Official says Winehouse will bring “untold human suffering” to St. Lucia

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Politicians love to exaggerate. Okay to be fair, so do writers. I am incapable of speaking in anything other than hyperbole 90% of the time. But normally you can tell when someone’s exaggerating to make a point versus… well going totally crazy. That seems to be the deal with a former governor-general in St. Lucia, who has gone absolutely mental at the idea that Amy Winehouse may live there permanently. He did everything but compare her to plagues and locusts and talk about how she’ll munch on the souls of kittens.

AMY Winehouse is a “tattooed reptile” who will bring “untold human suffering” to St. Lucia. The former governor of the Caribbean island has written a public appeal begging officials to stop the Rehab singer from buying a house and settling there permanently.

Jeff Fedee wrote in the St. Lucia Star newspaper: “I would strongly urge she be denied residency status to purchase property in St. Lucia. Is she being given special treatment? She’d be a menace and a dangerous influence to our society because the demons that inhabit her tortured body will have to be fed.”

[From the Daily Telegraph]

Um… day-um. Someone is clearly not a fan. Bitter, party of one? What other clichés can I throw out there? It’s one thing to say, “Hey, this Amy Winehouse is not a good character, I don’t think she’s the type of person we want living here.” It’s quite another to say “her tortured body will have to be fed.” Which, I’m sorry, is very zombie-like, and thus totally passé. From the vast majority of reports most of the island’s residents like Amy just fine. Even after she played naked Scrabble with some old people and crawled up to people’s tables begging for drinks. So, I don’t know, it seems like they’ve found a good compromise that works for most of the people. No previous reports of reptile-esq name calling.

I hope if she does stay, Amy decides to park her “tortured body” in a house right next door to this guy.

Thanks to Agent Bedhead for the story idea.

Here’s Amy in Saint Lucia on April 6th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.
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13 Responses to “Official says Winehouse will bring “untold human suffering” to St. Lucia”

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  1. gg says:

    I love you JayBird. You slay me.

    :D

  2. Madchen says:

    JB, it’s the _demons_ that inhabit her tortured body that will need to be fed. I don’t think she feeds her actual body – except with pharmaceuticals maybe.

  3. morgs says:

    I would have the exact same reaction if this twat wanted to be my neighbor.

  4. Lem says:

    “tattooed reptile”
    reptile?

  5. Aside from the reptile part I agree with the man. I know its sad, but she is one f***** up person. No one can help her but her and apparently she doesn’t think she has a problem. I would never want her as my neighbor or for her to live anywhere near me or anyone I know. The only good thing about having her around children is for a real life example of why you shouldn’t do certain things.

  6. Layla says:

    She is so disgusting. She’s just repulsive.

  7. Christina X says:

    Oh, FFS, she doesn’t hurt anyone.

    She’s a junkie, but let the woman be. She seems to be friendly with the locals.

  8. Pat Dury says:

    At least she has a purpose in life…..even if it is only to serve as a warning to others!

  9. gloria monti says:

    are you people nuts? amy winehouse is the best thing that happened to the music world since billie holiday. instead, i would worry about sarah palin coming to the neighborhood ….

  10. Tiff says:

    I wish I could pick my neighbors!

  11. Arnold says:

    LOL I’m from the Caribbean and when I read this I had to LOL “the demons that inhabit her tortured body will have to be fed” XD hmm she’s pretty close to our island St.Lucia is only a few miles from Dominica.