John Mayer: Miley Cyrus is a child, needs to learn to say “F–k off”

Keep A Child Alive�s 6th Annual Black Ball
John Mayer is back in the news in a big way. While I won’t say why I personally think we’re hearing more about John right now, I will say that I’m slightly pleased with the return of John Mayer and his general smug douchiness. I almost missed him. He’s a lot of fun to mock. For those of you who think that I and others like me just don’t get the joke, bless your hearts. I get the “joke”. I just think the Mayer himself is the bigger joke.

The first piece of Mayer news is his boys-only 32nd birthday party with Jeremy Piven and Stephen Dorff. Chuckle. Can you imagine what that was like? I can almost smell the stench of Axe body spray permeating throughout the club, the image is so vivid.

JOHN Mayer made his 32nd birthday a guys’ night. The singer, who’s had a string of high-profile gals, was joined by pals Jeremy Piven, “SNL” star Seth Meyers and Stephen Dorff at 1Oak. “Women kept trying to get close to John, but his buddies had him cornered and made it impossible for them to contact him,” says a spy. Mayer did, however, share his cake with model Paige Butcher, who was also celebrating her b’day at the club. Noticeably absent was Mayer’s ex, Jennifer Aniston, with whom he’s reportedly remained friends.

[From Page Six]

Uh, I hope Seth Meyers isn’t really friends with those guys. Please, please, please. Anyway, John Mayer also gave an interview to MTV recently, and of course he had to pontificate on all of the hot-button topics in the news. The conversation came around to Miley Cyrus and her recent withdrawal from Twitter. Of course, John had a lot to say about that:

If anyone could be the male counterpart to Miley Cyrus when it comes to epic tweeting, it has to be John Mayer. The dude loves to tweet. And tweet. And Tweet. But he totally understands why Miley made the decision to leave the site. And, he supports her choice, even if he wouldn’t make the same one.

“I think she’s smart enough to realize there is some interference of the brain that she doesn’t want to deal with. Artists have enough to deal with,” John told MTV News’ Tim Kash.

“She’s a child, she’s a fantastic artist — I think there’s enough mental real estate being taken up by dealing with all of that stuff. … For whatever reason, I am old enough and smart enough to tell someone to go f— themselves if they tell me to go f— myself. I think if you’re in Miley’s situation, it might take a little too much time to play goalie for your own heart and mind. So I totally get it.”

He went to say that Miley had to leave Twitter because people were using her thought for their own fodder, so it makes sense she should decide to leave.

“So nobody hates Miley Cyrus; they’re just picking up on her brand, repurposing it, to try to make a little bit of Miley cash,” he explained. “It’s damaging people’s minds. Imagine Shannon Doherty with a Twitter account, back in the ‘90210’ days. That would’ve just flat-out killed her.”

Would he do it though? “I would rather tell the world to eat my a–hole before I would delete my Twitter account,” he joked. OK then!

[From MTV]

Huh. I get that John’s trying to defend Miley and her decision and give her props for being a “fantastic artist”. And I do think it’s nice of him to get her back like that, considering her father won’t even do that. But the douchiness returns when he talks about his own feelings about Twitter. At least he’s self-aware, I guess. He never wants to quit Twitter because how else would he intellectually masturbate?

Keep A Child Alive�s 6th Annual Black Ball

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16 Responses to “John Mayer: Miley Cyrus is a child, needs to learn to say “F–k off””

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  1. Sumodo says:

    Does John Mayer really refer to himself as “John Mayer,” like Elizabeth II does? Well, then, he must be a queen.

  2. GatsbyGal says:

    Why does it not surprise me that he’s friends with Jeremy Piven? Hahahaha.

    Also, why a 32-year-old man is so engrossed with twitter I will never know. Anything for some attention, I guess.

  3. mollination says:

    God this guy is just so blah. He thinks were all on the edge of our seat to pontificate all of his metaphors and crappy theories – when really, he’s the only one that is stunned by his own intellect. He’s not like some shocking or provoking ariste – he’s john friggin mayer. he’s a damn punchline.

    That interview from last week where he couldnt answer any of the intellectual questions was the most amusing thing to ever come from this bloated egotistical blowhard.

  4. Firestarter says:

    “Noticably absent…Jennifer Aniston” WTF ever? Why should she be there? They are not dating. They are friends. I have friends whose birthday celebrations I don’t go to. The media will say and do anything to mention Aniston in some Mayer or Pitt story. It’s disgusting.

  5. tommysgirl54 says:

    firestarter….will you marry me?

  6. QB says:

    Miley is an “artist”? I thought that an Artist was someone who made art and I havent see any art coming from Miley.

  7. Jazz says:

    I wish they would both go away.

  8. stinabelle says:

    ia, firestarter. “noticeably absent” from a “guys night”?

  9. Vermithrax says:

    Doucheovs Maximvs.

  10. Kayla says:

    Oh Seth Meyers, you are on my computer background and everything, please do not make me rescind that honor

  11. Jen says:

    What I don’t get about John Mayer is that he sings all these love songs and has all this optimism, etc going on and then he says things like ‘eat my asshole.’ Um. Shatter the illusion much?

  12. DrM says:

    KAISER!!! Repeat after me “John Mayer is not self-aware…John Mayer is not self-aware…John Mayer is NOT self-aware”

    Full of himself most definitely….

    Oh and on Miley Cyrus needing to learn to say “F*** O**?”. John needs to learn to STFU.

    Douche…

  13. Cinderella says:

    John’s words of wisdom are about as meaningful as Billy Ray’s.

  14. Juice In LA says:

    “I can almost smell the stench of Axe body spray permeating throughout the club, the image is so vivid.”

    Love this, and hope to NEVER experience it!

  15. Miley says:

    I wish John could see himself through my eyes.. he looks ridiculous, His doucheness is written all over his face and he is wearingb this smug expression, in every single fucking picture. You just know how much of a dick he must be to women. ICK.

    Oh yeah and I hope he is reading this because I bet that reading every article on the internet about himself is probably his favourite pasttime, besides urinating on dumb blondes.

    I know i sound bitter about a person i haven’t even met, and that is retarded.. but so is life, anyway some people just gross me out.

  16. Blanca Orme says:

    I value the article.Really thank you! Really Cool.