The concept of “triggering” has been co-opted by so many political jackasses. So many Deplorables throw the word around to make fun of “liberals” being “triggered” by various things: Donald Trump, fascism, Nazism. In turn, political liberals/progressives throw it back in the Deplorables’ faces, since they seem to freak the f–k out over minor sh-t all the time. In any case, real people can be triggered by traumatic stories or actual physical trauma.
I’m not going to claim that I was triggered by the Harvey Weinstein revelations, because I’ve never been traumatized to a point where I had those kinds of physical or psychological scars. I will say that Annabella Sciorra’s story about Harvey Weinstein has haunted me, out of all his victims’ stories. But there were so many #MeToo stories like that over the past four months, stories which stuck to me and made me think about my past and my friends’ pasts and so much more. Is that triggering? Or is it just compassion, and feeling so sorry for someone that you feel physically ill? Anyway, I bring this up because Oprah Winfrey and Reese Witherspoon were around each other when the Harvey Weinstein stories started breaking. Oprah says that Reese’s reaction was something like PTSD.
The Harvey Weinstein scandal definitely had far-reaching effects when it comes to Hollywood’s biggest A-listers. Oprah Winfrey recently chatted with Salma Hayek as part of her Super Soul Sunday Conversation special, when she revealed that her Wrinkle in Time co-star, Reese Witherspoon, was also greatly affected by the Weinstein scandal when it first broke last October. Winfrey said Witherspoon was showing signs of suffering from PTSD, including crying at the mention of Weinstein’s name and not being able to sleep.
“I was on set with Reese Witherspoon, who has since spoken out … and some other actresses, who haven’t spoken out, so I won’t say who they were, and this was like two days after the Harvey scandal had broken in The New York Times,” Winfrey said. “Everyone, including Reese — I’ve said this to her — was acting like, I was seeing some of the girls at my school behave, who were suffering from PTSD. Everybody was acting like they were afraid and they were having the conversation.”
“And I remember Reese saying, ‘Oh god, this is just so upsetting. And someone mentions his name, I start tearing up. And every time I hear someone else speak, it just causes me to be upset and I haven’t slept in two days,'” Winfrey recalled. “So I said, ‘Jeez, you guys are suffering from PTSD. Did something happen to you?’ Nobody said anything at the time.”
During Hayek and Winfrey’s candid conversation, Hayek also said she was suffering from PTSD due to her experience with Weinstein during filming for 2002’s critically acclaimed Frida. Hayek detailed her allegations against Weinstein in a December op-ed for The New York Times.
“They contacted me to be a part of the first story, The New York Times… already I started crying when they asked, and I ended up not doing it,” Hayek told Winfrey. “I started crying because [I had PTSD].”
I understand how and why Salma describes her own reaction as PTSD – because she was directly and repeatedly victimized, harassed and abused by Harvey Weinstein, and she is close friends with several of Weinstein’s other victims too. As for Oprah saying that Reese showed signs of PTSD… I don’t know. I don’t care for the way Oprah is seemingly suggesting that Reese had a story about Weinstein in particular. Reese has her own #MeToo stories, and they are her stories to tell in whatever way she chooses to tell them (or not tell them, it’s her choice). Reese has already spoken about being sexually assaulted by a director when she was just 16, and she’s also revealed that she was in an abusive relationship when she was younger. It’s more than possible that Reese was triggered by hearing the Harvey Weinstein stories, and that the Weinstein revelations made her think back to so much of her past (which is what happened to so many of us, that’s how #MeToo was born).
Photos courtesy of Getty.
It’s the same for me. Anabella Sciorra’s recounting of her violent rape by Harvey is the most haunting for me and all she went through in the aftermath with Harvey. Her terror just sticks in my mind so vividly.
Are there ANY actresses who didn’t have to go through this and enjoed working on their career?! What a terrible thing to know that an artist, an already vulnerable and sensitive person most of the time, has to go through abuse just to stay in the profession they love and work hard to succeed at.
