

    As sickening and as painful as it is, let’s keep talking. Hopefully we can draw more victims out and finally see some justice for like the likes of HW, Blaine and other pigs.

    • Renee2 says:

      YES. I love that she was able to succeed in spite of his harassment and defy the seeds of doubt that he attempted to sow in her.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      vile and then some. “you have no idea what you’re passing up”

      passing up a vomitous experience with a two-ton marshmellow with a neck beard? I think she knew EXACTLY what she was passing up.

      on a purely superficial note, I am always blown away at how beautiful this woman is when I see pics of her. and then I read that she went to Yale for grad school?! Just WOW…

    • Rose says:

      I too I’m happy that she was still able to fallow her dream after turning down his advances.

      • Otaku fairy says:

        Exactly. Hopefully Lupita Nyongo’s story will finally cause some of the misogynistic “No woman or girl succeeds in this industry without doing time on the casting couch ” folks to STFU a little bit. Probably not though.

    • AnneC says:

      His apology was probably more fear of her speaking out now that she had become famous and the power dynamic had shifted than his actual guilt about his actions. A truly vile person, I really hope he can be charged with a crime and spend time in jail.

  2. IlsaLund says:

    Wow…just wow. This just seems never ending. And the really disturbing thing is, he’s not the only one. Hollywood is offering him up and praying that the others can go on undetected. And it isn’t just Hollywood, it’s in every segment of our society. Just sickening.

    • midigo says:

      Not only he’s not alone in this, but this has been a pattern since the very beginning of the film industry, being already a normal practice in theatres and music halls of the time.

      • crazydaisy says:

        The “casting couch” is a well-known phenom. Not that it was ever okay, but Harvey took it Way. Too. Far. I’m looking forward to Uma’s statement next. Lupita has such terrific poise, talent and self-esteem, wow!

    • V4Real says:

      I hope this is a wake up call that even the most powerful and mightiest players can be taken down. I hope they’re sweeting like a sinner in church. There’s another word that belongs there but this is not the post for it.

      I’m praying that this changes things a lot in Hollyweird so the future young actresses don’t have to suffer the same fate as these women have. But somehow Im afraid my prayers will go unanswered.

  3. Nicole says:

    Ugh I can’t anymore. But I knew all of this. It’s just vile hearing the accounts firsthand

    • HeidiM says:

      This is the one that finally broke my heart in all this mess.

      • Anilehcim says:

        This one really had hit home for me too. Of all the accounts that I’ve read, this one had me audibly gasping. If I’m not mistaken, this is the most detailed account of Weinstein’s abusive behavior. It was the little things like him trying to overpower Lupita at dinner; insisting that she order vodka instead of juice and then trying to command her to drink it after he told the waiter to bring her the vodka after she repeatedly said “no.” He belongs in prison for a very long time.

      • Sophia's Side eye says:

        Me too, HeidiM. She is a good writer and I felt vividly everything she was expressing. I got teary when I saw that she’d been a victim as well, I think that was me hitting a wall with all of these stories along with my own experiences. Not that I cared less about others, I care about them all, this was just the final straw that broke through the walls I’ve put up.

  4. Iknowwhatboyslike says:

    When I read this last night, I was speechless. To ensure her safety, she offered to give him a massage. I can’t imagine that kind of intimidation and uncertainty regarding my safety that I’ll offer to do something I don’t want to do, just so the situation wouldn’t escalate into violence. I’m relieved she was able to extricate herself from his grasp. So many weren’t so lucky and what’s sad is that it’s happening to many right now. I can’t believe this pig. Lupita too!!!

    I pray more victims come out about the other Harveys. I don’t believe any change will happen if we keep this behavior to just Harvey. His predatory behavior was not an isolated incident. It was the culture and values of many in Hollywood and beyond.

    • Nanny to the Rescue says:

      This example – her giving him a massage – made me the most pissed off (at him, not her). It’s a great example how this sort of intimidation works. She didn’t want to cause a scene, so she tried to be sort of playful and hoped for the best. And I know there will be many assholes who will say “but she’s guilty, come on, she gave him a massage”. Eff off.

