In recent months, Usha Vance looks like she’s been going through it. I’m not saying that with any particular sympathy. Usha sucks, as does her eyeliner-wearing, couch-f–king husband. But we can all see as the life is being drained out of Usha. She barely colors her hair these days- while that’s fine and it’s a personal decision, her greying hair ages her. She looks tired and drawn and profoundly uncomfortable almost every time I see photos of her. People are really talking about whether Usha’s husband is possibly banging Erika Kirk, who ran her fingers through JD Vance’s hair on stage at an event last month. Well, during a rare public outing last week, Usha wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. Was she signaling something? Not according to her office.
After Usha Vance was spotted out without her wedding ring on, rumors about her marriage to Vice President JD Vance began to swirl. A spokesperson for the second lady has now addressed them.
The second lady, 39, visited Camp Lejeune, a military training facility in Jacksonville, N.C., alongside first lady Melania Trump on Wednesday, Nov. 19. Usha did not wear her wedding ring during the appearance, and after photos of the outing were published, rumors of trouble in her marriage to the vice president, 41, picked up steam on social media.
Amid the speculation, a spokesperson for the second lady — who is very private and rarely speaks with press — addressed the ringless appearance in a statement to PEOPLE.
The spokesperson said that Usha is “a mother of three young children, who does a lot of dishes, gives lots of baths, and forgets her ring sometimes.”
Usha and JD have been married since 2014 and share three children: sons Ewan, 8, and Vivek, 5, and daughter Mirabel, 3.
Rumors that the couple had split were also fueled by the vice president’s embrace with Erika Kirk, the widow of right-wing political organizer Charlie Kirk, which went viral in late October.
The photos of Usha and Melania’s visit are in this post – Usha actually looked like she pulled herself together for this appearance. Which makes it all the more notable that she didn’t wear her wedding ring – she made a point of wearing statement earrings and styling her hair, but didn’t remember to wear her engagement ring or wedding band? Fishy. They inadvertently make it sound like Usha is a single mother as well – where’s JD for all of the bathtimes and dishwashing? There are rumors percolating online about where JD spends his weekends, but I haven’t seen anyone confirm it. It would be interesting to see some actual reporting on all of this.
Photos courtesy of Getty.
Married women don’t forget about their rings, especially not ones that know they are in the public eye. Even when I ‘broke’ my ring once, or had hands too swollen to fit it while pregnant, I put something else on that finger.
Stopped wearing mine when my husbands girlfriend confronted me at an event.. once vows are broken the rings have no meaning anymore even if the marriage lingers on for financial or personal reasons.
Mmmm disagree. I take mine off when I work out, and I definitely forget to put it back on sometimes. I think I’m going on 2 days now.
That said, I am not a public figure, and my husband is definitely not selling the country to the highest bidder while concurrently courting affair speculation. If those were variables, I’d probably be a bit more mindful. 😉
Eh, I don’t wear a ring – been married over 16 years now. I just find it to be a pain. My husband wears his, but his is titanium and flat, whereas mine is textured and gold.
That said, the excuse is dumb when she clearly was otherwise dressed up.
I think she’s having buyers remorse at this point. She, like a of prominent Indian-American conservatives, did not expect the racist backlash to her ethnicity. They are incredibly stupid for not seeing it ahead of time.
🎯
The desire to belong to the “in group” can be blinding.
Disagree with married women not forgetting to wear rings. I do frequently. It’s just not that important to me, and sometimes I wear other jewlery and still forget to put on my rings. Happily married 24 years.
That said, I’m not in the public eye. I know that there are certain times when I know I should have it on and I make sure to wear it then. (He has a super judgey friends group with gossipy wives and I wouldn’t want them to start crap. He cares less about it, but I feel bad)
My wedding ring is a plain, thin platinum band that I wear all the time (through dishes/cleaning, showers, etc.–I even sleep in it since it doesn’t have stones.) I frequently go out without my engagement ring or the anniversary band my husband gave me for our 20th, but never my wedding ring because it’s always on my hand. He takes his off in the house but has actually come back home to put it on when he’s accidentally left without it because he says “it feels weird.”
All of this is to say that I don’t think that Usha went to the trouble to get dressed up, do hair and makeup and put on other jewelry, but “forgot” her wedding rings. If she was running to Target in sweats/jeans, maybe, but not for an official appearance.
If you are the wife of the VP, your wedding ring is like your flag pin. I can’t imagine her forgetting to put it on ever. That’s got to be intentional. And also, does anyone think Melania even talks to her?
