Here are some photos of Armie Hammer at the GQ Men of the Year event. I’m not so sure about the red plaid jacket, if I’m being honest. He attended the event with his wife Elizabeth and he happily posed with the Call Me By Your Name team. Armie is still considered a shoo-in for all of the big Best Supporting Actor nominations, although I don’t know if he’ll actually win anything. I tend to believe that the CMBYN publicity tour hasn’t really brought out the best in Armie. His THR interview was problematic as hell, and Armie has already deleted his Twitter after one critical Buzzfeed story. To be fair, the Buzzfeed story was rather mean. To be fair, the Buzzfeed story didn’t tell any lies. I thought of that Buzzfeed story while I read Armie’s latest interview with Mr. Porter – you can read the full piece here. There are some quotes that I loved, and some quotes where he comes across as… just a really oblivious, privileged white dude. Some highlights:
The importance of CMBYN being set in the 1980s: “These characters in the movie, I don’t think, would ever have really fallen in love with each other if they had cell phones. They would have been on Grindr, talking to their friends on WhatsApp, and they would have never really connected because they never would have needed to.”
Doing a gay love story film: “Love is love. I feel like making this movie has freed me up in so many ways. I no longer have to subscribe to the societal expectations of being a straight white male. The more a child travels, the less they are likely to be racist or xenophobic. This was like travelling, but just in an emotional capacity.”
It was his decision to pull away from studio films: “I made a decision to back out of the whole studio system a few years ago. It was a machination of people just trying to make money, as opposed to making art. When you are studying acting, they talk about the way a movie can impact you as a performer, and I never really found that to be the case [with big-budget movies]. They were great to make and I had the best experiences of my life. But with Call Me By Your Name, I was pushed. I’m the one who has got to do it, working a 16-hour day, doing it all over again the next day. There has got to be something in it for me; it’s my life. I’d love to do a huge movie and be able to have a huge house, but at the end of the day, I know I sleep better at night, and I feel better in myself if I am doing a project that I am passionate about.”
His wealthy family & privileged background: “There is that misconception that, ‘Oh, you grew up in a wealthy family so you must have got it easier.’ I probably had opportunities that other people didn’t have. But I guarantee that other people didn’t have [parents] beating into their skull that they were the ‘representation of the family’. That was not the easiest pill to swallow. People might look at me and think my life is so perfect, but everybody wrestles with the same demons.”
He’s playing Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s husband in a new movie: “I made this film for my daughter. I want her to have stories of strong women who changed the world from their own ironclad will. I don’t think there are enough of these out there.”
Post-Weinstein Hollywood: “It seems like this shift is happening. The people in power are no longer free to abuse it recklessly, which is great. For so long it was expected that the powerless would just take it.”
He’s never felt vulnerable or taken advantage of in the industry: “I’ve never had any pressure to perform sexual favours. You’re around it, but thank God I have never had to deal with it first hand. I’ve heard stories. To my own detriment, and negative credit, I never said anything or did anything about it.”
Whether he thinks the world will be a better place for his daughter: “I am at the ‘abandon all hope ye who enter here’ point. I don’t even know if the world is going to survive that long. Stephen Hawking says that we have got about another 100 years left. These guys in Silicon Valley trying to beat mortality? I think it’s a weird, crazy ego trip. There is something nice about the memento mori. You get one round. That makes it all the more special. I’ve got friends who are really involved, inside that tech world, going to life-extension doctors. Every time I hear it, I am listening, but I think, why? I don’t even take vitamins. It requires a lot of self-importance. I am sure people can balance it, but it doesn’t feel necessary to me to get to 200.”
His answer to the question about his privilege is very “all lives matter” – yes, everyone has their own struggles, but dude needs to understand that “kids making fun of his hair” is not the same kind of struggle that other people have faced in their lives. And lots of kids from all kinds of backgrounds struggle with their parents’ expectations, so I have no idea what he’s talking about there. But I kind of loved his speech about how the world only has about 100 good years left and people who take vitamins are self-important. It honestly cracked me up.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Haven’t followed his career a lot but just loved that line in the social network when he was like there are two of me LOL.