As in, they were convinced it’s part of the job, you’ll wreck the show/careers if you talk, etc.
As I posted downthread, I’m following the Eggert story, and that’s basically what she claims happened to her. She was a teenager, and feels she was taken advantage of by the much older lead actor over the course of the sitcom’s run (which was several years).
I totally get it. Don’t know how I feel about Oprah discussing it, but whatever. My personal feelings kept building. Then I kinda lost it (or found it) when Dushku unleashed 30 years of inner turmoil. I actually said some things out loud I’d never said. Weird moments.
“I actually said some things out loud I’d never said.“
This happened to me recently, but it was Trump’s “grab them by the p*ssy” comments that did it to me. I started thinking of all of the things that happened to me, and I couldn’t hold it all in my head, so I made a list of my events. And it was so long, it made me sob. I sobbed off and on for days, thinking of who I am and how much my list shaped me. Then I told my boyfriend and my sister so they’d know what I was dealing with. I feel more healed now.
I’m proud of you Tiffany. To write those things down… is so very hard. You really owned the pain, you grieved and moved through. That’s so commendable and so strong! I don’t think I could ever sit down and write a list because I’m still so ingrained in old sensibilities that I played a part and am partially to blame. I realize, now, I should never have been put in those physical and/or verbal positions, but I was. And until recently, I guess I thought I had dealt with it all. As much as I like to make light of life, joke and laugh, some things are pretty damn heavy and supremely uncomfortable.
Thank you so much! The act of writing things down helped me incredibly. It was like it took it out of my head. It allowed me to process it in a way that I couldn’t when I was just thinking about it. Whatever path comforts your heart the most, I fully support your journey. Big hugs to you.
I talked to my mum. Openly. Cos i knew i cannot be the one to blame cos i was 11 and 12 and while i wasn’t raped i know I was used as sexual object. It explains my wild teen years. It explains my insecurities. And I’m grateful for every me too story. I read many on IG. It’s a relief.
Tiffany,
I would hug you in solidarity if I could. I am so glad you found a healthy outlet and love and compassion from those around you. You are a survivor, be proud. #metoo
Same here. I don’t think Oprah or anyone has any business telling anyone else’s story for them, of course. But same for me for telling stories you’ve never said out loud before.
BIG, STRONG (yet gentle!) virtual hugs to all 3 of you 💔 💝 Never stop fighting tape & feel your truth!
Reading about all of these stories definitely set off my own PTSD from being assaulted and abused. Not to the point that I couldn’t go to work, but I was noticeably more anxious and withdrawn. I thought about what happened to me more often than I would have. The frequency of nightmares increased.
I doubt I’m alone in that experience.
Same here, Cee Emm, so you are definitely not alone!
You are not alone. I imagine these conversations are very triggering
You aren’t alone.
I was barely holding it together sometimes. Memories came back with a vengeance, and suppressed feelings came to the surface. I would tear up out of nowhere.
I felt haunted and vulnerable.
There was a day or two I didn’t leave my bed. I felt exhausted by it all.
The commandeering of the word ‘triggered’ by the alt right is nothing short of tragic. People no longer take PTSD seriously, or we equate it to some kind of sign of weakness instead of a psychological reflex.
I’ll be interested to hear the conversation (I listen to these podcasts anyway). It sounds like what Oprah meant is that many women had a very negative, involuntary reaction when the #metoo conversation started, out of deeply rooted fear. Like, we all collectively shuddered at the thought of how we would be punished once the stories started coming out. I’m not sure if that’s PTSD or the dread of upsetting the Patriarch. But I’ll have to hear it in context, Oprah sometimes makes interesting connections between topics that I didn’t otherwise see.
i understand this. i think a lot of women are revisiting incidents in their life and realizing that they were not ok, not normal, inappropriate, possibly criminal and that you were victimized. when those visions come back to you and you start replaying them in your head from a different angle – it is easy to be stunned by how naive you were or sad to learn your silence could have endangered others.