I forget to wear mine all the time. I never wear it when working out, nor camping, hiking, and playing sports. I also won’t wear it to bed (lost a ring in a hostel once and don’t wear jewelry to bed since). And, honestly, I don’t wear it a whole lot of other times (weather and other factors) since my fingers swell and shrink depending on the temperature and my ring can go from fitting perfectly to being pretty loose or pretty tight in extreme temps.
Which means I frequently forget to put my wedding ring back on, and it has no bearing on the state of my marriage whatsoever.
And honestly, it’s kind of bonkers to me that people think often seem to think famous people are telegraphing coded messages about their relationship status through jewelry?
So counterpoint to the she-picked-out-statement-jewelry-thus-this-is-a-coded-message-choice argument: she absolutely knew she was going to be photographed at this event and the photos would be picked apart online, why would she want to stir up divorce rumors anymore than there already are?
Unless it’s all true and she wants everyone to know, but even in that case…a statement is a much better way to [at least try to] control the narrative than a coded no-rings message, and she’s/they’ve been in a political marriage for long enough to know that.
Of course the ring thing may indeed be intentional. But it just as easily and plausibly may not be, and the whole someone-didn’t-wear-her-wedding-ring (so much more often an observation about women than men) – therefore-the-marriage-is-on-the-rocks rumors are so silly – especially when the logic is something as stereotypical (and inaccurate) as “married women never forget their wedding rings.”
I’m a married woman and I sometimes forget to wear my wedding ring. I often take it off when I’m putting on sunblock or cleaning with harsh chemicals and then I’ll be out and suddenly realise I forgot to put it back on.
I only take mine of for stays at the hospital. I certainly don’t treat it as optional pieces of jewelry.
I don’t read too much into not wearing her ring. But I do know it’s not because she’s doing dishes. She lives in a very nice residence fully staffed by navy stewards.
And I’m pretty sure that the kitchen VP Harris had completely renovated just 4 years ago, about which MAGA wouldn’t stop complaining, has a functioning dishwasher.
Exactly. What a bunch of bunk that excuse was.
So the guy who lectures women about doing their job and having babies and decreeing that the grandparents must help with childcare…doesn’t actually help his wife with the kids that much. Well, color me shocked. I despise Vance. So yeah what’re the rumors about his wknds?
I’m wondering about the weekends now too! Tell me the rumors, I want to know. I guess we could try looking up where AF2 is going. I wonder if it’s Arizona
She’s a heart beat from the White House and taking a good long look at the monster she created. He didn’t just canoodle a neo nazi, he then publicly said he wished his atheist culturally Hindu wife would find Jesus. I think we should all prepare for First Lady Erika Kirk.
I think she knew exactly what she was marrying but wasn’t expecting the leopards to eat her face? She clerked for both beer boy kavanaugh and roberts and even that wasn’t enough to save her. They all suck.
“First Lady Erika Kirk” gave me chills
The weekend rumor is that he is flying to Tennessee, where Erika Kirk has relocated to.
If this is true, then she didn’t wait long! How will MAGA and the Evangelicals feel about both of them if it comes out that she’s not the grieving widow, and he’s the not the grieving friend and faithful husband? ( I know he’s Catholic now, but they’re less judgmental these days.)
They’ll feel great that he’s found a true partner in promoting a white supremacist theocracy with a high birth rate.
Two Popes have judged JD Vance hard.
MAGA won’t care if it’s Erika Kirk. They have no loyalty or love for Vance, but boy they have glommed onto Charlie’s “martyrdom” and his widow. Evangelical MAGA’s would be even more forgiving if Vance were to suddenly realize he’s born again as one of them (MAGA evangelicals do not see Catholics as real christians though they tolerate them). They wouldn’t care about a divorce because they’re giant hypocrites and racists. Given Vance’s general unlikeable traits and his lack of hold over MAGA, he might see dumping his wife for Erika as a smart move, and he’d likely be right. That’s how venal he is, and how deplorable MAGA’s base is.
They would welcome it with open arms. A white christian blonde haired beauty pagent wife for vance. Just what the MAGAs ordered.
Soft-launching the separation announcement, me thinks.
I think she should probably be concerned for her and her children’s safety. A divorce would not fit at all with his fundy Catholic persona.
He will get an annulment somehow, and then his marriage to Usha will never have existed.
He’s definitely laying the groundwork for that with comments about wanting Usha to convert.
Whether or not she seeks divorce doesn’t change the fact that he can see a path forward that doesn’t include her.
They weren’t married in the Catholic Church. He won’t need an annulment.
He’ll just pivot and adopt an evangelical persona. MAGA won’t care. Evangelicals would love it, because they do not think Catholics (even fundamentalist ones) are true Christians.
