Heidi Montag’s album sells less than 1,000 copies

Heidi Montag may have scored the coveted cover of People Magazine last week with her quickly retracted “addicted to plastic surgery” story, but it doesn’t seem to have helped her album sales. Heidi moved less than 1,000 copies of her aptly titled “Superficial” CD, but she did a little better with iTunes downloads. Over 6,000 people subjected themselves to Heidi’s unique blend of mediocre autotone monotony. This has to be devastating to Heidi, who is so sensitive to criticism that she used it as an excuse for getting so much plastic surgery that she looks like a different, puppet-like person at the age of 23. She also said that she was certain her album would be a bestseller, and that she spent nearly $2 million making it:

The “Hills” star’s debut album “Superficial” has sold less than 1,000 copies in its first week, according to Us. Montag, 23, has said she wants to be the next Britney Spears, but she has a long way to go: Spear’s last album “Circus” sold more than 500,000 copies in its first week.

I’ve spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality. I put every dollar I have into this,” Montag told EW last week. When asked what she would do if the album flopped, Montag said, “That’s not even a possibility. I think within the first week we will definitely make our money back. The songs will make an impact in pop history.”

Earlier this month, People reported that the actress is addicted to plastic surgery and once underwent 10 procedures in a single day. “My ultimate dream is to be a pop star. I’m competing against the Britney Spearses of the world — and when she was in her prime, it was her sex appeal that sold,” she said.

Although her album has sold fewer than 1,000 copies, Nielsen SoundScan reports that her individual songs for sale have been downloaded on Amazon and iTunes more than 6,000 times.

[From Parade]

In related news about Heidi, her plastic surgeon denies her story that she “almost died” and needed oxygen while in an aftercare facility after her 10 procedures. He told Access HollywoodThat didn’t happen as far as I know.” Listen to how he qualified that with “as far as I know.” This guy was willing to completely remake a 23 year-old’s face that didn’t need it. It’s not like he has a ton of scruples. He also claimed Heidi is a “savvy business woman” who isn’t addicted to surgery.

Anyway I feel bad for Heidi. Of course no one is going to buy her album, and she’ll be stuck with that face for the rest of her life. Maybe she’ll try and fix it, but it will only get worse.

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62 Responses to “Heidi Montag’s album sells less than 1,000 copies”

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  1. Obvious says:

    this is sad, she was attractive. these eyebrows make me think cat lady though.

    before spencer i actually almost kinda liked her (shhh1 don’t tell anybody!)

  2. Annabelle says:

    I just feel so bad fir her- she clearly has no self esteem or self worth. Yes she is part of an annoying duo, but she’s clearly the kind of person who is controlled by whomever they are with, and unfortunately for her it’s someone elwho tells her to do bizarre things both professionally and to her body and face. This girl is destroying herself and she’s too insecure to stop it from progressing

  3. Maritza says:

    I think she looks very pretty, older but pretty. I wish her well, she is so young.

  4. WTF?!? says:

    She’s starting to get that plastic surgery skeletor look– it ages her 15 years.
    Too bad, she was cute the way she was.

  5. lucy2 says:

    #1 – if you’re aiming for “Britney Spears’ quality” you’re already setting a low bar. Lets face it, Brit is no musical genius.
    #2 – where did this chick get $2 million to spend making an album? I doubt the figure, but there’s something very wrong if people like her can earn that much money doing nothing.
    #3 – I feel bad for her in a way because no one jacks up their face and body like that without some serious issues, but at the same time she’s based all of her own worth on her appearance, and continues to insist on being a star, even though she has no talent.

  6. Praise St. Angie! says:

    who were the 1000 idiots who actually paid for that?!

  7. snowball says:

    In another interview, she said her album would be as iconic as Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Then she tossed his name out again when she said she had a bad reaction to one of the sedatives for surgery, just like Michael Jackson.

    And now she drops Britney Spears’ name twice.

    She should be comparing herself to Brooke Hogan and Paris Hilton.

  8. Beth says:

    That’s embarrassing considering she’s on a tv show and relatively famous. People with no exposure sell more than Heidi.

  9. greekfrk says:

    This makes my day. Obviously I can’t stand Heidi and with this epic fail we can only hope that she won’t put out another album. Leave it to real talented musicians. The ones who starve for their art.

  10. You Smell Nice says:

    You can’t polish a turd, and that’s what her album is.

    Next stop: Shanna Sands will guide her on how to make a porno tape and sell it to Vivid Video for $1 million.