Yes, I agree.
That has been a huge guilty issue of mine. I was raped four times by five different men and not ONCE did I pursue charges. I felt like I had brought those situations on myself. But dear God who got hurt by those men after me. I failed to protect future women in their path by my silence. I think I’m going to ugly cry at work now.
It was not your job or your responsibility, gatorbait. The blame is on the rapists, not on you. You did what you were capable of doing at the time. If you could have done more, you would have. It is not your fault in any way. You are innocent. You didn’t rape or victimize anyone.
please don’t blame yourself or feel guilty – we all process assaults and their aftermaths differently. You did nothing wrong. Hugs.
Thanks you guys. I will try to keep that in mind. I just hear all these comments on so many stories about how the women who didn’t come forward till now caused others to be harmed. Sometimes I have to sit and remind myself of only what is true of my situation.
Big hugs to you, gatorbait. The only people that cause others to be harmed are the perpetrators. You are a victim of crime, not the person who committed a crime. When you have been the victim, it is perfectly ok for you to put yourself and your survival first. That you have been through so much and are still thinking of others, it tells me that you are an incredibly strong and thoughtful person.
i’m so sorry that happened to you and it was absolutely not your fault. not in *any* way, shape or form. the only person at fault is the person who assaulted you.
i want to be clear, b/c in my original message i don’t think i was, that i don’t think women SHOULD feel that way. it is not a woman’s responsibility to protect others from being victims of a criminal. but i do think people, like reese witherspoon and myself frankly, are being hit with these thoughts really heavily right now and it *is* causing some type of PTSD of reliving the shame and the guilt all over again.
@gatorbait.
You did the best you could at the time. That is all anyone can do and ask of you. The perpetrators are at fault. Not you.
I understand the questioning, but it is time to stop. At least try. Be kind to yourself and forgive what isn’t your fault in the first place.
I agree. I think I tried to block out some of mine.
I forbid my son to use the word triggered in my house. I have genuine PTSD from years of frequent sexual assault and abuse in multiple ways from multiple people. There are things that actually trigger me. Kids today use it as slang and it makes me really angry. I have tried to discuss the reasons it is wrong with my son but he still finds it funny. I worry about him.
These stories (the Harvey W. one and all subsequent stories since) have also re-triggered the PTSD symptoms I had been able to control for so long. So I feel them completely.
I’m so sorry, gatorbait.
It’s been the same for me. I wouldn’t say it’s been PTSD, because I have two friends with the diagnosis, and it’s different. But every day since the Weinstein story broke, I’ve had the things that happened to me come back to my mind. I’ll lie awake at night and count them and relive them. I’m kind of astounded at how many there are. I think I’ve worked through everything and then out of the blue a new memory will resurface. And then some are just so awful that no amount of working through them seems to help. All I’m doing is just reinjuring myself, beating myself with it and can’t seem to stop. The Aziz thing in a way was maybe even worse for me, because what I’ve experienced in the Weinstein-type category I can sort of feel more innocent about, but I’ve got a longer list of Aziz-type stuff that I can’t deal with myself over. I’m thinking I might have to get some therapy eventually because this is all affecting my sleep and my daily life. I can’t seem to move past it. I have assumed that it is this way for everyone since every single woman I know is a “me too” in one way or another. We all have had to think about it and revictimize ourselves at least a little bit with the memory. I heard people say things like “if that’s assault, every woman I know has been assaulted,” and I would think “you are so damn close to getting it.”
I am sorry you went through hard times too. This is too prevalent. I no longer believe the 1 in 4 statistic. I know 100’s of women and not one has lived an assault free life. SMH…
Thanks for your kind words in my thread.
