Kristen Bell covers the latest digital issue of Self. It’s a detailed profile about how the pandemic and all of its pitfalls have affected Kristen. Like most of us, she faced many challenges that compounded the long and arduous lockdown. Being a mental health advocate, Kristen strived to be completely open about what she’s struggled with so others facing the same battles will feel less alone. However, she also knows the advantages she has that others don’t, and she talked about that too. She talked about everything. Everything. From what she did to get through the boredom, to being the breadwinner to how she coped with her husband Dax Shepard’s relapse to how often they have sex.
On her mental health during the pandemic: I know that I present someone who is very bubbly and happy all the time, and a lot of the time I am, because I have really good tools. But there are definitely days when the alarm goes off and I go, ‘No, I’m staying right here. Nothing’s worth it… I’m just going to stay in this cocoon because I need to; because I feel very, very, very vulnerable. I have trouble distinguishing between my emotions and someone else’s emotions, and that’s not a compliment to myself. That’s a very dangerous thing to toy with.
On relationships: I don’t want any young person feeling like there’s a fantasy out there that they just have to find the right person. That’s not how humans work. People change. People grow…. Relationships aren’t a puzzle. You cannot pick them up and put them down.
On Dax’s relapse: We realized, ‘Okay, our math wasn’t working. I mean, he admitted it so quickly. It was like, ‘I did something that I don’t want to do. I’m going down a bad road. I want help. I want your help,’ and I looked at him and I said, ‘Okay, you come up with the new math.’
On their sex life: There are some times when it’s in the calendar. You’re like, ‘I know you’re tired, but it’s been two weeks, so we really got to get to it.
On being the breadwinner: Can I tell you something? I think I’ve always outearned him. (I don’t) have the desire to walk [Shepard] through his feelings about it. He can get over it. I got a lot of opportunity, you’re sharing in it, we’re able to provide for a ton of our family members who may or may not be struggling. I don’t look at it like, ‘This is mine and this is yours.’ I’m like, ‘This is ours. Get over it. I would talk to him about it if he felt emasculated, but… certainly, it’s not on my list to be like, ‘Let me make sure he’s okay.’ I have had a shit ton of opportunity. I’ve also worked my ass off.
Part of my problem with Kristen is that I am so much like her. I talk too much too, everyone always lets me know that. So I look at Kristen’s interviews through my fingers saying, “not so much!” But that’s why I cut her slack, because I know where she’s coming from. I don’t think we need to know that she and Dax have to schedule sex. I’m sure couples had varied stats in the bedroom during lockdown and maybe some were feeling insecure. So maybe this admission was a relief to someone. It’s her life to share, but I worry about her giving up too much of herself. I loved her answer about money, though. The reason she prefaces her comments with “I think I’ve always out earned him,” is because it’s assumed that when they met, Dax made more money and Kristen overtook him during their relationship. I absolutely relish the day it doesn’t matter what gender makes more money, they are simply acknowledged for the work they did to earn it. My guess is Dax has “gotten over it” and she’s really telling everyone else to “get over” the fact that she’s the money maker.
I didn’t understand her comments about “new math” when discussing Dax’s relapse. Kristen has a habit of reaching too far for a metaphor when discussing topics, but I think in this case, she may not be ready to discuss it yet. I think it scared her and that’s why Dax and his over-involved producing partner have done more press on it. She also overexplained how she and Dax talked to their kids about BLM, but it was so convoluted, I couldn’t even excerpt it.
Photo credit: Self and Instagram
JC-talk about oversharing! For people who complain about their kids’ privacy, they put SO MUCH personal information out there. Save it for your therapists and your friends. None of us need to know all of this. I loved her on The Good Place, but this just pains me.
I only know who they are because of this site and the comments.
Relapses are horrendous, and the road back is hard. (I have personal experience with that) . I wish him well with his recovery
Both her and Chrissy just talk too f*%+#ing much! Keep some things private girl, even if asked but I’d take her any day over Chrissy I’ll admit. I hope Dax is doing well with his recovery and their family stays strong❤️
Possibly she’s talking about the literal maths of realising he’d taken more pain pills than he was meant to? I seem to remember something about that. Towards the end it seems more metaphorical though.
The styling on that photo shoot was awful!
Agree – esp the top pic… yikes!
There was a time when I think I really liked Kristen Bell. Overexposure totally killed that for me. At some point she stopped being known as an actress and started being known as a personality and one-half of a dysfunctional couple with Dax. It’s unfortunate.