      • Megan says:

        Let’s not forget his children were in the house. This story kills any sympathy I had for Georgina Chapman. This was going on in her own home in front of her children and staff. Are we really supposed to believe she didn’t know?

      • Lady D says:

        How many women have run crying or walked out in a disheveled daze or stumbled out in shock carrying a shoe or piece of garment, after ‘watching a movie’ at his house? I will never believe it only happened once.

      • Happy21 says:

        @Nanny – YES!
        A law student working in my office (he’s male) and I have been discussing the Weinstein matter every day when new news comes in and I read him Lupita’s account today and, while I was horrified, he didn’t freaking get the massage part. It was her controlling the situation to try to get the hell out of it altogether. He raised his eyebrows and was like ‘why would she do that if she wasn’t into it’. LOL, he and I have been having a back and forth on and off agree/disagree relationship with this. He thinks Weinstein is a vile pig but he doesn’t understand why women didn’t come forward and why women went along with it for so long, etc. He does not understand the idea that being an actress or being employed is EVERYTHING for a lot of people. I’m trying to make him see that not everyone grew up privileged and that people are frightened because they need to pay their damned bills, etc.

    • Megan says:

      I was wondering when we would hear from Lupita. She is so beautiful it seems inevitable Weinstein would try to coerce her into sex. Hollywood is such a cesspool. I may never be able to go to the movies again.

      • midigo says:

        I don’t think it’s even a matter of being beautiful. For the guy it looks more like a sort of ritual “cattle branding”. a cerimony in which he states and claims his ownership over his actresses.
        And, by the way, even if he didn’t sexually harrassed men, his aggressive and coarse behaviour towards his employees means they had to face a sort of ownership ritual as well. “I’m your boss and I can treat you like s..t whenever I wish.

      • Wren33 says:

        I think you have it right midigo. He needs to own all the actresses in town and make them beholden to him.

    • ell says:

      ‘To ensure her safety, she offered to give him a massage. I can’t imagine that kind of intimidation and uncertainty regarding my safety that I’ll offer to do something I don’t want to do, just so the situation wouldn’t escalate into violence.’

      i know. people don’t really get it unless they’ve been there, then it all makes sense. all those things you thought you’d do if someone harassed/assaulted you… gone.

      • bikki says:

        scary situation ughh.
        Harvey kind of used the children too, so that lupita wouldn’t say anything outright & she’d be forced to go to a private area to talk :S

    • M&M says:

      Would she mind if he took off his pants?
      She says no and he proceeds to take off his pants.
      Luckily she was able to get out of that room.
      What a sick bastard!

  5. Katherine says:

    That op-ed was a quality read, very well written

    • Sophia's Side eye says:

      I honestly now hope that she continues to write if she would like to. I think she’s a very good writer, I was impressed.

  6. Nikki says:

    I don’t drink alcohol either, but I’m about to start. Right now, at 8:29 am. Good grief!!!

  7. Neelyo says:

    Despite the similarities in these stories, each time I read one I’m still shocked.

    That essay is a great read.

  8. Ava says:

    Surely his team has been trying hard to make them disappear, but the steady stream of new stories regard Weinstein’s disgusting behavior makes sure that the topic stays in the news and keeps the discussion about abuse going.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      stays in the news, keeps the discussion going, and COMPLETELY destroys ANY chance he thinks he may have had to return to this business.

  9. Sixer says:

    Vile, vile, vile, vile, vile.

  10. BJ says:

    I think she is brave for not succumbing to his demands but I am not so sure that he didn’t have an effect on her career.I have a sinking feeling that his influence is one of the reasons her Post Oscar career has been underwhelming.I may be wrong.I don’t think he is the only factor but I wouldn’t be shocked if he used his influence on actresses who didn’t cooperate.
    Although it’s possible she came around when his power was already on the decline.We may never know if turning him down had an adverse effect on her career.

    • pwal says:

      Well, that article debating Lupita’s appeal because of her coloring and her rocking a short natural post awards season comes to mind.