His friends who are going to life extension doctors sound barking mad.
if you read the biography of Steve Jobs, he was the prototypical Silicon Valley dude Hammer is talking about. Jobs was obsessed with veganism, fasting for weeks as a means to mortality and juicing before he passed young from pancreatic cancer for who know what reasons. Now it has shifted –
and you have these dudes who measure every one of their blood stats all the time to supposedly catch disease before it ever starts, and also they are obsessed with their organic local diet, and yes, living the *best* and *longest* and *healthiest* thanks to use of these devices that measure their blood sugar and alpha and REM sleep and pre pre cancer markers and figuring out which berry lowers their cholesterol the most and it all sounds exhausting.
These Silicon Valley guys are also trying to make their devices as the next big wave in technology so that we all measure our health all the time as a way to prevent disease, which sounds like a further way to beat on people of less means for not spending $1000 for a constant blood sugar and blood pressure monitor.
Domino, those people need to live their lives and need to stop trying to be God.
It’s called bio hacking and it’s hilarious. It’s the typical narcissism where tech Bros think they are smarter than the accumulated health and dietary knowledge of generations of accomplished scientists. They are going to disrupt the health market! Dying. It’s satire writ large.
I particularly laughed when Soylent was removed from Canadian markets because it’s less healthy and nutritionally complete than Ensure.
Despite all my chortles, the calorie reduction stuff is semi supported, but the two major longitudinal studies came back with contrary results.
“I no longer have to subscribe to the societal expectations of being a straight white male. ”
What does that even mean? Is he just stringing words together hoping it’ll make sense? He’s still a (VERY rich) straight white dude, and none of that changes just because he was in this movie that not even that many people have seen/will see.
Yeah, I wondered about that, too. I mean if he’d played, say, a physicist, would he then think he’s a physicist?
I think he is just saying he can play outside box of what a “white straight male is suppose to be”. He feels free to do it all. Be the sensitive guy or the kickass. I didn’t find his statement strange. Just saying what actors want. To be able to play diverse characters. And reading some of the comments really make that stand out. Because he is characterized here as rich/white/straight. And everything he says gets twisted because of it. I don’t know much about him and have only seen a couple of his movies. But I think he has talent.
Ok, I’m a feminist. But let’s not pretend there is no pressure on men to be a certain way. To be “strong” at all times for example- aka don’t cry, don’t show emotions other than anger, don’t dress feminine, don’t talk about your feelings, etc. I suppose what he means is that it made him rethink what he wants to be like as a man.
That’s how I took it. I have two sons, and definitely men (and boys) have societal pressures to behave in a certain way. My older son took a lot of heat for being quiet, studying, in the robotics club but not a sport, not being a hunter, having gay friends, etc, you name it in high school. I’m a feminist as well, but of course I see those pressures. Some people can’t believe it, one of my younger sons favorite things to do is go by the bridal/prom dress stores here and look at – and critique – the dresses in the window. “And you LET HIM?” They howl. YES, I let him, and it’s funny because I have little interest in fashion LOL
That’s how I took it too. I heard that playing different characters for actors can help open their eyes to a way of life in a way they wouldn’t have before. I don’t think Arnie is the most articulate person.
UGH. A sentence like that requires A LOT of self-importance. Yeah it must be soooo liberating to feel free of all of those societal ‘expectations’ that say that straight white males are by default basically decent, non-criminal and upstanding citizens. HOW RESTRICTIVE.
I respectfully disagree with your comment. It is very dismissive of his feelings and pov. Imo comments like these make ppl shrink right back into their shell for fear of being judged and dismissed.
While yes he does come off as a little tone deaf and lacking of awareness he is clearly trying to understand. Learning and opening your eyes to the big picture isn’t one fluid motion that happens in 10 mins. It takes time, stumbles, second guesses and work. He cannot help his skin tone or what he was born into but I see him trying.
.. or if ya ask the cynic in me, maybe he’s just gunning hard for that Oscar lol
Fair enough. I wouldn’t have such an issue with his statements if he wasn’t so consistently dismissive of the immense opportunities his privilege has afforded him. If he could just own it, not apologise for it, not downplay it, just own it he wouldn’t sound quite so oblivious: “I probably had opportunities that other people didn’t have”…probably??? Aaaand I’m pretty sure he already and always has had a huge house, so this “sacrifice” for his art raises my eyebrows just a tad.
2017 has made me ALL cynic, lol
That’s not what expectations are. You’re twisting his words to fit your agenda.