I too am an oversharer and it’s something I try to working on being better at. But I still don’t like this lady or her husband. Her purple people book and her trying to whyte-splain how people deal with police brutality when Mr. Floyd was murdered infuriate me. I’m also really concerned for Dax’s podcast producer Monica. After he confessed his relapse and seeing how intertwined she is with that family I’m so nervous for her.
Yeah, the dynamic with Monica seems really precarious (for her). I used to like Kristen, but I’m more on the fence these days. There’s a sketchy dynamic going on there in terms of power and consent with Monica.
Omg, SHUT UP. She is the most insufferable celeb out there, along with her husband. No wonder she was conspicuously absent and untagged in the Instagram photo of all her Good Place costars having a sleepover, they probably can’t stand to be in the same room with her unless it was for the job.
Wow @Sarah – didn’t know that about her Good Place costars, but can totally understand why though.
This year might be the first one in nearly a decade where mine and my husband’s income will be closer to matching, it definitely is a lot of pressure being a female breadwinner because society creates a lot of stories that even a really feminist man can subconsciously buy into. We had a lot of talks and fights over the years about it. So much of you wants to not buy into ‘i did this, this is mine’ but at the same time the early conversations about budgets, I had to start because I was ‘on the hook’ more or less. Not fun.
I’ve been the breadwinner in my marriage for about a decade. My husband is proud of me and my success and very thankful that my career has allowed him to switch careers midlife for something less lucrative but more fulfilling. Maybe at some point he felt emasculated, but if he did, he kept it to himself!
It wasn’t the easiest transition for either of us, but the money stuff was only a small part of that. Neither of us care where it comes from as long as we can pay our bills!
My income surpassed my partner’s a few years ago and will continue to grow while his is mostly topped out. I can’t fathom a world where we would need to make a conversation out of that fact.
I have a feeling once these two get divorced, it’ll be like the Jana Kramer/Mike Caussin thing. No one will be surprised, and no one will be asking why. These two have already laid out their life in detail.
Yup, they remind me so much of that messy situation with Jana Kramer. When you detail for years how exhausting it is to work on your marriage, people start to think it’s not going to end well! Relationships are work, but they shouldn’t be THAT hard.
As I read this article the voice in my head screamed “Just get a divorce already ffs!”
I feel like they’re staying together for the kids at this point and that’s a terrible idea.
I think the math was in reference to number of days sober. I think I read something here about how he was so tied to the length of his sobriety and didn’t like having to start back over as it was part of his identity. Maybe she meant they need to find another way of describing his sobriety?
I took the new math part to be about his recovery plan & it made sense to me. His old math to stay sober (how many meetings, working steps, etc) obviously wasn’t working since he was relapsing, so he needed to work to come up with a new system, or math equation, to produce the correct result.
I like her, I like that she overshares. I can relate to a lot of what she says.
@mega283 same here. I like Kristen, Dax and Monica a lot. I think they realized not everyone is ok with them. I’m fascinated when people complain some celebrities do not share their personal story , but also complain when celebrities share too much of their story.
Yah, scheduling sex is not at all surprising. It’s actually a vital component of couples therapy for people who are committed to working on their relationship. And they have young kids and jobs. Makes sense. I’m sure there are people who will read this and feel less alone.
They seem intent on publicizing as much about their bad marriage as they can. They are two of the thirstiest people in the industry — totally any-press-is-good-press types.
I get it, it is TMI intimate… yes, they have kids and for privacy likely have to lock in childcare but I don’t want it need to know this..
I feel like Kristen is trying to convince herself that her marriage is healthy. Dax is very high maintenance, is an addict, and she is the breadwinner? They have to schedule sex? I would be pissed off if my husband put me in a position where I have to schedule sex with him! She stands by Dax, supports the family and has to deal with his neverending sh*t. Kristen is too good for him, and she overshares because she is trying to normalize this mess.
I think Kristen is as high maintenance as he is. She has her own issues. I am sorry to hear about his lapse. That’s tough after you’ve gone so long.
I have to add that Kristen may have made more than Dax over the course of their marriage, but he isn’t a slouch. His podcast has been very popular. I don’t know what he made in 2020 for his podcast, but Forbes listed him in the top five podcast category as far as earnings for 2019. He was number four and Forbes stated he made $9 million a year.
OH MY GOSH STFUUUUUUUUU. Can’t stand this chick or her stupid husband. Zip it for once!
How is scheduled sex fun? Where is the spontaneity, the chemistry? You don’t turn that off and on at will . If the feeling isn’t there, out of luck. If you have to “really work” on your marriage and have sex by appointment, the ship is already sailing. Bon voyage.