      But then again, there was a lot of coded language flying around durin that awards season.

    • magnoliarose says:

      I think he messed with her. I really do because she wows every single person I know. She is a rare jewel of talent, grace, intelligence, beauty, charisma, style and likability. There is no reason she shouldn’t be on fire, and I would not be surprised when he saw her again and realized she survived him if he didn’t try to change that. She should be a fashion girl. Her look is very in right now as several African beauties are killing it and diversity has been ramped up in fashion and modeling. For the first time, there are black women of all shades, naturals, extensions and they aren’t in competition for the one slot anymore. He has his fingers in fashion, so it makes sense now.

    • Ayra. says:

      Yes yes yes, BJ. She’s very selective when it comes to her roles, and I believe that this is one of the reasons. But notice, no matter how talented she is, her post-Oscar career hasn’t been on the same level as some others. I have a feeling he tried to limit her opportunities.

      • Sophia's Side eye says:

        I agree. Especially after she turned down the movies he wanted to put her in years later.

    • SlightlyAnonny says:

      He totally messed with her career. I remember thinking and reading about her career stalling after the Oscars and couldn’t figure out why. Now we know.

      • Ayiti Cheri says:

        Her career really didn’t stall though. She did The Jungle Book and Star Wars and their sequels. She is also going to be in the Black Panther.

    • Nimi says:

      I do remember a concerted smear campaign in the DM shortly after the Oscars when they seemed to be running a series of stories to discredit Lupita. Even Celebitchy picked these stories and sometimes commented on them as read.

      The gist being that she was being difficult, stand-offish (code for note being aquiescent enough) and uncooperative, an ‘ice-maiden’ with her coworkers, when it was quite obvious from photos on twitter and other media outlets etc that they got along fine enough. So the media was complicit as were other outlets who picked up the stories.

      In future when actresses are being labelled ‘difficult’, ask yourselves does that mean difficult to get onto the casting couch, before you post or comment on stories without thinking.

  11. LR says:

    The “two ships passing in the night” comment is so gross. Like it was a thwarted romance instead of some gross old slob blatantly abusing his power.

    • emma33 says:

      Yes! When she asked him what the phrase meant, a truthful explanation would have been “it means you’re not going to let me rape you tonight.”

      This guy is truly, truly disgusting. I just have no words but I wanted to comment anyway because I think this stuff needs to keep coming out.

  12. loislane says:

    So he did things like that in his house…with his children there. Omg it’s just so sad…so so sad 😔 I can’t anymore.

    • ell says:

      yes, all stories so far were about hotels but his children being in the same house? unbelievable. he’s even worse than i thought.

      • ORIGINAL T.C. says:

        This Op-Ed was so well written that I felt I was actually there with her, dreading each encounter and afraid of when he will pounce on her. Lupita is not that tall and I can imagine how tall and physically intimidating he must have appeared to her. But the fact that he used his home and children as decoy shook me. Using assistants as bait was bad enough, using young innocent children is EVIL. How much have those children seen their Dad do? What memories are going to come racing at them as adults? I hope this article will prompt someone in that family to take these children to talk to a child psychologist for an assessment.

        If Harvey can’t be brought down by the law, I hope these victims can take him to civil court for a class action suite and leave him penniless. The funds can start up a foundation to provide counseling for young actors and actresses.

  13. Lucy says:

    This was terrifying to read.

  14. minx says:

    What a disgusting person.

  15. Jayna says:

    I was blown away by her op-ed yesterday when I read it.

  16. CharlotteCharlotte says:

    Damn, I had to think what was in that drink and what would have happened to her if she’d drunk it.

    • That was the first thing I thought. What was in her drink that made him so insistent she drink it?

      • stinky says:

        Anything to keep his sweaty paws off of her gorgeous body – good gawd.
        Shes a smart one. She’s always been a breath of fresh air in Hollywood (and everywhere else, i expect). It sounds like Harvey could easily have been drugging women as well? The Cosby scandal has been out for years now… maybe he thought he’d give it a try. un-freakin-believable.