  11. Sigh. says:

    She’s dead in the eyes, man.
    I don’t wish it on her, but if she went this far, what is left for her to do to go down infamy?

    That million or so should have went towards singing/acting lessons, a better manager/agent, and therapy.

    And not to talk him up, but isn’t her husband being uncharacteristically quiet during all of this?

  12. Sumodo says:

    Who want to trade looking 23 for 33? Only a wannabe who can’t get a label to back her spends $2mil of their own money on making an album. She’s a mornon getting horrendously BAAAD advice. Sucks to be you, Heidi!

  13. IceKitty says:

    I think I read somewhere that in 2008 her and Spencer made something crazy like 3 million dollars…


  14. Novaraen says:

    She must just be plain dumb to think that people would rush out to buy her CD.

    I suppose after this failure she will go back under the knife and get those “H” breasts she always wanted.


  15. LolaBella says:

    No amount of plastic surgery, whoring your new face out, name-dropping music stars or talking about your ‘alleged near-death experience’ will change the fact that you have NO singing TALENT, Heidi.

    I think King Spencer (Snicker) is waiting in the wings to see how his orchestrated ultimate publicity stunt plays out.

    The fact that Heidi was so heavily criticized and ridiculed for the plastic surgery and now having her album TANK, he’s probably going to keep a low profile and pretend he had nothing to do with it.

  16. hatsumomo says:

    This is fricking awesome! I wonder how she is going to explain away this epic failure. When you release a first album, even a noob to the industry knows you’re suppose to go out and push it. Not get a few thousand dollars of PS and stay holed up in your home and expect it to sell. Even Britney did the whole free shows in malls across America when her first album Oops! came out years ago. Its how you drum up interest and publicity. Expose your music to that one more person who might go out and buy it. I dont think she’s ever done a single show, other than Miss America pageant. And all artist whether they’re good or bad knows the money isnt in the album sales- its in the touring and club appearances. God I hope she goes out and does it! Think of all the priceless humiliating fodder that can out it! Awesomeness!

  17. d says:

    She is THE poster child for delusional.

  18. princess pea says:

    “I’ve spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality. I put every dollar I have into this… except for what I needed to get thousands of dollars of work done.”
    Fixed it for you Heidi.

    Honestly, she probably counts the medical bills as part of the cost of CD production, because she seems to think that the surgery was necessary for success. Dumbass.

  19. Kevin says:

    #12, you can in fact polish a turd. I saw them do it on Mythbusters. Would this mean you don’t know shit?

  20. Anna says:

    So much for her album being the next “Thriller”. What a dumbass. She deserves no less. In fact, she deserves worse.

  21. lucy2 says:

    I bet she and her wart of a husband bought the 1000 copies themselves. Seriously, who would buy that, except as a joke?

  22. Sigh. says:

    @ LolaBella
    That’s what I think he’s doing — Either hiding out, letting her crash ‘n’ burn alone, or even worse, waiting in the wings, ready to POUNCE on US in some sad attempt to drum up sales by “defending” his slave, I mean wife.

    EDIT: And the people who would buy her stuff — KITSCHY COLLECTORS and SADO-MASOCHISTS?

  23. dee says:

    lol@ the list of who bought the 658 copies..this is from ESPN site.
    Excited Montag relatives: 5
    Reluctant, yet guilty Montag relatives: 40
    House cats walking across keyboards attached to computers with iTunes mistakenly left open: 92
    People who thought they were downloading Audrina’s nude pics: 140
    People who thought they were downloading Paris Hilton’s album: 10
    Inebriated college students feeling “ironic”: 79
    Plastic surgeons seeking to refine personalized marketing pitch: 254
    Unmedicated obsessive-compulsive music collecting disorder patients: 24
    Evidence collectors, International Criminal Court: 3
    The earbud-wearing guy on the treadmill at your gym who’s always singing “Jenny from the Block” out loud: 1
    Britney Spears, to feel better about herself: 1
    Kevin Federline, to feel better about himself: 1
    Ron Artest, just because: 1
    Angels with trumpets, sounding one by one: 7
    Spencer Pratt: 0 (BitTorrented for free, brah!)

  24. juiceinla says:

    the saddest thing is that horrible Surgeon who would do this to her…Anyone spending anytime here in LA – or anyone who has ever seen Joan Rivers-knows that once a girl goes under the knife, she must spend the rest of her life “maintaining it” or the face and “plastic parts” will droop or move unnaturally. The eventual result of a life time (or even 10 years) of Plastic Surgery will be crazy cat lady look.