There’s plenty of boys and men out there who deal with bullying and criticism even from their families due to being “weak”/too girly. To deny this is a problem is silly.
maybe hes about to come out ,who knows ? this is how it all starts ,”SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS” is sth that most of celebs regard as MORAL CONSTRAINTS in their pursuit of personal success or happiness
Wow, you guys are being really hard on him. I think what he meant about comparing his role as a gay man to the way travelers learn to be less racist and xenophobic, is that it has given him an inside look at the experience of being gay that has provided him with more empathy and open mindedness. I think this was a good revelation for a guy like him to have, and i will not criticize it.
Also, I totally get what he meant when he tried to explain that his privilege and added opportunities didn’t mean things were easier. All the money in the world will not protect you from things like abuse, mental health issues, family dysfunction, addiction, etc., and being rich doesn’t mean you can handle these kinds of struggles any easier. Case in point, you may get *less* support and sympathy when you are struggling.
“But I guarantee that other people didn’t have [parents] beating into their skull that they were the ‘representation of the family’.”
I guess he doesn’t know any children of immigrants.
Or any people from collectivistic cultures like Asia or Eastern Europe. Dude we hear that all the time.
^ THIS
I don’t have first hand experience with that, but I’ve read a lot of families that weren’t dripping in gobs of money that most definitely had “beating into their skull that they were the ‘representation of the family’.”
Travel more, Armie.
Also merely taking vitamins is self importance, or taking them in the context of life extension? Mine may totally be all for the placebo, but I take magnesium for migraine prevention, 2000 iu vitamin D and fish oil for depression recurrence prevention.
Right? Hell, I’m an oldest child of non-immigrants and got all the pressure. They wanted me to be a prodigy at *something* They were upset that I didn’t go to law school and instead became a journalist, I was kind of always considered wayward even though I kept bringing home the right papers: HS diploma (w/ honors) College degree (with honors) gave ’em two grandsons, got into law school but got a job as a journalist and went with that. Still, my mom’s been shaking her head at me ever since I can remember. And we were just regular middle class folks. I get where he’s coming from, his own pov, but it’s not just rich kids with “important” families that feel the pressure dude. In one way, I feel grateful that, while religious, they never Duggar’d me and expected great things from me, a woman. In another way, I feel like I need therapy sometimes LOL it’s hard on your self-esteem to feel like you’re never quite living up.
I have had two nervous breakdowns over familial expectations and my parents are shitkicker hillbillies. Money has nothing to do with it.
I’m a teacher and vitamins are the only thing standing between me and an endless year-long revolving door of stomach bugs, sinus infections, and weird diseases because no one wants to wash their hands.
Seriously. How “self-important” is it to swallow a pill once a day?
Call me Self-Important than, because I take vitamins and a few supplements.
I’ll join you in the self-important aisle.
LOL! Wait till he hits 50 and vitamins will seem less self-important.
Or he’s taking meds for enlarged prostate or erectile dysfunction.
That also rubbed me the wrong way as someone who has to take medication to survive and be “normal.” Like, bully for you that you’re healthy enough not to (even) need any vitamins. And I get that he was making a larger point about people wanting to expand their lives beyond normal life spans.
But again, he comes off as sounding so oblivious because, like, it makes it sound a bit too much like “well if you just eat healthy, you’d be healthy” which I get way too often already (considering my disease is, you know, genetic and autoimmune, it makes the entire argument even more specious than it seems on its face) but I hope this isn’t the new approach healthy people are going to start busting out for shaming sick people – i.e. “taking medications is just so self-absorbed. Did your great-grandparents take that? No, then you don’t need it. Eat more broccoli or something…”
Kate, I’m also a teacher and your statement made me laugh – ruefully because it is so true. You’d think by 8th grade there would be less of that, but there is still a strange resistance to soap.
yah….he sounds like a d*ck
Agreed. Ugh, something about him has always rubbed me the wrong way. Insufferable.
Absolutely. These lines about avoiding the machinations don’t help either. DUDE, you’re in the middle of an awards campaign, you can claim to love indy movies all you want, you’re fully playing along.
He’s an absolutely terrible interview, yeesh.
Has anyone seen camille Rowe series on wellness? The first episode talks about this and how.people don’t need extra vitamins
Yeah, some people actually do need to take extra vitamins. I need to take extra vitamin D, folic acid, and extra Iron because of medical conditions. Every body is different and every body needs different attention in different areas in order to remain well working.