I, too, have a long list of Aziz-type situations that I’m struggling to come to terms with. Not only is there anger at the Aziz for being a total f’ing pig but there’s also anger at my younger, naive self for allowing myself to be treated that way and not just karate chopping a groin and getting out of there. The me of today certainly would. But the me of my early twenties was insecure, too sheltered, too trusting and ultimately just wanted to be loved/liked. How many years have I wasted being mad at that girl? It’s bullshit. Time to put the anger where it belongs, where it can be useful, and let go of the kind that’s poisonous to myself. I hope that you can do the same. It wasn’t either of our faults.
Salma was also in this weird movie directed by Tarentino and Rodriguez from Dusk till dawn. They initially said to her they will have strippers then somehow pushed her to be the stripper. Then Tarentino tells her she will be dancing with snakes and she decline because it was her biggest fear. His answer? Well Madonna will do it (suggesting you’re out if you don’t agree). She felt she was dancing just for him (insinuating she had to dance for him and him only because there was no one else, while wearing a tiny ‘kini)
he gets off on hurting actresses. He’s sick. Waiting for some creepier stuff to come out about him.
Of course, I also think of what the girls at Oprah’s school must have gone through to have PTSD too. My God.
Yeah, I thought about it too 🙁
As someone who has been formally diagnosed with PTSD, I believe her. Fight or flight. Mine comes from childhood events doubled by abusive ex, while I share a child with. Therapy has helped me tremendously.
I wonder if reese has confronted her husband over his part in the CAA cover up?
Good question. Rose mcgowen and Rae dawn chong have called Caa Pimps.
What was his part? I have not heard about that?
But this story isn’t about Reese’s husband. It is about her. Why are you diminishing her experiences?
as a woman who has been recently dx with PTSD, I will tell you that we going to see way more of this diagnosis being given to women going forward. and I send love and light to all of those who have gone through trauma. a Women’s Trauma Program is the only reason im still here today….
When the Weinstein story broke, I suffered some serious flashbacks. I totally see this happening for all abuse victims.
I couldn’t believe that, after all these years and with all the therapy I’d had, the horror, terror and sense of helplessness could return with such force as to re-traumatize to the point I couldn’t carry on a conversation without bursting into tears. I finally broke down and told my husband everything — every little detail, every name — everything. He’s still in shock.
For years I offered him sparse details — I didn’t want to relive these horrors, I didn’t want him to be horrified, and I have to confess, even though he’s a very supportive husband, I was afraid he would either not believe me, or worse, tune it out. He believed me, but now I feel guilty that he has to carry this burden.
For me it was when the Mel Gibson tapes of him yelling at his grilfriend/wife whatever she was at the time were released. I had managed to compartmentalize and “it’s not that big of a deal” an extremely abusive relationship just so I could move on with my life. When I heard those tapes I flipped the eff out and had to step back and say, “OK, you were abused and traumatized. Admit that it was horrible and figure out how to face it.” I had gone so far into denial that after the initial shock it was like I was trying to minimize what MG did because it happened to me and it was no big deal, right? … but then everyone else said it WAS a big, abusive deal which helped me come to terms with it. It was important to hear from other people that it was not OK. And I still have MG’s face and it disgusts me that anyone would work with him, ever. It has now carried over into hating Will Farrel for putting MG in that last stupid Daddy movie.
I can completely understand how all of the Metoo stuff can prompt PTSD symptoms from anyone what has endured abuses. I honour and respect that Reese has had these experiences, but I am a little suspect of how her and other powerful Hollywood women have built and centered the movement creating Times Up. Reese seems to only discuss HW and never the major network of agents etc. that supported him. Her husband is a major player at CAA and I think it is very convenient to deny the entirety of how HW operated.
Is no one going after CAA?? Their apology is completely insufficient, they should be identifying who knowingly sent women to him and have them fired. I am worried that this movement will not have any effect if we focus solely on one individuals actions.
You are right Emily. When you squash one cockroach you know there are a million hiding in the walls and floor. We must not stop until we squash them ALL.