    I feel horrible for the old Beverly Hills ladies with the sunken fake noses…they look soo creepy.

    Bottom line for anyone considering face work: once you start you cannot stop.

  25. fizXgirl314 says:

    I believe the doctor… everything about this woman is for publicity… she will even fake death in order to get it…

  26. dando says:

    I didnt beleive the whole ‘i almost died bs’ either. its all for sympathy attention. what a talentless freak.

  27. omondieu says:

    Sounds like she’ll be booking another appointment with her plastic surgeon really soon…

  28. Arvedia says:

    She makes my heart bleed, and I used to hate her. What a horrible thing to be looking like that when you had a nice horsey face that was your own, not some unnatural frozen puppet look that isn’t even pretty.

  29. Annicka says:

    I honestly think this whole thing is hilarious. I know people will think I’m a heartless bitch, but I think it’s funny that she is so deluded that she thinks her awful music is going to be the next big thing, and then reality comes and gives her a big sucker punch right in her plastic nose.

    And I do not think she was attractive before, or after. I think she had a touch of Tori Spelling’s Horsey Face Syndrome, and while she managed to remove the horse from her face, she now looks like a 43 year old woman who had a skull transplant from a male and gets yearly facelifts.

    Heidi Montag is talentless, shameless and an unapologetic attention whore. She became “famous” for “acting” on a mediocre “reality” show about spoiled Californian rich kids who drink Starbucks and talk on their phones all day long. That she became famous and rich from being so useless is painful to acknowledge, but seeing this happen to her is redemption for all the magazine covers I’ve seen, and all the millions of dollars she’s made being useless. Her album flop and her manly puppet face makes it all worthwhile.

    I’m looking forward to watching her morph herself into Jocelyn Wildenstein Jr.

  30. andrea says:

    um, the first thing i thought when i saw the headline is, hm, do we need to worry about this girl heading fast down the drug/suicide spiral? i hope not, was just thinking how very, very messed up she seems to be. major delusion + major sensitivity + not talented + surrounded by “hollywood” bottom-feeder types = not good. maybe she’ll just double down on the delusions and become the next wildenstein – that would obvs be better than the drugs/death road.

  31. heb says:

    How much of this is her being a dumbass and how much is the Speidi “I am more famous than Michael JOrdan” schtick?

  32. DrM says:

    @ andrea – I agree with you on the “heading down the drug/suicide/delusional” comment. Heidi BELIEVES the things she is saying about her album making ‘an impact on pop history’. That’s actually a bit disquieting. She needs help big time. I agree with the post-er who said the money would have been better spent on therapy rather than plastic surgery or making an album.

    We don’t get as much exposure to the Spencer’s over here in NZ, I have satellite tv and get the E channel and MTV so that is how I know who they are. I always found them to be unbelievably arrogant and grating and changed the channel the second they came on. Now I just feel sorry for them both. Her surgery does look awful, no bitchiness intended. And the title of her album is both ironic and sad as she cannot see that by calling her album “Superficial” she has added to her own humiliation.

    I hope she has a good emotional support system.

  33. BitterBetty says:

    @ DrM: no, she doesn’t, because she’s a selfish cow and treats her friends and family like SHIT.

  34. pd says:

    I love it. I hope this is the nail on the coffin of her “career”.

  35. t-rae says:

    Has anyone noticed that she has the look of Octomom?

  36. mouth.like.a.sailor says:

    she has some really terrible people around her. you know, i was always a fairly responsible kid and teenager, when i was like Heidi’s age (almost) i came into a lot of money, and because of my-regardless of my emotional maturity-i ended up totally screwing up and blowing all the $$$. i do have a house to show for it but nothing else which is ridiculous. people that age are usually still learning about money.. it completely SHOCKS me that her family and friends, even Spencer for christssake didn’t think it was insane for her to spend $2million on making what they had to know would be another bland and marginal pop release… i mean, THAT’s CRAZY!!!!! where is she getting all this money from, does anyone know?!?!? i mean, that’s $2million on studio time and producers and stuff-that’s not living expenses, clothing, cars…nothing, just a friggin record!! honestly, where is her money coming from that she can just blow it like that- does anyone know? does anyone on here know how much she earns or is worth or whatver. there is no way in hell my dad would let me spend $2million on something that is not a guaranteed return. it’s insanity. and we know how much Spencer LOVES money…what was he doing during allthis.

    i’m not even gonna touch the plastic surgery stuff again..it’s pretty disturbing and sad. that’s all i can say about it right now.