I have to take extra vitamins too, and I agree with you. A full blood panel enabled my doctor to prescribe a vitamin mixture and more fatty acids. My children take a food-based simple multi, so I am not on board with no vitamins. It is difficult for people to eat full spectrum meals every single day and our doctors recommend it, so I go that route.
Hi Magnolia, just wondering what brand you use for the “food-based simple multi” your kids take? I have been looking for a good no-frills multi. Thanks
If I don’t eat enough different fruits and veggies some weeks, plus I hardly eat meat and no red/mammal meat, don’t eat seafood every week any more, then wouldn’t I need vitamins to make up for what I missed?
I’ve literally had doctors (people that went to medical school and treat people’s health for their living) tell me I that I need to take vitamin X, Y, or Z due to something that came up on a blood analysis. Most recently was told to start taking Vitamin D supplements. So I’m not sure why I should believe Camille Rowe (I had to look up who she was but I see that she is, ah-ha! an actress who probably has NOT gone to medical school or diagnosed or treated sick people) when she says that people don’t need vitamins.
Most people do not need vitamins, provided they eat a balanced diet that provides them with appropriate nutrients. No need to take offense if your doctor prescribed you vitamins or advised you to take vitamins. It just means your special and not like most people.
That being said the debate about vitamins has been long and there’s probably no end in sight. For every medical professional who says they are good, you can find another who will say they don’t really provide any real benefits. Unless you are taking them specifically to compensate for a nutrient deficiency.
People without relevant education and experience should shut the he** up. I believe in freedom of speech, but please. Supplements are not a panacea. The danger is that there are people with a “platform” that don’t know what they are talking about, but are most likely “motivated” by whoever wants to push their supplements, then there is this whole “supplements” industry worth billions. This is not about health, it’s about money. But too many people, I assume, have no education at all when it comes to nutrition. We should learn this in school. And I am quite pessimistic about that too. I have seen, in the past 10 years, at least 5 “food pyramids” or whatever they are called. Who **dictates** what we are supposed to eat and in what proportions? I remember that the Daily Fail – of course it is not a reliable resource – saying that the 5 a day was the result of fruit and veg industry lobby, totally undermining the relevance of fruit and vegetables. Btw, the Daily Fail also said that B12 is a soluble vitamin – not true, it’s stored in the liver.
I am ranting here, but supplements are no joke. There are people who got very sick or died because their took over-the-counter supplements – yes, vitamin and mineral combos. Now THIS is sick.
I respectfully disagree – as women age they must take calcium/magnesium/vit. D/vit. k/boron mix to prevent osteoporosis. And as a recent breast cancer survivor I take a number of supplements that support my immune system, prevent metastis and inhibit estrogen uptake.
Okay, but this is the perfect example of why the word “most” is such a crutch for people who want to do journalism but don’t want to be bothered with actually being careful. Because I haven’t seen it so I don’t know whether the person does a good job of saying “most” don’t need vitamins but for those who do, they are crucial.
Yes, for many people who can eat a healthy and balanced diet and who don’t have other medical conditions causing deficiencies, then yes, vitamins can sometimes just give you really expensive pee. *But,* those are a lot of buts and provisos in that sentence. And the problem when people do news stories like that (which are so often clickbait) that the headline will make it sound like people using vitamins are all hypochondriacs who need to be told about how they should just eat more veggies.
And trust me, as someone who gets A LOT of unsolicited medical advice, I would bet that “most” people are not taking so many vitamins that they are endangering their health or hurting their wallets so, just, take those sorts of things with a serious grain of salt and think before you pass them along to others whose medical history you are not familiar with.
“I’ve never felt any pressure to perform sexual favors.” I’m not judging. Just laughing. Sounds like he was more than willing to perform sexual favors. Very crafty, nuanced answer.
I kind of like this guy.
Look I’d rather be born rich to west coast elite than to a lower middle class couple in a trailer in the south. And I’m grateful it was the latter vs born in the slums of New Delhi.
No matter where you are you can always find someone who had it better ( in your opinion) but also someone who had it worst. We all have our own beginnings that we can’t do squat about, so I’m not jumping on a bandwagon or smug snark toward the rich white guy over his ptivilege. If he is rude, if he harms others, etc …..that’s one thing.