Exactly and the entire system that s set up to protect them. There is a culture of secrecy and shame that comes with these behaviours. Actresses constantly being called bitchy or demanding or difficult that makes is almost impossible to speak out without retribution. As far as I know the agents and publicisists do the most gossip damage than anyone but no one cares because they are not a glossy name.
Not to thread highjack but people are targeting Tarantino (separate debate) and ignoring the actual perpetrator of these crimes because it is old news and not of that much interest to revisit the Polanski case.
Another story that seems to be gaining steam (though about more C-list than A-list) involves cast members of a 1980s sitcom about a sitter named Charles.
The accused is now known for his political views than his acting work, so the primary accuser is getting a lot of pushback and accusations that her claims are somehow politically motivated.
There’s also one about Vincent Cirrincione, whose targets were women of color coming into the industry. He’s been accused of sexual misconduct by 9 different women. Jezebel and Washington Post had articles about how racism in Hollywood enabled him and how, similar to Weinstein, he used more famous women’s names to get actresses to trust him.
I want to hear more about this. Celebitchy, please cover this story.
That is awful. I’ve got to read up on that story.
Do you mean Charles in Charge, Scott Baio?
I really admire these women for speaking out, it’s very hard to do, especially on a public platform. It helped so many others, which is wonderful.
Wake me up when this is all over.
The #metoo movement was certainly triggering for me. It dredged up a lot of memories, and I had never laid all those memories out together side by side. I was taken aback with the number of incidents that I’ve experienced from preteen to just a few years ago. I have gone through a host of emotions since the #metoo movement began. I hadn’t thought about it as PTSD but yeah that fits.
Not to minimise anyone having ptsd from the Weinstein revelations, but I agree that this isn’t really Oprah’s story to tell, and can’t help but side eye this story as a sympathy wash for someone with links to CAA who need to answer for their role in all of this, as angry as rose mcgowan is and hard for a lot of people to listen to right now I think that she is spot on with her criticism of times up being a face saving measure for CAA
I’m afraid Reese’s story may be about the director of Freeway, which was one of my favorite movies in my early 20s. I heard later the director was a creeper, and I was so disappointed, because what was presented as a dark allegory of Red Riding Hood was actually his weirdo fantasy.
I had Acute Stress Reaction last year when I was dealing with multiple pregnancy losses and some health insurance issues. It was seriously awful. Something like a phone call from my medical insurance would trigger my anxiety and I would have uncontrollable bouts of crying where my heart would race and I would sweat. I was depressed, paranoid, didn’t sleep, I drank a lot, I had extreme emotional reactions and I had a terrible feeling of foreboding. I had terrible anxiety that something terrible was always about to happen. I work in an open office and the lack of support was terrible. Everyone just pretended nothing was happening.
Thankfully I had an awesome therapist and I realized that considering the trauma I wasn’t SUPPOSED to be ok. Most of my reactions were normal considering the high stress. The problem was that my work, my friends and my family couldn’t really handle me not functioning at 100% and I wasn’t really allowed by the circumstances to grieve in a healthy way. Everyone just wanted me to immediately be ok and function like nothing happened.
I’m also a survivor of abuse and assault so my past trauma changed the way I reacted to trauma as an adult. The real issue is not that everyone has PTSD, it’s that after a traumatic event people really are not supported so they can process and overcome in a healthy way. Most people can’t afford to take time off work. And others are really made uncomfortable when bad things happen. They want to blame the victim so they feel like the same thing couldn’t happen to them. Most people probably don’t talk about issues for fear of being blamed.
I know so many young women who claim to have anxiety or OCD like it’s a cute quirk instead of a life debilitating condition. Then if someone they know REALLY has anxiety then that person is crazy and treated like a pariah. It sounds like having a couple of sleepless nights and crying at a sensitive subject don’t really equal PTSD. That sounds like a normal stress response to hearing disturbing events that hit home.