  37. KelBear says:

    LMFAO. Maybe since the proof is in the numbers, she will realize how much of a singer(performer) she really is hahahahahah

  38. bubbles says:

    she should have spend that 2 mill on buying her own album, because noone else will!

  39. uSheep says:

    wow this story is great, but dee’s post made everything soo much better.

    i would feel bad if it wasn’t heidi

  40. Bob Lawblaw says:

    Normally I wouldn’t dare read a post about Heidy Montag, but I honestly had no idea who the middleaged housewife was in the thumbnail.

    I am in complete accordance with you Annicka. Too many times we’re left saying, “don’t worry, they’ll get theirs.” Well here it is ladies and gentleman, Heidi getting “her’s”, complete with empty fishbowl eyes. Way to trade in shit for shat.

    *edit I also agree with you bubbles– she should have spent that 2 mil on itunes gift cards for herself.

  41. gg says:

    She’s probably lying about the $2 mil, and about “almost dying”, but if she almost died, that is supposed to be cool since she loves surgery so much?? Good God child you are D-U-M-B. Her entire family and friends must be as well to not have her in therapy.

    LOL @ dee!

    She really does not hear the crap that comes out of her mouth. She’d get laughed out of a courtroom if she ever had to give witness testimony. She interviews just like The Octocow.

  42. Mairead says:

    Oh dear God, what did she do to herself? She was perfectly attractive before and at least looked human; I feel really very sorry for her now.

  43. Shay says:

    How many were purchased by spiedi and her family/friends? 1000 too many as far as I’m concerned.

  44. ViktoryGin says:

    @ dee…haha

    How tragic to suffer from such massive delusions of grandeur publically. The fact that no record company was willing to take a chance on her should have been her first clue. So, what does she do? She allegedly squanders all of her assets on something that was a doomed investment from the beginning. Her daftness is astounding. She probably fancies herself in league with actual “talented” musicians who just need opportunity and exposure in order to be a success. Geez. Sad, silly girl.

  45. GatsbyGal says:

    HAHAHAHA! Ohhh I LOVE that no one’s buying her crappy music. Makes my heart warm to hear it.

  46. Bete says:

    She married an asshole, then she became one.

  47. jsan says:

    andrea and DrM, I agree with you. I get a very bad feeling about this one. Low self-esteem, dead eyes and Hollywood vultures circling, this is not a good combination. She needs to get out of the spotlight and into therapy, however that is very unlikely to happen.

  48. CB Rawks says:

    Yep, if she tries to fix things with more surgery, she’ll just become Bruce Jenner.

  49. mhjmc says:

    got curious ..listened to her album on itunes (well 30 second snipits) .. holy crap it’s bad!!! No wonder she wouldn’t sing on GMA .. she can’t sing!!!!! It’s all enhanced sounds like Britney Spears during her mental days.

  50. skeptical says:

    wow i must be in a masochistic mood.. i followed youtube links from that demo linked in the post.. and i actually sat through a few of the full “songs” umm yea.

    so that’s autotune huh? it sounds like the Tron Choir meets Alvin and the Chipmunks. that’s the best way i can think of to describe my visceral reaction to that… that… yea…

  51. Megan says:

    It’s odd that Spencer hasn’t shown his face throughout this whole plastic surgery thing with Heidi. They are always together normally, promoting themselves as a couple.

    I feel bad for her though, she obviously has a lot of mental issues.

  52. Dagmar Unger says:

    Please would you mind finding out how many copies of their “How to be famous” book sold? I read that only one person showed up at the book signing by Spencer and Heidi had to tweet to get people to go to the mall.

  53. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “sounds like the Tron Choir meets Alvin and the Chipmunks”

    HOLY CRAP, that was so funny! and truly apt!

  54. bella says:

    Well, are any of us really surprised? I mean, honestly…

  55. bden says:

    Markymark’s post at #2 has now put Laurie Anderson’s “O Superman” in my head.

  56. pung says:

    It’s so sad how much more plastic surgery she needs.

  57. Stan says:

    Major train wreck in the making.

  58. mtngirl says:

    @dee, that is hilarious!

    Heidi is clearly in need of some serious mental help; in her interviews she acts like a fem-bot, did the plastic surgeon do a partial lobotomy, is she on too many drugs? And Spencer, what a douche. They probably need something like Fame Whore Anonymous and decades of counseling to remember what it is like to be a non-plastic human being.

  59. kristen says:

    Love Hedi montags` superfical song!