But I refused to be insulted by his mere existence and his honest answers. We all have our problems in our lives. And wallowing in them is the human condition, and doing so while we dismiss the problems of others also requires a tremendous self importance. Maybe I can’t relate to his problems ………….but I can’t relate well enough to satisfy my parents either……but this seems like a good enough guy so I’m not on board with The vultures ready to puck apart any quote of his that isn’t utter self flagellation for being born rich and white. He had nothing thing to do with either.
I kind of like your comment! It does feel like it would be a lot of work to hate on this guy, don’t think I will either
That completely depends on the quality of your parents. I know PLENTY of people who grew up lower-middle class “in a trailer in the south” and they have wonderful lives. I also know plenty of people who were born wealthy in California and are now drug addicts or homeless. So I guess I’m saying, fuck you, haha. You need to travel more.
if that’s your takeaway from my comment.,,…,maybe you need to read more. 🤪
Word
I agree with everything you say about being up to your parents standards. And Armie seems to have had it rough. Whenever he speaks of his parents they seem off, maybe it was the money and expecting him to do more. I dunno but her mother seems like a such close minded being. In interviews he’s stated how his mother refuses to see the movie in which he does his best work yet because her being against gay people. If as a mother you can’t enjoy your son success because of your beliefs, there’s something wrong with you. So yeah, I kind of feel sorry for him to an extend.
I take B-12 because I have a chronic deficiency that was not able to be cured by dietary changes. The doctor said the levels in my blood were the lowest she had ever seen. So since I don’t intend to go around depressed and feeling like I’m in a constant fog I will continue to be self important and take my vitamin, thank you very much Mr. Hammer…
oh. i don’t thjbnnje meant people like you. he’s talking about his friends most likely and the insane diets and vitamins healthy people take, when their bodies just excrete it because it’s not needed.
You’re right, anon. I just don’t like it when people are all “I don’t do this thing because I’m so much more down to earth than everyone else”. I know people like this in real life, they don’t qualify that there are people who might actually need the thing they’re slamming, they just use the fact they don’t do it as a way to set themselves apart. It bugs me, it probably shouldn’t. I’m probably just extra cranky because of all the socializing I have to do because of Christmas.
Armie talks in hyperbolic language and metaphors. He seems introverted and unsure of himself like he has most of the thought in his head but it doesn’t articulate it fully when he says it out loud.
As someone who doesn’t always express themselves correctly I really shouldn’t jump to being so judgmental when someone else says something I deem to be impolite and ill-considered. I will try and work on that.
🙂 No worries.
I only recognize it from being around introverts, and I have a shy child who gets home and is a chatterbox. I have to correct her and ask her to clarify more often than I do the others. I don’t push her to talk in public, but she sure is thinking about a lot and taking notes in her little head.
Also from being bullied, I was quiet and just watched and observed in school. It took time to be confident in my thoughts and opinions when shared with new people or situations.
I have Aspergers syndrome so I, too, am quite introverted (to the point where I used to not talk in public at all). As I said before, I don’t always express myself correctly… a statement which is probably a big understatement.
Because of this I should look at things through a sympathetic lens and be less judgemental than I have shown myself to be here, but I will admit I am not perfect.
Thank you for being kinder and more understanding than I was. You’re a good person and I wish you the best in the new year to come!
I didn’t think he was saying that taking vitamins makes you self-important. My impression is that he was saying that the desire to live to 200 is self-important. In full context, he seemed to be talking about people wanting to live extremely long lives to the point of excess (200 vs. 100?) He did talk about all those guys in Silicon Valley trying to extend life (for whatever reason).
This was exactly his point.
I think his parents were expecting something different by naming him Armand Hammer I mean for crying out loud that is a box of baking soda. He has no chance to escape that he is from an affluent family with a long American history. That is a huge name to give to a child.
IDK, I’m not important but I really do need to take Vitamin D because apparently my skin repells the sun.
“but dude needs to understand that ‘kids making fun of his hair’ is not the same kind of struggle that other people have faced in their lives.”
That’s not what he was saying at all. Parents from every social and economic background are capable of instilling the same fears, insecurities and self-doubts in their children, and while their real-world motivations may be different, the real-world results are usually the same. For a timely example, look no further than what Prince Charles went through at Gordonstoun; even accounting for the liberties taken by “The Crown,” Charles himself said the time was hell and he refused to send his own sons there because of that experience.