  17. FF says:

    So did he slightly change his MO in the later years and was actually using the kids as and his home as a decoy, or did he change it to catch out this specific actress out.

    I mean him using his children clearly puts across that he cared about no one but himself, and the use of the home and children shows premeditation, and clearly shows that the intent to set women at faux ease is very much part of his set up.

    I’m glad she spoke on it, particularly being the first obviously melanated actress to comment on this rapist.

    When are they going to charge criminally, or is law enforcement planning to look like a joke?

    • Sophia's Side eye says:

      LAPD tweeted yesterday that they were going to be looking into an accusation of rape they just got yesterday. In the UK there’s a actress who was raped and harassed for years by him and it’s considered an historical crime, so he can be prosecuted there. I’ve also heard that New York has something it’s looking into, also possibly rape. He will hopefully end up in jail.

  18. OTHER RENEE says:

    “Nyong’o wrote that she “didn’t quite know” how to process the massage incident, and rationalized it. “I reasoned that it had been inappropriate and uncalled-for, but not overtly sexual. I was entering into a business where the intimate is often professional and so the lines are blurred.”

    Ok this is profoundly disturbing to me. I’m certainly not condemning her actions or rationalization at the time and obviously she’s processed the incident and now realizes how disgusting his behavior was. Criminal in fact. She was obviously frightened. But women need to stop second guessing their immediate gut reactions to these kinds of horrible incidents. Not overtly sexual, she says? It was completely sexual. Women need to stop asking themselves “Did I misunderstand his intentions, and if so, I don’t want to appear to be rude. I want to be NICE. Because that’s what women do.” Screw nice. Inappropriate jokes, inappropriate touching are tests of your boundaries. Teach this to your children and keep repeating it over and over.

    • ell says:

      i agree with you, but it believe it’s important to be understanding and have sympathy for a fairly normal reaction to something terrible happening. not only it’s hard to process being harassed/sexually assaulted, but as you point out as women we’re taught to be nice and not to make a scene. it takes time to unlearn it.

      • Tiny Martian says:

        Exactly, Ell. I know that when I was a teenager and later as a young woman, i had a hard time knowing exactly where to draw the line. I remember feeling the red flags go up when men made propositions that weren’t specifically sexual in nature, but not trusting my own instincts, and not wanting to offend the man by suggesting that his comments or actions were frankly sexual . And in retrospect, so many men knew this! It’s classic predator behaviour to make one suggestion, and then if that one is rejected, to play the offended party and suggest that they didn’t “mean anything” by it. It can be very difficult to suss out for those who aren’t hardened by experience.

      • YES! ell, you hit the nail on the head. We’re taught that “ladies have manners” and that ladies are demure. It’s so deeply ingrained in some of us that we look the other way, or play peacemaker. It’s also so common to push back the “bad” parts of an encounter so it’s kind of like a fugue state. You go through the motions just to get out alive or safe or un-raped and don’t even cognitively process what just happened until you get the hell out of there. It’s like emotional autopilot. You KNOW you’re in danger, it shapes what you do in the moment, but it’s almost like it’s happening to someone else.

    • M&M says:

      I agree. I wish I hadn’t frozen in moments when I had felt uncomfortable by a man. I did I froze. I think I was shocked, there is no way this is really happening is the feeling I was overcome with.
      I was always angry at myself. Blamed myself for even being there.
      Now I realize that they were the pervert and they knew exactly what they were doing and I let it slide in order to not make the situation worse.
      I am tired of being polite and uncomfortable when they are don’t care how they are making us feel.

    • K says:

      There’s a book called The Gift of Fear that talks about women and predators, and the incident with the drink, and his repeatedly ignoring her refusal and seeking to overcome it, is textbook. Classic. The author says that if ever a guy does that – tries to make you accept something edible or drinkable that you don’t want, and then to ingest it – it’s a red flag that he is not merely trying to get you to lower inhibitions by drinking, but also testing how easy you are to control, and that it’s a key indicator of an abuser. Refusing to accept a no in small things such as a drink is a key sign that they won’t accept it when it involves sex, either. What Weinstein did there was, quite literally, textbook for a predator.