Oh, there is no way Pope Bob will allow this guy to have an annulment! No way!
There is no need for an annulment if the marriage is not in the catholic church. It won’t be recognized and so all he needs is a divorce for the civil status.
I forget to wear my rings ALL THE TIME….but I am not the 2nd lady who’s marriage is being analyzed.
If you are used to wearing a wedding ring your finger feels weird with it off. You notice its absence. So I don’t buy the “forgetting to wear it” excuse. Especially when you are getting gussied up for an event. I don’t wear my engagement ring everyday but I wear it when I go out.
I stopped wearing my ring for about two years once. But that was because I stumbled and landed on my ring hand. The finger swelled up and I ended up having to get my ring cut off at the ER. I have since repaired and resized it.
After that? I never take it off. I don’t take it off to do dishes or bathe or even garden. I’m sure some people do but it does strike me as a little odd that she appeared without it and freshly styled and coifed. And looking, IMO, happier.
What a pathetic (and unbelievable) response. Usha’s should wake up, smell the coffee and start negotiating her exit, not wasting time and money on bargain bin spokespeople.
I almost never wear my ring – it’s a pretty fancy one and I work out a lot — like so much – and I live in terror over the idea that it could be lost while I train. Usha and I are not the same on so many levels – but honestly – after many many years of not wearing my ring to avoid damaging it or losing it – I very much understand rings are just jewelry, they do not represent my self-worth, my value or commitment as a wife and mother, nor do they in any way reflect the health of a marriage. So. Is something going on with the Vance marriage? Who knows. And also, who cares? These people deserve each other, ring or no ring, and whatever happens happens.
3 decades married and it’s a crapshoot on any given day whether I am wearing my wedding & engagement ring. It’s off and on all the time for various reasons. I’ve not worn it at professional events, as well. But… if my husband were ‘friendly’ with Widow Kirk? I might well leave it off to make a statement.
3 decades married and it’s a crapshoot on any given day whether I am wearing my wedding & engagement ring. It’s off and on all the time for various reasons. I’ve not worn it at professional events, as well. But… if my husband were ‘friendly’ with Widow Kirk and publicly opined about his wishes about my conversion to any particular religion? Well, then, I might be ‘forgetting’ it a lot more often.
I’m not reading anything into this. I think Usha is in it for the long haul regardless of how her husband treats her.
Does her greying hair ages her or makes her look her age? I read your comment and imagined people judging me for barely caring anymore when I do care and want to set an example for younger women who might want to approach their beauty evolution differently. It’s makes me a bit sad to see that even here it’s presented this way. (At least it’s on a MAGA!)
LOL yes, she was doing lots of dishes and giving lots of baths, before she got ready for her appearance. Well, now we know she can gaslight, as well.
By the way, @Kaiser, she’s never colored her hair. At least she’s honest, that way.
I agree it’s a distraction or an attempt at gaslighting. They want the press/public to go down this rabbit hole rather than look at something else. Wonder what the “else” could be?
I am here for this story and I want more heiferology posts on Erika Kirk.
Seriously though, does this mean that Vance actually has better chances if he abandons his wife? That’s crazy.
screaming @ “heiferology”
Boy, I wish I had coined that.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQjIUWbEaPo/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Given how Vance and his friends see women, I don’t think there are a lot of bathtimes and dishwashing involved for him. Also they probably have two nannies for each child and an army of house staff so I don’t even think that she doesn’t bathtime and dishwashing either
lol, heiferology. Im still stunned that she ran her fingers through his hair
(at all, b/c they’re both gross, but especially in public). She/they wanted the speculation.
I’m cynical enough to think that *he* thinks he’d have a better chance with a white woman, a “true believer” (in the far-right) with money and possibly followers. Usha seems to be the “smart” one who brought him into Leonard Leo’s orbit and maybe he thinks he’s exhausted that.
Their whole relationship ship has weird vibe. What struck me was a comment Shady made about Usha “having three kids” instead of “we have three kids”. It wouldn’t surprise me if he kicked her to the curb in favor of Nazi Queen Erika. Plus there are these rumors about them arguing in public.
He always talks about his kids as if they were Usha’s alone. He’s a fascist weirdo.
He said that?? WTF?
The press seems so determined to lack curiousity about basic things. Things that, with Dems, they’d scream about for decades. I’m amazed they bothered to ask about the lack of rings. Hopefully they follow this up. And while I don’t care about their marriage, I do care about their ongoing arrogance to issue morality lectures and I care about the abuse of office from the logistics of an affair. Not to mention security issues/blackmail.