Just because you’re in a privileged class doesn’t mean you are impervious to hellish situations and behavior by your peers and parents. And you shouldn’t be so tone deaf to pretend that beneath all the money, we’re not universally vulnerable to the same kinds of scars. There’s no need to create an Oppression Olympics for judging (or dismissing) the experiences of others.
Thank you. I had great parental and grand-parental pressure to “represent the family” too, and I came from what was probably lower middle class origins although it didn’t seem so to me at the time.
Some of his words are problematic, but it seems he is trying hard to evolve. He’s still young, he’ll stumble. His acting is improving over time, as well. Not every actor can start out as proficient as Robert De Niro or Meryl Streep. I’m not ready to write him off.
I really like armie. I like how quirky he is. And I feel like his interview style has really improved compared to a few years back. I think he’s probably done some pr training.
The movie is one of the most beautiful pieces of cinema that I have seen. Kubrick level. So love it. It truly is a work of art.
I thought his answer about “representation” meant that his parents wanted him to be more than an actor (sort of like how Jackie O expected JFK Jr. to do what all the other Kennedys do — become politicians rather than movie stars).
I imagine they must have been a bit put off and said he wanted to audition rather than do whatever it is that all those upper class people do. This is only my speculation. But given how people make his pedigree sound, being an actor might be step down in his family’s eyes. Sure, you can be rich as an actor, but very few people make it to the level of Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt where you’re respected in a different way than someone who stars on Chicago Med.
He is gorgeous. That’s all.
I need vitamins to live. It’s a prescription dose. I guess I have an up-jumped sense of self-importance. Ass.
I think the “it” in his statement refers to life extension to 200 years old, not vitamins.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that he’s not talking about you. He doesn’t know you. He’s talking about people in his circle who take vitamins when they don’t really need to because it’s trendy – or they think it’s going to make them live to 200.
If you have to take vitamins to survive, he’s clearly not talking about you. No need to get so worked up about it.
Everyone takes everything so personally all of the time.
Well, he was bullied as a kid. He was fat and had an accent after he lived for years in the Caribbean. And when he came back to America, LA kids made fun of him so bad he cried himself to sleep for years and his grades suffered. Why would anyone dismiss his pain cause his parents are rich? He doesn’t seem to be rich if he’s talking about a dream house he can’t afford. It looks like Call Me By Your Name changed him. Good for him. As for vitamins, most of them don’t work unless you have been prescribed by an actual MD.
@Sarah: Preach it sister! People get to hate him because of his upbringing to which he didn’t have any choice (as everyone else) yet, the moment he says something everyone is: boohoo, go dry your tears with your Benjamins. Not fair
I think the self-importance part was about “life extension”, not the vitamins. He was contrasting himself with his pals and sorta patting himself on the back, but I don’t think he was looking down on taking vitamins.
To be honest, I don’t get why anyone would want to live to 200 years old either. What’s the point of being alive when all your friends and lovers and partners and children and parents are dead? I do think you do sort of have to have a big ego to think anyone would care that you get to be around for that long. Either that, or the guys in Silicon Valley, for all their brains, haven’t thought that far ahead.
Could you imagine what Tesla would have accomplished if he lived till 200?! We would have Jetson rides.
I’m a huge fan of Armie. I loved what he did in CMBYN and his chemistry with Timothee is absolutely off the chain. He definitely has hidden depths as an actor and a person.
“But I guarantee that other people didn’t have [parents] beating into their skull that they were the ‘representation of the family’. ”
Well I guess he never talked to a daughter of immigrants then.
Conspiracy theory: Buzzfeed article was spon con that took a roundabout AF approach to finally making AH happen.
My theory: it worked.
He’s the male Emily Rata.
There’s something bitter about listening to someone who confirms to all gendered expectations then lecture you on how tough they had it.
It ends up feeling very self masturbatory, Listen to Armie tell us things, he’s not just a perfect specimen by the old standards, he’s perfect by the new ones too!
It’s also strange to me to be applauding him on his journey towards being an ally, when we cut down women who aren’t finished theirs yet. It’s like we expect men to be shitty rapist failures, and expect that women lived through that trauma so should know better. Kind of messed up.