These are just two little promos for Gerard Butler’s first-time hosting gig for this week’s Saturday Night Live. That’s not a SNL wardrobe coat, by the way. That’s his own coat. I know because he wears it all the time, and because whenever I see a picture of Gerry wearing that damn thing, I think, “Who’s the black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks? SHAFT!”. Maybe it’s something about the 70s style butterfly collar. Maybe it’s the dirty “I’d nail you in a commune” vibe that Gerard gives off. Anyway, in the first promo Will Forte asks Gerard “Have you ever seen the Loch Ness monster?” Gerry replies: “No, why do you ask?” in his lovely Scottish brogue. In the second promo, Will Forte actually says, “Gerard Butler? I hardly knew her!” I have to admit, I chuckled.

There are also two new Gerard Butler interviews out there. I’m not sure where the first one originated from, but it’s a short one. Gerard is basically talking about his image and how “boring” he is in real life. Gerard says: “I just like to go back home and chill out with friends. It sounds really boring but it’s true. Sometimes I finish a movie and I get used to a certain lifestyle and when that stops I get a bit lost for about a week. ‘No one is bringing me lunch anymore — I’ve gotta go do that myself?’ I lose the main point of my focus. Often all I want to do is travel and just get the hell outta there. But I’m actually boring really.” Know that I have those words in my head, I have to wonder… do you think Gerard is boring in bed? I’m really asking. I always thought that he’d probably be a hell of a lot of fun. But now I’m wondering…

…And I’m still wondering. Mm. It’s nice to have a little daydream about his cupcakes. Anyway, here’s his interview in Parade. It includes Gerard talking about his ass again (or maybe it’s the same old quote). He also talks about his mom, who sounds like a pretty righteous lady:

When to take a stand.
“My mom was a big fighter who would never turn the other cheek. Like, if she had an issue, she would take you on and confront you. And more than a few times she’d be on your case in public. I was always like, ‘Oh, mom, don’t. Just let it go.’ But I think there is a time to stand up for what you believe in and that’s definitely what my character does in this movie. I think it can be pretty cathartic and empowering for audiences because they know that terrorists are allowed to play by any rules and we can’t. There are certain rules that we have to abide by, and I think that gets very frustrating.”

Where he draws the line.
“You imagine anybody touching your family and you think, ‘I wouldn’t just pay them back, I’d do worse.’ I have a lot of fire in me when it comes to that. I can understand that motivation of taking your own pain and turning it into calculating revenge. I would take great joy in making them suffer in the most horrific ways. I mean, how could you possibly turn the other cheek?”

Speaking of cheeks.
“I do once again get a bare butt scene in this movie. I love to show my rear-end in roles. I’m thinking it’s becoming a bit of a habit, a bit of a tradition that I have to show my a— in every movie that I can. No, actually it was always a great moment and it speaks volumes about this character. So if there is a scene where I have to drop my drawers and I think there is a genius reason behind it, I’m ready. If I have to bare my a— again in future films, then so be it.”

His cheeky secret.
“I’ve always had a tight a—. Actually, I have kind of a skinny, tight a—. I can’t believe we’re talking about this. I did want a certain look for my body in this movie. I was kind of inspired by watching De Niro in Taxi Driver. You know, there’s that scene where he’s doing the push-ups and he’s so cut. But whenever I make those decisions to get ripped to shreds for a role, I go, ‘Oh, s—. Here we go. It’s going to be another three months of trying to diet and trying to get myself back in shape.”

Not your typical fitness buff.
“I’m very extreme, so sometimes I keep it in my head to train a lot and other times I just abandon the whole thing, especially when I travel. Sometimes I get into traveling mode and pop off to New York or Scotland and London or even into Iceland and India. When I’m doing that, it’s very difficult to keep up my fitness regime. So then I just start eating like a pig until I think, ‘OK, it’s time to swing the other way again.’ I’d say it’s a constant battle.”

Sharing the set with Jennifer Aniston and many paparazzi.
“When we did The Bounty together, there was by far the most paparazzi I’ve ever seen around a movie set. Unfortunately, for poor Jennifer, it was the photographers plus all the rumors about she and I having a romance just because we were doing a movie together. That brought even more paparazzi. They’ll take 10,000 photographs in one day just waiting for that moment where you have a hug or you look at each other a certain way, even though it’s totally innocent. And then for me, there always seemed to be time when you scratch indelicately or pick your nose or something. They’re just waiting and you don’t realize they’ve got you until you see the photo somewhere. You make that one wrong move and they go, ‘Ha, got you, you bastard.’ A lot of them are really good people, but some of them are a nightmare.”

[From Parade]

I don’t think it’s any secret that Gerry lets himself go a little bit in between films. Between the infamous moobs to the sweet tooth to his incessant talk about chocolate and butter and pastries, this is a man who likes his food. And not to be too crude about it, but a man who enjoys his food is a man who is good in bed. That’s my working theory, anyway.

Gerard Butler is shown at the Law Abiding Citizen premiere on 10/6/09. Credit: Fame Pictures