      • Wilder says:

        I remember watching an interview once with a woman who’d been raped by a stranger. She was in the grocery store parking lot, loading up the trunk of her car, and a guy walked over (I think he was wearing a cast? Which is what Ted Bundy did!) and asked if she could help him with his groceries too. Her gut IMMEDIATELY told her that something was wrong — but afraid of being rude, she followed him to his car, where he forced her into the trunk, drove to a remote location, and raped her. Her message was, DON’T EVER IGNORE YOUR INSTINCTS. If it feels weird, it probably *is* weird. Women need to realize the validity of their gut feelings and stop worrying that they’re going to hurt somebody’s feelings!

    • FF says:

      @Other Renee

      She didn’t second guess her sense of being in danger – that helped in the situation bigtime. But after something traumatic you can have trouble going over it in hindsight, that’s one thing. Another is there was a dissonance: she felt uneasy and in danger but the danger didn’t increase to fight/flight levels and because it was not recognised as odd by the other person she questioned her perceptions of the incident.

      He deliberately cultivates that back and forth with women in his interactions in order to keep the victim questioning. It’s not an accident all his victims do it. Like the way he shifts between appropriate and in appropriate, safe and unsafe. (I seriously wonder if this isn’t in some how to groom/abuse/assault Hollywood handbook.)

      It’s an atmosphere of confusion he cultivates in order to spring on the people he’s preying on so theirvlack of preparedness males them self blame. The minute they feel safe, he changes topic, direction or approach. People drawing immediate boundaries and clearly sticking up for themselves can sometimes keep him at bay but it’s not a surefire defense and he has forced himself on women who according to their accounts were vehemently verbally and physically warding him off.

  19. ellieohara says:

    So after this account, we are really pretending still that JLaw and all the other women never saw anything? Okay.

    • DiamondGirl says:

      It’s horrible to think about, but we’re hearing from the women who didn’t go along with him.

      There must be many who did, whether they thought it was a necessary evil to becoming successful or were just too terrified to stand up to him.

      I think we should support and applaud the ones who announce their experience, and not point fingers at the silent ones. They’re suffering too.

      • ell says:

        ‘I think we should support and applaud the ones who announce their experience, and not point fingers at the silent ones. They’re suffering too.’

        thank you. enough with pointing fingers towards other women who might have experienced harassment/assault. those who cannot or won’t talk have a right to it, and we should respect it. it’s bloody hard and incredibly brave to speak about this sort of stuff to the world, we should be sympathetic to the fact that not every woman feels she can come forward.

      • Rose says:

        There are Women who did, but these women will never tell their story because they will be torn to shreds by the media and public.

        Many people forget that they too are victims and no one should have to sleep with someone to keep their Job or have career.

      • SlightlyAnonny says:

        Yeah…I mean it’s unpleasant to think about but some women said yes. Some women were willing to play along and maybe even happy to thinking it was a shortcut to stardom. We don’t know who though, they haven’t revealed themselves and aren’t obligated to.

        But given all that’s come out I disbelieve anyone who says “I didn’t know.” When actors who’ve never worked with him have heard of the “Harvey Tax” I find it hard to believe that those who have worked with him, haven’t.

    • K says:

      And yet again we return to the women.

      He didn’t give a shit what the women thought, and nor did anyone else. And no victim should be forced to tell their story. Nor should women be the ones forced to police the men who predate upon them.

      For the record: I don’t necessarily believe he never tried anything with her. I do believe she doesn’t want to talk about it, and I don’t think it’s any of my damn business what happened, if it even did, because she would be the victim in any such scenario. She condemned the behaviour and said how wrong it was, and she discussed incidents earlier in her career that were very shaming to her that scaffold this conduct. She’s done her job here. Weinstein was already taken down without her.

      No woman owes us her story. None. Me Too wasn’t signed by every woman, and that’s fine because this. is. not. the. responsibility. of. the. victims.