Also:
– Where are the 1st and 2nd ladies actually working? Literally. Their offices are a pile of rubble.
– Why does the 2nd lady get to be “private” and “rarely speaks with the press” on our dime?
– What is the planned portfolio of work for the first and second Ladies?
– Do the Vances still live together at the Naval Observatory or are we paying for more?
she is a public figure-and by all reports an intelligent woman-whose marriage has been under scrutiny for quite some time. Although countless women in America, including some commenting on this post, may often forget to put their wedding ring back on, it beggars belief that she would have “forgotten.”
while I doubt that she would formally separate with kids that age, particularly while her husband is in office, I find it hard to imagine that she would be willing to go along with her husband’s actions and behavior while looking like a smiling Stepford wife without at least a little bit of protest.
I watched Michelle Obama’s fashion lookback upload on the Vogue channel yesterday. The crazy degree to which certain accessory or styling choices had to be approved was a surprise. There was actually back & forth between the State Dept & the EastWing about the leather evening gloves [that could not be easily removed] to go w/ evening gown Tom Ford sent over for a State dinner. “There’s all these voices & all this protocol” The things that made headlines: Getting bangs [to give her edges a break] & sleeveless day dresses for a formal portrait. Throw it in the mix w/ the outrage over her husband’s tan suit, or VP Harris & her Tiffany earrings [which earned a post here].
Usha was certainly aware of the climate she was stepping into, especially as a woman of color. I remember the Gawker days when commenters said DC gossip & power plays are 1000x stronger than anything you see in Hollywood, where a missing wedding ring is a common move/signal that a celebrity marriage is on the rocks.
This woman is not doing any dishes and is mmmaaaaybe doing baths but I even doubt that. Before she quit a year ago, she was a high powered attorney with a serious job and not the main caregiver for the kids and I have a hard time believing she is all of a sudden doing all the domestic work when they have a house full of staff and she is traveling and working in her new role. All of that is fine, obviously, but using it as an excuse that she forgets her ring is playing to the MAGA mom crowd and absolutely ridiculous. I do caution anyone thinking that somehow she will leave him or they will divorce. Remember the entire 4 years of the last T-mp term when everyone thought Mel was half out the door? Well she was and is but she never fully leaves. These women are in it for the long haul.
Yeah the “dishwashing” excuse is ridiculous. It’s like when William and Kate claim they can’t work because they need to personally drop off and pick up their kids at school every single day.
She is in the Christian cult party. No way did she just forget her wedding band. And good for her.
She could have asked any woman (or man) on that plane to borrow a ring. This was absolutely not an accident. It makes sense that she’d be the first one to crack though, they’re probably horrible to her behind the scenes.
Would she have dumped him or would he have dumped her? I can’t tell who would be more soulless between the two of them.
Public figures are aware of optics. They don’t treat their rings in the same way as regular people who forget to wear them.
My parents have been happily married for 52 years. I don’t think I’ve ever seen their wedding rings on. They do have them, but don’t wear them…
The issue is not whether married women in general forget to wear their rings, but whether Usha herself has a habit of doing so and, if that is the case, since when this ‘habit’ began…
‘…where’s JD for all of the bathtimes and dishwashing?’
Ah, Kaiser, you know in MAGAworld men have nothing to do with childcare or housework. That’s a woman’s sphere.
Everyone talking about how they never wear their rings is (respectfully) being obtuse, because there’s a difference between us “regular degulars” never wearing their rings and The Second Lady, who is more than well aware of the public scrutiny on her and her family, appearing at an event without her engagement OR wedding ring on for the first time since she’s been in the public eye. Please be forreal.
I am a lover of jewelry so my ring finger feels naked if I’m not wearing my wedding set. There have been a few instances where I’ve run out the house and forgot to put my rings on, but I also don’t have millions of eyes watching my every single move. I’d imagine I wouldn’t forget if I did. it would be one thing if they didn’t care about public opinion but you can tell in the way they respond to things (especially JD Couch Lover Vance) that they do. It wasn’t an accident.
Umm married women often take rings off. I often take mine off.. I get bloated near the end of my cycle . Or when I travel. Or when I go to the gym. it’s not like a hand cuff that I can’t take off or else. . J
I used to watch the show Sordid Lives and this is the “high-end” version of that. You really can’t make this shit up. The only victims are “Usha’s children.” I can only imagine what she might be thinking or planning. I hope she goes scorched earth, but she won’t.
Usha is looking very rough in the top photo. You can tell the stress is ravaging her and she’s only 39, but looks a lot older. This is a slow-burn soap opera.