      Framing this as, “well, what did SHE do to stop it?” is part of the problem. She doesn’t have to do a damn thing. The men have all the power here. THEY are the damn problem.

      You might as well say black people need to step up on racism. It’s bullshit. That’s on us white folk.

      • Sky says:

        I agree that we shouldn’t put pressure on I’m women to come forward if they’re not ready. At the end of the day what would people get out of JLaw coming forward? the knoeing fact that they were right about her.

    • magnoliarose says:

      I blame that on her handlers because that was a crap PR move on their part. Any publicist worth anything should have known she was vulnerable to second-guessing. I hate that these women aren’t better served and protected as they should be. Surely they know the climate of the country and that she has always been viewed with just a little bit of suspicion after the nude photos. I am sure they thought that it would tie her to him, but they failed to realize that by denying something that is impossible to dismiss she would be viewed as not only lying about her knowledge but that it would lead to doubt about her entire statement.
      Sigh

  20. lucy2 says:

    This was devastating to read. I picture her, a young college student about to start her career, so excited that a big producer noticed her. And he took advantage of that in the worst way.
    I’m glad she stood her ground and got away from him, but sick she, and everyone else he has hurt, ever had to experience it.
    I can’t believe he did this at his own home, with his young children present too. Sick on every level.

  21. Radley says:

    Lupita is all grace and class.

    Really, can we find a way to lock this predator up? He’s a clear and present danger. I hope the actress in the UK who recently went to the police is able to press charges. For God’s sake, lock him up! Punish him!

    • BJ says:

      LAPD is also investigating a 2013 rape.

      • K says:

        In the UK we have something called similar fact evidence, where even if prior offences haven’t been charged (in the States I understand you have statutes of limitations on even sexual offences?) the victims can go under oath and state what happened, so a jury can see that there is a modus operandi. Does that apply in the US? Specifically, in CA?

      • Sophia's Side eye says:

        All I know for sure is California has a ten year statute of limitations on rape, not great, but the 2013 rape is within the statute, and so he can be prosecuted for it.

      • K says:

        The thing is, they’ll have to try it on that one case, and it will be tough to get a fair jury – but if they are fair, they can only try on the evidence before them. It would be grotesque if all the evidence around his behaviour isn’t included in that trial, because it is so very pertinent.

        And we have no statute of limitations on serious sexual offences in this country. None. You can be tried fifty years later, if the evidence is available. It’s been very useful when DNA tests have been run on historic evidence. Rapists have been caught 30 and even 40 years later.

  22. KC says:

    1-IN his home, with his children as part of his setup. Wow! 😮
    2- So glad that setting didn’t end up with her being assaulted or raped.
    3- That kinda blows the theory that he had a “type” out of the water. It certainly does for me. In general, in the US, I consider myself and other black women “safe” from SEXUAL harassment in predominantly white circles because of the color of our skin. This man just wanted to exert is power over women. It was all about his ego and power over as many women (regardless of ethnicity) as possible.
    4-what I love so much coming out of this hard experience is that she was able to advance her career to the point it surprised him and that he actually apologized. I know other women weren’t so fortunate but going forward I hope that part of her story empowers women to not be okay with this behavior or question their aversion to it.
    I don’t know how many more Weinstein’s are out there but that’s the nature of this gross behavior -it silences women, makes them feel powerless and alone. There is strength in what feels like giving into weakness (saying no and risking loss of career, sharing your story), strength in numbers as women realize they aren’t alone and strength in taking back their voice and speaking out. Every woman processes this differently but I hope for many this and other stories are helping them find strength to heal and move forward.

  23. K says:

    She writes so powerfully, elegantly and precisely. That f*cker is eviscerated, and all by a clinical and understated retelling of exactly what occurred. She is wonderful. Talk about a dish served ice cold.

  24. Wren33 says:

    Each new one, and is like “Oh no, her too!!!!” And I totally understand her reaction to hearing about everyone else. Not relief that she wasn’t the only one, but rage. I just shared on Facebook my own story of rape and seeing all the “me too”s from my friends just makes me scream “Motherfu$%ers!”

  25. Sway says:

    He tried to coerce her into having sex upstairs while his children were downstairs?

    I’m sorry but no one can convince me now his wife “had no idea” or that his children never had an inkling. Still, I feel for the children, because it’s their father and he always will be their father (besides a disgusting pig). And they have years of therapy ahead of them.

    But this guy is truly awful and evil and I hope all like him are exposed – in Hollywood and everywhere. Because it’s not just him, it’s a rotten ring of people who do the same thing and protect each other because they’re powerful.

  26. crogirl says:

    At this point I am just waiting for someone (woman or man) to come out and say they actually did all the movie work that is credited to this pig, because he most certainly didn’t have the time. He spent every f**king hour just plotting how to abuse and overpower women.

  27. K.T says:

    Lupita’s text was breathtaking, it was like reading a sparse clean dissection of a story about a story of abuse. She is such a star. I felt complete dread after every line and thanking every little piece of luck and fortune that she got away from physical abuse (if not the pain of those humiliating experiences). And I dread for all those women did not get away from his pathologically diseased presence.

    Imagine if that disgusting Weinstein encounter had stopped Lupita from going forward as an artist – what the world would have lost. Then think of all the other women’s voices he’s silenced and drained away. Plus, Mirimax for decades was really bad for actors of colour, not showing different ‘types’ of female characters and anything truly progressive…for all it’s ‘highbrow’ for the middle class pretensions.

    Harvey is the horror show and yet we ALL need to stop the systemic sexism and power dynamics that allow the violence and inequality to be status quo. Especially all the men in Hollywood who firstly benefit from the system. Quentin, Afflecks, Cloony, executives, etc etc etc they all are complicit. I see them now like male Ivanka’s, profiteering from the alpha dregs.

  28. jugil1 says:

    This man’s crimes get worse & worse each day. I can’t imagine the fear & trauma she has been living.
    This man needs to rot in hell.

  29. teacakes says:

    I can’t even imagine how terrified she must have been. It breaks my heart, that this is what so many women have been put through as the ‘price’ of their careers, and I don’t even want to think about how much talent was lost to us, directly and indirectly, thanks to this monster.

    I haven’t been in all the Wankstain threads much because it’s difficult going, but I want to give a shout-out to @Sixer, @Erinn and @Kitten specifically for the things you guys have had to say re: women coming forward or not, and the not shifting the focus on to women instead of the serial rapist here. Just…. thanks.

  30. The Original Mia says:

    Horrific and disgusting. The man needs to be locked up in jail and the key thrown away.

  31. Frosty says:

    That queasy feeling I get reading these incidents, where I can feel the women feeling their way forward, trying to control what they can. Like, Lupita turned down the drink, which he was already bizarrely insistent about. I can imagine her not refusing when he got her to leave the screening, because kids and also she was a guest. You can feel each inner struggle between instinctual fear (survival) and social propriety. Harvey’s power — both actual and perceived — was a social fact. There are just so many layers to this pile of vomit…

    • K says:

      It really isn’t bizarrely insistent. It’s literally in a book about how women can protect themselves from predators, that behaviour. It’s establishing that the predator is in control from the start, and a sort of test for them (that you will allow them to ignore a no) and a flag for you (that your no has no value to them).

      When I read that part, I was blinking, because it was literally given as an example of something abusers will do when meeting a new target. And here he was, doing it.

  32. minxx says:

    WOW. I’m so impressed by her on so many levels, seriously.

  33. Neo says:

    Love her. Hate him.

  34. SM says:

    The whole op-ed is just haunting and yet so good in translating not only the terror and horror but in essence grasps the situation and the blurring line between intimacy and terror, sexuality and harrasment, power and overpowering.

    • crazydaisy says:

      Yes! The last two paragraphs had me in tears and filled with pride for the sisterhood we share with this brave young woman.

  35. Carli says:

    Thank you to all the writers at CB who have vigilantly covered all the accounts regarding Harvey Weinstein. I was very moved when I read it was a priority for the website to cover all accounts that surface to lift up the women’s voices so they can be heard. Much love.